Embracing the fear: with

Embracing the fear:

HOW TO MAKE FEARLESS DECISIONS

By Hattie MacAndrews Confidence and Mindset Coach

Acknowledge the fear

So what exactly do I mean by fear? What does fear look like, what does it feel like? How does it show up? That’s really up to you. For some, the idea of dining alone feels horrifying, let alone travelling or exploring solo. Some thrive on mountain climbing and long hikes, while for others the mere thought of going to an exercise class alone is enough to break into a cold sweat. Fear is relative. It comes in many different forms and there are a multitude of ways in which you can begin to overcome it. For many, being fearful is the antithesis of being confident. It’s black or white – you can either feel one or the other. As a confidence and mindset coach, I can confirm that this is absolutely not true. In fact, I have found more often than not that fear and confidence go hand in hand, and quite nicely too.

What does fear look like to you, and how does it impact your decision making? I suggest starting with a list of decisions you are feeling stuck on, then all the possible outcomes that you might be afraid of. These might include: fear of failure, rejection, not being good enough, not being taken seriously or perhaps a fear of the unknown. Once you have acknowledged that you are afraid, you can start to challenge your mindset. Start by asking yourself “how likely is it that x will happen?”. Once you begin to recognise and acknowledge your fear, you can start to look at ways in which you’re able to move through it, and finally learn to embrace it.

Confront the fear

There are a million different ways in which you can begin to confront the fear, but my personal favourite? Good old-fashioned adventure.

Adventure can be thrilling, terrifying, exciting, scary, overwhelming and breath-taking – all at once. Adventure can make you feel alive, truly alive, and bring on that glorious rush of

Find your comfort zone, then step out of it

endorphins we so constantly seek. Once you’ve returned safe and sound from your adventure, you very quickly realise that you had nothing to be afraid of in the first place. Hence the fear has been confronted and is no longer there. When you think about being “adventurous” – what does that mean? Is it planning to summit Kilimanjaro or is it adding an extra chilli to your curry? Working out your own boundaries and limitations when it comes to being adventurous is the first step. At what point do your ideas cross the line from exciting to scary, safe to unsafe?

Find the balance and begin to tip the scale. If you’re not sure where to start with adventuring, then start small. If you could take yourself on one mini adventure that feels (a little) scary, what would that be? It could include going for a longer walk than usual, embracing the cold-water swimming craze, or taking on a new challenge at work. Find your comfort zone, then step out of it.

Embrace the fear

So now you have acknowledged what it is you are scared of, and you have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone in one way or another. It’s now time to embrace the fear.

A simple shift in your perspective is the simplest way to start. Once you have built up your catalogue of adventures (big or small!), you will start to appreciate, and embrace, the feelings of fear you had initially. If you weren’t terrified of stepping into a cold shower, would the aftermath be so thrilling? If you weren’t a little apprehensive about pitching to a new client or presenting a new idea at work, would the sense of achievement be so great? Embracing the fear is an opportunity to embrace the lows, as well as the highs. You can give yourself a pat on the back for doing whatever it was you were scared of, and know that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to.

Fear builds confidence. Fear feeds confidence. It’s not always linear, and it’s not always simple to see, but try stepping out of your comfort zone using this process and see what happens. You never know, you might be off on a solo holiday sooner than you thought!

Mount Kenya

Fuelling fearlessness

As an incredibly stubborn and independent person, my idea of being fearless is doing things that scare me, completely alone. I love an adventure and enjoy the process of pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I have climbed mountains, travelled and dined alone in all sorts of situations – and the more I do it, the more I love it. Here’s a list of things I have done recently, all by myself, that have made me stronger and more confident as a result:

Climbed Mount Kenya alone Taken up Pole Dancing lessons and Mountain Biking Woken up at 5am and drove to Wales to climb Mt Snowdon (on a whim) hattiemacandrews.comWent on holiday to Ireland for a week Instagram: hattie_macandrews