POLLY’S BABY BLOG Our Parenting Columnist, Polly James, shares the truth behind being a mum

Mum’s moment of truth: 2020

eing a new parent and adjusting to a new life is challenging at the best of times, throw in a global pandemic and it’s not just your life, but the world changes before your eyes. B If you are a new parent in 2020 and still standing, give yourself a big high five!

YOU DESERVE IT! YOU HAVE SURVIVED!

Moment of truth. It does suck that my baby was born in a year that everyone despises

By Polly James

and a year that history will look back on like a scorned woman. Even though 2020 has been a massive year of change and upheaval, mentally and physically for my mind, body, and soul. I will look back at myself and all parents who brought babies into this world during the COVID-era and will admire our strength. When there was a lack of community, the community spirit shone brighter than ever. When there was uncertainty, there was support, kindness and solidarity from friends and family. As the year comes to end Christmas has extra poignancy for me. A time to take stock, try to process what this year has thrown at us and concentrate on loved ones and focus on building new perspectives. This year has been a trigger and I take great comfort in knowing 2021 will be a year of peace. I hope! Peace of mind at least. I want to re-evaluate what is important. Who is important and what makes me happy. I think I have, just like you, been trying to survive this year and get through it week by week. There have been some awesome times don’t get me wrong, watching Indy everyday just blows my mind, we laugh so much together. I love being a Mum. I adore my family and the months we were locked in the house together were the best, the love has been strong and grows daily. I have certainly put some great foundations down for 2021, it’s just time to start living again. I’m still a little unsure on my New Years resolutions. But regardless of what they may be, I’m going to try hard to keep to them. Longer than 3 days anyway! I read somewhere that by the 3rd January most people have already broken them. That’s me when I tell myself that this year is for healthy eating! Not a chance! Haha. I just hope in 2021 to spread more positive energy on my platforms, like those sickeningly happy people on Instagram-haha. I want to be one of them in a world where it’s so easy to get bogged down on all the horrible stuff happening. Surround myself with positive, good people, follow accounts that inspire me to be a good mum and stop using social media for validation, listen to more awesome music, go to more gigs (we only hope) be a great mother, belly laugh with my baby girl everyday, be a great girlfriend and a great radio DJ. I want happy vibes only and I’ll shut out all the rest hopefully that should rub off on my mood and lifestyle.

My best Mum bits of 2020...

Indy was 2 weeks old when we went into official lockdown on the 24th March. It was her Dad’s birthday. We locked down the hatches and it was just us 3 for a few months. We cracked on and got Indy into a great routine. That time we had together was so precious. Meeting Nanny again! Gradually reuniting with friends and family (at a distance) was daunting but so exciting. I wanted everyone to meet my little girl.

I have a baby book and I record all of Indy’s ‘first moments’ she rolled over and smiled for the first time on the same day. Watching her grow up and development is magic. She has funny little mannerisms; she loves to touch things with her middle finger. She makes us laugh. There is nothing I love more than watching her explore and thrive. Amidst all the chaos this year, I can proudly say that during the Covid-19 era I’ve become a first-time mum and…… a chef! We started weaning Indy at 5 months and she LOVES her food. I love creating her meals and experimenting with ingredients and flavours.

We were in a local lockdown during all October and then when Halloween came it was the firebreak so we couldn’t get to a pumpkin patch farm for a classic baby pumpkin patch Instagram photo. I made a really rubbish backdrop in my garden instead- Haha! This is what you get when you mix a new Mum who loves Christmas and who is obsessed with novelty gifts! Indy has a lot of personalised items. A special momentum for a special occasion and her first Christmas is just that!

Fostering with

Cariad ostering with Cariad is a very small independent fostering agency based in South Wales, probably the smallest in Wales. Originally set up as Cariad Fostering in 2008, the agency has maintained its ethos of F children in care to enable them to achieve their best and give them a really good foundation for their adult life. To do this we need foster parents of all shapes, sizes, ethnicity and age. Then we make sure that we provide a very high level of support 24 hours. remaining small and providing an extended What do we look for in Foster parents? family feel to foster parents and children. We need people who are dedicated, who To this end all Foster Parents and staff will not falter at the first hurdle, who have a get together twice a year to plan training, sense of humour, who are prepared for the activities and support so that everyone takes ups and downs, who are willing to learn, part in the decisions. They are given lots who are willing to advocate for a child, who of opportunities to provide feedback and are prepared to attend meetings for the child we listen, review and adjust procedures as and write daily recordings and have a spare necessary. bedroom. Although small, our foster parents stretch Sometimes there is a misconception for across the M4 corridor from Carmarthen new foster parents that if they have their to Newport. Our office is based in the own children fostering will be easy as they middle in Pencoed, Bridgend, where all our know what to do. But unfortunately most training and meetings are held (COVID has ‘Looked After’ children have had very prevented this from happening this year difficult backgrounds which may result in but we have adjusted to virtual meetings behavioural issues and how this is managed and support groups). We also hold lots of can be quite different from birth children. get-togethers and activities for the children A good foster parent will therefore be open and foster parents, for example, ice skating, to training to help them understand the paintballing, picnics, BBQs, Christmas reasoning behind the behaviours and how meals and frequent support groups. to deal with different situations which may We aim to provide long term stability for arise. We will support you through all this. Cariad is committed to making the right matches between Foster child and Foster parent. We look at the specific needs and interests of the child and match those with the interests and ability of our Foster Parents. This has worked successfully over the years and many of our children are placed with their foster families on a long term basis. We have supported carers to adopt children or prepare children for adoption, to take on Special Guardianship orders for children, to enable young people remain with their foster families post 18 under a When I’m ready Scheme, to return to family or to go onto independent living. That is not to say that we don’t need carers who are looking to offer short term or respite care. A good mix helps provide stability and continuity of care within Cariad. Cariad has a reputation for providing an extremely high level of support and training to our Foster Parents on a one to one basis and in group form. Foster parents are allocated a supervising support worker who will visit regularly, offer support at meetings and get to know the family and foster child extremely well. The advantage of being small is that Foster Parents have the opportunity to get to know all staff and vice versa. We offer in-house out of hours support so when you phone you know exactly who you will be talking to. If you think you would make a good foster parent please contact us on 01656 861650 or email enquiries@cariadfostering.co.uk for further information.

HEALTH & WELLBEING

Mr Gywnfor Lewis with his physiotherapist and bike, at the Vale hospital

Health Change Makers

hether in the pandemic or during ‘normal times’, Nuffield Health Cardiff and Vale Hospitals is on hand to make huge improvements for W people, so they can get on with enjoying their lives in comfort. Here we talk to patients who have experienced superb care from surgeons, physios, nurses and healthcare staff at the two Cardiff independent hospitals, part of the UK’s largest healthcare charity. These stories show how being a change maker is everyday work.

Two New Knees

Retired owner of an agricultural merchants, Mr Gwynfor Lewis, of Lampeter had led a very active working life and very much wished to continue cycling in his retirement. In 2019, he had two partial knee replacements at the same time and rigorously followed his physiotherapy routine to return to full fitness. He was bowled over by the care and attention of the entire team and has nothing but praise for everyone he met there and was soon back

Consultant Orthopaedic Surgeon Mr David Pemberton

to cycling 30 miles in a day. Gwyn says,“ The nature of my work did cause a lot of wear and tear but I do have good upper body strength. It was probably because of this and my determination that my surgeon, Mr David Pemberton, decided that I would cope with having both knees operated on at the same time. Before the surgery just walking more than 200 yards was impossible and the knee problem was affecting my ankles and my feet.” “From my arrival at the Vale hospital through to the aftercare provided, I could not have felt more at ease. From day one, I was up and about with a frame. The Nuffield Health physiotherapists even arranged to adjust my bike to make sure it was the right set up for me! I spent a week at the Vale hospital and it is really friendly.” “After my knees were fixed, I got active again quickly. I can’t put into words how fabulous the hospital is – it’s utterly unbelievable! I would heartily recommend it, especially Mr Pemberton.”

A Return to Sight

After nine months of sight loss with cataracts in both eyes, at 70 Mrs Judith Palmer was at risk of losing her sight permanently until she was referred to Mr Dan Morris of Nuffield Health Cardiff and Vale Hospitals, which totally changed her outlook. Mrs Palmer regards herself as being’ very, very lucky’ for coming under Mr Morris’ care. She had no experience of hospitals or operations and says she is a very nervous

individual but he was able to put her at ease and explain everything in detail. She says, “I recommend Mr Morris to everybody. If you can afford it, it is worth every penny, not just for yourself but for your whole family to benefit.” Mrs Palmer was overjoyed by her experience, saying, “The Cardiff Bay hospital was excellent and they try to do everything for you to make you comfortable. The staff there treated me like royalty – they are a real credit.” Pleasantly surprised, the instant the eye pads were removed, her vision was as clear as crystal. Mrs Palmer says, “Everything was so bright and I no longer need my glasses, except for reading! The moon that night looked amazingly crisp – it was unbelievable! I was able to watch my grandson play rugby on TV and enjoy looking at photographs again. Having cataracts gives you a massive appreciation of sight problems - the limitations of doors, steps, caring for yourself and how the whole family is affected. We are so very grateful to Mr Morris and the whole hospital team.”

Spinal Surgery Success

IT specialist and League darts player David Cheal had suffered with back problems for 10 years and when it spread to sciatica in his leg and worsened, he underwent microscopic surgery at the Vale hospital. He is now pain free and can enjoy both being active and being able to sleep. Patient Mr Cheal describes his symptoms and treatment, “Standing still for more than a couple of minutes kicked the sciatica off in my left leg, tightening all my muscles and causing numbness in my leg. I was in a lot of pain for the rest of the day with sitting down providing the only relief. Simple things like boiling a kettle or chalking a game of darts left me in a lot of pain. Walking slowly also kicked off the sciatica. I have corporate health insurance, so thankfully I was referred to consultant spinal Neurosurgeon Mr Iqroop Chopra. “ At both the Nuffield Health hospitals in Hensol and Cardiff Bay, I had consultations, X-rays, MRIs, nerve blocking injections and physio, with an excellent experience at both hospitals - clean, friendly and most hospitable! After my laminectomy and discectomy I came out of hospital two days later. My back was very painful to touch for about 10 days. Six weeks later, I was back at work and darts soon after, with my mobility much

Mrs Judith Palmer after her procedure

Consultant Ophthalmologist Mr Dan Morris

improved.”

Spinal Neurosurgeon Mr Iqroop Chopra

“Mr Chopra and every member of staff that I met at the hospitals were very good to me. My consultant is a friendly, kind and knowledgeable man who did his upmost to keep me informed from my very first visit to my post op appointment. I would thoroughly recommend this procedure.” To get back to feeling like yourself again, make an appointment with a Nuffield Health specialist. Visit www.

nuffieldhealth.com/hospitals/cardiff-and-

vale or call 02920 836714 - a very warm and professional welcome awaits.