Page 2 — Wedding guide –– february 2013
WEdding guidE
Sharing wedding photos in the digital age By Eric Young
PuBLiShEr Elizabeth Gorske Managing Editor Eric Young EditoriaL Staff Sherry Barnum Tim Barnum Greg Buckner Kevin Bunch Jessie Tobias Thomas Williams adVErtiSing SaLES Laurie Blamer Jama Gates Anthony Kachiros Carla Reeves Tracy Pardue-Smith CoMPoSition Sharon Ehlert Jesse Karbowski EMaiL reporter3@ogemawherald.com Cover Photo of Colin and Michelle o’farrell, courtesy of Simply Love Photography by Sarah Killackey
Photos. They’re a huge part of every wedding. Most brides want to capture every moment they can so they can go back through those photos later and reminisce. And while most people will hire a photographer or two for their wedding, sometimes that isn’t enough. People have frequently looked for ways for their guests to share their own photos of that special day with the bride and groom. A common theme in the past has been to leave disposable cameras on all the tables. Guests take photos and leave the cameras, and the bride and groom develop the film and get many more memories — some of them less than appropriate. But as technology has improved, and more and more people carry smart phones with cameras, the disposable camera has become a thing of the past. Now the key is to find a way to access all of those photos that everyone else has taken. Thankfully, there are many options. A great option that I recently saw was used at the wedding of one of my best friends. The photo sharing app Instagram has become extremely popular recently. The neat thing about Instagram is that you can use hashtags to allow people to easily search for photos. A hashtag is the “#” symbol followed by some text. For example, #JohnAndJane2013. My friend then had signs around the wedding and reception asking people to use that hashtag when they posted their photos to Instagram. Then he could easily search for the photos, as could everyone else, and they could see everyone’s photos of the event. Another possible option for photo shar-
ing would be to create a Facebook page specifically for your wedding. This could serve a dual purpose because you could provide people with information on the page leading up to the wedding, such as lodging, itinerary, and other things. On the day of the wedding, you could once again share the group’s URL and ask people to post their photos to the page. We encourage the bride and groom to post their own photos during this time too, so people can follow your progress throughout the day. If all of this seems like a lot of work, there is an application that can do most of the work for you. If you have an iPhone or an Android phone, download the free application “Flock.”
When you launch Flock, it will ask you to enable location services and to give it access to your address book. Flock will then scan your address book to find other people that are using the service. It then uses the location data and time stamp on your photos in your phone to determine when you took photos in the same location as one of your friends. It then flags those photos and asks if you want to share them. In addition, you can see all of the photos that your friends took during that time in that location as well. The app does most of the work — you just need to tell it what photos to upload.
See Sharing, page 10
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Couples mixing tradition with new reception trends By Kevin Bunch Couples throughout northeast Michigan have been looking to put their own spin on the tradition of a wedding reception, adding new trends and activities to what is traditionally an evening of food, family and dance. Jessica Zettle, owner of West Branch’s Glass Slipper, said she has seen receptions getting bigger than ever. “It used to be okay that it was in a hall with a few touches, but now, with these shows on TLC and things getting bigger in the wedding industry, they want people to be awed,” Zettle said. “They want things to be beautiful.” While reception halls are still common on her end, she said more brides have been going with linen tablecloths and chair covers, as well as all-inclusive formal dinners, where the food is prepared for all the guests. Shelly Kammerzell, owner of Antiques & Uniques in Au Gres, said her couples usually go with beach weddings or tent weddings, aiming for a “shabby-chic” style. She said they go for candles in mason jars, trees, homemade chandeliers, and paper lanterns. For food, Kammerzell said she has seen her brides choose food stations, where a specific portion of the meal is given out at each station. She acknowledged the traditional plates of food are still a regular part of wedding receptions, though. Dinner selections tend to retain the traditional combination of meat and potato dishes
with vegetables. Additionally, she said dessert bars are a popular choice, where all the guests can pick out their own treats. Cupcakes instead of a wedding cake are also a popular trend, she said, as is having some bits of entertainment for the guests. Both women said photo booths, where guests can toss on costumes and accessories to get some pictures, remain popular sights at receptions, as are the traditional dances — the father-daughter dance, the wedding party dance — but Zettle noted that she’s
seen bridal parties go a bit further. “A trend I’m seeing more of, is people seeing bridal party dances, where they learn dances ahead of time to wow their guests,” Zettle said. “For the first dance, they bust out something cool and do a choreographed dance.” Zettle said couples are also planning more elaborate entrances than in years past, while Kammerzell noted that traditional party favors are falling to the wayside, being replaced with individualized items such as mason jars with a name and seat
location written on it. Other people are still opting for a more traditional feel to their weddings, however. LouAnn Doak with the Pinconning Cheese House said their banquet hall sees wedding receptions regularly, and their clientele has a preference for traditional, homemade food in an outdoorsy setting. “When people walk in, they want good food, entertainment, and a drink,” she said. “You’re coming to a wedding to see family and friends.” All three women said they have noticed grooms becoming a bit more active in the reception planning, though they each acknowledged that the bride has far more input. “Generally the groom comes to a couple of the meetings,” Kammerzell said. “I don’t want to say they have no input, but they generally like to have a little bit (of input) in terms of color, where the reception is, and the cost. A lot of grooms try to have a group function prior to wedding in night or morning, as well, so the grooms are somewhat on board.” “When you think about how much money is being invested in it, yes, the grooms want to be involved,” Doak said. “A lot more kids are paying for their own wedding. For a few, Mom and Dad are still paying, but the majority are doing it themselves.” For music, all three also said that couples tend to go with DJs over live bands for cost reasons, though Kammerzell said she has seen some couples bring in a band they knew from college or that has some special meaning to them to play at their reception.
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Page 4 — february 2013 –– Wedding guide
Personalization the way to go for groomsmen gifts Branham-Hill said groomsmen gifts change over the years, but some are always a safe choice. “It just goes in spurts and spurts,” she said. “A lot of people are still doing the glass mugs – the beer mugs. We can engrave those. That’s always a popular one.” At the Silver Lining in West Branch, Samantha Fabbri said they also receive many orders for engraved items. “Usually the flasks and the money clips are big ones, or a beer stein, those kinds of things,” she said. Fabbri added in-store catalogs for gifts also include items such as pocket watches, pen sets and wallets. Knives are also a popular choice, according to Vicki Carlson at Ink & Thread in West Branch.
By tim Barnum When your buddies agree to stand in your wedding party, they might not say it, but they’re expecting something in return. And who can blame them? They have to pay to rent a tux, oftentimes pay for a hotel room and travel expenses, and dedicate time for rehearsal and the wedding festivities. Sure, you can thank them. But today, groomsmen gifts are expected, and according to wedding professionals, the gifts should be personalized in some manner. Joyce Branham-Hill, the owner of Branham’s Jewelry in West Branch, said popular gifts usually include some sort of message. “Things you can get engraved, or monogrammed, are probably the big thing,” she said.
and figure it out,” Fabbri said. “Everyone’s different.” Luckily for a confused groom, he can find help in the store where he’s shopping, and from the lady who will soon be his wife. “I think the girl tells him what to get, usually,” Branham-Hill said. “I think because the brides have gotten so much more into doing stuff online, that there are different trends they are probably aware of.” Fabbri added that most grooms-to-be usually seek advice from their future brides, or else they are lost. “I’m going to say 98 percent of the guys who come in don’t know what they’re wanting unless their fiancée or something has an idea,” she added. “They don’t really know. They just know they have to get something.”
“A lot of times they’ll have names engraved on knives,” she said. “And then we also have flasks. Those are probably the most popular that we do for groomsmen.” Some places will also engrave items that were purchased elsewhere, Carlson said. “A lot of times, with the knives, the guys will pick them up themselves and bring them in for us to engrave,” she said. Whether a groom is buying flasks, mugs, knives or money clips, personalizing the gifts is important, Branham-Hill said. “They can remember it,” she said. “They have the sentiment on it.” No matter what the groomsmen look like, and no matter who is getting married, there is usually one constant—the groom has no idea where to begin. “I think he knows that he needs to get something, and you try to talk them through
Always at “That Table” I am not saying I do not respect the institution of marriage. I am always quiet and respectful during the ceremony and allow the couple and the other people at the church to enjoy the experience. It is the reception where my dislike for weddings takes hold. Since I am always seated with friends who share the same feelings about weddings, we always become “That Table,” even when I am a part of the wedding. You know what table I am talking about. Many of you might even have sat at “That Table.” It is the most obnoxious table of the evening. It is the table that, after a certain point, can no longer maintain decorum. It’s not that we get drunk and set things on fire or start fights. Thankfully, I have never been at a wedding that could be fea-
By thomas Williams Let me just say that I hate weddings. For your traditional weddings, a woman spends hundreds to thousands of dollars on a dress she will wear once — hopefully — then keep in a box to remind her of her happy day. Her bridesmaids buy dresses they will only wear once, but for a different reason. Brides usually pick bridesmaids outfits so the other girls will not outshine them. The guys get to rent tuxedos and never have to think about the garments again. This does not really seem fair to me. Except for how uncomfortable the rented tuxedo shoes are. There are a lot more ridiculous things about weddings, but this column is not about how silly I find weddings, but how my feelings affect my wedding experience.
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tape, done by the bride’s uncle — who was not sitting at our table — you see the images start to wobble a lot, and the end of the video was shot from his chair. I guess there is a tipping point for some people. There is that moment when it just gets to be too much. I’ve gotten better at reining myself in as I have aged, but it is like the young child in church who, halfway through the ceremony, starts to try and wiggle out of his church clothes. I like to compare it to a fish tank filter. Eventually, something holding back so much needs to be cleaned out or it eventually spills over. I wish I could say I will someday be a perfect wedding guest, even helping to hold back the people I am sitting with at
See taBLE, page 7
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tured on a two-day “Jerry Springer” special. We just lose the ability to act like “civilized human beings.” That was an actual quote from a friend’s grandmother. So what if one of my friends stripped down to his undershirt and went and got his shorts and sandals out of the car? It was the end of July and the air conditioning was broken. Who cares if my date had a little too much champagne, kissed the bride’s grandfather full on the lips and asked him if he would leave his wife for her? There was even one time when I might have imbibed a little too much and decided I did not mind dancing — which I hate. That night I was at “That Table That Drank All the Beer.” What can I say? It was a good Irish wedding. If you watch the video
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Picture perfect The dos and don’ts of engagement pictures By Sherry Barnum You finally have the ring, so why not show it off? Engagement pictures can be a perfect way to showcase not only the gorgeous ring, but also your love for each other. But before rushing out and picking out matching outfits, take some of this advice in- to consideration. Sarah Killackey of Simply Love Photography in West Branch said couples should wear something they are comfortable in. “Be you! If you are more casual, T-shirt and jeans with a simple scarf is perfect,” Killackey said. “If you like to dress up, go with a dress, blazer, and accessorize.” “Definitely accent each other!” Killackey added. “If he’s wearing a blue shirt, you wear white with a blue scarf or a blue necklace.” Killackey said brides should choose a photographer who suits their style. “Ask for examples of engagement images,” she said. “Don’t be afraid to ask your photographer for style tips and feel free to go that day and get your hair and makeup done at a salon, or ask if they have an ‘onhand’ hair and makeup girl.” Killackey said if you are unsure of your outfits, send a picture to your photographer. “Get their input,” she said. “Go on location for your session.” “What suits you in nature? Downtown, barns, fields, woods? Go where you love,” she added. “Researching different poses that you would love to try can help set your engagement photos apart from the rest. Just make it your own.” Although there are many dos when getting engagement photos done, there are also
many don’ts you want to watch out for. Killackey said one thing she stresses when getting photos done is not settling for ‘your friend who has a nice camera.’ “Remember, these are your engagement photos,” she said. “These photos are what you display on your walls, save the dates, invitations, and at your wedding.” “Don’t wait until the last minute to get your session done,” she added. “Allow yourself enough time for the session to be done, edited, prints and save the dates to be ordered.” According to Killackey, there are musthave shots that every couple should get when having engagement photos done. “Always, always, always get a traditional shot –– older generations love these,” Killackey said. “Make sure to get many that are happy, smiling, you’re so in love, and some that go for the more romantic, passionate feel.” “Remember –– these are what you show your parents, grandparents, and friends,” she added. Killackey said details matter. “Get a shot of your hands interlocked, a closeup of you kissing, and your ring by itself,” she said. “Don’t be scared to show off your Pinterest to your photographer and try the different poses out!” “Don’t be scared to say no,” she added. “If your photographer is not suited to your needs and a friend or family member pushed for you to choose them –– say no!” Killackey said if your session doesn’t turn out the way you’d like or your poses do not show what you are, ask for a re-shoot or refund. “Don’t be afraid to tell how you feel or what you want. Once again –– this is your day,” Killackey said.
Do:
• Be You! Wear something you are comfortable in and that you would normally wear. If you don’t then you aren’t being you! • Accent each other. • Bring at least two outfits: one casual outfit and one dressy outfit. • Ask for examples of engagement images. • Research different poses. • Get traditional shots.
Don’t:
• Don’t settle on your pictures. • Don’t have your hair cut the day of a portrait. Schedule hair appointments at least a week in advance for a more natural look. • Don’t wait until last-minute to get your session done. • Don’t be afraid to ask your photographer for style tips. • Don’t be afraid to show your photographer your Pinterest boards and don’t be afraid to try different poses. • Don’t be scared to say no. • Don’t be afraid to tell how you feel or what you want. Photos courtesy of Simply Love Photography –– Sarah Killackey
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Page 6 — Wedding guide –– february 2013
A wedding and its wonders By Colin o’farrell A wedding can be described a hundred different ways. Some people will say it is the most nervous they have ever been in their lives. Others will say it is just a big party, another excuse to eat, drink and carry on. For some it can be an important union of two families, desperately hoping that their children’s vows can inspire peace and stability for both sides (see Louis XIII’s marriage to Blanche of Castile, King Edward II’s to Isabella of France, Pam Anderson to Tommy Lee). In the end, what we all hope is that it can be described one way, as the “happiest day of our lives.” The day I married my Shelly was definitely a combination of all of those feelings (we’re desperately hoping our union will solidify our stranglehold over Scotland), but above all else –– the laughs, the drinks and the dancing –– it felt like a reunion. Not the type of reunion where you go back to spend time having cocktails with the same guys who once hung your underwear from a flagpole (they are just drinking club soda now, because the freedom of college was a bit too much for them). This was a reunion of friends, family, co-workers, and of a couple with the very place they first began their lives together. This was a day that hopefully mattered just as much to so many of the other people involved. My wife and I were humbled and blessed that almost 200 people attended our wedding on Sept. 1, 2012. That’s 200 different stories of who and why and where they came from. Here are just a few. the 15-Year reunion My Uncle Jeff passed away about a month before our wedding. For as long as I can remember, he had lived in California with his wife and two sons. My mother’s side of the family has always been fortunate to live in relative proximity to each other: grandparents, three sisters, their hus-
Photo courtesy of Michelle O’Farrell
Michelle and Colin O’Farrell stand outside Buck’s Run Golf Course in Mount Pleasant, where they met in college. bands and six cousins all never really more than three hours’ travel away. (Give or take the harsh winters my grandparents would spend in Florida, because why not?) The only outliers were the oldest brother and his family, comfortably inhabiting a respectable living on the West Coast. The last time I remember seeing my uncle and his family was for my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary some 15 years ago. The entire side of my mother’s family gathered for a brunch and simple photo shoot. The portrait taken still hangs on a wall in my parents’ home, a solemn
reminder of how common the middle part was in a 13-year-old boy’s hair, as well as a cautionary tale of how faint opportunities can arise when every single member of a family can gather in one place, at one time. It just so happened that during same month as our wedding, my Grandmother Millie and Grandfather Al, 87 and 86 years of age respectively, were also celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary. As a nod to their love and dedication, and a tribute to those who carefully guard the secret of a long-term marriage, we were able to find and play a version of their favorite song
(“Honey” by Kay Starr –– thanks YouTube). Though it took a minute for them to recognize exactly what it was the DJ was playing, we would like to think that for those two and a half minutes they were transported back to a time where their friends and family could gather around, share a meal and some laughs, and celebrate the union of a young couple in love. The presence of my aunt and two cousins culminated in a family gathering that had been almost too long in the making. While the names on the invitations were meant to celebrate my wife and me, there was a tremendous sense that this day meant so much more to so many others. Even though my uncle was not able to see it, the presence of his legacy was more than my family and I could ever have asked for. the cook and the co-worker Ben the banquet cook is a jovial and jolly spirit who enjoys a good joke almost as much as a good drink. One of my lasting memories of working with Ben was the time he told me how he had returned home late one night, reeling from the effects of a night spent at his favorite watering hole, and never quite made it to his bed. His large frame and withered wits had decided that the floor adjacent to his bed was just as good a spot as any. Later that night, as a severe storm ripped through the MidMichigan area, a massive branch was dislodged from an overhanging tree, slamming through his bedroom window, “Right where my stinkin’ head would have been, man!” To this day I could not honestly tell you if this story is true or not. Neither my friends nor I were ever able to confirm the tale, as Chateau la Ben was not necessarily a place young college students would (thankfully) ever really visit. To this day,
See WondErS, page 12
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february 2013 –– Wedding guide — Page 7
Nontraditional guest books provide keepsakes for a lifetime By Sherry Barnum Every bride wants to make her wedding day her own, whether it is making your own decorations or adding special touches throughout the ceremony to show your style. But what about changing up the way guests sign in at the wedding? The days of the traditional guest book are quickly fading as websites, such as Pinterest, give brides new ideas to remember their special day and everyone who attended. Ashley (Hamilton) Smith of West Branch was married in May 2012 and decided to go the “nontraditional” way for a guest book. “I decided to go with a ‘thumbprint tree’ at my wedding versus a traditional guest book because I felt like the traditional guest books that are used are tossed in a box and forgotten about,” Smith said. “Whereas our thumbprint tree, which also included our last name and the date of our wedding, could be hung on display in our home, so that people who shared our special day with us are never forgotten.” Smith said she saw the idea on Pinterest and automatically fell in love with it. “They had many different ideas as far as a thumbprint guest book, but the tree was my favorite,” Smith said. “I felt like it went with my wedding theme the best and would look best afterwards in my home.” Smith said she had a friend paint out a big tree with lots of branches on a canvas. “We then set out different shades of green ink for the thumbprints, a pen for them to sign their name next to their thumbprint, along with wet wipes for them to wipe their hands afterwards,” Smith said. “I received lots of compliments on the idea, and although I was worried about people not wanting to get inky fingers even though the wipes cleaned it off, no one seemed to mind.” Smith said the only disappointment she had with going with the thumbprint tree is that people are so used to seeing your traditional guest book, she noticed that they had quite a few people overlook the table where the thumbprint tree was. “Almost a year after our wedding and it’s still fun to look at the canvas hanging in our entryway and reminisce about that day and the people that shared it with us,” she added. As for bride Audrey (Daniels) Bischoff
Photo courtesy of Two Fish Photography
Audrey and Jason Bischoff ride their horses during an engagement shoot. This picture is an example of pictures used throughout her photo guest book. of Tawas, the nontraditional route was a way to display her engagement pictures, which held a special meaning to her and her husband. “When I was gathering up all the final touches for my wedding, I of course considered buying a traditional guest book,” Bischoff said. “But then I started thinking to myself how outdated and unnecessary a guest book really was.” “In this day and age, I don’t really need an exhausting list of everyone who was at my wedding along with their street address –– I already have their address, that’s how they got invited,” Bischoff added. “It’s in a 10-page Excel file on my laptop.” Bischoff said she considered doing what her older sister and thousands of other brides had done, and going with a large matted photograph that everyone could sign and then keeping it as a keepsake to
hang on the wall. “But, then I visited my older sister’s home. She has been married seven years now, and the giant scribbled-on wedding photo is dusty and taking up wall space that she would rather have allotted to family photos, and pictures of her beautiful children,” Bischoff said. “Her life has moved on to a new phase, and yet the giant photo still remains. It has sentimental meaning to them as a couple, but really doesn’t do anything for their home decor. Not only that, but the idea of the matted photograph has gone the same route as the Macarena.” Bischoff said she wanted something new. “Four months before our wedding, we got together with our photographer and did our engagement photos,” she said. Our first date had been going on a horseback ride together, on our horses that we had each owned since childhood. We talked our pho-
tographer into a horseback photo session overlooking the AuSable River.” Bischoff said the engagement photos meant a lot to them since they commemorated their first date, their shared interest in horses, and they were also able to get professional photos of their beloved childhood pets, who are not getting any younger. “The pictures turned out absolutely amazing! I wanted to somehow put them all on display so that all of our friends and family could see all of our beautiful engagement photos,” she said. “That’s when I came up with the idea to make a photo book. I went on Walmart.com and created a photo book with all of our engagement photos.” Bischoff said she left blank pages throughout the book, and added lyrics from the chorus of a love song both she and Jason like, “Something That We Do” by Clint Black. “I was very pleased with how it turned out. It wasn’t very expensive, $25-$35,” Bischoff said. “It was a great way to share our beautiful engagement photos with our guests at the wedding. And now I have a wedding keepsake that I can keep on the coffee table for now, and then later transfer it to a bookshelf to make room for photos of our next big adventure.” Bischoff said she would recommend it to any bride who is looking for a way to add a personal touch to the old, traditional guest sign-in.
Table Continued from page 4 the reception, but I cannot promise anything. For all the future brides and grooms out there, when you are planning your ceremony, make sure everyone is going to be comfortable and do not drag everything out too long. The longer things go, or people have to wait around for you, the more likely people are to reach their tipping point.
Page 8 — Wedding guide –– february 2013
The secret life of wedding DJs While they keep the reception going, DJs try to keep the spotlight off themselves By greg Buckner After all the stress and months of planning culminates in a beautiful wedding ceremony, it’s time for everyone to get ready and let loose at the reception. While your Uncle Steve and Aunt Linda are out on the dance floor boogying down to Bob Seger, people are toasting to the newly married couple and old friends are getting a chance to catch up after years apart. But there are others who are busy working overtime while everyone is enjoying the evening. Those people are wedding DJs. While everyone is dancing the night away, the DJs fly under the radar as they keep the night going. According to Clif Holland, who owns Holland Entertainment with his wife, Jessica, the less attention the DJs draw to themselves, the better the night will go. “The couples we work with realize how much work and planning we do when we work a wedding reception, but the night is all about them,” Holland said. “If I do something like slip up when announcing the names of the people in the wedding party, then all the eyes go off the wedding party and onto me. You don’t want that happening. I still get butterflies when I announce the wedding party, because it’s such a special moment, but I’m so nervous about trying to not mess up anyone’s name.” Since starting Holland Entertainment seven years ago, Clif said he gets those butterflies every time he works at a wedding and his love of music led him to his start his DJing career. “I started doing this just because of the pure enjoyment I get from music,” he said. “You can hire these big companies and they’ll send you some DJ you don’t get to
know, but my wife and I take great pride in adding a personal touch and really getting to know the couples we work with.” While he has a day job working at Richardson Ford in Standish, Holland said much of the time he’s not at work is dedicated to his other profession. “Once we have a wedding booked and we’ve met with the couple, we typically sit down about one or two weeks before the wedding and lay out how the whole night will go,” he said. Holland said he tries to schedule the night down to the last minute, just to make sure the night goes off without a hitch. “Our job is to make sure things go smooth,” he said. “We lay out the lineup of the night as best we can. We schedule every dance, we work with the couples to pick the songs they want for each dance, and try to follow a playlist to make sure everything goes just right.” While he said he tries his best to fully map out the night, you have to be ready to switch things up if needed. “You sit down with the couples and they’ll tell you whatthey want and don’t want,” Holland said. “But, my wife is really good at reading a room and seeing what people are responding to. If people are really responding to '80s music and are getting out on the dance floor, you run with that for a while because the more you get people involved, the more they’ll talk about and remember the night.” Holland said sometimes you even have to go against what the wedding couple wants in favor of keeping the whole room involved. “The bride might ask you to play a certain song that ends up clearing the dance floor, so you have to try and get those people back out on there without going against the wishes of the bride and groom,” he
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Clif Holland gets the crowd dancing at a wedding. said. With a catalog of more than 28,000 songs, Holland said he’s prepared to make a change at the drop of a coin. “We use the streaming service Rhapsody to purchase all of our songs, but now we can also pull up a song on my wife’s smart phone and be ready for pretty much any request,” he said. In order to build that impressive music library and purchase the three sound systems he has at his disposal, Holland said he had to make a sizable investment over the years. “Just from when I started up to where I am today with all of the lights, music and
other equipment I’ve had to purchase, I’ve invested about $7,000 to $8,000 in the whole setup,” Holland said. “But, just like anything else, you’ve got to invest money if you want to make money.” He said he typically charges anywhere from $500 to $700 for a wedding reception, but that price can change, as he has expanded his coverage area and sometimes has to charge more for travel expenses. “We do a lot of weddings around the Standish area and other places around here because since I work there, I know a lot of the people in the area, but we go pretty
See SECrEt, page 10
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‘Crashing’ your special day How to spot wedding crashers and prevent them from ruining your wedding By greg Buckner You’ve walked down the aisle, and now you’ve finally gotten to your reception and you’re ready to unwind and celebrate your special day. But as you scan the buffet line during dinner, you notice two guys that you’ve never seen before shoveling down plates of food and taking advantage of the open bar you’ve been so generous to stock with your own money. It’s at this moment that you realize you have a problem on your hands. Wedding crashers have infiltrated your wedding. While the film of the same name portrayed wedding crashers as good-natured partiers who just want to enjoy a good time and find their way home with one of the members of the bridal party, the truth is these people can throw off months’ worth
of planning and create quite the unneeded headache on your wedding day. While wedding crashers can come in all forms, let’s take a look at the main culprits and how to deal with the situation: The plus-one: You receive an RSVP for the wedding for “Cousin Mark and Guest.” When Mark gets to your wedding, he brings his latest flavor of the week, who happens to scream “Freebird!” at the DJ and starts hitting on your 16-year-old nephew after spending some time at the open bar. Solution: Kindly ask the bartender to stop serving the crude woman in the leopard-print dress and tell your cousin that unless he controls his date, the DJ will ask over the speaker system if Mark and his date, the registered sex offender, could please make their way to the dance floor. Children: You were so happy for your
friend Stephanie when she had her son a few years ago, but she isn’t the toughest disciplinarian, and now little Steve has become quite the handful. During the wedding ceremony, he starts screaming until his mom lets him play Angry Birds on her smart phone. By the time you get to the reception, he’s grabbing the wedding gifts and shaking them to see what’s inside. Solution: A preemptive measure would be to include on your RSVPs that the wedding will be an “adult-only affair.” If it’s only little Steve that’s a problem, debate on how good of friends you are with Stephanie and if she would unfriend you if you stuck her in the back corner table with creepy Uncle John. Complete strangers: You recognize the majority of the people at your wedding, but you know you didn’t invite the gentlemen who scream “Shots!” and have more gel in
their hair than the cast of “Jersey Shore.” Turns out, these fools happened to be staying in the hotel your reception is at, and they decided they could “totally score at this wedding, bro!” Solution: Make sure you have an eagleeyed friend at the main entrance of the reception with the guest book in hand to thwart such attempts. If someone happens to sneak through, either go the route of silently escorting them out or go with public humiliation. Whichever method fits your style. There can be many different types of wedding crashers that you should be on the lookout for, but if you take the appropriate precautionary measures and have a solid support group ready to handle whatever issues pop up on your wedding day, you too can be free of Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn wannabes.
Local wedding planners note small moves toward ‘green’ weddings By Kevin Bunch While trends toward environmentally friendly weddings have not been particularly prevalent in Northeast Michigan, couples have made a few moves to try and reduce the impact their weddings have on the environment. Shelly Kammerzell, of Antiques & Uniques in Au Gres, said she has seen brides interested in downplaying their environmental impact by moving to recycled paper plates and napkins for their receptions, while avoiding plastic cups and
water bottles when possible. Those couples will also separate out the trash for recycling bins, and will recycle anything they can, she said. For the wedding itself, they tend to give out birdseed to throw instead of rice or bubbles. Kammerzell said there is only so much they can do given the nature of a traditional wedding, however. “I think it’s hard to do one of those ‘save the earth’ type weddings,” she said. “(It’s hard) to have a reception in a hall and think you’re saving the environment.” LouAnn Doak at the Pinconning Cheese
House said they do not see many people come to their hall interested in it either, though since they use normal silverware and glassware for their receptions, she said they are not filling landfills with plastics and other non-biodegradeable items. Jessica Zettle, with the Glass Slipper in West Branch, said she has seen brides shooting for more environmentally-minded party favors. “I have one bride giving away seed packets as a favor, for certain kind of things people can grow afterward,” Zettle said. “Her centerpieces are green, with tiny
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trees (guests) can take home, because that’s part of what she’s giving to guests.” She said she has also seen couples opting to spend their party favor budget instead on causes near and dear to them, from medical research to environmental protection. Zettle said local caterers getting their supplies from local farms is also more environmentally sound, since there is less in the way of pollution from transportation, but noted that most couples simply hire a caterer and entrust them to do their job well, rather than personally managing the food.
Page 10 — Wedding guide –– february 2013
Secret Continued from page 8 much all over the state,” Holland said. “We’ve gone everywhere from Traverse City to Alpena to as far south as Flint. I even had a woman who went to one of the weddings we did and she liked our work so much, so she wanted us to come down and do a wedding in North Carolina. But I couldn’t take the five days off work that it would require to travel down there and do the gig.” While it takes a lot of work to do what he and his wife do, Holland said the joy he gets from being part of someone’s wedding day is more than enough repayment. “One of my favorite things we do is an ‘anniversary dance,’” he said. “We ask everyone who’s married to come out on the floor and we start with the wedding couple and then ask those who have been married five years to leave the floor, 10 years, and so on, until we get to the longest-lasting couple. We did one wedding last year in West Branch where there was more than 5,000 people, but when we did that dance, there was six couples still out on the floor when we got to the 50-year mark. That’s such a rush for me that it gave me goose bumps. That’s why I do what I do.” For more information on Holland Entertainment, visit their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/Holland-Entertainment or call 989-450-0753.
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Sharing Continued from page 2 I’ve used Flock a couple of times, and it’s a really neat application. However, the problem that I noticed is that the app will not function without location services turned on. On my iPhone, the app doesn’t seem to be smart enough to only use the GPS when the app is running. Therefore, my GPS is always going, which in turn drains my phone battery very quickly. So when I do use Flock, I tend to turn location services on and off to conserve battery, thus taking a lot of the automatic functions out of the application, as well as much of the appeal. But for an event like a wedding, it could be neat to use and then turn off at the end of the night. There are likely hundreds of other options available to people for sharing photos in the digital age, so we suggest you search around to see what option might work best for you. But there are certainly a lot of better and cheaper options than the outdated days of disposable cameras.
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Page 12 — Wedding guide –– february 2013
Wonders Continued from page 6 however, I would like to think that the powers that be spared Ben that night, so that he could one day be the man to cook on our wedding day. I worked with Ben for almost four years at a banquet hall/golf course. Seeing that my main job responsibilities were to present all banquet food in an efficient and professional manner to the guests, my fate was always intertwined with those who prepared anything and everything edible. From charity gatherings to golf outings, from weekly buffets to 300-person weddings, Ben would make the food, and I (flanked by a carefully recruited host of Whittemore-Prescott-educated friends/coworkers) would serve it to the ever-hungry masses. I don’t recall exactly how it began, most likely through a casual whisper along the lines of, “Hey man, make sure I get a piece of that stinkin’ wedding cake.” Thus began a regular tradition of procuring a single piece of wedding cake from the happy couple (unbeknownst to them) for the sole purpose of benefitting Ben’s belly. And so it went on, that as soon as the newly minted bride and groom finished taking the first cut of their multi-tiered work of art, the staff of servers and food runners would descend upon its remains to provide pieces to the room full of guests, with one piece always sneaking its way back into the bowels of the kitchen. When I remarked one time to Ben that this reminded me of the island natives in “King Kong” having to make a sacrifice to the titular great best, he merely laughed, most likely because his mouth was full of cake. On the day of my own wedding, I made that sacrifice one more time. While this time it was my cake, the rest of the routine played out quite the same. I’d like to think that this time it felt a bit more special, having the groom give just the slightest of thanks in the form of a heavily frosted pas-
try. The life of a cook, server, waitress or food runner is hardly a celebrated life. Much like the CIA, you only ever hear of them if something has gone wrong. Ben, his boss Peter, and the countless other happy souls who worked hand and foot to provide for us on our wedding day were reunited with many people who knew exactly how easy work can be when you take the time to celebrate the little things in life, such as cake. the couple and the golf course I met my wife at the very place that we would end up being wed (full disclosure: she wasn’t actually my wife when I met her). When working with someone in the service industry, you can usually assume that they are at least somewhat selfless, OR they can pretend that they are selfless to score a worthwhile tip. It was obvious from my first conversations with my Shelly that she was without a doubt as caring and unselfish as she was blonde and beautiful. Not only did she spend her evenings serving food and waiting on many of MidMichigan’s elite socialites, but she spent her mornings working at a day care, diligently cleaning up the messes of other people’s children. (Seriously, who does that?) Our courtship happened through no fault of her own. That is to say, it was 100 percent my evil doing. At that time in my employment, I had earned what little responsibility could be awarded to those who were worthy. And by worthy, I mean people who hadn’t quit and had been there the longest. This allowed me the tiny privileges of scheduling certain people for shifts that happened to involve my diligent supervision. Shelly was one such person who always happened to find herself working under my watchful eye. For those of you thinking that sounds like a total abuse of power, rest assured you are absolutely right.
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It wasn’t long, through sheer overexposure and power of personality, that we began a relationship that has lasted to this very day. As our love grew, we would casually discuss what and where and who our wedding might involve. Something that seemed to have almost decided itself was that we knew we wanted to return to that beautiful place where we met. Granted, if we had met at a Hooters, or a Trailer Park Boys variety show, the decision would not have been that easy. The fact that the banquet hall/golf course in question is a beautiful wooden building with a wall full of windows overlooking Lake Fisher (home to many of my golf balls and a club or two of Ben’s) made it a very serendipitous choice. While no place can ever be perfect (I was asked “Do you know who I am?” not once, but twice while waiting on customers there back in the day), the memories that we had already shared in this cornerstone of our youth made the day we exchanged our vows that much more special. Our wedding day reminded me of the selfless college girl I had met so many years earlier. While we both had our list of demands when it came to our special day, we found ourselves worrying more about all of the others who would be sharing the day with us. Those who thrive in the service industry must come to terms with the fact that their needs are secondary to those of the guest. Why some people (both server AND guest) never realize this fact is a tragedy unto itself. Though it was “our” day, it wouldn’t have been the same if those who came weren’t made as happy as we could have possibly made them. That was not only my biggest concern, but one shared by my caring and selfless bride-to-be. We both met in the context of doing our own little thing to help others (and pay rent) and were married in that same beautiful place,
happy as can be that we were able to share the feeling with friends and family. From the day we first met, she has been my coworker in life, clocking in every day to share the ups, the downs, the laughs and the cries, for as long as life keeps cutting us a check. DISCLAIMER: My groomsmen will call shenanigans on my claim that I “cared for others” solely because of the cost of their tuxedos. This did not stop any of them, however, from admitting how much they all looked like Jon Hamm –– Paul Newman for our older readers –– on our wedding day. honorable Mentions The bearded friend who traveled all the way from the shores of Orange County, Calif. The Vanilla Ice one-man cover band that traveled from the Arizona desert. The bridesmaid who many found fascinating simply because she was from the Upper Peninsula. The collection of “worst” friends who made up the groomsmen, and assorted guests who, among them, would make fun of the groom for being so pale, pushed the alcohol capacity to the limit, and gave the gift of Chef Boyardee spaghetti cans as a wedding gift. The wedding photographer who knew exactly the type of characters and creatures she would be required to photograph for an entire evening. The groom’s sister, who tirelessly imagined and developed all things creative, from the save the dates to the invitations, to the wedding video. To our parents, whose love, caring, financial investment and sense of humor molded two people who would like nothing more than to grow up to be as happy as Mom and Dad. Their story could fill another three pages alone, but I’m not getting paid for this, so it will have to wait for another day.
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