Molly Sher: “New Beginnings”

A spanking new year is set to begin, and I always think of what I might do in the New Year assuming fairly good health.

One of the new beginnings that we all have particularly shared is moving to our beloved Sun City Summerlin Community. It was a new start for all of us! Residents may have many opinions about Sun City Summerlin, but the one thing almost everyone agrees on is that, here, you can be as busy and involved in social networking as you choose to be. The amenities and clubs support various interests from health to socials.

I just read a very interesting article in the December 2022, issue of Prevention. It was entitled, “Who do you think you are?” It wasn’t about being out of line as you might expect; it was more about how we all for possibly decades have formed an established opinion of ourselves. Perhaps see us as “go-getters” or someone who prefers to stay out of the spotlight. This “self-concept” is based on things like “our behaviors, abilities, feelings, and personality characteristics as well as how others see us” according to the author, Stacy Colino.

She says that it’s extremely common to continue to view ourselves as the same old, same old, when, in fact, due to life experiences we have slowly but surely changed. “Self-concept clarity,” the understanding of your own personality and identity is strong until sometime in the 60s. So, a decline occurs when life shifts our roles; we may have retired, our “kids” are now adults running their own lives, perhaps our role in our community has drastically changed. Dr. Michelle Patterson Ford suggests we stop looking through “an old lens of who we are” and accept new challenges and maybe what we may view as risks (things we might do that in our past we’d never think of trying). As the article states, “You are not carved in stone.” Your “old self” might interfere with your decision-making as to what you feel you can or cannot do – and what is possible for you at this new stage of life.

Regarding identity, Dr. Roy Baumeister reports that “Genetic factors contribute to who you are until about the age of 30 – after that, it’s more related to your experiences in life. He explains that maybe you were very athletic as a child, or maybe you didn’t do well in school.” But paraphrasing, “that was then, this is now.”

With a new year coming up, perhaps you are curious to find out who you are today.

These are the steps suggested in the article: 1. Sit down for a few minutes and write out what your strengths, weaknesses, values, and preferences now.

By Molly Sher/Link

2. Talk to close friends who know you and use them as a “reflecting pool.” Think of what you now consider to be your five most important qualities and ask friends if they think you possess those qualities. 3. Then look at how you spend your time. What makes us happiest is living “in a way that aligns with our true values.” 4. Perhaps write a letter to your younger self explaining how you’ve changed and what you’ve learned about yourself over the years. You may find, says Dr. Ford, that you have some outdated ideas of who you are since “10, 20, or 30 years ago.” 5. Your qualities may have changed over the years. As Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D, suggests “Updating your self-concept isn’t only about consciously letting go of notions that no longer suit you; it’s also about reclaiming aspects of yourself that you value that have gotten lost.” 6. How do you label yourself? Introvert, extrovert? Creative, non-creative? Athletic or non-athletic? These may or may not have been true in your “old life,” but perhaps they now need to be challenged in your “new life.” YOU are not the 20-year-old, or 30-year-old anymore! Dr. Leary says to be careful not to label yourself using words like “always” or “never.” 7. How do you see yourself in 2023? What do I need to focus on to become the person I want to be? What can I do now to improve my life? Dr. Leary says we all have the opportunity to write our future story influencing where you want to go and how you want to be.

What are your thoughts for 2023? We have many clubs here; you can learn a language, play an instrument, act on stage, dance on stage, learn to draw and paint, do crafts, take up tennis or pickleball – the list is almost endless!

For the New Year coming in I pray that it will be a good and healthy one. Let’s do it! Happy New Year, May It Be the Best!