2 minute read
International surrogacy
A GROWING FAMILY
One Melbourne couple share their experience of international surrogacy
WORDS ERIN MILLER
W hen Ross Andrewartha and Jack Loder met their daughter Olivia for the first time, they described the moment as a “blur of smiles and tears”.
The Melbourne couple welcomed Olivia in California last August after a lengthy surrogacy process to become parents. Now home in Melbourne and listening to their daughter giggle and master new skills, Ross and Jack are filled with gratitu de that they are a family of three.
Communications manager Ross, 35, and designer Jack, 33, have been together for seven years and knew from early on in their relationship that they wanted children.
They started investigating how they could grow their family about three years ago, initially looking into foster care and adoption.
Ross says being gay had never been an issue in his family, nor in Jack’s family, and before this experience they had never come across any complications of being gay.
“Looking into fostering and adoption was the first time I’ve been made to feel really different — that was a strange feeling,” Ross says.
However, the hurdles made the couple even more determined and they started looking into surrogacy.
They chose the US as not all countries are open to international surrogacy arrangements for same sex couples and because of the regulations and protections in place for everyone involved.
It took several years, medical procedures, genetic testing and hundreds of hours of paperwork during the costly process. When all requirements were satisfied two embryos were transferred to the selected surrogate and the couple were thrilled to learn they had fallen pregnant (with twins) on their first attempt. Sadly, the surrogate miscarried one of the babies and then had a complicated pregnancy with the remaining baby, requiring bedrest for several months.
Because Ross and Jack were in Australia and unable to travel due to pandemic
restrictions, ultrasounds and medical appointments were conducted via telehealth.
“It was touch and go, but we just feel like Oli is our little miracle baby, because we thought at some stage this wasn’t going to happen for us,” Ross says.
The couple were able to be in the US for the birth, are both listed on the birth certificate and have chosen not to know which one of them is Olivia’s biological father.
They hope their story can shine a positive light on surrogacy.
“It’s not just same sex couples, there are plenty of people, who I think, find it’s still a bit taboo to consider surrogacy and have someone else carry your baby,” Ross says. “Normalising the conversation about surrogacy is really important.”
