Pop the Campaign

THE TV – “Ron DeSantis raised taxes in Florida for food, gas and almost everything else.” “While in Congress, Ron DeSantis voted to cut Social Security payments and Medicare coverage.” No doubt we will soon see: “Ron DeSantis wants to strangle kittens and clean out your refrigerator with the help of ISIS and the woke Democrats.”

In small print at the bottom of the TV screen we are told the ads are paid for by MAGA. So Donald Trump is already campaigning against his closest rival for the GOP presidential nomination. Stand by for counter ads from Ron DeSantis: “Do you want a convicted criminal in the Oval Office?” and: “Donald Trump – endorsed by Stormy Daniels.” Wait till Joe Biden gets started: “Donald Trump (or whoever the GOP nominates) is a pervert, card-carrying commie and likes to gesticulate in public.”

We have 17 months – 17 months! -- before the next elections on the Tuesday after the in hopes that we can bring an amended budget to our Board of Trustees addressing these needs and additional salary increases.”

In addition to the general operating budget, the board also approved the budgets for the Debt Service and Child Nutrition funds.

The Debt Service amount for 2023-24 is $135 million to pay down the district’s debt.

The Child Nutrition budget is $50 million. There is no increase in the price of student meals in the 202324 school year.

LYNN ASHBY Columnist

first Monday in November of 2024. Are you ready for the mind-numbing onslaught?

But there is a sunny side to all of this and, as usual, I shall answer your usual question: “What’s in it for me?” First, we must remember that politics and campaigning have always been a part of our American culture. But campaigns, particularly presidential campaigns, have become longer, more expensive and more in our face.

James A. Garfield in 1880, Benjamin Harrison in 1888 and William McKinley in 1896 mostly sat on their front porch and reporters would come around now and then to ask questions. That’s my kind of presidential campaign.

Today we have chartered jets and buses, bands, huge rallies and, of course, countless

TV ads. What has changed?

“Money is the mother’s milk of politics,” it is said, and we are drowning in mother’s milk. Political spending in all the 2020 federal elections – for Congress and the presidency -- totaled $14.4 billion, more than double the cost of the record-breaking 2016 elections. Spending in the 2020 presidential race alone was $6.6 billion. In the congressional races, donors also generated record spending, capping off with the all-time most expensive Georgia Senate runoffs. Remember those blood baths in the Peach State where the outcome determined which party would control the Senate?

The pols know where to raise and spend their campaign funds. When it comes to raising money, Texas is every officeseeker’s ATM. We will see all the presidential candidates and even out-of-state congressional office-seekers coming here, hat (or outstretched palm) in hand looking for donations. “I hope I can count on your support.”

(Translation: “Gimme money.”)

But spending campaign funds?

That leaves out Texas. We are such a solid red state that there is no point in either party bothering with us.

OK, where does all that money go? Mostly to TV ads. In the 2020 elections, total political advertising spending in all the races reached $8.5 billion across TV, radio and digital media. In the presidential race alone, more than $1 billion was spent on TV ads. But, again, the pols know where to dole out the cash: the battleground states. Almost $9 out of every $10 spent on TV ads in the presidential race were invested in Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, North Carolina, Wisconsin and Arizona. Among the top recipients, Florida got $257.5 million and Pennsylvania received $195.7 million. And Texas? A lousy $7.3 million.

Now we make our move. Get into the campaign money biz. It’s easy and you can be a little bit, or very, loose with silly matters like keeping records of your donors, who gave you how much and what you did with the funds. Campaign laws are notoriously weak and rarely enforced. To get in on this billion-dollar cash cow, let’s start with Joe Biden. Put up “Biden in ‘24” signs in your front yard and invite your neighbors over for a fund raiser. Offer some cheap wine and stale cheese, then make a brief speech about all the good things Joe has done in office. It might be a brief speech, but you’re preaching to the choir. Sell student loan forgiveness certificates. How about instant citizenship documents? I would hold the fund-raiser for Biden for my neighbors but I hate to drink alone.

Or you can work the other side and hold a “Trump in ’24, ‘28 and Forever!” rally, tickets at, say, $400 a head. Auction off Hunter Biden’s laptop. It’s not the real laptop, of course, but who will know? Or hold a sale of top secret documents you got from a bathroom at MarA-Lago. Set up a card table in your yard and start selling orange hair dye. If these getrich-quick schemes don’t work, open a campaign consulting firm for losers, specializing in overturning elections, dragging out court cases and sending Congress fake documents from “state electors” showing your candidate really won.

The problem with your efforts to sway voters is that most Americans have already made up their minds. Every poll tells us that voters’ views about who they like for president are set in concrete. If you are a Biden backer, you are woke, young, eat kale and are a college grad. Also, you are not so much for Biden but you really hate Trump. As for the Trump backers, after all the scandals, lying, Capitol riots and outrageous efforts to overturn the outcome of the 2020 presidential election, (“I just want to find 11,780 votes.”) and you still support Agent Orange, then no one is going to change your mind. When Trump said, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and wouldn’t lose any voters, ok?” he was right on target, so to speak. But if everyone has already made up their minds who to vote for, why spend billions of dollars trying to influence their vote? That doesn’t matter, you just need to get your share. Buy a TV station in Florida. Don’t worry, if all else fails, Mexico will pay for it.

Ashby campaigns at ashby2@comcast.net