Chapter One
Happiness and Wisdom
Every area of endeavor has its own wisdom. Business people have skills that help them produce more efficiently; athletes have training regimes that make them stronger and better, and so on. Life is the same – the application of appropriate wisdom creates success and happiness. Happiness means different things to different people. Our view of happiness also changes as we progress through life. Ask a child what happiness is and the answer may include toys or amusement parks. A young adult may mention the need for a special relationship and perhaps achievement (financial or other). Later in life we think about fulfillment and peace of mind. Everyone has some notion of what they need to achieve or obtain to be happy. Yet happiness is not a goal; it is the natural by-product of knowing your recipe for well-being and moving forward with it. Just as wealth is the product of success in business, happiness is the product of success in life. Our experience of happiness is usually short-lived. A new relationship brings happiness; the end of that relationship brings unhappiness. Getting promoted one year brings happiness, not getting promoted another year brings misery. Making lots of money one year
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brings happiness, making less money the next year is frustrating. We don’t seem to have much control over happiness – it comes and it goes. The challenge is to find sustainable happiness, not temporary, fleeting happiness. Creating lasting happiness is not just a question of having more episodes of short-lived happiness. We must create a different quality of happiness – a deeper kind. Just addressing the symptoms of unhappiness will not work. We must strike at its very root and eliminate it forever. This is possible through wisdom, for as we progress toward greater wisdom and apply it in our lives, happiness becomes more permanent. To eliminate unhappiness forever, we must learn the fundamentals of the process. The good news is that it is not an ‘all-ornothing’ process. Wisdom does not come in one big flash of lightning; it is a step-by-step process. A bit like a jigsaw puzzle, as each piece falls into place, a bigger picture starts to emerge. Each step along the process creates the feeling of increased well-being and equips us for the rest of the process. As we progress, even when there are low points, these are not as low or as long as before. Soon we start feeling happier more often. Is there an end point? Is there a final piece of wisdom after which the puzzle is complete and the final destination reached? Yes, there is and we’ll come to that shortly. Remember, happiness increases the moment you start moving toward the end point. Knowledge of the end point sets the line and direction of your journey toward increased well-being and happiness. It defines the bigger picture to work toward in order to create lasting happiness. It is important that you travel in this direction. Then even if at times it seems like a million miles away, you know you are headed in the right direction. No effort is wasted. Even a single step in the right direction gets you closer to where you want to be. Happiness has much to do with creating direction in life.
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So, what is the nature of this end point – that final experience of wisdom beyond which there is no greater degree of happiness? What wisdom gives us the required direction? How is the ultimate wisdom revealed? As a species we have extended our knowledge and experience of our world immensely. With our five senses we have observed the truth of the world around us. We have extended the reach of our senses through telescopes, microscopes, sonar, radar, and satellites. However, the ultimate wisdom is not an experience of the five senses. It does not relate to the world we see around us. It is an experience of the mind requiring no external input from the senses. Sophisticated though our senses are, they are still not capable of sensing the subtler aspects of the environment. Our eyes do not see several wavelengths of light, for example, ultraviolet or infrared light. Our ears don’t hear frequencies that elephants can. We can’t sense subtle smells the way dogs do. Our senses aren’t good at picking up such subtleties. But the mind is a much finer device than our senses. The end point is a realization by the mind, of a subtle yet powerful internal truth. It is an experience by the mind of something subtler than feelings and thoughts. It is an experience of the spirit. But what is the spirit? It is the part of us that is neither the body nor the mind. The spirit is something we experience, not something we define or understand. What we can do is recognize the spirit within us and learn how to increase our experience of it. Spirituality is both an instinct and an experience. The spirit is an instinct that expresses itself as the feeling telling you there is “more to life” than what you experience in the world around you. The same innate instinct compels people to ‘find themselves.’ The spirit is experienced from within, not with the five external senses. It is what makes you smile at times for no apparent reason. It is the compassion you feel when you see a stranger in distress. It is what makes you turn
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the music up and dance when you’re alone. Even if you don’t think of yourself as ‘spiritual’, your spirit will find ways of expressing itself. It is difficult to use the word spiritual without, even subconsciously, arousing the thought of organized religion. Where I use the word spiritual, I use it as pertaining to the human spirit, without any implication of organized religion or belief in a particular God. Irrespective of how we feel about spirituality, God, and religion, the spiritual instinct drives us to question the meaning of life and why we are here. It is a deeper curiosity than any other question we ask ourselves. At times, this instinct can be drowned out by our worldly pursuits and daily activities. But we cannot ignore it forever – it is part of our existence. The end point of wisdom is not the understanding of the external physical world, but the understanding and experience of our internal world – the mind and the spirit. Our spiritual instinct is the urge to know that gently nudges us in the direction of this wisdom. It is there to help us get back on track if we loose our sense of direction or purpose. The journey of life is not a physical journey, but a mental one. It can be likened to a journey across an ocean. At the other side of this ocean is a beacon, like a distant lighthouse in the night, which we need to head toward. Our instinct tells us this beacon exists. As we get closer to the beacon, we feel it stronger and it fills us with light, joy and enthusiasm. So this is what happens when we journey across this ocean….. The ocean has waves. As we get lifted up by a wave we feel exhilaration; it is a real pleasure riding the top of a wave. The view is beautiful and there is a great sense of satisfaction. Then the wave passes and we’re in a trough, the low point between two waves. Troughs aren’t fun. They’re deep and dark and the view is dull. You’re
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at the bottom of a wave that someone else is enjoying. The bigger the waves, the deeper the troughs. But another wave comes by soon – great! Life is good again, the view is good – it’s bright and beautiful. But oh no, it’s coming to an end – you’re heading for another trough. If only the wave could have lasted longer! When will the next wave come? I really don’t like being in a trough. You look around you and see another wave in the making. Maybe if I head for that wave, I can ride it…. almost there .…just a bit more.…yes, I made it. Great, I’m on top of a wave again – life’s good, I’m happy. Looks like a big wave too – I don’t expect this one to end. Guess what….back in a trough again! But there I see another wave about to rise. And so life goes on – chasing one wave after another, day after day, year after year. There is no end because the waves and troughs go on forever. When you meet up with friends you talk about the waves you’ve ridden and the ones you plan to ride. You recall in graphic detail the full experience, the emotion of each wave. Occasionally you talk about the troughs – they weren’t fun but they make good stories. But what about the beacon? The beacon? What do you mean ‘the beacon’? All I know is waves and troughs. I still haven’t found this wave that lasts forever but I’m hopeful. “But don’t you remember the beacon?” “Well now that you mention it, I do have this strange feeling at the back of my head that there must be more to life than waves and troughs”. We’ve been so busy chasing the waves and trying to avoid the troughs that we’ve completely forgotten about the beacon. We have no idea which direction it’s in and we’ve drifted so far away that we’ve lost the signal. All we can remember is waves and troughs.
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Instinctively we know there is something more meaningful and fulfilling, but all we can think of is waves and troughs. That’s all we have in our memory banks – the pleasure of waves and the sorrow of troughs, and the dream of one big everlasting wave, which surely is what happiness is. The source of happiness is not the waves; it is the beacon. Instinctively we know it exists and that there is more to life than the waves and troughs. The knowledge that we are progressing toward the beacon brings happiness. Do you remember how it felt as a child to hear you were going to some fun place, say Disneyland? At what point were you filled with joy? When you got onto your first ride there? Or was it before that? When you walked through the gates of the park? Or was it even earlier? When you could see that you had almost reached the park? No, the joy started the moment you knew you were headed for Disneyland, no matter how far away the park. I call this the happy point – the point where you feel happy because of where you are headed, irrespective of where you are. Happiness starts from knowing you are headed toward the beacon. The waves and troughs still exist and come and go. However, if you stay focused, you are not distracted by waves that take you away from the beacon. You ride the waves without losing sight of your direction. Although the temptation is there, your challenge is to stay in control. You enjoy each wave, knowing it will not last forever. Likewise, you know the troughs don’t last forever either. More importantly, you discover it is possible to move forward toward your goal in both the waves and troughs. Because your happiness comes from moving toward the beacon, you can be happy even in the troughs. How can you ever be unhappy if you learn to be happy in the troughs? Such wisdom helps us move forward positively and enthusiastically in life’s waves and troughs – through good and bad
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experiences. Acquiring this wisdom is the mental journey. Wisdom and the mind are inextricably linked. The mind’s ability to acquire wisdom depends on what state it’s in. A clear, calm mind is better at detecting subtle pieces of wisdom, whereas a confused and agitated mind is a blunt tool. Efforts to move forward will be thwarted by factors that create confusion. To prepare the mind for the journey ahead we must first understand what creates this confusion.
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