Compassion fatigue

How to Rediscover your empathy

IN A SOCIETY PUSHED TO ITS LIMITS BY THE PANDEMIC, COMPASSION FATIGUE IS A GROWING PROBLEM AMONG FAMILY AND CARERS WHO RELY ON OTHERS FOR HELP. HERE’S HOW TO RECONNECT

WORDS LIZ McGRATH

Has your care factor dropped to zero in the past few months?

“Covid has created the perfect storm for compassion fatigue,” psychologist Dr Marny

Lishman explains. “The emotional exhaustion you may be feeling after months of lockdowns and uncertainty can cause you to ‘cut off’ your ability to feel empathy for others.

“And it’s often compounded by other stressors — relationship problems, difficulties with homeschooling, worries about money.”

Conflict strategist Sarah Blake says living in a high conflict environment, where our stress levels and heart rates are soaring, means that — for many of us — our buckets are empty.

“Across the globe we haven’t had to deal with this level of high anxiety since the 1918 flu pandemic,” Sarah says.

“People are being bombarded day and night by news about Covid, there have been job losses, families are scattered and unable to connect. So, your patience is low and you have less to give.”

Patient advocate Jason Sotiris says this is having a devastating effect on families and carers with loved ones in hospital, leaving them feeling isolated and alone.

“Thousands of families across the country, who are already feeling the emotional and physical exhaustion from simply being there for a loved one day after day, are now finding they’re faced with friends and family retreating because of compassion fatigue,” Jason says.

Expert tips

FOR REDISCOVERING YOUR EMPATHY

1Be self-aware

“Recognise and name what you’re feeling if you are drained of compassion, so it no longer controls you,” Sarah suggests. “This will give you a frame for change.”

“It may mean getting guidance from someone who specialises in helping people who are stressed or burned out, like a psychologist,” Dr Lishman adds.

2. Take time to reset

“Being reactive is exhausting, so step out of the cycle and take some action to help yourself. If your bucket is low, you’re unable to help anyone else,” Sarah advises.

“Find fun things to do again, things you’re passionate about, to help shift your energy.”

“Self-care can also mean placing boundaries on what makes you feel bad, like too much social media, drinking too much or being around people who upset you,” Dr Lishman says.

3.Reconnect with feeling

Then, take time to reconnect with your family, your tribe and your community, our experts say.

“When you’re feeling psychologically healthier yourself, you’ll be in a much better position to help those around you with the compassion you have within you,” Dr Lishman says.

SUPPORTING THOSE LOOKING AFTER OTHERS

In 2013, Jason Sotiris was told his eldest daughter, Angela, then only a year old, had a 20 per cent chance of surviving a rare type of cancer. The stress that followed took a huge toll on his family, the Sydney dad of three says.

“We had to manage on our own, even before Covid, and it was very difficult,” Jason says. “Families with sick children often neglect their own self-care and rely on help from friends and family, even if it’s just them being there.

Unfortunately, the pandemic has really impacted that.” Thankfully, Angela defied the odds. She recently celebrated her ninth birthday, is cancer-free and is “a happy, bubbly, cheeky, iPad-addicted little girl”, her proud dad says.

But the ordeal changed Jason’s life for good.

He quit his job silicone-sealing bathrooms and created Supertee, an easily removed medical garment with a superhero vibe that’s now a not-for-profit charity.

“As Covid took hold, we started a Supertee Facebook group to support families across the country looking after sick kids and what we’re seeing is that compassion fatigue is really taking its toll — people are physically and mentally exhausted,” he says.

In a bid to help, Jason has just launched a 10 Ways to Support a Loved One in Hospital ebook, which is available for free on the Supertee website.

Visit supertee.org.au

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