August 29, 2007 | Student Life by Student Life

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Graduate student slain in summer tragedy

Campus card expands to oncampus stores BY PUNEET KOLLIPARA SENIOR STAFF REPORTER

DAVID HARTSTEIN | STUDENT LIFE

A memorial to Emmalee Terrell sits amidst students at work Tuesday afternoon in the law school’s Students Commons area.

BY PERRY STEIN CONTRIBUTING REPORTER Remembered by friends as genuine, charismatic and optimistic, 2007 Washington University graduate Emmalee Terrell was found dead along with her boyfriend on Monday, August 8. Terrell was to attend the University’s law school this fall. Terrell and her boyfriend of about two years, Bobby Capone, were discovered inside his home in St. John, Mo. According to Captain J.R Morris, assistant chief of the St. John Police Department, the investigation of this apparent murder-suicide is almost closed. Although the exact details of the incident have not been released, Morris said that the detectives have reached a solid conclusion of

what actually occurred. “It’s a real tragedy,” said Morris. “I feel pretty comfortable to say that this was the result of a domestic issue that took place earlier that day.” Terrell’s friends now remember her for all her good qualities. “In all my experience with undergraduates I don’t think I met anyone who gave off the same vibes as she did,” said Erica Jones, a ﬁ rst year law student at the University who met Terrell before their freshman year at the Freshman Summer Academic Program [FSAP]. “I never saw her have a bad day. She was always smiling. She would never emphasize the negative.” There is a temporary memorial set up in Terrell’s memory in the law school’s

Student Commons room that will be displayed through this week. Here, students can learn more about the scholarship and leave her and her family messages in a memory book. “I never saw her in a bad mood,” said Brandon Arrey, a ﬁ rst year law student at Washington University who also met Terrell at FSAP. “She was always upbeat.” Despite her tragic death, her friends will always remember Terrell for her positive outlook on life. “She was a very attractive person who lit up the room when she walked in,” said Anthony Grice, a friend who worked with her at the law ﬁ rm Blackwell Sanders this summer. “She had an immediate impact when she met people.”

In memory of their daughter, Terrell’s parents established the Emmalee Terrell Memorial Scholarship. The scholarship will be awarded to a law student and will help promote diversity within the school. According to Law School Associate Director of Development Christine Karsh, who is organizing the funding for the scholarship along with Vice President of the Black Law Student Association Deanna Atchley, the scholarship will be ofﬁcially announced in November and will most likely be available for a student for the 2008-09 school year. Donations to the Emmalee Terrell Memorial Scholarship can be mailed to Washington University School of Law, attention Christine Karsh.

The Washington University student ID card’s campus card account underwent an expansion this summer and now offers several new services to students. The campus card account, which was created last year to allow students to pay for laundry, vending items and printing with their ID cards, now permits students to use their ID’s to pay for items purchased at the University Bookstore, Bear Necessities, the Edison Theatre Box Office and the 560 Building. According to Paul Schimmele, assistant to the director of operations at Dining Services and a chair of the Campus Card Steering Committee (CCSC), aside from some minor technical glitches and laundry machine malfunctions, the initial expansion of the ID card and the creation of a campus card account in the fall of 2006 was a resounding success. “What we wanted to do, and the big part of our mission, was to improve campus life and that’s where we’ve really made our difference,” said Schimmele. “For the most part I’d say it was a tremendously successful program.” According to Schimmele, students now do more loads of laundry and buy more vending items than ever before, largely because of the convenience factor of not having to carry coins. At the Danforth Campus Bookstore, students have slowly begun to catch on to the new campus card feature. “A lot of people intending to pay with traditional means…are still doing so,” said Rodney Jones, assistant store director. “But we are trying to get the word out to everyone in the most efficient way possible.” Though Jones did not provide any numbers, he did say that the campus card has

been successful in the bookstore so far. “Since we’ve been letting people know, they’ve been activating their cards and it’s been working really well,” said Jones. “From talking to students, they’re very happy that they can use the card in the store.” Students agree with Jones, especially because of the card’s convenience for emergency and incidental expenses. “I think that it’s good. It makes it so that you don’t have to carry as much money around,” said Jim Stevens, a sophomore majoring in computer science and engineering. “I could just put money on it and then just in case I needed something and I didn’t have cash with me, I could use it.” “I think that it will be really useful to not have to carry cash and just be able to use it pretty much everywhere on campus,” said Sophie Cohen, a junior in the College of Arts & Sciences. “I think the bookstore will definitely be really nice, because I know there are some times when I’m on campus and I don’t have any money and want to get something quickly.” The campus card account expanded to include West Campus in the fall of 2006 and North Campus in January 2007. In late July 2007, two locations at the School of Medicine—the Lobby Ferrall Learning and Teaching Center and the Sea Shell Café in the McDonnell Science Building—also started to accept the campus card. According to Schimmele, the CCSC is considering the addition of non-food items at Bear Mart to the list of items that can be purchased with the campus card account. Currently, those items can only be purchased with cash and not with meal plans. He did not provide an exact date

See CARDS, page 3

Abortion in Missouri may be restricted to St. Louis BY ANDREA WINTER NEWS EDITOR Under a new state law, St. Louis could become the only place in the state of Missouri where abortions will be performed. The law, Missouri House Bill 1055, which was passed last spring, requires that the Planned Parenthoods in Columbia and Kansas City, Mo. halt their abortion services until costly renovations are made. Since the centers do not have the funding to make these changes, the only abortion facilities to remain open in the state would be in St. Louis. The new law was supposed to go into effect yesterday, but on Monday Federal U.S. District Judge Ortie Smith

temporarily blocked the law’s enforcement until a hearing takes place on September 10. The Planned Parenthoods of Kansas and Mid-Missouri ﬁ led a federal lawsuit last week in an attempt to strike down the new law arguing that the law infringes on the reproductive rights of women. “We believe very strongly that the legislation has nothing to do with protecting women’s health and safety but has everything to do with limiting access to abortion,” said Alison Gee, the vice president of public policy of Planned Parenthood of the St. Louis Region. The new law requires an increase in the regulation of abortion facilities, but Planned Parenthood contends

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that the new requirements for an “ambulatory surgical center” are “medically unnecessary” to the health of women. The Missouri legislature, the majority of which is prolife, maintains that the law is necessary to ensure the safety of abortions. The prospect of this new law going into effect has been on minds of some Washington University students. “Basically it’s just a sneaky way to make abortions unavailable to most of the state,” said Saskia Shuman, a recent graduate from the class of 2007. Shuman traveled to Jefferson City last year to lobby against the bill before it was passed. She pointed out that if abortions are only performed

in St. Louis, it would create undue hardship for many women who do not have the money or time to travel up to six hours for an abortion. One student organization, Students for Choice, plans to directly address this issue next week. Senior Liz Hague, the co-president of Students for Choice, said that her club will have information sheets and letters available at the student Activities Fair for students to contact representatives. “My hope is that a judge will look at it and say that this is an undue burden,” said Shuman. “Hopefully that’s pretty obvious, but you don’t know. It’s Missouri, so you never know.” The majority of Washington University students are

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not from Missouri. As a result, many students are reluctant to get involved with Missouri state politics. Hague said that it can be difficult for her to get club members engaged in these types of issues because the fi ght for reproductive rights has moved from the national level to the state level. “It’s often difficult to get students to care about in Missouri,” she said. Ariella Kahn-Lang, a senior from Boston, Mass., said that she was concerned about this new law even though she did not know that much about it. “Even though I know it’s not going to affect our lives that much because we live in St. Louis and most of us are not from Missouri, I still

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think it’s an important issue because it affects women throughout the state,” she said. Although this law speciﬁcally pertains to abortion facilities in Missouri, Gee stressed that this law should not be a concern not only to women in Missouri but all women. “Supporters of these restrictions want to cloak them with health and safety concerns yet these requirements do nothing to make what is already a safe procedure safer,” she said. “It’s part of a pretty concerted effort to shut down abortion clinics. They ﬁ gure that they cannot turn down Row, so if they close individual providers then we might have the right to an abortion but nowhere to go for one.”

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Students to face higher birth control prices BY JOSH HANTZ

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Copyright 2007 Editor in Chief: Erin Fults Executive Editor: David Brody Managing Editors: Shweta Murthi, Mallory Wilder Senior News Editor: Sam Guzik Senior Forum Editor: Nathan Everly Senior Cadenza Editor: Brian Stitt Senior Scene Editor: Felicia Baskin Senior Sports Editor: Trisha Wolf Senior Photo Editor: David Hartstein Forum Graphics Editor: Rachel Harris Information Graphics Editor: Meaghan Willard News Editors: Josh Hantz, David Song, Andrea Winter News Manager: Elizabeth Lewis Forum Editors: Tess Croner, Jill Strominger, Christian Sherden, Dennis Sweeney Cadenza Editors: Elizabeth Ochoa, David Kaminsky, Cecilia Razak, Michelle Stein Scene Editors: Lana Goldsmith, Indu Chandrasekhar Sports Editors: Andrei Berman, Unaiz Kabani, Allie Wieczorek Photo Editors: Lucy Moore, Lionel Sobehart, Jenny Shao Online Editor: Scott Bressler Design Chief: Anna Dinndorf Copy Chiefs: Willie Mendelson, Indu Chandrasekhar Copy Editors: Julia Jay, Brian Krigsher, Cecilia Razak Designers: Jamie Reed, Kate Ehrlich, Kim Yeh, Dennis Sweeney, Susan Hall

Students at Washington University and around the country will notice an increase in contraception prices this year as a result of the Deﬁcit Reduction Act (DRA) signed in 2005 by President Bush. The Act aims to cut $39 billion in federal program spending, including student loans and Medicaid. Under the Act, contraceptive prices are linked to Medicaid-related rebates that drug companies pay to the states. Discounted drug prices force those companies to make larger payments, creating the incentive for them to eliminate the discounts. Dr. Alan Glass of Student Health Services (SHS) at the University says the incentive for companies to offer discounts went away even before the Act, though. “It was a very common practice as recently as four or ﬁve years ago for pharmaceutical companies to deeply discount prices of oral contraceptives,” he said. “The logic was that if they could get students using their own brand, they would potentially stay loyal to that brand through their reproductive years. That incentive to deeply

Student Life is a publication of WUSMI and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the Washington University administration, faculty or students. All Student Life articles, photos and graphics are the property of WUSMI and may not be reproduced or published without the express written consent of the General Manager. Pictures and graphics printed in Student Life are available for purchase; e-mail editor@studlife.com for more information. Student Life reserves the right to edit all submissions for style, grammar, length and accuracy. The intent of submissions will not be altered. Student Life reserves the right not to publish all submissions. If you’d like to place an ad, please contact the Advertising Department at (314) 935-6713. If you wish to report an error or request a clarification, e-mail editor@studlife.com.

discount disappeared before DRA when oral contraception went generic. There wasn’t the same incentive for those companies to keep prices low because women could go out and buy generic brands.” Students have traditionally paid about $15 per month for contraception as opposed to the $50 retail price. Now they may pay up to four times as much. In many cases, the price increase is only taking effect now because schools stocked up on contraceptives at the lower price upon learning of the pending increase. SHS purchased contraceptives in bulk about three-and-ahalf years ago in anticipation of the price hike. “We would use the potential life (expiration date) and estimate the amount we might need,” said Glass. “We were able to keep prices low over the course of the last few years but we had to purchase new ones.” The higher prices are worrying health professionals who say higher prices will lead to more unintended pregnancies. Not only will more women stop using contraception daily, but even switching to cheaper brands can pose risks and side effects. Glass says that SHS does what

it can to keep prices low by buying through different marketing groups like the American College Health Association (ACHA) and selling them at no markup. Also, for the ﬁ rst time last year after much negotiation, SHS was able to offer optional prescription drug beneﬁts through the student health insurance plan. Before that, student coverage did not handle prescription drugs. Students, however, need to be open to using whichever contraception if appropriate for them and at the lowest price. Oral contraception and the NuvaRing, a sort of chemical diaphragm, have been affected most by the changes. Students can still get condoms for free through many student and University groups. The alternative to students paying higher prices is to give up privacy by having their parents add them to their insurance plans, but this puts them in an awkward situation. About 40 percent of sexually active women say they use pills and other types of birth control, according to a 2006 ACHA survey of more than 23,000 students. The survey also shows that twothirds of students were sexually active in the past 12 months.

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY LIONEL SOBEHART | STUDENT LIFE

Several types of birth control are increasing in price.

Old Price New Price Percent (last 12 months) Increase

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WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

Percentage of female students in biomedical engineering rises BY DAVID SONG NEWS EDITOR The percentage of female freshmen at Washington University who have expressed interest in biomedical engineering (BME) as a prospective major continues to increase. For this year’s incoming class of freshmen engineers, the ratio of female to male students is markedly higher in that discipline than any other. “The number we have is that 84 students of the incoming class have declared an interest in biomedical engineering, with 230 students in the [entire] freshman class,” said Nick Benassi, assistant dean for public relations in engineering communications. That percentage of female students seeking to major in BME, said Benassi, is indicative of a trend at the University.

“It’s not the highest percentage in the country, but it is a high ratio. There’s always been a fairly strong percentage, and it has increased slightly over the years,” he said. According to data from this Monday, 68 of the 229 incoming freshman engineers are female; 31—close to 50%—of those female freshmen have expressed interest in BME. Thirty-eight percent of BME freshmen are female. In comparison, the percentage of female freshmen is approximately 10% in mechanical engineering, 25% in computer science, 30% in computer engineering and around one-third in the undecided category. Chris Kroger, associate dean for students in the college of engineering noted, however, that the precise ﬁ gures remained in some degree

of fluctuation. “We still have some movement around, and we’re still catching up,” said Kroger. Kroger also predicted, however, that the percentage of female engineers would rise with future classes. “We’ve seen a strong contingent of females in BME and chemical engineering. I think there’s every indication that it’ll continue and no reason to think that it won’t.” Kroger suggested that female students seemed to possess interest in the widespread set of disciplines associated with BME, and also referred to nationwide fi gures on college campuses. “BME captures chemistry, biology, physics and mathematics. More women now are going to college than men, and that may play into [fi gures],” said Kroger.

CARDS v FROM PAGE 1 when the feature might become available. Schimmele also addressed the recent 25-cent increase in the price of all laundry services and the increase in vending prices, saying that the increase was originally supposed to occur one year

ago. But with the addition of the campus card system last fall, the laundry and snack vendors postponed their price increases until the summer of 2007. The CCSC now plans to monitor the new additions for the next few months to make

sure that they work properly before considering adding any more services. Students can activate their campus card accounts by logging into WebSTAC, clicking on “Campus Card,” clicking on “Laundry, Vending, & Printing.”

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WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

Student creates Facebook application BY ELIZABETH LEWIS NEWS MANAGER If you’ve ever wondered who created Graffiti, the wildly popular Facebook application that allows users to doodle on friends’ walls, look no further than this campus. His name is Ted Suzman, and he’s a junior right here at Washington University. Suzman, who justifiably wants to switch his major from biomedical engineering to computer science, works together with an entrepreneurial team, which includes his brother Mark and friend Tim. Last summer, Suzman and his team worked on a network that they called Artwall that had a feature allowing the user to draw on other people’s profiles. When Facebook later announced that they were launch-

LOCAL Researcher’s child dies in parked car The seven-month-old child of Washington University researcher Russell Knutsen and pediatrician Beth Ann Kozel died early Thursday afternoon after being left in a parked car at the School of Medicine for more than four hours. Passersby found the girl, named Sophia, at approximately 12:50

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ing a platform to allow people to build applications on Facebook, his friends and he saw the potential opportunity to add this drawing feature to Facebook. “We programmed it over Memorial Day weekend and launched it that Monday,” said Suzman. “I was sitting in my room...for 40 hour stretches working on it.” His team and he shared the work in developing the application and each worked toward their strengths. “For Grafﬁti, I guess I was the only one who did the programming work, but there was plenty of work for all of us,” said Suzman. “We make all of our decisions by consensus. It works out well.” Since it’s launch, the users of Grafﬁti have grown exponentially. “People seem to really like

it,” he said. “They enjoy it. It’s a fun thing, it’s a communication tool. People use it for all sorts of different purposes. There are actually artists who have come on and have done some really amazing work.” Kristina McKay, a senior who has used Grafﬁti, said it is a fun way to communicate on Facebook and is more creative than a message or a wall post. While Suzman said that 1,500 users add the application per hour today on average, at peak this number was 6,0007,000 per hour. Knowing that almost seven million people use it today, Suzman related an interesting fact. “About 1/1,000 people in the world use it,” he said. “That kind of hit me.” To keep up with his rapidly growing application, Suzman has had to make some adjust-

ments that haven’t allowed him much time to sit back and pat himself and his team on the back as most would. Suzman has also been busy working on new developments for Grafﬁti, one of which is a gallery feature where users can view the artwork of others. “There are so many artists on there,” he said. “One thing we want to do is launch a public gallery where people can submit work that they’ve done and then all the users that come and look at the gallery will be able to vote and if a work gets enough votes, it will start moving up towards the top.” Junior Madhavi Probhakar praised the idea. “That’s a really cool development,” she said. “I don’t use Grafﬁti that often, but people I know have shown me their friends’ artwork. They look like

professional pieces of art.” Beyond Graffiti, Suzman has been working on another application for the past few weeks which he will not divulge. “It’s so rabidly competitive out there that if somebody learned what we were doing they would jump on it and try to do it first,” he said. However, he does make one promise: “People at Wash. U. will be the first to know,” he said. His new application is in line with his opinion of where Facebook is going. “Right now, [Facebook] is a fun tool that people use a lot,” he said. “I see it as becoming a lot more fundamental and actually being a major change in the way people work together and how people meet each other. I think eventually, it will increase social capital, which is the connections between people and

the value that those connections create. People are more likely of help to a stranger if there is a lot of social capital around just because people are tighter as a community. And I think Facebook will help with that.” In order to devote more time to his entrepreneurial ambitions, Suzman has become a part-time student. While his and his team’s ﬁrst concern is building applications for Facebook, he does have business ambitions of developing a team of programmers. “We’re all about building great applications and the business goals are secondary,” he said. “[However], we do want to have a team building applications. If there’s any really good programmers out there looking for a job, they should give me a yell.”

p.m. and CPR failed to revive her. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, he child was left in the car as a result of a misunderstanding between the two parents regarding who was responsible for bringing her to daycare that day.

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Bottled water comes from the tap Pepsico, the maker of Aquaﬁ na bottled water, has disclosed that its product comes from the same source as tap water: the Missouri River. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the bottled water costs $1.25 for a 20-ounce bottle, while residents of St. Louis can buy 10 gallons of the same water for

NATIONAL Attorney General Gonzales resigns Attorney General Alberto Gonzales unexpectedly announced his resignation on Monday; Gonzales offered no explanation for the timing of his actions. Gonzales’ tenure as Attorney General has been mired by controversy and many have called for his resignation in the past. According to the New York Times, some lawmakers and department ofﬁcials have speculated that the unexpected nature of Gonzales’ resignation is a sign that he had been pressured by

Idaho Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) said at a press conference that he regretted pleading guilty to charges in connection to an incident in an airport bathroom this summer. Craig offered no explanation for the charges, which were made in early August; an undercover policeman investigating complaints of sexual activity in the bathroom arrested Craig for disorderly conduct. Senate Republican leadership has called

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WORLD Castro essay criticizes presidential candidates An essay attributed to Fidel Castro was published Tuesday accusing U.S. presidential candidates of “submission” to exiled Cubans in Florida. Castro wrote that the candidates are “are totally absorbed by the Florida adventure,” referring to Cubans who had ﬂed to the U.S. to reside in Florida. The column, published in the Communist Party newspaper Granma,

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STAFF EDITORIAL

Boycott the U.S. News College Rankings R

ecently, the U.S. News and World Report magazine released its annual college rankings list, titled “America’s Best Colleges.” As always, the rankings elicit plenty of national attention due to the inﬂuence they command among prospective freshmen looking at colleges. This year Wash. U. ranked 12th. But recently, the rankings have been part of a controversy that reﬂects an enormously complicated issue. On one hand, it is undeniable that some colleges and universities are better than others, and prospective freshmen have the right to use any resources which would help them make an informed decision about where to attend. Unfortunately, there is a slowgrowing consensus among many colleges that some of the evaluation methods of the U.S. News and World Report are questionable at best and inaccurate at worst. Already, a collection of 64 colleges and universities has signed a letter declaring their intentions to boycott the rankings. Why? Because the rankings “imply a false precision and authority that is not

warranted by the data they use.” After reviewing the rankings’ methodology, we have come to agree with this assessment. As a result, we ask that Washington University join this boycott of the U.S. News and World Report college rankings. An issue with the rankings is its methodology for measuring the educational quality of colleges and universities. Of a college’s final ranking, 25 percent is determined by its peer assessment score, an arbitrary assessment that asks presidents, provosts and deans of admission to rank their peer institutions’ academic programs on a scale of one to five. For engineering and business schools, the peer assessment score comprises 100 percent of their ranking. To make this process even more subjective, only 51 percent of the 4,269 people who were asked to fill out the peer assessment questionnaires for this year’s rankings actually did so. Another questionable part of the U.S. News rankings methodology is its faculty resources assessment, a score that is based in large part on average faculty salaries.

None of this is to say that these measures are entirely useless; it’s just that they’re not the best way to evaluate a school’s overall quality. As the Washington Monthly puts it, the U.S. News and World Report’s methodology for determining a college’s overall quality is akin to “assessing the quality of restaurants based on the effectiveness of their advertising and how much they spend on linen.” This is where Washington University can enter the scene. The reason why the U.S. News and World Report has resisted any substantive reforms thus far is because it has never faced a strong challenge from colleges and universities. The recent boycott effort is certainly the strongest challenge to date, but its support has been limited primarily to schools which are ranked in the “Liberal Arts Colleges” section of the U.S. News college rankings. As of yet, there has not been a single high-ranking college from the “National University” section to sign on to the boycott. Support from these schools is critical because their status as large, research-oriented universities gives them a high amount of

Wednesday: Jill Strominger Friday: Tess Croner jlstromi@artsci.wustl.edu tacroner@wustl.edu

clout and influence within the field of higher education. Without it, any efforts to reform the U.S. News college rankings will likely fail. Therefore, if Washington University has any interest in assisting these reforms, it can do so by boycotting the U.S. News and World Report college rankings. This can be done in two ways. First, the administration must refuse to fill out the peer assessment forms from U.S. News. Second, the University must pledge to withhold any mention of its own U.S. News ranking in any promotional materials and admissions mailings. These two actions will not harm Washington University in any significant way, but they will send an important message to others that the school is willing to help instigate some badly needed reforms even though it has clearly benefited from the rankings. Such a decision should surely not be made lightly, but principle alone should guide the administration to the right decision. It’s time to boycott the U.S. News and World Report rankings.

SAM WASHBURN | EDITORIAL CARTOON

Support Cervantes Free University

ou know how every Bauer’s attempt to offer free now and then education is revolutionary. someone comes Though education is the up with an idea main gateway for individual to change the world? For and societal advancement, it instance, maybe a “Pay it is also a good that currently forward” sort of gimmick must be purchased, and or a recycling program. as such, is often restricted And everyone else says only to those whose families it’s crazy, that it will never are already economically work. But, because there advanced. This type of cycle are still people out there creates a society of people who believe in fighting for whose fate is limited by the their ideals, somehow these situation they are born into, things end up astounding which renders a society of everybody. We’re largely apathetic in the middle of people. However, something like institutions that atthat right now as tempt to rectify this the Wash. U. cominequality provide munity watches the hope and incenall the struggles tives people need to and triumphs of work against their Dr. Jerome Bauer’s seemingly necessary Cervantes Free fate. Jill Strominger University (CFU) Professor Bauer from a distance. hopes that his idea Some people of free education believe the man has gone will spread. According to completely insane and Bauer, the main goal of CFU others just don’t think it’s is to set a good example feasible—that the harsh ecoand to create a network that nomic realities of life itself could easily be replicated by will bring the experiment anyone else who wanted to toppling down. But, maybe, start a similar group. “We’re we just need to believe. And hoping this will catch on maybe, Washington Uniand every University comversity should take a deep munity will have something breath, and then get full like this.” force behind Bauer’s project. Bauer hopes that Wash. After having his lecturing U. will support his endeavor position in the Religious and CFU could be a sort of Studies department supposextension of the Univeredly eliminated in favor of a sity. With Wash. U. support tenure-track position amidst student protest, Professor Bauer began attempting a rare feat in today’s educational world: offering students free college courses. Right now, Bauer’s work with CFU is in experimental stages. Bauer says that “we’ll just see how it goes because students could be rewarded this is something different for their studies with credit, and something that hasn’t and CFU could gain a type really been tried before,” but of credibility that might alas his colleagues have been telling him, “it’s so crazy, it’s low other institutions to fi nd a meaning of the success gonna work.” of CFU students. Because Currently CFU offers CFU is not a university and courses ranging from some cannot offer college degrees, of Professor Bauer’s specialit wouldn’t become a threat ties in Religious Studies to to Wash. U. or decrease courses in business. Bauer students’ desire to attend says the goal of the UniverWash. U. as opposed to CFU. sity is essentially to “bring “I don’t really see this as people together” and allow professors to really use their incompatible [with Wash. U.] talents to enrich their combecause they’re a business and want to make a buck. I munities. don’t see anything we’re doUnlike other Universiing as hurting Washington ties, CFU professors provide University,” said Bauer. classes at “Yoga Center So, why doesn’t Wash. U. Rates” requiring $5.00 consider offering some type minimum admission, but of support to CFU? Yeah, asking for people to pay I know Wash. U. just fi red according to their fi nancial Bauer and doesn’t have an ability. This sort of set-up incredible relationship with should allow the professors to make enough money to the man. Still, if something like CFU was successful and survive. Bauer explains that did catch on, it could change he “probably should be able to make at least as much the landscape of education money as [he] would get with in the United States and help advance our entire society. unemployment compensation” and that he thinks As a school, we’ll only get so many opportunities to “pay such a set up is fi nancially it forward,” and most of feasible. them require more sacrifice The payment plan is than would be necessary to unique in that it allows all support something like CFU. economic classes of society Why not, for once, really to access a type of teaching engage the resources of this that is usually reserved for school toward making a real only the richer members difference in education? of society. Bauer says he’d like for CFU “to be a way students from other UniverJill is a junior in Arts & sities can experience what Sciences and a Forum editor. Wash. U. faculty do.” In a world where the She can be reached via e-mail at forum@studlife.com. highest caliber education is reserved for only a small percentage of society,

“So, why doesn’t Wash. U. consider offering some type of support to CFU?”

CORRECTIONS v

An article in the Monday, August 27 issue (“CCTV added to dorms”) was incorrectly attributed to Sam Guzik. The author was, in fact, Brittany Farb, Staff Reporter.

A headline in the Monday, August 27 issue incorrectly referred to Matthew Malten as the vice chancellor for sustainability. He is, in fact, the assistant vice chancellor for sustainability.

In Cadenza, in the Monday, August 27 issue the song on Ludo’s self-titled album was incorrectly labeled as “Good Will Hunt By Myself.” It is actually “Good Will Hunting By Myself.” Student Life regrets these errors.

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Student Life welcomes letters to the editor and op-ed submissions from readers.

Editorials are written by the Forum editors and reflect the consensus of the editorial board. The editorial board operates independently of the newsroom.

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Senior Forum Editor / Nathan Everly / forum@studlife.com

WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

STUDENT LIFE | FORUM

The last resort B

ack in the days of the Cold War when, as I understand, people were under constant threat of an invasion by malicious communists, my grandpa, rather than bracing himself for whatever riotous pillaging, hosing and philandering would take place after the influx, instead bought this log cabin Dennis out in the woods in a place nobody could fi nd and called it “The Last Resort.” It was stocked with K-Rations (canned food made especially for such end-of-theworld experiences—enough to survive for 30 days), fi rewood and not much else.

He would, every gibbous moon or so, schlep his way out to the cabin and spend the night to keep it in shape, I imagine, and to make sure it continued to be prepared for the destruction of the world as he knew it. Besides this story having a lot entertainment Sweeney of value in and of itself—get the play on words? “The Last Resort?” —it also has a moral that I can see for us at Washington University in St. Louis. The morals stem from the vivid contrast between the utter solitude of my grandpa

being in an obscure spot in the woods, which not even my grandma could ﬁ nd, and the total, unending social experience we have at college. Yes, I do think that it is possible to be lonely, quite lonely in fact, even when surrounded by what seems like an endless supply of students your age and of your interests. But, the idea of staying in a locale where literally no one can ﬁ nd you and with no way of contacting anyone in the world without using your own two legs to travel to them is a whole other story. People would say that it’s just not practical. People would say that it’s stupid. People might even say that it’s just not practical and it’s stu-

pid. All of which might be the case. But, what I mean to say is that we have lost or forgotten the virtue of being alone; or, rather, the concept doesn’t even really exist anymore. And I think it takes a way from us the opportunity to think about our lives. I might be the only one who feels this way, but because I haven’t spent much time without some kind of connective resource around, I haven’t ever really sat down and thought about what I want to do with my life, or even what I want to major in. If I don’t ﬁgure it out soon, all my “decisions” will have just been fallen into rather than actually made. But honestly, it’s hard to even think of somewhere to go

where you’re not going to be totally inundated by people and information. Even where there aren’t real people, there are distractions too attractive to ignore. Even when you’re in your room alone, there’s Facebook, there’s schoolwork, there’s music. (And there’s always the ignoble cell phone. Great invention, but it’s pretty weird to always be reachable.) It’s really hard just to think unpolluted thoughts even in this situation. My conclusion is that campus, and anywhere you ever have your cell phone, is not the right place to ﬁgure out what’s going on with your life. I don’t think that all of us hiking out to remote huts once a month is an excellent idea,

but I do think that spending some time totally disconnected from the social network would be. Maybe a walk is a good idea. Maybe laying on that hill in front of the art museum for a while. I’m not quite sure. But to give yourself some time every once in a while where your only companion is yourself is probably somewhat necessary for a healthy life, and even more, it is a way to sort out your thoughts and honestly consider what you’re doing and what you will do. Which, I think, most of us don’t do enough. Dennis is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences and a Forum editor. He can be reached via email at sweeney@wustl.edu.

Ghosts of WU (and me) BY TRICIA WITTIG STAFF COLUMNIST

o, if anyone actually understands the corny title reference to a littleknown song by the hasbeen boy band BBMak, please see me after reading this. We’ll be great friends. Bad nineties pop music aside, we can stick with the status quo (High School Musical, anyone?) and talk about what’s on everyone’s mind. No, not sex. Summers. Congratulations for saving small children from AIDS in Africa or for successfully abating the concerns of whining constituents from an office in D.C. You are now prepared to step back onto the lovely sidewalks of WU to fi ll the places that have been quite vacant in the absence of a majority of the student body. As everyone was off doing his/her summer thing, I was left here in the Office of Undergraduate Admissions with the somewhat daunting task of convincing prospective students and their families that YOU really do exist. And despite my mad tour skills, it was quite the trick pretending that there were about 50 chattering students peppering the quad as I trekked backwards through its empty walkways. My pre-law self did appreciate the persuasive practice, however. And unless Brookings recently instilled a school uniform requirement, I don’t think that even I could have passed off the top care workers as Wash. U. undergrads. Whispers Café, sans coffee line but not empty seats, just does not feel the same. Except for the few brave souls who stuck it out for the summer school terms, Mallinckrodt Student Center was without one essential: the students. Truth be told, at the end of the day, I kind of missed seeing both the familiar and not-so-familiar

faces. There is more of a point to this than the somewhat sentimental and thoroughly random ramblings about my summer, however. First of all, I think that there are some genuinely useful lessons to be learned from the suggestions of prospective students. If the course listings book were controlled by the considerations of these bright, young, aspiring Bears, the University College would soon be offering Intro to Crunk Music. Other stimulating courses may include an Art School class involving a close analysis of the Bunny’s resemblance to the beloved cartoon character Bullwinkle. Sign me up! Secondly, it’s a scary thought to think that we current students had at one time the exuberance and ambition of zealous college-seekers. Now, I didn’t make it any further than AP Calculus, but there must be some sort of equation for the exponential demise in energy that occurs between senior year of high school and college graduation. Perhaps it begins with bitterness about the various paper cuts one receives after gazing at acceptance letters for days in a row just to make sure that you are, indeed, admitted. Or, maybe it has something to do with the caffeine tolerance that is gradually built throughout the four-year experience. Regardless of the cause, there is also the one realization we hesitate to admit: as we return each fall, we are one year older and maybe just a little bit more mature. Unfortunately, age generally comes with a reluctance to enjoy loud music and trendy fashions. Before you bust out the Geritol, though, read just a few inches further. For seniors in high school, making the nationwide tour of college campuses is deﬁ nitely the cool thing to do. And you are sitting there roll-

RACHEL HARRIS | STUDENT LIFE

ing your eyes at me because I am in college…and writing an article on Wash. U. when I really should be concerned about championing any given political cause and saving the world with my activism. (I bet you wouldn’t say that if you knew Fox News is my homepage and I have Ann Coulter bed sheets.

Just kidding. Maybe.) So as you kick start the school year with the back-toschool shopping sales, try not to let the embittered old-age attitudes get to you. Since I can’t necessarily say it’s good to be back home, I will say that it is good to have home back to me. Since I will now continue

Unethical ownership: Morality in the financial marketplace BY JOSH MALINA STAFF COLUMNIST

very day, the huge computers of the biggest financial giants in the world, under the direction of their multi-million dollar earning, billion-dollar investing Wharton-educated money managers, demand the buying and selling of millions of shares of stock, bonds and other financially traded assets, exploiting the inefficiencies of the market or just riding a successful play to the top. When it comes to a good deal, these “institutional investors” follow a narrow set of criteria to choose their next big buy: price-to-earnings ratios, cash flows, alphas, betas and other specifically selected statistics that should spell success on the exchange. But they are almost always amoral considerations. Traditionally, ethical investment is not correlated with financial success. Many

times, it is the “unethical” companies that do especially well, and a financial advisor or money manager may target these investments based specifically on the idea that what the bad companies do is often very profitable, or reversely, that the bad companies are those most willing to take morally questionable action to find success. Unfortunately, it is not the investment banks or brokerage houses’ money being used in such shady investments. With either a college savings plan, pension fund or retirement package that invests in the stock market, it is members of the general public who are financially responsible, which begs an important question about accountability: how is the student, the teacher, the retiree helping the world crap on itself through their gift trusts, money markets and amateur stock picks? And also, why is this important? The first question is easy

to answer. Personally, I have many morally questionable financial positions. As a shareholder for the American Century Gift trust, a mutual fund given to me by my grandmother which I can’t touch for a few decades, I own Monsanto Company. An agribusiness giant headquartered in St. Louis, it has been responsible for the production of Agent Orange (the chemical used to clear forests in Vietnam which later caused ill effects on soldiers stationed there), and it is now accused of helping to create a monoculture of plant life, stifling genetic diversity and holding poor farmers captive to the monopolized price of their patented seeds. By investing in such a company, I am its part owner and so I am partially responsible for its corporate debauchery. Or there’s General Electric, the large value behemoth I’ve had since my Bar Mitzvah, which makes weapons that kill people. Or the

government bonds I’ve held for the past decade, which fund an administration responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians. The bonds can be cashed in, and the General Electric equity position sold right away, but the gift trust is here to stay, and with large money managers’ ears more sympathetic to the concerns of institutional investors or larger personal investors, it would be almost impossible to get Monsanto taken off that long list of positions evaluated not for their moral integrity but for their profit making potential, even if certain ethical lines are crossed in the process. Josh is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at joshuamalina@gmail.com.

to lead tours through the student-laden campus, I ask that you just please not trip me as I pass by; I also extend heartfelt gratitude and apologies to the residents of Lien 1 who will have the pleasure of meeting both me and my tours on a regular basis. So, whether it is round one or round four, wel-

come back to WU. We missed you. Tricia is a junior in Arts & Sciences. She can be reached via e-mail at pwittig@wustl. edu.

Just the Facts In light of the recent announcement that Student Technology Services will increase the price of residential Internet access to $240 per semester beginning in January 2008, what other fees are being planned by Washington University this year?

◆

Bon Appetit will now charge students for any strawberry tops it adds to smoothies prepared in Hilltop Bakery and Ursa’s Café.

◆

Toll booths will be installed at the entrances to Wydown Boulevard and Snow Way Drive as part of a long-term plan to charge students for driving on university property.

◆

Prospective freshmen will now be billed by the Washington University admissions office for receiving any mass mailings of University brochures.

◆

Administrators must now pay an annual fee for the privilege of adding “vice chancellor” to their official titles.

5. ◆

All construction workers on campus must now buy special engineering school-approved hard hats. -compiled by Nathan Everly

Senior Sports Editor / Trisha Wolf / sports@studlife.com

STUDENT LIFE | SPORTS

WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

SPORTS PREVIEW

Coach says football is ready to bear down BY ALLIE WIECZOREK SPORTS EDITOR The Washington University football squad is ready to beat last year’s 6-4 record this

season. With strong returning seniors and other upperclassmen, as well as a promising new group of freshmen, a UAA championship just might be in the cards.

SCOTT BRESSLER | STUDENT LIFE

Freshman Todd Palmer watches a practice from the sidelines.

Head Coach Larry Kindbom, after 18 years at Wash. U., said he has been employing the war philosophies of Sun Tzu with this particular team. “Champions win the battles,” he said, “and then they go to war.” According to Kindbom, the Bears are ready for war. “They’ve been so good at the prep stage that it’s hard to believe they won’t take it to the next level,” he said. “Practices are intense and it takes a lot to get through them.” With such a large group, competition for playing time is stiff for the new freshmen. Kindbom said they are a “very talented, very spirited group” and a few will contribute early on with special teams. None of them, however, will be starting on offense or defense. While they have shown a lot of talent and promise in practice, the coach said it will be interesting to see how that translates on the ﬁeld, against other teams. Kindbom said that the freshmen have especially contributed to the team by helping get the older players ready for their younger and faster opponents. In terms of the transition and the loss of recent graduates, Kindbom chooses not to focus on the past. “Each team develops its own identity, its own chemistry,” he said. “I don’t think there’s a need to look to the past.” He said that it is enough to have to worry and think about everyone who has not

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graduated yet. “I’m just so engrossed in the people that are here right now,” said Kindbom. Kindbom stressed the fact that every member of the team is a role player in his own way. He suggested that the guy who gets a lot of tackles in a game is just as important as the guy on the sideline cheering. He spoke speciﬁcally about a player who graduated two years ago whose major contribution to the program was his renditions of ‘Nsync songs from the bench. Kindbom said he does not expect any more from all-conference athletes like senior Captain Mike Elliott and senior Tyler McSparin than he does from the rest of the team. Kindbom will be relying heavily on the talent and spirit of his upperclassmen players, especially the captains. He stressed the importance of having playmakers like offensive lineman and Captain Scott Reigle, defensive backs senior Evan Mayer and junior Tommy Bawden, the defensive line triumvirate of seniors Charlie Machan, Bob Pine and Chris Rhodes, the aforementioned linebackers Elliott and McSparin, and the tight end duo of seniors Jeff Howenstein, a captain, and Dan Liebetreu, a pair Kindbom called “as a good a tandem as we have had here.” Kindbom certainly sings the praises of captains Elliott, Howenstein and Reigle. “They are awesome individuals,” he said. “They all

add something a little bit different.” He said they are all outstanding leaders and outstanding football players, the latter of which is especially nice because it is hardly a requisite to be captain. Kindbom also emphasized that all three captains “like to have fun” and “express themselves on the ﬁeld.” Although the coach makes it clear that this team has potential to succeed this season, there is one possible downfall. “We have a lot of talent,” said Kindbom, “but not the experience depth we’ve had in the past.” Still, he acknowledges that the team “ups the practice level every day” and that they are “on track to get where [they] need to be.” Kindbom predicts that some unexpected people will step up and become role players at the start of the season and the spirit of the freshmen will also work in the team’s favor. “I hope the young guys will give us an enthusiasm base,” he said. “They have so far, but I hope they will after classes start.” Kindbom and the rest of the team is looking forward to taking the ﬁeld this Saturday, September 1, especially because it is a night game. “I’m hoping we can pack the stadium,” Coach Kindbom said. The season opener is against Lake Forest College at 6 p.m. on Saturday at Francis Field.

Home schedule (all games played on Saturdays) September 1 6 p.m. vs. Lake Forest College

September 15 Noon vs. Wheaton College

September 29 1 p.m. vs. Rhodes College

October 6 1 p.m. vs. LaGrange College

October 13 Noon vs. University of Chicago

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Senior Cadenza Editor / Brian Stitt / cadenza@studlife.com

WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

STUDENT LIFE | CADENZA

n. a technically brilliant, sometimes improvised solo

CADEN Z A

passage toward the close of a concerto, an exceptionally brilliant part of an artistic work

arts & entertainment

Indecent and deviant: Pre-Hays Code ﬁlms you should see

BY DANIEL P. HAUESSER CADENZA REPORTER At the dawn of motion pictures, directors had few restrictions on the subjects they were allowed to fi lm. Raciness in the silent era extends from tranquil bathing scenes featuring naked leading ladies to the intense violence of early Cecil B. DeMille epics, or the exotic, erotic indigene dances found within some remote jungle. The advent of ‘talkies,’ coupled with a string of sex-and-drug-laden celebrity scandals, made such overt portrayals of indecency appear dangerous to society. Public outcries to ban ‘immoral’ fi lms and preliminary motions by the government to censure motion pictures led studios to voluntarily implement a series of production guidelines outlining what was acceptable to include in a fi lm for the public. These guidelines, known as the Hays Code, were adopted in 1930, but were not vigorously enforced until 1934. Once Code enforcement began, the question arose of what to do with earlier fi lms that contained ‘indecent’ elements. Many fi lms, such as the Marx Brother’s “Animal Crackers,” were edited to remove risqué moments and their original versions are now lost. Others, such as “The Maltese Falcon” were simply remade (in that case to remove nudity and homosexuality). Luckily, some fi lms have had their edited portions restored, such as “King Kong.” However, many fi lms couldn’t conform to the code because their inherent

subject matter was taboo. Banned from public display, these Pre-Code ﬁ lms were often forgotten, despite being excellent movies. Here is a partial list of some important Pre-Code ﬁ lms that are well-worth seeing:

1) “Little Caesar” (1931) and “The Public Enemy” (1931) These are the archetypical gangster ﬁ lms. Featured heavily on “The Sopranos”, “Little Caesar” follows the rise and fall of crime boss Rico Bandello (the suspected inspiration for federal RICO statutes). “The Public Enemy,” a ﬁ lm about prohibition-era criminality, is famous for the misogynistic grapefruit-in-the-face scene between Cagney and Mae Clarke. The frank portrayal of the violence and depravity of these gangsters was not possible after Code enforcement.

sent to boarding school and begins a romantic infatuation with one of her teachers. The tense undertones of lesbianism rise to the surface in ways now considered tame, but its positive outlook on lesbian relations made it a strong target of censorship. “Ecstasy” is a Czech fi lm that brought Hedy Lamarr to the attention of U.S. audiences. Even without the extended scene of a naked Lamarr, and the fi rst known shot of a female’s face during orgasm, the movie transgressed the Code with its plot of infidelity.

5) “Born to be Bad” (1934) and “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” (1931)

3) “Freaks” (1932) One of my favorite fi lms, this cult classic remains controversial today. Frequently referenced in pop-culture, “Freaks” featured a cast of actual circus sideshow performers. One controversial scene shows a kiss between a young man and his fiancée, who is a conjoined twin. As she locks lips with her fiancé, we view the other sister enjoying a flutter of erotic feelings in her ‘own’ body. The horrific, violent ending to “Freaks” is still shocking to modern audiences.

Both of these ﬁ lms feature prostitutes as main characters, a formula impossible under the Code. The ﬁ rst features a young Cary Grant as a married man who falls for a prostitute/single mother/con artist while he cares for her deviant son. The second is my favorite adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson’s tale. It features great early special effects, a strong reaction against the conservative Victorian era and symbolizes Dr. Jeykyll’s transformation into darkness in terms of sexual depravity, not just violence.

“Trouble in Paradise” is one of the great romantic com-

ALBUM REVIEW

Architecture in Helsinki: Places Like This BY KAITY LI CADENZA REPORTER Architecture in Helsinki is back with their follow-up to 2005’s “In Case We Die,” and if you hated that, you’ll hate this too. They are by no means a typical band, so if you have a hard time listening to music that sounds like a cross between the Talking Heads and muppets in space with vocals sounding like a strained Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse, then don’t even bother picking up “Places Like This.” My suitemate is exactly that type of person. “Why? I thought you liked me!” she exclaimed when I played the CD in our common room. Overall, “Places Like This” is just fun in a quirky, wacky children’s TV show way. It sounds like it’d be perfect as background music for a party, although it would have to be more of a pillow ﬁght party than a dance party. Of course it just wouldn’t be an Architecture in Helsinki album without their assortment of numerous instruments, but instead of the cacophonous mess one might expect out of the combination of a glockenspiel, a tuba and a guitar—amongst many others—it is all very pleasantly cohesive. As usual, the lyrics are solid, but they’re not really the driving point of this band. Even when they’re singing about relationships falling apart as they do in “Nothing’s Wrong,” they’re still full of poppy happiness, so it’s hard to pay attention to lines like “ripped apart by the crows and the vultures, ignore me in the parking lot I’m petriﬁed by conversation” when all you really want to do is clap your hands along with the

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edies. Its frank discussion of sexuality was impossible once the Code went into enforcement. “Bird of Paradise” is a romantic adventure about a sailor that falls in love with a Pacific island princess. The fi lm is dated now, particularly in its depiction of ‘uncivilized natives’ and its views on women. The sexuality of the characters and the fact that Dolores del Rio goes through most of the fi lm wearing little beyond a lei make this a prime example of Pre-Code ‘exotic’ adventure fi lms.

2) “Mädchen in Uniform” (1931) and “Ecstasy” (1933) 4) “Trouble in Paradise” (1932) and These are two controversial early imports from Europe. “Bird of Paradise” The German “Mädchen in Uniform” is an outstanding (1932) ﬁ lm that was only released in the U.S. due to efforts by Eleanor Roosevelt. The story is about a young girl that is

beat. Unfortunately, there is a lack of restraint in the other facets of their music on the album that hurts it the most. While affected, precious and quirky vocals are a trademark of Architecture in Helsinki, they seemed to use them more effectively and appropriately on their previous effort. Here, their histrionics are practically

Architecture in Helsinki Places Like This Rating: ★★★✬✩ Tracks to download: “Red Turned White,” “Nothing’s Wrong,” “Hold Music” For fans of: Talking Heads, I’m from Barcelona, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

See AIH, page 12

LIONEL SOBEHART | STUDENT LIFE

Chandan Khandai performs in Identity Crisis, the Amateurs annual concert, in March 2007. BY MICHELLE STEIN

“Because we love it.” The Aristocats sing only Disney music. More Fools Than Wise are chamber singers. The most unique and the best thing about the University’s a cappella scene, according to Junior Paul Kunnath, member of Amatuers, though, is “the tight knit community that has formed within and between the groups.” In the fall of the year, the a cappella groups concentrate on two things: Dormstorming and auditions. During dormstorming, the groups go around putting on miniperformances throughout the South 40, showing the underclassmen what their groups are all about. Last year, dormstorming hits included “I wanted to go to an Ivy,” based off the “Avenue Q” song “I wish I could go back to

THEATER EDITOR You’ve heard them around. They sing in the dorms. They sing in the underpass. They sing all over the campus. Washington University in St. Louis’s A Capella scene is bursting with song, and students can’t help but take notice. The school’s a cappella tradition started in 1991 with Mosaic Whispers, the oldest group on campus. The campus now has multiple groups. Most groups are co-ed, but some like Pikers and the Stereotypes are all male. Others, like Greenleafs, are all female. All of the groups have something a little unique about them. Mosaic Whispers, as previously mentioned, claims to be the ﬁ rst group on campus. The Amateurs live by their motto,

See A CAPPELLA, page 12

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WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

Trapped in the Closet Hip-hopera hits stores and TV screens BY ELIZABETH OCHOA MUSIC EDITOR Maybe you didn’t hear but while you were busy getting ready for yet another poorly planned, poorly themed, frat party, R. Kelly was changing the face of hip hop. In the summer of 2005 Kells released the beginning of his epic hip hopera “Trapped in the Closet.” Part concept album, part music video series, part pulpy/ trashy soap opera, the overarching theme of the masterpiece was cliffhangers. Each of the twelve chapters ended with a jaw dropping revelation or nail biting twist; Kells made quite clear that the last was in no way the end of the story. In fact, as the credits roll Kelly, or maybe Sylvester, or maybe the narrator shows up and tells us to keep Roxanne and Tina in mind, a tantalizing teaser ensuring much gossiping and predicting. It’s possible in the frantic days of buying cheap storage units at Target you missed what is likely the most important event of 2007: “Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13-22.” Not only does Kells continue to amaze us with his wit, rhyme skills and fantastic selection of suits, but the story also only manages to get more confusing. As all great writers have learned (from daytime television soap operas) the best way

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to keep people enthralled is with violence, lesbians and midgets (see “Passions”). Creative mixings and matchings of these core elements only make for a more fascinating final product. Ready for the next 12 chapters? Of course not. How can you even begin to prepare yourself for something so glorious only R. Kelly’s mind can produce it? He has already proven himself with hits like the “Remix to Ignition”, “Playa’s Only” and “Same Girl.” Lucky for you the next ten installments are $15.05 at Streetside Records on the Loop. If you think, incorrectly, that “Trapped in the Closet” isn’t going to be the generationaly defining work it already is, you can watch it for free at IFC.com. The next twelve chapters are just as cliffhanger-filled as the first and yet, at the same time, many burning questions are finally answered. We find out Tina and Roxanne’s relationship (note: this pun will be so much funnier when you actually see the chapter in which they appear) to the storyline. Storyline may not be the correct term; I’m no English major but I’d bet money story spirograph isn’t a term and yet that is the only phrase which fully describes the complexities of the work. We are let in on the secret of why Twan was in jail in the first place, which is oddly uninteresting, except for the blatant anachronism. More importantly, we are given new questions to ponder. It is revealed that Cathy and Sylvester were

planning on getting caught. This seems to poke a big hole in the plot of chapter one. Didn’t Sylvester sing, “How could I be so stupid to have laid here till the morning sun/…Didn’t plan to stay that long.” Sylvester, why would you lie to me? I thought we had a connection. When you looked at me from inside your closet, I felt that I too was trapped in a closet too, “a global closet,” R. Kelly called it. One of the definite highlights is the introduction of some Italian mobsters. Not particularly because of their role, which only raises more questions, but because of the actors themselves. Dominic Capone plays the mob boss, Joey. Name sounds familiar? That’s because he’s Al Capone’s great-nephew. Oh yeah, classy. The biggest shocker of all comes near the end and involves the “package.” Feel free to look it up on urbandictionary.com after you watch it if you’re confused; we were. But don’t ruin it for yourself by checking beforehand, it’s all about those cliffhangers. Overall the new chapters are worth watching, if only for the fact that Kells plays more roles than before, now billed as the narrator; Sylvester; Randolph, Rosie the Nosey Neighbor’s husband; Reverend Mosley James Evans, the reverend at the church where Rufus is the Pastor; and Pimp Lucious, the Pimp who attends church. The only real reason for Pimp Lucious is that it rhymes with Rufus. Though just as with Tina and Roxanne, I’m certain Kels will

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BY ELIZABETH OCHOA MUSIC EDITOR In order to adequately explain chapters 13 through 22 one needs to have a fairly thorough knowledge of chapters 1 through 12. Ready? The story opens with Sylvester who awakes in Mary’s bed; he quickly dresses to go home, to his wife, but Mary stops him and forces him into her closet to hide him from her husband who is coming up the stairs. Mary’s husband, Rufus, comes in and he begins to “snatch her clothes off.” Sylvester’s cell rings thus giving away the fact that he is hiding in the closet. Rufus is furious at Cathy, (oh yeah, Mary’s name is actually Cathy) and in order to even the score Rufus calls up and requests that his lover return to the house. Rufus was out all night cheating on his wife, just as she was cheating on him. The door swings open and Rufus’ lover is revealed to be Chuck, a man. Argument ensues and in order to calm the situation down Sylvester ﬁ res his Beretta into the air. Why does he have a gun you may ask? Well Beretta clearly rhymes with dresser, R. Kelly explains. Sylvester then calls home to tell his wife Gwendolyn he is on his way and a man picks up his home phone. Gwen claims, later, it was her brother, Twan, who was just released from jail, but in fact it’s her lover James, a cop, who earlier pulled Sylvester over for speeding. James returns to

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Sylvester’s house for reasons unknown and he and Sylvester wrestle over a gun which ﬁ res and hits Twan. Then Rosie the neighbor shows up with a spatula after hearing shots ﬁ red. This provokes one of the more entertaining situations in the story. Twan, holding a gun on the elderly woman, tells the rest “she’s a G, no doubt.” James, the cop, leaves for home, to return to his white, southern, pregnant wife. You may be curious so I’ll just tell you now; yes, she is barefoot. When James gets home he realizes something is wrong. He suspects his wife has been unfaithful and that her lover is still in the house. The obvious course of action is to threaten your wife with physical violence and then, after pulling her midget stripper of a boyfriend out from under the kitchen sink threaten to kill him too. So he does. The next bit makes some of the least sense in the series: Sylvester and Twan show up at James and Bridget’s house, at Bridget’s behest, with a gun. Of course, James, being a cop, also has a gun. Bridget goes upstairs to get a gun just to help calm the situation down. In the heat of the moment we learn that the self-defecating midget is a stripper because he is extremly well endowed and thus has garnered the moniker Big Man. Bridget then reveals she loves Big Man and that he is her baby’s daddy.

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manage to tie him in with the story as well. “Trapped in the Closet” is not for you if you’re easily offended by homophobic actions and rhymes. Ranging from subtle to blatant, R. Kelly can’t hide the fact that he’s not a huge fan of gay men or women. It should be noted that he allows some homosexual action to occur but he clearly states that he’s only alright with two women sleeping together because he’s into that. “Trapped in the Closet Chapters 1-12” has killer rhymes throughout but the new chapters fail to deliver lyrically. Kells’ comments that many people don’t notice the rhyming because they are so wrapped up in the story does not hold true for the new chapters. Overall, the rhyming is less skillful with larges spaces left to only the tinny synth beat. This wouldn’t be as upsetting but the beat never changes and after 47 minutes of it in the first twelve chapters alone, the genius becomes harder to appreciate. Also there are fewer forced rhymes, which is one of the characteristics that made the first twelve chapters so fun to sing along to. Sure, we’ll all still watch them 15 times. Let’s face it, drinking is better when there are stripper midgets, and ResLife makes that difficult so we’ll have to make do with Big Man. But, unlike the first 12 chapters, I can’t imagine my children ‘doing these “Trapped in the Closet Chapters,”’ as R. Kelly predicts they will. (Still no clues as to what this means.)

Chapters 1-12: A recap

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Senior Cadenza Editor / Brian Stitt / cadenza@studlife.com

WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

STUDENT LIFE | CADENZA

The Characters: Sylvester/ Narrator/ R. Kelly

Cathy

Sylvester ﬁ rst knows her as Mary, but Cathy is really the not-so devoted wife of Rufus, the pastor. She wears wigs to disguise herself in public on her many scandalous rendezvous. We later ﬁ nd that she is good friends with Sylvester’s wife and introduced her to James, now Gwen’s lover. Married to: Rufus Sleeping with: Sylvester

As the main character of “Trapped in the closet”, Sylvester is constantly wearing a suit, swearing and pulling out his gun. His tryst with Cathy gets the whole ball of wax rolling when her husband Rufus catches him, trapped in the closet. R. Kelly’s other role as the ethereal narrator makes for some confusing viewing.

Rufus James

Married to: Gwendolyn Sleeping with: Cathy

Gwendolyn

A pastor and a closeted homosexual/ bisexual, Rufus leads a very conﬂ icted life. The moment when he comes out of his own closet to his wife Gwen is the emotional highpoint of the series. But the ﬁ rst twelve chapters leave his relationships with his wife, Cathy, and his lover, Chuck, in jeopardy. Who will he choose?

James’ motives are shadowed and his methods dubious. He pulls over his lover’s husband for speeding, points a gun at Sylvester despite Gwen’s assertions that nothing is wrong, and allows Twan to pull the gun out of his holster without much protest. His wife, Bridget, is aware of his affair but has secrets of her own. His favorite kind of pie is cherry.

Sylvester’s wife is a very well-connected lady. Her friend Roxanne (a mystery woman, whose identity is revealed in the new chapters) knows Chuck, she was high school pals with Cathy and her brother Twan is Sylvester’s right hand man. Her affair with James, the cop, opens up the already crowded story considerably. She seems unable to leave her home as she is always pictured there.

Married to: Cathy Sleeping with: Chuck

Married to: Bridget Sleeping with: Gwen

Married to: Sylvester Sleeping with: James

Bridget

Twan Gwen’s brother, Twan, has just gotten out of prison and is looking to turn his life around. In the new chapter, R. Kelly reveals the reasons for his incarcration as well as his tendency to sleep during tense situations. When hit by a stray bullet, Twan brushes it off asking for merely bandages and a bathroom. Twan is single but certainly has a long list of sexual liaisons. Siblings with: Gwen Sleeping with: ???

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Rosie, the Nosey Neighbor

The only white character in the ﬁ rst series (teaser alert: more are to come in chapters 13-22), Bridget is the pregnant, southern and barefoot wife of James. Her scandalous affair with the well-endowed midget stripper, Big Man, is made only more scandalous by the fact that he is Bridget’s baby’s daddy. She and James enjoy performing kinky acts with pears and honey. She is allergic to cherries.

Rosie the Nosey Neighbor lives next to Sylvester, despite the fact that they appear to live in vastly disparate tax brackets. Her husband, Randolph, is introduced in the new chapters and plays a key part in informing the gossipy Rosie about a particularly juicy story he overheard which affects most of the characters in the story. Want to know more? Watch the new chapters and all will be revealed! (Well not all. Not most either. But some. Some will be revealed.)

Married to: James Sleeping with: Big Man

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Senior Cadenza Editor / Brian Stitt / cadenza@studlife.com

Make good choices BY CECILIA RAZAK

WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

Inter-tainment

MOVIE EDITOR Everyday we, as college students, are faced with terrible, terrible choices. Should I study, or shoot up this Elmerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s glue? Should I write a paper with this felt tipped pen or just sniff it? Yes, these dilemmas glare us in the face every single moment of our collegiate existence and the answers are as hard to squeeze forth as glue from a syringe. Fear not. There are people who can help. There are people who are sitting around, waiting for you to need help. There are people standing outside your room, with axes, ready to break down your door and give you some help. And, luckily for us, some of these people have laid down their blunt instruments to pick up â&#x20AC;&#x153;Choices,â&#x20AC;? the annual freshman orientation problem play. These are the fellow students who have been chosen â&#x20AC;&#x201D;nay, charged, Joan of Arc-likeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with the burden of teaching us the right thing to choose as we sit and ponder our school supplies. Now, of course, not all of us were lucky enough to catch both showings of this tremendous work of God-commissioned talent. In fact, many of us missed out on both. So here, just in case you somehow a) arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a freshman or b) arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a junior who really loves â&#x20AC;&#x153;Choices,â&#x20AC;? is the all important run-down of the answers to lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DAVID BRODY | STUDENT LIFE persistent quesJuniors Jonathan Baude and Sathya Sridharan perform tions:

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1) Be very wary of large auditoriums filled with freshmen. Choose: not to enter, as you may be prompted to think about other choices. 2) If someone tells you to plagiarize Choose: not to. Suggest they get help. 3) If someone tells you they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have an STD, they are lying. Choose: to meet all of their previous partners, and partners of their partners. Offer to get them help. 4) If you drink too much Choose: to drink less. Get help. 5) If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t drink Choose: to continue not to drink. 6) If you drink in moderation: Choose: not to get help. 7) If you are racist: Choose: not to be. Get help. 8) If you need help Choose: to get help. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s waiting, right outside your door.

BY WILLIE MENDELSON COPY CHIEF

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve all been to a supermarket, toy store or dollar shop and seen those â&#x20AC;&#x153;surprise bagsâ&#x20AC;? that promise, gasp, a super surprise! As kids, most of us probably begged our parents to let us buy one in hopes of finding something fun and exciting. However, after actually opening the bag, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s likely you found a piece of old gum, a kiddie trading card of some sort and maybe a piece of candy or two, but not much else. Surprise bag? More like a â&#x20AC;&#x153;lie bag.â&#x20AC;? Pretty disappointing. As any Internet-savvy individual knows, Youtube has increasingly become quite the Internet sensation. While browsing Youtube in search of a comedic video, I found that one user, using the alias Fatvids, has created some funny videos relating to surprise bags and other items reminding us of our innocent childhood, along with the disappointment that came with these types of things. As a homage to this deceptive â&#x20AC;&#x153;surpise bag,â&#x20AC;? Fatvids created a video in order to express his discontent. In the video, he goes over each item he finds in the bag and discusses, or rather angrily curses and shouts, about how none of the items is actually fun or in any way a surprise to a child. Funny and something every one of us can relate to, this video truly hits home and reminds us all of how upset we were when we, as young children, found out about the true nature of these so-called â&#x20AC;&#x153;surprise bags.â&#x20AC;? Check it out online. Enjoy!

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AIH v FROM PAGE 9 excessive. Nearly as excessive is the way the songs twist and turn and veer off in a completely different direction mid-track. While this too is a feature on many of their songs, it works better on some than others. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to enjoy â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lazyâ&#x20AC;? with its jarring and raucous mid-song breakdown of yells, whereas more could have been done to change up the uniform and repetitive keyboard lines in â&#x20AC;&#x153;Feather in a Baseball Cap.â&#x20AC;? Despite these weak points, the album does have fantastic offerings, like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Red Turns White,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hold Music,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nothingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wrong,â&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Same Old Innocence.â&#x20AC;? Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a reminder of what Architecture in Helsinki is capable of when they hit all the right notes. Funky beats and synth lines, blocky clicks, upbeat melodies, and a world of fun almost make you forget that youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve paid $15 for a 30minute CD. The album is good enough that I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind it if it came on through a random shufďŹ&#x201A;e. Maybe I would even start tapping my feet in time. But as for an album I would put on to satisfy my urge to listen to something that made me appreciate music? I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be reaching for this when that time comes. In the meantime, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll just enjoy the fun.

A CAPPELLA v FROM PAGE 9 Collegeâ&#x20AC;?. This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s auditions for a cappella are coming up this weekend, September 1 and September 2. But donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry; everyone wants the auditionee to be comfortable. According to Kunnath, the best advice is to try and relax, and just pick a song that shows off â&#x20AC;&#x153;the best qualities of your voiceâ&#x20AC;?. He stressed that â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is no pressure. Just try and have fun.â&#x20AC;? Anyone interested in auditioning for an a cappella group can either ďŹ nd their tables, visible in Mallinckrodt or Wohl Center, or email the speciďŹ c group that catches their interest. All groups have a website, complete with contact information, a blurb explaining the group, and on a few sites, links to an audition page. Auditionees can also audition for multiple groups this weekend, and see which groups ask them to come for callbacks.

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WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007

STUDENT LIFE | CLASSIFIEDS

CLASSIFIEDS FREE Classifieds

Classified ads are free to students, faculty and staff for personal use. To place your FREE 25-word ad, simply email us from your WU email account.

Classifications Help Wanted For Rent Roommates Sublet Real Estate For Sale Automotive

Wanted Services Tickets Travel Spring Break Lost & Found Personals

Line Ad Rates

Rates listed below are for businesses or individuals not affiliated with WU.

Please check your ad carefully on the first day of publication and notify Student Life of any errors. We will only be responsible for the first day’s incorrect insertion.

Deadlines

http://www.studlife.com

In order to be published, all ads must be placed and paid for by:

Don’t forget to include a contact number so we can confirm pricing & payment! • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Phone: 314.935.6713 Prefer to speak with someone? Call us to place your ad by credit card! • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Fax: 314.935.5938 Don’t forget to include a contact number so we can confirm pricing & payment!

WANTED ASSEMBLY SERIES SEEKS student to post fliers on weekend in all Danforth Campus areas. Must know campus well. Approx 5 hours per week. 935-4620. BEFORE SCHOOL CARE needed. Single Dad in Maplewood needs before school care and transport for teenage daughters. Call Steve at (314) 369-9176. CLAYTON FAMILY CHILDCARE Needed. Looking for WU Undergrad or Grad student to pick up girl at Clayton HS at 3PM then watch 3 kids at my home in Clayton until 6PM. Contact: tyler@whoistyler. com FUN JOB, FEW Hours. Start immediately! Babysit fantastic 2nd grader in great UCity Loop home! Wednesday and Thursday 3:30 - 7:00 PM. Must have car, creative personality, references. $10/hour. Call Sarah at 314-616-4145. GRADERS/TUTORS WANTED: A west county Mathematics and Reading learning center is hiring parttime graders/tutors helping children ages 3 to 15. We offer flexible schedule, fun and rewarding working environment. Interested candidates please call 636-5375522, or please e-mail jwchan@earthlink.net SITTERS WANTED. AVERAGE $10 per hour. Register free for jobs near campus or home. http://www.studentsitters.com.

PART TIME JOB: Galleria 6 Cinema. The Galleria 6 Cinema has immediate openings for students seeking part-time work. Hours are flexible. No experience is necessary. If you’re courteous, dependable, and and enjoy movies, you might really like this opportunity. Please direct inquires to: Michael Durham at (314) 575-8524 or mdurham@ stlouiscinemas.com. PART TIME JOB: help children to learn Kumon math and reading. Locations in Ladue and/or Florissant. Hours: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday from 4 - 7 PM, Saturday 9 AM - 3 PM. Pay is $10-$17/hour. Contact w w w. k um o n - la du e . c o m . Send resume to: tdk@cse. wustl.edu. SUBSCRIPTION MANAGER WANTED. Student Life is looking for a responsible student to work 4-6 hours/week mailing subscriptions and managing our alumni database. Good pay. Opportunities for advancement. Please send resume or questions to lcuber@ studlife.com.

FOR SALE: 6258 Cabanne. 3BR/2BA house on double lot in Loop area. Great in vestment or dorm alternative. $129,900. Owner/ Agent: 314- 863-5100.

INCREDIBLE 3BR 1300SF UCity Loop apartment! New kitchen & bath, HW floors, dishwasher, C/A, W/D, and parking. Also available: 2 BR apartment right behind Kayak’s for $995. Good credit and rental history a mustt, quiet building policy. No dogs, please. London Properties, LLC: 314-6082692. LARGE SELECTION OF apartments throughout STL! Red Brick Management has apartments in UCity, CWE, Richmond Heights, Doctown, Shaw, and Soulard. Find your pace today! Please call 361-7067 or visit www. redbrickmanagement. com.

AUTOS 1999 SAAB 9.3 Turbo. 100,400 miles. New alternator, water pump, condenser, battery. $4,000 or best offer. 314-605-5252. NEW & PREOWNED CARS: Shop online for your next vehicle. Find new and preowned cars and trucks. Email me at avery3_charles @hotmail.com.

$5000 PAID EGG donors. +Expenses. Non-smokers, ages 19-29, SAT > 1100, ACT > 24, GPA > 3.0. Reply to: info@eggdonorcenter.com.

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2 pm Thurs. 2 pm Mon. 2 pm Tues.

Email: classifieds@studlife.com

Terms & Conditions There is a 15-word minimum charge on all classified ads. The first three words (max. one line) are bold and capitalized. All ads will appear on studlife.com at no additional charge.

Placing Your Ad

For the fastest and easiest service, place and pay for your ad online! Click on the “Classifieds” link on our website to get started!

1-5 issues: 50¢ per word, per issue 6-9 issues: 40¢ per word, per issue 10+ issues: 30¢ per word, per issue

SOCCER GOALIE WANTED: JV soccer team needs a goaltender. if interested email head coach Joe Clarke at joec@athletics.edu.

CUSTOM MADE GIFT baskets. I am custom making gift baskets for college students. For college students, I make: Graduation Gift Baskets ($40), Get Well! Gift Baskets ($25), and Spa Day Gift Baskets ($30). Email me at morganluvsu13@yahoo.com or call me at (314) 709-9145 for details. TYPING AND TRANSCRIPTION Services (www.workinprogressllc.biz). Expertise in all academic formats. Specializing in qualitative research transcription. Over 30 years experience. Rush jobs welcome! Contact Karen at 314-732-0000 or karen @workinprogressllc. biz. Conveniently located in CWE.

ANNOUNCING ADVERTISE FOR FREE! Washington University students, staff and faculty can place free classified ads in Student Life. Simply email the your ad to classifieds@ studlife.com. Your ad will run free of charge for up to six consecutive issues. Thirty word limit. Personal use only.

Payment All classified ads must be prepaid prior to first insertion by credit card, cash or personal check. Checks should be made payable to

WU Student Media, Inc.

14 STUDENT LIFE | ADVERTISEMENT

WEDNESDAY | AUGUST 29, 2007