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CONTENT Flicks of the Month 14-15 Angelo the Kid Interview 6-11
Raury 22-23
Ads 16-17
Story Times 10,20
Have Fun
Age of Anxiety 12-13
Stripper Shennigans 18- 21
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ANGELO TH One of the best moments in life is meeting someone who seems totally ordinary and learning that they have this crazy lifestyle unknown to the rest of the world. Angelo Villaraut, better known
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as Angelo the Kid, is one of those people. A fucking DJ. Who would have thought at first glance. He’s not just any ordinary DJ you see at your typical frat party or local bar either: he’s rocking spots in New York City, Hoboken, and Jersey City. I’ve even seen him DJ a coll
ege party in Punta Cana. When I first met Angelo, I didn’t think much of it, just another college kid pretty plain-looking, always wearing sweatpants and a hoodie like he didn’t really care(still not sure if he cares but that’s not what this is about). There were rumors in the air that he was a DJ but in college every frat boy with a mixer thinks they are the next Calvin Harris, so I didn’t pay it any mind. It wasn’t until I saw him DJ at a bar that I realized he was something special.
It was a Tuesday night because college kids don’t believe in normal social patterns and the bar was some wannabe NYC bar in west nyack named Karma(not the one on the Jersey Shore). This was my first time there and I was more concerned about my fake ID working then the music being played. Once my shitty Florida fake got me past the threshold, I was slapped in the face by heavy bass and college girls screaming (good screams, don’t make it weird). It was so
HE KID foreign to me. Everybody was drinking to forget about the fact that it’s a Tuesday and we go to a shitty school in NJ. It was as if for the night we went to some crazy big school acting a fool just cause we could. I heard Angelo was DJing but I had to see it for myself, so I went up to the DJ booth and, low and behold, I saw a stick figure of a man ripping the decks apart(in a good way). Cutting and scratching. Making the
HOW THIS YOUNG BOY WENT FROM SCHOOL DANCES TO DJ’ING THE TRI-STATE’S NOTORIOUS CLUB SCENE
crowd dance and lose inhibition. I mean really lose it. Girls getting stickers slapped on their ass, guys going up to girls they have no shot with, all was a product of Angelo’s DJing. It’s been 3 years since then, and now he’s one of my closest friends; he’s my roommate and I work with him as a roadie from time to time but nothing has changed. He just gets the crowd
to let loose and truly have a good time. When deciding to do this, I thought he would fit well so I texted him and he was down. I sent him some questions and set up a time. When the time came we decided, “fuck it: lets go bowling and get trashed like any good interview.” After returning from drinking 3 beer towers and bowling a 65 and a 155(guess who bowled what), this is the interview of the crazy kid from the burbs that I’m proud to call the best-kept mess I’ve had the pleasure of digging into. (Shots were taken)
“If you like something when you’re young just do it. You have the time just do it while you’re young you’ll regret not doing it. Dont fucking wait”-The Kid
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th the ki kid
the he ekid id d
LU
Ok what pushed you toward the field ?
KID
I love seeing a crowd rock love seeing people happy and enjoying themselves when I play. Love seeing people play my edits there’s just no better feeling.
LU
What’s the most recent stuff you’ve been doing in the field?
KID
Private events and nightlife a lot of nightlife lately djing at Porta in Asbury Park down the shore stuff in hoboken and getting booked through Get Down dj group.
LU
What niche do you think you fit into?
KID
Open format djing. Playing anything at anytime love surprising a crowd. I just love getting people excited to come back. New music isn’t too good so I like to mix
anything I want that sounds good and matches the vibe of the crowd.
LU
Where do you see yourself going?
KID
I want to be like the main and biggest in weddings and night life balance both. Headline events but people still want me to dj there weddings.
LU
Do you think it’s easier to get girls as a dj?
KID
Yea girls are always at the booth but what matters is how you handle it. I don’t really care though those girls might be more trashy to be honest.
LU
you’re stuck on an island you can bring 3 things what are they ?
KID
1. Xbox tv package 2. Mixers with music 3. A crowd
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STORY TIME
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T WAS ‘ THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING ANGELO THE KID TALKS TO US ABOUT HIS CRAZIEST NIGHT ‘Twas the night before Thanksgiving. You know how it goes. Everyone’s home from school so you have to go out. It’s called blackout Wednesday for a reason. You’re celebrating America. I was DJing at cubanelles. It was a pretty routine for the most part. Having fun, a couple of my boys from school were there drinking heavily, of course, and I had my friend, Bobby, DJing with me too. The whole night went out with any real problems. Had a good set and a few drinks because what the hell, I’m the DJ and it’s Thanksgiving Eve for me, too. As the end of the night approached, the chaos started to rise. My set was over so I’m in the hotel lobby next door because the bar and the hotel are connected just waiting to say goodbye to some people as I usually do. I’m just chillin handling my business with Bobby when this guy stumbles in. He had blood coming down his face coming out of his nose and mouth. He was really fucked up like he had just seen a ghost, then the ghost fucked him up. We went over to him and asked what happened. He kept babbling and saying weird shit like, “this is fucked up man” and things like that without any real context. At one point I think he even said, “I want my mom.” This shit really shook up my night. I had to see what was going on to understand what was up with this guy. Low and behold: I walk outside to see an all out brawl happening with my friends involved. It was utter mayhem. I saw one friend getting thrown by a bouncer, 2 friends ganging up on a kid, one friend knocking a kid out. I didn’t really know what to do and I don’t really fight, so I just stayed out of it. It was just crazy to see, especially when I wasn’t involved; it was really expected for me -- it just came out of nowhere. Im sure there was some stupid reason they had to justify the cops getting called and beating up some guys probably just for talking shit, but thats not my business; I just got to watch. The aftermath for my friends wasn’t too bad either: just a couple of ripped shirts, a bloody face, and my one friend’s face was purple and blue because his face smacked the pavement. Imagine having to see your family on thanksgiving with half your face purple and blue. Dumbasses, but yeah that’s my story.
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Comedy “Christ. Seven Years Of College Down The Drain. Might As Well Join The F**King Peace Corps.”
Animal House
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Flicks of HORROR “It’s probably the neighbors. What? Y’all scared of a family.”
Us
the Month DRAMA
ACTION “You Rob To Support A Drug Habit, I Do Drugs To Support A Robbery Habit.”
Baby Driver
Do you know the success rate for marriage when one person gets sobers, and the other one doesn’t? Is it higher than the suicide rate for cops?
Everything Must Go
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tudent loans, colorful lights, middle aged men. What comes to mind more than a strip club. How many can actually say they know a stripper, though? I’m sure you have some weird idea of what strippers are like in their dayto-day lives. Alot of fucked up shit probably. I can honestly tell you that all of those things are true, don’t let anyone tell you differently. Haha, just kidding around; they’re normal people. It’s not like stripping is their only thing. I had the pleasure to facetime a friend who goes by the stripper name, Bambi, to get the inside scoop on what it’s really like. Her situation was a little different, though: she only stripped for 2 days and she was the youngest girl at the club, so keep that in mind. All I have to say is these girls deserve more for dealing with the shit men do.
What do you think it actually takes to be a stripper? You have to be strong! Physically and mentally it’s hard. Lifting yourself up on a pole is difficult and all that with a bunch of people wanting. Also you have to have tough skin haha.
What would’ve happened if you were successful? I‘d probably still be stripping … Duh
What’s the deal with the backrooms /private lap dances? Well the private lap dances are interesting. It’s pretty much like your fucking a guy with all your clothes on. You hear all the moans and all that stuff haha. The private room I never went to though I got offered but I wasn’t ready for that. Pretty much anything goes back there and it’s up to the stripper. Some were willing to do more then others but again it was up to that specific woman.
Why’d you quit?
I was doing a set and some dick literally tried to pay me to stop and get off of stage. I was new so I was pretty upset. I even cried so I quit.
What are your thought on strippers now? More Power to them.
“I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.” -George Carlin, Brain Droppings
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Double BreastFeeding in the club Why would you even ask... It was my second day, so naturally I was a little more comfortable. I did some dances. I was making that money and doing my rounds as strippers do. I’ve heard some creepy stuff while working but nothing crazy. If you can make a private lap dance normal you can deal with some crude comments, haha. So about half way through the night I had a coworker ask me over to entertain one of her regular’s friends. It wasn’t too bad -- you pretty much get paid to sit on a guys lap and have a conversation for the most part with an occasional creepy touch but you can get over that. So as the conversation started getting longer the man tried to slip his hand under my top. I wasn’t really about that so I asked him not to. He stopped probably in fear of the security (you’re not supposed to touch) but then as all men do he asked, “ WeLl WhAt CaN i Do GorGeOuS?” I just let out a little laugh because it was just awkward. Of course, he asked again, and then he had the balls to ask, “Well can i suck on them?” He was referring to my nipples. Without hesitation, he then asked “Can WE suck on them???” and gestured to his friend. Let’s take a moment and assess the situation … I was a stripper in a strip club … this is not a brothel or a nursery. I will not have my titties out to double breastfeed two grown men. Also, what if i said “YA SURE” imagine that scene. Ugh, I got up and went about my business, but wow, men say some stupid shit. Story - Bambi
Words - Lu
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L WE E L A N ED
Rau
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Album of the month - All We Need x Raury Have you ever heard of an indigo child? The concept came in the 1970’s and the idea is that an indigo child is an extraordinary child that possesses unusual, even supernatural skills -- physically, mentally, spiritually. Pretty radical idea, right? Well, Raury believes there is a whole generation of indigo children walking the world right now. When he made the album “All We Need,” he used the concepts and beliefs of an indigo child which for him embodies more of his spiritual side. He sees the people as a collective with love surrounding us all. He actually went on a camping trip to Yellowstone National Park and it changed his life. Like a lot of great artists, a “pilgrimage” brought out his best work. It has rap influences with a mix of folk inspiration. “All We Need” “Forbidden Knowledge” ft. Big K.R.I.T “Devil’s Whisper” “Crystal Express” and “Mama” will show his abilities to genre hop with grace and without compromising his main goal and message in this album. There is a reason why he was co signed by Kanye West and frequently gets comparisons to Kid Cudi and Andre 3000. I suggest listening to this album alone on a speaker in the great outdoors. Enjoy.
indigo child
wasted
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how to punch a baby There comes a time in life where random facts will save your life. Well I can tell you this is not one of those times. I’m almost positive you’ll never need this information but on the off chance you do this articles will teach you how to punch a baby. Sorry mom.
1. Find the right baby When it comes to baby punching it all comes down to selection. Selection is key in all aspects of life and it’s no different when it comes to this matter. Punch the wrong baby and you could be in a whole slew of trouble. First you have to ask yourself; Am I dick or should I try to justify my actions. If it’s the first, You got this stop reading but if not I can help. It’s probably best if you find a bigger baby with a stronger jawline. It’ll hurt a little more but you can say the baby scared you or you thought the baby was a midget. 2. Where to do the deed Location Location Location. When you find the baby it’s time to find the ideal location to punch the fucker. It’s probably your first time so it should be thought out and special. Everyone’s first time should be special. A back alley is a clique and creepy, you’re punching the baby not kidnapping it. I suggest a parking lot of an Arby’s. Anyone eating there is probably “feeble-minded” and will be excited to watch.
3. Execution It’s pretty straight forward. You’ll want to find the baby at your location of choice. I suggest going around 4 o’clock. That’s usually when parents go to pick up their kids from school and the lazier ones will stop to get food with the whole family. While the family’s getting out of the car wait for the baby to get into the stroller this is what we call in the biz; prime real estate. The stroller will allow you to get an optimal hit. When you reach “go time” I suggest going perpendicular to the jaw so the baby knows what’s happening but you won’t like to kill the baby… cause that would be bad. One punch will do. Any more and you’re just over doing it. Aftermath If you’ve actually considered this and have done it congrats. Have fun being the dude that punched a baby. Get out of town because when word gets out I can promise you someone’s going to want to fuck you up. You punched a baby, you’re a dick now.
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“welp that’s all for now Folks”
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“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the evil man�