Be Digitally Savvy

These days, most of your communication with your friends takes place over text, DMs, and social media.

You’re so used to this way of ‘talking’ that you might not filter a lot of what you type - your thoughts go straight from brain to thumbs to screen.

Why is this a problem, you ask?

Consider this text exchange between two friends, Alexa and Sienna.

A: “Did you see what Sophie was wearing today? Sooo trashy <puke emoji> She is so thirsty lol. TBH nobody in her squad even likes her.”

S: “Omg, ur harsh! Lol.” A: “Hey keep that low key, K?”

Beyond the fact that someone is being meanly discussed, Alexa has now left a permanent record of her judgments. She thought she was safe expressing this to Sienna, who is one of her BFFs

A few weeks later, though, Alexa and Sienna have a falling out. This brief text exchange is no longer on her radar, until she sees Sienna and Sophie hanging over lunch one day at school. Anxiously, she scrolls back on the text exchange and silently freaks out. What if Sienna shares this? Alexa never wanted to humiliate Sophie, she was just engaging in some ‘harmless gossip’ with her friend.. The text exchange above is a minor example of how easy it is to get carried away in the digital space - and how quickly our screens can turn against us. But it gets worse when you consider that sexual photos, videos, and conversations now take place across the digital medium (known as sexting). Research shows that 15% of teens say they send sexts and 27% receive them. But here’s the kicker: a new study shows that although most people who engage in sexting expect their messages to remain private, nearly one in four people are sharing the sexual messages they receive. Assume that anything sent via text is documented forever—including photos! Anything that gets sent to someone else can be shared, forwarded or screenshot. Once you click send, you have officially lost control over your message. Public Safety Canada recommends that when using the internet, ask yourself: Is it legal? Is it hurtful or embarrassing to someone else? Is it harmful to my or someone else’s reputation? Does it put personal information at risk? By asking ourselves these questions, we can avoid hurting others, humiliating ourselves, and exposing our private information to the wrong people.

References • www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/indepth/teen-texting/art-20046833 • www.iphonelife.com/content/texting-tips-kids-5-rules-keeping-yourkids-safe-drama-free • www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/teen-angst/201103/sexting-teens • www.time.com/5172906/sexting-messages-teens/ • www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/08/160804141036.htm • www.getcybersafe.gc.ca/cnt/rsrcs/cmpgns/cmpgn-02/index-en.aspx

Suicidal feelings are not easy to talk about...

of youth have felt very depressed. 40% Depression affects people of all ages and is the second most serious health concern in the world.

Symptoms of Depression can last from 6 months to 2 years depending on how long a person has used drugs, & how much stress is in his or her life

Your Friend’s Substance Abuse: THE RISKS AT HAND

When you approach a friend with your concerns, you will want to come across as supportive and non-judgmental.

When a friend develops a problem with drinking or drug use, it can be upsetting and confusing. The person who you thought you knew so well seems different. Her moods might be less predictable, and she may seem more irritable. She could be treating you differently than she’s used to, or may even be pushing you away.

If you are worried about a friend’s substance use, you may have thought about bringing it up, but you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. That’s understandable - you don’t want to risk losing the friendship!

When you approach a friend with your concerns, you will want to come across as supportive and non-judgmental. Your friend might or might not be ready to change. He might not even be ready to admit that he has a substance abuse problem! But if you approach these conversations with sensitivity, he will start to see you as a person whom he can trust and open up to. Keep in mind these essential tips for talking to friends about their drug and alcohol use.

Approach her when she is sober. Not only will she remember the conversation better, but she will also be in a better headspace to reflect and absorb the concerns you are expressing.

You’re not trying to convince him that he has a problem. If you relentlessly point out to your friend all of the evidence that he has an addiction, you will almost certainly put him on the defence. A better approach is to share an observation - for example, “it seems like every time you drink lately you black out.” Follow this up with an expression of concern, such as, “Are things going all right?”

Don’t make assumptions.You might think you know why your friend is using, and you may even be onto something. But it is your friend - not you - who is the real expert on her life. Treat her that way! For more insight into why your friend smokes weed everyday before school, you might ask her: “what do you like about it?” or “how does it help you?” This helps her to see that you are trying to understand her problem from her perspective, and makes it more likely that she will open up to you.

Emphasize specific consequences - with compassion. Alcohol and drug use come with consequences. Share with your friend what consequences you’ve noticed. Be specific, but gentle. You may notice that your friend has failed a class or gotten into a fight at a party, and ask if this is due to his substance use. Prefacing these observations with “I’m worried that…” or “I wonder…” helps remind your friend that you are bringing this up because you care.

Understand that change is dependent on readiness. When you raise your concerns with your friend, it will start to become clear if she shares your concern about her problem - and if she is ready to do something about it. If your friend is ready to act, you can offer to help her find the help that she needs - counselling or other resources. If she does not see her use as a problem, you can continue to relay the message that while you see her substance use as a problem, you care about her. This way, if and when she is ready to seek help, she knows that she can come to you for support. healthyteens.ca 13