17 minute read
Who makes you smile and how do they do it?
Who makes you smile and how do they do it? Shout-Outs!
many important people in my life make me smile; some of them include my best friends.
i consider my best friends the people i can be completely myself around without feeling like im being judged, and they love me for who i am. We make each other laugh and do crazy things together.
my best friends make me a strong person, and i know they will help me and be by my side no matter what.
ALAINA BELzNER, DESERT MouNTAIN ‘10 seeing my best friend who doesnt live in the same city at the Jonas Brothers concert makes me smile! -EMMA MENDENHALL, RINCoN ‘10
Feeling super short makes me feel awesome and makes me smile, because i know that Paine, and Quinn could never beat me at hide-n-seek. ALExIS GoNzALEz, xAVIER’10 The girls on the lacrosse team always make me smile. We do what we want, and we,re all pretty beastly. in this picture, we are being beastly before homecoming. TAyLoR HEATH, HoRIzoN ‘11
Kendall Beas makes me smile because of her willingness to dress up in great costumes.” -NATALIE PyLMAN, ARCADIA ‘10
my girlfriend christa by giving me adorable looks and the greatest hugs! -JESS PFISTHNER, CHAPARRAL ‘11
my boyfriend makes me smile, i know it sounds very cliché, but honestly its true. every day is an adventure and we grow more and more together and i love it. every time he looks at me i cant help but smile knowing that he is mine.
AMBER HALE, PERRy ‘11
my wonderful boyfriend is always able to get a smile out of me. no matter what mood i m in, he always knows how to perk me up. Whether it be his silly faces, or the little grin he gets when he does something wrong. As soon as i hear his voice on the phone at night, a smile crosses my face and my day is complete. Who makes me smile is the people at Old navy, you know the mannequins? yeah! They are hilarious through their silent conversations! JEMILA WHITNER, ARIzoNA VIRTuAL ACADEMy ‘10
As far as things go, life and music make me smile and as far as people go, Jenna handley makes me smile, because all three things are amazing.
my BesT Friends constantly make me smile by all being unique and completely different. We always do really random things together, like running around town having photo shoots.
my sister can always make me smile! she is truly my best friend. DANI BuTKoWSKI, SuNRISE MouNTAIN ‘13
Winning the homecoming Powderpuff game makes us smile! seniors 2010!
-NICK DESANTIAGo, BRoPHy’10 AND LAuREN MuELLER, xAVIER ‘10
- MAyA SARIHAN, CHAPARRAL ‘12
my friends, because no matter how stressed out i get with school and everything else chaotic in my life, i know my friends will always be there to keep me focused, and they will love me no matter what.
-MoNIKA VINJE, NoTRE DAME ‘12 chiara scarcella makes me smile. shes so adorable and bubbly! Plus, shes an amazing role model and always inspires me to make good decisions and stay true to myself- no matter what.
JuLIE GREENWooD, CoRoNA ‘11
my friend, Justin Flores makes me smile when he hugs me. DARISS BEALE, NoRTH ‘10
my dog Bean makes me smile because no matter how fat she gets i will always lOve her! MAGGIE FITzSIMMoNS, CHAPARRAL ‘10
The people who make us smile are the cross country girls when they win the region meet!
-EMILIE TWILLING, SAGuARo ‘11 AND CARy RIDER, SAGuARo ‘12 i hAve never smiled sO BiG As When i meT my FAvOriTe BAnd, PArAchuTe. They Are ABsOluTely AmAzinG.-ANITA SHANNoN, CHAPARRAL ‘10
my hilarious friends and family because every day there are those little things in life that others dont really notice, but they do, they will make a little joke about it and that always makes me smile!
MADDIE GIANCoLA, xAVIER ‘12
mi amiga Alex makes me smile like no other! Although to many she may seem shy, when shes with me her inner wild child takes over, like when we snuck into a neighbors yard at night to be total creepers in costumes! VIVIAN PADILLA, ARCADIA ’10
my best friend emily, shes the one person i can count on to tell the truth, no matter what i ask her.
dancing with my chAndler uniTOWn family makes me smile! -MARINA HARDEN, DV’12 my friends because no matter what they say, even if it doesnt make sense, it always makes me laugh. -AMELIA DRuMM, xAVIER ‘13
Gina minechello, shes funny, smart, and always is herself! no matter what shes wearing! HANNA DuNN, SuNNySLoPE ‘10
sage, my Austrailian shepherd. she is always happy to see me, and if i feel sad i can always cuddle with her. she makes me feel safe! -CoLE BRACKNEy, HIGLEy ‘12
Next month: My family and me. Send submissions to mburgess@azteenmagazine.com
Relationship violence is more common than you think
Unless you were living under a rock, you couldn’t miss the news last year about the beatdown Rihanna took from her then-boyfriend, Chris Brown. Her battered face stared out from tabloid covers and the debate raged: Forgive him or boycott his music? The celebrity scandal shone a light on what is an all-too-common problem that crosses every socioeconomic, racial and geographic line and affects women and girls of all ages. Relationship abuse happens far more than most teenagers could ever imagine. In fact, look into the faces of your classmates as you walk through the halls today and remember this: research shows that 1 in 10 teenage girls is physically abused by her boyfriend, and females 16 to 24 experience the highest abuse rate of any age group. Sarah* and Janelle are sisters who attend the same Valley high school. Smart, athletic, popular and attractive, the sisters say they have supportive parents and were raised to feel good about themselves. And yet both were physically abused by boyfriends in the past. Perhaps even more astounding, both kept their abuse a secret from those closest to them. “I didn’t want my mom to be disappointed in me, and I felt stupid that I let it happen,” Sarah says. While her relationship with her abuser lasted less than three months, the effect he had on her psyche lingered much longer. “It took me a long time to feel worthy of being treated well.” Janelle’s abusive relationship was also short-lived but difficult to move past. Her then-boyfriend hit her only once, when they were in the middle of an argument. Though her family was just a few feet away, she didn’t say a word. “I don’t know why I didn’t say anything,” she says. “I can’t explain it.” Katie, a senior, was verbally abused by her long-term boyfriend. Unlike Sarah and Janelle’s boyfriends, Katie’s didn’t just lash out when he was frustrated or angry but instead manipulated her into doing things she didn’t want to do and made her feel guilty on a daily basis. “He made it seem like being with him was the only way to be happy, and I believed him,” she says. Still, Katie made an attempt to get away. “I stood up for myself,” she says, “but when I tried to break up with him the first time, he threatened to hurt himself. I knew he was just using emotional blackmail as a last resort to control me again, but he was so convincing, and the last thing I wanted was to feel guilty about him being really injured.” Julia’s boyfriend cheated on her and lied to her, and yet, she says, “I would feel guilty about confronting him about rumors I would hear. He would lie about being faithful to me, and made me feel like a horrible girlfriend for listening to what other people would tell me, even though most of the time it was true.” Julia’s relationship, like many high school relationships gone bad, began to control her life. “Our relationship distanced me from my friends, family and aspirations because it was so emotionally demanding. I realized that he was getting in the way of my dreams, and that even
though I had pushed them away, my friends and family will be there for me to fall back on when I need them most.” There are plenty of guys out there who would never, ever mistreat their girlfriends, either physically or emotionally. But what about those who, like Chris Brown, eventually have to own up to their actions? Parker* not only abused his partner but was abused by her in return.“Things got way out of hand” he says. “It would happen sometimes when we were mad at each other about something or one of us didn’t get our way – stuff as stupid as that.” Parker says he learned a lot from the situation that he was in, and grew up as a person because of it. “I have definitely become less abusive and I don’t put up with abuse from anyone else,” he says. “I learned so much from my past experience and found positives in it and moved on. It taught me so much: to be trustworthy, less judgmental and obviously less abusive.” Both Sarah and Janelle are in good relationships now with boyfriends who have never shown a hint of violence. And that, says Janelle, is how it will be from now on. “It was a wake-up call,” she says. “It made me realize that you never know who is capable of acting like that, and it made me very sure that I will never, ever let myself be disrespected like that again. No one should put up with that.”
– Emily Piskulick, Xavier ‘10
something that special
WHy DO SOMe reLATIONSHIPS last WHILe OTHerS tank?
walk down your school’s halls and eye every couple that walks by. “Wasn’t she just dating that one kid on the swim team? Didn’t he cheat on her with a blonde in the bathroom? I thought they broke up during fourth hour?” are probable questions that come to mind. Then you spot that one couple that’s been together for as long as you can remember.
How do they do it? How do some couples manage to defy the odds when most high school relationships fizzle out after a couple of months?
Arcadia senior Katie Lee will have been in a relationship with Stan Jakubczyk, a senior at Villa de Marie Academy, for two years this spring. She says that while the stereotypes that high school couples don’t last “is not a lie, but I think it’s a rare thing to come by. There are a lot of things that can strain high school relationships.”
Katie and Stan don’t claim to be immune from those strains. “We’ve had our bumpy times,” Stan says. “It’s usually just one of us doing something stupid or just not thinking. It can be very difficult at times – it’s not always a smooth ride. We have had our problems, but we work with each other to get through them.”
Paige Freese agrees. The Arcadia senior has been dating her boyfriend, Jordan Firman, for two years. She admits that “when we get in a fight, they’re kinda evil” but stresses that the two of them always “talk about our problems after we have both calmed down.” Jordan says that the duration of their relationship is due to keeping things in perspective. “Part of it is we agree on most things, and the little things we disagree on we can put to the side.”
Every couple is different, but those who have been together for a long time seem to offer a lot of the same advice: communicate, apologize, listen, accept imperfection, have fun together, and be honest. More than just always having a date to take to the dance, a long-term relationship can provide a sense of security and happiness to those who can make it work. The joys and experiences of not just hooking up with a stranger at some party, but rather being dedicated to just one person will make a couple grow intellectually as well as emotionally.
Katie offers three final bits of wisdom: “Talk on the phone every day, be honest and make sure you are best friends with them,” she says. “If you can really put their best interest in mind, then your relationship will be stronger on many different levels.”
offer their tips forrelationship success other long-termers
“We have both learned not to bottle our feelings up when we get mad at each other.” – Rebecca Ann Chiffelle, Arcadia ’12, has been dating Myles Kramer, Arcadia ’12, for nine months. He says: “usually what brings us together after a fight or argument is just spending time together. It’s easy to forgive by thinking about how much she really means to me.”
“If you are with the right person, the relationship never seems forced. Anything you do together is fun – things don’t have to be a big production all the time, and we are never, ever bored together. You have to compromise with each other and never take each other for granted. We care as much about each other’s happiness as we do about our own, we trust each other and we are really good for each other.” — Hillary Burgess, gilbert ’10, has been dating Matt Peterson, also gilbert ’10, for a year and a half.
“Even though you’re in a long-term relationship, make sure not to isolate yourself and make time for other people. It will make you appreciate the time you spend with your boyfriend/girlfriend that much more meaningful.” — Kayli Rosenberger, Notre Dame ‘10, has been in a relationship for a year and a half.
“love is a wonderful thing that can take hold of anyone at any time, but beware of placing all of your eggs into one basket. The key to a successful long-term relationship is achieving a balance between your significant other, friends, family and other activities.” — Sarah Miles, Horizon ’11, has been dating Jacob Penney for more than two and a half years.
“To make a relationship work, there needs to be a little understanding, be full of fresh and silly ideas, and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.” — Conner Treude, Horizon 11, has been dating valeria Berg for a year and a half. she says: “You need to be able to joke around and have fun together.”
“Every relationship is different, but for us the reason it works so well is because we are honest and we trust each other. for example, if we think someone else is attractive, we tell each other and make it into a joke instead of letting it become a big secret. Also, we are just interested in a lot of the same things. We do clubs together and we take some of the same classes. We do fight, but we never let the fights get out of proportion. like, we wouldn’t let a fight over him not buying me lunch last longer than like five minutes, whereas some couples dwell on stuff like that.” — Madison Levine, Saguaro ’11, has been dating Ian Herschberg for three years.
“do take it slow. If you rush into things, there’s a bigger chance you’ll be let down in the end. Always remember that the relationship is more important than any stupid arguments that may come up. do random acts that show you care, and always be open about what’s on your mind. don’t compare whoever you’re dating to someone else. Everyone has flaws, and instead of trying too hard to fix them, just realize what they are and make the best of it.” — Ruthie Berk, Desert Mountain ’11, has been in a relationship for eight months.
“don’t cheat. don’t lie. don’t get too jealous. do be understanding. do get to know everything you can about the person. do be honest.” — Christine Rohacz, Phoenix Country Day ‘12, has been in a relationship for 13 months.
Mama’s boys and Daddy’s girls? some teens struggle to stay close to their parents
for Mikayla Gallegos, the end of seventh period means the beginning of the weekend. To see the hottest new film of the week with her two best friends, to go on a date with the guy she’s had a crush on for months. As the minutes tick by, adrenaline begins to rush through her as she anticipates her plans. There’s just nothing in the world that could stop her now – well, except her parents. The Sunnyslope senior hasn’t told them anything about her plans.
Like Mikayla, many teenagers find it hard to be open with their parents. Kept busy with school, dating, friends and work, teens sometimes find themselves too preoccupied to do more than exchange a word or two in passing with Mom and Dad.
Mikayla says that when she was younger her relationship with her mom was great, but as she got older it all fizzled away. ”Every weekend we would go out to breakfast or lunch and I’d give her the 411 of the week,” she says. “But after my first year of high school, I had changed so much. With the type of friends, guys, even what I’d wanted to be. I just had no connection with my mom as I use to. It was just me and my friends from there on out, and when I got my license I was never home.”
Central senior Alicia Valenzuela doesn’t think that much openness with her parents is needed, and it’s certainly not wanted. “I believe that what I do in my social life is mine,” she says. “It’s best not to tell, simply because parents were our age at one point. So they must surely have an idea on what we’re doing.”
But not all students are quite so distant from their parents. Dysart senior Brianna Ocotillo explains that she has a very open relationship with her mother – in fact, it’s part of her daily schedule.
“I didn’t get my license until the end of my junior year, so unlike most of my friends, I’d end up waiting to get picked up by my mom,” she says. “At first, I’ll admit that I wasn’t up to it. I was so embarrassed that I had to wait with the younger kids. But after a while I got over it. I’d ask her how was her day, and she’d do the same. It had just become part of my everyday life, I had noticed that we have a stronger connection because of it and I‘m truly happy for that. I also know that if I tell my mom something, I can trust that it would just end up being between us and not half the school.”
Mary Lopez is the mom of a Sunnyslope student and says that she had to work hard to have a good relationship with her daughter. “I noticed when my daughter turned 15 that she started to slip away,” she says. “I don’t blame her for wanting to hang around her friends, but I missed her. By the second semester of her freshmen year she was slipping not just in her grades, but in her personality. I had found out that she had been stressing and losing weight, getting pale because she wasn’t eating properly; it was upsetting to me. I was upset with myself for not opening my eyes. Now that she’s a senior and healthy, I know that I can sleep at night and our relationship has never been better.”
– Bianca Armenta, Sunnyslope ’10, and Morgan Brewster, Sunrise Mountain ‘10
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