4 minute read
ROUTINES - THE POWER OF DAILY HABITS
from Sunrise Autumn 2019
by Sunrise
ROUTINES - THE POWER OF DAILY HABITS
I remember when my first child started school many moons ago, rushing out of the house every morning became a regular occurrence that it got to a point where we had to rethink strategies. One of these strategies was for us to make a list of all our daily activities to help us create some form of order. In other words, having a routine.
Routines form part of our daily lives. They are part of the school day and also a part of our work day as adults, so it only makes sense that we make them a part of our home life also.
Many of us already have our daily routines without really setting them in place. We tend to do the same things in the morning, after school or work and before we go to bed. Having these routines in place makes our lives a lot easier. We do not even need to think about what we do, we just do it, and this is exactly what we want our children to get into the habit of doing. The younger they are, the quicker they will learn and adapt to routines. Routines should not make us inflexible and robotic, we can still be spontaneous at times but when routines are there, life becomes easier, more organised, less rushed and more relaxed.
Be sure to set or review routines for the new academic year and ensure that everyone understands what is expected so that everything goes smoothly once school reopens. By setting routines right at the beginning of the school year, you and your child are really aiming to start the school year right.
The Benefits of Routine and How it Makes Life Easier
ꞏ When routines are in place, our authority as parents is more respected by the children. By maintaining these routines, it is easier for us to teach our children good habits. They will therefore come to an understanding that there is a routine in place that we must all follow.
• Sometimes our children have that momentary feeling that everything revolves around them. Routines teach our children that life does not revolve around them alone and how they feel at that moment.
ꞏ Children are happier when they know what to expect. A more organised and predictable home environment helps children to feel safer and more secure, particularly in stressful times. I know that many of us must repeat the same thing again and again, day in, day out to our children. In the mornings we ask them to get up, get into the bathroom, get dressed, have breakfast… and so it goes on. If these things are written down and displayed somewhere, after a while, you will not have to keep repeating yourself. Instead, your children will understand that you have an expectation that they will do certain things at certain times, and so all you would need to do is to facilitate them.
ꞏ Lastly, having routines in place makes surprises more special because you are doing something which is different from the norm, and breaking away from the routine.
What happens when there are no routines?
The consequences of having no routines in place can become evident very quickly:
Children can become unruly
They will want to do whatever they want, whenever they want. This is when we end in a power struggle with our children. Everything becomes a big deal and parents have to waste a lot of time and energy and by the time you are finished, both yourself and your child are tired. So, to save energy and to have a productive use of your time, have a routine in place.
Children are less likely to listen
Children will start to wonder where all your requests are coming from because they are not expecting them. ‘Why do I have to do this?’ and ‘Why do I have to do it now?’ may become regular questions in your household. But if your children know that this is the way it is, this is what needs to be done, and that there is something else to follow on from it, e.g. time to watch TV or to relax, then they are more likely to just get it over and done with.
Children become upset and can even get teary
This can sometimes become quite overwhelming especially when children start to throw tantrums because you have asked them to do something.
There may also be times when your children may ask, ‘Can I do that in 10 minutes?’ And that is fine. We don’t have to be rigid. We can also be flexible with routines, especially when the day has been a bit of a rough day. You can give allowances, but because they know that the routines are there, they will still eventually get on and do it with little fuss.
How to Get the Children On-Board with Their Routines
My advice as well as my encouragement to parents would be to go ahead and start to set the routines. I would encourage parents who haven’t already, to sit down at some point this week and make it into a family activity for the week. Make it fun. Get lots of coloured paper, coloured pens and just ask your children to brainstorm. What do we do in the mornings? What do we do when we come back from school? What do we do before we go to bed?
Don’t say to them that we’re setting a routine, we’re going to be organised this school year because that could scare them off and make them lose interest. Make it fun, make it exciting, get the pens ready. Different colours for different sets of routines, and as a family, come up with all the things you do at particular times, and then draw up a routine.
You can come up with some routines with your child, test these and help them keep to it. You will be surprised the difference it makes to your relationships.
I’d like to conclude by encouraging us to focus on helping our children with setting and keeping to routines. I once read this - ‘what we repeatedly do, becomes a habit’. Let’s make great habits for ourselves and our children.
I wish all of our children the very best in this new school year.
Shola Alabi
