8 minute read
Helping an Elderly Man Visit His Wife During Christmas
By Aimée O’Grady | Photography by PATH Foundation Community Report
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Cindy with Truman
ON THE DRIVE HOME the first time Cindy Burbank took Truman Moore to visit his wife Mabel in the nursing home, she noticed that he was wiping away a tear and Cindy knew then that she had found the right organization to devote her volunteer time.
Cindy Burbank took her time finding her place in her new community when she moved to Fauquier County in 2011 after her retirement. She had spent 35 years working in the Federal government, commuting in and out of Washington, D.C. Relocating to rural Fauquier County required some adjustment.
To become better acquainted with the community, she began to look for volunteer opportunities. “I wanted to find something that was directly helping someone,” she said.
One of the organizations that caught her eye was VolTran, one of the Trusted Community Partners offering transportation services to individuals needing rides. As a volunteer, she began each day reviewing an email from FAMS, Foothills Area Mobility System, that funnels calls to organizations like VolTran, listing people needing rides. “The rides request could be for the next day, or as far out as 45 days,” said Burbank. “The email included necessary information for the driver, but also a few details on the person requesting the ride and their need,” she added.
One morning in late summer 2019, as she read the requests, one stood out to her. It was a request from a man asking to visit his wife in a nursing home. It pulled on her heartstrings. “He lived in Markham, and she was in Gainesville; I knew that I would be signing up for a longterm commitment if I offered a ride to this gentleman,” said Cindy, who later called Truman to arrange transportation.
Truman was born in Fauquier County in 1942. At nearly 80 years old, he and his wife of thirty years, Mabel, were living in a small log cabin on a farm where he had worked for many years. Having retired, the farm owner permitted Truman and Mabel to remain there for the rest of their lives.
Cindy began to drive Truman to see Mabel. “They were so happy when they saw each other, and I began to bring him to the nursing home to visit with her once a week. I would drop him off in the morning and return later in the afternoon to bring him home,” said Cindy. “The couple was completely devoted to each other,” she added.
As summer moved into fall and the holidays began to approach, Cindy began to worry about Truman. “I knew that spending Christmas together was very important for Truman and Mabel, but my own two sons, who live out of state, were planning to visit and I wanted to visit with my family as well,” said Cindy, who grew concerned.
She turned back to VolTran to find a volunteer who could help. Gary Pinson responded to her request. “He offered to take Truman in the morning, and I was going to bring him back home. It was a relief to know that they would be able to be together on Christmas,” she expressed.
With Christmas Day settled, Cindy began to help the couple with gifts for each other. “Mabel pulled me aside during one visit and asked for my help in getting Truman gifts from her, which I was able to do. For Mabel’s gifts, I took Truman to Walmart to pick out some things for her,” she said.
It would be their last Christmas together. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit and nursing homes locked down, Truman could only speak to Mabel on the phone. He
Cindy was there to help Truman with the days ahead. “I helped him make the arrangements with the funeral home, where he was able to view Mabel. When I brought him home, I realized he needed something appropriate to wear to her funeral.” She again turned to VolTran, “Libbi Moore, the VolTran Coordinator, and I were able to collect appropriate clothes for Truman with help from his former employer at the farm.”
The day of the funeral, Cindy drove Truman. Following the funeral, she collected Mabel’s items from the nursing home, taking extra care to put everything in large black plastic bags. “I left them in bags for a few days until I was certain there were no germs on them that I could potentially pass on to Truman.”
Cindy even wrote Mabel’s obituary and worked with Truman to make arrangements for his own funeral and burial beside Mabel.
Without a trusted ride service system, a vulnerable man like Truman could easily have been taken advantage of. To help those in need of a ride to find trusted services, they can now look for a gold seal.
The Regional Transportation Collaborative, that VolTran is a part of, was awarded a grant from AARP to create the Trusted Community Partnership gold seal, a visual representation of safety that works to overcome two key barriers older adults and individuals with disabilities face when trying to access transportation supports – awareness and trust.
Older adults and individuals with disabilities in need of transportation supports are at a higher risk of falling victim to the many pitfalls in typical system supports, false advertising and people trying to take advantage of their ignorance of rules, rights, and regulations or their possible financial or situational desperation.
Truman and Mabel were fortunate. In a desperate situation and vulnerable to individuals with poor intent, they received services from trusted community organizations working together to ensure that our community’s most vulnerable individuals are not taken advantage of. Not only were they paired with a trust-worthy driver, who had been carefully vetted, but who went well above and beyond what was being asked of her.
The gold seal means that services partnered under RTC have been vetted and can be trusted.
Prior to the formation of the Foothills Area Mobility System, each organization working with volunteers to provide rides to clients operated independently, often duplicating efforts. FAMS took over receipt of calls and works with each organization to fill needs, leaving each organization to focus on its strengths – finding great volunteer drivers so people like Truman and Mabel can focus on each other for as long as they can. The VolTran mission is to provide transportation for the elderly, persons with disabilities and others in serious need for medical appointments and critical errands. Visit www.voltran. org/ for more information.
The Foothills Area Mobility System offers transportation services to people in need; they have vehicles that will accommodate a wheelchair. Volunteer drivers with FAMS have taken clients as far as West Virginia, D.C. and Richmond. There are no eligibility requirements aside from need. However, the agency does need a two-day advance notice to reach out to volunteers. For more information or to volunteer with FAMS visit www.fams.org.
FAMS works collaboratively within the newly implemented Regional Transportation Collaborative Mobility Model to support, expand and improve transportation options in Culpeper, Orange, Fauquier, Madison and Rappahannock counties.
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