ScARED STIFF

ObSeSSiOn Scared stiff

She’s not afraid to stand in front of an audience and tell jokes, but Kate Pinchuck says travelling with her can be a nightmare

I am scared of forgetting anything important when I go travelling, or something going wrong, or losing something. I am incredibly high maintenance, so there are a lot of items that go into maintaining my base line of functionality. If any one of those were to be misplaced, I might lose my mind. I am also, because of my Jewish mother, always very anxious about being the wrong temperature. The idea of being too hot or too cold is very stressful to me, so I can usually be found lugging around an extra jacket and a change of clothes, no matter where I am or what the season is. I pack for a trip like I am planning to change outfits three times a day, just in case.

Food for daze Home sweet home

When in Cape Town, Kate says, you might as well fuel up somewhere special

Park off

There’s a coffee shop in De Waal Park and I am obsessed with it. I can’t have a dog because I am irresponsible, so I go there to drink amazing cappuccino, eat pasteis de nata and watch whippets and great Danes frolic about. It’s the best. The only scary thing that has ever happened was when someone asked me which dog was mine. ‘None,’ I said. ‘I just like to watch.’

Tea time for the soul

My favourite tea café, O’ways, has opened a branch in Plumstead, with outside seating. This place has some incredible Asian fusion vegetarian food, plus a tea menu the length of Harry Potter 6.

Take-away temple

I was heartbroken when Jewel Tavern, an incredible Chinese restaurant at the docks, closed. Fortunately the owners now have a takeaway-only joint in the city: Monks Chinese. Everything on the menu is delicious, but if it has the words ‘Crispy Ginger’ in it, it will probably change your life.

Creepy Cape Town?

Kloof and Bree streets at night – especially on First Thursdays. Absolutely crawling with hipsters who are definitely a thousand times cooler than you. No one is meant to look sexy in Crocs, but this crew somehow does.

Chuckles

Armchair in Observatory on a Wednesday night is where us comedians try new material which might soar and land beautifully, or crash and burn – you can watch our heads grow to the size of the ceiling or witness our self-esteem wither and die like the indoor plant I bought two days ago.

High anxiety

One year, my entire Jewish family decided to do the Tsitsikamma forest canopy tour. We thought it might cure us of our collective anxieties. For a moment, it did. We all got harnessed up and attached to a wire rope and we did the foefie slide across the roof of the forest. Even my mother was overcome by a spurt of bravery. We were so cured, we even booked a bungee jump. Of course, once we came down from our foefieslide high, we cancelled that.

Ghosthunter Freaky trips

Is there anywhere at all that Kate feels safe?

No show ghost

Last year my boyfriend and I took a road trip up the R62, and stopped in Uniondale for a pie and in hopes of seeing the phantom hitchhiker who supposedly haunts that stretch of road. We saw no spook at all. I think the ghost probably saw my bag full of anti-anxieties, courtesy of 2020, and decided to leave us in peace. Follow @katepinchuck on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok to see snippets of Kate’s comedy and other silly things.

Bat girl

In primary school they tried to make me do the ‘adventure’ section of the Cango Caves near Oudtshoorn. I’m claustrophobic, so while I was happy to be in the enormous entrance cave, the idea of going any further was terrifying. I have no desire to try and squeeze through something named ‘The Letterbox’. I think I crawled backwards through a stalagmite.

Catch Kate

Watch Kate’s stand-up comedy on Showmax: Frizz Pop Presents: Women Aren't Funny, They're F&*#ing Hilarious; Funny People Africa; and Laugh at First Sight. You can also see her in Tali's Baby Diary on Showmax.