LifeStyle Magazine Winter 2004 by Robert Blake

www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

Winter 2004-05 TM

$6.95

Newbies’ Guide to

Swinging East vs West

W HAT’S YOUR F ETISH?

Soft Swing

Sexual Health

LifeStyle Magazine

Winter 2004-05

Features Letter from the Publisher ....................2

East vs West

The European Way By Olaf .....................................................8

Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

LifeStyle Interview .............................10

What To Expect On Your Very First Visit To A Swing Club By Barbi Leigh and Ken ..............................14

Thousands of local swingers waiting for you!

12, 14, 18, 32, 44, 46

Writing The Perfect Personal Ad By Geoff ..........................................12

Product Reviews.................................17

Your Doorway To The LifeStyle By Dr. R. Lindsey ................................18

What’s Your Fetish? By Brian Depenbrock .................................22

Top 10 Reasons To Be A Swinger

By Suzanne and Michael .....................32

LifeStyle Business For Fun and Proﬁt By Steven J. Weil ......................................34 Swing And STDs By Dr. Ziggy .............................................38

The Soft Side Of Swinging

Departments

I Can Do That By Amy Rule .....................................46

Couples Questions by Dr. R. Lindsey .........................................4 Letters From Our Readers....................6 Fashion Fix

Why Bother? By David Lawrence ....................................44

LifeStyle Magazine On Location .......50 Club Listings .......................................54 Events & Conventions........................62

What’s Sexy This Winter? By Danielle ..............................................28

Fabulous Firsts

A Tale of Tricks and Treats By David Lawrence ....................................36

LifeStyle Libations..............................42 LifeStyle Paradox

• Unlimited Pictures • Instant Messaging

• Live Chat • Erotic Stories

• User Forums • Afﬁliate Program

Jealousy, one of the deadly sins of swinging. By Cori ...................................................49

LifeStyle Club Reviews ......................52 Start Your Sexual Revolution

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PUBLISHER

Letter From The Publisher

LifeStyle Magazine

Winter 2004-05

Dear Swingers; Welcome to the second issue of LifeStyle MagazineTM. It’s been a long hard road getting to this point, but you, our readers, are well worth it. The premier issue was very well received and we look forward to many years of serving the LifeStyle community. In this issue we are focusing on info and advice for those new to the LifeStyle and for those that are interested in testing out the waters. We’re conﬁdent that some of the information will help even the most seasoned of swingers to achieve higher levels of satisfaction and understanding of this growing segment of the population.

Brian & Olga Depenbrock publishers

You may have seen some of the exciting new trends in the LifeStyle. We have worked with several mainstream media outlets to help promote the swing community and foster more acceptance by the general public. ABC 20/20, Oprah, Cinemax, VH1 and several other television outlets have found our LifeStyle to be of great interest to the public, and the willingness of these and other media staples to promote the LifeStyle in a good way is a signiﬁcant step in the right direction. Several mainstream magazines are also including articles about the LifeStyle. We work with everyone we can to make sure they fully understand OUR community. You can read some of those articles in magazines such as Details, Suede and a few others we can’t mention at this time. If you’ve never been to a club, resort, convention or other LifeStyle event, we encourage you to give it a try. There is never any pressure to do anything, or anyone, at such events. Just sit back, relax, and soak up the environment. You should also try some of the LifeStyle websites such as SwingLifeStyle.com and SwingersBoard.com where you can meet people, seek advice or simply be entertained. We are still looking for volunteers to help make this magazine THE LifeStyle Magazine. Something we can all be proud of and call our own. If you’d like to write and article, have your picture within our pages, or help in any way, contact us. A special thanks to all of our contributors, we couldn’t do it without them. Keep in mind as you read through the magazine that all of our writers are in the LifeStyle and are helping us free of charge. We feel it is important to gather articles from those that want to promote the LifeStyle for the right reasons. Brian and Olga, Publishers.

Publishers

Brian & Olga Depenbrock info@LifeStyleMagazine.com

Managing Editor

Gary Marshall gary@LifeStyleMagazine.com

Published By

Printer

Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. 11776 W. Sample Road Suite 101 Coral Springs, FL 33065 954-755-7338 St. Ives Printing 2050 McKinley Street Hollywood, FL 33020

LifeStyle Magazine™ Volume 1 Number 2 Winter 2004-05 Executive, editorial and advertising ofﬁces at 11776 W. Sample Road, Suite 101 Coral Springs, FL 33065 LifeStyle Magazine™ is published quarterly (September, December, March and June) by Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C., LifeStyle Magazine™ and Start Your Sexual Revolution™ are trademarks of Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. All rights reserved. Copyright ©2004 Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. Subscriptions may be purchased for LifeStyle Magazine™. Visit our website for more information. LifeStyle Magazine™ will be distributed at clubs throughout the USA. To advertise please contact 954-755-7338 or e-mail advertising@LifeStyleMagazine.com

www.LifeStyleMagazine.com 2

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COUPLES Q

Dr. R. Lindsey, www.pleasure-tek.com

We have been in the lifestyle for going on eight years, and have found that a lot of people can’t be honest, and have to be judgmental. They say they’re not Ken and Barbie and not looking for them, but when you meet them (if they show up) why do they act like they’re better than anyone else instead of just politely saying “were not interested?” It’s like if you’re not as good looking as them or better they wont give you the time of day. The way we see the LifeStyle is that it doesn’t matter what a person looks like, fun is fun. Signed Confused in the LifeStyle Dear Confused, I share your disappointment with couples that lack “verbal correspondence.” This means that they talkthe-talk but don’t walk-the-walk. I believe that most people aspire to be tolerant, accepting, and kind. No one aspires to be superﬁcial. We all strive to be better than that as our values tell us that character is more substantive than cosmetics. The reality is that looks do matter. There is an incredibly strong psycho-biological link between perceived physical attractiveness, arousal, and desire. Similarly, ones feelings toward age, race, gender, habits etc., inﬂuence the degree to which one couple may or may not choose to play with another. To deal with this one must examine one’s own expectations within the context of what is known about human nature. Being in the LifeStyle does not make one immune to the challenges of being human. People will be inconsistent. You can expect to be stood up, turned downed, and snubbed. You must attempt to balance these experiences with the opportunity to meet new friends, develop exciting relationships, and finding other couples that talk-thetalk and walk-the-walk. I encourage you to keep trying. There are many friendships to be made. The best are often difficult to find.

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This all started out with my wife #1 and myself, we are avid swingers and would meet with couples and singles. This is where wife #2 comes in; we, being my wife and myself, worked with wife #2. It started out with her being attracted to the husband and was flirting. Well, the husband told her we were married and yet she still was interested. So he invited her over to have some drinks and play around, everything went accordingly, and she ended up spending the night. Then returned almost everyday thereafter staying longer and longer. To make a long story short we both fell in love with her and she moved in. Now we are totally devoted to one another and we all swing together. We swing just like any other couple, same room, not without each other all the same as other swingers Here is the problem. We would like to swing with other couples and some singles (men and women) but a lot of couples are not interested. All we seem to get are single men wanting to play and often there are males wanting or thinking they are going to give one of us women something we are not getting from hubby. I just don’t understand why we can’t get a lot of response from couples. Please give us some help in this matter. Sexually yours, Bud, Sabrina, and Jasmine

Have a question for Dr. Lindsey?

Sincerely, Dr. R. Lindsey

Hi, I have a kind of weird question. There are three of us that live together. Well I guess you could say more than that because it is as a husband and two wives, at least that is what we consider ourselves. Because we are all dedicated to each other just like any other married couple, neither woman or the man would not, does not want to have anyone else. The only thing that is missing for it to be a three way marriage is the legal papers.

Just send an e-mail to DrRLindsey@LifeStyleMagazine.com If your question gets published we’ll send you a FREE LifeSyle Magazine Hat. Start Your Sexual Revolution

Dear Bud, Sabrina, and Jasmine

I have pondered your dilemma and have gone so far as to talk with two other “triads” to see if they share your challenges and to discover how they have dealt with them. Take comfort in knowing they feel the same way. Most people in the LifeStyle profess to be “open minded” and most individuals and couples have rules designed to address speciﬁc situations. Examples may include: no singles, no drugs, no taking one for the team etc. These rules are designed to promote comfort and safety in situations that are physically, socially, and emotionally complex.

Your best bet is to discuss the nature of your relationship with potential playmates. You did a great job of describing it in the paragraph preceding your question. You will most likely receive some nervous grins, raised eyebrows, and some ﬂat out rejections along with “Three’s Company” references. Be prepared for questions. Typical ones include, “Do you all sleep in the same bed?” “How do you split the chores?” “What do you tell your kids and neighbors?” Balance the benefits and happiness you derive from your relationship with the knowledge that your opportunities to play with other couples will most likely be reduced. You may also make attempts to seek out other triads. I found two and didn’t have to search very far. Be well, Dr. R. Lindsey

We are a happily married couple of many years and newbies in the lifestyle. We have vacationed at a swingers’ resort and tremendously enjoyed the sexually charged atmosphere. We have watched other couples swap partners for erotic fun including all out sexual intercourse. So you could say we have done some “soft swinging” but have yet to swap partners with another couple in bed for sex. We are eager to move to this full-swap/intercourse phase where we can sexually interact with other couples and enjoy sex with a variety of partners. We have a couple of questions for you that would help us newbies: 1. As newbies do you recommend that we get our ﬁrst partner swap sexual experience with an experienced couple or should we work with other newbies to fulﬁll our sexual fantasies? 2. We are close friends with many couples for a number of years. When we socialize we kiss, tease, dance and have lots of fun, all without swapping partners for sex. We would like to swap partners with some of the friends for erotic fun in the nude and sexual intercourse. However, we do not know how to go about ascertaining which couples are open to the idea of swapping mates in bed for sex. We are looking for suggestions for querying these couples that would elicit a response in a non-threatening manner.

In addition, the majority of people in the LifeStyle are married and heterosexual, living as typical couples live in the “plain vanilla” world. They most often believe in a singular/ monogamous love relationship and consider their LifeStyle relationships in the category of “friends with beneﬁts.” The design of your relationship is “different” and therefore receives a different level of scrutiny, attention, and reactivity. In speaking with the other triads, they also have experienced feelings of “being stared” at, “rejection,” or “different attention from singles.”

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey,

We are looking for your suggestions. Thanks for your help.

Newbie Couple. Dear Newbie Couple, In response to the first part of your question, I suggest that as you move toward your first full swap experience, approach it as an exploratory and experimental journey and review your rules first. Next, seek out a more experienced couple to mentor you. Be honest and open. Let them know this is new for you. In our experience, our LifeStyle mentors took extra care to see to our safety, comfort, and pleasure. It is always best to have an experienced guide when traveling to a new place. In response to part two of your question I encourage you to approach long-term friends with caution. If they are not in the LifeStyle, approach the topic with great care. You may begin to share your experiences in a nonthreatening manner. Tell some stories of your LifeStyle experiences and gage their response. We have many “plain vanilla” friends that enjoy being naked in the hot tub, shared massage, and dirty dancing, but have no interest or are not confident enough as a couple to be in the LifeStyle. Don’t sacrifice a good friendship by potentially offending or intimidating another couple. The LifeStyle isn’t for everybody nor does it have to be. Good journey, Dr. R. Lindsey

Start Your Sexual Revolution

www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

COUPLES QUESTIONS with DR. R. LINDSEY

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey,

Questions

Letters from our Readers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hello Brian and Olga:

Dear Lifestyle Magazine, Hello Lifestyle Magazine,

Congratulations on publishing the Premier

Congratulations on putting together a good I just got your Premier Issue and I think

Issue of LifeStyle Magazine. It was simply

magazine, something the LifeStlye needs.

great. We thoroughly enjoyed the contents and

it’s very good. It’s got good info about the

I would like to comment on one thing

learned much about the swinging lifestyle.

LifeStyle that I found really informative. I

that jumped out at me as I read it. From your

received the shipment of your new magazines

have been in the LifeStyle for 5 years and I

magazine, one would assume that unless you

for our club [Southwest VA Socials] members

very much interested in pursuing and enjoying

don’t regret it at all. I have made a lot of great

are a [‘perfect’] couple, there is no place for

and I would like to say that I am very

the sexual delights that the LifeStyle has to

friends in this LifeStyle that I wouldn’t have

you in the LifeStyle. Every single photo was

impressed with what I see. This magazine is

offer. We are still in the soft-swing stage but

met without being a member of the LifeStyle.

of ‘beautiful’ people. My experience of the

very well put together, not at all what I was

we are looking forward to progressing to full

I care for and value my friends completely. I

LifeStyle does not support that conclusion. I am

expecting. It is a very informative and exciting

partner swap with another couple in bed for

was extremely shy at ﬁrst. (I still am but not

a BBW married to a BHM, and we know many

read. I am positive that our members will

sexual intercourse.

near as bad as in the beginning.) My friends

others who do not ﬁt the [‘perfect’] mold who

enjoy it as much as I have.

helped me greatly in this aspect. (Maybe

are active in the LifeStyle.

We are a happily married newbie couple

We are conﬁdent that your magazine

you need the shy swingers point of view?) I

of the social, sensuous and sexual delights

spotted your Magazine on the SLS Website

to be a swinger kept me from the LifeStyle for a

the LifeStyle has to offer. Your magazine

and I had to get it. I will soon be subscribing.

long time. I think it is important that a magazine

clearly sends the message that sex need not

Thanks for putting out a quality magazine.

like yours not fall into that stereotype. Whether

– Phil

The perception that you must be beautiful

you are [‘perfect’], a middle-aged housewife who

husband and wife. The messages conveyed

could afford to lose 20 pounds, or a BBW like

in the magazine will also help break society’s

me, there is a place in the LifeStyle for you.

taboo against intermarital sex and sharing

Hi Gary:

partners for sex, in general. Your magazine is a great hit over here

You are doing the greatest service to

I just wanted to let you know that I

Thanks again,

will help make uninitiated couples aware

be conﬁned to intercourse solely between

Among other things, I am a writer. I would

– Cindy Southwest VA Socials

Hello, We just wanted to say hi and thanks for the complementary issue. Heather and I are

be very interested in writing a column for the

going to send in a subscription. We liked it

magazine focused on helping those who are less

very much. We have been to swinger clubs

society by helping remove the misconceptions

at Club Europa. Many of our members

conﬁdent in their appearance ﬁnd their way in

and house parties but we have not swapped

and bringing the swinging LifeStyle into the

and guest’s have taken one of your issues

this world. It could cover a wide range of topics,

yet. We love meeting new people and making

mainstream. We suggest you have articles

home to read. We also signed on many new

inculding sources of club clothing and lingerie

friends. It is nice to see a magazine on the

that will help newbie couples enter the

members because of our listing. Thank you

in all sizes, overcoming your fears of rejection,

LifeStyle that we enjoy.

LifeStyle with conﬁdence.

for letting us promote you and adding our

ﬁnding your own sexy style, and learning self-

Thanks,

club to your listings. We are getting low on

conﬁdence.

– Anthony & Heather

Congratulations and keep up the good work! – Newbiecouple

inventory so if you want to send us some more please feel free. – Jim and Kimberly

Hello Mr. Marshall;

www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

Start Your Sexual Revolution

Again, congratulations on a good ﬁrst issue. I hope to see it grow into something outstanding. – Amy Rule

Start Your Sexual Revolution

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t s e W s v t s a E

The European Way By Olaf

The club had more the touch of a private party with an intimate setting. The club owner greeted us personally, we paid our cover charge and he led us into the club room. Wow, what a difference! Cozy sofa areas with candlelight and couch tables. Background music and a small area that would allow some dancing, but nobody was dancing. People were gathered in little groups around the tables and bar area. There were no more than 12 couples and a few singles, which, as we found out later that evening, was a perfectly average crowd for a Saturday night. The main room wasn’t very big or spacious, although it had quite an intimate atmosphere. We went to the bar to get a drink and a few minutes later some of the other club guests approached us to introduce themselves, since new faces are rarely seen. We were happy to notice, that the typically stubborn Germans were so outgoing and talkative. We’d like to

mention at this point, that it seems to be a lot harder to strike a conversation or to really meet new people in an American club. Maybe it’s just because of the usually very loud music there.

Have you ever been to Europe? For all of the readers who have visited this other continent, they will agree, that you notice lots of differences instantly when you leave the airport and for example “hit the Autobahn” in Germany.

Six years have passed since then and we still enjoy going out for a club night, sometimes just for a social evening, to meet friends for a drink and dinner, other times for a sexy, playful night.

People not only talk a different language, they live a completely different lifestyle as well. We are a German couple and both of us grew up and lived in Germany for a long time. For the past 10 years we have resided in the U.S. and that is where we started to get involved with the so called lifestyle or you could just say being swingers. We still remember our first visit to a local club here in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. My husband told me to dress sexy, he himself put on a dressy shirt and some nice pants. Since we really had no idea what to expect, we were kind of surprised, to find a nice bar area, a spacious dance floor, loud contemporary music playing and lots of normal looking people, who just enjoyed the social aspect of the whole situation.

Our last vacation we spent in Germany and decided to explore the European Swinger scene. Neither one of us had ever visited a German Swingers club before, so we picked two clubs that were recommended by some friends of ours. We pulled up their websites, to get some more information, about the location as well as the house rules, etc. The cover charge for a single evening is pretty similar to the U.S. clubs, but that’s about where the similarities end. The site said “Woman dress sexy” and “Men dress sexy too!” My husband looked at me stunned “What do they mean?” he asked. So we browsed through the member pictures to get an idea and went shopping for “sexy” men’s wear the next day.

One of the friendly staff members gave us a tour around the club, showing us the locker rooms and play rooms, which were completely separated from the, let’s call it “social playground.” We liked it, especially the fact that we felt comfortable enough to hang around for a few hours, without the feeling, that we had to interact or do something as a “newbie.”

The big day came and we entered the club, covered in a coat, scarf, long pants and boots, since the outside temperatures didn’t quite allow to just walk around, wearing a hint of nothing. Once inside the club, we found ourselves in a big locker room, where we were able to unwrap and ﬁnally show off our sexy outﬁts. Thankfully, the room was nicely heated.

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Start Your Sexual Revolution

We felt very comfortable after just few minutes there, especially my husband, after he saw that he wasn’t the only man wearing “sexy” men’s wear! Drinks and a Dinner-buffet were included in the cover charge, so there was no need to B.Y.O.B. Beverages, beer, wine, as well as a variety of hard liqueurs were offered. As is customary in Europe, no tips were needed or expected. After a while we were, of course, curious to see the play rooms, so we wandered off to explore the rest of the facility. There were different little theme rooms, each one uniquely designed and decorated with love; cozy and quite inviting. A few couples were playing already, but their was no trafﬁc jam. For the ones who liked it hot, there was a sauna. For the ones who needed to relax or loosen up, free massages were offered. Last but not least, we found clean, spacious shower rooms for both genders, to freshen up after a steamy encounter.

There were different little theme rooms, each one uniquely designed and decorated with love; cozy and quite inviting. club not too late, maybe around 2 a.m., with a happy grin on our faces. Overall we thought that this night was deﬁnitely different from a club night in Fort Lauderdale. Not necessarily better, just very different. The club had more the touch of a private party with an intimate setting. Although the same swinger rules apply everywhere, we’re pretty sure that anybody who’s new to the Lifestyle, would prefer an American club for their ﬁrst night out, due to the fact that the facilities in the U.S. are generally set up for a larger crowd, more like a regular night club. To all the swingers who are already a little more outgoing and like to comfortably present themselves in an intimate setting surrounded by strangers, we’d like to say “You have to see this! Enjoy the European way!”

That evening we happened to meet some wonderful people and left the

www.swingfreunde.de Start Your Sexual Revolution

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special feature

LifeStyle Interview Sweetie Pie & Princessa

What’s the most exciting place you’ve done it? On a yacht. Picture a beautiful sunny afternoon on the ocean off the coast of Fort Lauderdale, a luxurious private yacht with gorgeous bodies getting naked.

Which do you prefer in others, a Friendship or a Sexship? It all starts out as a sexship, but always ends in a

LifeStyle Nicknames: Sweetie Pie and Princessa

friendship. We have been very fortunate to meet some really great people. Even when we haven’t seen someone for a while they always remember our names.

How long in the LifeStyle? 3 years

What is your relationship? Married 5 years

Any advice for others, or those new to the LifeStyle? Understand and respect your partner’s desires and wishes.

How did you get started?

Talk about everything before hand, keep the line of communication open. Set your limits and what ever you

After about two years of marriage, while we

agree on, stick to it. If you want to go beyond, you both

were living in Houston, we ventured into a club

must agree to it. Listen to your partner.

called Wishes. Wishes is a very upscale off-premise couples club with attractive, friendly, open minded

1/2 pg. ad.7/6/01

10/8/01

1:58 PM

Page 1

people always ready to socialize. We found the whole experience very exiting and arousing. Then, when we moved to Fort Lauderdale, we saw an advertisement for an on-premise club called

it’s about

Trapeze. When we visited, we loved the people and immediately were hooked on all the possibilities that an on-premise club offers.

What do you enjoy most about the LifeStyle?

do you know?

Everything... The tantalizing opportunities to experience and live out our wildest fantasies.

What do you enjoy least about the LifeStyle? Nothing, we really have not had any bad experiences. The only bad thing I can think of is having to say good night to our new buddies. We are usually the last to leave the club, even after the staff, because it’s so hard to say goodbye.

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Start Your Sexual Revolution

• Many forms of sexual expression practiced by millions of American adults–including, SM and swinging–are still illegal in many areas under antiquated sex laws • Prejudiced, puritanical regulations and law enforcement are used regularly against people who enjoy alternative sexual expression • Anti-gay bigots, racists and sexists, urged on by religious right, continue to use sex to marginalize and persecute minority groups

YOU CAN HELP STOP GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE IN THE PRIVATE SEX LIVES OF CONSENTING ADULTS

national coalition for sexual freedom inc

822 Guilford Ave • Suite 127 • Baltimore, MD 21202 410/539/4824(main) • 410/385-2827 (fax) • 917/848-6544 (media line) www.ncsfreedom.org

Start Your Sexual Revolution

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Newbies ’ Guide to Swinging

There is no exact science for creating a personal ad or proﬁle. But with a little bit of time, effort, and creativity, you can increase your responses dramatically.

Writing The

It can be argued that creating an ad for couples is four times as difficult as creating one for singles. In most cases both you and your spouse (or significant other) have to like both members of the other couple. In turn, both of them have to like both of you if any fun is to be had at all. Try to include an equal amount of information for each of you in your profile.

Perfect Personal Ad By: Geoff

You aren’t competing with Shakespeare. Write one sentence at a time. Just use your own words Like anything else, if you want to get something out of a and let it ﬂow. personal ad, especiallyan ad for couples, then you have to

put something into it. Have you ever looked for a car in the classifieds? What would you do if you saw one that just said “59 Ford?” “59 Ford what?” is what I would ask myself. Rather than calling the owner to find out if there was air conditioning, a CD player, faded paint, cracked windows or how many miles were on the vehicle, most of us would skip the ad and go on to the next one. Personal ads are the same way. You have to give your prospective playmates something to pursue. Here’s a hopeful suggestion to take some of the pain out of trying to find the perfect words for the perfect couple (singles also apply); take some mental notes on profiles that you like and incorporate them into your own profile. You aren’t competing with Shakespeare. Write one sentence at a time. Just use your own words and let it flow.

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Creativity sparks interest. Maybe instead of saying “we like to watch pornos,” try “we would love to have the right couple over to watch Vanessa del Rio’s Greatest Orgasms DVD on our 130 inch high definition TV.” Or rather than “my tits are 34B,” try “my husband loves to flick his tongue on my perky peaches with their hard strawberry-colored nipples.” Or one of my personal favorites, “If you’re horny and you know it, clap your hands.” Lose the Ken and Barbie cliché. Nobody’s perfect, and most of us would rather play with people instead of dolls. Don’t be afraid to be a little bit different. How many of us have gotten all hot and bothered about a couple only to meet them and immediately think, “holy, shit! This isn’t the kind of couple we wanted?” Was it the perception that you got from their profile or the perception that they got from yours? Probably a combination of both. Adding general but important detail on either side may help you avoid needlessly wasting time for all. Don’t be afraid to mention that you have asthma and that meeting in a smoky bar might not be a good idea. Include in your ad if goatees are a huge turn off or that you have fourteen kids and can’t entertain or that great big asses remind you of your bitchy mother-in-law.

Start Your Sexual Revolution

An equal amount of pictures of both of you is also nice to see. I get very wary when I read a nice ad, then see ten pictures of the female and none of the male. Looking at ten different poses of the same person in the same outﬁt doesn’t do much to create excitement either. And, while taking close-ups of cocks (it can make them look larger, just like the burger commercials on TV) and pussies can add to the spousal thrill, looking at them is like looking at a picture of a spot on a leopard. They are all different, but not much fun to gaze at. Use a variety of facial closeups and full body shots, with and without clothing. Glamour shots aren’t necessary and are especially hard to get when taking pictures of sexual action. It is nice, however, to see at least one picture with makeup on a lady and a picture of the man without his Harley. Refrain from using wedding pictures. Nobody looks that good anymore, unless you got married to your favorite swinging single the day before.

SEX Pleasing TIP Him Alternate using your hand and mouth for oral sex. You won’t get as tired and the varying textures will excite him even more.

How much detail is necessary? Enough to spark interest, but not so much that you kill a chance of meeting a decent couple. Unfortunately, there is not an overabundance us who are so drop dead gorgeous that we have to hire a personal secretary to sift through mountains of responses on a daily basis. In case you are so hot as to make others wish that they look like you in their wildest fantasies, then you’ll probably want to be very speciﬁc about your requirements so as to steer clear of lots of thanks-but-no-thanks answers. For the rest of us, the trick is to appear open enough to generate interest while at the same time be detailed enough to attract likely playmates. If you have had an ad for quite some time and don’t feel that you are catching the attention of those that you want, feel free to change some words or phrases, while not making yourselves look like people that you aren’t. Sometimes, no matter how much you drool over what you think is a supremely compatible couple, they just won’t be interested. Don’t sweat it. Simply move on.

SEX Pleasing TIP Her Once in a while, take her with a dominant ﬂair, pull her to you, rip off her clothes and do it cave man style.

We love to enjoy a Big Mac with a glass of merlot before sex. Looking for a like couple whose main source of entertainment is NOT farting the theme song to Snow White. Hard passionate kissing is desired but not mandatory. He is wanting the female to be unshaved and the male to have at least half of his natural teeth. Her only requirement is that the male walk upright. Truck has very good suspension and we will even provide a mattress if desired. Will respond to all inquiries. Don’t be afraid, get laid! There is no exact science for creating a personal ad or proﬁle. But with a little bit of time, effort, and creativity, you can increase your responses dramatically and hopefully get some quality along with the quantity that will make your swinging experience a good one.

Spellcheck... use it. Enough said. Remember the ’59 Ford? Maybe now it reads: For sale, ’59 Ford pickup truck for use in an open ﬁeld on a starry night. Included are a mid 40’s couple, naked and dripping with desire. He is bisexual, and (with the aid of a handful of Viagra) will stay hard for hours. She is straight, and while she doesn’t mind rubbing butts with another female while howling at the moon, she will not turn into a Lickolotapuss on request.

Don’t be afraid to be a little bit different. Start Your Sexual Revolution

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Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

What to Expect on Your

Most people have the wrong idea of what a swing club is. Many think that it’s just one big orgy; that you check your clothes at the door and then dive right in, doing anything you want with whomever you like. This is completely not the case! More than anything else, it’s a social club where you’ll meet and form friendships with some of the nicest people you’ve ever met. In some cases, you’ll form bonds that will last a lifetime.

Here’s how it works... When you walk into a swing club for the very first time, you and / or your partner are probably very nervous. You don’t know anyone there and you might feel like everyone is watching you. That’s a good sign! That means you’re normal. That’s exactly how everyone feels their first time. You might expect a lot when you first come to a club and that’s probably the biggest cause of anxiety for first time visitors. I realize that for many men it’s hard to not think about fulfilling all your fantasies about orgies and threesomes. That could be a huge mistake. As a first time visitor, wives are usually more nervous about the evening, and one sure way to add fuel to that nervous fire is for her to see her husband bouncing off the walls with excitement about jumping into an orgy or looking overly anxious about being with someone new. The best way to approach the evening is with only one single expectation, and that is to have a fun time together. For your first visit to a swing club, plan on just having a nice dinner and enjoying the sexually charged dance floor. This way

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Very First Visit to a

you’ll both be completely comfortable, she’s not worried about him wanting to dive into the ﬁrst orgy he sees, and he’s not worried about deciding who is worthy of touching his precious wife.

Swing Club

Then one (or a few) of the following things will deﬁnitely happen... 1 - At the end of the night after dinner

and dancing, you will both go home with each other and after dancing all evening in such a sexually charged environment you will both have the best mind-blowing orgasms during your love-making that you’ve had in years, probably recharging your sex life and supercharging your relationship and your marriage.

2 - While on the

crowded dance floor, during one of the slow songs, you’re dancing together and an attractive couple is dancing beside you and her clothes are coming off. You find her body rubbing against yours on the dance floor. You both respond by touching and caressing them back. Then after the song, you disappear into the crowd enjoying the excitement of the nameless pleasure of this slight, yet sexy, anonymous encounter.

3 - You are both so turned on by

the evening that you go into one of the many cozy, private rooms, lock the door behind you and dim the chandelier. Then, seeing each other in the mirrors that surround you, enjoy

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By: Barbi Leigh & Ken great sex together. Knowing that right on the other side of the wall, another couple (or threesome, foursome or moresome) is doing the same. In fact you can even hear their sexy sounds through the walls, which multiplies your excitement.

4 - You both decide to be a little adventurous. You secure your clothes in a locker and wrap up in two giant beach towels, both provided complimentarily by the playroom attendant. You go to the giant Jacuzzi for a bit where you can enjoy being naked. Since you’re shy, on your ﬁrst visit you feel more comfortable being in the water where your hands can roam, playing with each other (and maybe others too) under water. Although not in obvious plain view of everyone, others might be engaged in all sorts of easily viewable activities in the Jacuzzi, your play brings you close to climax. 5 - You both know that you want to see more, but you’re not sure about how much you want to participate in. So wrapped in your little security blanket beach towels you venture into the main upstairs “Luvnasium” party complex. One gigantic mattress covering several entire rooms, surrounded by mirrored walls with tropical plants, lighting, ceiling fans and naked bodies, lots of them. You don’t get on the mattress, but instead you ﬁnd a comfortable viewing location, close enough to

Everything you see here, everything you do going here, must remain here on. And maybe when you leave here. you’ll engage in easily view all the exciting activities in the room down below you, yet far enough away to accommodate your comfort zone. You feel like you’re part of the activities though not needing to participate in them. It’s like you’re sitting in an adult theater watching the most erotic orgy you’ve ever seen, except this time it isn’t a movie. The action is real and live!

6 - You see the couple you were slow

dancing beside on the dance ﬂoor. There is room next to them so you spread your beach towels out on the mattress beside them and lay down. You begin kissing and playing with your mate, when after a little while the pretty girl of the couple beside you gently touches your arm to extend an invitation to touch them back. You respond to her touch not really knowing yet how much touching or caressing will take place, but knowing full well that either couple can say no at any time and set any limits they desire. Maybe the ladies only touch each other while the men each pleasure their own wives. Maybe the men are massaging both the ladies’ entire bodies or maybe the ladies are stroking the other man while having sex with her husband. Who knows what might happen on this special magical night, it’s all up to you and those involved with you. Maybe she might enjoy giving you oral while her husband services her from behind, you’ll be sure to see plenty of that

full partner sharing with a complete exchange of partners. It’s entirely up to you and those involved, this is your night, you set your own limits. At the end of the night, maybe you’ll exchange phone numbers with this other couple or maybe you’ll just enjoy seeing them at “Your” club once in a while. Remember, it’s all up to you.

Besides, you don’t want to be rude or judgmental, because you wouldn’t want it to happen to you. If a single gentleman talks to you and you are interested in swinging with couples only, that doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to him. He’s a person just like you! Just politely let him know.

3 - If you are rejected (and

it happens to everyone, including women), do not take personal offense. Rejection is a very personal thing, and it’s almost as hard to reject as it is to be rejected. Honesty with each other is crucial.

Rules to live by for a guaranteed great time... 1 - The Golden Rule: “NO means

NO.” Anyone may say “NO” for any reason, at any time even if you are in the middle of a swinging encounter and have changed your mind and want to stop it right there! If you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, just say “NO.” Do not jeopardize your happiness and satisfaction with this LifeStyle, or that of your partner, by doing something against your will just because you are afraid to say no. The friendliest way is to say, “oh no thank you, but thanks for asking.” Be honest initially, and you will avoid any misunderstandings. Don’t forget that people’s attitudes change and who knows? Maybe sometime in the future you may meet again with a different opinion.

2 - Always treat one another with respect. After all, this is a party!

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Who knows? You could end up with a great friendship if you handle the situation right.

4 - Deal with jealousy head on! It is a normal reaction. Remember that this is strictly a physical & recreational pleasure, not an emotional one. Discover what triggers jealousy in your relationship and work it out together. It may mean modifying your activities, but your relationship together is not worth jeopardizing over swinging. 5 - Always let your steady partner

know she or he is number one. Arrive together, take time to caress them, touch base often; it makes one feel secure. And always leave together.

6 - Use your common sense and good judgment when you are involved in a swinging situation. Be kind, thoughtful and sensitive. Swingers, couples & single guys are people and have feelings too!

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Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

Always let your steady partner know she or he is number one. Arrive together, take time to caress them, touch base often; it makes one feel secure. And, always leave together. 7 - Honor any and all prior

understandings and rules you have made between each other, and be sure to communicate with each other openly and honestly so there are no misunderstandings about your rules.

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8 - Respect the guidelines

you set as a couple and communicate them to prospective partners. Open, honest communication is imperative to forming relationships! And please don’t forget to respect the guidelines of others. Don’t try to “talk them into” changing their rules because you don’t happen to agree with them!

9 - Pay attention to body

language. There is more to interaction than words. Consider the body language of the person you are talking

Product Reviews

with and it will tell you more than the conversation you are having! Be sensitive to the person and you will know what makes them uncomfortable or happy and excited.

10 - Demand absolute discretion and be worthy of the same. Discretion is paramount in this LifesStyle! Privacy

is imperative! Never, ever discuss details inappropriately. Everything you do, everything you see, must remain private. We have a saying, “Everything you see here, everything you hear here, must remain here when you leave here.”

Not just for shaving your privates, this electric razor is ideal for maintaining a trim or bald “hot spot”. The unique design only shaves the stubble, so you can easily maintain that patch of hair or shave an entire area without worrying about cutting the longer hairs. Requires and includes one C Battery. $59.95 This product and many more available at www.ThePussyShaver.com

The Liberator For your enhanced sexual pleasure, “Liberate yourself.” These ﬁrm wedges are perfect for getting into those special positions. We were skeptical, thinking a pillow or two would sufﬁce, but after trying it out, it really does make a difference. Removable cover for easy cleaning. $130 For the full line of Liberator products visit www.Liberator.com

Want your product reviewed? Email us at products@LifeStyleMagazine.com or call 954-755-7338 16

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Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

Your Doorway to the LifeStyle: First Steps to a New Adventure By: Dr. R. Lindsey www.pleasure-tek.com

Every journey begins with a ﬁrst step. For “newbies” (a new couple) entry into the LifeStyle may begin through many different doorways. These doorways include but are not limited to: the Internet, personal ads in magazines, introduction by friends, going

to an off-premise club, visiting an on-premise club, attending a house party, vacationing at a LifeStyle friendly resort, and attending a convention. This article will examine each of these “doorways” and explore the beneﬁts and challenges of each.

The Internet The Internet is by far the fastest and least expensive way to explore the LifeStyle. There are free and fee-for-service sites that provide educational information, calendars of events, chat rooms, and the ever popular personal profiles. The internet has expanded and connected our world in so many ways and has truly brought the LifeStyle out of the closet. Benefits of the Internet are that it provides a simple and safe way to learn about the LifeStyle and meet other couples. However, the reliability of Internet sources and the large volume of information may be overwhelming. In researching this article I randomly selected a free local Yahoo Group for “swingers.” Upon examination it had over 1500 profiles with members from 32 states. Sifting through

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all the choices is a daunting task. In addition one must also maintain a “buyer beware” attitude when deciding to “internet date.” My wife and I have encountered couples whose photographs were ten years out of date, manipulated, or just posted under false pretenses. We have been “stood up” on more than one occasion and we have prepared to meet a couple only to encounter a single male or female. One must always take steps to ensure personal safety. Never go alone and always meet in a public venue. Chat rooms and message boards are other methods of meeting singles and couples via the Internet. Most LifeStyle sites offer these services to get their members talking, answer questions, promote events, and sadly to gossip.

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The Internet and personal ads are mass media approaches to learning about and entering the LifeStyle. One could spend all day writing messages, responding to email, and chatting on line. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked in to this. Use the Internet as a tool. Do not let it replace direct communication and face to face interaction with others.

Personal Advertisements Personal advertisements are the forerunners to Internet dating. Personal ads may be found in many LifeStyle focused magazines and periodicals. Typically the personal ad is more direct and to the point because you pay by the line. Personal ads may include photographs, physical descriptions and social and sexual preferences. This helps the reader pick and choose who to contact in a more deliberate fashion. However, the same beneﬁts and challenges apply here as with Internet dating. The Internet and personal ads are mass media approaches to learning about and entering the LifeStyle. Remember to use your head and be sensible in using these doorways.

Introduction by Friends Many couples have told me that they “stumbled into the LifeStyle.” Often, they became aware of a couple that was in the LifeStyle, became curious, asked questions, and began to explore. Typically, one’s “friends” would not have brought it up if they didn’t feel that the novice couple was tolerant, open minded, and had the potential to enjoy the LifeStyle in a healthy manner. Sometimes these initial conversations prompt invitations to small intimate gatherings, house parties, or trips to a local club. Having friends assist you as trusted tour guides can be very helpful in taking your ﬁrst steps. However, ﬁnding friends like this are rare. Most couples keep their LifeStyle activities private. In fact, it wasn’t until we entered the LifeStyle that we became aware that many of our friends, neighbors, and relatives were part of the club.

In addition, if you have had a long-term relationship with another couple, entering this territory may be stressful and could change the nature of your relationship. We have found that some friends will “just be friends” and some will be “friends with beneﬁts.” Ultimately, knowing someone helps in any new endeavor. Finding another couple to mentor you is a great way start. You can adopt this strategy in a deliberate fashion if you decide to. Let people know that you are “newbies.” Look for friendship ﬁrst. Look for couples that share common interests in addition to sex.

Going to at an Off-Premise Club Going to an “off-premise” club is another way to begin to explore the LifeStyle. Off-premise clubs include many features typical of a private club with a more of an adult oriented LifeStyle friendly environment. Many have dancing, dining, and a bar. Some offer game rooms, contests, and the obligatory cover charge or member fee. Off-premise clubs offer a sexy environment with no sex. Hence the term off-premise (sex happens elsewhere). These clubs are a good place to meet others in a sexy yet safe environment. However, you will encounter the same challenges one has when trying to meet people at “vanilla clubs” (non-LifeStyle). Clubs can be loud and smoke filled and you still must overcome the typical anxieties that we all face when meeting new people. You are strongly encouraged to limit your use of alcohol for reducing anxiety. It is important to be clear if you truly want to meet others and learn from your experience. When you go to a club for the first time relax and get to know the surroundings, be friendly and patient. Smile, say hello, and take time to observe, and let people know that you are new to all this. You will find that honesty

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Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

Most conventions offer seminars which are great opportunities to learn the ropes, meet people, dispel myths, and reduce anxiety. Vacationing at a LifeStyle Friendly Resort

Clubs can be loud and smoke ﬁlled and you still must overcome the typical anxieties that we all face when meeting new people. and manners go a long way. Remember, basic LifeStyle etiquette should always be employed.

needs of private parties, semi-private groups, and open groups of playful people.

You may also encounter groups of people that appear to be cliquish. Most often they are just friends that are comfortable with one another and are not intentionally trying to exclude anyone from the conversation. Try not to be offended or angered if you feel ignored.

Voyeurism is often encouraged and enhances the experience of those being watched. This is a feast for the senses. The sights, sounds, smells, and energy may be extremely arousing.

In addition, many off-premise clubs admit single males and females at inﬂated and reduced rates respectively. Therefore you may encounter the advances of single club attendees. Many ﬁnd this is uncomfortable and unwanted. Some see singles as being “on the prowl;” others view this as an opportunity to make a new friend. Either way, prepare for this type of interaction so you may handle it in a manner that is direct, respectful, and right for you. If you do meet others that you are interested in it is best to be ready. You may consider making special business cards with contact information (email address, screen name, phone). Some couples go so far as to print their photograph on their cards. Exchanging information is a great way to express mutual interest and begin communicating with other couples.

Visiting an On-Premise Club If you are brand new to the LifeStyle and begin your adventure at an on-premise club prepare for nothing less than “WOW.” Most on-premise clubs have become very upscale with membership fees and cover charges to match. Many offer ﬁne dining or extensive buffets comparable to cruise ship cuisine. They also provide entertainment with many of the best deejays in the business and celebrity guests. Dress well and dress sexy. Many clubs offer changing rooms, lockers, and shower facilities. Get ready for a sassy and classy night out. On-premise means that the club provides space for patrons to engage in intimate behavior. Many on-premise clubs offer themed rooms that are designed to meet the

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For new couples this may be a bit overwhelming. Be assured that you do not have to do anything and never allow yourself to be pressured. Know that these clubs represent the glitzy, high energy aspect of the LifeStyle. The club scene isn’t for every couple and there are other options and venues for you to explore.

Attending a House Party House parties are a great way to enter the LifeStyle and meet and greet new couples. Invites to house parties may come from friends, online groups, or people that you meet in clubs. House parties are more intimate than clubs. Many hosts serve light food and may provide a bar or ask guests to BYOB. Often guests are invited to spend the night. Well planned house parties have a mixture of couples that have already developed friendships/ relationships and new couples. There is also a range of experience. This diversity adds to the excitement of the gathering.

Vacationing at a LifeStyle friendly resort is another way to begin your adventure. These resorts cater to open minded singles and couples, many are all inclusive, and most are clothing optional. However, you must remember that not all nudists are swingers and not all swingers are nudists. These resorts are adult oriented and sponsor activities and parties that promote sexy fun. Many couples travel to these resorts unaware of the LifeStyle and observe their ﬁrst experiences at these resorts. Although these resorts are full of sexy fun they are also full of other activities typical of vacation destinations. This is great for newbies because there is always something to see and do. Similarly, there is a degree of anonymity and distance in exploring the LifeStyle far away from home. It parallels the mentality of “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” This feeling of freedom combined with the erotic atmosphere is a seductive combination. However, these experiences do require time away from work, money to pay for it, and are not designed for the family. If you can work around these challenges, you can expect to have a great time at a great price with memories to last a lifetime.

Attending a Convention

Most conventions offer seminars which are great opportunities to learn the ropes, meet people, dispel myths, and reduce one’s anxiety. Serious topics often include: “An Orientation to Lifestyle Etiquette,” “Rule Making and Breaking,” “Coping with Jealousy,” “How to Meet and Greet,” and “How to Say No and Still Be Friends.” Fun topics may include: “Intimate Massage Classes,” “Sexy Photography,” “The Art of Mutual Masturbation,” and “How to Strip for Your Man.” Most conferences offer packages that include rooms, meals and activities. They sponsor contests, pool parties, and evening events such as dances and other entertainment. Conventions provide a great venue to meet a large number of other couples. Conferences come in many sizes. Some are large with over 3000 attendees and cover many venues. Others are more intimate, restricting their numbers to around 300-400 couples and take place in a single venue assuring privacy and safety. Newer, more progressive conventions have taken the most attractive aspects of the internet, on-premise clubs, and vacation resorts and combined them into a 3-4 day stateside experience. Many conventions have their own Yahoo group with member proﬁles, email and chat. They sponsor great parties with great entertainment, food, and dancing. Some create beautiful and elaborate theme rooms for late night sexy fun. Remember, if you come to a convention, don’t arrive with expectations but expect to have a great time.

The Time Is Now

Convention attendance is an excellent way to enter the LifeStyle. In fact, it is how my wife and I were introduced (a story for another time). Conferences offer a wide range of activities to attendees, many of which are designed with newbies in mind.

The time is now, or maybe later. Either way I hope that you will consider the various doorways to the LifeStyle described in this article and when ready consider the door open and yourself welcome.

Many house parties begin with an ice breaker activity. House parties offer the opportunity to talk, play party games, and move at one’s own pace into more intimate activities. However, ﬁnding time to plan a party, family responsibilities, personal expense, space limitations, and nosey neighbors limit the size and frequency of house parties. If you are invited to a house party know that hosting a house party requires a lot of energy. Be gracious and thankful to your host and do not commit to attending a house party if you cannot or choose not to go.

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The BDSM Triad

What’s Your

Fetish?

Bondage-Discipline For Play and Control

SWINGING is a fetish,

watching, orgies, sharing. Yep, all fetishes.

Just like swinging, Fetishes are anything from mild to wild. From tickling with a feather to spanking and restraint.

In this issue we’ll cover the broad fetish of BDSM.

Sadomasochism For Pain, when the Sub/Bottom enjoys such

All BDSM should be safe, sane and consensual.

k.co

bkin

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.clu www

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For Control and Role Playing

of esy ourt

DominantSubmissive

to c

BD – DS – SM

Fire-Ice Swinging Foot/Shoe worship Flogging-Paddles-Whips CBT (Cock and Ball torture) Ouch! Bondage – Silk scarf, rope, handcuffs Spanking (who doesn’t like a good spankin’) Wax (be sure you use the right wax to avoid injury)

Pho

BDSM is a Lifestyle of its own and those that live the lifestyle occupy one or more parts of the BDSM triad:

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Sane: All

Getting started:

participants remain in control; it is for fun and amusement, not for going crazy.

Safe: A red

butt is ﬁne, but black and blue is not.

Find a local group or try out a club and learn. You can ﬁnd local groups and clubs on the Internet or in magazines and brochures at adult book stores.

Clubs are for: A place to go “watch” or participate. A place to meet and socialize. A place to play. Expect a relaxed atmosphere. Watch – Learn – Enjoy If someone asks to massage your feet, and you agree to allow it, that now makes you the Top (in control). You owe absolutely nothing in return. Your new Bottom has gotten all they want, to serve.

There is no pain in the BDSM lifestyle, unless that is what you want.

Fetish Club info

A few books of interest: “SM101” by Jay Wiseman “Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns” by Philip Miller

A true fetish club IS: A place for members and guest to enjoy one or more parts of the triad.

Consensual:

Boundaries are agreed upon by both the Dom and the Sub.

A Top or a Dom is generally the one in control, or at least that’s the way it appears on the surface. Bottom or Sub is being controlled. In actuality, the Bottom/Sub is in control of the experience and dictates what they will allow. In a Dom/Sub relationship, the participants generally live as Dom/Sub, on an ongoing basis. The Dom controls the Sub’s life to a large extent, not as a slave, but as an elected leader. For the Sub, your Dom IS your world, you live and breathe for this person, not because you are weak or weird, just because you feel you need to be told what to do. Many marriages are Dom/Sub relationships. A Sub feels that they exist for and because of their Dom. In a marriage, one partner usually becomes the Sub in many things; “What’s for dinner” is an example. For a Sub, if the Dom is happy, the Sub is happy.

Many Subs wear a collar as if it were a wedding ring and usually will have more than one collar (vanilla for a night at the movies, or a more noticeable one for a night of play). In a Top Bottom relationship, the participants are having fun for a short period of time, such as a powerful executive that relieves stress by being a Bottom for an evening.

Dominance is the ultimate form of Submission

Dominance is the ultimate form of Submission. Without your Sub, you have no control, thus the Sub, by obeying the Dom, controls the Dom. The Sub decides to obey or not.

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Generally, one is either a Dom/Top or a Sub/Bottom. A few people qualify as a switch and can do both. It seems on the surface that it would be fun to do both, but once you’ve given it a try, you’ll usually ﬁnd that only one “speaks” to you.

Most fetishes are M-F, although there are some F-F partners. M-M fetish partners are generally in their own community. In many ways, a marriage is a compromise, or is it a switch? The male in a marriage is usually responsible for certain parts of a marriage and the female for other parts. Both partners “switch.”

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A true fetish club IS NOT: A place to ﬁnd a professional Dominatrix; you pay for entry to the club, not for someone to abuse you.

The movie “Secretary” is also a decent example of a Sub/Dom relationship.

A true fetish club IS NOT: A dress up party where you need to buy expensive outfits and equipment just to get in the door. Many true fetish clubs have an open door policy where most anyone can pay to enjoy a party, no special clothing is required just to watch and try things out. Just call and ask before you attend. Females can generally wear anything they wish, regular club wear is fine. Making a wardrobe decision can be a bit more difficult for men, but for your first visit, basic black will help you blend in. If you’re interested, give a club a call and take a chance. No one will grab you and tie you up, unless you ask, and you’re free to simply watch. If you do want to play, you’ll usually need your own toys.

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We were surprised to discover that, just like swingers, these people are often misunderstood. There seems to be two classes of BDSM; those that play dress up and those that play for real. Many parties and stores are in the dress up camp, with party goers in outlandish outﬁts trying to outdo each other. It’s a Halloween party every weekend. Attendees are generally required to dress the part (a potentially expensive endeavor) but this helps maintain that fantasy world they seek since everyone is dressed in theme. I don’t have a foot fetish, but man alive, some of those sexy long fetish boots make my pants get tight.

My wife and I recently visited a few Fetish/BDSM stores, parties and clubs as research for this article. We were surprised to discover that, just like swingers, these people are often misunderstood. At ﬁrst we were very hesitant about this article and more hesitant about visiting a club. We quickly discovered that those in the “BDSM Lifestyle” are regular people,” with regular professions, just like us swingers.

The other camp are those that live and play for this lifestyle. Sure, they dress up, but dress up is not the point and is not required. Visiting clubs such as Club Kink in Pompano Beach, FL (www.clubkink.com) is a relaxing, no pressure experience. Well, I say relaxing, but it was a very exciting experience. Relaxing from the standpoint of not being required to dress up or participate. Relaxing to have a drink, discuss a variety of topics and be around open minded people. Exciting to watch people play with BD, DS and SM, all in a safe, comfortable environment.

Your Sub is your toy, don’t break it.

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FaSHIONﬁx

FaSHIONﬁx What’s Sexy this Winter? By DANIELLE www.shopfantasy.com

Despite our shape, part of being a woman is an eternal dissatisfaction with our bodies. Most of us have some feature that makes us cringe when we look in a dressing room mirror. The good news is you don’t need a fabulous body to look good. The secret is knowing how to hide the parts you want to forget and bring attention to the parts you love. Accentuate the one part of your physique you like most, show off those great breasts in a velvet corset, long legs in a

Let’s talk Flashy!

leather mini, shoulders in something strapless or a tiny waist with a rhinestone belt. Draw the attention where you want it!

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Accentuate the one part of your physique you like most. Most of us believe, though we don’t want to admit it, that fashion is for people who are smaller or taller or thinner than we are. Forget that inner thought and Go for the Sexy Gusto! Going for the gusto is wearing something that you would normally picture on someone taller, slimmer or that has a much younger body. It means being able to reveal as much as you conceal. Create interest in the part of your body that you feel is sexiest. If you feel sexy, others will see the sexy you. Encase a generous thigh in a lacy stocking top and let the world know that a 200-pound woman is still very sexy. Look for ideas on plus size dressing in the next issue of Lifestyle Magazine. Ignore the sizing on the label and buy the size that really ﬁts you no matter what the number says. Labels, remember, are worn on the inside and when it

ends up on the ﬂoor later that evening, no one is going to stop the action and read the label. Jeans when “classed up” are becoming appropriate at unexpected places: Home parties, Sunday brunches, and even nights at the LifeStyle Clubs. Start by skipping your faded, baggy, ripped and broken-in jeans. Instead, do crisp dark indigo denim for a more formal look. A sleeker silhouette, such as Bootcut jeans with a low rise will give you a leaner, sexier, more sophisticated line. Top with a dramatic shirt. For nighttime, select a top in an evening fabric like satin or chiffon, or one adorned with rhinestones or sequins. And go for a sexy cut, like an off-the-shoulder shell, deep cowl or a body-slimming halter. A more formal top adds a dressy feel to your jeans.

And while we are on the subject of SHOES... Let’s talk Flashy! Flat, matte leather, a staple for fall footwear, gives way to decidedly shinier options like metallic and patent leather. You can’t go wrong with pointy-toed styles in patent or pretty-colored leathers; flats with metal details, such as buckles and grommets; and delicate slingbacks. If spike heels are not for you, do flats with a short skirt length. Flats look best when worn with a shorter skirt since having no heel can make legs look shorter. Showing a bit more leg gains back that length. All spread photos courtesy of www.shopfantasy.com

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FaSHIONﬁx

You’ve finally met the perfect couple or the ones who might become the perfect couple. While caught up in your wardrobe frenzy of finding the oh so perfect outfit, don’t neglect your tippy toes. That is, put just as much thought into what you wear on the bottom (your feet) as you do on top. Your kicks are, essentially, the cherry on top; they are the accessory that makes or breaks the outfit. But not all shoes are created equal, and what you don for a big night out, just might help make it a weekend out. Slip on a flirty heel, one that’s sexy without being intimidating. If the weather allows, expose your pedicure and go for maximum seduction, by opting for an open toed sandal. If your outfit is fairly basic, why not let your shoes grab the spotlight? And don’t forget the little details like bows, rhinestones and lush fabrics; they take shoes from blah to Hot-worthy in seconds. Leathers, pleathers, suedes and cottons, patent or glossy leather; there are plenty of elegant options that come complete with gorgeous beading, bows and jewels. If boots are your thing, the trendiest boots right now are kneehigh, have a rounded toe, and sport a thicker, cone-shaped or stacked heel, making them easier to wear and much more comfortable. Be ready for the holidays in plenty of glitz and keep glittering right on through Valentine’s Day. Feel sexy about yourself, look and feel touchable and have a ball! Photo courtesy of www.shopfantasy.com

FaSHIONﬁx

The Big Night How to select the perfect jeans for your body type. Are you... Short Waisted: Select low slung, hip-hugger styles, which will give you the illusion of having a longer torso. Long Torso: Choose a pair with a deﬁned waist, which will make your bottom half look longer and leaner. Plus-Size, Wide Hips: Try jeans with a slight ﬂare at the leg, which will help to balance your hips. Look for jeans with a bit of stretch for comfort, and back pockets that are large and closely-spaced. Very Slim: Go for a pair with simple styling and tapered legs, for a more classic look, or straight legs for a trendier effect.

What Is The Ultimate Sex Appeal Item? -You tell us! LifeStyle Departments

When searching for potential play partners, what do you think the most important sex appeal item is? Ladies, what item of clothing do you wear to make yourself feel sexier? What item of clothing makes a man look sexier?

Petite: Select a pair with straight legs, worn on the long side with a high heel to give you a taller silliouette. The ﬁnishing touches on an evening jeans look? Go for the glitz here, adding rhinestones, chandelier earrings or hoops. Next, one of the highlights of the winter season, add sexy shoes. Dressed-up jeans call for more dramatic footwear. Sexy, strappy heels lengthen your legs, as long as your jeans are long enough to cover most of the heel. Try a pair with pointed toes and a slender heel for instant chic.

Gentlemen, what item of clothing do you wear to make yourself feel sexier? What item of clothing makes a woman look sexier? Email your answers to fashion@lifestylemagazine.com One entry will be selected at random to receive a $100 dollar Shopping Spree at www.shopfantasy.com We’ll publish your answers in the next issue.

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Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

Top Ten Reasons to be a Swinger

Reason Staying “attractive” is good for you. Nothing is more motivation to stay on a diet, or exercise then the prospect of a swing party. Many times we stop maintaining our attractiveness when we settle in a relationship. If we want to be “swappable” we need to shake that up. This is not always just about looking like a “10” but attractiveness is about the attitude of a “10.”

By Suzanne and Michael

I have written several articles about how fun sex can be and have been asked, why swing? Taking excerpts from our favorite authors Ed and Dana’s “Consider Swinging,” here are the top ten reasons to swing.

Reason

Remember Swinging is recreational sex. Responsible non-monogamy. Many couples bowl together for fun and recreation, swingers have sex for fun and recreation. Here is how it can work:

Reason

Play dress up. Yes! Finally an environment that gives you the opportunity to wear those daring dresses and leather lingerie. You can shop the adult catalogs and stores and have a place to show off. You will not get arrested, assaulted or laughed at. Most women and men enjoy dressing up and strutting their stuff.

Reason

Getting your fantasies fulfilled. Two ladies? Three men? Same sex? Intimate moment with a stranger? Being watched? Watching others? Large piles of anonymous flesh? If you can fantasize about it, the swing lifestyle can help fulfill it. Swing is about consensual and discreet participants hosting your fantasy.

Reason

Satisfy your appetite for variety. You probably have a loving, wonderful, sexy partner but why limit yourself? Big muscles, big boobs, shapely butt or pendulous penis, blondes, red heads, brunette or bald, on top, on bottom, on the side, it is all out there. Life is a smorgasbord of delights. Step up to the feast!

Reason

Enjoyable company. Swingers are the kind of people that are exciting and fun to be with. They are happy, honest, vibrant, intelligent, attractive and very friendly. Swingers enjoy being swingers all the time. The club environment is free but swingers are great fun at parties, picnics, movies, dinner, ball games and any place people go for fun and recreation. Everything’s better when shared with wonderful people.

Reason

Reason A very healthy lifestyle. Most swinging scenes discourage heavy alcohol consumption, prohibit drug use and can provide good cardiopulmonary exercise. The best way to stay healthy and avoid colds is to know there is a social event coming up soon. Swinging will get you out and about more often than any other hobby.

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Improve your sexual technique. You and your partner may be very adept lovers but you don’t know what you don’t know. Some things need to be seen and practiced, not just read about.

Good friends. Nothing outside your own family is more valuable than friendship. If you are one of the lucky ones, you have a few really good friends. Stick around swingers for a while and you will ﬁnd several more. This intimate lifestyle is the perfect venue for meeting other couples that truly share your interests and approach to life.

The Top Reason To Consider Swinging Is “The couple that plays together....” You have heard talk of “nonmonogamous” lifestyles. This is different. If swinging were just about freely having sex with other people it would not need a special name. What makes swinging special is that couples do it together. There are very few things that draw partners together better than the social and sexual sharing of swinging. You may be thinking that you might not want to share your partner with someone else, consider that when you and your partner go to the movies together, you are not sharing them with the movie, rather the two of you share the experience of watching the movie. Shared experiences are the building blocks of a strong relationship. We are not suggesting you share your partner with anyone. We are suggesting that you share with each other the joys of experiencing other people mentally, emotionally and physically. Suzanne and Michael www.rmcsc.com Explore your fantasies

Reason Better friends. The sad truth is jealousy; envy and similar sexual issues break friendships among couples. The second best reason to swing is the positive effects it can have on friendships. There is no reason to hide your desire for your friend’s partner when that desire is openly welcomed. There is no reason to be fearful of your partner having an affair behind your back when you enjoy watching and joining in. It is fantastic when everyone is relaxed and real; the sexual tensions are removed from the friendship.

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LifeStyle

Business for Fun & Proﬁt

There are many choices to be made in setting up a LifeStyle business.

By: Steven J. Weil, PhD, EA www.nakedaccounting.com

Visit any LifeStyle club and you’ll see cross-promotions for travel and web sites. Stop in at one of the many LifeStyle conventions held across the country and you’ll ﬁnd a myriad of vendors. These vendors sell: adult toys, club wear, jewelry, travel, fetish wear, leather products, tattoos and everything else imaginable that can be related in any way to sex or the LifeStyle.

What makes lifestylers an attractive market? (Yeah I know, that was easy.) It’s the demographics. Look around at any club or event. Your fellow party goers are probably between 30 and 50 years old with above average disposable incomes. This is a group that thrives on conspicuous consumption and immediate gratiﬁcation. Luxury vehicles, designer clothes and frequent, often exotic vacations are common. Lifestylers don’t just know how to have fun, they’ve perfected it. When was the last time you saw unhappy people at a club or convention?

So is a LifeStyle business for you? You don’t just have to be in the “adult oriented” business to market to lifestylers. For example we know of both real estate and investment professionals that have found that the LifeStyle is the perfect place to look for new clients. Who better to ﬁnd your new home than a real estate professional who understands that an 8 person hot tub is a necessity, not a luxury?

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Business is business and LifeStyle businesses are no exception. Starting a LifeStyle business or expanding your current business to include LifeStyle clients may mean a loss of privacy. Your future customers want to do business with John Smith, not HotCouple7822. They expect to be able to get in touch with you. You are going to be revealing your phone number and a business address to them. Would you do business with someone operating out of a PO Box and a free Hotmail address? Even if you are just adding LifeStyle customers or clients to your current business, you may wish to set up a new business entity to separate these customers or clients from your other, more traditional clients or customers.

There are many choices to be made in setting up a LifeStyle business. Should you incorporate? Should you elect S corporate status? Would it be better to do business as a Limited Liability Company (LLC). Is a partnership or limited partnership right for you? Each of these choices affects your personal liability and your tax status. There is no right entity that ﬁts everyone’s needs. So how do you choose? It’s best to review your business plans and objectives along with your personal ﬁnancial and tax status with a competent accountant who will help you to understand the pros and cons of each choice. This will allow you to make the choice that best meets your needs and objectives. Then there’s the legal components. There are tax and liability matters to consider. For example, do you sell a

product, run a website, throw parties or do anything else that could result in some sort of legal trouble? You need to determine your liability and protect yourself. Your accountant and attorney need to know this is a LifeStyle business, so tell them up front to avoid any foreseeable problems later. In addition, what happens if your business does not make a proﬁt? Business losses are deductible but hobby losses are not. Setting up your business the right way can insure that you get all the tax beneﬁts of business ownership. If you have business losses you will be able to deduct them from your other income, which may reduce the taxes you pay. Always remember, as with any business, it’s important to keep your books and records in compliance with all federal, state and local tax laws and to file and pay all the correct taxes. There are people who want to limit your rights and control what you can and cannot do. Tax laws are powerful tools to effect results where the courts and law enforcement have been unable or unwilling. Remember that Al Capone never went to jail for murder, conspiracy or even bootlegging. He did go to jail for federal tax evasion. So be sure to

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file for federal and state income taxes, and to collect and remit any sales taxes due. Aside from it being the right thing to do, it makes you a good member of the business community. And you certainly don’t want to give any small minded, uptight, misguided activist any ammunition to use against you and your fellow LifeStyle business owners. As you can see, setting up a LifeStyle business isn’t just a matter of getting a product and a mail list. There are many things to consider. Reading this article is the first step. The next time you visit a club or convention take a few minutes and ask yourself a few questions. How many of my friends are here on tax deductible business? How many are expanding their current business? Could I do business in this environment? Then go have fun. That’s what we’re all here for anyway.

Steven J. Weil, PhD EA is a principal of Naked Accounting which specializes in accounting services for adult and LifeStyle Businesses. www.nakedaccounting.com.

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FabulouS FirStS immediate reaction was shock,” Mike says. “But shock, combined with the effects of a few hours of alcohol, probably kept people from walking out of the room. “We had agreed our witch would only invite Mike up to dance with her,” Andrea recalls. “That was the arrangement and we’d see where things went from there.” And so that’s what happened. At ﬁrst.

A Tale of

Tricks

& Treats!

By David Lawrence

“W LifeStyle Departments

“We were dating for eight months when it came time for Halloween,” says Andrea. “Mike and I decided that we’d throw a party for couples only, all good friends but none in the LifeStyle. At least none we knew about. As added entertainment, we thought it would be a fun surprise to invite an exotic dancer who would show up at midnight and do her thing for the crowd. Well, she sure showed – and she sure did her thing.” Here’s how it all went down... The guests arrived about 8 pm in a perfectly predictable Halloween assortment of costumed couples: there was a swashbuckling pirate and his damsel, a wildly silly cross-dressing duo, a pair of political spoofers, two grotesque monsters, and a couple of Q-tips with Andrea and Mike, humorously wardrobed as circus clowns. “Things were totally normal,” Mike says, “We were having an enjoyable time. The food was great. People were telling stories about past Halloweens they recalled as kids. We were dancing a bit, but nothing very alluring. “However, when the doorbell rang at midnight, the party really began. The most sexy witch imaginable swept into the room, humping her broom!”

Bewitched on the Wild Side “She really was a ‘bewitching’ beauty,” says Andrea. “She had a lacey black dress on; it was long but had slits up both legs. She had a cape over that, a wide black hat, and long black gloves. She carried a glowing jack-olantern with a fearsome face carved out. Her makeup wasn’t horrific, though. Instead, it was expertly applied for what would be an otherwise elegant evening. And her blond hair was thick and long, and contrasted gorgeously with the rest of her outfit. I couldn’t help but get caught up by her looks... costume and occasion aside.” The guests didn’t know what to make of the witch’s appearance at first. Some figured she was a late-arriving invitee. Some thought an over-grown trick or treater. Some just figured she was lost. No one expected what followed, even Andrea and Mike. The wondrous witch began to dance to the prearranged music she provided a week earlier as part of a pre-party meeting with the hosts. Amidst the circle of guests in the living room, as Andrea and Mike requested, she danced and bumped and ground away by herself, enjoying her own gyrations. “No doubt, the

When the doorbell rang at midnight, the party really began! 36

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“I couldn’t believe how turned on I got seeing her dance with my boyfriend,” Andrea says. “I wasn’t even registering others’ reactions as she began to take off her clothing and also started to strip Mike. I was just lost in my own erotic sensations, being a voyeur to what was turning into a live sex show. Then I joined in.” As Andrea and Mike report, their threesome frolicked and fondled to the music, partially undressed, while everyone sat glued, in full costume. After a few dances, the wondrous witch turned to the others and invited everyone to join in. And most did, surprisingly, though one couple did exit quietly. The beat went on. The group’s gyrations intensiﬁed, and pirates’ pants melded with monsters’ masks in corners of the room. “Our guests became very un-costumed,” Andrea laughs. “But not unhinged.”

introduction into swinging has continued ever since.

FabulouS FirStS

Things that Go Bump, and Grind, in the Night

“Mike and I talked for weeks afterwards, as a couple, and also with some of the others from our party,” she says. “I’m most happy to say we’ve stayed friends with everyone. No one got upset, even the couple who left early. They ﬁgured how things might evolve and just decided it wasn’t for them. In fact, they were curious about what actually occurred, and we told them over dinner with lots of laughs.” “I think the best result,” Mike summarizes, “is that Andrea and I really explored our feelings, actions, and reactions to the party. We both admitted how much we enjoyed it. And we soon took up our more serious efforts to enjoy the fun side of the LifeStyle on a regular basis.”

Mike says that it was his turn to be shocked as the witch and the women played on the dance ﬂoor, hugging each other, rubbing breasts, kissing. The men mostly watched while trying to join in the dancing. But after a while, the women became irresistible and the guys, cautiously, even “gentlemanly,” as Mike puts it, put their hands in, feeling their own partners, initially, but then getting bolder and reaching out for other women. The music continued, the witch heated things up by moving among the dancers, men and women. The action got wilder. “It didn’t become quite a full-blast orgy,” Mike says, “But we had some kind of very hot sexual scene going on, with varying degrees of heat.” As one of the guys later said, “I was in my own soft porn world; just exhilarated by how free I felt.” “The crowd got really turned on, more than we could have imagined,” Andrea says, “We had our own little lifestyle group.’’ And the festivities lasted until dawn. As for the aftermath, Mike and Andrea think that, for most of the couples, their Halloween trick and treat was a onetime burst of uninhibited bliss. But for one other couple and themselves, their impromptu and largely unintended Start Your Sexual Revolution

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Swinging and STDs Published By Dr. Ziggy

Colds, Flu & Bronchial Infections Urinary Track Infections (UTI) Yeast Infections Genital Herpes

There are strategies to prevent infections

Minimal Prevention Strategies

and reduce risks. These strategies still allow couples to enjoy erotic pleasure with others. We have listed three categories of strategies and we have named them “minimal, moderate & highest.” Each strategy provides a different level of protection. The “highest” strategy

mixed or matched depending on comfort levels.

Much attention has been to AIDS and HIV in the general public. This attention has often exaggerated the dangers from multiple heterosexual partners and specifically exaggerated the dangers from the swinging LifeStyle. We in the swinging community have correctly challenged the claim of high AIDS risk from unprotected heterosexual sex. However, we have probably erred by implying that swinging and sexual play with multiple partners is risk free. Intimate contact with others frequently spreads germs. There are disease risks in swinging. There are also strategies to reduce the risks. The highest disease risks (all of which we have seen at our couples’ massage events) are the following:

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1. Check your genitals, labia, penis and anus for

provides the most protection. Strategies can be

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cuts, sores or open wounds. Check your mouth, lips and tongue for sores. Do not participate in sexual play involving direct skin contact with open sores. Do not participate in sexual play when you have cold or ﬂu symptoms.

Check your spouse and sexual partners for sores. Do not participate in sexual play with a partner where there is direct skin contact with open sores.

Wash your hands and urinate after sexual play. Use this strategy before playing with a different or new partner. Drink plenty of water. There is evidence that urinating after sexual play reduces the risk of UTI.

4. Use lubricants particularly when playing with multiple partners. Avoid frequent hard or rough play. Both of these methods will reduce the risks of abrasions.

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Create a means to communicate to new partners your preference for condoms or other strategies. Therefore, in the heat of passion all participants would share in the responsibility to use such strategies.

Moderate Prevention Strategies 1.

Highest Prevention Strategies 1. Use latex shields when having oral sex. 2. Avoid intercourse and/or oral sex with multiple partners. 3.

Use male or female condoms with intercourse.

Use erotic massage as a substitute for oral sex or intercourse with multiple partners.

2. Limit intercourse and/or oral sex to

4. Use same room sex with your monogamous partner, watching

one set of multiple partners per day.

and being watched, as a substitute for oral sex or intercourse with multiple partners.

Choosing A Strategy That is Comfortable for You and Your Partner In all aspects of living there are risks. There are risks in driving your car to work. There is virtually no activity, particularly recreational activity, that is risk free. There are risks in downhill skiing, swimming in the ocean, playing golf and hiking in the woods. There are also great pleasures and great enjoyment gained from recreational activities. It is sensible that we evaluate recreational sex in the same way we evaluate other pleasurable activities. We cannot expect it to be risk free. However, we can minimize the risks. From our experience in the LifeStyle, here are the factors that allow us to take greater risks:

•

We can take greater risks when we have more information about our new sexual partners.

Genital Herpes Of the four highest risk infections, Genital Herpes raises the most fears and concerns. This is not because it is more dangerous. In fact, a severe bronchial infection or ﬂu infection is harder to treat and will likely result in more severe symptoms. Genital Herpes, however, raises more fears because it is contracted only through sexual play and therefore is more embarrassing.

•

Herpes type 2, or genital herpes, is a viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2). It is transmitted sexually, and typically causes blisters on the male and female genitals that rupture into painful red sores. Most people who have herpes ﬁnd that it recurs. While there are effective treatments, there is no cure.

•

This article was printed with permission from DrZiggy. The article is based on a presentation made by a professional couple in the health care ﬁeld.

•

We can take greater risks if we believe our new sexual partners can be long-term supportive friends. We can take greater risks when we as a couple have talked about it and are taking the risk jointly. We can take greater risks if we are gaining greater enjoyment.

•

We can take greater risks when we accept the possible need for medication or other treatment, just as one accepts the possible need for sunburn medication when vacationing at the beach.

Dr.Ziggy is a Clinical Sexologist and Social Psychologist that has conducted research in the Lifestyle for the last 10 years. His area of concentration is Sexual Behaviour and Sexual Motivation.

•

We can accept greater risks when we know we also have the option of accepting lower risks if we are uncomfortable. We are not locked into only the two options of monogamous sex and unprotected intercourse. We can develop a full menu of erotic pleasuring options depending on our sense of safety.

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LifeStyle Libations XXXmas 1 oz. Apple Schnapps 1 oz. Midori

Sex Nog 2 oz. Prepared Egg Nog 1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps

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RaspberryLovers 1 oz. Captain Morganâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rum 1 oz. Raspberry Liquer Coke to taste

Happy Screw Year 1 oz. Watermelon Schnapps (red) 1 oz. Vodka 1 oz. Cranberry Juice

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Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

Something for Everyone why things can get so hot. After all, a lot of sex doesn’t involve intercourse.”

The

Linda and her husband Ron have been soft swingers for six years. She’s also a licensed psychologist with an active family practice. Her professional take on soft swinging is that some LifeStyle couples don’t want to separate intimacy from sex. “It’s easier to set the rules and everyone can play because there’s something uninhibiting or non-threatening for everyone,”

Soft Side of Swinging Why bother? bother?... By David Lawrence

That’s not exactly the first thing you want to hear at a LifeStyle club. But that’s the joking response Joan and Bob got when they told another couple they were “soft swingers.” Before we probe further (forgive the pun) : “soft swinging” refers to the range of playful, sexual activities, other than exchanging partners for intercourse.

And quite a range it is! Soft swingers define themselves as people

Here’s Why Bother Joan and Bob love playing with others, on and off the dance floor, but want intercourse to be something they hold in reserve for their “one and only” special partner. It’s still all very pleasurable, they say, and really stimulates things when they get home. Joan is quick to add, “Except for that first encounter, everyone we’ve met in the LifeStyle has been completely understanding. “We’re up front about things, and we’ve never had a problem. People really respect our limits.”

a group of women engaged on the dance floor. I lose myself in the flow and sensuality of the moment.” “And I really love watching all that,” Jeff emphasizes.

soft swinging LifeStyle offers an intriguing chance to expand sexual experiences without getting into a realm of intimacy that might create hurdles.

Tracey and Mick have what they term, “a rich fantasy life.” Soft swinging only enhances their fantasies, they say. “We find ourselves having lots of sexy conversations with people at clubs,” Tracey says, “and then we talk about things, together, for the whole week

“We’re in the frame of mind that there are some things in the LifeStyle we’re comfortable about and some things we’re not,” Anna says. “There are boundaries we’re happy with, as individuals and as a couple. Defining those boundaries has been enlightening, especially

she says. “For example, anyone can be a voyeur without being rejected. And it’s great fun to be an exhibitionist or simply cop a feel without more intense interaction.

Sarah and Steve have a similar opinion when it comes to the intercourse/intimacy factor. As Steve says, “We talked about this a lot. To be honest, I brought it up first because I was craving sexual variety. So we talked. And talked. And then discovered there’s a lot we can do within the lifestyle that feels good, very good, even to orgasm. But without intercourse.”

who simply enjoy being voyeurs, or those who just like groping and gaping on the dance floor (and staying vertical!), or couples who say they’ll do most anything up to having intercourse with someone other than their date, partner or spouse.

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“We now have a small group of like-minded folks we’ve met at clubs and parties who feel the same,“ Sarah notes, “and we get together for soft core play several times during the year.” Anna and Jeff are a long-term married couple who enjoy spicing up their relationship with what they term, “harmless variety.” The best part of the lifestyle, they say, is watching each other, “do a whole lot of dirty dancing at a club with others on the dance floor.” “I love wearing sexy clothing,” Anna says, “and getting

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after we go. All that talk translates into some steamy nights at home.” “Soft swinging meets our needs for sexual exploration,” Mick says. “We’re okay to watch and play around with others in rooms. There’s no mystery about how and

“Soft swinging is also terrific for people just getting into the LifeStyle because you have can have lots of pleasure without taking lots of risk. And it doesn’t mean you’re going to end up going any further. Rubbing bodies on the dance floor without being serious can remain a lifetime pleasure. A side benefit is that you can tell non-LifeStyle people about your dirty dancing escapades – and don’t be surprised if you find yourselves very popular dinner guests!” In sum, Linda’s perspective seems to be typical of soft swingers: the

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since many couples never have conversations about their sexual desires, let alone try new things. “In short, this is a way we can have our cake and eat it, too. Or suck it! Oops, was that too nasty to print?”

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Newbies’ Guide to Swinging

I Can’t Can Do THAT! By Amy Rule

You’ve been married 10 years or more. You know your marriage is solid, but you’re looking for something to spice things up a bit. You’ve

played around with the idea of swinging, you’ve talked about it together, but you’ve never done anything. Why not?

One of the biggest reasons people who are interested in the LifeStyle hold back is that they feel they are not desirable enough. The housewife who could afford to lose 20 pounds. The husband whose only 6-pack is in the fridge. The BBW or BHM who never WAS beautiful or handsome by conventional deﬁnitions. I mean, just look at the ads for those tropical resorts. If you don’t have the ﬁgure for a bikini, don’t go, right?

Wrong! I am a 300 pound BBW, happily married to my college sweetheart for 18 years now. We’ve always had a sort of open arrangement to our marriage. But I noticed an annoying pattern. Many of our female friends were more than happy to fool around with him, but the guys all said “I could never fool around with Norman’s wife!” I was getting the short end of the stick.

We had heard about swinging, which seemed to be more couples oriented, which would solve my problem. But I was wary; I’ve been rejected all my life for being fat, why should this be any different? In fact, we saw some pretty people ads which only made my fears worse. Why should I set myself up for rejection?

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I’ve been rejected all my life for being fat; why should this be any different? Why should I set myself up for rejection? So for a long time we didn’t do anything. Finally about four years ago we did, and we’ve been very happy with the results.

comfortable. Don’t feel pressured, but maybe let yourself feel free to explore a side of you that you usually keep hidden.

What happened to change my mind? A couple of things. They all come down to the concept of self-conﬁdence. Before I could consider putting myself on the line like that, I had to have some reason to believe somebody would want me. So we looked for a club in our area and did some research. Where we live, there are several groups that have house parties or hotel parties on a semi-regular basis; actual permanent facilities aren’t that common. One particular group seemed interesting. They have a yahoo group website, and I liked the photo of the host couple. She was a very pretty 30-something with long curly hair. Most of all, she wasn’t skinny. Not as big as me, but nicely curvy. No way you could confuse her with a fashion model – she’s much prettier in my opinion. So we chatted with people on the group list, and signed up for the group’s Valentines party.

Many newcomers are shy, and a good host will try to draw them out, but sometimes they miss someone. There is usually a “social hour” before the fun starts. Use the time to chat with your fellow party goers, get to know them as people. Our hosts had an “icebreaker” at the end of the social hour where all the guys lined up opposite the girls and everybody introduced themselves to the person opposite them and hugged (or kissed or whatever they felt comfortable with). Then the guys shifted one position to the left and repeated until every girl had met every guy. It was a nice way to make at least initial contact with everybody and you could get an idea of who might be interested by how they reacted.

We knew going in that there would be at least one couple who wasn’t “perfect,” and they were the hosts. We met a variety of people that night and for the most part we were warmly welcomed. I have found swingers to be some of the most welcoming people I’ve ever associated with. The “beautiful people” ads are wrong; that’s not what swingers are about. Many of us have a different kind of beauty; I’ve never seen another group so willing to realize that. So what can you do to make your ﬁrst experience as memorable as mine? First of all, do your homework. If there’s a chat room where you can meet some people like we did, take advantage of it. If you’re afraid you won’t be welcomed because you’re too fat, too skinny, the wrong skin tone, too old, too young, then ask! If the club is worth associating with, they’ll make you feel welcome and try to ease your fears. If not, keep looking... there is another one around that will. When you go to the party, don’t be a wallﬂower. Wear something as sexy and daring as you can and still feel

If the club is worth associating with, they’ll make you feel welcome and try to ease your fears. If not, keep looking... there is another one around that will.

If your party or club has a “group room,” sometimes that can be a good place to start. A lot of times old friends will pair off early in a party, meeting people they’ve partied with before. A newcomer can feel a bit left out. But the group room isn’t about pairing off, and is a great place to just watch if you’re not ready to jump in yet. And who knows, you might just be inspired to join in! We started out watching, and when the group on the bed broke up to go get some food and drinks, Norman and I took over the now empty bed. Playing with your partner is familiar and comfortable; all you’ve added is the excitement that somebody might be watching. And sure enough, another couple came down and watched us for a while, then asked if they could join in. Norman still remembers the woman’s beautiful celtic butterfly tattoo! The four of us had a great time. The point is that most parties or clubs offer something for everyone. Relax, meet some new friends, have a good time, and maybe even join in the fun. Whatever you’re comfortable with. And next time, you’ll find you’re dressing sexier, getting more assertive when it comes to finding someone to play with, and generally having an even better time. Each positive experience builds your confidence. And there is nothing sexier than selfconfidence. We have made several good friends in the LifeStyle; they are some of the most accepting, fun-loving folks we’ve ever known. It’s not for everyone, but just maybe, it’s for you. See you at a party soon?

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LifeStyle Paradox:

Jealousy One of the Deadly Sins of Swinging!

Of all the questions I get via email every week, jealousy and self-esteem always seem to creep their way into the “email bag,” so I convinced Mike to let me do part one. It happens to everyone, but how you react and how you deal with these two issues in the LifeStyle may have an impact in your everyday life as well.

Jealousy can spoil an evening even in the plain vanilla world. It can be a wedge with a capital “J!” How do you get over jealousy? Does it ever go away? In most cases, I would say yes, if you have good communication and listening skills. In this LifeStyle, flirting is a big part of the prelude to swinging. It’s also a good indication that if a couple can’t handle the flirting part, what comes after will be even more difficult. If you, as a couple, or even if only one of you experience jealousy, this is what I want you to do. Keep in mind it doesn’t have to be right there at the club, but maybe on the way home or the next day. Sit down, take a good look at each other and then bare your feelings. Case in point, John and Mary, a married couple and in the LifeStyle for two years, came into contact one night with the green-eyed monster. It is very important for the person who is listening to their partner bare his or her feelings to really listen. One must never be afraid to tell their partner what is going on in his/her head. Mary told John that he seemed to be having more fun with Betty than with her all evening and that it made her feel uncomfortable. She told him she actually felt jealous. The response from some men would be to laugh and say, “honey, you’re imagining it,” or “honey, it’s all in your head.” MEN, if she can say it out loud, don’t laugh or make remarks like that, ever.

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Listen with respect, for this is the spouse that has elected to go to swing clubs with you and make your life more exciting along the way. Back to John; John, is very intuitive and does listen, and asked (keyword), what it was in particular that made her feel jealous. Mary told John that although she didn’t mind John dancing with Betty, she wanted him to save some dances for her. I know some of you are thinking this is petty and Mary should get over it, but I can tell you that the next time they go to a

decided to do and he said, “Mary is the most important person in my life and it does matter what she thinks,” so they made a pact. They make time, even at a swing club, for each other. Whether it’s a dance, or hanging out right after playing with another couple. Here’s the moral of the story: no one is more important than the person you come to the club with.

club, Mary will be less likely to want to “share” John. You say, it’s just a dance, or maybe it’s just a fuck, but in the end what Mary was telling John was that at some point during the evening she wanted to bond. I asked John what they

*Names have been changed to protect the couples. See you soon. Cori www.intimatecircles.com

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LifeStyle Magazine On Location

Couples Fest

Dallas Interlude Sexy Party Club at Platoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Repeat

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LifeStyle Club Reviews The Paradise Club North Eastern, Pennsylvania

Club Chameleon Phoenix, Arizona

It’s been a long, hot, grind to get through the week. The daily toil of earning a living in the desert has been more of a challenge than usual and all you can think about is grabbing your significant other and heading out for some sexy fun. Your mind wanders a little bit as you mentally run through the possibilities for the evening. Dinner, a few cocktails, then maybe some dancing, perhaps we ought to invite that couple we met online the other day. The phone call is made, the plans are set and before long you’re sitting in a restaurant with your new friends/ potential playmates and things are clicking and getting hot between the four of you. “So where do we go from here?” someone asks. The four of you look at each other and grin because you all know where you want to go. Club Chameleon. So off into the night you drive towards this oasis of sexual bliss in Phoenix, a little giddy with anticipation for what may lay ahead this evening. As you enter the building, the beat of the music the deejay is spinning captures your ears and your body absorbs the rhythm and made it your own. A new level of sexual confidence has come over you and you’re openly fondling your newly acquired playmates as you make your way to one of the many tables around the dance floor. The lights flashing from the dance floor and the subdued colors and lighting around the rest of the room are warm and inviting. From the large dance floor and state of the art sound system to the tastefully decorated theme rooms this is an upscale club that rivals many trendy nightclubs. Friday nights select single men can mingle with couples and party until the wee hours of the morning. Saturday nights it’s the Hottest Couples

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Only night on the planet. They have a dress code and they stick to it. True to its name, the club is always in a constant state of change. Room themes and other amenities are always getting a fresh look and being improved upon to enhance the Club Chameleon Experience for its members. The owners of the club, are constantly coming up with new and fun ideas to ensure that you have a memorable evening regardless of whether it’s your first or five-hundredth visit to their club. There’s a theme room to fit just about any taste, mood, fetish or group with more always in the planning stages. The club attracts a very diverse, predominantly upscale, clientele who come dressed to thrill and ready to party. The dance floor is usually packed with sexy people working themselves into an orgasmic frenzy before disappearing into one of the twelve private theme rooms to release some of that sexual energy. If you’re not much of a dancer or rhythmically challenged, as I am, just watching all of the sexy bodies move on the dance floor can satisfy most anyone’s voyeuristic tendencies. Before long you’ll find yourself in a private room of your own enjoying a passionate interlude. There used to be “Open Playrooms” at the club, but recent battles with the City of Phoenix has forced all of the clubs in this city to do away with them; at least for the moment. The clubs were forced out of their “Private, Members Only” status due to the passing and enactment of a recent ordinance. The new ordinance now categorizes swing clubs as “Live Sex Show Establishments.” Under the new ordinance what we all used to enjoy in an open playroom is now considered a public sex act and/or a live public exhibition even though it’s in a private club.

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Because of this new label for the clubs they can’t sell or serve alcohol so Club Chameleon doesn’t allow you to bring any in. This frustrates many people, especially those who come from other states who have BYOB laws allowing you to bring your own alcohol into a swing club, in spite of that fact the atmosphere in the club is always lively and sexually charged. Most people don’t notice the lack of or need for alcohol once they get there. The local clubs, obviously, aren’t happy with the ordinance changes and neither are the clubs members. Chameleon Club’s owners have been fighting a daily battle to change this ordinance. With some luck and support from the Swing Community locally and nationally they hope to have things back to the way it used to be as soon as possible. Even with the changes imposed on them by the city, this club rocks! I’ve lost count of the evenings I’ve spent on the dance floor body to body with the sexy partner of my choice getting sexually hotter by the moment and then retreating to a private room for some well deserved sexual relief. My list of “Friends with Benefits” has grown with each visit to this uniquely exciting club. It doesn’t matter whether you spend one night or the whole weekend at Club Chameleon. The memories it will bring to mind will make that Monday morning commute back into reality a far more pleasant experience. For info www.clubchameleon.com. Submitted by Alan & Wendi

As LifeStyle people, the worst experience one can have is to be miles from ones home in a new club, only to find you hate the place. Not only has one traveled all those miles to get there, but in most cases one has paid a substantial amount of money just to get through the door. Once inside, much to your horror, you find shabby surroundings and lousy food. Even worse yet, would be finding few if any people in the place at all. The people of LifeStyle Magazine and I have gotten together to review some of the newer and even some of the older clubs on the swingers scene. We will give you the good, the bad, and unfortunately the ugly of any club we visit, including some of our favorites. Now, both my wife and I are active LifeStyle people. We have been to several clubs in our local area, not to mention a few out of our area. The Paradise Club or PPSC is what we would call our home base. Yes, ladies and gentleman, Eastern Pennsylvania and the Pocono Mountains has a dirty little secret. Hidden away on a back road is a left turn onto a private road with carefully hidden motion sensors to announce one’s arrival. This road leads to what has to be the friendliest club the Pocono’s has to offer. Listen, if you just want the sex, just about any club would do, but The Paradise club offers more then that. The Club owners created a friendly, at-home atmosphere, which we noticed from the first minute we walked in the place. They offer the usual theme nights just like most other clubs, however there is a comfort we feel when we go to Paradise, that we rarely feel elsewhere. This is one of the few true couples-only clubs we have found in the area. As a rule there are no singles nights ever at Paradise. The owners take special care, and personally interview every new couple. When asked about the interview policy they will admit their intention

is to weed out the couples that, are not what they say they are. Husbands pressuring their wives into the lifestyle seems to be the most common of problems. The food is fabulous thanks to the co-owner who is also a perfect hostess. Home made breads and sinful desserts are the norm at the buffet. You can tell that she is the driving force behind the decor and immaculate condition of this two ﬂoored complex. The amenities that are offered at Paradise are all-inclusive in the admission and membership fees. Their full sized, heated pool, hot tub and dance ﬂoor are focal points where all gather to start the evening off. Comfortable conversation areas make the before and after moments, as well as the small game room which is located down stairs with the play rooms, in addition to the three staged group rooms, done in the Roman royal decor. Paradise has eight private rooms each, decorated to create some special mood, and all have music with volume controls. The management of The Paradise Club has been doing this for a long time, and the knowledge they have accumulated

over the years shows in the little thing they do, from the gardens on their deck, to the themed decor which they change regularly. Now, we are all aware of the fact that nobody is perfect, and I did say we would give you the good, the bad, and the ugly of every club we reviewed. Despite all of the good things about The Paradise Club it is not without flaws. The price of membership and the door charges seem high at first glance, but consider that the owners have a huge investment in their club and spend plenty running it. The one major flaw would be the air conditioning system; it does need improvement. I do love working up a good sweat at a LifeStyle club but there were summer nights at Paradise where I was sweating before I even got naked. Paradise is such a well run club, though, that it is just a matter of time before any problem they might run into is resolved. We are starting our own rating system using Kisses.We rate Paradise Club 4 Kisses (XXXX) out of 5. Smooches, Kitti and The Bear

“You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.” – Steve Martin “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” – Rodney Dangerﬁeld “Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.” – George Burns

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ALABAMA Close Encounters Mobile, AL Mobile, AL 601-928-7716 www.close-encounters-club.com host@close-encounters-club.com

ARIZONA Club Chameleon 3102 N. 29th Ave. Phoenix, AZ 85017 602-253-7052 www.clubchameleon.com mninphx@cox.net The Black Rose House Bullhead City, AZ 86442 928-763-2525 www.blackrosemaids.com blackrose@frontiernet.net

CALIFORNIA Anne’s Pleasher Party! PO Box 69 Newark, CA 94560 510-552-0515 www.imanne.com anne_n_victor@yahoo.com Arena Swing Club Bay Area Hayward, CA 94541 510-623-1354 www.ArenaSwingClub.com Info@ArenaSwingClub.com Babylon Club Van Nuys, CA 91406 760-861-5977 www.gotobabylon.com gotobabylon@email.com Barry and Shell’s Oakland, CA 94606 510-834-5808 www.barryandshells.com barrysandshells@earthlink.net

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BlueMoon Adult Socials PO Box 580754 Elk Grove, CA 95758 866-460-2583 www.bluemoonsocials.com info@bluemoonsocials.com CB’s San Diego, CA 92033 760-751-8703 www.clubcb.com info@clubcb.com Club Swingstock 1282 Stabler Lane, Suite 630-168 Yuba City, CA 95993 www.ClubSwingstock.com parties@clubswingstock.com Southern California Couples / Club WideWorld PO Box 5366 Buena Park, CA 90622 714-821-6117 www.clubwideworld.com info@clubwideworld.com Freedom Acres San Bernardino, CA 92412 909-887-8757 www.clubfa.com info@freedomacres.com LA Couples Los Angeles, CA 90021 213-489-2001 www.lacouples.com googie@lacouples.com La Villa 3517 E Street San Diego, CA 92102 (619) 231-9287 www.lavilla.com LaVillaSwingers@hotmail.com Options Socials PO Box 542 French Camp, CA 95231 209-941-2100 www.optionssocials.com optionssocials1@aol.com

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Paradise Social Club Long Beach, CA 90804 310-840-5223 or 562-427-4801 Paradiseclubs@cs.com Passion Play Tarzana, CA 91356 www.LAPassionPlay.com lapassionplay@aol.com PowerExchange Couples Nights 74 Otis Street San Francisco, CA 94010 415-487-9944 www.powerexchange.com powerexchange-greg@comcast.net Thad’s 3488 E St. San Diego, CA 92102 619-237-8849 www.thads.com thadsclub@hotmail.com The Velvet Swing Los Angeles, CA 90028 818 787 0842 www.velvetswing.net velvetswing@email.com The Fantasy Paradise PO Box 891865 Temecula, CA 92584 951-246-2879 www.thefantasyparadise.com kajswing@hotmail.com

COLORADO Encounters by XXXcouple PO Box 49746 Colorado Springs , CO 80949 719-291-4731 www.xxxcouple.com ss@xxxcouple.com Panache Event Productions PO Box 62399 Colorado Springs , CO 80962 www.panache-ep.com panache-ep@adelphia.net

Pikes Peak Playhouse PO Box 15431 Colorado Springs, CO 80935 719-579-8965 pikespeakplayhouse.com info@pikespeakplayhouse.com Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club (RMCSC) 1550 Larimer Street Box 113 Denver, CO 80202 720-363-7946 www.rmcsc.com rmcsc@rmcsc.com Scarlet Ranch 27835 Troublesome Gulch Rd. Evergreen, CO 80439 303-674-7026 www.scarletranch.com kendall@scarletranch.com Villa Privado Denver, CO 80223 303-935-5676 www.villaprivado.com host@villaprivado.com

CONNECTICUT B.A.S.I.C. 240 Sargent Dr. New Haven, CT O6511 203-430-1410 www.clubbasic2.com Clubbasic2@yahoo.com FlirtClub Couples Events at Club Ice 169 East Street New Haven, CT O6511 203-755-2321 www.ﬂirtclubusa.com ﬂirtclubusa@yahoo.com Leisure Time 355 Zion Street Hartford, CT O6106 860-951-6243 www.geocities.com/lesureclb/ leisureclb@aol.com

FLORIDA Amore Swingers Club PO Box 2283 Ormond Beach, FL 32175 386-255-1600 www.AmoreClubUSA.com Close Encounters Pensacola, FL Pensacola, FL 601-928-7716 www.close-encounters-club.com host@close-encounters-club.com No street address Club Eurotic / TBL 3090 Evans Ave Ft. Myers, FL 22912 www.clubeurotic.com clubeurotic@clubeurotic.com Club Destiny PO Box 5251 Destin, FL 32540 www.clubdestiny.us clubdestiny@aol.com Maggie’s Underground DeCapo Nightclub at Best Inn 1401 Atlantic Blvd. Neptune Beach, FL 32266 904-737-1736 www.undergroundjax.com undergroundjax@aol.com Miami Velvet 3901 NW 77th Ave. Miami, FL 33166 305-406-1604 www.miamivelvetswing.com luis@miamivelvetswing.com Plato’s Repeat 321 W Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale, FL 33311 954-523-9818 www.platos-repeat.com admin@platos-repeat.com

Pleasure Palace 8504 Adamo Dr. Tampa, FL 33619 813-663-9193 www.pleasurepalaceﬂorida.com info@pleasurepalaceﬂorida.com Sexy Party Club 321 W. Sunrise Blvd. Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309 954-887-0227 www.SexyPartyClub.com BlondeFlasher@aol.com Trapeze 3660 W. Commercial Blvd. Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309 954-730-8121 www.trapezeclub.com ft.lauderdale@trapezeclub.com Thegatheringplacesh 2020 Trenton South Springhill, FL 34606 352-666-7151 www.thegatheringplacesh.com thegatheringplacesh@yahoo.com West Central Coast Couples (WCCC) Social Club Tampa Bay Area PO Box 821 Elfers, FL 34680 727-389-4350 www.westcentralcoastcouples.com lmtandlady@westcentralcoastcouples.com

GEORGIA 2risque 4505 Commerce Drive Atlanta, GA 30336 404-696-2737 www.2risque.us admin@2risque.us Trapeze Club 4470 SW Commerce Drive Atlanta, GA 30336 404-699-0100 www.trapezeclub.com atlanta@trapezeclub.com

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ILLINOIS

IOWA

MARYLAND

MISSOURI

NEW HAMPSHIRE

NEW YORK

Couples Choice PO Box 2806 Country Club Hills, IL 60478 708-333-4860 www.coupleschoice.com ddentcc@aol.com

L’Sota PO Box 1075 Cedar Rapids, IA 52406 319-329-3306 www.lsota.com lsota@aol.com

The Private Affair PO Box 58 Port Deposit, MD 21904 410-378-8948 www.theprivateaffair.com theprivateaffair@aol.com

CSR PO Box 411010 St. Louis, MO 63141 636-940-0057 www.csr-stlouis.com staff@csr-stlouis.com

Club Europa S. New Hampshire, NH O3858 603-382-9539 EuropaDance1@aol.com

Bi Swinger Grand Central Station New York, NY 10163 www.BiSwinger.com events@BiSwinger.com

NEW JERSEY

Black Tie Discretions Binghamton, NY 13790 www.blacktiediscretions.com Blacktiediscretions@yahoo.com

Couples Playhouse In Paradise Naperville, IL 60565 630-983-5175 couplesplayhouse.com cplaywus@aol.com

Intimate Circles PO Box 8288 Bartlett, IL 60103 630-965-6942 www.intimatecircles.com IntimateCircles@msn.com

INDIANA

MASSACHUSETTS

Club Eden of Kansas City PO Box 6712 Leawood, KS 66206 816-920-3590 www.edenkc.com clubedenkc@aol.com

Couples & BiFemales at Toast Lounge 70 Somerville Ave. Union Square Somerville, MA 02151 617-623-9211 www.sexycouples.biz www.toastlounge.com Valeri32377@aol.com

Club Erotica KC 19460 W 159th Olathe, KS 66061 913-238-4339 www.cluberoticakc.com webmaster@cluberoticakc.com

Club Escapades RR 3 Box 349 Owensville, IN 47665 812-729-7597 reneet6055@yahoo.com

Kansas Fantasy Fulﬁllers Wichita, KS 67217 www.ksfantasy.com thefulton4@sbcglobal.net

Klub Layden Muncie, IN 47302 765-717-1043 www.klublayden.com klublayden@klublayden.com

LOUISIANA

Shenanigans PO Box 739 Noblesville, IN 46061 765-622-0103 www.shenanigans.net h7271@netdirect.net Topside Two PO Box 11629 Indianapolis, IN 46201 317-251-1717 www.topsideii.com Topside2@aol.com

KANSAS

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French Connection PO Box 2592 Covington, LA 70434 800-304-4493 www.frenchconx.com FrenchConx@aol.com The Lagniappe Chateau PO Box 40 Shreveport, LA 71067 318-208-2284 www.thelagniappechateau.com tonette@thelagniappechateau.com

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MICHIGAN Just A Swingin’ Traverse City, MI 49686 231-360-0419 tigerlilys28@yahoo.com

Natural Pines Resort RR2 Box 95 Memphis, MO 63555 660-328-6681 www.naturalpinesresort.com naturalpines@yahoo.com

NEBRASKA Downtown O 11305 Evans St. #2 Omaha, NE 68164 www.downtowno.com info@downtowno.com

Dilligas Saloon 1303 E Fourth St. Reno, NV 89512 775-322-8481 www.dilligassaloon.com dilligas@dilligassaloon.com

The Meeting Place PO Box 178 Decatur, MI 49045 269-657-4072 www.meetpl.com meetpl@comcast.net

The Red Rooster 5010 Steptoe Las Vegas, NV 89112 702-451-6661 www.vegasredrooster.com info@vegasredrooster.com

Close Encounters Gulfport, MS 393 Tegarden Gulfport, MS 601-928-7716 www.close-encounters-club.com host@close-encounters-club.com

Caligula’s Temple 12 South Indiana Ave Atlantic City, NJ O8401 609-345-4899 www.caligulacouplesclub.com dkt69@msn.com

Candlelight Associates 3 Locations (Batavia, Niagra Falls & Syracuse) PO Box 93181 Rochester, NY 14692 585-334-8785 www.candleassociates.com info@candleassociates.com

NEVADA

Motor City Socials Detroit, MI 48224 313-882-5194 www.motorcitysocials.com host@motorcitysocials.com

MISSISSIPPI

Beginnings PO Box 851- D Rahway, NJ 70650 732-388-9106 www.couples4u.com beginnings@couples4u.com

The Seamed Stocking 1604 Becke Circle Las Vegas, NV 89104 702-382-6244 www.theseamedstocking.com SeamedStockingLV@aol.com

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Carousel Swing Club 3030 Northern Blvd. Long Island, NY 11101 212-252-2138 www.CarouselClub.com CarouselCL@aol.com

Carolina Couples NC 2000 Brentwood St. High Point, NC 27263 336-655-8617 www.carolinacouplesnnc.com ccncparty@aol.com

Dayton Swim & Social Club 8235 Old Troy Pike PMB 103 Huber Heights, OH 45424 937-890-0833 www.daytonswimclub.com chris@daytonswimandsocialclub.com

Charldine Club International PO Box 4631 Schenectady, NY 12304 518-895-2372 www.charldine.com cci@charldine.com

Carolina Friends PO Box 561294 Charlotte, NC 28256 704-559-5951 www.carolinafriends.com mail@carolinafriends.com

Ebony Social Circle PO Box 27354 Cleveland, OH 44127 216-287-0337 www.ebonysocialclub.com webmaster@ebonysocialclub.com

Club Babylon 45 Kean Street West Babylon, NY 11704 LAVANDARE@aol.com

Magical Sinsations Greensboro, NC 27410 336-996-7927 www.magicalsinsations.com majicalsinsation@aol.com

Eros Connection Cleveland, OH 44113 216-453-4185 www.erosconnection.com info@erosconnection.com

Piedmont Socials King Mountain, NC 28086 704-713-1874 www.piedmontsocials.com piedmont@piedmontsocials.comNE

Ohio Couples Parties Newark OH 43055 hometown.aol.com/ prtyplanner4ohio/

Premium Events 31st Street Manhattan, NY www.PremiumEvents.com events@PremiumEvents.com Swap Meets Southern Tier, NY 13790 607-798-9196 cardinals13790@yahoo.com Niagara Connects 4025 Dorchester Rd. Suite 169 Niagara Falls, NY 14026 1-888-350-3049 www.niagaraconnects.com niagaraconnects2@aol.com

NORTH CAROLINA Beck’s Romance Motel 5401 Raeford Road Fayetteville, NC 28304 910-425-2108 becksmotel@mindspring.com Carolina Connections PO Box 5365 Charlotte, NC 28299 704-578-6291 www.carolinaconnectionsclub.com mood_50@msn.com

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OHIO Club 101 PO Box 159 Dayton, OH 45404 937-235-1010 www.club101.cc club101_dayton@yahoo.com Club 104 Columbus, OH 43207 614-444-3321 www.club-104.com info@club-104.com Club 440 440 East Dixie Dayton, OH 45449 937-847-0990 www.club440online.com cody@club440online.com

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Playtime Club 3200 East Pike Zanesville, OH 43701 740-404-2256 www.playtimeclub.com webmaster@playtimesocialclub.com The Cleveland Connection (T.C.C.) Northwest Ohio www.tccdance.com patticonn@adelphia.net

OREGON B C Club PO Box 2459 Hillsboro, OR 97123 503-740-0847 www.beavercreekclub.net tntjoy2@aol.com

PENNSYLVANIA

TENNESSEE

DJ’s Island 7280 Big Beaver Blvd Beaver Falls, PA 15010 412-519-8608 www.djsisland.com DjsPrivateclub@aol.com

Discretions 1488 Madison Ave. Memphis, TN 38103 901-496-0323 www.discretionsmemphis.com info@discretionsmemphis.com

The Farm Travel Club PO Box 7791 York, PA 17404 717-225-5082 www.thefarmtravelclub.com farm4fun@thefarmtravelclub.com

Menages 615 Seventh Ave. South Nashville, TN 37203 615-742-3705 www.menagesclub.com info@menagesclub.com

The Paradise Club ”PPSC” PO Box 411 Wind Gap, PA 18091 www.theparadiseclub.net jim@theparadiseclub.net

The Treehouse Club Memphis, TN 901-583-4747 www.memphistreehouseclub.com treehousememphis@yahoo.com

RHODE ISLAND

TEXAS

Live Oak Resort 9751 Lone Star Rd. Washington, TX 77880 936-878-2216 www.liveoakresort.com info@liveoakresort.com

Black Key Club, LLC PO Box 19141 Johnston, RI O2919 401-274-3700 www.blackkeyclub.com info@blackkeyclub.com

Allure 13800 Dragline Drive Suite B Austin, TX 78728 512-990-1777 www.allureaustin.com mandj@allureaustin.com

Quiet Encounters 14650 Montana Street El Paso, TX 79935 915-497-0297 www.quietencounters2.com quietencounter2@aol.com

Club Bacchus 2818 NE Loop 410 San Antonio, TX 78218 210-655-1097 www.bacchusnightclub.com webmaster@.bacchusnightclub.com

Radiance 2628 FM 1960 Houston , TX 77073 281-233-9889 www.radianceclub.com info@radianceclub.com

SOUTH CAROLINA Southern Socials PO Box 738 Ladson, SC 29456 843-797-7469 www.southernsocials.com sousocial1@aol.com Swing Friends Myrtle Beach, SC 29577 www.swingfriends.com swingfriends@aol.com

Country Pleasure Ranch Austin, TX 76571 countrypleasureranch@earthlink.net Iniquity 10821 Composite Drive Dallas, TX 75220 972-323-1100 www.iniquityclub.com rnt@iniquityclub.com Jet Set Club 3136 Routh St. Dallas, TX 75201 214-720-4475 www.jetsetclub.com jetsetclub@comcast.net

Club Inspiration PO Box 818 Weslaco, TX 78599 www.clubinspiration.com information@clubinspiration.com Club Wonderland PO Box 1181 Cleveland, TX 77328 281-432-2110 www.clubwonderland.com info@clubwonderland.com

The After Midnight Club 11050 S. Pipeline Road, Suite B Euless, TX 76040 817-355-8860 www.theaftermidnightclub.com

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The Lickerish Guild Austin, TX 78734 512-203-0180 www.lickerishguild.com alan@lickerishguild.com

VIRGINIA East Coast Couples / Hampton Roads Couples PO Box 7162 Hampton, VA 23666 757-873-7221 www.hrcouples.com hrc_afﬁliate@earthlink.net Southwest VA Socials Blacksburg, VA 23401 www.southwestvasocials.com cindy@southwestvasocials.com Virginia Friends 2357 Litchﬁeld Way Virginia Beach, VA 23456 vafriends69@hotmail.com

WASHINGTON

WEST VIRGINIA

Club Passions PO Box 29958 Bellingham, WA 98228 360-441-5709 www.clubpassionsnw.com clubpassions69@aol.com

Elkhorn Inn & Theatre PO Box 100 Elkman, WV 24829 304-862-2031 www.elkhorninnwv.com elisse@elkhorninnwvcom

Desert Delights PO Box 4506 Pasco, WA 99301 509-521-7834 desertdelights@hotmail.com Love Lounge Seattle PO Box 2355 Issaquah, WA 98027 425-642-8023 www.lovelounge.net lovelounge@lovelounge.net Northwest Xchange Club Seattle, WA 205-551-0171 www.NWXchange.com nwxchange@comcast.net

WISCONSIN Club 34 Amery, WI 54001 nw_club34@yahoo.com Club NCN - North PO Box 176 Merrillan, WI 54754 715-284-8390 www.clubncn.com NCNCampNorth@aol.com Wisconsin Playful Pleasures Lake Geneva, WI 53147 (877) 420-4290 www.wispleasures.com wispleasures@aol.com

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Send us your favorite shots, if published you will receive national recognition and a LifeStyle magazine hat. See: www.LifeStyleMagazine.com/photos 60

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LifeStyle Definitions AC/DC – Bi-Sexual Person(s) Arts – Fetishes B&D or BD – Bondage and Discipline Back Door – Anal Sex BBW – Big Beautiful Woman. Larger than average woman that is very beautiful regardless of size or weight. BDSM – Bondage-Discipline-SadoMasochism Bi or Bisexual – Someone that enjoys sex with both men and women. Bi-Curious – Someone that is curious, interested in or has had limited Bisexual experience. Bi-Sensual – One that enjoys touching/ fondling/watching both sexes, but not Oral/ Intercourse. Bondage – The practice of restraining a person(s) for sexual pleasure. Can Entertain – Someone that has a private location and is willing to invite others over. Can Travel – Someone that is willing to travel, generally beyond an hours drive. Clean – Diseases and Drug Free Convertible – Topless Couple – Two people, generally one male, one female. CPL – Couple Cunnilingus – Oral stimulation of the vagina/clitoris DD – Clean, disease and drug free.

Discipline – Spanking, bondage or similar practice intended to arouse sexual desire. DP – Double Penetration, simultaneous Vaginal and Anal. Entertain – Can Entertain Exhibitionism – Showing off in public, involving nudity. F – Female Fellation – Oral stimulation of the penis. Fetish – Sexual stimulation via non sexual acts or objects. Full Swap – A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to AND including intercourse. Gay – Homosexual, generally a male, but not always. GBM – Gay Black Man GWM – Gay White Male Heterosexual – One who enjoys and has sex with only the opposite sex. Homosexual – One who enjoys and has sex with only the same sex. Hung – One with a large penis HWP – Height/Weight Proportionate. Someone that is not overweight or underweight. ISO – In Search Of Lesbian – Gay women LTR – Long Term Relationship M – Male MBC – Married Black Couple Start Your Sexual Revolution

MBiC – Married Bi Couple Moresome – More than four. MWC – Married White Couple Off-Premise – A swing club or party where there are no designated locations for play. This may or may not exclude the activity from actually taking place. P/P – Photo/Phone S&M or SM – Sadism/Masochism Safe – Someone that is not at risk for becoming or causing a pregnancy. SBF – Single Black Female SBiF – Single Bi Female SBiM – Single Bi Male SBM – Single Black Male SGL – Single Sodomy – Usually Anal sex, possibly forced. Soft Swing/Swingers – A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to but not including intercourse. STD – Sexually Transmitted Disease. STR8 or STR or Straight – Straight, a Heterosexual person. Swap or Swapping – Two couples exchanging partners SWF – Single White Female SWM – Single White Male Versatile – Bisexual Voyeur or Voyeurism – One who enjoys watching. Water Sports – Urination involving sexual stimulation. www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

events and conventions 2005 january 05 January is LifeStyles Month at Hedonism II January 3-29, 2005 There’s no PRUDE SIDE this month! The entire resort is taken over by Lifestyle couples and singles! You have not experienced fun until you’ve been to Hedonism II in January. This sells out every year, so be sure to book early! www.astravelofﬂ.com

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Lifestyle Week At Hedo III Resort - Jamaica January 8-15, 2005 Escape winter for a week, at the hottest party ever! Experience the fabulous all-inclusive accommodations, unlimited premium drinks, land sports, water sports, beaches (one au natural), or relax in one of four Jacuzzis. Entertainment includes a circus workshop, late night discotheque, karaoke, live bands, performers, ﬂoor shows, and themed parties! www.toplesstravel.com

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february 05 Super Bowl Week at Maggie’s Underground Jacksonville, FL February 1-6, 2005 Maggie’s Underground is excited, and honored, to be hosting the only LifeStyle Nightclub Parties in Jacksonville for the Super Bowl 2005. Maggie and her staff will provide interesting and diverse entertainment to make the parties held during the Super Bowl week a memorable event. The Club is located inside the Best Inn on the beach in Neptune Beach, FL. www.undergroundjax.com

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Valentines Day Cruise February 12-17, 2005 Experience a “couples getaway”on this 5 day Valentine cruise aboard Carnival’s Ecstasy. This cruise departs out of Galviston, Texas and visits Cozumel and Playa Del Carmen, Mexico! Every couple will get a bottle of wine in their cabin and a $25.00 on board credit! www.astravelofﬂ.com

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Swingers in Paradise

Couples Encounters:

February 17-21, 2005 Picture yourself and 10 other couples in your own private Costa Rican Villa! This vacation includes all your meals, beverages, maid and personal driver! We can even provide you with a “ companion!” Airfare to Costa Rica is GREAT, even for February! Please contact Ann Marie for all the details! 407.880.3468

March 31-April 3 & April 8-11, 2005. Canada, 3 day 3 night all inclusive 4 star hotel takeover. Couples Encounters has been hosting erotic getaways twice a year and is in its ninth year. The most popular seminars, hottest themes, naughtiest games, live proffesional entertainment and a tantalizing array of foods throughout the weekend. Held in a remote location in the Canadian Rockies to provide you with the most private and comfortable atmosphere possible. 24 hour access to heated pool for continuous clothing optional pool party.

www.astravelofﬂ.com

February 27 - March 6, 2005 Experience the flavor and ambience of the beautiful Costa Atlantica, European style cruising at it’s finest. No detail has been overlooked to bring you the style and hospitality of Italy. On every Costa sailing, you will enjoy authentic Italian cuisine and the warm attentive crew will make you feel like one of the family. From the moment you board till the final night’s Bacchanal Parade and Toga Party, it will be an unforgettable week of enjoyment. www.trystmag.com

march 05

March 13-20, 2005 Make plans to attend the ultimate fantasy week at Hedo III. Monthly Couples Fantasies winners arrive at Hedo III to compete for the grand prize of over $25,000 in prizes. Couples Fantasies games and contests held every day with plenty of live entertainment every night! www.couplesfantasies.com

Conclave in Chicago! The Rites of Spring Celebration March 17-19, 2005 “Dance like nobody’s watching; Love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; Live like it’s heaven on earth.” Conclave has been around for a long, long time. We loved the intimacy of the weekend. When we knew that the person planning Conclave was retiring, we made plans to make sure Conclave didn’t retire, too. We know that Conclave is a Chicago based weekend, sponsored and planned by people in Chicago. Who better could understand what’s necessary for a party like this?

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may 05

april 05

Hedo-Fest ‘05 Marvelous Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball April 9, 2005 Sponsored by CandleLight Associates. Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler (Let the good times roll!) Join us poolside in the afternoon or at the Casino Niagara, then dance the night away and enjoy our hot hospitality suites. www.candleassociates.com

Couples Fantasies Week - Jamaica

April 20-26, 2005 Orange Springs, FL. Return to the tribe, to the days when we lived in extended family. Week-long experiment in conscious, intentional community. Plenty of time for both workshops, discussions and celebrations guided by love-supporting staff and time also to just relax and open-up. Love, warm fuzzies and fun, we experience possibilities of a polyfriendly world that works. www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com

E-mail: couplesencounters@hotmail.com

Sandi & Samantha’s Caribbean Cruise

www.conclavechicago.com

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World Polyamory Assoc. SE Conference: “Return To The Tribe”

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May 5-8, 2005 Experience Hedonism at Live Oak Resort. If you’ve never been to Hedonism in Jamaica, what better way to test the waters than at Live Oak Resort’s Hedo-Fest ‘05! Live Oak Resort’s annual Hedo-Fest was established to: Create a Hedo-event in Texas for Hedonism lovers to be wicked for a weekend without having to spend any airfare. Introduce the “virgin” hedonism couples to SuperClubs’ Hedonism III Resort, and to partake in the same activities you’d ﬁnd at Hedo III. LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER

Connection’s 3rd Annual Spring Break Weekend: Cleveland, Ohio,

www.liveoakresort.com

April 8-10, 2005 The Best Event in the Midwest! We hope you’ll join us in April for CONNECTION’s 3rd ANNUAL SPRING BREAK WEEKEND, as we TAKE OVER a large, deluxe hotel exclusively for the festivities! Our hotel is conveniently located, with easy access to major freeways and Cleveland’s international airport. Enjoy the freedom of our uninhibited atmosphere with old and new friends at this exciting, fun-ﬁlled weekend of nearly non-stop socializing, partying, dining and dancing in an elegant, secure, no-pressure environment. Fabulous theme dances, party suites, meals, seminars, entertainment, lifestyle boutique, deluxe accommodations, and much more – everything is included in our full package.

Playful Swingers at Desire Resort and Spa

www.connectiononline

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Do you have or know of an event or convention you would like to see listed, please contact us at 954.755.7338 or editorial@LifeStyleMagazine.com

May 14-19, 2005 A true LifeStyle resort, complete with “Play room!” Don’t miss this “couple’s only” getaway. Party with the HOTTEST couples on the net - Playful Swingers! Take advantage of the 5 night FREE promotion if booked and paid by February 28th. This resort is only 110 rooms and will sell out fast! www.astravelofﬂ.com

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Orlando Interlude May 19-22, 2005 Central Florida’s LifeStyle event. This Couples Only Convention is designed to bring like-minded couples together in an intimate experience. This year the convention will be an entire hotel sellout! 4 days and 3 nights of wild & crazy pool parties, erotic and sensual theme dances, informative & entertaining seminars, sensational hospitality suites and a fabulous Erotic Market. www.orlandointerlude.com

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COMING UP

March 2005 LifeStyle friendly nudist resorts Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t we all just get along?

Help Wanted LifeStyle Magazine is produced by swingers, for swingers. We are always looking for volunteers in

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editorial, photographic, artistic, and poetic submissions from our readers. If you are interested in contributing, contact us to discuss your project. Plus, let us know

How, where, when and why.

what you think about our new publication, there will be a letters to the editor section in the next issue. Remember, this is your magazine and you can help make

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it great. More information at: www.LifeStyleMagazine.com/submit

Finally, the deďŹ nitive answer.

Mutual Masterbation The other safe sex.

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