“Fade Into You,” acrylic painting by Mazzy Star how I wanted to turn away, to run from that graveyard forever, but the same power which had driven me to the specter now pulled me in once more, willing me to surrender myself to the flames and my fate. I glanced at the specter for a moment and I thought I saw it nod, as if to confirm all my fears. I would step forward and resign myself to the flames. I would obey. I would ... But then I felt my hand, still gripping the pistol in my pocket. I had only to shoot, and the specter would be gone. I had faced Death many times before, his icy grasp had crept through my veins, only to be thawed by fire of youth. But I had left my vigor behind inside a muddy trench in far off France, and I could almost feel the poison gas burning in my throat as my head turned foggy, and once again my heart filled with that holy terror which consumes a man at the brink of his demise. But it was not all over yet. Through the fog there came another image, a vision far clearer than the rest. A wom-
an and her children, our children, all I had hoped for and fought for. The life I had won, that, although not perfect, I would go through the very pits of Hades to preserve. Suddenly my head seemed to be cleared, and I found myself filled with strength once again. I realized that be it an angel from Heaven, a demon from Hell or something in between, nothing in creation can match the resolve of man. In that moment there was no right or wrong, no black or white. Only I had the power to save my life, and I knew what I must do. With a shaking hand I raised the pistol and pointed it at the specter’s heart. It stood completely still, mockingly, as if to say Arrogant man! We both know that you do not have the strength to do it. The figure held up a hand. “Go back to the netherworld, demon of the abyss!” I shouted with as much strength as I could muster. A shot rang out, and all was silent.
Once again my heart filled with that holy terror which consumes a man at the brink of his demise.
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