What Do You Mean Everything’s Due Today? (And Other Questions I Ask Daily)
A Guide to Surviving AP English 12
Tip 1:
Avoid procrastinating on Twitter #IHaveLostCountlessHoursOfMyYouthOnThisWebsite
Tip 2: Mrs. Mann’s room is either colder than the iceberg from Titanic or hotter than Satan’s oven.
We Suggest Layers.
Tip Three: Volunteer in class. It’s no fun when the same four people talk the whole time.
Tip 3 (continued):
On the other hand, don’t be that person who doesn’t contribute anything meaningful to the conversation. One well thought out point is better than ten arbitrary ones.
“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” -Michael Scott
Tip 4: Despite what the title may lead you to think, 1984 is not a novel chronicling Madonna’s rise to fame in the early eighties.
Tip 5: Comic Sans is never a good idea.
Tip 6:
Keep class discussions on your opinion of the Bible to a minimum.
Tip 7: We know what you’re thinking. Yes, Netflix does have the whole series of Breaking Bad on instant stream. And yes, it does feel like you need to binge watch the whole show, right now.
But here’s the thing, eight episodes into your marathon, you realize it’s 1 am, you only have a paragraph written for your Best of Three essay, and now you know more about the production of meth than you do about the theme of Hamlet. And that’s not a very good position to be in.
So save Netflix for later.
Tip 8: Basically the Same tip. Just refer back to Tip 8, but insert ABC Family in place of Netflix and Harry Potter Weekend in place of Breaking Bad.
You get the point.
Tip 9: Notebook checks are easy points. So stay on top of your organization. It’s really not that difficult to title and number a page (See, look.)
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Tip 10: Be careful when using a thesaurus. The results can be cataclysmic and abominable.
Tip 11: It’s alright if someone disagrees with you in a class discussion. Just nod your head, smile, and hold on to that anger that’s bubbling deep inside, because you KNOW you’re right and they’re just being dumb. Don’t say that last bit out loud though. Just think it.
Tip 12: NEVER WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO WRITE YOUR ESSAY
But if you do, here is all you need. 1.Starbucks VIA ready brew packets (drink liberally)
2. 5 Hour energy (drink conservatively)
3. Pump-up Study Jams (Kalina suggests Biggie Smalls, while Maddie suggests Sarah McLachlan.)
Tip13:
Crack is Whack And so is not proofreading