Gilbert Ramirez A Seabee Honors Fellow Vets
ROCKS, GEMS, MINERALS AND THE TOPEKANS WHO KNOW THEM
GRANDPARENTS AS CAREGIVERS: REAL JOY AND REAL CHALLENGES
WINTER DRINKS: WARM HIGHLIGHTS FOR A COLD SEASON
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TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
FROM THE EDITOR WINTER 2019 | VOLUME 14, NO. 1
Editor Nathan Pettengill Art Director Jenni Leiste Designer Jenni Leiste Copy Editor Leslie Andres Advertising Representatives Sunflower Publishing Angie Taylor ataylor@sunflowerpub.com (785) 832-7236
Photograph by Bill Stephens
Welcome to the winter issue of Topeka Magazine. In this edition of our magazine, we begin to wind down one of our most popular series of articles, the “Perfect Shot” stories where photographer Bill Stephens accompanies a fellow photographer on a photo shoot and talks with them in technical and general terms about their growth from a hobbyist to a semiprofessional or professional. The series has claimed a prize from the Great Plains Journalism Awards and has allowed us to include delightful images of photographers’ best works as well as photos of the artists in action, such as Kenny Membrino and his crew creating the “Barn Bride” photo shoot (above). These images have often shown Topeka at its best, which aligns with our mission of covering the best aspects of our capital city. But equally important, these stories have focused on the particulars of how one grows as an artist through training, practice and numerous mistakes. In the age of digital photography, mistakes are literally more easily erased— but they should never be confused with tame learning opportunities. Mistakes still have a cost. As the photographers in this series have pointed out, some mistakes will ruin a shoot, some mistakes will mean that the perfect shot has eluded them. To a degree, setbacks play the same role in our own lives. We regroup, often find previously unrealized strength, and make our way forward. The stories in this edition’s annual special section on senior living reflect just this kind of perseverance: “grandfamilies” forced to reinvent themselves, a successful young working senior interrupted in her life by a rare illness, and a combat veteran looking back unflinchingly at the toll of war. In photography, mistakes remain essential to mastering equipment and to honing artistic instinct. And in life, setbacks can put us on unexpected paths that eventually lead to growth and a new perspective. The stories in these pages chronicle all of this, not to celebrate or minimize the difficulties, but to recognize them as realistic parts of our lives and to honor our abilities to move beyond them.
Peterson Publications, Inc publish@petersonpublications.com (785) 271-5801 Ad Designer Alex Tatro Photographers Nick Krug Bill Stephens Writers Marsha Henry Goff Carolyn Kaberline Susan Kraus Nick Krug Huascar Medina Leah Sewell Bill Stephens Michelle R. Terry Subscriptions $27 for a one-year subscription, including Topeka SR; order at sunflowerpub.com
Please contact us at topekamagazine@sunflowerpub.com for all comments, subscription and editorial queries.
Topeka Magazine is a publication of Sunflower Publishing, a division of Ogden Publications. Production Manager: Jenni Leiste Director: Bob Cucciniello Ogden Publications 1503 SW 42nd St Topeka, KS 66609
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TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
WHAT’S INSIDE WINTER 2019 | VOLUME 14, NO. 1
TOPEKANS 09 THE ROCK EXPERTS
In the world of Topeka collectors of rocks, gems and minerals, some of the best treasures are just below us
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“MY INITIAL IMPRESSION OF TOPEKA PROVED LASTING”
The state’s new poet laureate talks about discovering a hometown and his hopes for its future
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PERFECT SHOT
For Kenny Membrino, there are two key elements to a photograph: meticulous preparation, and the willingness to throw all of that aside for a “crazy idea”
PLACE 20 A PERFECT WINTER ROUTE
Runner and fitness trainer Michelle Terry continues a yearlong series on the city’s best seasonal running routes with this wintry run across the Shunga Trail
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LESS STUFF, MORE MEMORIES
For this holiday season, why not consider a short Kansas road trip as a gift to the entire family? SOPHISTICATED HOLIDAY GOODNESS
Topeka bartenders customize winter drinks that play up layers of taste rather than the holiday season sugar rush
I N E VE RY I S S U E 30 WHAT’S HAPPENING
Selected Topeka events for the winter
TOPEKA SENIOR 38 HONORING AMERICA’S FALLEN
Behind a war veteran’s tribute to lost service members stands a personal story of combat and return
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COURAGE AND DETERMINATION
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GRANDPARENTS AS CAREGIVERS
After a rare disease ushered in Lynne Wells’ sixth decade of life, the Topeka resident set out to reclaim her senior years As growing numbers of seniors step in to become their grandchildren’s primary caregivers, two Topeka families talk about the joy and challenges of accepting that role
On the Cover Gilbert Ramirez A Seabee Honors Fellow Vets
ROCKS, GEMS, MINERALS AND THE TOPEKANS WHO KNOW THEM
GRANDPARENTS AS CAREGIVERS: REAL JOY AND REAL CHALLENGES
WINTER DRINKS: WARM HIGHLIGHTS FOR A COLD SEASON
Vietnam veteran Gilbert “Gib” Ramirez stands next to his homemade tribute to veterans that he displays in the front yard of his Topeka home. Photograph by Nick Krug.
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TOPEKANS STORY BY
Carolyn Kaberline |
Winter 2019 | TOPEKA MAGAZINE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Bill Stephens
The Rock
EXPERTS In the world of Topeka collectors of rocks, gems and minerals, some of the best treasures are just below us
Bradford Davenport inspects specimens from his collection of rocks, gems and minerals.
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TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
TOPEKANS
To polish his rocks to this smooth, bright finish, Davenport uses a machine that tumbles his rocks against a combination of grit substances (three different grades of silicon carbide grit followed by two different grades of aluminum oxide grit).
I
n Topeka, some of the most precious rocks, minerals and gems are not only under layers of earth, but methodically cataloged and filed away in boxes, display cabinets and drawers across the city. A few of these objects are precious in the traditional sense—they are rare and could be valuable in greater quantities—but for the most part, these collections are precious in the sense that they represent countless hours of researching, collecting, polishing and studying rocks, fossils and earth science in general by hobbyists from all walks of life. A Sample Collection Bradford Davenport’s collection fits this description. His home near Tecumseh contains an inventoried collection of hundreds of rocks and minerals, as well as a separate workstation for cutting them and preparing them for display. Davenport’s rocks and minerals come from across the world, but predominately from the United States. From Utah, there’s a Lucin variscite, a rare phosphate mineral with deepgreen coloring. From California, Davenport has a Stony Creek brecciated jasper that he has polished to bring out its beautiful swirling patterns with earth tones of brown and persimmon. There are also specimens from closer to home. Davenport shows off an entire section of rocks from Shawnee and Jefferson counties as well as a remarkable petrified tree root found in Douglas County near Stull.
Davenport began his collection modestly—as a young kid in the early 1960s picking up rocks around a fishing pond east of Meriden, but has steadily added more specimens throughout the years. “If I run out of room, I just get another barn,” he jokes. Though Davenport spends considerable time on his own, finding, cutting and polishing rocks and minerals for display, his hobby is part of a larger social network. Topeka is home to two different rock-collecting groups who reach out to people of all ages who share their interest in natural art waiting to be discovered and picked up from the earth. “The lapidary part of the hobby, the cutting and the polishing, might be solitary,” says Davenport, “but it is great to put a group together to go on outings. Our meetings provide great back-and-forth, and they are learning experiences as speakers provide a great amount of information on rocks, minerals and other aspects that we would not be exposed to otherwise.” TGMS Davenport is the president and longtime member of the older of Topeka’s two groups for rock, gem and mineral enthusiasts. According to its club history, the Topeka Gem and Mineral Society (TGMS) was started on December 3, 1948, as an educational, scientific and social club “to promote interest in geology and the lapidary arts.” For TGMS members,
TOPEKANS
Winter 2019 | TOPEKA MAGAZINE
TOPEKA ROCK GROUPS “lapidary arts,” a general term related to engraving, cutting or polishing gems and stones, has always involved supporting one another in establishing individual collections and joining together on exploratory field trips. The members also regularly share their knowledge with young audiences. Millie Mowry, the club’s treasurer and editor, says those community groups include school classes, Scout groups, guests at the Children’s Discovery Center, visitors at the Shawnee County Fair “or any other group as requested.” The members also host special courses for children, the Junior Rock Hounds, that introduce young hobbyists to earth science concepts and the basics of collecting, identifying and working with rocks, gems and minerals. For adult members, TGMS holds monthly meetings with lectures and presentations as well as field trips and classes on silversmithing, cutting and polishing rocks, and wire wrapping rocks into jewelry. NEKan Rock and Fossil The North East Kansas Rock and Fossil Club, better known as NEKan Rock and Fossil Club, is a much newer organization, started in September 2017. The group strives to promote interest, involvement and education in various earth sciences including geology, minerology and paleontology. And acting president Larry Henderson says the group’s members might also best be described as rockhounders, the slang term for people with an extreme interest in collecting rocks, gems and minerals. The group meets monthly for meetings that usually include a member showing and talking about a particular specimen, followed by a speaker covering a special interest such as earthquakes or volcanism, the study of volcanoes. The members have also formed several special interest subgroups such as the Fossil Interest Group, Rock and Mineral Interest Group, Fluorescent Rocks Interest Group and Jewelry (non-lapidary) Interest Group that meet at other times at locations around Topeka. “These groups are hands-on, and any interested person is invited to participate,” Henderson says. Besides general and special interest gatherings, the group hosts field trips for members and their families. “We usually find interesting fossils or rocks and travel to local and regional events or museums such as the Sternberg [in Hays] or KU Museum of Natural History [in Lawrence],” Henderson notes.
About the Writer: Carolyn Kaberline is a teacher and journalist whose writing appears regularly in Topeka Magazine.
The Topeka Gem and Mineral Society Founded: 1948 Meetings: Held from 7:30–9:00 pm on the fourth Friday of each month, September through May, at Stauffer Science Hall, Room 138, on the Washburn University campus. Same schedule applies for the summer, but with potlucks. The Junior Rockhounds meet at 6:30 pm on the first Thursday of the month at the Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library. The group also holds an annual fall show on the second weekend of October. This event brings in more than 20 dealers from several states and also provides demonstrations of lapidary and jewelry arts as well as a chance for the public to bring in rocks or minerals for identification. For more information: topekagms.org facebook.com/ TopekaGemAndMineralSociety/
North East Kansas Rock and Fossil Club Founded: 2017 Meetings: Held at 6:30 pm on the second Thursday of each month at the Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library. The Fossil Interest Group meets at 6:30 pm on the first and third Tuesdays in the conference room at Subway on 3215 SW Topeka Boulevard. The Rock and Mineral Interest Group meets at 6:30 pm on second Tuesdays at Goodcents Deli Fresh Subs at 2060 NW Topeka Blvd. The Jewelry Interest group meets at different times on the fourth Wednesday of each month at the Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library. For more information: nekanrockandfossil.club facebook.com/ NEKansasRockandFossilClub
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TOPEKANS
TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019 STORY BY
Huascar Medina with Leah Sewell |
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Nick Krug
“My Initial Impression of
TOPEKA PROVED LASTING” The state’s new poet laureate talks about discovering a hometown and his hopes for its future
I
first met Topeka through the window of a Greyhound bus at the end of a 20-hour ride. Despite my bleary eyes and stiff limbs, my first impression—a city soaked in the syrupy light of a sunset, its yellows and golds warming the buildings downtown—remains vivid. I was just 18. My life to that point had been a transient ride that rings familiar to military families. It had been a blur of schools, people, and neighborhoods. But when I graduated high school, I took a chance on buying a ride from San Antonio to Topeka, and when I disembarked the bus that day, I unknowingly set foot in the one place I could finally call home. This city is where I’d write poetry and drama, and here I would perform onstage to a packed house, holding my own. By simply keeping its door open and shelves endlessly stocked, the Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library provided an alternative to a tiny apartment. At night, I’d sit in the dingy light of the apartment building laundromat, straining to read the footnotes beneath a T.S. Eliot poem. Footnotes were an intellectual track I sprinted down in search of the next poet, next book, next flood of endorphins. Soon I identified as an artist who could be an integral part in shaping the hometown I wanted to live in. I belonged. Topeka kept offering anchors: siblings who needed my help, a job, a rental agreement, a dint at college, my first hard brush with love, the birth of my child. Two decades passed— the longest I’ve lived anywhere. My initial impression of Topeka proved lasting. Though I arrived late to the reciprocal relationship of a hometown, Topeka is mine. I belong to Topeka, and Topeka belongs to me. In 2019, the Humanities Kansas updates with organization’s new name named me poet laureate of Kansas. In that role, I also see myself as a de facto ambassador for Topeka and our arts community. Wherever I travel,
I promote my hometown and encourage others to visit. I don’t have to harp too hard because we have a lot going for us. We have laudable patrons, groups, and organizations bolstering the arts. We have poets, fiction writers, playwrights, and local publications to showcase their work. Venues lead to plays being written and produced, actors to perform in them, and audiences to bear witness. The same goes for music and visual arts. My life has intersected with every facet of the arts in Topeka in some way. At the center of every movement sits a core of talented individuals. Not everyone recognizes Topeka’s collective talents. I feel the sting when outsiders make a habit of poking our bruises. It is different if the criticism comes from Topekans. People who grew up familiar with a place on a cellular level have the right to criticize their hometowns like the mother who calls out her beloved child’s mistakes in order to help them learn and strive to do better. Having claimed Topeka as my hometown, I feel freer to take a critical look at what needs to change about my city, and because I’ve been both a newcomer and an insider, I feel I can offer a dual perspective. I’ve noticed how woefully insular our arts communities have grown in recent years. Insulation can be endearing, but it’s also a fatal flaw. We should move with purpose to shake up the status quo by attracting an infusion of new talent, creating demand for versatility, innovation, and a more diverse field of artists. In many ways, we’ve grown too comfortable within our at-capacity groups, organizations, and venues. We aren’t striving enough to expand beyond our boundaries. These laurels are too easy a resting place. I recently visited Volland House, near Alma, and learned that patrons in this town of fewer than 800 people host a residency program for artists and writers in a rustic loft overlooking the Flint Hills. If they can accomplish it in
Though I arrived late to the reciprocal relationship of a hometown, Topeka is mine. I belong to Topeka, and Topeka belongs to me.
Alma, then Topeka can expand incentives that lure fierce talents who, nurtured by our history, culture, and daily rhythms, will create art that carries Topeka’s name and influence. An interdisciplinary artist residency program in Topeka is well overdue. We can also look to examples of larger cities. In Kansas City, the Charlotte Street Foundation provides grants, resources, residencies, and exhibitions designed to assure no marginalized voice goes unheard. With competition for the grants comes friction, but Charlotte Street lubricates the gears of arts movements, too, by discouraging complacency, ensuring the feasibility of careers in the arts, and by asking artists to stick their necks out in exchange for support and recognition. Topeka’s arts communities might bloom stronger if sown in a bed of competitive spirit. We should incentivize artists to take the risk of full commitment, to drive them out of their closets-turned-makeshift-home-studios into the spotlight where their art can generate conversation around issues crucial to this moment. Organizations should cultivate conditions challenging artists to create outside their comfort zones. Finally, we must urge greater communion of purpose among disparate paths forged by our great arts institutions. Organizations like ArtsConnect have made great strides in this area, but let’s expand. We can leverage the cultural dynamism at Washburn University to the wider community so people never hesitate to confidently stride onto campus in search of art experiences. The community, in turn, should invite Washburn’s representation at every table. The public library is a literary tour de force, often actively seeking partnerships, but it can’t possibly reach every aspiring writer and audience. All divided creeks should feed a river flowing multifaceted, diverse, and unified, serving to attract new talent while elevating the quality of life for all who call Topeka home. I speak these criticisms from a place of love and through observations in arts advocacy work where I’m but one member of a coterie. Topeka has a lot going on already, and we ought to celebrate how far we’ve come. We can make Topeka an even better arts town by adding more voices to the conversation, growing more ambitions, and working intentionally, roadmap in hand.
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TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
TOPEKANS STORY AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY Bill Stephens
Perfect
SHOT For Kenny Membrino, there are two key elements to a photograph: meticulous preparation, and the willingness to throw all of that aside for a “crazy idea”
Winter 2019 | TOPEKA MAGAZINE
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T-minus 9...
K
enny Membrino is going over his mental checklist as he prepares to head out for a photo session. “Are the extra camera batteries in the case and are they charged? Check. Are all of the lenses and bodies cleaned and dusted? Check. Are the umbrellas and strobes packed and fully charged? Check. Have the baseballs been soaking in gasoline, is there extra gas and at least two fire extinguishers packed? Check, check and check.” It’s a familiar checklist for all photographers, except of course the part about the gasoline-soaked baseballs. But that combination of being prepared and bringing the unexpected perfectly defines Membrino’s approach to landing the perfect shot. In Membrino’s world, a good photographer should follow the traditions of the art and their own creative impulses. “There isn’t a photo that hasn’t been taken before,” Membrino notes. “That shouldn’t stop photographers from stepping outside their comfort zone and putting their imagination to work.” Membrino began studying photography in high school, when the instruction was still on film. When he returned to the camera a few years ago, he immediately jumped into all-digital equipment and found that the tech-heavy aspects of photography melded well with his professional experience at a Topeka media company in programming and troubleshooting large audio-video systems. There were also two other elements key to his early success: the internet and his wife, Dawn. “When I first started getting into photography, I watched hundreds of hours of YouTube videos, I learned all I could, and then I’d drag my wife out and practice what I saw until I was comfortable with it,” Membrino says. “She not only keeps me sane when we are busy, but she is the best assistant I could ever ask for.” Dawn is an active collaborator on the set, reviewing images and offering suggestions as well as holding strobe lights close to the subject, a small detail that can make a critical difference in the final image. Placing the strobe lights is generally the first thing Membrino does after finding an interesting, natural pose for his subject. The strobes are crucial for providing “fill light,” the illumination of areas that would otherwise be dark shadows on a subject’s body and face. Not having enough fill light will create an image where the subject’s features are muddy and dull looking. Shining too much fill light means the subject will be overexposed, causing the whole image to look unnatural. Knowing how to achieve the proper balance is the secret to creating a portrait with a sense of depth.
NASA has it figured out. At “T-minus 9” which indicates 9 minutes until launch of a space craft, the clock enters a 45-minute hold, whereby the clock stops and a launch readiness poll is conducted throughout the launch team. Each technician replies with either a “go” (everything looks favorable for a launch), or a “no-go” (any last-minute glitch cancels the mission). Retirement planning is much the same. In the countdown of our final working days, a “45 minute hold” – retirement readiness check is critical when aiming for a successful mission. If you are nearing retirement and haven’t stresstested your wealth plan, call today to see how we can help make your “go/no go” call!
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TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
TOPEKANS
“I love that separation and layering in photos so it doesn’t just look like a flat picture,” Membrino says. “Especially in portraits, the subject should be the focus of the picture, not the background. The background should just be there to ease our eyes into seeing who the photographer was trying to capture. While Membrino works hard to set up these ideal lighting and staging conditions for a shoot, he also believes that a good photographer should be prepared to abandon all their previous ideas once a shoot begins. “For most any session, I usually go into it with an idea of what I want to shoot, but you have to be willing to either throw that completely out the window or go a different route,” he says. “There are times, even between shots, where I’ll see something and an idea pops into my head. It helps to find models that are up for any of my crazy ideas.” Sometimes those ideas are just slightly beyond the conventional, such as a recent shoot where he juxtaposed model Amy Strothman in a beautiful wedding gown against the background of a rustic barn interior … plus a few cans of smoke that Membrino keeps on hand for his shoots. But at other times, Membrino’s ideas require more than a contrast of themes—and that brings us back to the gasoline-soaked baseballs. For this photo shoot, Membrino, Dawn, a model and two friends who volunteered to assist with the shoot head out to Silver Lake Baseball Association’s Field 3 to create an image that Membrino had envisioned. Initially, he conceived an idea of posing a baseball player on a baseball diamond, and making it look like the ball that they were fielding was flying so fast that it streamed a line of flames in its wake. All of this could have been done with digital manipulation after a shoot, but Membrino’s goal was to create an image that conveys the metaphor of a fireball with actual flames. Once on the baseball diamond, Membrino positions his strobe light and fill light while his friends take out the doused baseballs, set them on fire and pitch them (with the aid of a flame-resistant mitt) onto the dirt for their model to field. After several flame-tossed grounders, consultations with Dawn and adjustments, Membrino is satisfied with his final image. He says it was a shoot that had been on his bucket list for a long time; now, having completed it, he’s free to move on to his next big project. Membrino is not sure exactly what that will be, but it definitely involves shooting underwater and being open to whatever “crazy idea” arrives once he pulls out his camera and takes that first image.
The Equipment
Like most photographers, Kenny Membrino has a range of equipment, but he relies heavily on his favorites: • Nikon D750 DSLR (digital single lens reflex) camera • Nikon Z6 mirrorless camera • 70-200 f:/2.8 lens • 85mm f:/1.8 lens
About the Writer: Though officially retired, Bill Stephens runs a photography business and frequently contributes to Topeka Magazine.
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PLACE
TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019 STORY BY
Michelle R. Terry
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
A Perfect
Bill Stephens
WINTER ROUTE
Winter 2019 | TOPEKA MAGAZINE
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T
he winding and scenic Shunga Trail is one of Topeka’s most popular running paths throughout the year. Sprawling along the Shunganunga Creek with wide pathways and convenient access from parking lots, it is a particularly good route to enjoy winter nature scenes and the city skyline with a bit of protection from the ice and wind. When winter comes to Kansas, you want to be sure you are running along clear paths and areas that might not be too remote in case bad weather rolls in. The 9.1-mile, fully paved track of the Shunga Trail is usually well maintained and easy to access from several spots as it snakes from Crestview Park near 29th and Fairlawn, past Gage, the Expo Center and through SE Golden. There are numerous trail-adjacent parking spots, including those by the VA Hospital, Washburn University, and Topeka Boulevard. If the weather is cold, but not particularly snowy or icy, then it is nice to make a small detour down the Marsh Habitat Trail, which runs just off the trail, parallel to the sidewalk near the Gage/VA Hospital trailhead. Even if this wooded path is a bit muddy, it is generally worth some grime for the scenery and chance to spot birds among the leafless trees.
TOPEKA
MEMORY LANES
Where memory lane meets forever.
Our Route Guides Given that a winter running feature was my idea, it was only fair that I’d take one for the team, along with willing (but not particularly excited about it) running partner and husband, Scott. Together, we have been lacing up our shoes since high school, but most consistently since 2005. As Scott says, “I run because I feel better on those days than on the ones I don’t.” And that’s also true for me, even for cold days. We’ve both bundled up and run when temps were below zero because our mental and physical health called for it. Once you get started, it’s not that bad, and, as Scott adds, “I’d much rather run outside when it’s cold than in the oppressive August heat.” We also both agree that we prefer an Arctic-like outdoor run over the “dreadmill” any day. Running consistently, despite whatever weather Kansas throws at you, is also important if you are training for a race. I ran my first marathon in 2005, and many early mornings included pounding the pavement along the Shunganunga Creek with friends who were also training. If I don’t have a group ready, then Scott, who worries when I run alone, tags along for safety and his own peace of mind. Sure, he is my husband and that’s part of the deal, but having a running partner is also just good common sense at any time, particularly during the winter. Winter doesn’t seem to bother two of my closest running buddies, our two German shorthair pointers. Even with snow or ice, they jump at the jingle of the leash because they know it’s time for an adventure. They never complain about the cold and always seem ready to participate in the joy we seem to belatedly find plugging along the trail.
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TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
Planning the Run The writer, with two of her three favorite running buddies (one of the family dogs skipped this run), explores the Shunga Trail as an ideal winter running route.
1) Let it Snow The City of Topeka does a stellar job of snow removal and keeps the Shunga Trail path open year-round regardless of conditions. But you still need to take care of yourself, and cold-weather running should include some warm-up exercises, plenty of hydration and layered clothing that will leave you just a bit chilly at the beginning but will feel perfect once you hit your stride. If you run with a dog, keep a blanket in the car or at hand to prevent them from getting chilled immediately afterward. 2) Run Safe The Shunga is usually well-populated during the day, but some of the pavement snakes near the creek, wooded areas, and under bridges with a few blind spots to traffic and passersby. For that reason, I recommend running on it only in daylight, always in the company of someone else or a group, and always aware of your surroundings. See you on the trail!
The Rundown I-70
Location: SW Fairlawn to SE Golden Distance: 9.1 miles point to point Route Type: Paved with one short, wooded nature trail near SW 21st and Gage Elevation Gain: 944 feet Difficulty: Easy Parking: Gage Park, Crestview Park, Stormont Vail Events Center (ExpoCentre)
Central Park Kansas Expocentre
Washburn University
I-70
Central Topeka Quinton Heights
East Topeka South
Jefferson Square
Central Highland Park
Water Fountains: Yes Restrooms: Yes Pets: Dogs allowed on leash Safety: Moderately trafficked Hours: Dusk to dawn
About the Writer: Michelle Terry is a writer and registered dietitian. When she’s not working or wrangling her family, she is running, doing yoga, or managing an unruly garden.
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PLACE
TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
STORY BY
Susan Kraus
LESS STUFF, More Memories For this holiday season, why not consider a short Kansas road trip as a gift to the entire family?
I
’ll agree—there is no place like home for the holidays. But the holiday season can be long and stressful, and sometimes the perfect antidote is a quick road trip. A short getaway can be the ideal way for a family to enjoy the holiday spirit together without any of the holiday stress.
For decades, my family, like so many other families in eastern Kansas, has had an annual holiday tradition of heading over to Kansas City to see the lights on Country Club Plaza. We stroll the Plaza, window-shop, and debate where to eat—but however we get around it, it is still a pilgrimage of shopping. This year we’re breaking with tradition, or perhaps starting a new one. We’re getting fewer presents and making more memories by heading out for short Kansas road trips.
Wichita Lights Over the past decade, Wichita has gone ga-ga with holiday lights. Illuminations at Botanica tops the list with over 2 million lights, 50,000 set to music, spread throughout 30 enchanted gardens. It’s an extraordinary evening of light therapy, enough to jolt any Scrooge into the holiday spirit. Wichita also has Lights on the River, The Arc’s Lights and the Lights at Bradley Fair. And then make time for the College Hill Holiday Lights Trolley Tour (when was the last time you got to ride a trolley to see lights?) and multiple neighborhoods that have over-the-top, radio-synchronized light shows (start with Candy Cane Lane) that would make Disney proud. The visitwichita.com blog has a full listing with
dates, times, any costs and descriptions of all of the above. Plus, the icing on this holiday cake: free horse-drawn carriage rides at both Bradley Fair and Old Town. My favorite website for budget-friendly tips is the well-designed wichitaonthecheap.com. Lodging options are plentiful. I gravitate to The Hotel at Old Town for its central location and the walk-ability factor, as well as the size of the rooms, the ample breakfasts in a gracious lobby setting, and the adorable bar. Multiple chain hotels feature indoor pools. Wichita Airbnb prices are very reasonable, especially compared to Kansas City with 2-3 BR units for under $100 and 1 BR options for under $60.
Photographs (clockwise from left) Rick McPherson courtesy Visit Wichita; courtesy Kansas Department of Wildlife, Parks and Tourism; Deborah Walker.
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Winter 2019 | TOPEKA MAGAZINE
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Hedrick Roos Just a few miles northwest of Hutchison is Hedrick’s Exotic Animal Farm and B&B featuring an Old West façade straight from the movies and a range of animals as the star attractions. Room cost includes evening snack and breakfast, but more importantly includes an evening and longer morning tour where you get to kiss giraffes and pet kangaroos. Hedrick’s takes the concept of petting zoo to the next level, inviting guests into the kangaroo enclosure for close encounters. Their fur feels like baby bunnies. Included in the tour is a camel or pony ride for little kids. During the day, families spread out to enjoy the large upstairs common room with its pool table, ping-pong table, foosball and board games. Each individual room opens to a second-floor wrap-around porch where you can watch the animals from above and listen to their nighttime calls. I’ve stood outside, sweater over my PJs, until my toes felt frozen—but did not want to leave. A surprise family excursion to Hedrick’s is a gift that will never be forgotten.
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Towanda If farms ring your chimes, a more traditional choice is Fulton Valley Farm in Towanda, just two hours southwest of Topeka. The farm’s “A Country Christmas” is open Friday–Sunday evenings, from 6–9 pm, and the $5 admission ticket allows for visits with Santa, close-ups with live reindeer and walks in twinkle-lit woods. The farm also holds reservation-only holiday ham and turkey dinners, but they fill fast.
Manhattan Our Kansas River sister city just up the road offers a more traditional quick holiday getaway. I really enjoy visiting Manhattan during the holidays, particularly their downtown lighting on Blue Earth Plaza, right in front of the Flint Hills Discovery Center. If you stay overnight at one of the hotels by the plaza, you can take a crisp morning hike on the Konza Prairie, then chow down at The Chef Café.
Fort Scott Only two hours to the southeast of Topeka, Fort Scott is always worth a trip. History buffs will love the exceptionally nuanced and in-depth interactive history displays at the Fort Scott National Historic Site, and the Gordon Parks Museum presents a small but inspiring tribute to one of the state’s most talented artists of the 20th century as well as photographs and text providing an overview of the city’s historic Black community that nurtured Parks. But the first full weekend in December is often one of the most festive times to visit the city because it offers the chance to attend the Candlelight Tour of the old fort, where historic reenactors lead guests through the grounds by the candlelight of more than 1,000 lanterns.
About the Writer: Susan Kraus is an awardwinning travel writer and the author of a Kansasbased mystery book series.
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APPETITE
TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
STORY AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY
Sophisticated
HOLIDAY GOODNESS Topeka bartenders customize winter drinks that play up layers of taste rather than the holiday season sugar rush
Nick Krug
Winter 2019 | TOPEKA MAGAZINE
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LIED CENTER
See complete season online
I
t’s quite possible that when Topeka bartenders Aaron Zentner and Jeff Larison were asked to come up with drinks for our winter season of cocktails, they each independently decided to give us all a break, knowing that delectable desserts will abound over the next few months. Neither Zentner’s Lion’s Tail nor Larison’s Winter Rail Adventure is overtly sweet, but both play on a succession of rich tastes to offer a delightful accompaniment to the winter nights.
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The White Linen DRINK: Lion’s Tail INGREDIENTS: 2 ounces of Old Forrester single barrel White Linen signature bourbon, 5 ounces of lime juice, 3 ounces of Bitter Truth Pimento Dram and 1 bar spoon of simple syrup. NAUGHTY OR NICE? If you like a nice Old Fashioned, and bourbon is your spirit of choice, then the Lion’s Tail won’t disappoint. The interaction of the lime juice and the bourbon gives this cocktail a frothy appearance, and the pimento dram brings out a seasonal spice profile of cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves.
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TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
APPETITE
Jeff Larison AT
Iron Rail Brewing DRINK: Winter Rail Adventure INGREDIENTS: Three-quarters ounce of Amaretto, three-quarters ounce of espresso vodka, 2 ounces of Iron Rail Super Chief Stout and 1 ounce of cream. NAUGHTY OR NICE? Larison heads in a different direction, melding the rich flavors of the Super Chief Stout with the boldness of the espresso vodka and then balancing it with a little bit of cream and Amaretto liqueur for a very subtle sweetness. The white cream and the stout together give this drink a marbled appearance that a White Russian devotee will appreciate.
About the Writer: An independent photographer, Nick Krug has also photographed 14 seasons of KU basketball. When not with camera in hand, he is working on his house in central Topeka or spending time with his beautiful wife and children.
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WHAT’S HAPPENING
TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
OUR RECOMMENDATIONS FOR THE WINTER
DECEMBER FEATURED EVENT
GREAT WRITERS RIGHT HERE
December 7
Meet dozens of local authors, including Kansas Poet Laureate Huascar Medina (featured on page 12) at the Topeka and Shawnee Public Library’s annual writer meetand-greet. The free event runs from 10 am–1 pm; for more information, go online at tscpl. org or look for “Great Writers Right Here” on Facebook.
December 1–31
December 7, 14 and 21
TARC’s Winter Wonderland
Winterfest
A Topeka tradition—two miles of holiday lights strung across the Lake Shawnee campgrounds for families and friends to enjoy. Ticket proceeds benefit the mission of TARC, the city’s nonprofit dedicated to assisting individuals with intellectual, developmental and related disabilities. For more information, go online at winterwonderlandtopeka.com.
From 10 am–2 pm, Downtown Topeka hosts special events such as carriage rides, pillow fights with Buddy the Elf, and holiday discounts. For details on each day’s events, go online at visit. topekapartnership.com.
December 6–8 Nativities and Noels
December 1 Chocolate Nutcracker It Takes a Village Dance Troupe presents its fifth-anniversary performance of the Chocolate Nutcracker, a musical retelling of the Nutcracker ballet that takes audiences through the Land of Jazz and other new worlds. For more information and ticket reservations, go online at topekaperformingarts.org.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (2401 SW Kingsrow Rd) hosts its eighth-annual display of over 800 nativities from over 100 countries. Musical performances, photo booth, refreshments and children’s crafts also included at the free event. For times and more information, go to Nativities and Noels on Facebook.
December 7 Santa Rampage
December 1–22 (various dates) A Christmas Story Topeka Civic Theatre stages a musical version of the popular holiday film A Christmas Story following the holiday adventures of a 9-year-old boy from Indiana in the years leading up to World War II.
Grab your bike. Dress up as Santa. Peddle. Drink beer. It’s that simple, and it’s that fun. The meet-up for the public event begins 10 am at Pizagle’s (2830 SW Fairlawn Rd), loops around the city and ends at the start location around 3 pm.
December 7 A Big Band Christmas The Jayhawk Theatre hosts an evening of swinging tunes by a live band, an open dance floor to enjoy them and Norsemen Brewery beer for good cheer. For ticket reservations or more information, go online at jayhawktheatre.org.
Photographs (from top) Nick Krug, courtesy Carol Christensen, and Bill Stephens.
December 11 POPS: An American Christmas The Topeka Symphony Orchestra hosts a night of music featuring favorite American holiday tunes as part of their 2019–2020 program “What Does America Sound Like?” For ticket reservations and more information, go online at topekasymphony.org.
December 13–15 The Nutcracker Ballet Midwest continues its tradition of more than 40 years with a multi-cast performance of the holiday classic. For ticket reservations and more information, go online at balletmidwest.net.
December 21–22 Nutcracker with Topeka Symphony Kansas Ballet Academy presents two performances of The Nutcracker with professional guest dancers and a live musical performance by the members of the Topeka Symphony Orchestra. For reservations and more information, go online at kansasballet.com.
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WHAT’S HAPPENING
TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
OUR RECOMMENDATIONS FOR THE WINTER
JANUARY FEATURED EVENT
GRADIENT 4 PHOTOGRAPHERS
January 1–January 25
The Mulvane Museum of Art presents the last month of its exhibit focusing on works by photographers Greg Booker, Michael Dickey, Steven Spencer and Gwen Walstrand. For more information, go online at washburn.edu, and search for “Mulvane.”
January 9
January 17–February 9
Behind the Baton
Ken Ludwig’s Baskerville: A Sherlock Holmes Mystery
Topeka Symphony Orchestra conductor Kyle Wiley Pickett talks about conducting techniques and the lives of composers featured in the orchestra’s upcoming concerts. The free event is held at the Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library; for more information, go online at tscpl.org.
January 11 Bill Engvall
January 2–February 29 Combat Air Museum Topeka’s museum showcasing authentic military aircraft and the stories behind them moves to winter visiting hours of noon–4:30 (with entrance closing at 3:30) for January and February. For ticket, exhibition and other information, go online at combatairmuseum.org.
January 3 Art Walk Held on the first Friday of every month, this event allows visitors to enjoy new openings, special shows and ongoing exhibitions at galleries and studios across the town. For a full listing of venues and showings, go online at artsconnecttopeka.org.
Comedian (and one-time Dancing with the Stars contestant) Bill Engvall performs at the Topeka Performing Arts Center. For ticket reservations or more information, go online at topekaperformingarts.org.
January 11 Marika Bournaki Canada’s rising superstar pianist joins the Topeka Symphony Orchestra for an evening featuring the work of Mozart, including Bournaki’s solo in Piano Concerto No. 21 — Elvira Madigan. For more information and ticket reservations, go online at topekasymphony.org.
January 17–19 Friends Book & Media Sale Find bargain books and quality used DVDs and other media to support the Topeka & Shawnee County Public Library. For more information, go online at tscpl.org.
Photographs (from top) “Gash” by Gwen Walstrand courtesy Mulvane Museum of Art; courtesy billengvall.com, courtesy Calmus.
Topeka Civic Theatre presents a Sherlock Holmes–themed comedy on its main stage. For ticket reservations and more information, go online at topekacivictheatre.com.
January 18 Topeka to Auburn HalfMarathon One of the area’s most popular runs with plenty of hills and camaraderie along the way. For registration and race information, go online at Facebook.com and search for Sunflower Striders Running Club of Topeka.
January 25 Calmus International prize-winning German vocal group performs at Grace Episcopal Cathedral as part of the Great Spaces concert series. For tickets and more information, go online at greatspaces.org.
January 29 Kansas Day The Kansas Museum of History hosts performances and demonstrations of historic crafts and activities connected to the state’s history and celebrating the 158th anniversary of Kansas entering the Union. For more information, go online at kshs.org.
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WHAT’S HAPPENING
TOPEKA MAGAZINE | Winter 2019
OUR RECOMMENDATIONS FOR THE WINTER
FEBRUARY FEATURED EVENT
MUSIC FOR A SUNDAY AFTERNOON
February 16
Jeff Kready, a Topekan and Broadway performer (Les Misérables, Billy Elliot: The Musical, Tootsie and more), returns to Kansas and the Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library to talk about and perform songs from his musical career. For more information about this free event, go online at tscpl.org.
February 8 Polar Plunge Brave souls dive into Lake Shawnee to raise money for the Special Olympics. For registration, donation and other information, go online at plungeks.org/topeka.
February 9 Zsolt Eder in concert Washburn University instructor and violinist Zsolt Eder and guest performers present a candlelight concert at Grace Episcopal Cathedral as part of the Great Spaces series. For ticket prices and more information, go online at greatspaces.org.
Photographs (from top) courtesy jeffkready.com, courtesy zsolteder.com, common domain.
February 14
February 18
Here Comes Mr. Jordan
Birds and Beer
The Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library presents a free showing of the 1941 classic movie of a saxophone-playing boxer who dies but is given a new shot to make things right with the living. For more information, go online at tscpl.org.
It’s cold outside, so the smart birders of Topeka Audubon Society hold this February gathering at Blind Tiger Brewery. A chance to talk bird lists, upcoming migrations and birding gear—while keeping warm and hydrated. For more information, go online at topekaaudubonsociety. org. Advance registrations are requested.
February 14 “I Dream a World” Opening Party Mulvane Museum hosts opening night party for its exhibit featuring the photography of former Topeka Capital-Journal photographer Brian Lanker and his collection of iconic images from the 1990s of African American women who made an impact on American culture.
February 21 Poetry Slam at the Jayhawk Matt Spezia hosts an evening of slam poetry at the Jayhawk Theatre. For more information and ticket reservations, go online at jayhawktheatre.org.
February 22 February 14–16
African Americans and the Vote
Topeka Home Show The Topeka Area Building Association hosts the annual showcase of new home features and essentials at the Stormont Vail Event Center. For more information, go online at topekahomeshow.com.
The Topeka chapter of the national service organization Links hosts a forum on the history and impact of the Black vote. The open event is held at the Topeka and Shawnee County Public Library; for more information, go online at tscpl.org.
February 18
February 28–March 28
Evel Knievel’s Jump Anniversary
We Will Rock You
On this day in 1973, the legendary daredevil jumped a row of 51 cars in Las Vegas in front of a crowd of over 23,000. What better way to celebrate this feat than a visit to Topeka’s Evel Knievel Museum. For ticket, times and exhibition information, go online at evelknievelmuseum.com.
Topeka Civic Theatre presents a rock musical based on the music of the legendary band Queen. For tickets and more information, go online at topekacivictheatre.com.
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2019/2020
Tests and Triumphs OUR ANNUAL SENIOR SECTION FOCUSES ON INSPIRING STORIES OF TESTS AND TRIUMPHS IN THE LIVES OF AREA SENIORS
STORY BY Marsha Henry Goff PHOTOGRAPHY BY Nick Krug
Topeka SR | Winter 2019
HONORING
AMERICA’S FALLEN Behind a senior war veteran’s tribute to lost service members stands a personal story of combat and return
I
n the 1600 block of SW 29th Street stands a homemade monument to American war dead. On the ground is a life-sized silhouette of a warrior kneeling in front of a white cross and a battlefield cross (a rifle jammed barrel-first into the ground, next to combat boots and supporting a helmet at the top). Rising above is a flagpole with the Stars and Stripes over the white POW–MIA flag. These flags are always flown half-mast, all the time, and they are never lit at night. “When I served in Vietnam, at nighttime and when it was raining, we didn’t have a light on it,” explains the property owner, Gilbert “Gib” Ramirez. Originally, he created the silhouettes and raised the flags as a memorial to fellow Vietnam veterans. Now, he says, “It’s for all veterans.” Ramirez, a native Topekan, began his own service as a steelworker with the Navy Seabees, the combat construction unit founded during World War II. Ramirez joined the Seabees as a reserves member while still in high school in 1962. Three years later, he was stationed at Port Hueneme, California, and waited for his Mobile Construction Battalion 9 to be sent to Guam. But they soon received new orders—the unit was being reassigned to Vietnam. “You could have heard a pin drop on that grinder [parade ground] when we got the news,” Ramirez recalls. At that time, there were few U.S. forces in the region. The first Marine units arrived only
two months earlier, in March of that year, and the Seabees were essential to building bases and infrastructure to allow the United States to bring in more troops to support their allies in South Vietnam who were losing their civil war to the North Vietnamese forces. As the unit’s cruisebook would explain, the unit was now involved in a full-scale combat in the nuclearera, but the demands and expectations of a Seabee remained the same: “A Seabee is a sailor in a soldier’s uniform with Marine combat training doing a civilian job at W.P.A. wages.” Ramirez and his fellow Seabees joined a packed ship of marines on the USNS General R M Blatchford in June. They picked up soldiers from the U.S. Army in Tacoma and then sailed across the Pacific, dropping the marines off in Okinawa, Japan, dropping the soldiers off in Qui Nohn, Vietnam, and finally arriving at their destination—a fortification the troops named “Andy’s Tent City” on the barren sand dunes of DaNang East, Vietnam. Ramirez’ most vivid recollection of that long journey is simply that he was seasick for the first five days of the journey. Landing on the peninsula provided little relief as the battalion began working on a bridge to connect to Da Nang. “We were working in rain, under fire—not a lot of fire, just snipers to let us know they were there,” says Ramirez. “I was 20 years old, and it was one hell of a learning experience.”
I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW T H AT T H E SILHOUETTE T H AT ’ S O U T THERE, HE REPRESENTS P R AY I N G FOR EVERY VETERAN T H AT I S ALIVE OR IS GONE, IN OR OUT OF C O M B AT A L R E A D Y.
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Topeka SR | Winter 2019
When the battalion wasn’t working, it was resting in spartan conditions. They lived in tents. “The sand was our floor,” notes Ramirez, and, as the cruisebook noted, they survived on a fare of “C-rations and tepid water.” Soon, the Seabees turned their attention to their most important project: building a large hospital. On the night of October 27–28, they were attacked by an estimated 150–200 enemy soldiers as infiltrators planted charges around the hospital and destroyed it. Many Seabees were hit that night. Ramirez was awake in his tent when the attack began. He saw a flash, then heard a couple of bangs and leapt up, alerting his sleeping buddies: “I yelled as loud as I could, ‘Mortar attack! Mortar attack!’” Three of the twelve men inside his tent were hit. Ramirez scrambled for his rifle but could not find his helmet. Once up, the men ran to their mortar holes. “You could hear those bullets going zzzzt, like you see in movies, but this was real.” He was injured when another Seabee threw a big metal ammo box containing magazines for their M14s into the hole; it struck him on his helmetless head, nearly knocked him out and lacerated his scalp, causing blood to run down his face. One of Ramirez’ fellow Seabees, Restituto Adenir, died from the fighting that night. The battalion renamed their section “Camp Adenir” in his honor as they turned their work toward rebuilding the hospital. A few weeks later, another attack came that Ramirez says “really got me.” It was at night and they were lined up, firing at Viet Cong, when they heard, “Seabees, Seabees, don’t shoot. Marines! Don’t shoot! I’ve been hit; my squad’s been hit.” Ramirez and a buddy, Bill Driggs, were sent to help. They crossed No Man’s Land barricaded with concertina wire and buried claymore mines. Driggs baptized the dead Marines, then Ramirez and Driggs carried back the dead and several wounded. “When I got back, I just went into a corner and prayed.” Ramirez would go on to serve two tours in Vietnam as the war escalated into a conflict that would claim over 58,000 U.S. lives. Before he left for his second tour, Ramirez realized he did not expect to return, so he paid a visit to a former teacher, a nun, apologized for any trouble he caused her and asked her to pray for him. That second tour involved more moving around. Ramirez and his Seabee buddies were assigned to various projects, including building a medical facility inside a town. Fortunately, there was less fighting, but Ramirez notes that it was not only the combat that
weighed on his battalion. He talks about the conflicted emotions of handing out candy to local kids who came around the camp perimeter, not knowing if one of those kids was aiding an enemy who would try to kill him. And when he finally returned home in January 1967, he and his buddies were met by a divided nation, including some war protesters who called them “baby killers.” “It was so bad, for awhile, that I didn’t want anybody to know I had been in Vietnam,” says Ramirez. Adapting to civilian life was not particularly easy. Though he had gained considerable experience as a construction worker with the Seabees, Ramirez had terrible difficulty finding a job back in Topeka and was told by one foreman that his “kind,” meaning MexicanAmericans, weren’t being hired. Eventually, he found work with the sheriff ’s department before taking a job as a security guard and then as an ironworker in Topeka and Kansas City. He retired from his job at Goodyear some 12 years ago. Through these years, the experience of Vietnam has never been far from Ramirez. Though he originally conceived of his front yard memorial in the late 1980s as one to honor Vietnam vets, Ramirez has begun honoring other service members from other wars and their families by creating silhouette memorials similar to the one in his yard. Six of these memorials have been for Gold Star families. The first Gold Star tribute he made was for a woman who came to his door, saying her son had been killed in Iraq and she wanted to place one in her yard dedicated to him. “I’m a member of Vietnam Veterans of America, Chapter 604,” Ramirez explains, “and at our next meeting, they agreed to pay for the material if I would make and paint the silhouettes for the lady. I painted that cross gold.” For anyone else who sees his memorial, Ramirez hopes to share a message of support. “The silhouettes are in my yard because I want people to know that I am a veteran who lives in this house. I want people to know that the silhouette that’s out there, he represents praying for every veteran that is alive or is gone, in or out of combat already,” Ramirez says. “That flag represents all veterans. I just felt it was something I needed to do.”
About the Writer: Marsha Henry Goff is the editor of Amazing Aging, the official publication of the Jayhawk Area Agency on Aging and author of books on history and humor.
Photos from the MCB 9 1965–1966 Cruisebook illustrate the routines of combat and construction that was daily life for Gilbert Ramirez and his fellow Seabees deployed to Vietnam.
Coming soon to Theatre Lawrence December 6 - 22
January 17 - 26
February 28 - March 8
April 17 - 26
June 5 - 21 (785) 843-7469 | www.theatrelawrence.com | 4660 Bauer Farm Drive
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Topeka SR | Winter 2019
STORY BY Marsha Henry Goff PHOTOGRAPHY BY Nick Krug
COURAGE A N D D E T E R M I N AT I O N After a rare disease ushered in Lynne Wells’ sixth decade of life, the Topeka resident set out to reclaim her senior years
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et’s say you are one of those people with such a spirit of adventure and fun that you celebrate your 40th year by jumping from an airplane. Then imagine that, at 61, you come home feeling ill from a job that you love and 12 days later you were crumpled on the bathroom floor completely paralyzed, unable to move or speak. That happened to Lynne Wells of Topeka on Friday, April 12, 2017. “I couldn’t even cry,” she says, “my tear ducts were paralyzed.” She was rushed to Stormont Vail, where she was given tests and blood transfusions, diagnosed with GuillainBarré syndrome, a rare neurological illness, and life-flighted to Wichita’s Via Christi Saint Francis Hospital. Her adult children sped to her bedside. “I could only look at them,” she relates. Wells heard a doctor tell her crying children, “This may be the best your mom is ever going to get.” In some sense, the odds were against Wells. While GuillainBarré syndrome can strike someone at any age, a 2017 study in the Journal of Medicine cautioned that patients 60 and older showed poorer short-term prognosis in recovering from the disease. Even though she couldn’t speak, Wells was setting her mind against the doctor’s cautions. “Don’t say that to my kids,” she thought. “They just lost their dad a couple of years before and they may lose me. Even if you’re 99 percent sure someone is going to die, don’t say that.”
After seven weeks, Wells regained her ability to speak. “I could say ‘Hiiii’ real creepy. The nurse called my daughter and when I said, ‘Hi, Heid,’ Heidi exclaimed, ‘Mom, you can talk!’ Then she cried and cried.” When doctors in Wichita decided they had done all they could, they had an ambulance transport Wells to Kansas Rehabilitation Hospital. “That was a Friday,” she says, “and on Saturday they had me sit up. As soon as I sat up, I started throwing up because my body was not used to that position.” In all, she spent 159 days in hospital and recovery. We all age, but most of us are allowed to ease into the senior years. Though we naturally regret the loss of strength, mobility and full independence that comes with growing older, we have years to adapt to it, to adjust our routines and expectations for ourselves; perhaps most importantly, we have time to create new interests and excitements attuned to our new stage of life. But for some, as was the case with Wells, the physical changes of the senior years strike suddenly. Wells had an approximately one in 100,000 chance of contracting Guillain-Barré syndrome, the cause of which is still unknown. The consequences, however, were clear—a drastic change in life and a reassessment of daily routines. Wells stayed at Kansas Rehab for three months. She was still using a wheelchair when she was discharged and moved in with her son and daughter-in-law where she quickly made up her mind that she did not want to be a burden. Two months later, she spent
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Easter dinner at the home of her sister-in-law Vicki, who invited her to live with her. The day after she moved in, her sister-in-law asked if she wanted a cup of coffee. When Wells responded affirmatively, Vicki said, “You’ll have to get up and get it yourself.” Wells says that tough love was exactly what she needed. “I learned to make coffee, do dishes, do laundry. I took a shower. I did all kinds of things by myself. And then I moved to an apartment on my own where I live now.” But on the third day in her apartment, Wells fell and broke her hip, which necessitated another trip to the hospital and three weeks at Kansas Rehab where they taught her to walk again. Once back in her apartment, staring at four walls, Wells became depressed and wondered if she was trying hard enough. “I was scared, claustrophobic, crying and depressed, and I thought this is not me. I would cry maybe once every five years, I wasn’t afraid of anything and now I’m scared of everything.” To help break out of her depression, Wells knew she needed to be among people, so she began going to LULAC Senior Center where she developed a great many friends. She mentions a day when students from Shawnee Heights High School came to visit LULAC and she met a young man named Isiah, who became a bright spot in her life.
T H E L I F E I U S E D T O H AV E WILL NEVER BE THE SAME A G A I N , I C A N ’ T M A K E T H AT HAPPEN, BUT I WON’T R O L L O V E R A N D G I V E U P. ... WHEN I DREAM, I STILL WALK AND I STILL RUN. They became friends on Facebook, and he came back to LULAC to check on how she was doing. In May 2019, two full years after the onset of her illness, Wells flew to Cleveland to spend Mother’s Day with her daughter and family. She called Southwest Airlines and arranged for a wheelchair so she could travel more quickly between gates than her walker would allow. She says she was nervous about flying alone, but also excited because she believed the trip would be good for her. Looking back, she says that pushing herself to make that journey made her stronger. Each day since the trip has been another step along the way of renegotiating a new life after Guillain-Barré syndrome stole her old one. By autumn 2019, Wells had progressed from using a walker to walking with a cane. She says she fully intends to drive again, work again and dance again. “My life has totally changed, so I just take each day as it comes. I used to plan things, but now I just take it as I want to do it—I take things easier and slower,” says Wells. “I think there is a certain amount of compromising I have to do because of the impact of this disease. The life I used to have will never be the same again, I can’t make that happen, but I won’t roll over and give up. In my daily life, I don’t think I have compromised, but I have changed my ways. I feel like I’m softer and kinder, and at the same time I don’t care what people think of me, I do what I want. When I dream, I still walk and I still run.”
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STORY BY Marsha Henry Goff PHOTOGRAPHY BY Nick Krug
G R A N D PA R E N T S A S
CAREGIVERS As growing numbers of seniors step in to become their grandchildren’s primary caregivers, two Topeka families talk about the joy and challenges of accepting that role
T
here are many ways to define a senior, and in the United States we traditionally regard this as an age group that has earned its time of retirement or semi-retirement, people who are free to concentrate on themselves and their hobbies. But an increasing amount of seniors identify as grandparents who have become, not by biology but by default, parents again. They are seniors raising their children’s children—and that is, in itself, a fulltime job. The 2000 U.S. census estimated there were approximately 2.4 million grandparents who were serving as their grandchildren’s
primary caregivers. The AARP has stated that it is closer to 3 million, but this number is probably even larger since many grandparents are never legally recognized as primary caregivers, but become that through default. Each family experience is particular to the three generations involved in creating the circumstances that lead to what is sometimes called a “grandfamily,” but the grandparents and seniors who enter this role face common challenges, many of which are just being recognized by government agencies and civic groups.
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THERESA GRENNAN Although it had been 11 years since Theresa Grennan had had a youngster in the house, when her grandson Syd and granddaughter Joanee needed a home, she took them in. At the time they were 7 and 3 respectively; she was 56. Grennan says she has no regrets about the several years she has now spent and continues to spend caring for her grandchildren. She notes the joy of being close as a family, and the peace of mind in knowing who her grandchildren are with and where they are at almost any given time. The love, affection and respect that her family of three show for one another are impossible to miss. But nurturing this family comes with many financial, physical and emotional challenges. “I had to purchase a house with enough room for all three of us,” Grennan says. “I had to locate daycare for Joanee. I had to arrange for after school care for Syd. I had to take time off from work for dentist and doctor appointments, not to mention haircuts, parent-teacher conferences, kids being at home sick, and the list goes on. In the evenings I took them to religious ed classes once a week, then there were school programs, etc., leaving very little time for me to continue friendships with other adults.” Grennan notes that the hardest part of having youngsters in the house again was a general disruption of daily life. “Eating out was no longer simple,” she says. “Going out with friends became nonexistent due to the added cost of a babysitter. Kid-friendly meals had to be planned. It was very exhausting.” Grennan adds that she also found that she stopped saving for her retirement and began spending on her grandkids. “Although I can be very frugal, I was and am literally spending my retirement,” she explains. Would she do it again? “Yes, I would do it again, although I will say this: I didn’t want to do it,” she says. “I wanted other members of the family to step up, younger members would have been more appropriate. The kids have been cheated out of young parents and everything that comes with that—exposure to other young families, ball games, backyard picnics, hanging out with other young families and so on. I have been cheated out of being a grandmother.”
Support and Resources There are few formal organizations for grandparents as caregivers. “Grandparents raising grandchildren are the most under-represented group of people that exist,” says Theresa Grennan. “It’s because we are exhausted. We have no energy or time to lobby for more help.” But some national nonprofit groups do exist with a variety of resources, links and support for seniors raising their grandchildren. Online, you can start with the nonprofit grandfamilies.org and its resources of advice on legal, financial and emotional well-being. The Generations United project has various resources for multigenerational families, and a special section of resources and information for “grandfamilies” at gu.org/explore-our-topics/grandfamilies.
The first morning I helped Stanley down the stairs, the third step creaked. That’s when I found out his wife, Martha always told him to fix it. And now he’s just glad he never did, because that’s home. I love hearing Stanley’s stories about home. And now I get to be a part of them.
– Maddie G. Stanley’s CAREGiver
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The Financial Squeeze
Raising children at any age can be difficult and expensive, but when grandparents—often ready to retire—take on the task of raising their grandchildren, finding the necessary financial resources can prove difficult. If the parents are deceased or on SSDI, then caregivers should have access to Social Security benefits to help raise their grandchildren. Foster grandparents or grandparents caring for grandkids with parents on SSDI can receive close to $700 per month per child in assistance.
JIM AND MARY ROBINSON Jim and Mary Robinson joined the ranks of grandparents raising their grandchildren with the birth of their grandson Eli. “We brought him from the hospital to our home,” Jim says, explaining the arrangement they had previously agreed to for their grandson’s best interests. At the time it had been 17 years since the Robinsons had had a youngster in the house: Jim was 52 and Mary was 45. Although they enjoyed having their grandson with them, scheduling was often a problem: Mary worked for the state insurance commissioner, and Jim was a field service supervisor for Morpho Trust, which was contracted by the state of Kansas to service electronics at the state drivers’ license offices, a job that came with a lot of traveling. The couple did receive some assistance. Eli’s aunt briefly lived with the family and would help take care of him. Eli’s other grandmother would sometimes be able to help. And at other times, Eli would go to Mary’s office after school and keep
himself busy at a conference table. In many ways, it was an ordinary balancing act that any working parent—or grandparent—would recognize. Despite the scheduling complications, both Jim and Mary cared for Eli and integrated his education into their routines. They taught letters and spelling as they watched Wheel of Fortune, and they made sure they read to him every day. That attention paid off: By the time Eli was in second grade he was reading at a fifth grade level and became a state recognized reader for his school. Now 18, Eli is in his final semester at Washburn Tech in graphics technology with a goal of earning a bachelor’s degree. “He was like the son we never had,” Jim says proudly. “While scheduling was often difficult, we were truly blessed. There were no major problems. He did well in school and was very self-disciplined; he got himself ready for school. When he was older, he got a job at Dillon’s and could stay by himself. Under the circumstances, what else could we do?”
The federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program “Grandparents as Care Givers” can also provide cash assistance, medical card, reduced school lunches and assistance with daycare expenses. For Kansans, the Department of Resources for Children and Families hosts the application for the cash assistance program and other information on its website, dcf.ks.gov. The passage of the 2019 federal act Supporting Grandparents Raising Grandchildren has resulted in the first meeting of the agency’s advisory council in August 2019—it is quite possible that additional programs and legislation will emerge as governments at all levels respond to the changing demographics of grandparents raising grandchildren.
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