ask the therapist

Am I A Perfectionist?

Karen L. Kaye, LMHC

Q:Dear Karen Kaye,Many of my friends and family call me a perfectionist. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Thank you so much, Melanie

A:Dear Melanie, Being a perfectionist can be a motivator to do your best, or it can be a hindrance to your success.

In all my columns, the message is the same. If you do not know the messages you carry from childhood, you are an obstacle to yourself because no real change can take place. These thoughts, feelings and beliefs are not even yours and need to be corrected.

A perfectionist can be a person who has a vision and who has a heightened awareness to detail upon completion. Those persons can also be so “one-sighted” that the rest of their lives fall apart (i.e. relationships, health, etc.).

Another type of perfectionist is one who rarely completes a project or any type of effort because it is just not good enough. This usually stems from the belief that they are not good enough and oftentimes give up. They have a belief that they are lazy and yet their problem is quite the contrary.

Both types of perfectionists may need good quality counseling because oftentimes these individuals self-medicate with food, drugs and/ or relationship addiction. Counseling needs to include what they are overcompensating for from their childhood and to learn to accept and deal with their imperfections.

Sincerely, Karen L. Kaye, LMHC

Karen Kaye is currently accepting new clients. Sessions take place via telehealth to ensure your safety. If you are interested in scheduling a session, please contact her at 954-384-1217 or by email at KarenKayeCares@bellsouth.net. See ad page 29.

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