411 p.20
Mayhem p.4
More Art Basel Coverage and a Toys for Tots Benefit South Beach Style!
Bid on cool stuff like this guitar signed by B.B. King to help raise funds for the Miami Children’s Museum
Vol. XXV No. 48
December 16, 2010
Visit us at sunpostweekly.com
TREE-FALLIN
’
MAYHEM P.4
PROFILE P. 6
POLITICS P. 8
NEWS P. 8
CALENDAR P.14
CINEMA P. 18
DANCE P. 19
411 P.20
If a Tree Falls on Miami Beach, Would Anyone Hear it? You Bet. SEE PAGE 10 GO! P. 22
SEX P. 26
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com SOCIETY EDITOR Jeannette Stark jeannette@sunpostweekly.com COPY EDITOR Mary Louise English
PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER Kim Stark kim@sunpostweekly.com ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stuart Davidson stuart@sunpostweekly.com ACCOUNTING Sandie Friedman
CALENDAR EDITOR Jake Orsinni calendar@sunpostweekly.com
SALES DIRECTORS Jeannette Stark Julian Avila
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jeffrey Bradley Charles Branham-Bailey Stuart Davidson Marguerite Gil Jennifer Fragoso John Hood Dr. Sonjia Kenya Joshua Malina Ruben Rosario Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Michael Sasser Kim Steiner CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Stuart Davidson Jennifer Fragoso Marguerite Gil Ines Hegedus-Garcia Jipsy Mary Jo Almeida-Shore Mitchell Zachs
FOUNDER Jeannette Stark PUBLISHER EMERITUS Felix Stark (1929-1995) WEB SITE sunpostweekly.com PRODUCTION Blue Studio MAILING ADDRESS P.O. Box 191870 Miami Beach, FL 33119 MAIN LINE 305.482.1785
FOR ADVERTISING & RATE INFO: Please call 305.482.1785 or email kim@sunpostweekly.com SUBSCRIPTIONS First class mailing subscriptions are available at $150 per year. Call 305.538.9797. Copyright: The entire contents of SunPost are copyright 2010 by SunPost Media Inc. No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means including electronic media without the express written consent of the publisher. Covering Miami Beach, North Bay Village, Surfside, Bay Harbor Islands, Bal Harbour, Sunny Isles Beach, North Miami, North Miami Beach and Aventura, Coconut Grove, Brickell Avenue, Downtown, Design District, Wynwood, Upper Eastside, and Miami Shores.
Page 2 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 3
Tropical Mayhem BITS AND PIECES OF MIAMI LIFE
Miami through my iphone
Cash & Carry Art What is more fabulous than the gift of art? Nothing! Be creative this holiday season and check out the salon style cash and carry exhibition at Bear and Bird Gallery. The art featured is smaller boutique pieces that are affordably priced by local, national and international artists. If you can’t make it up to the gallery, they have a huge online section of pieces to choose from. We think the trip is worth making, because the gallery experience is priceless. Bear and Bird Gallery, 4566 North University Dr., Lauderhill. 954-748-0181. To shop online head to: bearandbird.com
A HOLIDAY TRADITION by Ines Hegedus-Garcia - miamism.com - ines@miamism.com We all have a way to get involved in our community, whether it’s by helping children, the elderly or the homeless. Here’s a photo taken of The Doctor’s Charter School Choir at one of the homes from the annual Holiday Walk in Miami Shores - organized by The Heidi Hewes Chapter of The Woman’s Cancer Association of The University of Miami. It takes a lot of work and dedication from the organization as well as the gracious home owners, the volunteers and the sponsors. The event raises funds that go directly to cancer research. This year’s walk was dedicated in memory of Bob Hewes and Harry Greenberg. We can all make a difference, please think of how you can give back to your community.
MCM ONLINE WINTER AUCTION
LEMON SHORTBREAD, TOADSTOOL MARION.
MIAMI, SPEAK YOUR MIND! We welcome submissions to Tropical Mayhem. To get your business or item considered for publication, email a hi-res photograph and a description to kim@miamisunpost.com.
Check out the Miami Children’s Museum Winter auction. There are some very cool items up for bid. Stuff like B.B. King’s signed guitar, a trip to the Emmy’s or a private ride on a fighter jet. Not yet intrigued? How about a Limited Edition Hand Painted Mermaid by local artist Carlos Alves. Fabulous! Proceeds help fund the museum’s programs. To bid on the MCM goodies head to bluetreemarketing.com/miamichildrensmuseum. The auction ends December 30 at 6pm.
Page 4 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 5
PHOTO: MAGICALPHOTOS.COM / MITCHELL ZACHS
PEOPLE IN THE COMMUNITY YOU SHOULD KNOW
Andrew Rothschild Artistic Gourmand Compiled By Kim Steiner Who are you? A father, a husband, a Chef, and a businessman who believes in building up and giving back. What do you do in real life? Manage the day to day operations for my Company, Rothschild and Associates, LLC. Presently, Soho Studios at the Wynwood Convention Center and the start-up foods for events company, Art Gourmet, takes up most of my time. What is SAPAL? Soho Arts Pavilion and Lounge was established to provide a cool sophisticated space to support the local non- profit organization for the arts and emerging artist. The recently renovated 6,000 sq. foot space is outfitted with beautiful leather furniture, full service bar and art work from our participating sponsors directed by our Creative Director Ilana Vardy. What excites you most about what you do? I love being creative, my company gives me the opportunity to consult on new upcoming projects, reconceptualizing ongoing venues and creating events at Soho Studios or off site. It also provides access to some of the most interesting and creative people in the south Florida area. Our recent food service installation for Art Gourmet in the Scope/Art Asia tent looked so beautiful because of the creative talent of Dale Moore and his staff at WMEvents. That whole event was very exciting!
What Inspires you? I’m inspired by passion and integrity I see in others. I’m inspired by people who care. I’m inspired by the creativity and artistic talents of the emerging artists in the Miami- Wynnewood Community. Do you cook at home? My wife is a great cook and does the majority of the cooking at home. But I love to cook on the weekends; especially with my two daughters who are always coming up with a project like, making chocolate truffles, home-made marshmallow, sorbet pops or my favorite chocolate ganache cupcakes. What is your favorite food? Hagen Daz coffee ice cream Best restaurants in town, hands down? My favorite restaurants to dine are Sugar Cane, BLT and 954 Steak. They all have one thing in common, great young Chefs who really care. How would you describe your personal style? Casual, sophisticated and relaxed. This transcends into the kitchen where I like to “keep it simple”.
in a kitchen for the last 25 until I started my new company. Now I have the opportunity to go out on a Saturday night. That is the biggest change. What dream have you had that you have accomplished? I always dreamed of having a successful well respected fine dining restaurant. I did that in Chicago with The Marc. Now I dream of seeing the Wynwood community being the cultural and entertainment center of Miami. If you had to move to a deserted island what 2 items would you take? That’s easy; all the guilty pleasures with regards to food are for me have to do with pork. So I would take a pig and some single batch bourbons to drink. Something new, that you have just discovered about yourself? I can lose weight by eating more! What are your guilty pleasures? Hagen daz Coffee Ice Cream, Single batch bourbons and driving fast – but not all at the same time of course! One luxury that you cannot live without? iphone
What do you do now, that you did not do 5 years ago? Spend my evenings at home with the family. I really didn’t realize what I missed as a Chef
Page 6 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
Three Words to describe you? optimist, dedicated, loyal
EXPERT ALTERATIONS PARKING IN THE REAR
Shoe Repairs & Shoe Shine
9835 NE 2nd Avenue, Miami Shores 305.757.8386 Mon-Fri: 8am - 6pm Sat: 8am - 4pm
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 7
Can He Say That? COLUMN
Come to Jamaica Now, Mon – It’ll be Gone in 70 Years By Charles Branham-Bailey sobefla@gmail.com
Another regrettable casualty of last month’s midterms, in which millions of stupid voters chose to sit on their asses and stay home while even stupider ones turned out to dial back America’s advance into the 21st Century: climate change prevention. I thought you’d like to know that your new GOP-controlled House leadership – faster than another teardrop could slide down John Boehner’s orange tan face – is scrapping the House Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming. The Dems created it in 2007 to explore climate change and offer solutions, like capping carbon emissions. While the select committee didn’t pass legislation, it did hold hearings. That will now end when the new Congress convenes next month. You see, it just doesn’t fit in with the Republicans’ Don’t Worry Be Happy (We’re Holding the Purse Strings and Will Be Doling Out the Tax Cuts to the Wealthiest of You Soon and Don’t Fret None About That Doomy-Gloomy Deficit Yada-Yada) agenda. Besides that, the knuckle-dragging cretins don’t believe climate change anyway. One feel of last and this weeks’ bone-chilling cold spells here in the Sunshine State should be sufficient to dispel doubt in any rational sentient being, but of course we’re talking here of Republicans. Perhaps this mouth-gaping bulletin may sway them: A new report released at last week’s U.N. Climate Change conference in Cancun predicts that rising sea levels from global ice melting will wreak damage to the Caribbean to the tune of billions of dollars by 2080. The bottom line: Book your Caribbean vacations now, folks, for there won’t be much of anything left to see in 70 years save for some coconut trees still protruding from the Caribbean Sea. Airports, power plants, roads, agricultural land in low-lying areas – all will be lost or severely affected. Over 300 “premium” tourist resorts (think The Atlantis luxury resort in the Bahamas) would be wiped out. Of those, 149 are multi-milliondollar tourist magnets. How much of a rise in sea level are we talking here? A meter. “Highly likely” by century’s end. By then, the cost of the damage and rebuilding
for the 15 CARICOM countries could reach a titanic $187 billion – with a “b”. By that time, the cataclysmic impact will have simultaneously hit home here – and Krome Avenue likely will have become the new “Ocean Drive”. Also, by that time – as the tidal waters of the rising Potomac consume their expensive wingtip shoes and soak their socks – the Republicans on Capitol Hill might just – might – have come around to acknowledging the obvious.
I
T’S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A CELEBRATION,” our governor-elect has proclaimed – so while over a million Floridians are out of work, hundreds of thousands more have either given up looking or are working part-time, and untold numbers are being foreclosed on, or being relegated to living in their cars or cardboard boxes, Slick Scott is fast at it, raking in the loot for his inaugural festivities, galas, and assorted bashes. Slick vows to tackle the state’s financial and employment woes, but all that evidently will have to wait till the second day of his term. On the first day, though, a different priority: Party time! Now, he could do the politically-correct thing and opt to scale back the size and cost of his celebration, or do away with the fancy-shmancy stuff altogether. As Charlie Crist decided to do in 2006: He cancelled his inaugural ball because he thought it would send a wrong message at a time when Floridians were hurting. Slick must be oblivious to the sufferings of the middle class. The people’s pain certainly won’t be allowed to intrude on his inauguration, and it certainly hasn’t impeded his efforts to scrounge up donations from fat-cat friends and corporate interests eager to fund his lavish coronation and count the new guv as their new friend in Tallahassee. Already he’s raised nearly two mil, over twice what Crist raked in for his shindig. And the secrecy-preferring Slick won’t tell how much he intends to raise. So typical of a guy who wouldn’t submit himself to the questioning of state newspaper editorial boards during the campaign. Or – get ready, he’s about to trot this one out yet again – who took the Fifth 75 times during the Columbia/HCA Healthcare mess.
Page 8 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
Some of those who’ve written out checks for the maximum-allowed $25,000? U.S. Sugar. Blue Cross Blue Shield. Health Management Associates. United Automobile Insurance. TECO Energy. Progress Energy. Wayne Huizenga. Huizenga Holdings. AT&T. On Inaugural Night, as the fat cats are inside rubbing elbows and partying it up with he-whobrung-’em-to-the-dance, the rest of us will be pressing our noses against the windows, hoping someone will be good enough to toss us some crumbs. No thank you, but jobs and prosperity would be nice. And Slick: Just be sure you don’t stay up too late hobnobbing with the fat cats. Remember, you’ve got to rest up for that Second Day and the 1,400-some days that follow. You’ve got to get down to work for the rest of us, fulfilling those campaign pledges and forging that “path to prosperity” you promised. And should you fail? This’ll be the first, last, and only inaugural you’ll ever celebrate.
M
Y GARGANTUAN PINK ART BASEL SNAIL was gone when I looked for it last Friday. They moved him from my ‘hood and relocated him. To the edge of the Miami Beach Golf Course, along Dade Blvd., I suspect, for that’s where I later found five snails in a row while out for a morning bike ride. I’m happy to report he escaped unscathed by the graffiti taggers and other creeps while in my vicinity. He and his 44 homies leave town after New Year’s. If the Cracking Art Group is short of concepts for next year’s Basel, may I suggest blue squirrels. Or purple geckos. Or white elephants (scratch that; the Jackie Gleason Theater management is doing their damnedest to provide us that). emo to Community Newspapers (South Miami-based publisher of Miami Beach News, that new bimonthly which
M
reads more like a self-congratulatory newsletter put out by the Miami Beach Chamber of Commerce – oh, wait – it is a paper that is published “in cooperation” with the Chamber, as its masthead proclaims): That half-page ad on page 27 of your Dec. 1-15 issue? The one touting a chance to win a $100 gift certificate if we sign up for a Community Newspapers e-newsletter? Check the expiration date in your ad copy – Nov. 30. And on page 3, the $200-off coupon for an electric bicycle? That, too, Nov. 30. And on page 38, the $89 Swedish massage special at a local spa? Valid through Nov. 30. If MBN seems Jerry Libbin-centric, it’s because the Beach commissioner moonlights as the chamber’s president and CEO. In a recent issue, Libbin was mentioned on eight of 40 pages, had his mug pictured 6 times (3 times on one page), and posted his own regular feature, “Commissioner’s Column” (shouldn’t that, for the sake of full disclosure, read, “Commissioner/Chamber President/CEO’s Column”?). His colleagues on the dais must be envious of all his positive press coverage. Apparently, get yourselves a joint gig as chamber prez and you, too, can get lots of ink in the MBN! All the best to an ailing friend, longtime local broadcast titan Neil Rogers. We sure miss your unmatched erudition, wit, and sass on our airwaves. You left radio too soon, most unceremoniously, but left on top. Better than any doctor’s antidote: Somebody install a slot machine by his sick bed and hook him up with a live feed of all the harness races at Woodbine, Gulfstream, and elsewhere. That other witty Rogers – Will – once said, “We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.” Thanks, “Uncle” Neil, for supplying us a generous share.
Politics COLUMN
There’s no Joy in Mudville Mighty Jorge Has Struck Out By Jeffrey Bradley
If the Rule of Three obtains—in our book it surely does—as in, Three strikes, yer out! (or in for third-time felons); three-leaf clovers (you lose); or Selichah, the Biblical three strikes of forgiveness—then the City Manager’s time has come. Time is like sand in an hourglass. It finally runs out. How so? In politics, as in life, actions have consequences. And the Rule of Three demands that continued transgressions be called to account. In this case our city manager, George Gonzalez, one for hitting safely, stepped up to the plate and whiffed over successive political screwgies. Strike One: the departed-away Ms Curry, Cynthia, by name, was, for the city manager—how
Miami-Dade Homeless Trust Meter Campaign, Jon Secada unveiled his sponsored meter in South Beach last week. The Homeless Awareness Meters and Super Meters, designed by artist Romero Britto, will be placed in high-traffic areas around Miami-Dade County in addition to the ones that have already been unveiled by the Homeless Trust during the past year. The goal for these meters is to collect some of the millions of dollars in spare change that are currently being handed out to panhandlers each year. The funds collected by these meters will support the addition of new beds and indoor meal programs to provide food and shelter to people in a dignified manner. The event took place on the corner of Lincoln Road and Washington Ave. 10 additional meters were installed on the Miami Beach by The Miami-Dade Homeless Trust, as part of Homeless Awareness Day which took place December 9.
shall we say it?—a fiasco. From jump street, l’affaire Curry was handled with singular ineptness. How could such a supposedly astute politician be snookered so easily? His defense of having no idea she was under investigation for financial impropriety was strictly, you know, ham-on-cheese. The term, we believe, is willful ignorance. Which has no place at all in a position that pays a ton of money for making good decisions. To the end, with her ship dead in the water and listing, he reiterated unqualified support. Public outrage was palpable to this tone-deaf imbroglio smacking of steamroller tactics employed by the County where the will of the people is pfttt. To date, there has been no LTC explaining her departure, or even if
SEEN:
she is gone. Like Hydra’s heads, you can’t lop off a political problem without two more replacing it. Strike Two: Recently, the CIP (capital improvement projects) Director went fisticuffs with another city employee. Seems Charles Carreno and Emanuel Mayer, special assistant to the city manager on capital projects, scuffled over who really runs the show. And while we’re not adverse to pistols at dawn or a barroom brawl in settling disputes, who knew that such mayhem occurred down at City Hall? Apparently, the City Manager, for one—and anyone else who ran afoul of the irascible Mr Carreno. For some little time, reports have dribbled in from the 17th Street Irregulars (our spies, column-fives and iconoclasts hanging around the levers of power) that the Director possesses a flamethrower temper capable of clearing a room quicker’n a can of capsaicin spray. And all this was known to George Gonzalez when he set about hiring him. Maybe it was just bad luck. Maybe. Strike Three: The City Manager not long ago reported Commissioners Tobin and Weithorn to the Miami-Dade Ethics Commission, who took them in tow. A report purloined by the Irregulars reveals a vexing tale of graft and rascality that quickly devolves into little else than a call to more closely hew to the Sunshine Law. Whatever the merits of these allegations (note to Commissioner Weithorn: It’s just politics) there seems a lot of folderol over nothing. Or something. One surmise? The City Manager is hanging on by the thinnest of threads, with this method of marginalizing two possible nay votes revealing a desperate political hardball. Could it mean he was just a vote or two shy of hitting the bricks with his golden parachute? There’s probably nothing sinister about all this, tho’ the trend is a little disturbing. These awkward gyrations from a man who consistently maintains a milquetoast veneer are startling. Has his deft touch left him? Has he been tainted by that Miami arrogance, ala “I’m guilty but innocent” Ms Curry? Or does this cavalier high-handedness bespeak a to-hell-with-it attitude of a man with one foot on a bar of Ivory and the other on a banana peel? (We remember seeing the City Manager speak on behalf of streetcars once to a packed commission gallery before crumpling like wet cardboard when ex-Mayor Dermer shot him a glare. Perhaps there’s a touch of the-mouse-thatroared here, after all.) As Goldfinger said to Bond, “Once is happenstance; twice coincidence. The third time is enemy action.” Where’s Oddjob when we need him?
PICK UP YOUR COPY OF THE SUNPOST AT THESE LOCATIONS:
MIAMI BEACH Miami Beach City Hall Miss Yip Davids Cafe Books & Books Score Panfiore SB Finest Carwash Uncle Sam’s Music Manolo Normandy Gym Majestic Properties Georges Picnic Restaurant 11th Street Diner Magnum Lounge Bistro 555
MIAMI Andiamo Balans Magnum Bagels & Co Ascot Outoor Furniture A&A Village Treasures Mooies Ice Cream Parlor Design District Post Office Miami Shores Library Miami Shores City Hall North Miami Post Office Stembridge Furniture Majestic Properties Lorenzo’s Adams Veterinary Clinic Daily Creative Food Company
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CARRY THE SUNPOST IN YOUR BUSINESS PLEASE EMAIL kim@miamisunpost.com
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 9
COVER STORY
e Tre ’ n i l l Fa
IF A TREE FALLS ON MIAMI BEACH, WOULD ANYONE HEAR IT? YOU BET. Written by Michael W. Sasser Contributing Writer
I
If a tree falls on Miami Beach, would anyone hear it. If that tree is an Australian Pine; if it falls on historic Pine Tree Drive; and if “anyone” consists of local preservation leaders and concerned citizens — the answer is a resounding “yes.” The signature trees that canopy Pine Tree Drive are in trouble and city and county figures have begun the process to try and determine how to preserve the city-designated historic roadway’s most beloved feature. “It’s like the clock is ticking on all of them,” said Herb Sosa, chairman of the Miami Beach Historic Preservation Board. While it might be easy for motorists to take the scenic, shady roadway and the trees that are its namesake for granted, their condition has come into the spotlight since one large tree — seemingly randomly — fell late this fall. As it turned out, that falling tree was not a random act illustrating the chaos factor. A subsequent examination of the fallen tree and of the nearly 300 other Australian pine trees (which, technically, are not even actual pine trees) lining the road south of 41st Street revealed that the entire stock is in serious trouble. “Apparently of the nearly 300 trees originally
planted by John Collins, over a third have been preliminarily determined to be diseased,” Sosa said. Making the matter worse, subsequent research including an official study conducted by the City of Miami Beach and discussed this week at Tuesday’s Historic Preservation Board meeting, confirms that the average life expectancy of an Australian pine tree is 40-50 years. “These are close to 100 years old,” Sosa said. In 1910, John Collins planted Australian pines as a windbreak to protect his young avocado and mango groves. Many of the same pines still stand along what has become Pine Tree Drive. The city’s tree expert says there is decay in the roots and trunks of 32 percent of the 295 pines in the median of Pine Tree Drive. The city’s report was submitted to the Historic Preservation Board because the roadway between 30th and 46th Streets is designated an Historic District — including the trees. But the HPB is just one of the parties that will be involved in seeking a solution to the burgeoning problem. Miami-Dade County is involved because the street is actually a county
Page 12 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
road, according to Tom Mooney, Miami Beach Planning Department’s design and preservation manager. “It’s a county road even though it has the city’s historic designation,” Mooney said.
to balance preservation with public safety.” Other related issues further cloud the matter. The scenic canopy and shade provided by the existing trees certainly positively impacts property values of houses on Pine Tree Drive. Also, the
“The signature trees that canopy Pine Tree Drive are in trouble and city and county figures have begun the process to try and determine how to preserve the city-designated roadway’s most beloved feature.” Eventually, the HPB would submit a report to the Miami Beach City Commission, and then whatever action is taken would be a collaborative effort between the city and the country. But whatever action is eventually taken is some time off. “It’s inevitable that something has to be done and I’d rather consider it sooner rather than later,” said Miami Design Preservation League (MDPL) Chair Charlie Urstadt. “No one wants to wake up one morning and find the pine trees on Pine Tree Drive just gone. My concern is that we must consider a long-term solution and we want the city to preserve the integrity of the road for as long as possible while working on a solution.” A similar sentiment was broadcast to the city and county at this week’s HPB meeting. “The next step is for four or five trees to be dissected to determine the level of disease,” Sosa said. He added that while he expects an update of some sort to be presented by county staff in January, he does not know if the “autopsy” results will be available at that time. Sosa also has deep preservation concerns, but he said that public safety should and will be the number one priority. “Obviously everyone is concerned about the safety of individuals and of drivers,” Sosa said. “But its also a designated historic roadway and everything is protected including the trees. It’s really the same issues as with a building — how
tree roots have created bumps and occasional lesions on the road and a complete repair would likely require the roots be cut, harming the trees. Raising Pine Tree Drive’s surface would elevate it several feet over adjacent streets. However, the most complicated and vexing issue — the one that prevents a simple and obvious solution that might be a no-brainer were it not the case — is that it is highly unlikely that the Australian pine trees could ever be replaced by other, younger Australian pine trees. “Australian pine trees are considered an invasive species by the State of Florida,’ Sosa said. Australian pines are not indigenous to Florida and well after Collins had planted them on Miami Beach (and after Miami Beach planted a few elsewhere in the city, including Flamingo Park), the State determined that their proliferation could negatively impact other, native species. “If it was determined, and it’s a big ‘if,’ that the trees needed to be replaced, it would be a serious issue that you can’t plant Australian pines in Florida,” Sosa said. Sosa said that there is precedent for a waiver to permit the re-planting of even invasive species. “An argument could be made that we are so urban that there [would be no impact of replanting],” Sosa said. “You don’t see a lot of [indigenous] seedlings around. But we aren’t at that point yet.”
Such a possible waiver also presents an environmental concern. “If they trees have to be replaced it would be ideal to replace the with Australian pines, but we’re told by law that’s not possible,” Urstadt said. “There is precedent for a special dispensation but environmental laws are there for a reason and they also are there for public safety.” Still Urstadt said he knows other (and actual) pine trees don’t provide the extent of canopy and shade that do Australian pine trees. “We’ve gotten the indication that it won’t be possible to replace Australian pine trees with Australian pine trees, but it’s not completely out of the question,’” Sosa said. Sosa, though, made it clear that this process has really just begun; and that the tree that fell several months ago might be a gift in that it helped prompt the start of the process sooner, rather than later.
“I don’t think it’s a pressing emergency right now, which is fine with me,” Urstadt said. He too is glad that the discussion is underway and that there is no “enemy” in the debate. “It’s a beautiful street and everyone wants it to stay that way,” Urstadt said.
“No one’s intention is to not have Pine Tree Drive grand and beautiful — it is, after all ‘Pine Tree’ Drive,” Sosa said.
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 13
Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK
IDINA MENZEL
Page 14 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
MIAMI CITY BALLET’S NUTCRACKER
December 17 FILM Undertow Colombian actor Manolo Cardona will attend both screenings of the opening night of his new film Undertow (Contra corriene). He is one of the most recognized actors in Latin America, having been part such blockbusters as La Mujer de mi Hermano, Rosario Tijeras, and Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Stay for the Q & A after. Red-carpet reception will at 6:30pm. Bacardi sponsored bar and Peruvian munchies from Pardo's Chicken. $5 to $9. Coral Gables Cinema, 260 Aragon Ave, Coral Gables. For info: gablescinema.com or 786-385-9689
December 17 ART Joaquin Gonzalez
December 16 COMEDY Steve-O Catch Steve-O of Jackass fame when he hits town for a series of performances over the weekend. If you find self-inflicted torture funny, then this is the show for you. 8pm $25. Miami Improv, 3390 Mary St, Coconut Grove. For info: improv.com
December 16 BOOKS Linda Gassenheimer In her new book The Flavors of the Florida Keys, author Linda Gassenheimer traveled everywhere from waterfront beach shacks to resort dining rooms. Along the way, she has collected the stories behind the recipes. Taste several of the recipes from book prepared by Chef Allen Susser. Tickets for the reception with signed copy of the book - $40/Reception only - $20. 8pm. Books and Books, 265 Aragon Ave, Coral Gables. For info: booksandbooks.com
December 16 ART Winter Holiday Show Check out the work of some of Miami's finest local artists in a group show at the Mimo Art Gallery. The Winter Holiday Show will showcase the works of Janine Alter, Eduardo Da Rosa, Sandra Garcia, Marguerite Gil, Alan Hurwitz, Aurelia Majorel, Daniel Marosi, PJ Mills, Janet Paparelli and Joe Parker. Opening reception 7pm. Meet the artists. Mimo Art Gallery, 730 NE 79th St., Miami. For info: 305310-5308.
The New works of artist Joaquin Gonzalez will be showing at the Galerie Carré rouge. Gonzalez's current artwork is the result of his observations during various trips to ethnically diverse communities of the Amazon. Through January 7. Opening reception with the artist at 7pm. Free. Alliance Française South Florida, 618 SW 8th S., Miami. For info: afmiami.org or 305-859-8760.
December 17 DANCE The Nutcracker George Balanchine's The Nutcracker is a magical treat for young and old. Miami City Ballet's production boasts beautiful sets, lavish costumes and magical special effects. A large cast of talented children from the Miami-Dade area join MCB's international ballet stars to present a holiday treat for the entire family. 7:30pm. Ziff Ballet Opera House, 1300 Biscayne Blvd, miami. For info: miamicityballet.org
December 17 SPORT Boxing Bouts Undefeated Cuban Olympic heavyweight gold medalist Odlanier Solis will face the toughest test of his young career when he fights No. 1-ranked Ray Austin with the winner earning the right to next face WBC heavyweight champion Vitali Klitschko. Undefeated light heavyweight champion Tavoris Cloud will appear in the cofeatured bout, defending his crown against Colombian Fulgencio Zuniga. 6pm. $37.80 $200. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd; Miami. For info: aaa.com
December 17
SAVE THE DATE:
SOCIAL Laugh for Sight
SUNDAY, JANUARY 16, 2010
Catch comedians Jim Breuer, Rich Vos, Brian Fischler and Bonnie McFarlane at the first-ever Laugh for Sight Comedy benefit. The fundraising event will begin at 7pm cocktails with the comics. Show at 8pm. Proceeds to benefit the Scheie Eye Institute and Guiding Eyes for the Blind. $50 for show. $100 for VIP including cocktails. The Ritz-Carlton, One Lincoln Road, South Beach. For info: 786-276-4176.
December 17 MUSIC Idina Menzel To promote her newest album Idina Menzel, singer, actress, Tony Award winner, Idina Menzel will perform a one-night-only show in Palm Beach. Expect songs from Glee and other faves. 8pm. Kravis Center, 701 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach. For info: idinamenzel.com.
Drumline Live THE SHOW-STOPPING, EAR-POPPING, DRUMLINE LIVE, BRINGS BLACK MARCHING BAND TRADITION TO THE THEATRICAL STAGE. FEATURING A LARGE CAST OF COLORFUL AND FLAMBOYANT PERFORMERS FROM AMERICA’S TOP HISTORICALLY BLACK COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES, THE PRODUCTION SHOWCASES THE ROUSING AND RHYTHMIC SOUNDS OF THE GREAT BRASS PAST INCLUDING EARTH, WIND, AND FIRE AND TOWER OF POWER SIDE BY SIDE WITH THE HOTTEST CONTEMPORARY HIP HOP AND R&B. THE STIRRING SOUND OF TRUMPETS, EXPLOSIVE CHOREOGRAPHY, AND INCREDIBLE FEATS OF ATHLETICISM ARE A HUGE WOW FACTOR. BUT THE HEART OF THE SHOW IS UNQUESTIONABLY THE TALENTED GROUP OF AFRICAN AMERICAN PERCUSSIONISTS WHO FORM THE DRUMLINE. $40-$65. 7PM. KNIGHT CONCERT HALL, 1300 BISCAYNE BLVD. MIAMI. FOR INFO: ARSHTCENTER.ORG. www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 15
Calendar WHAT TO DO IN MIAMI THIS WEEK
JEAN DOMINIQUE JOAN JETT
December 18
December 19
ART How Soon Now
LECTURE Life in the Catskills
How Soon Now will feature over thirty of the world’s most compelling contemporary artists including Cecily Brown, Thea Djordjadze, Huan Yong Ping and David Wojnarowicz. This exhibition, occupying 27 galleries, will show paintings, sculptures, photographs and videos never before exhibited in the Foundation. $10 for adults, $5 for students and kids. Rubell Family Collection, 95 NW 29th St; Miami. For info: rfc.museum
Dr. Robert Bookbinder will talk on life in the Catskills where he grew up and ran a summer camp until 1965. In conjunction with the Museum's current exhibit, Last Days of the Four Seasons, a documentary about a bungalow colony in the Catskills created by Holocaust survivors. 2pm. Free with Museum admission. Jewish Museum of Florida, 301 Washington Avenue, South Beach. For info: 786-972-3175 or jewishmuseum.com.
December 18
December 20
MUSIC Messiah
ART The Grand Show
Seraphic Fire and the Firebird Chamber Orchestra return to the Knight Concert Hall to give their annual performance of Handel's Messiah, featuring the ever-popular Hallelujah Chorus! 8pm. $15 $150. Knight Concert Hall, 1300 Biscayne Blvd, Miami. For info: arshtcenter.org
Catch the amazing work of Fernando Botero in an exhibition, The Grand Show a comprehensive and chronological assortment of more than 100 paintings, sculpture and drawings from the acclaimed Colombian Master dating from the 1950s to the present day. Also on show in the gallery is Enrique Martínez Celaya: Selected Work 1992-2010, a rich and chronological compendium of significant paintings, sculptures, and drawings from all of Celaya's major projects. Gary Nader Fine Art, 62 NE 27th St, Miami. For info: 305-576-0256 or garynader.com
December 18 MUSIC Joan Jett Legndary rocker Joan Jett will play one night in Miami at Magic City Casino. $15-$100. 8pm. Magic City Casino, 450 NW 37th Ave; Miami. For info: magiccitycasino.com
December 19
STEVE-0 BOTERO, EQUILIBRISTA
ART Good and Plenty A group show of current and alumni artists from the studios of ACSF. Exhibiting artists include Ellie Schneiderman, Luis Gispert, the TM Sisters and Edouard Duval-Carrié to name a few. Through January 2. ArtCenter/South Florida, 924 Lincoln Road, Suite 205; Miami Beach. For info: artcentersf.org
December 19 FILM The Agronomist In conjunction with Bruce Weber’s Haiti/Little Haiti exhibit, MOCA will screen The Agronomist, a film about assassinated journalist and radio DJ, Jean Dominique. The film by Jonathan Demme documents Dominique's life. 2pm. $5. Museum of Contemporary Art, 770 NE 125th St., North Miami. For info: mocanomi.org Page 16 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
FOR KIDS Friday December 17 Peter Pan
TAKE THE KIDS TO SEE THIS WONDERFUL CHILDREN’S PRODUCTION FROM MIAMI CHILDRENS THEATER. THE BELOVED TALE OF THE “BOY WHO WOULDN’T GROW UP,” COMES TO LIFE IN THE CLASSIC TALE OF PETER PAN. ONE NIGHT IN THE DARLING NURSERY, PETER PAN AND TINKERBELL FLY IN THROUGH THE WINDOW AND WHISK WENDY AND HER BROTHERS OUT INTO THE NIGHT. OFF THEY GO TO THE ISLAND OF NEVERLAND, WHERE THE CHILDREN ENCOUNTER THE LOST BOYS, THE EXOTIC PRINCESS TIGER LILY AND THE DREADFUL CAPTAIN HOOK. THE ADVENTURE COMES TO A CLIMAX WHEN CAPTAIN HOOK CAPTURES THE DARLING CHILDREN AND THE LOST BOYS, TINKERBELL IS IN TROUBLE, AND PETER PAN MUST FACE THE EVIL PIRATE TO SAVE HIS FRIENDS. PETER PAN HAS BEEN LOVED BY GENERATIONS PAST AND IS NOW BROUGHT TO A NEW GENERATION TO LOVE AND CHERISH. $10-$15. CORAL GABLES YOUTH CENTER THEATER, 405 UNIVERSITY DRIVE, CORAL GABLES. FOR INFO: MIAMICHILDRENSTHEATER.COM OR 305-274-3595.
TRUSTED
$3.00 OFF HAND CAR WASH Not combined with other offer
$15.00 OFF HAND CAR WAX Not combined with other offer
$15.00 OFF A FULL CAR WINDOW TINTING Not combined with other offer
$25.00 OFF FULL DETAIL Not combined with other offer
MVR #25108466
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 17
Cinema
THE TOURIST
REVIEW
Against the Tide By Ruben Rosario (ruben@sunpostweekly.com) Ah, magical realism. What a wonderful literary device. On celluloid it’s quite another story. Dozens of filmmakers have tried, with varying degrees of success, to capture that elusive mix of matter-of-fact naturalism and whimsical flights of fancy that have turned Latin American novels like Isabel Allende’s The House of the Spirits and Laura Esquivel’s Like Water for Chocolate into enduring works of fiction. Of the movie adaptations that ensued, only Alfonso Arau got it right when he brought Esquivel’s surreal tale of unrequited love from to the screen. This weekend, two major holiday releases attempt to incorporate elements of magical realism into their narratives, and two others take a more conventional approach. All four of them showcase well-known stars flexing their acting muscle by tackling roles with which we wouldn’t normally associate them. Call it the opening salvo of Awards Season 2010. We begin in Cabo Blanco, a village on the northern coast of Peru and the setting for Undertow, a comingout weepie involving a closeted fisherman, his pregnant wife, and the young hottie he sleeps with on the down low. The god-fearing folks of this fishing town pretend to look the other way when Miguel Salas (Cristian Mercado) goes out to “fix the nets.” What he’s really up to, naturally, are sun-baked trysts on the sand with handsome painter Santiago La Rosa (Colombian heartthrob Manolo Cardona). Hot sex is followed by stale, overly earnest bickering between the male lovers that ends with Santiago skulking away in a huff. He’s serious about their affair; he even has a nickname for Miguel’s penis (psst...it’s Panchito). Miguel, on the other hand, likes things just the way they are. At home, Micaela (Tatiana Astengo) wonders why her husband turns into a cold fish whenever a chance for some fun between the sheets comes up. As we eventually see, the feisty homemaker is nobody’s fool. The morning after the fight he had with Santiago, Miguel wakes up and becomes apoplectic when he discovers the aspiring artist inside his home. My heart sank when I realized that what Miguel was seeing was not his hunky playmate, but – wait for it – his ghost. Writer-director Javier Fuentes-León can’t seem to trust the bare essentials of his story, so he adds a supernatural twist that, for me, had the adverse effect of creating more distance between Santiago and the viewer. Cardona’s perfectly dreamy in the role, but the character amounts to little more than a walking metaphor with smoldering blue eyes. The high-concept tightrope Fuentes-León walks here reminded me, not so much of other romantic ghost stories like Doña Flor and Her Two Husbands or Anthony Minghella’s pre-English Patient dramedy Truly, Madly, Deeply, but of that cutesy 2005 Reese Witherspoon vehicle Just Like Heaven, in which her character appears in spectral form to her apartment’s new tenant, an architect played by Mark Ruffalo. “Come outside already,” Santiago says to assure
Miguel they can walk down the street safely hand in hand, and we get the message. It’s amusing to see the dead-lover shtick applied to a bisexual love triangle, and the earthy sensuality Cardona and Mercado exude in their scenes together makes Undertow‘s tired, twelvesteps-of-coming-out nature fairly easy to take. Coming on the heels of Haim Tabakman’s similarly themed – and far superior – Eyes Wide Open, though, FuentesLeón’s film, Peru’s entry for this year’s Foreign Language Oscar, feels even more like recycled
goods. Undertow‘s best asset by far is its local flavor, captured by cinematographer Mauricio Vidal and art director Diana Trujillo with such an eye for detail that it made me wish the film had relegated its main storyline to the back burner and focused more on portraying the leisurely lifestyles of Cabo Blanco’s other residents. Politically I’m all for Undertow. It’s bound to open up dialogue about its subject matter in places where the issues it covers are still verboten. I just feel there was a better film in here begging to come out. I wish Fuentes-León had dealt with his film’s supernatural elements with the chutzpah and delirious abandon Darren Aronofsky displays to the nth degree in his nutso spellbinder Black Swan. This intense psychological thriller pulls out all the stops to tell the story of Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman, on fire), a gifted ballerina longing to play the lead in her New York-based company’s production of Swan Lake. Her domineering mother (Barbara Hershey), an artist and retired dancer, couldn’t be prouder when Nina tells her that Thomas, her director (Vincent Cassel), has decided to go with her as the Swan Queen. Never mind the strange rash that starts appearing on her back, or the fact that her rigorous dance technique, as tightly wound as the bun in which she ties her hair, prevents her from tapping into the dark sensuality her dual starring role demands. Enter Lily (Extract ‘s Mila Kunis), a San Francisco transplant who tries to befriend our leading lady but who might have (cue ominous music) ulterior motives. The grueling rehearsals begin taking their toll. (It doesn’t help that Thomas’s unorthodox teaching methods include impulsive French kissing. “Go home and touch yourself, he instructs. The perv.) As Nina slowly unravels, the film, which comes across as a cross between Ingmar Bergman’s Persona and David Cronenberg’s The Fly, goes off the deep end along with its heroine. Down the rabbit hole. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Nina starts seeing what appears to be her doppelganger everywhere she looks. Aronofsky accentuates these scenes with some
Page 18 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
truly unsettling sound effects. He places you inside the mind of this delusional ingenue so that when she’s performing, we’re literally placed right next to her. (Kudos to Matthew Libatique for his visceral camerawork.) Aronofsky fuses the naturalistic style of The Wrestler, his previous film, with the baroque visuals of his misbegotten love story The Fountain. (How silly was that film? During the climax it had Hugh Jackman sprouting tree leaves from his mouth!) I kept waiting for Black Swan to take a chill pill, especially towards the end. Kunis provides what little levity the movie has, and it could used a lot more. There’s also a frustrating lack of spontaneity in the way Aronofsky constructs a parallel between his story and Tchaikovsky’s ballet. Once we realize what’s really going on, the pieces fall too neatly into place, and the resolution becomes a selffulfilling prophecy. Holding this wild ride together by the skin of her teeth is Portman, who surrenders herself to the part with unhinged ardor. She gleans order out of Aronofsky’s chaos, and turns Black Swan into a wickedly sensuous fairy tale for grown-ups. Portman’s likely awards companion, Christian Bale, does a nifty disappearing act of his own opposite Mark Wahlberg in the gritty boxing drama The Fighter. As real-life Boston-based trainer Dicky Eklund, the Dark Knight star sheds his inhibitions along with the pounds to deliver a galvanizing portrait of a crack addict whose former glory has fallen by the wayside. The story pivots on Dicky’s baby brother Micky Ward (Wahlberg), a welterweight who suddenly finds himself on the comeback trail. Director David O. Russell (Three Kings) opts for a vérité approach, and as long as the film delves on the cutthroat politics of the boxing world, The Fighter rocks. Unfortunately, the filmmaker devotes way too much screen time to Micky’s domestic troubles. The clichés pile up fast and furious as Micky contends with Dicky and his mother/manager Alice (Frozen River‘s Melissa Leo, channeling Edie Falco) over which trajectory his career should take. For much of its running time, the film feels like something Billy Walsh, the temperamental auteur from HBO’s Entourage, would direct, minus that show’s self-referential satirical edge. Despite an abundance of eye-rolling moments, though, Bale’s phenomenal work leads to a rousing climax that provides just
enough of a payoff for The Fighter to merit your attention. The audience at the preview screening I attended cheered heartily at the end. I was left wanting to see more sparring, less kitchen-table squabbling. Noisy as they often are, The Fighter‘s shouting matches are vastly preferable to this month’s critics’ punching bag: The Tourist. With a $17 million dollar gross over the weekend, the Hollywood debut of German director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (2006 Foreign Language Oscar winner The Lives of Others) is currently the nation’s second highest grossing release. It’s number two, all right, a rancid slice of Eurocheese with all the momentum of a funeral procession. All the elements are in place for a frothy spy caper. Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie’s considerable star wattage? Check. Lush photography and exquisite Venice locales? Secured. A screenplay worked on by three Oscar winners? Call the Academy. So why does the damn thing feel dead on arrival? Blame Henckel von Donnersmarck, who shows zero flair for creating suspense. The story of mild mannered college math teacher Frank Tupelo (Depp), an American tourist vacationing in Europe, and Elise (Jolie), the mysterious lady on the train who seizes an opportunity to pass this putz off as a wanted thief to Interpol, must have seemed like a foolproof idea on paper. But I put my stethoscope on this movie’s chest, and I did not detect a pulse. Depp’s milquetoast routine wears out its welcome within the first 15 minutes, Jolie’s stiff as a mannequin as she models some classy attire, and the film features a plot twist so ludicrous that it made me want to throw a brick at the screen. Don’t waste your time on this lifeless slog, but feel free make fun of it all you want. It does the heart good. As if this weren’t enough for South Florida moviegoers, this weekend marks the South Florida debut of Olivier Assayas’s Carlos, the Summer Hours director’s biopic of Venezuelan terrorist Ilich Ramírez Sánchez, aka Carlos the Jackal. The uncut five-and-a-half-hour version, originally made for French TV, screens this weekend only at the Bill Cosford Cinema. Those of you who can’t be bothered with such a marathon may opt to wait until the twoand-a-half hour Cliffs Notes edition screens next weekend, also at the Bill Cosford Cinema. For more information go to cosfordcinema.com. My review of Carlos will run next month, when it’s slated to screen at the Miami Beach Cinematheque. Undertow starts this Friday at the Coral Gables Art Cinema. Manolo Cardona is scheduled to attend Friday’s showings and will be available for Q & A sessions following each screening. For more information go to coralgablescinemateque.org. Black Swan and The Fighter also start Friday at area theaters. Should I begin taking bets as to how long it takes for The Tourist to exit theaters? On that note, happy holidays!
Bound
Dance
COLUMN
COLUMN
In Praise of Sheer Beauty
Hubbard Street Dance Takes Over
Monica Bellucci Delivers the Goods – and Then Some
By Tiffany Hanan Madera Artburstmiami.com
By John Hood There are few things I dig better than pulling up to my 1923 bungalow and seeing a package awaiting me on my doorstep. When said package contains a book that’s as bold and as beautiful as Monica Bellucci (Rizzoli $60), well, let’s just say that the dig is compounded exponentially. Naturally, a collection of photographs featuring a dame as bewitching as Bellucci is sure to stir a savage Hoodlum. But this wham-bam assortment stirred me to the very marrow of my being. As you might suspect, the shots are as exquisite as the subject, and the shooters represent some of the keenest eyes in the biz. Among the many bold-faced photographers included in the mix are Peter Lindbergh, Helmut Newton, Fabrizio Ferri, Richard Avedon and Ellen von Unwerth. Any one of the aforementioned alone would be well worth the price of admission. Together they make for quite a big deal. But it’s, of course, Bellucci herself who makes this book all that it is and then some. The lovely lass, who joins the ranks of Sophia Loren and Gina Lollobrigida as the kinda Italian knockout that rouses the whole wild world, has that certain classical beauty which pushes emperors off ledges and brings empires to their knees. It’s stunning, to be sure, but it’s a stunning that’s backed by a depth and a knowing which is almost beyond beauty itself. Yes, we love her looks. But we love her looks more because there’s so much more to her. Bellucci has come a long way since the days she debuted as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover gal. Francis Ford Coppola made her one of the brides in his adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula; she was nominated for a Cesar Award in Gilles Mimouni’s L’Appartement; and there were star turns in such Hollywood fables as The Passion of the Christ and The Brothers Grimm, not to mention a double shot as Persephone in in the last two Matrix movies. Currently the world-class wonder is slated to scintillate the screen in Disney’s re-awakening of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, which springs from the animated classic Fantasia, and Fantasia and is based on both the 19th century symphonic poem by Paul Dukas and the 1797 ballad by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. In other words, it’s a storied story, one that threads through the ages and will undoubtedly be remembered tomorrow. Kinda like the gal herself, whose beauty remains immortal. Unless your name is Vincent Cassel, you will not have Monica Bellucci by your side this Christmas. But with this kickass collection of images in hand you can surely make believe. And isn’t that what the holiday is all about anyway?
Last Saturday was a great night. Hubbard Street Dance Chicago performed at the Adrienne Arsht Center to a full and captivated audience. The opening piece – “Tabula Rasa” — hit the button on Miami expectations and offered a landscape of movement and feeling so beautiful and captivating you could hear the silence of held breath and engorged eyes. The lighting was mystical, as dancers emerged from the darkness like ancestors guiding the living. Their forward motion and emergence moved out of the legs and into the heart in such a silent and powerful expression it reminded me of falling in love and losing it simultaneously. There was a palpable connection between the dancers, and deep within the abstraction of the choreography lived clarity and emotion. I loved when they shifted formations and duos and trios escaped into poignant and physical storytelling. Even outside of these specified and narrative outbursts, the dancers would look across at one another, seeing each other through the exquisite music of Arvo Part. Ohad Naharin’s choreography offered a second section where the dancers moved sideways across the stage, slowly shifting their weight in unison like a pendulum. It was clear we would be watching this for a while, but it only increased in captivation. As the chorus line grew in length and scientific precision, the audience was schooled in eastern practices of patience and self mastery — it was a transference of energy from the guru. Once the lesson was learned, elements of surprise were brought in with humor (as happened throughout the piece). I can’t say when or how, but when it ended I missed it. It was like reading the last few pages of One Hundred Years of Solitude. I wanted to stay there. My heart felt full. The other piece I enjoyed was “Blanco” — by resident choreographer and company member Alejandro Cerrudo. It took the audience on an interesting journey, as a quartet of women flowed in and out of the front stage and across, in intuitive, spiraling, and interactive choreographic moments. The piece created pleasurable tableaus and sequences, and communicated a distinct and unordinary femininity. Unfortunately, the evening ended with gunshots and jerky staccato experimentation. I felt like I was watching a Bauhaus dance performance outside the Georges Pompidou Center in Paris circa 1990. The piece held all of the technique and innovation Hubbard gave us throughout the evening, but devoid of the emotion. The musical score didn’t help with the industrial and gunshot sounds bringing the Pompidou to South Central. While this choreography didn’t resonate like the others, the Hubbard habit of developing in-house choreographers and bringing in world-class names provides a perfect mix and variety of artistic voices and energies with unparalleled technical mastery. The evening ended at a Berber Tent in an undisclosed Kendall location for the annual holiday party given by Joharah. Joharah only has one name, like Cher and Madonna. She is the long-time importer of all things bellydance and if you are lucky enough to receive her handwritten invitation by snail mail, you can enter this pop-up tent covered in Egyptian heyameyas, tall and brightly colored wall fabrics primarily used to celebrate the Prophet Mohamed’s birthday. The floors were covered in rich handmade carpets and the circumference bordered with plush Moroccan seating and embroidered pillows. The Arabic DJ took a break when musician and composer Mostafa Makki took out his Oud and local bellydance royalty Jihan Jamal performed for the crowd with a improvisational solo to Oum Kalthoum’s classic “Inta Omri.” After she transformed the room with her mastery, the DJ changed the vibe by playing “Sweet Home Alabama.” After some confusion with this choice, we got in a circle, shimmied, airguitared and sang along in unison. A real Miami night.
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 19
The 411
David Siguaw & Emilio Estefan at the opening of Bongo’s
Lili Estefan
Alexia Echevarria at Bongo’s
Candela Ferro
Jon Secada at the opening of Bongo’s
COLUMN
More Basel and Joy By Mary Jo Almeida-Shore maryjoshore@sunpostweekly.com
Jerry Opdenaker, Cricket Taplin, Paul Thrussell, Kandy Sandel at the Sagamore
Cricket Taplin, Olaf Breuning at the Sagamore brunch
As many of us complete our 12- step Art Basel recovery program, and begin to stress about New Year’s week (which, in the spirit of “If it’s worth doing it’s worth overdoing,”- lasts about a week), we know what you’re thinking…Art Basel- isn’t that LONG over?! Well to answer, “You didn’t really think we’d be able to cover all the fabulocity Basel has to offer in just one week, did you?” After all, it is the world’s biggest art show! So here are just a few more great events we didn’t get to last week- for sheer lack of space and strength. On Tuesday, November 30, Pamela Masik wowed her audience during her live interactive art performance set to music, “Awakening” at Downtown Miami’s Marquis Residences Sky Pool Deck, located on the 14th floor of the 67 story building. A selection of works from Masik’s Caged Bird series lined the walls which was the topic of conversation among the stylish guests, including: Alicia Cervera, Candela Ferro, Frank Amadeo, Iran Issa-Khan, Jonathan and Criselda Breene, Kothan Fernandez, Laura Buccelatti, Lori Ordover, Rainer Becker, Rik and Raquel Watters and Sam Robin to name a few. Masik’s Caged Bird collection includes a series of photos that convey the ideas of sexuality, boundaries, and the illusion of security. “I believe this series to be my most honest and personal work to date and hope it will strike a chord with the audience on many levels.” Those who missed this event still have a chance to check out the Masik pop-up gallery, which is open through December 17th in the Wynwood Arts District (50 NW 29th Street). On the same night, Benrimon Contemporary hosted an intimate dinner and cocktail party at Townhouse Hotel honoring New York artist Trey Speegle and his latest large-scale mural It’s Later than You Think, which was inspired by a 1950’s vintage paint-by-number panel of Leonardo da Vinci’s Last Supper. Dinner guests, Leon Benrimon, Lillian and David Benrimon, Patrick McMullan, Heidi Lee, Lady Monika Bacardi, Fred Bernstein and Petra Mason and husband Ausbert de Arce, were each given a brush and paint canister that corresponded to a number on the mural and were invited to paint on the canvas, under the careful eye of the artist and
Grela Orihuela, Marty Taplin at the Sagamore brunch
Page 20 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
gallery assistants, of course. After dinner, guests headed upstairs to the rooftop for the after party. Pop and multi-media artist, sculptor and urban realist, Miguel Paredes, held four exclusive events during Art Basel at three separate locations, starting on Wednesday, December 1 with an opening reception celebrating his Artist-in-Residency at the National Hotel on Miami Beach, which attracted more than 2700 guests who enjoyed beats by Buddha Bar’s DJ Sam Popat and cocktails by Bombay Sapphire. The following evening, Paredes hosted an intimate viewing with famed rock-photographer Danny Clinch debuting the duo’s collaborative work featuring musician Jack Johnson. On Friday and Saturday evenings, Paredes welcomed more than 3,000 visitors to Paredes Fine Art Gallery, treating them to great music by DJ Popat, complimentary cocktails and bites by RA Sushi South Miami. Leading Latin American art publication, ArtNexus threw its annual Art Basel bash at the posh ONE Bal Harbour Resort & Spa on Friday, December 3. Guests gathered around the pool deck, sipped champagne and cocktails courtesy of Grey Goose vodka and enjoyed delicious food stations. Some attendees curled up in plush fur blankets due the chilly weather. Partygoers including: ArtNexus Associate Publisher, Susanne Birbragher, Paulina Rubio, Ingrid Hoffman, Tui Pranich, Jorge Villamizar, Julio Le Parc, Juan and Jorge Arevalo, Susie and Walid Wahab, Daniel and Kathy Haime, Alejandro Grimaldi and Shari Liu enjoyed a musical performance by Jorge Villamizar. The next morning (or for some, “later that night”) over 2000 art collectors, art critics, artistic personalities, curators and art lovers from around the world converged at the Sagamore Hotel, for one of our favorite annual Art Basel events - the Sagamore Art Basel Brunch, now in its ninth year. The brunch was hosted by the hotel’s owners Martin and Cricket Taplin, along with host committee members Martin and Constance Margulies, The Bass Museum of Art, the Patricia & Phillip Frost Museum, Lowe Art Museum, Museum of Contemporary Art, Wolfsonian at Florida International University and
Ricky Martin leaving Cafeina
Miami Art Museum. The Sagamore Hotel unveiled selections from the Cricket Taplin Collection in an exhibit composed of video, painting, sound, photography, sculpture, performance and mixed media artwork throughout the week, including a fiberglass sculpture by Jorge Méndez Blake - There is No Easy Way from the Earth – which was installed in the hotel’s swimming pool. During the brunch the O Dance Company’s Paul Thrussell and Kandy Sandel performed an artistic water ballet show, choreographed by award winning choreographer Jerry Opdenaker. VIP guests in attendance at the Sagamore included artists Tom Lieber, Olaf Breuning, Emil Lukas, Mark Milloff, Spencer Tunick, Barbara Neijna, Jane Manus, Marc Ganzglass, Aaron Davidson, Melissa Dubbin, Robert Chambers, Liam Gillick, and Dahlia Morgan. Also in attendance: Mark Rosenthal, Curator of the Twentieth-Century Art, Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, Marion Boulton Stroud, Director of The Fabric Workshop and Museum, George Lindemann, Bonnie Clearwater, Kirk Landon & Pamela Garrison, Sylvia Karman Cubina, Sasha Erwitt, and many others. Later that night, Calix Gustav Gallery held a reception celebrating Flash, internationally acclaimed fashion illustrator and designer Barbara Hulanicki’s first state-side exhibit, comprised of a series of colorfully infused rock and fashion pictorials, which reflect the artist’s life experiences as well as her wild and free imagination, the exhibit also housed a grand, hot pink chandelier made of Bebe stilettos, wedges and platforms custom made by Hulanicki. Calix Gustav owner and curator Amanda Fernandez-Leon along with Hulanicki, artist Jonathan Stein and participating designer Metis Tarta of Esvedra Designs were on-hand for the festivities.
TOYS FOR TOTS AT TEMPLE HOUSE On Friday, December 10, local promoter Omar Gonzalez and Vice Mayor Michael Gongora headlined the 4th Annual Toys for Tots Toy Drive benefiting the Miami Children’s Hospital at Dan Davidson’s legendary Temple House. Over 500 toys were donated for children in need at this upscale private event. Notable guests such as Jorge Exposito, Louis Aguirre, Dan Sehres, Dr. Julio Gallo, Tony Ferro, Lauren Foster, and Elaine Lancaster enjoyed delicious cocktails and bites and were treated to a surprise performance of Christmas carols by our favorite local songstress, Maryel Epps. “The primary goal of this private reception is to make sure no child gets left behind this Christmas” said Vice Mayor Gongora, who will
Maryel Epps and Dan Sehres at Toys For Tots at Temple House
Luis Aguirre with Santa
be personally delivering the toys to Miami Children’s Hospital this week along with Gonzalez and other members of the host committee. Unwrapped toys are still being collected outside of Gongora’s office at Miami Beach City Hall 1700 Convention Center Drive on the 4th floor, so stop by and drop one off!
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS On Tuesday, after months of anticipation, Gloria and Emilio Estefan and cb5 Restaurant group officially opened the doors to Bongos Cuban Cafe at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino with a star-studded grand opening celebration. Guests included Jody Pennette (President of cb5 Restaurant Group), Jon Secada, Lili Estefan, Raul de Molina, Candela Ferro, Mauricio Zeilic, Actor Jonathan Silverman, Actress Jennifer Finnegan, James Allen (CEO Seminole Gaming), Recording Artist Christian Acosta, Marysol Patton, Frank Amadeo and Enrique Santos among many others. JR and Loren Ridinger celebrated their anniversary in style at Prime 112 on Saturday night, alongside close friends Kim Kardashian, Serena Williams, Larsa Pippen and Kamal Hotchandani. Hunky, Latin pop-star, Ricky Martin hung out at Cafeina on Thursday night. Low-key in demeanor, the heartthrob traveled with a minimal entourage and was overheard chatting about his children and upcoming holiday plans. Just before catching a plane home, Martin posed for photos and complimented the lounge to the Ivette Naranjo, proud owner of Cafeina. Last weekend Chris Bosh joined Kelly Rowland and Serena Williams (fresh from surgery in a bejeweled leg cast) for dinner at new favorite restaurant, Eden South Beach. The group snuck into one of the cabanas outside in the “Garden of Eden” where they noshed on a few chef favorites. Serena was having so much fun, she was dancing on one leg in the garden and jumped behind the bar and began to serve shots to diners at the restaurant. The group stayed for over three hours. Bosh was so impressed he made a reservation for the following week. During last week’s performance by N*E*R*D, Pharrell Williams was surprised when a stage crasher made it past the security and ended up right next to him on stage in the middle of one of the songs. Security removed the camouflage-dressed man from the stage, but after finishing his song, Pharrell told the security that he was so impressed that the guy made it to the stage that he brought him back on to perform his next two songs with him!
Vice Mayor Michael Gongorra and Omar Gonzalez
Dr. Julio Gallo and Elaine Lancaster
Tony Trujillo, Comm. Jorge Exposito, Cindy Acosta and Dan Davidson
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 21
411
GO!
Masik at Marquis
UPCOMING SOCIAL EVENTS
Share the Joy! By Maryanne Salvat and Mary Jo Almeida-Shore maryannesalvat@sunpostweekly.com maryjoshore@sunpostweekly.com
PUCCI’S PIZZA: BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND
Masik_Art_Performance_at_Marquis_Residences___Candela_Ferro_&_Kothan_Fernandez.jpg Criselda Breene, Iran Issa-Khan & Sam Robin
Parades at the National
After an eight year hiatus, Pucci’s Pizza, known to many club goers from back-in-the-day as “Hangover Helper” is back- to feed those late-night/early morning cravings and give you the best Brooklyn style pizza all day long. Tommy Pooch and long time business partner Alan Roth along with, Miami Favorite, DJ Irie have re-opened Pucci’s Pizza in the heart of Washington Avenue and 15th Street in Miami Beach. Serving patrons into the wee, postclub hours of the night, diners can expect traditional pasta dishes, hero sandwiches, salads, and good old fashioned slices. Just remember, “A slice and a Coke, you’ll never go broke!” Pucci’s Pizza is located at 1535 Washington Avenue.
TITANIC BREWERY PRESENTS HOOSHA Join local favorite Hoosha as they take Coral Gables by storm hitting the stage on Friday, December 17, at 10 p.m. at Titanic Restaurant & Brewery. The band is thrilled to welcome a new addition to their family, Alessandro Martino, on guitar, followed by Dizzy Bird at midnight. Come out and support some great local music along with a free shot with every drink purchase. Titanic Brewery is located at 5813 Ponce De Leon Boulevard in Coral Gables.
JUSTIN BUA’S LEGENDS OF HIP HOP TOUR On Saturday, December 18, 944 Magazine along with Original MOONSHINE hosts an evening of groundbreaking art, throwback music, and cocktails. Justin Bua, internationally known for his best-selling collection of fine art posters, will be unveiling one of his most important pieces to date, a 12-foot original oil painting of the Notorious B.I.G. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., with a viewing at 7:30 p.m. The Pick Nation Building is located at 7521 Biscayne Boulevard. To RSVP to this event, visit info@taient.com.
ZOO LIGHTS AND DINNER WITH SANTA Danny Clinch & Miguel Paredes
Laura Buccellati & Ray De Lesgoburo
Shannon Kelly & Artist Pamela Masik
Leon Benrimon & David Benrimon
Page 22 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
Zoo lights kicks off this weekend at Zoo Miami, formerly Miami Metro Zoo (12400 SW 152 Street) and runs from December 17-30. Guests can enjoy beautiful animal-shaped lights as they stroll zoo walkways during the 12 nights of Zoo Lights (excluding December 24 and 25) from 7 – 10 p.m. (ticket booths close at 9:30 p.m.). Guests can enjoy dozens of bright animal-shaped lights, while sipping hot chocolate, munching on delicious cookies, and listening to wonderful holiday music. Included with admission is a pair of 3D glasses, which will make the Zoo Lights experience even more engaging and amusing. General admission is $8.95 plus tax per adult and $6.95 plus tax per child. Zoo members are $7.95 plus tax per adult and $5.95 plus tax per child. Dinner with Santa will take place on December 23, from 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. Families will be treated to a delicious dinner and photo op with Santa at Wings of Asia. Children will receive a holiday plush gift and will get to make their own holiday ornaments! Admission includes parking, entry to Zoo Lights with unlimited carousel rides from 7 – 10 p.m. and a classic holiday menu of fresh roasted turkey with homemade gravy, baked ham, candied sweet potatoes with melting marshmallows, herbed buttery carrots, homemade cranberry sauce, dinner rolls with butter, homemade seasonal pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing, strawberry-infused lemonade, and cranberry mint-infused water. General admission is $42.95 per adult and $39.95 per child ages 3-12. Zoo members are $38.95 per adult and $36.95 per child ages 3-12. Children ages 2 and under are free.
Fitness COLUMN
How’s That Working For You? By Jeffrey Bradley (crazykidjoey@gmail.com)
If you haven’t seen any results from your workouts in the last 2 weeks— SOMETHING IS WRONG! Getting in shape means eating right and lifting weights heavy enough to shock your muscles into action. But that’s only part of the equation. What you really need is to stay anabolic. Question is, what is that? “Anabolic” means putting your muscles into a state where they synthesize complex substances from simpler ones. That is, they’re locked, loaded and ready to grow. Another way of looking at it is that anabolic—muscle density—is the opposite of catabolism, muscle wastage. Making muscles defined and tight means unleashing your inner intensity. Here are the best 5 ways of getting the most from your workouts:
NO EXCUSES Getting fit is a full time job. If you’re thinking, “Gee, l’ll just hang out at the gym and my trainer will get me in shape,” here’s your wake-up call: Not! Every skipped workout and less than full-metal jacket training session is a giant step in reverse. You need to set goals, track your workouts, get a training partner—whatever it takes to get your butt into the gym at least 3 times a week. The take-home message? Fix yourself up with a personal trainer who can educate and motivate you, one who holds you accountable for taking responsibility for your own workouts. If you want to get into shape then consistency is key. Remember: Your body reflects what you do with it most!
TRAIN HEAVY Here’s the no-brainer of the day: Hit the iron hard if you want some serious definition. Blast your biggest muscles—chest, back, especially legs— hard to release vital growth-factor hormones. Shock them even more with heavy weights, forced reps and drop sets to boost your intensity and increase muscle-building protein synthesis. All of this kicks your anabolic machinery into overdrive during the rebuilding phase.
REST AND REPAIR Lifting weights really does nothing to grow muscle. You’ll get a good pump, but that’s temporary. It’s what happens later, when you sleep and the day’s intake of protein lays down a new matrix of tight dense muscle fibers, that counts. This “time off” is when your body actually repairs the microtrauma caused during the lifting of the weights. Sleep plays a huge role in muscle growth and that all-important protein synthesis by increasing building-block growth hormone (GH) and other vital hormone levels. What this means is, you wake up looking better than you when you went to bed. Circumvent this process through a lack of sleep, or <shudder> by eating less than optimal amounts of protein, and you’ll end up looking like a marathon runner. Anyone for that starving Third World Country look?
FEED YOUR FACE In the getting-in-shape game, timing is everything. It doesn’t matter if you’re leaning out or bulking up; when you eat is important. Your critical times are on waking, pre- and post-workout, and just before bed. This is when your muscles best utilize a diet top-heavy in protein. And, as we know, of the Big Three of getting fit—diet, strength-training and cardiovascular exercise—diet is far and away the most important aspect. And in diet, protein is king. Savvy?
SUPPLEMENT YOUR STUFF Your body can’t manufacture protein, so it’s got to come from outside sources. The best way to lay down a denser muscle matrix while you sleep is by keeping your protein values high. Tip the odds in your favor by infusing your cells with BCAA’s (branched chain amino acids necessary for muscle repair and growth), creatine, and a daily multi-vitamin. Put these 5 components into your work-out repertoire and you’ll see results in no time. And check it out: without them you’re essentially wasting your dime and your trainer’s time.
www.sunpostweekly.com • SunPost Weekly • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • Page 23
Style TRENDS
Havaianas Supports the Arts By Jennifer Fragoso
An evening of art and exploration by Havaianas during Art Basel took place on Friday December 3rd. Transported to Flagler Memorial Island from designated departure locations much like an episode of Survivor. Guests were given Havaianas flip flops and a map to guide them through the indigenous island terrain to view the works of some 25 contemporary artists. Each work was produced on location with “implications of a space both part of and beyond civilization.” The exhibition ran one night only but the journey will live on in the memories of the carefully selected patrons forever. The Island event was organized by Shamim M. Momin (LAND) and Aaron Bondaroff/Al Moran (OHWOW) Artists included: Tauba Auerbach, Hernan Bas, Bozidar Brazda, Marc Bijl, Carol Bove, Stefan Bruggemann, Scott Campbell, Dan Colen, Brody Condon, Nathalie Djurberg, Liz Deschenes, Trisha Donnelly, Naomi Fisher, Michael Genovese, Luis Gispert, Douglas Gordon, Adler Guerrier, Alex Hubbard, Terence Koh, Kate Levant, Hanna Liden, Klara Liden, Kori Newkirk, Jack Pierson, Christina Rodriguez, Marina Rosenfeld, David Benjamin Sherry, Michael E. Smith, Rona Yefman, and Aaron Young.
Page 24 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
Push Yourself without Punishing Yourself cardio • strength • endurance • speed • flexibility
AEROBIC AND ANAEROBIC CONDITIONING PYLOMETRICS • YOGA • WATER PILATES • BOXING • POST RE-HAB • MARTIAL ARTS AND CROSS TRAINING
THE EVOLUTION OF FITNESS
NOW OFFERING GROUP SESSIONS Signup Online for Our Group Class aquafitmiami.com
786.220.1799 www.aquafitmiami.com
PERSONAL FITNESS IN YOUR POOL * We do not use any foam buoyancy equipment
Sex COLUMN
Internet Amore By Dr. Sonjia Kenya
Sonjia@drsonjia.com Do you date online? I do not. But this is not because I am about to get married to a man who uses my computer often. In fact, I am an avid supporter of internet dating sites but have only used them when logged into my mother’s account, secretly responding to old men who have winked at her. The reason I haven’t dated online is not because I am sexier than you (though we both know the truth), but rather, I am constantly surrounded by men. I work with a bunch of male doctors, lift weights in a male-dominated gym, take boxing classes with former pros, and play outdoor sports with surprisingly few lesbians. I also dress like a girl, wear pink boxing gloves with very short shorts, and talk about sex a lot. While this is obviously the most effective way to find a date, I realize that you and my mother are not as athletic, ambitious, or as sexy as I am. Revenue seekers on the internet also understand your dilemma. In 2005, Americans spent more than $500 million for online dating and personals and this market is projected to reach $932 million by 2011. This is the largest segment of paid content on the internet, other than porn. Which makes sense according to my fiancé’s credit card statements. We have a very modern relationship. Because I am popular, many friends and family members speak to me. When doing so, they tell me about their online dating experiences. While I applaud their courage, I am disappointed by their halfassed attempts to find love. Since telling them this in person would ruin happy hour, Christmas, or both, I’ve chosen the easier route by writing this article, which most, including mom, will never read. I’m always grateful for their support. In addition to being sexier, I am also smarter than you. Which is why I know the key to success. Set a goal, make a plan, and do everything you can to achieve it. Since most of you did not graduate from an ivy-league, you probably never learned that. This explains why you establish a profile on one website and consider yourself actively seeking love. In the wide world of web dating, putting a presence on one site hardly counts as an attempt, it’s just one very small part of the plan. If you decide to pursue love online with any expectation of success, do so with gusto! This means looking for love in more than one place, using more than one method. Think of it like real-life. If you only go to one bar (or one bookstore or one coffee shop), you will only meet the people at that bar. And since you’re still looking for love, we pretty much know how that’s worked out for you.
As I make a living telling people what to do about situations I’ve never experienced, I feel uniquely qualified to help you find love online. The first step is to look in the mirror and answer a few questions. What race am I and what race(s) will I date? Should I lie or tell the truth about my income? Is my body fine, fit, or fat? Am I attracted to men, women, or both? What catchy screen name should I use? While the last question is obviously most important, beware of embellishing the others too much. Unlike your current situation, this is an attempt to actually meet someone who will like you in real-life. The next step involves a public confession of your hopes, habits, and body weight. This is called an online profile. Most sites pair people up based on their preferences for race, religion, income, or sexual orientation and this seems to work pretty well according to the owner of my local bagel shop. A few years ago, he began telling everyone in the neighborhood to find a spouse online after his daughter successfully matched on JDate (for jewish singles). He delivers his message convincingly but in case he’s not there when you come in, he’s posted pictures of his daughter’s wedding on the wall under a handwritten sign, “They met on Jdate!” This makes me appreciate my absent father. If you’re a non-Jew with a less involved Dad, there’s options such as Christian Mingle, Christian Café, JC Match, and Black Christian people Meet. Manhunt is for gay men and plenty of my friends have confirmed that any homosexual man can join, regardless of religious orientation. Will someone please refer Bishop Eddie Long? If you are determined to love someone from your own culture, the internet is inspired to help. Love from India, Alarena (for Africans), Asian People Meet, Shaadi (for Indian singles), or Amigos (for Latinos) match singles based on race and ethnicity. And although Whites have been credited with colonization, corruption, and monopolizing power throughout history, they are not a dominant force in the online dating arena. This is not for lack of trying. A few years ago, renowned White Supremacist William Regnery attempted to organize investors to start an online dating site targeting only White people. He thought the effort could increase the declining White population by matching couples who would produce pure White off-spring. Despite his racial supremacy, Regenry never garnered enough support to get his website off the ground and I could find no other sites dedicated to the cause. But don’t worry White people. Most dating sites allow you to join too.
Page 26 • Thursday, December 16, 2010 • SunPost Weekly • www.sunpostweekly.com
And according to my very White mother, they don’t even lynch you if you choose to date outside your race. The most popular free dating sites are okcupid and plentyoffish. Match and eharmony are the top paid sites and do a better job of screening applicants. Since homeless people without credit cards are unable to join, paid sites lead to more successful matches. But that doesn’t mean the free ones are total duds. When craigslist is not defending charges related to homicide, the site is apparently matching up lovers, some of who even appear normal. Not long ago, I met a married couple, who after several drinks, revealed they met on craigslist. She was a smart, gorgeous woman born in Africa. He was a handsome biracial man born in Germany. Both were college educated and enjoying successful careers in Washington DC when they met on craigslist. After they eloped, he began saving up money for her dowry; hundreds of cattle needed to be bought in Africa and given to her dad in exchange for his blessing. Before the cows give you the wrong impression, it’s important to tell you they are a surprisingly normal couple. I know this for certain because we are facebook friends and I now receive cute invitations for champagne parties and wine tastings. Is there a more normal way to spend the day? Dating coaches recommend that you post your profile on several websites to maximize your opportunities and options. I say you should post it in more than one place because the task of doing so requires you to put more effort and focus on finding love. Don’t cringe, but I am going quickly summarize the law of attraction. Like attracts like. So if you focus your energy on having love, you will have love. This is very different from focusing on not having love, which is what most single people do as they continue to wonder why they’re single. Even if you don’t meet through a designated dating website, putting your profile online increases the time you are focused on dating which improves your chances of dating someone that may eventually love you. Last year, one of my best friends decided to find love through dating websites and began spending much more time online at night. After a few months of unsuccessful dates, she ended connecting with a guy through a health related website that had nothing to do with love. They’re now living together and just celebrated their one year anniversary. She focused
on finding love and attracted it from the most unexpected place. With increased focus, you can too. Since you probably haven’t dated someone seriously in awhile, it’s important to sharpen your focus by getting some experience in the dating world. Virtual dating allows you to use avatars to interact with other singles in a virtual environment designed to simulate a real life date. Since mingling with a cartoon operated by a stranger seems too weird to count as cheating, I logged onto a virtual dating environment and dated a guy named Jonah. After I decided to meet him at the beach and we chatted for about five minutes, it started to feel real and very much like cheating. I quit the game but that didn’t stop Jonah from finishing it off by saying he was not interested in dating me ever again. I found rejection to be much more tolerable when coming from a cartoon. The upside of virtual dating is that you can interact with another person as soon as you meet them, which is more like a real-life situation. You can see if sparks fly based on how the conversation goes, as if you met them in the grocery store line. The guy who bags my groceries is cute, but as soon as he spoke, I knew there was no attraction. I wish I could tell him this in person. In virtual dating, you can. In addition to being a safe place to share your innermost feelings, virtual dating may be more effective than regular dating websites at getting the job done. According to Harvard and MIT researchers, singles who interacted with each other on a virtual tour of a museum had more successful in person meetings compared to those only viewed computer profiles. If communicating through avatars sounds too technical for you, several sites now offer video dating, a type of virtual experience that allows singles to use live dating services with actual reality designed to feel like a real date. No matter what methodologies you choose, if you decide to get involved in the online dating scene and want to be successful, be prepared to dedicate time. Just like real-life, online dating requires time to get to know someone. Most people will email, text, and virtual date several times before they meet in person. Don’t have time for that? Well, some genius has developed virtual dating assistants who will do all your emailing, responding, and virtual dating for you until the first real-life date is confirmed. Ghostwriters build your profile, send introductory messages to potential matches and continue communicating until a date is set up. I imagine this would work especially good for people who are blind, socially inept or simply unethical. Surprisingly, ethics are not the cornerstone of internet dating. Capitalism is. And those website CEOs have figured out a way to sell the promise of love to everyone, including ugly people. Ugly Bug Ball is a dating website dedicated to people who are confident in their unattractiveness. Given my obvious sexiness, I assumed the website would prevent me from creating a profile. But their filters must’ve been busted that day because I was allowed to join and mingle with all the uglies. To my surprise, most of the folks weren’t nearly as gross as expected. And I hate to say it, but some even looked like Mom.
THE REAL ESTATE PAGES NEW CONSTRUCTION IN THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS COMMUNITY IN MIAMI BEACH - GATED SUNSET ISLAND #1. JUST REDUCED $150,000! RARELY AVAILABLE MODERN DESIGN BY ARCHITECT RALPH CHOEFF AND BAUMANN BUILDERS. THIS SLEEK HOME OFFERS HIGH END APPLIANCES AND FIXTURES, EAT-IN KITCHEN, STYLISH BATHROOMS, MARBLE AND WOOD FLOORING, IMPACT GLASS WINDOWS, & POOL. SOPHISTICATED ELECTRONICS PACKAGE INCLUDES HIGH-DEF, STEREO, AND SECURITY SYSTEMS. MASTER SUITE WITH ADJACENT 1,800 SQ.FT. TERRACE UPSTAIRS COMPLETES THIS TURN-KEY PROPERTY!
FOR ADVERTISING: 305.482.1785
WELCOME TO APOGEE THE ULTIMATE ADDRESS IN LUXURY CONDO LIVING! 800 S. POINTE DR. #1402, 3 BED, 3.5 BATHS, 3,103 SQ. FT.
RESIDENCE 1402 IS THE BEST VALUE AVAILABLE IN THE MOST EXCLUSIVE ADDRESS SOUTH OF NEW YORK CITY - APOGEE. THIS UNIT IS IMPECCABLY FINISHED WITH TOP OF THE LINE EVERYTHING - FLOORING, WINDOW TREATMENTS, WALL COVERINGS, LIGHTING, ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM, AND MORE. DESIGNER FURNISHED IN MODERN, MINIMALIST TASTE. INCREDIBLE FLOW-THROUGH VIEWS OF THE BAY, GOVERNMENT CUT, OCEAN AND SOUTH BEACH. BE ONE OF THE PRIVILEGED TO LIVE IN THE 68 UNIT ULTRA EXCLUSIVE COMPLEX OFFERING STANDOUT AMENITIES SUCH AS 2 CAR PRIVATE GARAGES, MASSIVE TERRACES WITH SUMMER KITCHENS, PRIVATE ELEVATORS, AND UNPARALLELED LEVEL OF SERVICE.
NO OTHER PROPERTY IN SOUTH BEACH OFFERS THE SPACIOUSNESS OF A HOUSE AND ENDLESS WATER VIEWS!
ASKING PRICE: $5,349.00 MORE INFORMATION AVAILABLE AT WWW.APOGEE1402.COM