Full PDF (3-25-05) by Student Life

F R I D A Y MAR. 25, 2005 Vol. 126, No. 63

Light rain 50° / 38° w w w. s t u d l i f e . c o m

INSIDE

STUDENT LIFE T H E I N D E P E N D E N T N E W S PA P E R O F WA S H I N G T O N U N I V E R S I T Y I N S T. L O U I S S I N C E 1 8 7 8

Student defecates in RA’s dorm room By Rachel Streitfeld and Helen Rhee News Staff Lee 3 resident advisors walked in on a nasty surprise last Friday night: someone had broken into and vandalized their rooms, reportedly defecating in at least one RA’s room. Police are offering $500 for any information regarding the incident. “The vandalism was out of the bounds of any sense of decency,” said Washington University Police Chief Don Strom. “It was disgusting. The behavior was totally unacceptable and inconsis-

Cadenza tells us what’s overrated and underrated. Do you agree with their selections?

PAGE 8 The editorial board and Chancellor Wrighton weigh in on the theft of Wednesday’s Student Life.

PAGE 4

WEATHER FORECAST Saturday High: 50º | Low: 39º Partly cloudy

Sunday High: 50º | Low: 38º Light rain

By Sarah Kliff News Editor Alpha Phi has started to take action to remedy problems that arose at its formal at City Museum last Friday by offering to perform service or donate fundraising for the museum. However, City Museum ofﬁcials do not plan on accepting this offer. At the formal, hosted by City Museum, multiple members of the sorority were publicly intoxicated in front of other City Museum guests, including a group of Girl Scouts. In a letter written to the City Museum by Chapter President Jessica Schaffner, Alpha Phi apologized for its actions. “We recognize that our actions were inappropriate and unacceptable, and jeopardized the integrity of your organization,” said Schaffner. “And for this, we express our deepest regrets. Please know that it was never our intention for these events to take place and we intend to make whatever reparations your organization feels comfortable with.” The letter then offered Alpha Phi’s service to the museum in whatever way the City Museum found appropriate, suggesting working at the museum or donating money through fundraising. Although

INDEX News Sports Forum Cadenza

1-2 3 4-5 7-8

EMILY TOBIAS | STUDENT LIFE

These copies of Student Life were found in a trash can outside of Holmes Lounge early Wednesday evening. Hundreds of copies were either stolen or thrown away earlier in the day.

Student Life stolen from newsstands By Rachel Streitfeld Contributing Editor

In an effort to raise the level of the conversation, the RAs in the William Greenleaf Eliot (WGE) residential college sponsored a lecture on Wednesday by Barbara Baumgartner, a professor of women’s studies at Washington University, on the role pornography plays in society at large. “I heard Professor Baumgartner speak three years ago, and thought it was very thoughtprovoking,” said senior Jessica Hahn, another Shepley RA and the person behind the event.

Newsstands across campus stood empty Wednesday after hundreds of copies of Student Life were stolen and stuffed into nearby trash cans sometime during the morning. Papers were yanked from at least nine buildings on the Hilltop campus, including Mallinckrodt, Holmes Lounge, McMillan and Cupples I. Yesterday afternoon, Student Life staffers discovered neat stacks of papers dumped in trashcans • R E W A R D • in Louderman, Lab Sciences, the Psychology building and in Holmes Lounge. Wash i ngton University police said yesterStudent Life is offering a $250 reward day they were for information leading to the proceeding identification of the individual(s) rewith an investisponsible for the theft of Wednesday’s gation. “We’ll follow newspaper from bins around the Hilltop up on any leads campus. Please e-mail all information or anything to tips@studlife.com or call (314) 935that we come 6713. Names of tipsters will remain across,” said confidential. WUPD Lieutenant James Roth. “It could be criminal, or it could be referred to the Judicial Administrator.” Student Life General Manager Andrew O’Dell estimated the total fi nancial loss to the paper at around $3,000, including printing and advertising costs. Student Life is offering a $250 reward for information leading to persons responsible for the theft. “This is very serious and it’s no different than stealing a car or a laptop,” said O’Dell. “We hope by offering a reward, individuals with knowledge of the theft will come forward.” In the policy box, located in the Forum section of every Student Life issue, readers are informed that the fi rst copy of the paper is free; additional copies cost 50 cents. “The size of the reward is commensurate with our perception of how serious a crime this was,” said Student Life Editor in Chief Jonathan Greenberger. “It indicates that we are very serious about tracking down the perpetrators of this crime.” Though O’Dell could not compile an exact total, the stolen papers numbered in the many hundreds. In an area with as much student traffic as Mallinckrodt, Student Life deliverymen distribute at least 1,100 copies of the paper three mornings a week. Every Student Life paper stand in Mallinckrodt was empty yesterday afternoon. Chancellor Mark Wrighton said he was “dismayed” about the thefts in a letter to the editor (see page 4). “While I don’t always agree with what is written in Student Life, I believe that it is important to have campus and student news available to students from an independent source,” Wrighton said. “When there are differences of opinion on important issues, as there will always be, it is crucial to have forums for constructive debate.” On its Web site, the Student Press Law Center (SPLC) calls newspaper theft “a terribly effective form of censorship.” The organization has reported eight cases of newspaper theft at universities during the 2004-2005 academic year, all of which involved a student or groups of students hoping to suppress a

See PORN, page 2

See PAPERS, page 2

See ALPHA PHI, page 2

$250

DAVID BRODY | STUDENT LIFE

On Monday, preparations for the Final Four in St. Louis began to fall into place, literally piece-by-piece, with the laying of the floor inside the Edward Jones Dome. “We’ve been doing it for 4.5 hours, and we are halfway done—so it will be an eight-hour day,” said Mike McEntee, one of the workers who was helping to install the pieces, around noon on Monday. The floor consists of 203 four-by-eight foot pieces and 14 four-by-four foot pieces, according to Mary Hendron, the director of public relations for the St. Louis Convention and Visitors Commission. Each piece has both a number and a letter on it, creating a grid that the workers follow in the assembly. When asked how heavy the pieces were, McEntee replied, “I’m not sure; they are pretty heavy, that’s all I can say. [It takes] four guys [to lift each piece].” - Emily Tobias

Prof screens graphic porn ﬁlms to provoke conversation Contributing Reporter

High: 60º | Low: 45º Warmer

City Museum Director Elizabeth Parker appreciated the intentions of the sorority, she did not foresee Alpha Phi helping City Museum for multiple reasons. “We are going into our busy season and the time it would take to teach them would probably be more than we can manage,” said Parker. “It’s very sweet for them to offer, but we’re probably not going to do it unless they are absolutely insistent or Washington University wants it.” Alpha Phi, said Parker, should focus more on ﬁxing things on campus rather than off. “It seems very appropriate that they are sincerely regretting their behavior and I would imagine they have really felt the opinion from their peers and Washington University faculty for the way they presented themselves,” said Parker. “Very nice of them to offer [to help at City Museum], but I think the most work they need to do to make things right on campus and with Washington University.” Since Friday night, Parker has received many phone calls from parents of Girl Scouts who witnessed the sorority’s behavior. She received one call from a University faculty member, whose daughter was present at the Museum. According to Parker,

FINAL FOUR FALLS INTO PLACE

By Brad Nelson

Monday

See DEFECATION, page 2

City Museum to Alpha Phi: Thanks but no thanks

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT Due to the theft of most copies of Wednesday’s edition of Student Life, many readers missed that issue’s content. As a service to those readers, we are reprinting a selection of stories from Wednesday’s issue on page 3 today. Please visit studlife.com to read all the stories you may have missed.

tent with behavior expected of the Washington University community.” Student Life agreed not to print the names of the Lee 3 RAs due to the sensitive nature of the situation. The RAs asked Lee 3 residents not to speak to reporters. The Residential College Director for Lee, Urisonya Roberson, also declined to be interviewed. Strom alluded to past conﬂ icts between the RAs and students on Lee 3 as a possible motive for the crimes.

Plenty of people watch pornography – the industry grosses $10 billion a year, more than the revenues of NBC, ABC and CBS combined – but few people actually talk about it. “People have a preconceived idea of what images of people’s bodies means, they’re either negative or positive, but I don’t think people think about what that actually means” said senior Anisa Baldwin Metzger, a resident advisor in Shepley House.

STUDENT LIFE

One Brookings Drive #1039 #42 Women’s Building St. Louis, MO 63130

Newsroom: (314) 935-5995 Advertising: (314) 935-6713 Fax: (314) 935-5938

Editor: editor@studlife.com News: news@studlife.com Calendar: calendar@studlife.com

Please Recycle

2 STUDENT LIFE | NEWS

News Editor / Liz Neukirch / news@studlife.com

PAPERS n FROM PAGE 1 specific story. SPLC Executive Director Mark Goodman said students often see newspaper thefts as a prank, not as a criminal offense for which they could face prosecution. “It’s a prank in the same way shouting down a speaker on campus is a prank, or stealing books from the library is a prank or blocking the entrance to a fi lm being shown on campus that people want to see,” said Goodman. “It’s a very serious threat to free expression, and I just can’t fathom that any college or university that cares about free and open debate would tolerate it.” In “a handful” of similar cases, Goodman said students had been criminally charged. Others have been fi ned or put on probation. “It is serious,” he said. “It is a crime and can be treated as such.” Greenberger said the theft prevented the University community from having access to the news and opinions published in Wednesday’s issue. About fi fty students are on staff at Student Life, and many

FRIDAY | MARCH 25, 2005

STAFF/FACULTY PROFILE Willem H. Dickhoff

more contribute to the paper. “It’s important to remember that Student Life is a student product,” said Greenberger. “Many students on this campus put a lot of time and energy into producing the paper. So in stealing the paper, the thieves destroyed the work of students on this campus.” Greenberger said the paper would continue to publish stories the editors deemed newsworthy. “If this was an attempt to intimidate Student Life or to prevent Student Life from covering certain kinds of stories in the future, the perpetrators of this crime should be aware that they have not succeeded and they will not succeed,” he said. Two years ago, a shipment of Cadenza—then published as a separate edition—was stolen off the loading dock before it could be delivered. A business in Clayton later reported that the papers had been deposited in their dumpster. The perpetrators were never discovered.

Professor of Physics

Originally from: Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Did you attend college and/or job training? Where? Undergraduate and Ph.D. at the Free University in Amsterdam.

What was your mascot? In a ﬁght, who would win: the mascot from your alma mater or the Wash U Bear? No mascot at the time I studied. Why do people need mascots anyway?

What brought you to Wash U? Assistant professor position in my ﬁeld: quantum mechanics of many particles.

What is your favorite book? “Humanity: A Moral History of the Twentieth Century” by Jonathan Glover. Should be read by all students attending WashU (and everywhere else).

Something interesting that many people donʼt know about you is...? My wife and I are members of Greenpeace, Amnesty International and the Sierra Club; we don’t eat meat and don’t watch television programs. We love to travel to Japan and Italy.

—compiled by Helen Rhee news@studlife.com

PORN n FROM PAGE 1 “I wanted to do it again. I thought it could attract people and create an intellectual discussion.” During the lecture, Baumgartner presented two segments of a documentary that showed graphic scenes from pornographic ﬁ lms. One of the pornographic scenes depicted a man molesting a naked woman who was tied to a table. Baumgartner stressed the importance of watching these images. “I think it’s one thing to talk in the abstract and it’s another to see the kinds of things that are out there,” she said. “While this type of pornography makes up a small minority of the industry, it’s much more mainstream than people realize.” The lounge was deathly quiet for several seconds after the clips had ended and the lights came back on. Many students were shocked to learn that such explicit material was created and was available to the public. “It really disturbs me that this [scene] is a reasserting of male over female dominance, that sexuality is

DEFECATION n FROM PAGE 1

solely about pleasing a man,” one student said. Another student called that kind of pornography “inhumane” and “wished the popularity of it would decrease” without infringing on the freedom of expression guaranteed to United States citizens in the First Amendment of the Constitution. Baumgartner also outlined the two positions feminists take when dealing with pornography. One group, she said, ﬁ nds pornography demeaning, exploitative and supports legislative efforts to suppress it. Other feminists don’t like it either, she said, but are sensitive to pornographers’ freedom of expression. The latter group points out that, just a century ago, it was illegal to distribute educational information about the use of contraceptives because it was deemed obscene. Baumgartner said that legislation is largely ineffective in controlling the type of pornography released to the public, and argued that the best way to deal with porn is to talk about it.

“Educating helps, we need to get it out in the open in order to weed it out,” she said. “That way, we can re-envision pornography to be more sensual and equitable for both sexes.” In order to draw attention to the lecture, fl yers were posted throughout the halls of Shepley, Wheeler and Danforth dorms with the words “FREE PORN” scrawled in oversize block print on the top third of the sheet. At the bottom of the fl yer, it said “FREE FOOD & VIDEOS!” and a line below it: “it’s gonna be hot…” After the lecture, students said they were glad they went, and felt they had a better handle on pornography’s role in society. “It was defi nitely really interesting,” said sophomore Michael Kugler. “I had grappled with the essence of pornography. I defi nitely think it’s something you can view as universally subordinating.”

“The level of tension between Residential Life staff and residents is likely to have contributed to this episode,” said Strom. Police are asking students to step forward to help uncover the perpetrator. Strom said students could submit anonymous tips by going to the WUPD Web site, police.wustl.edu, and clicking the link titled “Silent Witness.” “We feel that the people on the residents’ floor have information about the person who vandalized the room, but they have not come forward,” said Strom. “They either know or have heard who was responsible for it.” Strom could not comment on possible repercussions for the perpetrator. For now, police are continuing their investigation of evidence they picked up from the scene. “We’re going through some physical evidence,” said Strom. “We’ll process it as we see fit.” Other RAs said they were shocked and disgusted by what happened in Lee. “I defi nitely think it’s disgraceful, what happened,” said junior Jarrett Cabell, an RA in Beaumont. “If it were residents who did it, I really think that shows little respect, not only for their residential advisors but for Residential Life in general.”

news@studlife.com news@studlife.com

ALPHA PHI n FROM PAGE 1 the faculty member thought it naïve of the museum to host a Girl Scout event and sorority event at the same time. Alpha Phi has not announced any plans for work on campus, according to Greek Life Ofﬁce director Karin Johnes. Johnes suggested that the sorority may currently be looking at dealing with individual members before working with the Greek and University communities. “As far as on campus, I think right now they’re still going through their internal process of dealing with the individuals involved,” said Johnes. “I think they deﬁnitely have an interest in wanting to help any of the other organizations that have upcoming events, to be like ‘this is what happened to us, this is where our errors were, this is what we’re taking responsibility for, if you can learn from our mistakes please do.’”

news@studlife.com

Affordable health insurance that fits your life. PremierOne by Mercy Health Plans is affordable health coverage designed to fit your individual needs and budget:

Catch up! Get ahead! Graduate early!

• 3-month, 6-month or 1-year plans • Range of office visits and 3 deductible levels • Prescription drug coverage

Attending summer school will stimulate your mind and help you get ahead in your course work. You might even be able to graduate early! With affordable rates, an easy online application process and fast approvals, PremierOne is the individual health coverage you’ve been searching for.

Live your life. We’ve got you covered.

Call 1-800-830-1918 today for a free, no-obligation quote or information packet. You may also visit us online at mercyhealthplans.com

Interested on finding out more?

www.slu.edu/summer Call: (314) 977-7234

FRIDAY | MARCH 25, 2005

STUDENT LIFE

FOR THOSE WHO MISSED IT

AS A SERVICE TO READERS WHO WERE UNABLE TO FIND A COPY OF WEDNESDAY’S PAPER DUE TO WIDESPREAD THEFT, WE ARE REPRINTING A SMALL SELECTION OF WEDNESDAY’S ARTICLES IN THIS SPACE. TO SEE ALL THE ARTICLES YOU MISSED, PLEASE VISIT STUDLIFE.COM.

FROM THE NEWS SECTION

Alpha Phi kicked out of City Museum By Sarah Kliff News Editor Alpha Phi’s formal at the City Museum came to an abrupt end Friday night when the museum’s management shut down the formal and demanded the entire sorority leave the building. The museum said it asked Alpha Phi to leave at 11:00 p.m. on Friday because multiple members of the sorority were publicly intoxicated, posing what the museum called a safety threat to the sorority members and other City Museum guests. Nicholas Lyter, the evening manager at the City Museum, said that several problems led to the museum’s request for the group to leave. He cited a few specific incidents, including a sorority member who passed out in the public women’s bathroom on the first floor—a claim the sorority denies—as well as three members of the sorority vomiting in trashcans located in areas that were open to the public. Lyter also said that another member of Alpha Phi passed out by herself at a table in the museum’s café, right in front of a group of Girl Scouts and their chaperones. All of these incidents, said Lyter, created a safety hazard for members of the public who happened to be at the museum. “Our concern was with regard to the sorority and their guests as a whole,” said Lyter. Junior Jessica Schaffner, president of Alpha Phi, said that the City Museum misrepresented some of the incidents. She claimed that no member passed out in a bathroom. “I was present at that situation, and there was someone who was sick but did not pass out,” said Schaffner. Schaffner further explained that the incident involving a member passing out in the café “had not been reported by the many competent sober contacts.” Lyter said some members were already drunk when they arrived at the museum, and it was this pre-partying that caused problems, rather than members’ alcohol consumption at the City Museum. “They did have the event catered, and they did have an open bar for those who were of age, which wasn’t an issue,” said Lyter. “The big concern was that a lot of them were intoxicated when they got here, which is a serious issue concerning the museum and the guests.” This incident, according to Lyter, will have a serious impact on the relationship between the City Museum and the

COURTESY OF CITY MUSEUM

At their formal last Friday, members of the Alpha Phi sorority were reportedly publicly intoxicated at the City Museum. A manager at the museum claims that sisters were vomiting in trashcans and passing out in the museum. University. “City Museum will never host a Washington University sorority or fraternity again,” said Lyter. Lyter later revised his stance on the issue, stating, “It’s not to say that we won’t [ever host a sorority or fraternity]. We’re going to have to seriously evaluate future groups. It has definitely steered us away from hosting those groups.” In a written statement, Schaffner apologized for the detrimental effects that specific members’ behavior could have

caused, noting that the individuals’ choices are not representative of the entire organization. “The events of last Friday night were regrettable and inappropriate, but they are not accurately representative of Alpha Phi and our mission,” wrote Schaffner. “Unfortunately, individual incidences can reflect negatively on an entire organization. While we are not trying to justify or pass blame, there were additional factors beyond our control that contributed to these events.” Schaffner also wrote that the sorority is currently dealing with the problems internally and has specific plans of action. According to Karin Johnes, director of the Greek Life Office (GLO), Alpha Phi contacted her about the formal and has thus far worked with GLO to come up with ways to deal with the problems that occurred. “They are wanting to take a proactive, reactive stance themselves, and they’re very concerned with what happened,” said Johnes. The Greek Life Office is not currently taking any action against Alpha Phi since the sorority did not violate any Greek policies. Many of the problems, said Johnes, were out of the sorority’s control. “At this point, it seems like what happened was there were several members who made poor decisions prior to even getting to the event,” said Johnes. “At this point, I don’t see any policy violations. It’s not like they were serving hard alcohol at the event.” Johnes noted that the events were unfortunate but did not object to the museum’s actions. “City Museum is a pretty classy establishment, so I don’t blame them for what they did,” said Johnes. “Obviously, it’s embarrassing for the University. I’m not going to petition them to change their stance.” Junior Nicole Soussan, president of the Pan-Hellenic Association, said that the Association would not take action until the facts of the situation were elucidated. “Right now we need more information so we’re not relying on hearsay and rumors,” said Soussan. Soussan did note that Alpha Phi’s actions could have a negative impact on the entire Greek community. “When chapters do good things or bad things, it reflect on the entire community,” said Soussan. “I think that’s something that Alpha Phi has realized on their own.”

news@studlife.com

FROM THE SPORTS SECTION

FROM THE FORUM SECTION

Sexist ﬂyers fill posting space Steroids and Milli Vanilli: Gotta love ’em?

By Melissa Miller Staff columnist

ccording to the ResLife posting policy: “No sexist or discriminatory materials allowed.” Unfortunately, this policy is not being followed. I don’t want to set out in this article to lambaste specific groups because I feel that many groups at Wash U are guilty of sexist and discriminatory advertising. In most cases, I truly don’t remember the groups who sponsored these posters, just the fact that they offended people. So, while avoiding naming names, here are some examples of sexist and discriminatory advertisements that have shown up in residential and public areas in the past year or so. Flyers for parties tend to be big offenders: the Partygras flyer with the topless woman (the word “Partygras” appropriately placed); the one for the CEO and Secretary Hos party; the party flyer that said, “You like (Dick) Cheney. We like George (Bush);” the “Chimps and Crows” party flyer that replaced the “Pimps and Hos” flyer of years past. There’s also a flyer in my hallway right now that advertises an event with topless DJs that has an objectifying drawing of two women making out. The DJ advertisement seems to depict what will actually go on at the event, but neither the poster nor the event should objectify women. Other recent flyers include ones put up by an a cappella group whose poster campaign had pictures of women accompanied by the descriptions, “Bitch,” “Tease” and “Easy,” while pictures of men had descriptions like “Boss” and “Player.” If you

didn’t realize that the group was trying to satirize soap opera stereotypes, seeing these posters could have upset you. Some of the Student Life kiosks have an advertisement for the “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle” DVD that features the disembodied torso of a naked woman who loves the Harold and Kumar DVDs so much that those are all she’s wearing. The sign reads, “Either way, you score.” Even a recycling campaign had a flyer with a pin-up drawing and a message that said, “Go topless.” It was asking Wash U students to take the tops off bottles to recycle them. Most of these posters and flyers assume that everyone attending the party is heterosexual—a

ResLife should enforce its rules against discriminatory advertising. la (Dick) Cheney and George (Bush). Many of them seem to place sexual expectations or labels on partygoers. If you go to the Pimps and Hos party, does that make you either a pimp or a ho, or require you to behave as such? If I go to Partygras, am I expected to take off my top like the woman in the picture? If I don’t emulate the woman in the picture, am I a prude? If I do, am I a slut? Many of these signs objectify women. The Student Life kiosks promote an unrealistic female body image (which upsets many women I know who struggle with eating disorders). Furthermore, how can you “score” with this woman in the picture? She has no head! No brain with which to tell you “yes.” So how am I, and other women on this campus, supposed to study when we are bombarded every day by flyers and signs every time we return to our dorms or every time we go to eat in Mallinckrodt? I know some women who can ignore it, but many are upset and some are overwhelmed by these flyers. I know many men who are upset, too. I should hope that at Wash U we can still be sexy, have sexy events and have sex without being sexist. We can be provocative without being bigoted. Getting rid of sexism does not mean getting rid of the fun. Maintaining an atmosphere that is sexual but not sexist requires more consideration, creativity and originality. Wash U students have demonstrated their capacity to exhibit these qualities, so I don’t think making a change would be hard. But while students should work to make better advertisements, ResLife should also enforce its rules against discriminatory ones. The ResLife Web page states: “Violations of this policy will result in materials being removed and sponsoring organizations being subject to disciplinary action.” Interestingly and unfortunately, the Student Life kiosks are not subject to the ResLife rules because they are commercial advertisements. Apparently, commercial vendors, entrepreneurs and businesses that come to campus are allowed to put up nearly any kind of advertisement. Student groups, however, are subject to the ResLife policy. But as far as I can tell, they have not been punished or asked to stop. Please, stop. Melissa is a junior in Arts & Sciences. She can be reached via email at mjmiller@artsci.wustl.edu.

I imagine I grew up in a household similar to yours. You know, the standard guidelines that parents of our generation try to instill in their progeny: honor your parents, respect your elders, fear God and take everything Jose Canseco says as absolute truth. No questions asked, right? At this point in time, I think the Jose Canseco commandment is the most important to adhere to in this, the era of steroids. Hell, I didn’t even read Canseco’s book, but when a player like leadoff hitter Brady Anderson hits 50 home runs in 1996 after having hit only 72 in the previous eight seasons, it doesn’t take a book to make it clear that there has been rampant steroid use in Major League Baseball for years. This brings me to my point: steroids, while harmful to one’s body and detrimental to your sex life, are not as bad as people make them out to be. I’m an idiot, you say? Well, chew on this for a second: In 1994, during the strike-shortened season, total attendance for the season was right around 60 million. In the years following the strike, baseball had a very hard time recovering, with attendance levels mired in the lower 60 millions. Then 1998 rolled around. You all remember 1998, don’t you? Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa hit a combined 136 home runs and, coincidentally, attendance shot up to 73 million! Sure, this could have been completely random, but during this same period, 1994-1998, the number of average home runs hit per game also increased significantly, on the order of 1.02 per game in 1994 to 1.17 per game in 1998. In fact, it turns out there is a very high correlation between how many times Chris Berman shouts “back, back, back” per night and how many fans pack America’s baseball stadiums. If this isn’t making too much sense to you, try to look at this from a simple analogy. Let’s say you are really into early 90’s pop music. Why? I don’t know, but just go along with me for argument’s sake. One day you hear this new group called Milli Vanilli. These two guys are horrible. Sure they can dance, and they’ve got the hair and everything else, but, when you hear them sing, you wish someone would give you a lobotomy. So what does Milli Vanilli do to win the hearts of the American consumers? They hit the metaphorical home run. Milli Vanilli gets three singers with good voices and no stage presence to record their songs for them. Then, all the two talentless schmucks have to do is dance and look good while they lip-synch over good voices. In this particular case, Milli Vanilli went on to sell millions of records and eventually won a Grammy. This seems a good point to recap—Milli Vanilli sucks; very limited record sales. Milli Vanilli cheats; millions of records sold. This looks kind of like the current situation in baseball, does it not? Steroids provide players with an unfair competitive advantage in terms of strength, stamina and resistance to injury. A baseball player who uses steroids has a much greater chance of exceeding his natural talent (more hits, more power, etc.), and a baseball player who excels is going to get a hell of a lot more money and be held dear in the hearts of his fans. So, at this point, everything is going okay, right? Wrong! Sure, Milli Vanilli makes a ton of money, cultivates quite a following and eventually wins a Grammy. Get ready for the backlash, though. The dreadlocked wonder boys are caught lip-synching on the stage of the Grammys right after they win (“girl you know it’s… girl you know it’s… girl you know it’s…”). They’re screwed, ain’t no wrigglin’ out of this one. Milli Vanilli’s accomplishments are forever tarnished; they have the proverbial asterisk next to their names. Well, that’s exactly what we are experiencing in baseball now, the “asterisk-stamping” period. Asterisks next to *Caminiti, *Giambi, *McGwire, *Bonds and *Sosa. So what are we, as avid baseball aficionados, supposed to do now? Well, let me finish. After the Grammy is given back, Milli Vanilli is cast out from the musical world, banished from the industry that once provided them with riches and accomplishments well beyond their natural talent levels. What did American music consumers do after the fiasco? They went out a few years later and bought the computer manipulated crap coming out of J. Lo or Ashlee Simpson’s mouths. Lesson learned? Not hardly. After following that example, what are we as baseball fans going to do after poohpoohing players like Giambi, Bonds and Caminiti for using steroids? Well, we are going to fall in love all over again with the new crop of players with giant muscles, whoever they may be. With that being said, fans are always going to flock to the baseball stadiums as long as the players are excelling and hitting homeruns into the nose-bleed sections. In a sense, we fans are encouraging steroids by continuing to support this type of cheating. How can something we publicly encourage be so bad?

Jordan Katz

sports@studlife.com

4 STUDENT LIFE | FORUM

Forum Editor / Roman Goldstein / forum@studlife.com

FORUM

FRIDAY | MARCH 25, 2005

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS Write a letter to the editor letters@studlife.com or Campus Box 1039 Submit an opinion column forum@studlife.com or Campus Box 1039

STAFF EDITORIAL

Alpha Phi’s formal fiasco

lpha Phi clearly hasn’t taken to heart the Greek community’s recent initiative to tighten selfgovernance. Last Friday, their formal abruptly ended when the City Museum decided that they were being a public hazard and a public nuisance. According to City Museum officials, several sorority members showed up to the formal intoxicated. While inside, many girls swapped wristbands, enabling underage students to purchase alcohol illegally. Sorority members puked in public trash cans and one sister allegedly passed out in front of Girl Scouts. These drunken members should never have been allowed into the City Museum in the first place. WUPD Chief Don Strom said that the sober contacts, the organizer, the venue and security are responsible for ensuring that intoxicated students aren’t allowed into events with alcohol. The first line of defense should’ve been the sober contacts, who must have known which of their sisters had pre-partied hard. Not only did they not keep drunken attendees off the buses to City Museum, but an eye-witness reported that one of the sober contacts left the formal early because she was tired of dealing with drunken people. But beyond the sober contacts’ failures, Alpha Phi failed itself. The idea behind self-

governance is that Greek members police each other. If any member objected to the trashed sisters’ attendance, the objections were obviously in vain. It may well have been the actions of a few that caused the public hazard, but it was the lack of action of the whole group that allowed those few to be at

If these women can drink like sailors, they should be punished like sailors. the City Museum in the first place. The final failure was B&D’s. As security for the event, they should have turned away intoxicated students per the University’s alcohol policy. According to Panhel President Nicole Soussan, however, “They didn’t do the job they should have been doing,” even dropping wristbands for underage attendees to recover to get around being carded. Bob Woolsey, head of B&D, refused to comment on the security procedures that night. He claimed that he had heard no reports of anything unusual transpiring at the formal. If that’s the case, then B&D was negligent. Regardless, it was negligent at the formal by not enforcing the alcohol policy. One University official said that B&D has a cozy

relationship with Greek organizations. Of course there’s a conﬂict of interest here, with B&D guards being asked to police the very students that pay their salaries. It’s lucrative to keep the customer happy. Soussan said that Panhel and the various sororities were reviewing B&D’s performance and exploring alternatives. Unfortunately, no other contractor in St. Louis wants the liability of securing college events with alcohol, said Strom. As with any monopoly, it’s the consumers that are hurt most. While the University looks for a better security contractor, it needs to enact quality control measures for B&D. Foremost would be drawing up a legal contract detailing the University’s expectations of B&D’s service. Inexplicably, no such contract currently exists. Alas, it seems the University isn’t taking last Friday’s events as seriously as it should. The Greek Life Ofﬁce and Panhel both saw no policy violations, and Student Life reported Wednesday that GLO Director Karin Johnes said, “It’s not like they were serving hard alcohol at the event.” So what if there was no vodka there? Alpha Phi’s actions deviated considerably from the new Greek vision so touted by GLO and Panhel, shaming and embarrassing the sorority, Greek Life and the University. Furthermore, there were quite a few violations of the alcohol policy, from letting intoxi-

STAFF EDITORIAL

Dr. Jekyll and Alpha Phi

We will not be intimidated

ell over a thousand copies of Student Life were stolen from their bins across campus on Wednesday. Many were found rudely stuffed into nearby trash cans, rendering them unreadable. Regardless of who is responsible, or why this happened, it is unacceptable. These actions are stealing. It costs real money to produce and publish a newspaper, and the reported damage is in the thousands of dollars. We expect the responsible party to fully compensate Student Life for its losses. This gesture, as a method of rebellion or threat, only serves to embarrass those responsible. It was an immature act; the proper response to dissatisfaction with Student Life or one of its articles is a letter to the editor or an op-ed. We refuse to be intimidated by students who resort to crime in response to material we decide is newsworthy. It is the responsibility of Student Life, as the mainstream campus newspaper, to report campus-related happenings. We do not selectively run stories because of what is being covered. The only way to guarantee that you do not end up on the front page is to refrain from engaging in newsworthy behavior.

Newspaper theft is not only a crime, but also a serious infringement of freedom of the press. It is an attempt to censor the newspaper’s reporting as well as the various student opinions expressed in the editorial pages. In essence, the theft’s perpetrators tried singlehandedly to determine the news and opinions the campus needed to hear. Assistant Vice Chancellor for Students Jill Carnaghi denounced the thefts. “I think it’s a heinous crime,” she said. Chancellor Mark Wrighton had a similarly strong reaction, as you can see for yourself below. And Student Union President David Ader called the thefts “simply not acceptable.” We appreciate the support of these campus leaders. At several other universities where this has occurred, the guilty parties have been prosecuted and ﬁned, according to the Student Press Law Center. To those culpable for this stunt—step back and think about how lucky we are to live in a country that allows free speech and freedom of the press. No matter what is being printed on the pages of Student Life, you never have the right to take that away from anyone. Washington University is a campus of general acceptance and integrity; let’s keep it that way.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Newspaper theft is unacceptable Dear Editor: I was dismayed to learn about the theft and destruction of numerous copies of the March 23 issue of Student Life. While I don’t always agree with what is written in Student Life, I believe it is important to have campus and student news available to students from an independent source. Universities, like good newspapers, exist to foster debate about and between differing points of view. When there are differences of opinion on important issues, as there will always be, it is crucial to have forums for constructive

debate. A free and unfettered press is one of the cornerstones of our great nation, and it is never acceptable to limit that expression of free speech by any means, especially by the destruction or removal of the publications produced to advance that notion. Mark S. Wrighton Chancellor

BRIAN SOTAK | EDITORIAL CARTOON

cated guests attend to swapping wristbands inside. Sigma Chi was punished severely for its drunken debauchery last year, and they didn’t have this new vision to live up to. Recalling that Alpha Phi was on social probation until recently and was put on probation almost exactly four years ago, it’s apparent that they have a history of misconduct, just as Sigma Chi did. But because it was public and in front of children, Alpha Phi’s actions were arguably worse than those of Sigma Chi. If these women can drink like sailors, they should be punished like sailors. The sorority is showing signs of maturity after the fact. In a letter of apology to the City Museum, Alpha Phi President Jessica Schaffner promised that her chapter would either perform community service work for the Museum or put on a fundraiser for the Museum. It’s also good that she honestly evaluated her sorority’s actions as “inappropriate,” “unacceptable,” “insulting” and “rude.” According to Johnes, the entire sorority is embarrassed and not looking to make excuses for their behavior. That’s good to hear. Schaffner didn’t respond to multiple requests for comment. She said that her adviser had told her not to speak with the press any further.

’d like to start off with a disclaimer before I launch into a tirade of supernatural proportions. I have several friends (believe it or not) who are members of Alpha Phi and they are wonderful people. I have no reason to doubt the integrity and values of their sisters. In addition, they are all very cute, so you people should stop the name calling and give Alpha Phi a break. Now on to the fun stuff. Alcohol is a powerful substance and does remarkable things to people, myself notwithstanding. Compared to most people, I’ve done a lot of very interesting things while under the influence. For example, I’ve been mistaken for a thief by a large group of German Polizei while stumbling through the nighttime streets of Göttingen and reenacting scenes from “Enter the Dragon” with my friends. Another time, I decided to see what happens inside those self-cleaning public toilets during the clean cycle, so I used my ninja skills to outwit the pressure and motion detectors and remained inside long after I should have left. Long story short, I narrowly avoided being eaten alive by the machine, much to the amusement of my friends and the large crowd that had gathered around me. I could go on, but that would be pointless. The point is that lots of people do stupid and interesting things while drunk. The interesting things are much easier to forgive than the stupid things, such as setting furniture on fire or threatening to shiv your friends with a switchblade. In my humble opinion, this is exactly what happened at the City Museum last week. There were lots of interesting drunks and not too many dangerous ones. The girl of whom I am most proud is the one who allegedly passed out on a table in front of an entire troop of Girl Scouts. That, my friends, is a very creative drunk. Anyone can pass out in the hallway of their dorm or on a couch, but she passed out in front of Girl Scouts. If you really are out there, I want to meet you. Think of the bad craziness we could create, were we to combine our drunken alter-egos. Facebook me. That brings me to the point of this column. People who enjoy drinking often have an alter-ego, a doppelgänger if you will. Unfortunately for me, mine is starting to look more and more like Mr. Hyde of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde fame. I’m starting to get him under control, but he still manages to slip out on me when I least expect it. I think I should start wearing a sign around my neck when I plan to drink a lot in case he slips out. Something like, “Hi, my name is Mr. Hyde. Watch out, because I already killed Brian and you could be next.” Sometimes it’s okay for Mr. Hyde to come out, and sometimes his presence is not welcome, especially among women and small children. Part of growing up is learning what behavior is appropriate for certain situations. For example, it is clearly okay to do lines of cocaine off Britney Spears’ chest in the V.I.P of the Viper Room in Los Angeles. On the other hand, it’s not okay to drink a handle of vodka by yourself if you are the carny operating the Tilt-A-Wheel. Just think of the children and you should be okay. See how easy that is? Last week’s event was clearly a case of poor judgment. No one was hurt, fortunately, and, to my knowledge, none of the sick girls needed to be hospitalized. Better planning could have kept this out of the public eye or created a more formal atmosphere where binge drinking was clearly not appropriate. From my experience with formal events, lots of drinking is expected and a certain amount of privacy is usually available. Last January I helped some friends and their medical school classmates drink an entire open bar dry, so this is nothing new. From what I have heard, things are being taken care of. I hope we will learn from our mistakes, but in my experience it usually takes a moment of self-realization before any lessons are learned. In the future there are steps we can take to minimize the risk of this occurring again—and with luck, Mr. Hyde will stay in his cage until it’s okay for him to come out and play.

Brian Schroeder

Brian is a senior in the Olin School of Business and a Forum Edtior for Student Life. He can be reached via e-mail at forum@studlife.com.

STUDENT LIFE Editor in Chief Associate Editor Senior News Editor Senior Forum Editor Senior Cadenza Editor Senior Scene Editor Senior Sports Editor

Jonathan Greenberger Cory Schneider Liz Neukirch Roman Goldstein Matt Simonton Sarah Ulrey Mary Bruce

Senior Graphics Editors Brian Sotak, Emily Tobias News Editors Doug Main, Sarah Kliff Contributing Editors Erin Harkless, Rachel Streitfeld, Forum Editors Cadenza Editors Scene Editors Sports Editor Photo Editors

Online Editor Margaret Bauer Copy Editors Kelly Donahue, Allie McKay,

David Tabor Daniel Milstein, Brian Schroeder, Designers Aaron Seligman, Justin Ward Laura Vilines, Tyler Weaver Sarah Baicker, Kristen McGrath General Manager Justin Davidson Ad Manager David Brody, Pam Buzzetta

Nina Perlman, Shannon Petry, TJ Plunk, Jonathon Repinecz Anna Dinndorf, Ellen Lo, Laura McLean, Jamie Reed, Camila Salvisberg Andrew O’Dell Christopher Kiggins

Copyright 2005 Washington University Student Media, Inc. (WUSMI). Student Life is the financially and editorially independent, student-run newspaper serving the Washington University community. First copy of each publication is free; all additional copies are 50 cents. Subscriptions may be purchased for $80.00 by calling (314) 935-6713. Student Life is a publication of WUSMI and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the Washington University administration, faculty or students. All Student Life articles, photos and graphics are the property of WUSMI and may not be reproduced or published without the express written consent of the General Manager. Pictures and graphics printed in Student Life are available for purchase; e-mail editor@studlife.com for more information. Student Life reserves the right to edit all submissions for style, grammar, length and accuracy. The intent of submissions will not be altered. Student Life reserves the right not to publish all submissions. If you’d like to place an ad, please contact the Advertising Department at (314) 935-6713. If you wish to report an error or request a clarification, e-mail editor@studlife.com.

Sports Editor / Mary Bruce / sports@studlife.com

FRIDAY | MARCH 25, 2005

PORTS S

STUDENT LIFE | SPORTS

MEN’S TENNIS

WOMEN’S TENNIS

Last Meet: The Bears narrowly beat out Graceland University by the score of 4-3.

Last Meet: The Bears defeated Cornell College by the score of 8-1. Team Notes: The Bears nearly swept Cornell College by winning all six singles matches and two out of the three doubles matches. With the exception of the one doubles loss, the Bears refused to drop a single set to Cornell College.

NEXT MEET: The Bears will participate in the Jack Swartz Invitational at Bannockburn, Illinois from April 1st to the 2nd. National Ranking: 13

NEXT MEET: The Bears will host Lindenwood University on Wed. March 23rd at 4:00 pm.

• COMPILED AND EDITED BY MARY BRUCE, JUSTIN DAVIDSON AND HARRY KANG • DESIGNED BY CAMILA SALVISBERG

Sophomore Jamie Kressel to represent U.S. at Maccabiah Games in Israel

National Ranking: 16

BASEBALL Last Games: Wash U. edges Greenville College by the score of 3-2. Team Notes: The Bears successfully executed a squeeze play in the bottom of the ninth inning to defeat Greenville College. Junior pitcher Kent Wallace went seven innings giving up just six hits and striking out five to keep the Bears in the game. Junior Alan Germano scored the game-winning run in the ninth inning.

By Justin Davidson

to enrich the lives of Jewish youth. Not only is sophomore Jamie Through two seasons wearing Kressel the starting third basethe red and green, Kressel has men and one of the leaders of the proven her worth to the team and ninth-ranked Washington Univerher ability to find success. sity women’s softball As a freshman, Kressel team, but she will was named as a firstalso be representteam all-UAA selection ing the United States after starting 27 games at in the 17th Annual third base for the Bears Maccabiah Games in and hitting .315 with one Israel this summer. home run and 17 RBIs last The Games are among season, despite a latethe world’s largest season leg injury that cut international and Jamie Kressel her season short. Following Olympic-style events, according to Jordan Weinstein, Gen- the season, she was named to the eral Chairman of the US Maccabiah 2004 Jewish Sports Review College Softball All-America Team. Committee. Her freshman success has folAt the Games this July, more than lowed her into her sophomore year. 7,000 athletes representing over Recovering from her injury over the than 60 countries will participate offseason, Kressel has started all in the quadrennial athletic com18 games for the Bears this season, petition for Jewish athletes. The hitting .268 with two home runs United States is expecting to send and eight RBIs with a .463 slugging a field of more than 600 athletes percentage. At third, she has posted and coaches, participating in a a 1.000 fielding percentage while range of events and sports. The committing no errors. Last week, at softball team Kressel will be a the University Athletic Association member of will be one of 27 United (UAA) Championships, she helped States sports teams competing in lead the Bears to their secondIsrael. The U.S. Maccabiah Team is consecutive championship title by sponsored by Maccabi USA/Sports hitting .333 at the plate. for Israel, a national not-for-profit volunteer organization that seeks

COURTESY OF WU TENNIS TEAM

The men’s tennis team over Spring Break in L.A.

Did You Know: The Bears have now won nine straight games. Next Game: The Bears return to action against Illinois College on Tuesday, March 22nd.

COURTESY OF MARY BUTKUS

Junior Alan Germano shows off his batting form.

SOFTBALL Last games: Wash U. 4, Central College 3 and Wash U. 2, Clarke 0 Team Notes: Freshman Laura D’Andrea hit a walk-off home run to dead center field in the bottom of the 7th inning to upend 12th ranked Central College in dramatic fashion. Sophomore Laura Sagartz allowed just 1 hit in her first four innings against Central College. Against Clarke, senior Victoria Ramsey allowed just one hit and struck out eight en route to her 6th victory of the year.

"Closest Campus Drugstore" Corner of Forest Park Pkwy and Big Bend

7010 Pershing Ave • (314) 727-4854

COURTESY OF MARY BUTKUS

Senior Liz Swary swings for the fences.

Did You Know: The Bears have opened the season with 16 consecutive wins for the 2nd straight season.

WILLIAMS PHARMACY Serving Wash U Students, Faculty & Health Service for Over 45 Years • Most National Insurance Accepted • Delivery Available • Student Discount on Prescriptions • 1-Day Film Developing • Soda, Snacks, Beer & Wine • Cosmetics

presents a guide to places of worship in the WU community

Religious Directory For advertising information, call (314) 935-6713 or email advertising@studlife.com

Open Mon-Fri: 9am-9pm Sat: 9am-7pm, Sun 10am-4pm

Come Celebrate Passover With Us! First Night of Passover: 3 seders to choose from: Traditional, Conservative & Reform. The cost is $24.00*.

JIMMY JOHN’S

CATERING PERFECT FOR

Second Night of Passover: 2 seders to choose from: Keshet & Grad students. The cost is $15.00*. Home hospitality is also available for interested students. Deadline for reservation is April 1, 2005. You are also invited to come and dine with us throughout Passover at St. Louis Hillel at Washington University for lunches and dinners. All meals will be strictly kosher for Passover and will be prepared by Bon Appétit Catering under the supervision of the Vaad Hoeir of St. Louis. For information, please visit our website at www.stlouishillel.org or call Denise at 314-935-9040. *Points are not accepted. Reservations must be made in advance at Hillel.

THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.

Hillel is located at 6300 Forsyth Blvd. • hillel@restech.wustl.edu

AND RELATIVES TOO.

Corner of Westgate & Clemens (One block North of the Loop)

Young Adult Mass Sunday 6pm Sunday Morning Mass 8am & 10:45am

Y O U R C AT E R I N G S O L U T I O N

Shabbat at Hillel Fridays, 5:45 p.m. - Services (Reform, Conservative & Orthodox)

6:45 p.m. - Kosher Dinner Cost: $9.50 points or cash $8.50 pts. or cash w/Kosher meal plan

DELIVER

JIMMY JOHNS

. COM

Catholic Student Center ...a “home away from home” tostudy, relax and pray... Everyone is welcome!

Sunday Mass: 11am & 9pm 6352 Forsyth • 935-9191 www.washucsc.org

(314) 721-6403 Wash U Students and Staff Welcome!

12808 OLIVE BLVD. ~ ST. LOUIS ~ 275.7011 3674 FOREST PARK PKWY. ~ ST. LOUIS ~ 531.8500 13586 NW INDUSTRIAL DR. ~ BRIDGETON ~ 209.0111 6681 DELMAR BLVD. ~ UNIVERSITY CITY ~ 862.6565

AFFIRMING HUMAN WORTH

All Saints Catholic Church

RSVP required by Noon each Wed. washukosher@hotmail.com - 935-7098 6300 Forsyth Blvd. (314) 935-9040 hillel@restech.wustl.edu www.stlouishillel.org

Learning, Loving, Living in the Spirit of Christ

www.lcmstl.org Lutheran Campus Ministry

LCM

7019 Forsyth Blvd St. Louis, MO 63105 863.8140 lcm@restech.wustl.edu

The Ethical Society is a community of people united in the belief that an ethical life creates a more just, loving and sustainable world for all. Join us on Sunday mornings for the 9:45 Forum and 11:00 Platform Address. Children's Sunday School meets 10am-noon Ethical Society of St. Louis (1/4 mile west of the Galleria) 9001 Clayton Rd. (314) 991-0955 www.ethicalstl.org

A church you can relate to...

Vineyard Church Sundays at 10 am in the Esquire Theater 6706 Clayton Rd. For more info call (314)221-4823 or www.stlvineyard.com

Your Ad HERE Advertise your place of worship for $16 per week. Contact us to find out how!

314-935-6713

6 STUDENT LIFE | CLASSIFIEDS

FRIDAY | MARCH 25, 2005

CLASSIFIEDS FREE Classifieds

Classified ads are free to students, faculty and staff in most instances. To place your FREE 25-word ad, simply email us from your WU email account.

Classifications Help Wanted For Rent Roommates Sublet Real Estate For Sale Automotive

Wanted Services Tickets Travel Spring Break Lost & Found Personals

--SUMMER HELP -Apartment leasing/ clerical, or maintenance/ clean-up/fix-up for W.U. area apartment management company. 725 -5757. EXCITING SUMMER JOB Looking for outgoing, selfmotivated girls to sell roses at top concerts in the St. Louis area. Contact Liz at whit1er@cmich.edu or 810 656 - 4154. FUN SUMMER JOB Counselors / Instructors needed for residential Summer camp located in Warrenton, MO (1 hour west of St. Louis). Must love kids and the outdoors! Lifeguards (certification necessary), horsemanship (experience required). Rock climbing/ rappelling, ropes course, hiking, archery, arts & crafts, fishing, and mountain biking. Experience helpful, but not necessary. We will train. Competitive salary plus room and board provided. For more info call or email: DEER HOLLOW RANCH (314) 469- 0100. dhr@hopeandrews.com. SUMMER BABYSITTER NEEDED Monday, Wednesday, Friday for three kids in Clayton area. Must have car. Call 725 -8062. SUMMER WORK! THE KUMON Ladue Center is currently hiring math and reading helpers for summer. Eight to ten hours available per week at $15/hour max. Great kids, great location, great job! Applicants who can continue in fall preferred. Call 993-9192 or e-mail your resume to tdk@cse.wustl.edu. For more information on our Center, visit www.kumonladue.com. WANNA MAKE GREAT money? Do you provide great customer service? Student Life is currently hiring reps to call on local and university clients. Light sales, mostly client service oriented. Freshman & sophomores preferred. Email resume to advertising@studlife.com

Line Ad Rates

Placing Your Ad

Deadlines

Rates listed below are for businesses or individuals not affiliated with WU.

http://www.studlife.com

In order to be published, all ads must be placed and paid for by:

1-5 issues: 50¢ per word, per issue 6-9 issues: 40¢ per word, per issue 10+ issues: 30¢ per word, per issue

For the fastest and easiest service, place and pay for your ad online! Click on the “Classifieds” link on our website to get started! • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Email: classifieds@studlife.com Don’t forget to include a contact number so we can confirm pricing & payment! • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Terms & Conditions

Phone: 314.935.6713 Prefer to speak with someone? Call us to place your ad by credit card! • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

There is a 15-word minimum charge on all classified ads. The first three words (max. one line) are bold and capitalized. All ads will appear on studlife.com at no additional charge. Please check your ad carefully on the first day of publication and notify Student Life of any errors. We will only be responsible for the first day’s incorrect insertion.

GET PAID FOR YOUR OPINIONS! Earn $15 -125 and more per survey! w w w.money for sur veys .com

2 BEDROOM 1 BATH APARTMENT for rent Walk to Wash U and the Loop. 7038 Amherst Ave in University City. 1,300 sq. ft. Great condition hardwood floors. $800/mo. Call Chris (314) 322- 4936 2 BEDROOM IN THE LOOP, living room, big eat-in kitchen. Central AC, washer/ dryer hookups, great offstreet parking. Water, sewer and trash included. $595/mo. 314-567-9992 or seanrosen@aol.com 3 BEDROOM 1.5 BATH APARTMENT. Half block from RED line shuttle. Many amenities! For more info ww w.homeandapartmentrental s.com Tom 314.409.2733. 6337 N. ROSEBURY, CLAYTON. Large 3+ bedroom apartment close to campus with central air, dishwasher, laundry, off-street parking, great neighborhood. Available June 1. $1425/month. 314-984-0258 or 860-7485419. CLAYTON, U. CITY Loop, CWE and Dogtown. Beautiful studios, 1, 2 bedrooms. Quiet buildings. $350 -$750. Call 725 -5757. NEWLY RENOVATED, SPACIOUS one bedroom apartments. Hardwood floors, washer/dryer, dishwasher. No pets. Non - smokers only. Manager on premises. Near campus. $600/month. 3691016.

FOR SUBLET (MID-MAY to mid-August): One bedroom at the Chase Park Plaza. $900/month, which includes ALL utilities, high speed internet, premium cable, and membership to St. Louis Workout (in building). The building has a movie theater, restaurants, martini bar, outdoor pool! E-mail: jnvogel @wulaw.wustl.edu.

Mon. edition: Wed. edition: Fri. edition:

2 pm Thurs. 2 pm Mon. 2 pm Tues.

Payment All classified ads must be prepaid prior to first insertion by credit card, cash or personal check. Checks should be made payable to

WU Student Media, Inc.

Fax: 314.935.5938 Don’t forget to include a contact number so we can confirm pricing & payment!

APPLE EMAC G4/700: 768 MB RAM, 40 GB HD, OS 10.2 freshly installed. Keyboard, mouse, original system disks. $450. Contact mpmenden @wustl.edu QUEEN-SIZE AND LOVESEAT-SIZE futons; black wood frames, mattresses and matching covers. Excellent condition. $100 for both; will sell separately. Call 725 2619.

ADULT NOVELTIES, TOYS, cards, ballons, more. Host a Toy Party. Call for details. Heffalumps, 387 N. Euclid 63108. Phone: 314-3610544, Fax: 314-361-2911.

GREAT HOTEL SPACE for Graduation, Parent’s Weekend & all other times. St. Louis Wash. U. Travel Agent Joe Lang. 1-800 -737-1900 ext. 121.

ANNOUNCING $450 GROUP FUNDRAISER SCHEDULING Bonus. 4 hours of your group’s time PLUS our free (yes, free) fundraising solutions EQUALS $1,000 $2,000 in earnings for your group. Call TODAY for a $450 bonus when you schedule your non-sales fundraiser with CampusFundraiser. Contact CampusFundraiser, (888) 923-3238 or visit www. campusfundraiser.com JUST THE FACTS. FACTS of life. www.justthefacts.wus tl.edu SUMMER DOROT GRANTS for Israel: five $1000 grants available. Application deadline April 1. Office of International & Area Studies. 935 -5958.

FREE CLASSIFIED ADS!!!!!

STUDENTS, FACULTY, AND STAFF MAY RECEIVE FREE CLASSIFED LINE ADS IN MOST CASES. E-MAIL US TODAY TO RECEIVE YOUR FREE AD!

classifieds@studlife.com

Your Horoscope for Friday, March 25, 2005 By Linda C. Black, Tribune Media Services Today’s Birthday (03-25-05). A conflict with authority may lead to an evaluation. Are you really on the right career path for your talents? It’s not too late to make adjustments. Choose, and be happy. To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging.

Aries (March 21-April 19) Today is a 6. You’re smart and strong and very cute, but you still can’t bi-locate. Don’t try to cram too much into the day; you’ll wear yourself out. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Today is a 5. Not a good day to gamble, or take risks of any kind. Focus instead, on your paperwork. There’s plenty of that to be done. Gemini (May 21-June 21) Today is a 7. There are still a few nerves on edge, but they’ll calm down as the day continues. If the matter hasn’t been resolved by tomorrow, don’t

worry. They’ll forget all about it. Cancer (June 22-July 22) _ Today is a 5. You can retain most of what you learn, in detail, now. Take on a complicated subject, just for the fun of it.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Today is a 7. The more you learn, the more you realize you don’t know a thing. That’s not a reason for concern; your life’s getting more complex. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Today is a 5. Unpleasantries at home could put you into a foul mood. Don’t turn a molehill into a mountain by making a big deal of it. Forget about it. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Today is a 6. Everything you read in books won’t work. So, be prepared to think on your feet when necessary. Imagination is required. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Today is a 6. Postpone a shopping trip. If you wait, you’ll have less tendency to spend

on things you don’t even want or need, just because they’re on sale. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Today is an 8. Life should be rolling along nicely, but it’s not a good time to take risks. Keep your arms inside the windows and your attitude optimistic. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Today is a 5. Bad news is good news, in a way. Finding out one more thing that won’t work narrows it down. Now, all you have to do is test everything else.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Today is a 7. You’re very involved in making sure other people have what they need. Don’t give away more than you can afford, however. First, take care of your own. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Today is a 5. Discuss with your partner what you’ll do with all the money. Don’t do that while you’re on the job,

Cadenza Editor / Matt Simonton / cadenza@studlife.com

FRIDAY | MARCH 25, 2005

STUDENT LIFE | CADENZA

CD REVIEWS

Sonic Reduction By Matt Simonton

Acclaimed author to visit By Eric Wolff

Closing up shop at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Someone needs to hang a little sign on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: “Out to lunch. Be back in five years.” That would save us the trouble, and them the embarrassment, of having to shuffle through the next few years, exhuming the few unused dinosaurs left while waiting for commercially viable acts to become eligible. Did anyone see the inductees this year? Talk about grasping at straws. Buddy Guy, the O’Jays, the Pretenders, Percy Sledge and U2, while indeed good artists, are about as exciting the Dells, Jackson Browne, Traffic… whoops, those are last year’s winners! Let’s face it, the Hall of Fame has been grinding to a halt ever since its inauguration in 1986. Once you get past what I’d like to call “the Class of Oldies 103.3”—the Elvises, Dylans, Beatles, Stones and such—there aren’t too many places you can go where the old farts and the young whippersnappers will agree. Almost everything good post-1975 is either too weird or too underground to pass inspection. Thus 2002 saw the relatively mainstream Ramones and Talking Heads make it in, but you can bet that fellow CBGB mainstays Television won’t see the hallowed halls of Cleveland any time soon. Go ahead and add Joy Division, the Fall, the Gang of Four and any of the post-punk bands considered hugely influential but commercially dead in the water. It didn’t start there, of course. The establishment has already snubbed artists like the Stooges, Patti Smith and Tom Waits, who made incomparable contributions to the music of the early ‘70s, so there’s no end in sight of all the incredible groups they’ll blackball. When the Clash make it in but the freakin’ Sex Pistols don’t, you know there must be politics involved. Therefore, as I said, we’ll have to wait a bit. Groups aren’t eligible for induction until 25 years after their fi rst release, so it’ll be a couple of years now until we get R.E.M. (‘83), Madonna (’83), maybe Metallica (’83), and even less likely, the Smiths (‘84). (The Cure’s debut came out in ’79, so I consider them screwed already.) But then, dear God, who next? Kajagoogoo? Mike + the Mechanics? Men Without Hats?? Just kidding! I only wanted to remind us all how much the commercial music of the ‘80s managed to suck. But in all seriousness, where will the Hall turn? I’ll give you a hint: the answer is NOT Sonic Youth, Hüsker Dü, the Pixies and all the groups that are rightfully called the greatest of the decade. Each year is going to be harder and harder for the Hall of Fame panel as they scramble to fi nd good artists that actually sold records. Nirvana will make it, but it’s going to be quite a long time until then. Will they bite the bullet and include rap? There are plenty of R&B acts currently enjoying their status as inductees, so why not get Public Enemy and Run-DMC in on the fun? Flava Flav and Cyndi Lauper can perform a duet at the ceremony. This whole conundrum just further reveals the absurdity of having a “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame” in the fi rst place. True rock ‘n’ roll will be, and always has been, frowned at by mature, discerning “adult” types. It’s always been fueled by lust, drugs, ostracism and a street-smart, outsider sense of cool. We just forget, after years of commercials, movies and rock ‘n roll capitalism in general, that Jerry Lee Lewis used to fit that bill. The baby boomers forgot that what they did was revolutionary and instead look for new ways to make a buck off of it. We’ve seen the same thing happen with every era. Iggy Pop, a man known for basically bathing himself in mind-altering substances and whipping his penis out on stage, wouldn’t be out of place in a children’s movie. The avant-garde and dangerous bands of the past are the cell-phone rings of the present. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is just slightly ahead of this process, a fact they’ll realize very, very soon. We get to sit back and watch them try to handle it.

Paul LaFarge is the third author to visit Washington University as part of the Spires Speakers Series, put on by Spires Magazine and co-sponsored by the Eliot Review. Paul LaFarge is an adjunct professor at Columbia and author of two novels, “The Artist of the Missing” (1999) and “Haussmann, or the Distinction,” which Dave Eggers (“A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”) called the best book of 2002. Paul LaFarge’s short story “Demons” can be found online at www.conjunctions.com/webcom/lafarge.htm. Paul LaFarge will be speaking on the craft of writing on Monday, April 4 at 8 p.m. in Hurst Lounge (second floor of Duncker) and will conduct a reading the following night, Tuesday, April 5, also at 8 p.m. in Hurst Lounge. Q: Who are some of the authors you would say have influenced your work the most? A: My answer to that question changes from year to year, and certainly from book to book. When I was beginning to write, I was more or less consciously trying to imitate Pynchon; then, when I was working on “The Artist of the Missing,” I had the rhythms of fairy tales, of Barthelme and Calvino in my head; then for “Haussmann” it was Zola, Balzac, Flaubert. Not that my writing looks much like theirs on the page; but theirs was the rhythm I was hearing as I improvised my own work. Now I don’t know who I’m listening to. The people who influence me most are probably the ones whose work gives me a sense of possibility. Proust, for his subtlety and his stamina. W. G. Sebald, for the apparent simplicity of his tone. Marguerite Yourcenar, for her certainty, and for the patience with which she enters her characters’ lives. Ben Marcus, for his transformations of the American lexicon. Philip Roth, for his ability to exploit everything in each situation he describes and his willingness to say anything. Which, in fact, is true of all these writers: They fi nd ways to say what seemingly couldn’t be said.

A: I suspect that the mistakes I made when I started out are the ones I still make, alas, and most of them have to do with not knowing when to stop. By which I mean, on the one hand, knowing when it’s best to step back from a piece of writing, and allow yourself the time to come back to it with fresh ideas; and on the other, knowing when it’s important to press on, and not to give up too quickly. All of these, I think, are mistakes of the ego, the part of you that believes a particular outcome should happen. It’s important not to be governed too much by what you think is supposed to happen in writing, and to listen to the part of your mind that’s aware of what is actually going on. This takes a great deal of patience. But the good news is that it’s not the hardest road—sometimes, if you’re wise, you’ll step away from the desk and go out for a walk.

Paul LaFarge

WWW.COLUMBIA.EDU

The Flipside of Pop Culture

50 Cent leaves fans nickel and dimed By Matt Simonton 50 Cent The Massacre Aftermath Records For fans of: The Game, Lloyd Banks, Young Buck, G-Unit Grade: D Final word: Do you like lyrically challenged sell-out rap? Download these tracks: “Baltimore Love Thing,” “Ski Mask Way,” “Build You Up”

ing Eminem, is just too goofy, and the diss track “Piggy Bank” falls ﬂat, but “Baltimore Love Thing” is a harrowing drug tale told from the perspective of heroin itself: “I don’t give a damn if yo ass start smokin’ / but we have a bond that is not to be broken!” 50’s not even too serviceable for the radio this time around, although his singles are sitting comfortably at spots 1 and 3 on the charts. Apparently the public only wants more of the same, because “Candy Shop” is an obvious retooling of his hit “Magic Stick,” and the ﬂaccid “Disco Inferno” is an “In Da Club” clone. He’d have better luck with “Build You Up,” a sleek bedroom anthem featuring Jamie Foxx, or perhaps “Ski Mask Way,” which bubbles over with ‘70s soul samples. A few better-than-average cuts can’t save this mess of a massacre, however. Hardly a bloodbath, it’s more like an abortion.

Somebody show the Exies the door By Adam Summerville The Exies The Exies are a band that should never have been allowed to have a major label release. Mixing the song stylings of Linkin Park and Staind with the vocals of Nirvana, the Exies have a sound that never should have come into existence. However, their sound is appealing to idiotic angst-ridden teenagers (note I am not saying that you have to be idiotic to be ﬁ lled with angst, but if you are going to be angst-ridden you can still listen to decent music), so they continue to thrive. Musically, the band sounds as if they’ve had their instruments for two years at a maximum. The drums are lucky to get beyond hitting on the beat, with the occasional eighth note thrown in, the guitars manage about three chords per song, and the singer spews out something between a raspy shout and singing that I would be hard pressed to count as real vocal work. Lyrically, every song is essentially the same. Given this genre of whiny, sorrowful hard rock, don’t expect to ﬁ nd a song that differs in any meaningful way from Papa Roach, Drowning Pool, Disturbed, Staind, etc. The whole genre seems to revolve around the fact that you must be deep if you complain about how bad your life is. However, a few bands have managed to differentiate themselves in that they have actually put forth songs with decent instrumentals and the ability to

A: Several things made it interesting to me. On the one hand, I care about Paris itself, and I know something about its history; the book was my way of studying the city, and also, not incidentally, of spending some more time there. Then at a ﬁ rst metaphorical remove, the transformation of Paris raises questions about urban renewal generally, and these questions were on my mind as I was writing “Haussmann” in San Francisco in the late 1990s, while the city was being transformed by an economic boom. More generally still, there are what I suppose you’d call philosophical or ethical questions about how we relate to the past, and in my book at least, the metaphor has an individual dimension: the transformation of Paris is also the transformation of a single person, Madeleine, from child to adult. I wouldn’t say that the book represents a reconciliation of present and past, however. All of these tensions—the personal, the urban, the historical—are interesting because they don’t admit of any easy reconciliation, or have any wholly good outcome (though there may be wholly bad ones). There’s always going to be some dissatisfaction, whether because you’ve failed to embrace the possibilities inherent in the present, or because, by embracing them, you’ve foreclosed some of the pleasures that were available to you in the past.

Q: What were some of the mistakes you made when you ﬁrst started writing?

CD REVIEWS

50 Cent desperately wants you to believe he’s not a sell-out. The multi-platinum selling MC, best known for the raplite hit “In Da Club” and being shot nine times, is still gangsta, he swears. Just listen to the intro cut of his new album, “The Massacre”: a naïve little white girl reads a Valentine from Fiddy, pops in his new CD and is promptly blown away in a barrage of gunfi re. Hard, right? Hardly. 50 talks the talk, but he’s fooling no one. He could redeem himself with smooth beats and lyrics, but that’s apparently not in the stars, either. “The Massacre” is just another throw-away Aftermath release, full of empty threats, weak rhymes and too much fi ller. 50 Cent’s biggest problem is certainly his flow. A combination of massive hype, overflowing charisma and dancefloortailored beats helped him on his fi rst release, but the ruse is wearing thin. He utilizes an annoying sing-speak style through most of his verses, most gratingly on the out-of-key hook of “Outta Control,” when he barely gets out, “Set it off on yo left, dawg, set it off on yo right, dawg.” He rarely ventures outside of the tired guns/bitches/braggadocio formula, and he struggles to make it interesting. “I got no pickup lines / I stay on the grind / I tell them hos all the time / bitch, get in my car,” he sneers on “Get in my Car” to a bored audience. His few lyrical departures are hit or miss: “Gatman and Robbin,” featur-

Q: Most of the conﬂict in your work seems to deal with two opposing forces—those trying to preserve the past, and the invisible and sometimes visible forces trying to erase it. What draws you to this conﬂict, and to what extent do you see your writing as an attempt to reconcile it?

Head for the Door Virgin Records For fans of: Linkin Park, Staind, Papa Roach Grade: F Final word: The sort of bland hard rock that gives the whole genre a bad reputation. Download these tracks: …

scream something other than “Hey You!” nine times in row. “Hey You!” barely works for a single line of lyrics, let alone for nine consecutive lines. Ultimately, the Exies are a shining example of why hard rock gets a bad reputation, being the epitome of “mall metal” that gets radio play, thus convincing the average listener that the whole genre of hard rock has the bland, derivative style. If you think that Kurt Cobain was the second coming of Jesus or that Staind speaks to you and understands you on a level that no one else does, then you probably already own this album. For genuine fans of rock or music in general, you would be best served to follow the album title and head for the door if you ever hear the Exies.

By Tyler Weaver

Tyler Weaver: The Hot 97 Interview DJ: A’ight, a’ight, we’re back with .22 Weav, college journalism’s hot-shot sensation, talkin’ ‘bout some of the crunkest column-busting you’re gonna see, “The Flipside of Pop Culture.” Tyler: Yeah, that’s right. I wanna give a what’s up to my boys in the Film Department, Jeff Smith, B.P., Dick Chaps, that lady secretary, yeah, you know what I’m talkin’ about. What up. DJ: Hear that, root-respecting. So .22, I wanna talk about this column you dropped last week— Tyler: Yeah, yeah. DJ: —we got some real hate being spread around here, talkin’ ‘bout Mark McGwire … Hootie … the King of Pop, Michael Jackson! It’s looking like you’re not afraid to roll beef with some real heavy-hitters. Tyler: Well, y’know, man, I just speak it how I speak it, I gotta say what I see. DJ: Can’t argue with that, but are you getting at all concerned that there may be some sort of verbal retaliation from … well, as you’re saying, “Hootie, Big Mac, King of Pop.” Tyler: Man, they can all bring that on. What you gonna say? “Oh, Double-Double can’t hit 70, .22 can’t sing about no damn Tendercrisp sandwich.” Shit. Mark McGwire wants to bring on the future, I’ll bust out the past on his ass-injecting ass. DJ: You’re not worried at all about alienating fans? Tyler: Man, what am I gonna do, start playing to a bunch of low-rent bastards? Givin’ a damn about, what, Burger King? Forget that. I’m gonna drop science so long as things stay scientiﬁc. I got my people back here, this my point-man, Matt Simon’— Matt: What up. DJ: Cadenza editor, Matt Simonton— Tyler: We got my girl, straight-up, Li’l Vilines— Laura: Yeah! Tyler: Yeah, I think we got Ryan Adams back there … man, we gotta lotta people up in here. We hittin’ the club later. John Mayer: Hit the club! Tyler: Haha, yeah, man. Pass me that PBR. DJ: .22, we actually just got a call … well, I can see Matt’s cell phone is ringing. Matt (to phone): Yo, Simon. Yeah … yeah, yeah… Tyler: Y’know, I wanna drop hellos to my main feline, Stewie the neighborhood pimp-cat … my roommates be feedin’ him and shit while I’m here, you know, takin’ care of my boy. DJ: We got a call— Matt: Hey, y’all, man, we gotta roll. Tyler: Wha? DJ: We, uh, well, it seems that there actually … Jeff Tweedy, out of Wilco, is actually on our cross-town station right now, saying some things about you that apparently aren’t very complimentary. Tyler: Aw, man, now this is some bullshit. Matt: Man, he is calling you out! Tyler: We gotta get the hell outta here. Li’l V, get me my shit! DJ: Are you planning on confronting Jeff Tweedy? Tyler: Man, I’m gonna confront f’real, moth’fucker. (to Laura) Yeah, thanks. (to DJ) Yeah, you see this? This is what I’m meaning, you can’t be all goin’ out, sayin’ things, sayin’ nonsense and think I ain’t gonna hear. Tweedy’s ‘bout to hear about the meaning of .22. DJ: Well, we— Tyler: Yo, Adams, get me a cab, man! Cincinnati! DJ: Well … well, that was .22 Weav, um, and, uh, we’re hoping this sort of thing doesn’t escalate. We don’t need any more victims in this game. Absolutely. Here’s 50 Cent, with “Gunz Come Out.”

8 STUDENT LIFE | CADENZA

Cadenza Editor / Matt Simonton / cadenza@studlife.com

FRIDAY | MARCH 25, 2005

CADENNZ A

n. a technically brilliant sometimes improvised solo passage toward the close of a concerto, an exceptionally brilliant part of an artistic work

arts & entertainment

MUSIC Bruce Springsteen

Napoleon Dynamite

The Flaming Lips Don’t get me wrong. The Lips are a really good band. They’re also extremely fun, with an unmatched love for pageantry. That being said, animal costumes and nitrous oxide-induced ruminations on giant androids do not good music make. Yes, I’m talking about “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots,” aka “Our Midlife Acid Flashback,” which was almost everyone’s introduction to the Lips and deﬁ nitely the wrong place to start. These guys hit their peak back in ’95 with “Clouds Taste Metallic,” when they were still actually taking drugs. Now they’re probably lined up to pen the next theme song to “Reading Rainbow” or something. – MS To most college students, calling “Family Guy” overrated is akin to saying the Gospels are a bit on the preachy side. Undergrads swear by this show as they might a ﬁ rst-born child, and yet it’s little more than a super-postmodern exercise in non-sequitur humor. Yes, it’s funny, but for God’s sake, it’s not that funny. – Tyler Weaver

Family Guy

ES VI MO

Sure, it has a few memorable, quotable lines and a humorous dance scene, but that’s all “Napoleon” has going for it. The awkward high school student element was done much better in “Rushmore,” and “Napoleon” only became popular because MTV used its vast marketing effort to convince people that it actually was good. The movie is either too weird or not weird enough, and it needs to pick one side of the line to stand on. – Adam Summerville

I am from New Jersey and I hate Bruce Springsteen. And now, unfortunately, “The Boss” is back. Since his political stint with Vote For Change, it feels as if he’s everywhere these days and I feel as if I need a semi-automatic. His grating and obnoxious vocals (particularly on “Secret Garden” … ewww), his mediocre lyrics and his arrogant persona (just think of his butt on “Born in the U.S.A”) make it hard to believe that he makes Rolling Stone’s “Best Rock Performer” lists again and again. He has built a musical legacy without the proper tools—and nobody else seems to notice. Can’t you see? The emperor has no clothes and Bruce Springsteen has no talent! – Susannah Cahalan

The Postal Service

Iron and Wine’s treatment of “Such Great Heights” from the “Garden State” soundtrack has only solidiﬁed this duo’s status as one of the Great New Bands. (Of course, Sam Beam’s “I’m a gentle, bearded guy with a guitar” routine could probably make 2 Live Crew lyrics date-worthy material.) The truth is, there have been greater feats accomplished with vocals and a laptop. Dntel’s minimal beats belong in an iPod commercial, and Ben Gibbard is, well, Ben Gibbard: Even as a thirty-something with a receding hairline, he feels the need to leave his diary lying around so his crush can discover how he really feels. Admittedly, “The O.C.” has introduced some great music to the mainstream, but in this case, stop the Seth Cohen train—I wanna get off. – Matt Simonton

Garden State Is “Garden State” a good movie? Yes. Does writer/star/ director Zach Braff show promise? Yes. Does his ﬁ lm deserve all of the praise it gets? No. The movie is capably acted with Braff putting in a decent performance, and both Peter Sarsgaard and Natalie Portman contribute their best work to date. People tend to ignore the fact, however, that most of the dialogue is stilted and clichéd. There were better independent ﬁ lms released last year, but “State” seems to be the one that gets all of the glory. – AS

COMPILED BY

THE CADENZA STAFF

Entourage “The Sopranos” and “Sex and the City” are/were great shows. However, for some reason or another, they seem to be the only HBO shows in recent memory that have built a fan base (though “Deadwood” is on its way). “Entourage” is the network’s best show since “The Sopranos”’s ﬁ rst season, but its future is in jeopardy since no one watches. This truly is a shame—it is the best written and most entertaining show currently on cable. - AS

MUSIC The Decemberists

For those of us who are pop-culture junkies and sardonic bastards, “Best Week Ever” is the greatest show in the world. Occasionally the jokes fall ﬂat, but the show still usually manages to get more laughs from me than anything else on TV (aside from “Arrested Development”), mixing some of the best young comedians and comedic writers. VH1/MTV/Viacom needs to take off all the “Fabulous Life of…” and “Real World Road Rules Challenge” crap that no one cares about, show more Many would simply disregard Ween as videos and keep “Week” a dirty-joke band, and they’d likely accept as their only non-muthat title with pride. (They do, after all, have a sic focused program. song titled “Put the Coke on My Dick.”) Over the (Well, that and “Pimp course of eight studio albums, though, they’ve My Ride,” because established themselves as some of the best hookXzibit is a nawriters since the Beatles—they didn’t name one of tional treasure.) their records “White Pepper” for nothing. Not only - AS that, but their experiments with a myriad of styles— country, progressive rock and straight pop, to name a few—have all yielded phenomenal results. Ol’ Gene Ween has been known to pull off a wicked guitar solo, too, for those keeping count. Try “Even If You Don’t,” “What Deaner Was Talking About” and “Transdermal Celebration” for a sampling of their impeccable songcraft. And if you can tune out the lyrics to “L.M.L.Y.P.,” it’s a ﬁ ne piece of smoldering, Prince-style bedroom funk. (I’ll let you look up the full title yourself.) –MS

Ween

In a truly just world, all those “Fight Club” and “Office Space” posters (which deserve whole essays written about their overratedness) would be replaced with the image of Enid and Rebecca. Seriously, what the hell happened to this movie? Are we seriously still joking about “Vote for Pedro” when we could be revelling in this minor masterpiece? “Ghost World” has everything: a young Scarlett Johansson, nerdy record collectors, Thora Birch as a thrift store-rifl ing hipster, a dude with nunchucks and a bar band called Blueshammer. Plus, it’s brought to us by the awesome directorial skills of one Mr. Terry Zwigoff. Some conspiracy in heaven has obviously decided to deprive this fi lm of its deserved popularity and give it to “Super Troopers” instead. It’s not too late, people! Join the fight to save “Ghost World”’s reputation as one of the fi nest and funniest movies of our generation. At least watch it again. It speaks to all disillusioned, 21st century posthigh schoolers. And that probably includes you! -MS

ES VI MO

Best Week Ever

To be honest, nothing bad has yet been written about these whimsical tunesmiths. You could blame it on lead singer Colin Meloy’s thesaurus-slinging lyrical style, but wasn’t Morrissey overly intelligent, too? Anyway, even if Meloy keeps you reaching for your Oxford English Dictionary, his words are married to such sublime melodies that listening is like falling in love with that cute college professor. Their song “Billy Liar” is so perfect you’ll swear phrases like “’til your sinews spoil” were tailor-made for TRL. They certainly deserve one radio hit; in the very least they could take the place currently occupied in our collective memory by Harvey Danger. Remember “Flagpole Sitta”? The Decemberists have written entire albums that catchy. - MS

Ghost World

Leona Naess

Quite simply, the woman behind one of the best albums you’ve never heard—the self-titled “Leona Naess.” Lilting, richly organic, romantic rock-pop infused with soulful purpose, quite literally every song on the LP matches up with, say, classics from Joni Mitchell’s “Blue.” This is not to make a comparison between the two—there’s plenty of Joni-haters out there who would get down with some Leona— but rather to underline how great the album is by using what you’d probably consider hyperbole. It’s not. Her ﬁ rst two records—“Comatised” and “I Tried To Rock You But You Only Roll”—bear occasional pleasures of their own (the latter album’s sublime “Sunny Sunday,” in particular), but “Leona Naess” is the CD you need—NEED—to have. That Tori Amos, Damien Rice, Ryan Adams and Bright Eyes have followings and Naess doesn’t is criminal. - TW

UNDERRATED