Journey of Introspection & Expression by Swati Khambhayata

Journey of Introspection & Expression Documentation and Expression of R. S. Beri Fellowship Period

Compiled by: Swati Khambhayata Mentored by: Ar. Shirish Beri

ABOUT This document is an attempt to document and represent the journey which began in July 2017 when I obtained the Fellowship for Introspections and Expressions. This fellowship has been initiated under the CEPT B.Arch Program by Architect Shirish Beri. After accomplishing the graduation in architecture, the fellowship began in December 2017 since then I stayed at various Wplaces involved in a wide spectrum of activities. The Idea of this compilation came when I thought to find common links among the transitional experience of various towns, cities, villages and my engagements with that place and to draw a parallel between the surrounding landscapes and my inner journey. Here, the illustrations show the landscapes which I was in and the writings (essays and conversations) shows the changeovers of the thoughts and vision which has developed along the journey. During the last nine months when this freedom of time was provided to me through the fellowship, I juggled through many places and activities. Here, the constant was the search - a quest to understand the moving life and meaning of my engagement with the world. It is the compilation of the experiences, essays and observations made on Profession and Surroundings as some of the answers to the Quest. The search is still on but now the medium tends to change from mental to physical, from thoughts to action. My interest to engage with the world has remained more or less similar but the ability to contemplate and respond over to life-events has sharpened my senses to make more conscious life-choices.

All the text, images and drawings are original work of the Author.

swatikhambhayata@gmail.com CEPT University, Ahmedabad

CONTENT Conversations Essays Places Experiences Thoughts

Conversations Since the beginning of the fellowship, I have been writing about my thoughts and engagements through the mail and there have been discussions on various topics. These mail conversations with Beri sir are put together here through which the thought processes throughout the fellowship period can be tressed and understood.

dear Swati, it was good to meet and interview you at CEPT on 7th July and read your mail yesterday. I was happy to see that you have risen above the domestic adversities and financial limitations to successfully complete your architectural studies at CEPT.

19.07.2017

I would now like to see how through this fellowship, you would start this new process of unlearning and unconditioning yourself from all the brainwashing and conditioning that the society inflicts upon us. can you use this period of pause and introspection to reassess your values in life and their relationship with the kind of architecture you do, or would like to do. I have read your revised s.o.p. that they sent me. I am still not very happy with it as I feel that you have not fully grasped the concept and the purpose of this fellowship. i would like this period of fellowship to be the true turning point in your life. can you please resubmit a more detailed s.o.p. (can be any number of words) based on what we discussed as well as what i write here. see if you can let us know the approximate form and nature of the deliverables at the end of the fellowship. do write to me if you have any doubts. you can sometimes fix a time to call and talk to me. please feel free to do so. I feel truly concerned about the outcome of this fellowship, as it is something very close to my heart. Do spend some time on pondering over the nature of this fellowship in a broad, holistic way to make a rough tentative schedule for these 25 to 35 weeks . this can be modified during the course of the fellowship, if necessary during the course of the fellowship, it would be necessary for you to meet and interact with me a few times on what all has been happening as well as how you would like to go ahead in your search.. All of us would also appreciate your maintaining the accounts for the amounts that you would spend for the purpose of this fellowship. i am copying this mail to all concerned, so that maybe, they could help you in finalizing your detailed s.o.p. but from now on we can interact with each other only. best wishes as always. shirish Beri

Statement of Purpose

30.08.2017

The aim is to wield the course of the fellowship period to gain an understanding and define the orientation of Life as a practice of oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beliefs. To find few answers which are longed to last forever reasoning oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s existence. The course of fellowship period will commence with excluding the use of digital devices, a secondary source of knowledge and by embracing the slow-paced lifestyle in the place where people still rely on nature for their livelihood activities. Places which are not affected by the time of IT, where the wisdom is gained by cultivating knowledge and where people still rely on their intuitions to take decisions. The aim is to learn and know through the hands-on experience. The initial period of the journey is about contemplating manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best dialogue with nature which is farming, which is also to achieve a long-term goal of turning urban terraces into urban farms. The activity of agriculture will help me in being anchored in new and unknown place. Doing farming related activities in the village-like area will provide me with an opportunity to deal with local people and context. Apart from farming, any productive activity which involves Making/Doing will be taken up as a second step, as opportunity comes, for example, Pottery or learn any other unexplored skills. With that The intention is to study the relationship which emerges among the materials/built environment, people and their activities - A study of place-making. This study will be done along with the productive activity as mentioned above. As the context is explored and known, I will look for the opportunity to make an on-site intervention which will be evolved from the learnings of place-making study. Hence, there are three parts of this journey 1) Knowing/learning - through being 2) Making/doing - gaining skills 3) Representing - Conveying the learnings through intervention or experiential installation

31.08.2017 dear swati, good to read your mail. this s.o.p. reads much better and does address some of the objectives of this fellowship. you have mentioned three parts of your journey - knowing, making and representing. one important initial addition to these would be that of introspection - cultivation of wisdom / attitudes. actually all these four processes are not separate parts but are the integral parts of this holistic journey of life.

do let me know when it would be possible for you to come to kolhapur to discuss this and chart out your future course of action. i shall be away between 16th sep. and 23rd sep. and again from 15th oct. to 30th oct. all the best.

relooking at Routine 25.10.2017 There is an interesting juncture of time and place in the bodily experience. The skills which I have acquired till now, the activities which I have performed repeatedly over the span of years at various places,a reservoir has been created under my skin. Again thinking about those past activities I relive that time, repeating them again provides me with a different state of mind to relook at the things and time. It provides a perspective, different than a routine life. Walking up and down along the corridor length, doing a thoughtless job, my eyes stare at the range of trees from the open side of the corridor, facing a huge open backyard filled with huge trees and vegetation. The quest is to look at the experience that goes under the skin, experiences which are felt physically and (touch, smell, sound, taste, hear) mentally (in the emotion of being happy, sad, frustrated, euphoric, numb, calm, peaceful, joy, creative, satisfied stressed, etc.) For example choosing a way of commute, places which one visits, people one meets, type of place one chooses to

stay, recreational, skill-based activities, knowledge-based activities one decides to do. I perform these tasks and that bodily experience of the time and place at the threshold of inside and outside creates a blank state of mind and provides a room to relook. It is an experience of performing an activity which is felt physically and mentally. The memory of preparing a fertilizer using cow-dung, water and organic waste; making elaborated parapets using mud around the plants in a vegetable garden; encountering an unexpected water channel flowing smoothly in a farm filled with bright sun, an experience of touching and drinking that cool water used to be exhilarating.

These are the lived experiences which occurs in a particular time and place when routine activities are converted into an introspective/re-looking/ contemplative time. During the time of fellowship I am longing to explore this routine.

Hello Sir,

30.10.2017

Good afternoon! It’s great to hear from you. The reaction is still there but I am in working condition, should be fine soon. Yes! I will make notes to initiate the discussion on the same line ahead. I have been in a dilemma about what to consider and discuss with you regarding the fellowship. As it happens, one wants to do every possible thing when given freedom of time after a long. For example, apart from the main intentions of the fellowship program, I am willing to initiate reading sessions to read - let’s say, Heidegger. The idea of the reading session is to read in an atmosphere which provides a mental space to read, contemplate and discuss. I am yet to work out the practicals for this. My other inclination is to be involved in ‘making’. Making - compared to design work and computer work is an activity which allows to experience time differently. For example, making an earthen pot or chapati or piece of furniture. The recipe to make anything is never the same as we require embodied skills for these activities. As of now, the plan is to start with UP through WWOOF(organic farming) and continue from then onwards as opportunities come to engage with other things. I will be ready on for a further discussion on 17th. Meanwhile kindly share or suggest if there is any other material for me. Discussion with you or you and Kashi sir, both works for me. With warm regards, Swati

dear swati,

01.11.2017

yes, handling freedom requires greater care, understanding, restraint and a greater sense of responsibility. we shall discuss all this and hopefully, you will get some direction after that. we can do that at the cept campus on 17th ... either in the morning or in the afternoon session. shall let you know the time nearer to this date. best, shirish beri

29.11.2017 An animate in the Urban

Hello Sir,

29.11.2017

Hope you are doing well! It is quite an exciting time which is finally initiating the phase of transition in life. I am moving from Ahmedabad to a town in Gujrat to initiate my unknown search. The plan is to visit a few towns and then finalize the stay in one of those places. I am intending to stay there for 40-50 days. I will be staying in a town where transport, food and stay are conveniently available and then slowly (If get an appropriate place) move to remote area/ village to spend more time with myself without being disturbed or worried about basic necessities and safety. I will go with a couple of Books and sketching kit; will engage with other opportunities as it comes on the way. One of the thing which I am willing to do is to sketch the experiences and spaces which relates to an emotion of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;being at Homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;(Dwelling). It is about living the intangible part consciously by observing and sketching. I checked the books you suggested and found them very interesting and spread over the wide perspectives. I am intending to select books according to a place I am in. In further discussion, I will share the final place and other things. Here, I am attaching a frame, which I am watching every day while taking small breaks from the thesis work and stare at them during different times, Seeing the sun rising and setting, turning the colours of the leaves changing in the morning, noon, evening and night time... Kindly share your thoughts, opinions and suggestions over this and have a look at a picture below... With warm regards, Swati

21.12.2017 Hello Sir, I am yet in Ahmedabad, as the internal and external was going on and I decided to stay here as the Viva is coming soon. I am moving to a farm, 30km far from Jaisalmer on 28th December and I will be staying for maybe two weeks. After that, I will spend the next 10 weeks in different towns of Rajasthan. I have registered in WWOOF through that I have found this organic farm. Apart from farming, they are making huts - Bhungas for the volunteers to stay. I will come to know more about the farm once I speak to the owner tomorrow or day after. Currently, I am spending, I can say kind of a ‘calm’ time. As I shared through a message earlier, I am reading a book - freedom from the known. My routine starts a day little late mostly, waking up without an alarm or a call. Do everyday tasks which I used to do only a few years back - go for the tea at the kitli near girls hostel, come back and was a part of the piled up clothes (since 5-6 weeks), go for brunch, buy some fresh veggies and fruit for later snacks time, go for a walk/read a book/spend time on campus just roaming around, watching around... Again take a book and read sitting in a corner at a campus, listening to the confusing sounds around like feeling a presence of road nearby, birds chirping and then also sounds of hammering, people discussing things about life, changing crowd of the new campus! All sorts of contradictory things happening outside and inside me. Someday, I wake up early and see the beautiful sunrise in the cloudy sky. Walk on the empty roads filled with fresh air. Go to campus and enjoy a cup of tea on the terrace with myself and look at the mild sun. I have started kind of unpacking my stuff in the hostel room. I declutter and deduct the objects I don’t require to deal with and to possess minimum objects in a meaningful manner. The social part of my life has been a little controversial inside me. I have been an introvert person but I, of course, enjoy among friends. I have a group of about 4 people who are close friends. Apart from that the rest of the people have been changing after every short term. I have been struggling to accept the fact that I am an introvert person but recently I have started observing calmly the relationships between myself and others. I am settling down with calmness, observing an opening of another perspective in everyday life. This sounds like a perfect time when I am reading ‘freedom from known’. While decluttering I opened up a box of materials from which I used to make jewellery in my free time before 3 years. I used to go to the market in the old city in the second year and I used to pick up beautiful threads and beads of various kinds and make something out of it to wear for me. Being fascinated I have bought materials from all the cities I have lived in - Ahmedabad, Rajkot and Coimbatore. So, recently I have started making jewellery again from the huge collection of materials. So, that is the more or less what I am doing recently. It has been really hectic since 6-8 months, as the period of The thesis was stretched almost two years now. This calmness is kind of restructuring the routine and preparing me to make the journey ahead among the unknowns. It took me almost a week to realise that actually Thesis work is over. Not because of the deadline but it was difficult to bring out a kind of conclusion to the mental process of one year. Its been tiring mentally. Yet I am happy with the end profit if this process. I would love to show you my thesis when we meet and it would be great to hear your critique. I have been wondering if I should share with you these experiences. It is a long mail you had to read. I am yet just observing around till I find a better way to express myself. For now, I write it in a diary and click a few pictures. Thank you very much for your time. With warm regards, Swati

sand and stone, desert and fort

Sunset at the fort 06.01.2018

The sprawling horizon.. bright orange smooth sky merging with and sinking into the pale blue horizon. I see earth, its changing landscape and feel of the desert and the sand dunes… The ground made of the stabilized sand, sand dunes, the yellow stone hills, human-made landscape, a yellow ground story built forms, rising and becoming the living fort. Remnants of the great kingdom of maharaval ‘Jaisal’. The fort was found in the 12th century.

One desires to walk, to pause, to run, to jump… and the city allows it all; walking around the fort, on a slope, grasping sites of the fort wall, walking along the road parallel to fort wall. Apart from the facades on both side of the streets, I recognize the roads and streets through slopes. Lost in the old and dense part of the city I figured out the way to fort following the slopes of streets, taking me upwards towards the fort, the narrow streets and threestory havelies hide the fort in the downtown. 14

Jaisalmer fort Relooking at routine

Standing on the fort, I see the city standing in the middle of the flat, sandy and dry landscape. I see hefty Rajasthani people walking in fast pace up and down, also somewhere sitting in the cool shadows with ease. Few people walking around, wearing pathani kurta reminds me of that of the shepherd of ‘Alchemist’ when I relate them with their forefathers with Arabs who might be doing a trade on silk route earlier. Animals here are yet not so friendly, living their lives away from human settlements in the natural environment; they observe people around,taking their time before responding.

hi swati,

08.01.2018

i was glad to read your mail in new zealand ... the mood of your mails seems to be gradually changing ... it appears more contemplative and relaxed. you mention “calm time” which feels good. is this internal calmness finding any external expressions in any manner? “un cluttering “ and “de cluttering” is so very important in our lives ... to keep only the very essentials. many people do not understand this and end up in a mess. i enjoy un cluttering of everything - my mind, my design, my table, my drawers, my bag, my car, my bank accounts etc. etc. after this de cluttering i feel lighter, clearer, cleaner, fresher and kind of rejuvenated. observing can also be a good activity / non-activity.... if it is done without personal identification and attachment. these observations can become our guides in different situations in the future. what have been your understandings from the book “freedom from the known “. i had heard krishnamurti live when i was your age. what are your observations/ learnings from the farm near jaisalmer and from jaisalmer itself? do feel free to share your thoughts, experiences and understandings with me... it is something new for me too ... somebody’s exploring and unfolding. feel free, open and just think aloud. our entire correspondence too can become part of this deliverable at the end of your fellowship for the cept library. it is not necessary to get caught up in too much of result oriented activity. all the best.

Yellow Fort 10.01.2018

There is a great yellow fort standing in the middle of the desert. there spring few desert plants and seldom trees at the bottom of the city and the fort sits on a hill. Entering the city from Jodhpur road, descending in a large very shallow valley, there you see the city and the fort upright. Strong sprawling on strong huge rocky walls, the fort is set far. Lost among the narrow roads one always has visual access to the fort, the reference point; whereas near the patawa haveli in the old part of the city, you lose your visual reference. Lost for a while among deep and narrow streets of Jaisalmer, I walked and walked around. The streets had a different character. The extreme was a street where the houses on both the sides had covered their front facades, so the elevation was straight vertical porous (metal jali) surface. There were many cows on the

street, few people talking loudly to their neighbours. The street was comparatively clean yet the air was filled with cow dung smell. Cows and people were sharing the same environment together. When the great fort was built that was by a king and a state â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the Jaisalmer state â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with a large number of villages along the dessert. The first wall of the city was built 900 years ago. Apart from the fort, there are many places belonging to silk route untill the present border town. Each and every place has its own story which is connected with the landscape and the state intimately. Brahmins were the rich, intelligent, knowledgeable and hence respectable community at that time of the kingdom. Their houses were most advanced and articulated as one can see at the Kuldhara village.

07.01.2018 | Jaisalmer fort Relooking at routine

abandoned Paliwal Brahmin villages Visit to

12.01.2018

Kuldhara village is one of the 83 abandoned villages located around the Jaisalmer city. These villages were once inhabited by Paliwal brahmins. As I heard the story from locals these villages were abandoned by the brahmins overnight. Since then many villages have been rehabilitated and many of them are turned into ruins now. During my visit to two of such villages, I came to know more about the Paliwal Brahmins. During that time period, Paliwal brahmins were one of the intelligent community in the Jaisalmer state. Who took decisions regarding the city planning, agriculture as well as played a significant role in the royal council. Their skills regarding city planning, architecture and agriculture were visible in these two villages. Every house has been oriented in the east-west direction with each having a square courtyard. All closed spaces were connected to semiopen which further opened up into a courtyard. In the hot and dry climate of the desert, these houses provided cool interior spaces for their inhabitants. In the hilly terrain, it was a flat lower plain that was where all the rainwater was collected. It was locally known as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Khariâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and water was used for agriculture. All kind of vegetables and fruits were grown here by the Brahmins for the royal family. In the middle of the desert, one could see the large green patch near Khabha fort, which once must have been the only resource of fresh crops before the modern development of Indira Gandhi Canal.

Google earth image of Kuldhara village

From the terrace of a House , Kuldhara

Closed space of a house, Kuldhara

Verndah of a house, Kuldhara

View of a Khabha village ruins from the fort

Google earth image of Khabha village

Hello Sir, It’s great to receive your response.

12.01.2018

I came to Jaisalmer with a group of my friends 12 days ago and I was to stay in one of the three farms around Jaisalmer. I found these farms through WWOOF. One out of three agreed for my volunteering at his farm so I visited the farm and stayed there for two days but somehow I had to leave from there. I found a hostel there and spend time in Jaisalmer for 10 days which has been really interesting and different kind of experience. I met many travellers from around the world and visited many places in and around Jaisalmer. I met many locals, talked with them about the history, culture and their lives in Jaisalmer. Here I am sending you my daily notes, I hope you will enjoy reading it. I am going to Ahmedabad and then Rajkot as there is a convocation ceremony on 20th Jan. From there I am planning to go for ‘Vipassana’ for 10 days, then come and meet you in Kolhapur, and head towards Coimbatore. I arrived in Jaisalmer for farming which didn’t happen, though it was a very good time while engaging with people, culture, landscape and architecture of the city. I finished ‘Freedom from the known’ but I feel I need to spend more time alone, with myself, in more peaceful environment hence, I will make sure I begin my stay in a more natural environment this time. With regards, Swati Khambhayata

hi swati,

14.01.2018

god to read your mail... i had thought you were on your personal, solitary journey. you mention travelling there with a group of friends ... was that necessary ? where they with you till 10th or 12th ? you mention that you had to leave the farm in two days .. why ? i ask because this reason for leaving can also offer you some important insight on your journey. jaisalmer is a great place.. lot to see/ learn ... was this your first time ? it was created by the desert- silk route dacoits from their loot. where do you plan to do your 10 daysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; vipassana course ? and when ? it will give you good solitude for 9 days to journey within yourself. i have done this course twice... ... once in igatpuri and once in dehra doon. do let me know when you are coming to kolhapur, so that i can adjust my other dates accordingly or you can adjust yours. keep around 3-4 days. what will you do in coimbatore ? i hope you are keeping a record of your basic, approximate expenses done from the fellowship amount. maybe, cept or me would like to see them sometime. warmly, shirish beri

relieving Evening 25.01.2018

The storm of uncounted thoughts had taken over my mind since I returned home after my convocation event. My stay at home would become frequent as I recently decided to take up something in this area to spend some time at home, finally after six and a half years. I took the decision to stay home so that I can cope-up with my family. From a typical Gujarati family of Rajkot, I somehow managed to take admission in B.Arch at CEPT University. Actually, my persistent hard work in school, my brilliant parents from whom I had inherited creativity and passion to live life at its full and genuine selfless efforts of my relatives, teachers and principals led me into a life of dream which I could never have actually dreamt about. As earlier I was not aware only of the existence of a field like architecture. I was blinded by the freedom which life provided at that stage. I explored each and everything that came on my way which of course influenced my academics both negatively and positively. But I got to see the world and here I am, on a journey of exploration and introspection where my day starts as fresh as the dew drops, as free as the bird, as new as the patterns of the clouds in the morning sky and also as bright and energetic as the morning sun. (all thanks to Shirish Beri, who has afforded me this time of exploration and introspection) Being back at home, I spent a couple of days in frustration, not knowing where to start and how to start. I could not think of how to disconnect with the

past and live in the present moment to grasp the opportunity to take make ‘now’ better. My growth, way of life and my ideas were nowhere to cope-up with my family’s life who were still living a similar life as to back in 6 years. Only thing was they were little concerned about my career and carefree way of living life. I had realized long ago, it’s not just hell lot of money I require but also their perspective towards life needs to be altered. That is one of the reasons I decided to stay home, but this frustration made my life hell and it helped my family in no ways. One morning I decided to just accept the situation, that I can’t really change anything. I dream of changing the world and it was a frustration to see that I can’t even change my family’s perspective towards life for better. Yet, I had to accept reality. Yet, I accepted that I can change nothing. All I can do is ensure my siblings better education and see at least their future as bright as mine. I accepted I can do nothing to improve in ‘now’ and that’s how I could get rid of the burden I felt while breathing in this house. I was happy to leave for the field work next day morning. Happily, I left early morning with Parth sir for the field work of the project, I was to help them for a particular project to spend time in the rural area, with kids and among the natural environment. My role in this project was to interact with primary school kids and guide them to manifest their imaginary of states of India, as an event held by ESSAR under their CSR activity and supported by the centre for environmental education.

The drive from Rajkot to Khambhaliya was quite shocking for me, it seemed as if the industrial development of Gujarat had progressed little too much! More than farms my vision met industries and power plants at the sprawling horizon. I could smell the widespread industries in the air, I could see the slow devastation done by these humongous industries in this part of the Gujrat. I could see the lives of citizens here and nature who was paying for the ‘development’ which our current government is promoting in all possible manners !! I had heard of these giant companies situated in this part of the Gujrat but it was heartbreaking to see them! I reached our site and we rushed to our meeting with ESSAR. Along the coastal area, these giants (ESSAR, Reliance etc.) owned the land where they had established refineries and power plants. It was an eerie feeling aroused from the imagery around, imagining the kind of natural and human exploitation these giants would be doing on daily basis to run such huge industries. It was an astonishing moment when I related the number of efforts CEE was putting for this area against the damage the companies were doing on daily basis. My discussion with part shah and Ayugbhai(CEE) again put me in astonishment and I learned something… The oil refineries where inevitable when so many millions of Indian drive oil based vehicles. The people who are running these companies and humans being exploited here are the same people, it is their different situation which has made them who they are but a dialogue among them can alter the situation! And I felt relief to believe in this.

It was a fruitful field trip in terms of regaining mental peace and hope. Now, back at home, I could see the scenario with a different perspective…… It’s me, my 16-year-old brother, 22-year-old sister and my parents who live in one story house. Apart from the inconvenience, there is no space for one to look inside oneself and reflect back. Life is monotonous and hardworking, yet hopeful and passionate. My parent’s ethics, vision, patience and creative thinking have percolated through all three of us. As I could never imagine myself standing here, the kind of person I have become, I am sure I am gonna make it larger than life. Middle of these thoughts I remember my conversation with my mother while sitting on the green and open campus of AES about the power of nature… It can not take place within these walls, there is no such place within this enclosure. It is not the small area of the house but it is the walls which are restricting. The restricted vision also restricts the mind and one’s abilities. I need to break these walls. I need to break these walls in order to let them dream and live a more meaningful life. Only then their imagination and their vision will touch the sky, flying in the infinite sky. I can already see how I can alter their way of life if I can change the space they are inhabiting. I see the potential of the space to alter the thoughts and hence lives!

Just when I lose contact with the activities and sneak out in my surroundings. Just when I pause to watch the world go. And just when I gather myself to meet the world again! Pilgrims in Red: the Moving silhouettes CEE site office, Mithoi 24.02.2018

Hello Sir,

1.02.2018

I apologize for the delay... Yes, I received your mail. As you know I convocated on the 20th of last month and went home for a couple of days. I went to meet Parth (‘91 batch) and Brinda Shah (‘91 batch) in Rajkot and they were quite happy knowing about the fellowship I have received. It’s been great to meet them during this time and I have got a great opportunity to help them in one of the activity. As you might know, BPSA and CEE have been working together for many years in improving educational and farming activities of Saurashtra region. In Khambhaliya district CEE receives funds from ESSAR and they are doing a flagship event at the end of February where 18 government schools will participate. Name of the event is Bharat Ek Khoj where each school will represent one state. Here, I am helping them with this event. My role is to interact with school kids, engage them with their given state and suggest how to make the presentation(medium-2d,3d, audio-visual, live) of their abstract ideas about the states. It’s already been a week I am living here in a village where their(CEE) site office is. My reason for being a part of this event is, I have never worked in this region before neither lived here since I left Rajkot for graduation. Other things, I always wanted to work with government school kids as I studied in govt school once. But I would never take a decision to work in this region and with govt schools as a professional. So, this is a great time when I can spend time in this region. It’s been busy days since I arrived here. I go to school every day, interact with kids and help them know about the world they don’t even know exists. Being it govt schools teachers are not so enthusiastic, so they do not engage students in the learning process rather they give information and give them tasks for the presentations. Here, my role becomes important. I try to direct students while asking them questions, giving them comparisons and then the fun process of the presentation begins. I direct them to abstract ideas from the images of the states and ask them to make a drawing or model and they come up with interesting ideas for using materials and making drawings. There is no room for them to explore in this manner with their teachers as the teachers don’t really see their potential. Till now, I have been gathering their ideas and thoughts. Next week, we will be providing them with the materials and see what they come up with. There is quite an interesting learning process going on in Kthis schools, as Parth Shah, Brinda Shah, and CEE is associated with the event. Also, in terms of everyday life, I see many paradoxes. Here, we (CEE and BPSA team) are putting so many efforts for the better environment and in building the values in the life of people who belong to bottom of the pyramid in general human development. And there stand the giant companies like Reliance and ESSAR who has really corrupted and polluted this part of Gujarat. While roaming around on the narrow roads passing through large farms, I see a huge silhouette of a refinery on the horizon and I wonder whether I should use this two-wheeler to roam around or not!

Shelter in the surroundings Reading “Akupar”, CEE site office, Mithoi Feb,2018

People living in these villages are very much attracted by city life and they crave to become a big person just to be able to afford city life. Apart from the environmental damage, quality of life and human values seems degrading here, due to the presence of giant companies. I feel good to work with the kids at least, where I can make them value the life they are living. I feel good when their teachers see the way I interact with kids with so much of interest and the outcome I get from them. Also, its very interesting for me to see how CEE and BPSA negotiates with ESSAR, As the event is funded by them, they want to see nice, neat and clean presentations but CEE and BPSA is dealing well with ESSAR and they are managing to continue this event as a learning, event rather than a one day exhibition. This is what I am involved with currently, I shall share more observations and thoughts when we meet. Let me know your opinion on this... I will be going for Vipassana in the first week of March. I am planning for Kolhapur around 10th February, will you be available during this time? I will check train availability and book tickets once I get confirmation from you. With warm regards, Swati Khambhayata

Architecture and Practice 06.02.2018 One is required to work systematically in a wellorganized manner to reduce the uncertainties. Construction drawings and method of construction need to have a certain level of clarity and accuracy to fulfil the intentions of the designer. Architect deals with a range of professionals from the beginning to the end of the architectural project. The designer is one but many participate in the execution of an idea and manifest it into a built form. Hence, Architect is required to develop an accurate method to communicate with a range of professional in a way so that the information(e.g. Drawing) retains its value. Also, when a group of people works under an architect, she is required to train them according to the system she has developed. One needs to work like a machine in order to produce and manage the information to build the project. The ultimate concept to give an experiencer everlasting and most meaningful experience of space and form where the building resonates with its context and fulfils all functional requirements. That’s how the designing process starts, one’s brain is engaged in finding the best possible organization of space among so many concerns and requirements. And to manifest this great concept into a built form, one follows the building construction process. I ask myself, what does this lengthy process mean? Which part/parts I rejoice in? How is this process engaging me in forming the overall meaning of my life? What part does this process play in the journey or ambition of life? I am posing these question in front of myself because I feel this is the way contemporary architectural offices work. I look forward to finding my answers and accordingly I expect myself to adjust or change the way I work as an Architect. 28

That was about the method of practice. Also, let us get some clarity on the Building. Utopian ideas are to minimize the footprint and create more shelter in the existing buildings but if I say, I am going to build then what is my appetite in designing and building? What is it that building does to its inhabitants which aspires me to build one? In the end, it is about the inhabitants because I am not a sculpture. Many times I feel the situations, the ‘now’ would have been better if I was in an appropriate space. But sometimes the built environment is appropriate yet it does not help the inhibitor to perform her tasks properly ( enjoy working while also giving her best in the work) due to a certain environment which is affected by people who run/control the place. There are always better places to be in, better people to be surrounded by. In this case, independence and freedom in terms of space and environment are required for one to perform properly. Again, there’s a question regarding the method of practice, can an architect afford this freedom and independence to meet all the deadlines on time? What can be the alternative to practise this complex profession properly, for an architect and for her co-workers both? Is there a way to simplify the meaning of building and hence the process and method? Architecture is nothing but a shelter. The meaning of shelter has become more complicated with contemporary needs and ideas. Mass production, need for rapid construction, standardization... all these aspects have made the architectural practice driven by machinery. Here, the victims are ‘labourers’. Labourers, who are aspired to gain skills, who do not have decision making power, who suffer on their own choice.

good to read your mail and that you are enjoying your work, swati.

2.02.2018

find out after this flagship event as to how it has really benefitted the students, the villagers and you. would you do it again ? what was your learning? try and understand the nature of these exercises in relation to your life / your values. we criticize the polluting large corporates/ industries and work with the money doled out by them...?? hope you are documenting all that you have been doing there and earlier... writings, videos, photos, brochures, etc. of that event. i had met parth and brinda at cept once... good to know about their present activity. what is CEE & BPSA ? you can come to kolhapur on 9th evening or 10th feb. morning. we all may leave for the lakehouse that day. only one direct train in a week to kolhapur on sunday ... not convenient. there are direct night buses too or you could come to pune and take a 5 hour bus ride to kolhapur. keep 3 days at least for our interaction. there may be some other things happening during this time too. by the way, congratulations on your becoming an architect !! sorry, i forgot. all the best. shirish beri

22.02.2018 Singach salt farm

Unknown-new-Engaging 12.02.2018

Andur 13.02.2018

It is the unknown, newness which is engaging it asks for the attention and makes one aware, attending to things while walking, eating, breathing…and while living! One observes the beauty around herself, infinite beauty, one cannot take that beauty, neither can add, it is just there. The beauty is not about arriving, neither to leave, it is of now. It was there and it will be there but that is not the point. I wanted to breathe it all… The wind was carrying the scent of the forest, forest which is becoming warm as the sun is moving above… The wind from the window at the back, carried the scent across the living area to the front garden, to the lake and the hills again. The wind carried the smell of the tomatoes which are being cooked with few other ingredients. The wind brought those tomatoes into living and carried it further in the garden and then to the lake…

Andur Lake

A day in Ahmedabad and journey to the Kolhapur was very bizarre. The vibes of the Kolhapur were different; I entered the city with ease. I found Kolhapur a beautiful city, situated among the hilly region. Journey to Andur from Kolhapur was mesmerizing, passing through small villages, travelling the ups and downs of the road, we arrived into a remote area where there was pin-drop silence. I felt blessed to touch this part of the earth; not too far from Kolhapur yet remote. A place disconnected from digital reality as well as all kind of pollutions. Since I arrived at Andur Lakehouse, all I hear is the birds and insects, trees, wind and water. The lake house is among the mountains, near a lake. The natural around here is silence, stillness, darkness. I spent my time here observing a variety of plants, trees, sky, water, creatures and birds in and around the lake. We go for the walk before sunrise. Today I saw clouds and mist settled in valleys and slowly lifting up as the sun rises. We had our tea sitting on a table, beside the lake water; while seeing the rising sun from the hills. I spent days in silence, in contemplation, indulged in a discussion on various topics with sir, for my surprise I came to know, he has lived life this way since he graduated. I realized it’s not too difficult to live a happy life! In fact, it is very simple and it becomes simpler when one is aware of the choices and paths he/she takes. It is an immense amount of joy I felt when I walked along the lake and had that whole surrounding for myself! No human presence around, far from the routine life, without the network, I spent time contemplating the things around. In the night when I slept, It was blinding darkness around me. I could see nothing, it was frightening at first but then I settled in. I saw earth moving in the night, shifting stars in the sky. There were only stars which I could see from the big window of my room while sleeping in darkness. A still water body, reflecting blue sky and green hills, the fresh and flowing air has allowed experiencing such serenity and freedom!

23.02.2018 | khambhaliya that was it all

A month in Khambhaliya region February 2018

The second month of the fellowship was spent in Mithoi, a village 40 km far from Jamnagar City. I stayed in CEE site office in Mithoi for a month and made few visits to Rajkot (my hometown) during this time. CEE runs learning centres in Government schools of this region and also contributes to developing an infrastructure of schools through various programs. They raise funds for their activities under CSR (corporate social responsibility) of ESSAR oil ltd. In February end, the flagship event of ESSAR was to take place where 18 Government schools would participate. Each school was given one Indian state to represent through drawings, models, audio-visuals and live perfor-

mances. It was BPSA (Brinda & Parth Shah Architects ) and CEE (Centre for Environmental Education) team who conceptualised the process of the event which became a learning process of one month for the students, not remaining just a one-day exhibition. Here, my role was to interact with primary school kids and direct them in making the presentation. My interest for involving in this short-term project was to interact with village kids, know about their schooling, visit government schools and get familiar with the manner in which CEE carries out various agricultural and educational development in rural areas.

So, during one monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stay at CEE site office in Mithoi, I explored 18 Government schools, dealt with school principals, more than 50 teachers and 300 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 350 students. I had a companion for this task and a team of around 12-15 people who were working on the material supply and doing other preparations for the final event day. During the one month when students were working on the presentation my role was to imbibe information in a way so that the process of making drawings and models would become a learning in itself. With the school teachers and my team, we collected information on each state, presented it to students and engaged them in a discussion to bring out ideas on presentation and how to execute them. With that we also introduced model making materials and techniques. It was astonishing to see how many of them came up with brilliant ideas of making 3-dimensional models from various materials. Some students were shy and silent during the discussion but we observed their creative energy when they were doing hands-on activities. The atmosphere of the school completely changed in last week when all students were actively working on various things, learning in different way compared to traditional textbook knowledge. They faced many problems while making drawings and models and came up with solutions as well. They learned about proportions, structural stability, joineries and techniques of using various materials.

During site visits I observed various school buildings. Apart from the quality of the built, the teachers and their engagement with the school really impacted the school environment. In the schools, where students were given enough freedom, I could see various creative activities done by them. In these schools most of the teachers I found lethargic, delivering the same textbook knowledge in traditional way since years. Most of the schools had a very casual atmosphere where no one followed the discipline to maintain the learning atmosphere. These 18 schools belonged to one/two districts where the number of total students was 1800. Even though many organizations are making efforts for better learning environment in government schools, I wonder how many lakhs of kids attending these schools in India are affected by this lethargic education system! Though, I am happy that I was involved in this small project, as even if out of 350-400 kids whom I interacted with, if few of them would grasp the drawing/model making skills and take it further; they will tend to explore and develop interest in various fields by themselves. It was a great learning to see how CEE operates the field work. It is not just about the better agriculture or education but it is about the sustainable way of living which CEE imbibes with all their activities.

Here, the senior(experience-wise) workersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; role become very important as a mentor who trains a team to live in all kind of extremes and perform their tasks with spiritual energy for the betterment of immediate environment. I saw self-discipline, habit of maintaining clean surroundings, growing his/her own food and giving their best while asking very less. So, these are the characters of a person loyal to his/her role in CEE. These individuals are self-driven to bring big changes in society by their small steps. Also, they have very strong bonds among themselves as a team.

It was a fulfilling experience overall, though very difficult as I had to maintain harmony among various groups and institutions. Here, my learning was that having good intention is one part and taking actions to execute them is another; to work with any institution one needs to be aware of both the parts and embrace it with willingness to achieve a common goal. During rough and difficult time the unity of ideas regarding intensions and actions are crucial which can hold the team together for the common good without creating more conflicts.

Temporary space 1

Temporary space 2

Temporary space 3

Temporary space 4

19.02.2018 Hello sir, Hope you are doing well. My parents have sent you their regards. It’s been a great time since I returned from Kolhapur. Overall, It feels like the beginning of another phase in the journey of fellowship. I have been pondering over many things which we discussed during those three days. I apologize for mailing you little late. You must be expecting me to finalize Vipassana dates and place. Three things really got stuck in my mind from our discussion, and here I have written down my recent thoughts... I hope you will like to read them. - Among the three first thing is, as you said: one can look at life as a whole; family, work, oneself it all forms the wholeness of life. I have been trying to understand how is it possible to get nearer to the ideal situation or balance that one can achieve among oneself, work, family and friends. After reading ‘Freedom from the known’, I started questioning a pre-conceived thought of ‘Ideal’ or ‘Balance’. Then, I started dealing with the situations and people the way it came, I tried to live in the present moment. I realised I became sort of self-centred while doing that. And since I have returned from Kolhapur, your talk about the wholeness has influenced this thought line differently. I will not go into the long-term plan(rather say the direction of my efforts ) I have set regarding myself, work, family and friends which is after fellowship period. - A second thing is about finding my vocation. As days pass, I am realizing I always wanted to do farming and I have put my little efforts here and there for planting. In everyday life, I do many things, at one point in time I will be more than three tasks/projects. ANd never focusing on one thing because there is nothing that is able to hold me for long... nothing is there which can grasp my whole focus and make me patient. But now I feel, farming is that thing where I can give my 100%. Whether or not I will at least spend half of the fellowship period to find out that. So, I will engage myself in farming from next month, I have decided on two regions where I am willing to do farming, I shall inform you that in the next mail. Apart from farming, I expect I will spend a good time with natural surroundings, making many sketches, maybe installations, cooking good and fresh food, learn to live a more sustainable and healthy life and of course learning climate, geography, flora and fauna of the place along with farming. So, whether farming is my cup of tea or not, I will explore details of slow-paced life and find some meaning of this exercise at the end. - A third is about finding out the things(values), one can’t live without. If I think about current times it is very necessary for me to have alone time(solitude) every day and also the freedom to be myself. I need to breath fresh air, stay away from polluted air. I need to live in a comfortable and pleasant atmosphere. And I need to be involved in some kind of production work through which I can make my existential feel worth in this world - my vocation. The work I am involved, I will take up according to these things which I wish from life. I hope it’s not a trouble for you to spend so much of time for reading and replying my emails! Our discussions are really helping me. I am learning to live in the part of the life which I really want to live, the rest of the things are just flowing by. I am learning to be patient. Currently, I am documenting my experience and observations of Khambhalaiay in writings, photographs and sketches. I shall compile the content of ‘Days in Khambhalaiaya’ and share with you and admin soon. I am willing to do vipassana in one of these two centres - Konkan region or in North India. Konkan one is closed for a temporary period. I shall find an appointment soon in one of the northern centres and inform you. I will be going to the north from march beginning. I will spend one month there, travelling a little bit, visit Dharmalaya, attend vipassana and then return to Ahmedabad. As we discussed, we will have a mid-sem review in March ending, then onwards I will spend three months on farming as I discussed earlier. Let me know your thoughts and opinion on this... With warm regards, Swati Khambhayata

Dreaming those unseen landscapes 27.02.2018

dear swati,

07.03.2018

i am glad to read your long mail, but i am sorry, i could not reply to you earlier … there were so many happenings, talks, encounters, travel and designing too. now also, i am leaving for pune for site visit and discussions and then to nagpur to speak at an international conference themed – “paradox to paradigms”. i too feel that you should not get caught up in conditioned notions of ‘achieving’ the ‘ideal’ & ‘balance’ etc. searching, exploring and experimenting is what may be needed at this stage … or rather throughout our lives. why did you feel ‘self centred’? what do you mean by that? what is the ‘long term plan ‘ that you have SET for yourself? have you done any kind of farming before to make you feel that you can give your 100 %? one can live with a very strong focus on a particular thing or idea or one could be doing a number of things simultaneously. both are okay. what is important is to be happy while doing either – to be completely in that present moment. achieving something, reaching somewhere and being successful need not be the objectives but would be the spontaneous, natural incidental happenings – not necessary to attach too much importance to them. do let me know what all has been happening with you on all fronts. what are your immediate plans? how did the 27th feb. presentation go? any learning from all that time spent with the school students and the parth group? i am sure you are not confusing a slow paced life with lethargy or laziness or less efficiency. actually, for me, it is just the opposite. when i am in the slow paced harmony at andur, my efficiency is the highest. would like to know more about your notions of ‘comfort’, ‘pleasant’, ‘pollution’ and ‘existential worth’ i am generally happy that you are enjoying this search during your fellowship. yes, we shall review it here around march end with all your documentation… i hope you will find out a new way of documenting / expressing your learnings during these past 3 months... as this whole journey is different. more later. best wishes as always. shirish

Inhabiting the slopes on the way to Rashol | Parvati Valley 09.03.2018

15.03.2018 Dear sir, It was great to read your mail. The questions you asked helped me to find answers for myself and I guess this is the right time, I am almost on the midway of the fellowship period. I understand what you mentioned about not being caught in ‘ideal’, balance’, and ‘achieving’.

So, for 7 days I am in Himachal Pradesh. The day of the event (27th Feb) was great, It was great to see all the work and students together under one roof. I shall present the days in khambhaliya in a mid-sem presentation in detail. In last days, I have been pondering over the ‘security’, ‘certainty’, ‘ideal’ as J.Krishmurty has talked. While spending this time in the Himalayan landscape, seeing mountain life and activities, it’s been the relieving experience about the ‘security’ one seeks while being part of the race. While facing the valley, hearing the sound of a flowing river, I remembered our talk on the natural context one lives in. By just coming to these mountains many thoughts, worries and confusions became silent. When I said I became self-centred, at that time I was thinking about how can I balance my own desires to do certain things and then family needs, so while being at home or in Rajkot while doing routine activities I used to get caught in the thoughts about the way I can balance everything. Or achieve ‘ideal’. That’s when I felt ‘self-centred’, not allowing the present moment, not going with the flow but caught up in my own thoughts, living in future, disconnected with a present. Thinking about the ‘ideal’ which can bring ‘balance’ according to ‘me’. My thoughts are yet evolving on this line… to not caught up in these conditioned notions. A long-term plan which I am thinking about currently is… I will explore a few more places, farming and hands-on activities, for the next half period. Decide a couple of activities (e.g. farming, making products) and a place from where I can work. I told you about two of my friends. Three of us will work together where we will have one common practice with that I will combine my interests (farming, hands-on activities, documentation/research projects) with our firm and they will do the same. So, three of us can get help as well as the freedom to explore individual interests. We might have our base at one or two places. With that, as things go smoother in few years I might endeavour something where my family can participate which will broaden their horizons and I can get time to ‘educate’ them and share more meaningful relations. Unfortunately, I have not spent enough time for farming yet, I am willing to spend as it gives me immense pleasure to see the seed growing in a sapling, becoming a plan, giving fruit and then that becomes my food ! what a joy it might be to see food ‘growing’. Apparently, I could not manage to spend enough time in one place so that I could engage myself with a farm. As you asked about the success, A good routine for me as I have figured out till now is,... I need to spend time doing Brain exercises/ gathering knowledge/ designing; physical activities like walking, cooking and cleaning for myself, making some product, hands-on work; and some free time to loiter, dream, entertain. While sustaining my expenses, practise, some family expenses; if I can live this routine while enjoying what I am doing that will be satisfactory to me and hence, success. Many things have been going on in and around me since last days, overall its been peaceful here in Himachal, it was a drastic change when I arrived here after spending a month in khambhaliya among industries.

Kheer ganga camp site | Parvati Valley 17.03.2018

In Himachal, I am spending my time again in writing, sketching and reading. I completed little prince and the prophet and have bought two new books - Small is Beautiful and Siddhartha. It is a very humbling experience to live among huge mountains and wonders of nature presented every moment. It was astonishing to stand under tall pine trees and walk among the conifer forests. One thing which is becoming clear now is to know how and where I am willing to spend the time. Important is the satisfaction which one can have at the end of the day. If I do not know what I want to achieve, an intention to live a good routine might shape the way of living. As I engage with some kind of productive work, I shall also come to know about the things without which I can’t live, setting up the priorities as you mentioned. Comfort for me is living in a healthy environment, healthy food which can fulfil my basic requirement to remain fit and active. Fresh, clean and ‘not crowded’ would be pleasant for me where one can experience peace as well as the energy. Pollutions can be of many types from which environmental pollution is worst which is disturbing and restricting. Living in harmony with the place you are in, is not only for ecological sustainability but also peace. By ‘de-cluttering’ waste, thoughts, objects; one can create space to see and respond to the surroundings. So, currently I am working on the compilation of my experiences of the last three months, I shall present it to you and admin by the end of my march. It’s been great to share my experiences and discussing with you about life. I am grateful for this time which I am spending right now to relook at life, explore new perspectives and contemplate the life, find inspirations which will last longer as it shapes the way of living further. With warm regards, swati

Parvati Valley 14.03.2018 45

19.03.2018 dear swati, it was good to have your updates – physical as well as mental. have you gone to himachal pradesh alone? which place in h.p.? how long would you be there? did you meet didi contractor? while talking about ‘security’,i would recommend an interesting book called “the wisdom of insecurity” by allan watts. there is also another book – “the joy of not working “ by ernie zelinski.

i was expecting a proper response/feedback from you on the two books i gave you here. these books are not just for reading, but for pondering upon. even today, i pick up “the prophet “ and read a few pages. ‘not getting caught up in the conditioned notions’ would be a major achievement in itself…. a great outcome of this fellowship. yes, and decluttering, simplifying is very essential for a truly rich life too. when will you go for vipassana? when do we meet next? there is no strict deadline of six months for this fellowship. it could be eight or nine months if you can stretch the fellowship money that much. the minimum time is six months. i am glad you are grasping the relevance and importance of this pause in your life. after your fellowship i would request you to share your experiences with others – especially the new fellowship awardee and guide him/her too. by the way, I did browse through your thesis and found it quite interesting. good, different sketches. we can talk about it when we meet. can we skype sometime? best wishes as always.

Parvati Valley 17.03.2018

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been long since I left... oh! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m arriving from far! A long long journey. All I am doing is be here. Become the things. The long tree, the flowing water, the dry brown apple tree. The tree is like a tall giant pole, stretching his hundreds of hands, to go high; tall, heavy, massive and yet effortless. Night sky in-between the trees Chhoj | Parvati Valley 10.03.2018

Wood and stone structures Quality of spaces int the wood and stone house Fire-wood storage spaces, providing insulation Village settelment and streets

A month in Himalayan foothills March 2018

March had been the most exciting and energetic time of the fellowship period and since beginning I longed those days to last forever. During these days I started questioning the joy and peace which that place provided as I did not want my inner peace to be disturbed when I leave the mountains. While pondering over this dilemma I have been observing the life of locals and I found it very simple. In Kalga village, I saw 6-7 men building a house with stone and wood. Out of curiosity, I went to talk to them and I found out that his house got burned due to fire and he was rebuilding his house. The owner of the house with other 2 labourers got the tree trunks from the forest which was just behind kalga village, he dug the stone from the same site where he was building and with the help of other three carpenters he built the two-story house in two months! And again I realised life is not that difficult. It is us, who have complicated the life by doing one job and by being dependant on our supporting systems for food and shelter. A person can do farming for the food and build his own house from materials found in surroundings to live stress-free life forever! In which case, doing a lot of labour one would remain healthy as well as independent. If it is just a matter of survival, anyone can survive this way because there are enough resources for everyone in the world, it is about solving a problem of how one is cultivating his resources. This problem is very small compared to the bigger problems a person faces in dense urban areas as an individual cannot easily solve bigger problems that arise with urban lifestyle.

Malana | Kullu Valley 24.03.2018

The valley : Malana 24.03.2018

The humongous space these mountains provide, I see this space and my eyes touch their surfaces. It’s insane. I see tiny weeds and bushes near my feet. Black birds hovering within the valley. Their wings reflect golden yellow sunlight, I inhabit the span, the depths, the 3-dimensional space among these rugged giant mountains. I inhabit this space when I see birds landing, lifting, gliding, flying…. I stand next to the pine tree; with the wide trunk, huge and long tree it is. Below my feet, in the valley, I see the same pine tree from the above. As my eyes follow the skin, the surface of rugged mountains, I see the abundance of pine trees; at my eye level, above it, on the mountain tops in the foothills, near the flowing water.

There, at the back, a sort of plateau kind of landscape, among the green mountains. At the back in the south-east rises the black mountains with their tops covered with white snow. My eyes move through the crevices of the mountains which are filled with snow as if the frozen flowing water. White, grey, thin layer and thick lumps of the clouds are passing through the snowy mountains. The shelters are sprawling, few groups of them are spread across the plateau in the front; in the south. The rugged mountains turn from brown to green to black to white… And sitting at one of the landings, my eyes travel through the valley… The curves, the width, the ups n downs, rise and the fall.

The Surroundings 29.03.2018

The quality of physical surroundings which denotes man the basic rights to see, hear, imagine, explore, burn, touch, smell, run, jump, sit, sleep, wander, fall, rise, fly... The ability of human physique to perform various exercises and the ability of senses to give birth to various feelings and emotions evolve. The natural phenomena experienced from such surroundings provide references for the moral of men. Men witness the nature of the things in its purer sense. Rather than other tensions (socialeconomical), man grows with tenderness and roughness of the surroundings. Such surroundings engage men in seeing, walking, exploring; allows men to interact with earth, sky and space in-between in different ways. Providing man zoomed in – zoomed out perspectives of the world and life. It provides depths to see outside, to look inside, to see beyond. When the man walks on the earth, on the slopes, curves; when the man sleeps under a sky, the sun sets and moon rises when the man smells the presence of water, the wind, the greens, the birds, the dogs and all rest of the elements of his surroundings. That’s when… No unlearning is required. There are no pre-conceived notions. The reflexes lead the human act. No time to fool around to achieve unrealistic goals. And there emerges the inner will to engage the intelligence, the imagination; encouraging the exploration and creation, pushing and pulling the curiosities of man. It is unlike urban surroundings where before the human body is enabled to stand on the ground, its head is already conditioned and given some degree of freedom. Certain physical and mental acts of the human body are muted before one is standing on his own feet. One sees the world with thousands of filters, 52

put in the front by circumstances. It takes a long for the man to really know the world-life. Unlike those surroundings, in urban surroundings, peace is not always there for man to know himself. And when one is lost, broke… there comes a time when the inner urge disturbs the physical and mental performances of man. One fails or pursues, loses or wins, sooner or later. One tends to question life-world, tends to relook at circumstances, and tends to go through major changes (forced/chosen) physically and mentally. He, at last, seeks satisfaction, peace, joy. In fortunate surroundings, one is fortunate to take shelter in nature or find a companion to provide a different perspective, to go near the reality, to relook at it, to rediscover it, to distort it or recreate it. Mental and physical abilities of man have made achievements in life-world by playing on the surroundings of the people they can influence in their presence. The urban surroundings are the manifestation of these influences, of the dreams and fantasies. But not all the men have the same dreams and fantasies. Poor man! His being is crouched before it could grow itself. With that the being of both – earth, sky and space in-between – all of them, they never come into their own being. All suffocating among their own conflicts. The fewer conflicts that you can perceive from the surroundings, there is more space to see, to attend the surroundings with the consciousness, to know their being, to appropriate and to express. What about the acts without awareness? The presence of agony, dependency, poverty, conflicts, irrelatively? One’s being is configured to fit into these urban surroundings and the surroundings grow bigger with their bigger conflicts. We social beings feed our emotions and hence we need to feed our appetite for it. It is the karma we play, unlike the wanderers, the rishis who just be.

A stay in Ahmedabad

A stay in Rajkot

A stay in Kalga To see : The surroundings

Profession / Vocation 12.04.2018

It is merely a way of earning bread(not being too optimistic and ambitious about the profession) and survives a way of living (To not make it a stressful job). It is an activity, an occupation of mind and body which cultivates one’s vision into reality. The engagement of one’s mind and/or physique with the world moulds the world. I, an intellectual being is a part of the process of moulding the world. For the seed to become a plant; soil, water and sunlight are sufficient. Similarly, all that man requires to survive and thrive is to be able to earn his bread and acquire shelter. One can learn to gather woods from the forests, build a shelter, make a fireplace, grow and cook his own food, sell some farm products or keep few sheep to acquire the basic necessity. Or one can serve people and choose to treat sick people, prepare medicines; to acquire his basic necessity. It is the matter of choice which concerns the way of living. Our experience of life comes from the immediate surroundings, time and memory... Being the conscious and intelligent being, man can perceive different reality from the same time and space, two men will have a different experience of worldly life from the same time and space. Yet, immediate surroundings, time and memory are the major directors which contribute to creating the experience of the moment. While staying in various setup, I have been observing the way I perceive the reality; the way immediate surroundings impact on the experience of the moment.

Thinking about the perception of reality, I pondered over the aspects of human life - social, cultural and economical. The urban surroundings seem to be dominated by time and memory. There is less space for people to engage with immediate surroundings without any preconceived notion. The elements of urban surroundings seem ( more of ) manifestation of memory. While reflecting over the conflicts in world-life, I tend to compare it with natural phenomena happening in the immediate surroundings and I see more of appropriation in the natural world that conflict. The nature of the thing in the natural world is abiding; it never changes and yet constantly dynamic. The natural elements co-exist by appropriating each other. Here, the word ‘conflict is perceived as an ‘appropriation’ and hence the coherence is manifested which denotes peace and joy and effortlessness. I am on a search to find this effortlessness in my way of living in order to appropriate myself and co-exist in life-world, make peace, thrive and let my nature drive my actions to cultivate the wisdom of living.

18.03.2018 | Kalga

Going to the Himalayan foothills and living in that landscape, I was absorbed by the scale, beauty and dynamism of the natural surroundings. There was peace, so much of silence that I could hear my own thoughts, observe myself and identify the layers which have been put in front of my eyes, remove them and experience the naked reality. 12.04.2018 | Paraty valley Ariel view Reference: Google Earth

Hello Sir !

27.05.2018

Hope you are doing well. I am back from Vipassana ! I am sure you would like to hear about my experience.... So, I reached the campus little late on day 0, everyone was already quiet and meditating. The campus was very beautiful, in a lush green area. A patch of forest on one side, farm on another side. All 10 days the only sounds were from the teacher and from the forest creatures. Very peaceful environment. First three days of meditation was really insiteful. I could see through, how a human mind keeps on running insanely. Of course, it was very difficult to focus o breath and not to think, but at least now I am aware of the mind processes. In discourse, on a fourth day, S N Goenka talked about the role of our sense and nirvana. I understood the teaching but could not digest it. I felt like a very young soul who wants to do many things, the the world. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t agree with the concept of Nirvana. Though, being aware of the senses, cravings and attachments; at conscious and subconscious level is something I would like to work upon. Given so much free time to mind, apart from meditating lot of thoughts kept on emerging which made me impatient to sit there. I lost my patience on 6th dag and talked to teacher regarding leaving the course and after taking to him, of course I decided to complete it. So, last 4 days became very tough. I spent my time observing nature around. It was easier for me to keep my mind balanced observing the nature outside rather than meditating inside a hall. I learned to not loose my balanced state and spend peaceful time with patience in last days. Learned to accept the reality as it was. Learned to observe present moment, the nothingness. Learned to tackle the hunger very normally. By 9 pm, before going to bed, my empty stomach used to make souds but I could sleep easily with that. Learned to appreciate food and became aware of all the sensual consumption which I used to do insanely on daily basis. Best part was last day when I interacted with co-meditators and know them. Though, silence was the easiest and best part of 10 days. It was an interesting bunch of people. I spent Saturday in Allepy with two beautiful souls whom I met there. With warm regards, Swati hi swati, i was just thinking of you and your vipassana, when i got your mail. looks like you had a mixed experience... but there also seems to be a lot of learning... ... most importantly, learning to face oneself in that silence and solitude. what next now ? warmly, shirish 58

Vipassana centre at Cheriyanad, Kerala 25.05.2018

At Makkikopa estate with Arunanchalamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family

At Eco-retreat with Kamalji

Savitaji: One of the two partners of the food forest

A food forest which was a naked coconut farm before 10 years Fig tree full of figs at te food forest

Coffee beans in the pre-mature stage

Makkikopa Coffee Estate

Hello sir,

19.06.2018

Hope you are doing well. I apologize for updating you so late. Here, I have noted down what I have been doing after attending Vipassana and further plans. I visited a food forest which was in the outskirts of Thanjavur after attending vipassana. Sivith (an architect in Coimbatore under whom I did my internship) connected me with a south indian family who owned this farm, I lived with this family in Trichy at their house. They are converting the traditional coconut farm into a food forest since last 10 years. Now, this forest produces many types of fruits, vegetables and spices organically. Also, they have a cold press and solar dryer to produce coconut oil. After that I went to a coffee estate in Makkikoppa, a village in Chikmangluru near sringeri. This farm was also suggested by Sivith. They were growing coffee with peppers and some other fruits and vegetables. Apart from the farm the purpose here was to meet the owner - Arunanchalam who is 95 years old. He was a very well read person and had seen the world, I got to hear his story of coming to India from SriLanka and his escape from the religious believes since the age of 12. I showed my booklet to both Sivith and Arunanchlam, to my surprise, both of them read the whole booklet ! They were really happy knowing what I am doing and motivated me in many ways during my stay with them. Further on I decided to meet Devashree and Mustafa to know what are their status to plan the next step, as Devashree has completed her thesis now. For some reasons Devashree couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t join so I met Mustafa in Gokarna. We stayed on a beach in a village near Gokarana and we did wall paintings in exchange of stay and food. Here, again meeting the owner was a really good experience. He was 60 years old; famous old time actor and businessmen.He had built the whole eco-retreat kinda place himself with many interventions. We decided to stay there and make that place more vibrant, owner gave us his car and also some money to buy materials from nearer town. But in 3-4 days it started raining heavily so we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do anything more than wall-paintings. There was a lot of brain storming about what to do next. The idea is to start work on my own to not compromise on a routine/life style I want(away from the urban life style). At the same time I need to fulfill my basic needs. The reason for this brain storming at his point of time is, I want to plan the next and last month of the fellowship such a way that it helps me in whatever I do after this period. I travelled more or less whole western coast to see if I can engage with this landscape and find an opportunity or people to work with. From chikmangluru I travelled through sringeri-udupi-kumta-kagla-gokrana-goa. I wanted to travel in the villages around goa but as its raining I realized there is nothing much I can do here, due to rains. But I really liked Goa. I visited Jerard De cacunaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s projects and also met him at his office, we chatted for a while and at the end he said - tell Shirish Beri, the fellowship is one of the good thing he has done. Now, I have given myself one month which will decide whether I will take up a job or manage to start my own practice. Taking a Job will give me some time to find the work and investment. But I will try my best to stand on my own feet and start something myself or with somebody.

During this travel, I encountered really interesting spaces. Pondering over all the places I stayed, I realised these particular space I could occupy and experience only because of the kind of built there were. Just to give you one example, when I was staying on beach near Gokarna at the eco-retreat, I used to sit on a tree house to read a book. Tree house didn’t have any walls but wooden railing, front of me there were a layer of trees, beach and endless sea. While reading I could feel winds and hear the sounds of the ocean all the time. All the places I visited had such characters and I was thinking over the experience these minimal intervention provides, the space which I occupied was always there but it became available to me only though these interventions. It made me see and observe natural phenomena around me. On this campus there were all sorts of insects and reptiles, It was scary at the beginning but I became used to it and stayed comfortably. All this place did was made me aware of world outside me and to live with it in harmony. It sharpened my senses and instinct. Being inspired by these places, I had this idea of finding one such site and with minimum built create a space which can provide a pause in the people’s life. The site can be at a place where people passes by. This can be done in Himachal. I am contacting few people and organisation I know over there and I am hoping I get the positive response from one of them soon. The issue here is I can not fund this and also I will need few helping hands. At the eco-retreat near Gokarana I planed to do an intervention as the owner was supportive and enthu, also Mustafa was there but it didn’t happen due to rains. If I don’t get any good signs in a week, here is the plan B.... I want to grow vegetables in Ahmedabad as a part of urban farming which I want to eventually engage with. Right now is the best time to grow vegetables and greens as it will start raining here in next 15 days. I reached Ahmedabad yesterday. First I want to grow eatables in a balcony/terrace and with that I may till a small land as well. I am trying to figure out what can be grown on terrace, with how much efforts and time. The required area and quantity. I want to make people aware of what they are consuming. It doesn’t just affect their health but also makes them aware about their surroundings and connects them with nature and earth. With that I am reading two books, ‘Prakriti’(which talks about vatta, pitta, kappa) and ‘Body the greatest Gadget’. If I take the farming option, understanding of diet and body will help a lot. Kindly, let me know your opinions on this and also if you have any suggestions for (I don’t want to say ending) this stage of the fellowship. With warm regards, swati

A clear night sky at Nirvana beach 05.06.2018

dear swati,

26.06.2018

yes, it has been a very long time since you wrote. i thought that after doing vipaasana , you had abandoned the fellowship ??!! can you please answer my following queries at the earliest ? while answering them, some of your thinking also may acquire better clarity. in what way are your learnings from 10 days at vipaasana guiding your decisions now ? did that silence open up new venues for you ? did you find some quiet time after these 10 days when you could assimilate your thoughts or no thoughts. could i see some of the sketches of these places with ‘character’ that you did on these tours after vipaasana ? did you find out and record as to what gave these places that particular character ? -

i would also like to see your design for the proposed intervention at the eco retreat .

while reading about your food forest, i remembered recommending you -“one straw revolution” by masanobu fukuaka. could you read it ? -

what was your learning from arunachalam’s life and in what way did he and sivith motivate you ?

you have told me last time that you would be most happy and comfortable if you are living in an unpolluted, peaceful environment amidst nature. now you are thinking of doing terrace gardening in ahmedabad…. on whose terraces ? many persons even in kolhapur grow good vegetables etc on terraces. so its nothing new. are you planning this at a large urban scale, that would make some environmental impact are you missing the city or your two friends? please get your priorities right… then, whoever wishes to join in could do so. some persons had shown interest when i started my nadhawade experiment in self sufficiency and an alternate life style. lots of hesitations, questions, feelings of insecurity from them came out. finally, nobody joined in and i continued on my own. please do not get bogged down by notions of financial security / insecurity…. can’t you take risks, live frugally but contentedly as well as harmoniously with the outside world ? … as we talked earlier, please do not confuse your good life with the number of goods you have. if you have really vibed and empathized with the himachal pradesh environment, go ahead and find some job - even working on a farm to start with (as growing food is also on your wish list) to take care of your survival needs. then, you could gradually start building places – very simple micro level interventions to begin with. you could even use the last instalment of the fellowship to fund part of this place making there…. feasible ? review your last 6 months’ journey and try and remember those places and activities/events that brought goose bumps on your body … where and when you felt truly happy. these will guide you in your future course of action. why will you compromise on them in your future life, which should hold so much joy, compassion, adventure as well as peace for you? this fellowship is just the beginning of this lifelong quest and with the rightful awareness, should it not become an inseparable feature/part of your daily life? - could not understand your atta, pitta and kappa.... best wishes for your near future… shirish 64

Water channel at Nirvana resort site developed by Kamalji(owner)

Hello sir,

27.06.2018

Thank you for your efforts to ask these questions... How can I and why would I abandon the fellowship !! - About Vipassana, I can not say exactly, but till now I have not felt any intense feeling of pain, I have become more quiet, I can observe my useless thoughts and let them go. Another change is, earlier whenever I was too tired mentally or physically, I used to go to sleep whereas now, I can lay down, concentrate on my breath and be relaxed. I do not spend any extra time for meditation. Right now, I want to get things going, start working. I feel, satisfaction from my work shall give me more joy and peace and slowly it should become like a meditative activity, I am not up for this idea of sitting and meditating for hours. It does not make sense to me. I am in favor of a way of life which itself can work like a meditation. Other thing is, many times my response to things used to be unaware, I did not used to process much knowing the likely or unlikely reasons. Now, when I am more open towards things, I tend to process things and then respond. - I have come home today at Rajkot, I will send you the sketches day after tomorrow, with that I will send you the conceptual sketches and design proposal as well, here I have attached the Conceptual note. - At the Eco retreat, I did not make proposal due to rains. But I thought to create a sitting place with minimalist approach on beach. Me and mustafa did a wall paint. - Yes, I will read the book by Fukuaka. - From Arunanchalmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life, on first day itself, I was inspired to read literature. Also, from Sivith this was the motivation. Both of them do not use internet much and yet they were well-informed about more or less everything I could ask. Arunanchalam explored many things in his life while also having a big family. He was one of the person who helped mother(Aurobindo sect) to start the centers at the initial stage. He had conflicts with others opinions but for him the relation and responsibility was more important, Hence he could always prioritize the family. I revisited Sivithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s practice (where I did my internship in 2015), as usual the office was woking on multiple projects. Though as earlier the office stregth remained intact. I observed Sivith dealing with variety of clients, to me that looked stressful. I had a leanning about the type of projects and hence the type of clients one ends up dealing with. And last thing, both of them are too humble and pure at heart. Sivith faces many problems being comparatively young professional but I have always seen, he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ever change his attitude. He suffers many times but always maintains faith and humor in life. - Regarding not living in urban area, I am still telling the same thing. I am willing to settle in more natural environment and I am capable to do it alone. I do not miss anything else, city or my friends when I am living among nature but I have realized it is not possible for me to do it alone, at this point of time. So, rather I save some money, become stable and then settle where I want to.

The idea behind urban farming and where it comes from in me, I have noted it down in the attached file. And will explain further in design proposal. - I understand and I agree on what you said about living contended life and to not be influenced by the notions around. I can take risks and happily live with whatever I have but I need finance to start anything on my own and to run it as well so that I can support my family. Earning a stable money(even though it is a small amount) is my first priority, because I know the kind of hardwork my parents are doing right now, its affecting their health, my brother who is very bright, I want to support him. Hence, I can not decide to live a life of my choice unless I know it will suffice my needs. So, I am trying to get going the kind of work I am willing to do which will eventually provide me a choice to move into natural environment. - What you said regarding going to Himachal, I am considering that option. I am thinking to send my proposal to an organization; they are a group of people, CEPT pass outs who are working in Himachal since last 5 years. Name of the organization is Farside Collective. - Sir, I will think about what gave me true happiness in these 6 months and how this introspection and reflection should become part of the life.... on this, I will write to you soon. - with the design proposal, I shall explain more about vatta, pitta and kapha. I will courier the booklet on Thursday, you shall receive it in this week. I shall soon write to you regarding the next deliverable. Kindly read the attached file. From the beginning I have been going around the idea of creating â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;pauseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. From last some days, I have been trying to understand what do I want to achieve or convey by creating pause ? So I begun this exercise of making very quick sketches(as I told earlier). and that lead me further to understand my intention for whatever I build.... Thanking you... With regards, Swati Khambhayata

Towards the completion... 12.08.2018

Throughout the fellowship period, while being involved in with various activities, I stayed at numerous places. Most of the times, I was engaged with the village, town or city in some or the other way. Every time the kind of place, people and landscape were different. In the span of the last one and half month I crossed many stories and experiences. Now, when I am at the stage of completing the fellowship, I was pondering over the nature of my inclinations and interest with which I engage with the surroundings and people. Being a traveller, throughout my journey I have realized that we as a human race have become ignorant about what we consume and inhabit. Apart from environmental issues, we have started living more introvert and selfish materialistic life. In Parvati valley at Kalga village, I passed by a site where six of the villagers were building a two-story house from wood and stone. It was astonishing to see how they collected the wood from the forest, dug the stone to construct walls. Natives here; they grow their food, milk their animals and build the house for shelter. Apart from fulfilling their needs, they are connected with the natural surroundings. They depend on nature around and hence nurture it. Most of us have forgotten this dependency and connection. Here, the built is an attempt to realize our relationship with nature while providing a first-hand experience.

A group of skilled locals building a house near Kalga village in Parvaty valley

hello swati,

30.06.2018

wow, that was a very quick response! did you feel that intense feeling of pain quite often before vipaasana ? i think, if it has made you “more quiet”, allowed you to “observe your useless thoughts and let them go” and “ concentrate on your breath and be more relaxed”, that is a great thing. hope this state of increased awareness continues. i have always felt that one cannot ‘do’ meditation, but one can definitely create the right environment / parameters for meditation to happen. and our entire life could become that... but that is the ultimate. would like to see the wall painting images. yes, what you say about sivith’s architectural practice is true. regarding any architectural practice, i too feel that ‘birds of a feather will always flock together’…. that means clients and architects with similar ideas , values in life will always work together. so all kinds of architects will get all kinds of clients…. not to worry…. no need to compromise or struggle too much. you say “rather save money, become stable and then settle where i want to”. this you could do in a natural place of your liking, now also. ask yourself what you mean by “stable” and “settle”. many a times, people who said this have stagnated into a routine, dull, monotonous rut. though many of us complain, we all are consciously or unconsciously leading a life of our choice. all through,there always were alternative choices available; we chose that which we prioritized most and valued most…. maybe your family in your case. oh! you meant vaata, pitta and kapha – the three doshas in ayurveda…. i had based my design of an ayurveda college and hospital on the concept of these 3 doshas, the 3 gunas and the panch mahabhutas. a pause could also be that place to relax, to reflect, to surrender, to introspect , erase as well as assimilate. there was no attachment with your mail of urban farming or sketches that you mentioned. i am taking these efforts as you are my first fellowship student and i really wish to find out whether it is making any positive difference in your life. i tend to feel a tremendous sense of responsibility. best wishes as always, shirish

Dreaming those unseen landscapes 27.02.2018 30.06.2018

Dear Sir, I understand what you said about being “stable” or “settle”. when I used these words I only meant it in terms of finances, nothing more. Anyways, I am yet working on the design proposal. I talked to the person whom I know at Kheergagna(proposed site) and I got to know that Govt has banned all camps and restaurants in this area. Govt is planning to take over this area and develop organized tourism to retain the natural beauty of the site and to prevent tourists from littering it. So, currently, I am thinking about the options to work in Himachal and fund the proposed design. I am also making efforts to find a way to propose this directly to the tourism department of Himachal. Yesterday, I found an advertisement by NIT, Hamirpur. There is a guest faculty requirement. I am thinking to apply for it, only thing is I have to go there in five days. One of the CEPT pass-out with a Post-grad degree is teaching there. I shall decide about applying there, after talking to him tomorrow. What you said about the positive difference, I am sure after a year(when I can zoom-out and look back) I will be clearly able to show you the change which came through the fellowship. At this stage, it is more of brain-storming and less of doing hands-on work which sometimes becomes stress. But I hope, to slowly achieve the state of meditation in my way of living, as I can balance mental and physical engagement with my work. With warm regards, Swati 71

hi !

5.07.2018

the design intention is good to create a pause in oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life. please check on the location if it is appropriate... in this remote area. why not frame the beautiful views of nature from inside to catalyse this pause/ introspection? why not frame the view of inside vegetation focus from outside too, to catalyse this pause/ introspection? a lot can be done with the floor and roof too to create the right kind of spaces. look forward.... cannot explain everything through mail. best.

Yes, sir,

7.07.2018

I get your point... I discussed the idea with some and I was asked many questions... Before I get into designing... I should check whether it works practically, creating the space from the wooden crates which have plants. I have dropped the plan of applying for NIT. I will spend this month in Ahmedabad, complete the final representation of the fellowship and prepare a portfolio and apply for a job in Himachal in August-September. With this, I have started working on creating space using wooden crates with plants on a terrace. This experiment is to see the growth of the plants in containers and the final farm produce. Front of Mustafaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s apartment, there is a terrace with a metal grid, with the possibility of putting roof if required. The owner just shifted to their other house. I am going to use this terrace for the experiment. I am willing to do some canvas paintings and also finding a way to document all the stories I encountered during the last travels. If the terrace farm comes out well, I am willing to put up an exhibition. A living space will have paintings displayed, the stories and hopefully, some food made out of terrace farm produce. This experiment will equip me further for the Kheerganga Project. I will have to research further to make it possible there, in an extreme climate. Research and funding I shall be able to work out in a span of a year or half, I will do a job until I figure out that. Let me know your opinion on this. With regards, Swati

Process: Exercise One: Sketching the spaces from the memory of recent travels. One constant element in the lived - experience of all the sketched spaces: All the spaces connected me with my inner-self. It was the infinite natural world which revealed my affluent position as a human in the lap of mother nature. These places were a mixture of serenity with surprise and I could perceive it as I was completely free from any fear or greed. I did achieve a thoughtless state for a few minutes in these spaces. At first, these spaces would surprise me and then with its serenity it disconnected me with everything else and presented other perspectives to look at life inside/outside. These spaces were silent which allowed contemplating things around and exploring various perspectives of the lifeworld. This contemplation created a pause. Idea of the built: From my observations and leanings, I am willing to create this pause in the form of an intervention where one can contemplate the surroundings and become more aware and conscious about the everyday lifechoices, as being city-dwellers we are not left with many serene spaces around us. Site: Kheerganga Meadow in Parvaty Valley Himachal Pradesh, Altitude: 3978m I visited Kheerganga in March 2018. It is a large lush green meadow, accessed through 4-5 hours trekking from Barshaini. There are a hot-spring and a Gurudwara shrine located at the top of the meadow. Being a camping site, there are around two hundred tents for travellers to stay. Permanent structures cannot be built here as per the government policy.

Existing plinth of 10m X 6m

The only way to reach the site is through trekking. Existing cafeterias and stores bring their goods through mules. Eatables like frozen packs and tetra packets are preferred which can be stored for the longer duration. Intention of the Intervention: The intention is to employ the observations from above-presented spaces to create a place and through that make the user aware of what he/she consumes/inhabits. Being a remote site, all eatables reach the camping site with a huge amount of plastic used in packaging. This plastic is being dumped at the same site. During clear weather, a couple of hundred people visit Kheerganga every day. Serving food to these tourists, locals produce a huge amount of non-biodegradable trash. Here, the intention is to create a place from eatable vegetation and locally available materials like wood and stone. The walls will be created from wooden crates which will be used to grow greens and vegetables. Hence, the place will have a living structure and the green produce will be used to prepare food items serving to the tourists. 75

generally looks alright except for these points,,,

8.07.2018

* where is this place ? is it in a good public space ? is it easily accessible to any passer by for a pause ... separate access ? on which floor is this terrace ? or will the entry to this exhibition be through invitation only ? * further, it would take the plants one or two or three months to start yielding eatable vegetables etc. consider this time period for the functioning of this installation to start. * what have you thought for the roof cover ? ... to afford protection from sun and rain? it will be a good experience to sit their, sip some juice, eat somethings, see your sketches, paintings and read your stories . these stories need to be short and well written ... which open up some corner in everybodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind / heart. try writing them in the form of poems too. they may have a better impact. i may be coming to ahmedabad around end august or beginning of september. hope to see you then. all the best.

Hello sir,

9.07.2018

Here, I have noted down few things on your points... - I am willing to create the space using plants. In Ahmedabad terrace sounds an appropriate site. Generally, people have empty terraces which can be used to develop as a sitting area. The plantation will also provide shed which will decrease heat to a certain degree in summer. Compared to the ground, a terrace is a more windy and pleasant place. I haven’t finalized the terrace yet. Here, one concern is, in this limited time and resources, the final farm produce will be limited too. In the exhibition, I want to use the farm produce and serve it in some form. So, I will keep an exhibition through invitation only. Here, the visitor shall experience the freedom that comes through self-reliance, the joy of doing everyday activities physically and know ‘turn-over’ of investing her/himself. The plants, stories, paintings, and eatables will be arranged to create a space where a visitor can have an embodied experience of what I want to convey. The effort is to create that pace where one can engage with the place, which will open up a visitor’s mind/heart as you said. Terrace in Mustafa’s Apartment is on a third floor, there is no lift, so I am searching for an appropriate terrace. - I will calculate all requirements and specifications for growing and harvesting vegetables and greens, according to scheduled installation. - I will use a basic bamboo grid ( 4 columns and 4 tie members ) to support a translucent corrugated sheet. Bamboo is convenient and cheaper, I am yet to find out about the corrugated sheet. First, I will put together all the content ( stories, paintings, eatables etc) and find the best way to present it with ‘living space’ to clearly convey my idea/concept and intention to create an impactful environment. It will really amazing if you visit this! Its great to hear you are coming, August end or beginning of September is an ideal time for this installation too. I will write to you soon, once I finalize the terrace and start sowing seeds!is this terrace? With regards, Swati

Yes sir,

10.07.2018

I will work out on your suggestions regarding location and design , I shall make a schedule for coming one month and decide about visitors. I will try if I can find an appropriate location and sponsor. I will document the process and keep you updated though mails. I am excited to get this going and present an outcome. Wish you happy travels ! with warm regards, swati 78

Beginning of the terrace farm Mid-July

While thinking about the conclusive representation of the fellowship journey, I wished to device a presentation which would also become the beginning of the next journey as a professional. Hence, I decided to create an urban terrace farm in the city, an activity of farming which inspires me every day to pour my energy and time unconditionally. The intention behind creating an urban terrace farm: - Create a ‘living’ space and use an empty terrace which provides the shaded area (on flat roofs exposed to hot sun) along with farm produce. - It will provide fresh and organic farm produce as well as cool down the micro-temperature of the surrounding. - In an urban living, an activity of farming will provide a pace in the everyday life of people, connecting them with soil, water, plants; eventually nature. Design note for Installation: While creating a terrace farm the effort is to let the visitor experience the freedom that comes through selfreliance, the joy of doing everyday activities physically and know the value of investing her/himself in an essential activity of growing own food as a part of survival in the natural cycle of our planet. I hope to aware people about what they eat and breath with this small step. Execution of Installation: The ‘living’ space was created using a wooden container which will have greens/vegetable planted inside it. The wooden crate has a jute bag inside filled with the soil mixture. Soil mixture has 50 % soil, 50 % coco peat + manure + cow dung + few earthworms. The wooden crates are stacked vertically to define the sense of place. These vertical surface made of wooden crates can be used to create required spaces. Later, the bamboo pavilion was erected for the tendrils to climb and to protect the plants from sun and heavy rain if required.

Terrace farm in the process...

At first, the seeds were sown in the seed tray. Seeds required very little water and soft sunlight. Hence, from the first day, the terrace was visited at least twice a day, at morning and evening. To understand the how-tos of the farming each and every task was self-done with the help of a few friends. Secondly, the soil mixture was prepared by mixing cocopeat, cow dung, manure and earthworms. Burnt wood coal was added at the bottom of the pot for the extra water to drain. Along with that, a bamboo grid was erected on a terrace to provide shed and support for the tendrils.

The wooden crate filled with aggregates were used as a foundation for the bamboo structure. Each and every element of the terrace farm was made with the possibility of dismantling. The bamboo structure was ready in three days. The saplings were planted in wooden containers within one-two weeks. Each material chosen for the farming was reusable and as low-cost as possible to ensure the affordability for the wide-spread of the idea. The discussion was held at the terrace farm to know the critiques from the faculties on the journey of fellowship. USe of the space created by the owner of the terrace which is a part of the institute space.

Hello sir,

19.11.2018

Here I am sending the soft copy of the booklet. Kindly have a look at it. I showed this to a friend and I was suggested to write on ‘Where am I’ at this point in time. Sort of conclusion of my mental state and hence, the engagements with surroundings. I am gathering my thoughts t write it down and hence, I haven’t sent the hard copy yet. Regards, Swati

hi swati,

20.11.2018

i went through your booklet early this morning. though it generally reads well, it did not convey anything much more than your mid fellowship report... ..as if nothing much really happened in your thinking and actions after that or you were too lazy/ reluctant to put it across. your earlier report was more insightful than the later part of this booklet. what happened ? “ hava nikali gayee ?” the transition between the first phase and the second phase with the genesis of the pause idea falls flat. the writings, sketches and the images do not seem to justify what you wrote on page 70 about “spaces connecting with the inner self as well as the intention of the built / the pause.” was it realized ? as your friend suggested, it would be good to write on ‘Where am I’ at this point in time. the present last page appears like an abrupt termination. besides this major issue, the typical linear content page appears redundant here. or the graphics of the contents could be more interactive with each other and maybe a bit chaotic. be careful to avoid conditioned words ... such as “ to define the meaning of life “ it would be better to rephrase it as “ to understand the meaning of life” instead of “ what my nature confirms to”, instead, “ what my nature aligns to “ maybe better. there are some other words and phrases that do not convey your exact intent,,, recheck them would you like to correct some spelling errors in my and your correspondence ? i am sure you are capable of delivering a much more sensitive and “impactful” presentation of these special months of your life. best wishes as always.

Hello sir,

25.11.2018

Thank you for the corrections. Yes I will make changes that you’ve noted. I agree with what you said. Since last couple of months, its been quite tough. I have been doing things halfheartedly. One of the reason I delayed this work. To find a right pace. After completing fellowship, it became necessary to start work. I joined vyom’s studio after being confused for long. I joined studio for four days a week. Work over there is exciting. But I am not doing well in almost everything. Still settling with my decision to stay in Ahmedabad for a year. Yet, now I seem to have found enough motivations. The project that I am doing with vyom is a prefab housing project, it seems it is going to realize soon. Hopefully, I am going to spend good time on farming in coming days. I am finding place to stay in Ahmedabad as I am here for a year. Many things changed since last few months. In so many years, I never thought to stay in Ahmedabad after graduation, never thought I will make this my place of work, never made any relations apart from friends. Now, I am moving into next phase. I am trying to involve in a city as I did when I first arrived here. I am trying to gather that energy again. All this struggle sounds a result of my dreamy ideas of going to Himachal. Why I call it dreamy because now when I look back, it was more of fascination than a thoughtful decision. I am still very much convinced of living a life away from city but along with that I need invest my time in productive work. Farming is an ideal thing to do in Himachal but that can’t be the only productive work. I need to establish some connections here in Ahmedabad, so I can get to do varieties of work. Also, there can be exciting outcomes if I can take urban farming further. Everyday, during an auto ride to studio I observe many plants and trees on the way and I imagine how beautiful it would be to see more green patches along the street which is also edible. As I told you, vyom has offered t fund my experiments. Also, the housing project we are doing, we have given 20% area for farming in each house. It is bit difficult too but, when I see plants here, I see them sucking polluted air and I tend to compare it with northern evergreen trees who stand on mountains in clean and crisp air. But one good thing I have realized is, my engagement with my work is most important as I tent to forget everything when I am involved in design, drawing and any kind of making. I value my these three skills and I will to nurture them further. With that sooner or later, I have faith, I can reach to northern mountains too. I apologize for disappointing you again. I hope you understand the process I am going through. I shall try my best in improvising the booklet. Thank you for tour patience. With warm regards, Swati Khambhayata 84

A forest of Champa sheltering a varried range of activity located at busy Dudheshwar cross roads, Ahmedabad

dear swati,

1.12.2018

you are my first fellow of my very unique, crazy fellowship. in a way, it is an experiment of some of my understandings in life. maybe, it will not have immediate results/ benefits/results. the thoughts, ideas generated during this fellowship may take time to incubate. still, i would like to ask you something for which i need very honest response from you. that will help me in framing the structure of this fellowship in future. has the fellowship helped you to gain a better understanding of life and yourself or has it confused you further ? why do you say that you are still living half halfheartedly ? and not doing well in almost everything ? i feel confused and intrigued with your mail. involving with the city is quite abstract. there is nothing wrong in working in an urban context. what you do there and how you do it is important. this fellowship was meant to make you truly know and implement your dreams and fascinations through thoughtful decisions. one only needs the conviction and the courage to do so. he two are not contradictory. i feel surprised at what you write about this. engagement with work is necessary... more important is to decide on the right kind of work. waiting for your fellowship deliverable that truly speaks your heart and that which will help others in doing so. best, shirish - sir

Dear sir,

11.12.2018

I have taken quite long to reply to your mail, I have been looking for some answers; and you asked one of the same question whether the fellowship has created further confusion. Earlier I wished to travel around, engage myself in various activities to know what would my routine be like if I change my context. I let the spontaneous decisions decide my direction. When I was questioning everything, I wanted to find out what I actually liked to do and to be; I took decisions which were more based on my feelings rather than thoughtful actions. Most of the things I did during fellowship period were driven by curiosity, desire to explore and an urge for wellbeing of myself and my surroundings. That was a freedom, though for a limited time and now when I look back, I feel, it helped me as it was limited to certain months. I tried to do my best in terms of using this opportunity to explore, see and do things I wanted to because I knew I have limited time. I never had to think about any consequences. Now, when all my academics is over, there is endless freedom; but this time the freedom has certain restrictions. Everything I planned during fellowship, it manifested without any difficulties as it was backed up by you ! Hence, my energy could flow effortlessly. Further, I expected to do things with the help of my friends (plan of Himachal) which couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happen. I became almost directionless for a while. I have been spending my routine at beautiful places surrounded by beautiful people. The meaning of spending each day in life changed for me and then I was back again in a city. It sucked to see traffic lights, people sleeping on roadside and myself breathing polluted air. All I could see was chaos. Yet I had to fit myself in this surroundings so I took up urban farming which I thought can change the scenario at some extent and motivate me to engage with the city. The experiment I did, it was helpful yet during that time I realized it requires much more time, resources and efforts. If I invest myself, definitely it will be a long way before I get any reward. I had to think about the consequences as I have some responsibilities which I want to fulfill. Among all these thoughts I got lost, I found it useless to spend time in finding what I like when there is no room explore it further. It would have been better if I had put more efforts in finding a way to do the farming experiment in Himachal. Terrace farm which was a dream became burden as it failed. To answer your question, the fellowship period has definitely helped me as I could convince myself about my interest in farming and I could also do certain things around it. But I lacked in something to take it further as a career which brought up a confusion.

Yet, I think I now understand the slow path of farming. I am yet figuring out my priorities for coming year. But more or less, for a year or two, I intend to invest myself for the work where I can get good amount of money so that I can pay all debts, be free; and some freedom in terms of time so I can nurture my passion for farming. Another thing I realized during this last two months is, my happiness (which depends on place and people) and satisfaction with what I am doing is the foremost thing for me to live a day full of energy. As I told you, Vyom has offered me to fund my farming experiments; I am trying to figure out a deal if I can escape from the city for a while and still continue the fruitful association with Ahmadabad. I shall send you the booklet soon, thank you for your support, sir.

With warm regards, Swati

Expression March The past twenty-two months, since I was awarded the fellowship, my thought processes have been observed, documented, expressed and discussed through various mediums. Since the beginning of the fellowship, the effort has been to hear the calling of my heart and endure the journey on a path consciously chosen. Since then I began to observe and learn to be true to my inner self and reflect it in my everyday life. My understanding about the wholeness of life which has been developed in this duration while engaging in periodic discussions with Beri sir has enabled me to make conscious decisions and anticipate the consequences of every small step into a larger picture of life. In this journey, The expression has been the key. Just after submitting the graduation thesis, instead of bearing any kind of pressure or going through a whole phase of a dilemma; I was given freedom of time, place and fund. This opportunity infatuated me to go wild and spontaneous. I lived nine months of this journey on the move, travelling from northern to southern parts of India, involved in various kind of activities; few pre-planned and few as it came on the way. Among all this hustle-bustle while experiencing every day as a new day, I was learning about new aspects of world-life. The context of my dreams and desires which has been limited to certain physical and mental boundaries was widening day by day. I felt euphoria every day. I was mesmerized all the time with what each day presented to me. The habit of documenting and expressing these experiences during my travels allowed me to process all the new information and energy more rationally. After nine months of travels and exploration, slowly I started settling upon an idea of making a farming part of my everyday activity. During my travels, I had visited a few organic farms and had met brilliant modern farmers like Savitri Aunty in Tanjor and Arunachalam in chickmangluru; who has been a great source of information. After seeing various farming practices and the life which can sprout around it made me restless at one point and I began to set up the terrace farm in Ahmedabad. It was August 2018 and I had become busy in arranging all raw materials, tools and setting up the shed etc. I was working hard during these days to find an appropriate terrace, arrange funds and gather more knowledge required to grow vegetable crops. During this process, I experienced the pace of growth and hence the progress of the farm. I had realised about the slow nature of organic farming processes and now I was experiencing it in my own surroundings. In an urban context where everything was moving at a fast pace, this activity of farming kept me calm, composed and energized throughout the process. This was the time when I was inclined and energized to do more and talk less. I had almost stopped expressing, discussing and sharing since I was underwhelmed by talks, I wanted to indulge in doing. Here, I got off the track for a while now, I can sayâ&#x20AC;Ś when I stopped expressing through most mediums.

Here are the images of some of the things and places which poured colours in my everyday life.

Wondering in thoughts

Nine months of my learning period was culminated by the presentation of a terrace farm which I had set up with the help of my mentors, friends and colleagues. The farm presentation didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t justify in conveying the learnings from the fellowship journey. I was still adjusting with my decision to stay in Ahmedabad. I have spent eight years in this city, though I crib about it a lot silently. I felt tired of all the olds. Yet I was going through a fundamental conflict with myself. Generally, I like to cling to things, places and people. I like long relationships with everything. I had to find a root to my personal conflict with the place I live in. I have had this conversation with Beri sir many times about work, people, relations, family - eventually, everything is a part of the one larger picture. Also, now when I had experienced the weight of various parts and the wholeness that it creates; it has become difficult to overlook. Each tiny conflict eventually forms a resisting force within me. Through my journey I had realized something quite valuable that the only driving source of my life which is myself since I had taken the handle of life in my own hands, leaving no room to depend and complain. As Beri sir always suggested to do so, I was learning to know my priorities and shape the life around it. During this time I started knowing the richness of my world which I could afford without any efforts. I breathed crisp air, drank fresh water, consumed food which had life, explored untouched landscapes, places and met many wise and sweetest humans on earth. I felt proud of myself since I had earned it all on my own. Thought, I went through most difficult times of my life; learning to know about my resistances, conflicts, priorities. The imbalance between the frequency of thought processes and its outcome in the form of expression or creation led me to a world of hopelessness. I could not process the way society running around me. Working hard was something people take proud of. There are talks and discussions everywhere about certain great ideas but no one can see a larger picture and hence no learning reaches the everyday life practises but remains just an intellectual fuss. Yet the beauty which I have had experienced in those glory days, the love which I could expresse effortlessly and the love which I received, Often provided me with shelter and kept on sowing the seeds of belief in my heart. There have been various little things, places and people in my surroundings, part of my everyday life which kept me connected with the love and beauty of life. The immense amount of joy and a state of mind like still water of the pondsâ&#x20AC;Ś. Which I experienced among sacred landscapes and wise people had enabled me to see the richness of frugal life lived in the lap of nature As if I was beginning a new life leaving behind all the worthless concerns, fears, comparisons conflicts and greed; the hopelessness was just another dark night before rising of a bright sunny day.

I passed through the hardship of money making business, a turmoil of duty and character playing, cluttered thoughts and relations and my lack of expression made it all worse. I had been hungry and greedy for many answers since I was supposed to end my search! The final period of the fellowship. When I lived a cluttered life for a while, it was my routine which kept me going where I was inspired by my interests where I can find beauty in this brutal world. My routine started with cleaning myself with water, drinking fresh fluids, cleaning and arranging workspace, taking care of the plants; cook meals and eat, spend productive time for work, have meaningful interactions with other humans around me and share sympathy with people and place in order to feel connected. As I later realised, the weight of expression... I wonder how vague has been those unwritten days which almost flew away with the winds like dust particles though I feel those days on my heart with the weight of unsaid words and undone things. I wonder about the power that Expression has! Once written or said or captured in any form, that thought becomes real! Similarly, I gauged the potential of inner wishes and how it unfolds itself once it is expressed. One day evening, while missing a ‘feeling of home’ I sketched a plan of my living room. I changed the furniture layout, added few seats, activity zones and people and to my wonder, my house became the same home. Yet one has to stay awake all the time while directing one’s energy to not become greedy but feel at ease at the end of the day and sleep well to die every day. I am not hungry to find all the answers now though I am curious and eager to follow the path chosen by my heart and learn about the secrets of world-life.

An attempt to create an oasis of inspiration while living within the four walls of an Urban Dwelling.

Cooking the beautiful shapes and colours with love for the conscious consumption

Escaping into nature and gaining ability to explore the surroundings

Making a dish inspired by home-grown herbs

While I had been experiencing life as big chaos.... these little things realise the value of simple things. Since they occur out of curiosity, oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s profession, productivity etc. After all the wanderings and goin things have been only things for a while which kept me inspired to b

Finding the never-seen fruits in urban surroundings

Teach a skill and open up new perspectives to the young

Indulge into making

s have been source of life. When I put together them here, I love and inner urges to engage, it has very little to do with ng through a complex process of self-search, these little begin my day.

Witness the company of this little daily visitor

Hello sir,

6.03.2018

I must say, the visit to kolhapur has been quite fruiteful for me. Apparently, in this visit I had very little to say but I believe you had an idea about what all has been going inside my head. Its been almost a week and I have been indulged in many things. The moments I spent at Andur among nature and the silence that I experienced is still echoing in my body and mind. Something that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mention while we met... So, In January I had left two works which I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t enjoying. In the same month, studio work with Vyom was very low. This affected my money flow and few other tasks had been pending which I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do as I had been in sort of weird direction less phase with lot of free time. After coming back, I took up two other works which will help to continue my money flow, and apart from that I spent the free time in setting up the place where I am staying right now. This small task of putting few plants, lights and seating for my place has given me an anchore point and have added few routine activities i.e. watering the plants. My daily cycle has been quite active and meaningful since last few days. At this point, jumping directly into urban farming and relying on it for the bread butter is difficult to handle for me. Hence, I have decided to do urban farming along with other works. For which I am beginning with designing and developing small landscape spaces for interior and outdoor spaces. I am working on the branding part and also starting to make a portfolio for the same. Slowly with time, I will start working with edible plants ( urban farming ) as well. I can more or less see, where I will be taking the farming in coming year and I am excited for it. I have found a place for my experiments and also two fellows to work with. I will be happy to share my progress with you. As of now, my time commitment for coming two months are set. Today, I am beginning to work on the booklet which shall be ready to send you within a week. Till then, yours sincerely, swati

6.03.2018

hi swati, good to read your mail and to know that you are finding and following yourself, which is making your life more active and meaningful. look forward to your fellowship booklet. best, shirish â&#x20AC;&#x201C; sir

21.02.2018 | Cactus Khambhaliya region

Notes from

“Freedom from the known” by J.Krishnamurti

The great question which humanity is asking for, seeking for, looking for since the years – What is it all about? Has life any meaning? Man sees the enormous confusion of life, the brutalities, the revolts, wars, the endless divisions of religion, ideology and nationality and with a sense of deep abiding frustration; he asks, what is one to do, what is this thing we call living, is there anything beyond it? We are fed the answer for this question by many of our great saints, books, teachers and other authorities. We are second-hand people. We are the result of all kinds of influences and hence, there is nothing new in us. Nothing original, we have discovered nothing new for us. In order to find a meaning what man has done throughout the ages is to live in isolation, going off into the desert or mountain, wandering in a village with a bowl, join a monastery and forcing the mind to conform to an established pattern. But a tortured and broken mind, a mind which wants to escape from all turmoil, which has denied the outer world and been made dull through discipline and conformity – such a mind, however long it seeks, will find only according to its own distortion. So to discover something beyond this life-world, it seems we must have a different approach. Not a traditional approach dominated by one or the other authority but to look inward, observe your own nature and explode from the centre. Now, when you deny traditional approach, because you understand the stupidity and immaturity of it, if you reject it with tremendous intelligence, because you are free and not frightened, you will create a great disturbance in yourself and around you but you will step out of the trap of respectability. Then you will find that you are no longer seeking. That is the first thing to learn – Not to seek. When you seek you are really only window-shopping. What is important is not a philosophy of life but to observe what is actually taking place in our daily lives, inwardly and outwardly. When you reject all authority, you are no longer afraid; you have more energy, more capacity, more drive, greater intensity and vitality. If you do not feel this, then you have not thrown off a burden, you have not discarded the dead weight of authority. But when you have thrown it off and have this energy in which there is no fear at all – no fear of making a mistake, no fear of doing right or wrong – then is not that energy itself the psychological mutation ? This energy produces the radical inward revolution. You do not have to do a thing about it. When there is freedom, there is energy; and when there is freedom it can never do anything wrong. You are free and from that center you act. A mind that has no fear is capable of great love. And when there is love it can do what it will. Here is a great difficulty of rejecting our own inward authority, authority of our own experiences, opinions, knowledge and ideas. You had an experience yesterday and that taught you something and what it taught you becomes a new authority which is as destructive as other authorities. To understand ourselves need no authority because we are living things, always moving, flowing, and never resting. When we look at ourselves with the dead authority of yesterday we will fail to understand the living movement and the beauty and quality of that movement. To be free of all authority is to die to everything of yesterday, so that your mind is always fresh, young, innocent, full of vigour and passion. It is only in that state that one learns and observes. It rained last night heavily, and now the skies are beginning to clear; it is a new fresh day. Let us meet that fresh day as if it were the only day. Let us start on our journey together with all remembrance of yesterday left behind – and begin to understand ourselves for the first time. 99

Journey of R.S.Beri Fellowship, 2018 swatikhambhayata@gmail.com CEPT University, Ahmedabad