SWM January 2013 by Barbara McSpadden

january 2013

saving tips FROM I AM THAT LADY

sw inspire

SUSAN BERTRAND JO BETH DELLINGER MARY SORRENDINO get set!

SLED FOR RED

CEO HILARY DECESARE

ON EVERLOOP: ONLINE BEACON FOR CNY PARENTS w w w. s y r ac u s e wo m a n m ag . c o m

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

For patients who can’t have open heart surgery, TAVR is more than a procedure. It’s hope. For years, inoperable patients with aortic valve disease have had no other treatment options – until now. St. Joseph’s is proud to be the first and only Central New York hospital to provide hope in the form of the new Transcatheter Aortic Valve Replacement (TAVR) procedure – a less invasive alternative to open heart valve replacement surgery. To learn more, visit www.sjhsyr.org/TAVR, or call 315-703-2138.

301 Prospect Ave. Syracuse, NY www.sjhsyr.org/TAVR St. Joseph’s Resource Line (Physician & Program Information): 315-703-2138 Follow us on Facebook and Twitter: stjosephshealth

St. Joseph’s is sponsored by the Sisters of St. Francis. Franciscan Companies is a member of the St. Joseph’s Hospital Health Center system.

January ETC 7

PLATTER CHATTER 8

FASHION FORWARD 10 WISE WOMAN: ABIGAIL HENSON

SPECIAL FEATURE: ELLA BARBER DE LIMA

FABULOUS FINDS 16 HEALTHY WOMAN 18 FITNESS 20

WBOC LEADING WOMAN: SHEILA OSTROM

COVER STORY: HILARY DECESARE

FOR A GOOD CAUSE

DOLLARS AND SENSE 30

QUEEN OF ARTS 32

IN HER OWN WORDS

SPECIAL FEATURE: SLED FOR RED

SYRACUSE WOMEN INSPIRE 39 SPECIAL FEATURE: CNY LATINO

SYRACUSE WOMAN MAGAZINE EVENTS

CALENDAR OF EVENTS 45 SPECIAL FEATURE: ADOPTION

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Happy 2nd Year Anniversary

Syracuse Woman Magazine!

OUR TEAM...

Publishers

Kelly Breuer Barbara McSpadden

Editor-in-Chief

Barbara McSpadden

Editor

Farah F. Jadran

Letter from the editor

Creative DIRECTOR

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” -Dr. Seuss

graphic design

Kelly Breuer

Casey Jabbour Melissa Meritt

Photography Our thoughts exactly! We celebrate the “stand out” women in the pages of Central New York’s first award-winning magazine. We are now celebrating two years of publishing and always are saying that we will never run out of great stories because CNY is filled with women who “don’t fit in”. We love that!

Cindy Bell Kelly Kane Jussara Potter Raine Dufrane Willson Cummer AlterImage Photography

This Dr. Seuss quote stuck out to me especially since I heard one of our January “Syracuse Women Inspire” features speak at the 2012 Connections Conference in Oswego. Turn to page 40, to read more about how your business model may be comparable to that of a Dr. Seuss character. Also, this month marks a very important anniversary for another SWM inspiring woman. Susan Bertrand’s sister passed away 10 years ago, but her spirit is clearly living on as Susan helps grow Maureen’s Hope Foundation. Read Susan’s story on page 39. The strength vested in both Maureen and Susan is a beautiful quality.

Contributing Writers

This month’s cover woman has become a well-known part of the region, and for good reason. Hilary DeCesare is the CEO and co-founder of Everloop, a kid-friendly social media site. Everloop has a large population of investors, interest and support in Syracuse and also Buffalo and Rochester. She’s passionate about providing a positive form of social media for kids but also providing that important peace of mind parents want when their kids are online. Read about Hilary and Everloop on page 24 Of course, we can’t ignore that we are in fact in the new year and that means most of us are in “resolution mode”. With that said, we made sure to include several editorial pieces to help you get 2013 started on the right foot. If you turn to page 33, you’ll learn more about how you can save on everyday expenses from Lauren Greutman, also known as “That Lady”. Whether it’s a fitness or healthy lifestyle resolution or a financial resolution, we’ve got you covered, CNY! We know you’re busy so we want you to remember that each month’s issue, we will bring all the local women’s news, more inspiring stories, events and trends right to your fingertips. This way, you don’t have to wonder what’s going on in the world of women in CNY. We’ll make sure you don’t miss any of the great happenings right here in the community we’ve been happy to call home for the past two years. If you’re not already staying up-to-date with us online, visit www.syracusewomanmag. com to sign up for a free online subscription. Also, you can connect with us via social media: www.facebook.com/SyracuseWomanMagazine and @SyrWomanMag. Also, stay caught up with me for SWM exclusives on Twitter: @FarahJadran. CNY, here’s to 2013! Syracuse Woman Magazine has so many wonderful plans underway for our loyal readers and fans, and all the new ones to join in this year as we highlight and celebrate incredible women in this region.

Farah F. Jadran

ON OUR COVER… Photographer Cindy Bell, of Focus Studio, 900 N. Salina St., in Syracuse, shot our cover woman Hilary DeCesare, CEO and co founder of Everloop. Antonietta Moritz provided makeup and hairstyling. Find her on Facebook at Trucco.

Lynn Cuda Farah F. Jadran Jenna Schifferle Lauren Greutman Carolyn Janetti Alison Grimes Catherine Wilde Carmen E. Zafar

advertising Sales Renee Moonan Linda Jabbour

for advertising information:

Please contact Renee Moonan (315) 657-7690

Advertise with us...

Unlike any other publication in the Syracuse area, our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, home matters, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local Syracuse women. Ads are due on the 15th of the month prior to publication. The print magazines will be distributed locally in over 350 locations and will be in your inbox electronically by the middle of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Contact our home office 315.434.8889 2501 James Street, Suite 100 Syracuse, NY 13206 info@syracusewomanmag.com Download our media kit at www.syracusewomanmag.com The magazine is published 10 times a year by InnovateHER Media Group, llc. and Eagle Publications, 2501 James Street, Suite 100, Syracuse, NY 13206. Copyright © 2013 InnovateHER Media Group, llc. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publishers. Syracuse Woman Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of InnovateHER Media Group, llc. and will not be returned.

etc... january movies...

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1/18

CUSE PIT CREW CELEBRATES ONEYEAR ANNIVERSARY

Looking for a great way to win a fabulous weekend getaway or free tickets to sporting events? What about an opportunity to dance the night away for a really great cause? The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is hosting the 65 Roses Dinner Dance Feb. 9 at Traditions at the Links in East Syracuse.

Cuse Pit Crew will be hosting a one-year anniversary event from 6 to 9 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 18, at Attilio’s Restaurant in Syracuse. The event will cost $20 per person and will offer hors d’oeuvres and an open bar. There will also be a silent auction, raffles and Cuse Pit Crew merchandise available for sale.

This new and exciting event is black tie optional and will begin at 6 p.m. Many individuals, or “Roses,” who are making a difference with the Foundation will be honored for their passion and dedication. There will be dinner, drinks, dancing and live and silent auctions. Proceeds from the event will benefit research, education and care programs for cystic fibrosis and help further the mission.

Cuse Pit Crew operates under the Animal Alliance of Greater Syracuse and aims to “refuel the humananimal connection” in the area. They advocate for pit bulls and other misunderstood breeds through their community outreach and educational programs. Proceeds from the event will fund free community dog-training programs for low-income residents of Syracuse. They will also go toward providing resources such as books to students during their humane education workshops at local community centers and schools.

Los Angeles, 1949. Ruthless, Brooklyn-born mob king Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) runs the show, reaping the ill-gotten gains from the drugs, the guns, the prostitutes and every wire bet placed west of Chicago. It’s enough to intimidate even the bravest, street-hardened cop…for the small, secret crew of LAPD outsiders led by Sgt. John O’Mara (Josh Brolin) and Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling), who to try to tear Cohen’s world apart. Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) has a promising career as a New York City cop until the night he is involved in a controversial shooting. Stripped of his badge, but kept out of jail by New York’s popular Mayor (Russell Crowe), he re-makes himself as a private investigator. The mayor offers Billy $50,000 to investigate the First Lady’s (Catherine Zeta Jones) extra-marital activities.

After leaving his LAPD narcotics post following a bungled operation that left him wracked with remorse and regret, Sheriff Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger) moved out of Los Angeles and settled into a life fighting what little crime takes place in sleepy border town Sommerton Junction. But that peaceful existence is shattered when Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega), makes a deadly yet spectacular escape from an FBI prisoner convoy. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters takes place 15 years after the siblings’ incident at the gingerbread house. In this dark spin on the fairy tale, siblings Hansel and Gretel are a formidable team of bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the world.

1/25

65 ROSES DINNER DANCE

Cystic fibrosis is a chronic disease that affects the lungs and digestive system of about 70,000 people worldwide. The disease is life-threatening and inhibits enzymes from breaking down food. The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation is the leader in research and the pursuit of finding a cure. Come out and support the Foundation and “Wine, Dine and Dance Away Cystic Fibrosis.” For more information, visit their website at http://www.cff.org or visit their Facebook page.

For more information, please email cusepitcrew@ gmail.com or visit their website at www.cusepitcrew. org. You can also visit them on Facebook to learn more about purchasing tickets for this event.

::platter chatter 8

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

Art & fusion meet at

KOTO

BY farah f. jadran I PHOTOGRAPHY BY KELLY KANE We all know that the look and feel of a restaurant sets the mood before we even sit down to eat. You want fresh and clean décor with a welcoming staff to gather with your friends and family. One of the best ways to feel welcome and to have a true “family around the table” feel is to enjoy a hibachi style meal with one another. Hibachi or “teppanyaki” style cooking has become very popular because it allows for chef-guest interaction. It has become exceptionally popular at Syracuse’s Koto locations. “It’s unique because our chefs perform tricks and cook your food right before your eyes,” said Will Cheung, district manager of Koto Syracuse. “We serve sushi and Japanese cuisine but our main attraction is hibachi.” Will’s primary location opened on Erie Boulevard East in Syracuse a few years ago, and his second location (just off the Destiny USA Food Court) recently opened as well. “The timing was right and Syracuse is a great city with a lot of growth potential,” Will said. “The Erie [Boulevard] location provides traditional cuisine, while the Destiny location features more of a modern approach — fusion cuisine — it’s where we incorporate all different flavors and ingredients.” No matter which location you prefer, each one offers “high energy” hospitality to make your experience memorable. “We bring the kid out of everyone who comes into Koto,” Will said. “Guests have fun interacting with our chef and servers. Most people come and celebrate their birthdays and anniversaries with us.” Plus, if you’re not looking to sit down for lunch or dinner, Koto “has the best happy hour in town,” according to Will. The happy hour nights feature select sushi rolls for half-off and kitchen appetizers, house wine and draughts. “People like to rewind and relax; spend their time on great eats before going to work or after work.” But when you are choosing to sit down for a meal with family or friends, at Koto there’s much to look forward to. “Our sushi chefs have a passion for art and food. They have the creative mind and skill to transform sushi into edible art,” Will said. “Our signature sushi roll is the King Kong Roll. This is the most popular roll and sushi lovers and beginner sushi eaters love this combination of crispy shrimp tempura and cucumber topped with crabmeat and avocado, eel sauce and our homemade spicy mayo.” Will says the “customer’s favorite” dish would be the hibachi sirloin steak with scallop combo. “The result is succulent and cooked to perfection,” he said. The dinner comes with your choice of house salad or soup, a side of vegetables, two shrimp and your choice of a starch: fried rice, white rice, brown rice or noodles. Whether you’re in the mood to sit down to dinner or network with a new crowd, the Central New York community’s welcome to try out the fun atmosphere and fusion cuisine any time, at either location. Koto’s two locations are open seven days a week serving lunch and dinner. For more information on the private party room and also a tatami room for special occasions, contact Carmen at (315) 333-2276. For more information about hours and a full menu, visit www.KotoSyracuse.com.

::fashion forward

Unclutter Your Life…And Your Closet! By Joan E. Lincoln

“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” - A.A. Milne, creator of Winnie-the-Pooh

size changes can create a collection of garments that hold some positive and perhaps negative memories. The time is now to touch those pieces that will never fit again, purge the negative energy from your wardrobe, make dressing each day an exciting experience not frustrating. Simplify! Make a strategic move to remove the clutter from your life. Some of us have work to do from the inside out when we think about On Emotional Clutter: Our baggage of hopes, fears, and relationships. how to simplify our lives; others have to address the surroundings You’ve probably heard it a hundred times or more – if you want to in which we live. Inside our homes can be the most stimulating or reduce the stress in your life you need to simplify. This is much easier said than done, of course, and there is no shortage of experts who are draining of environments. happy to tell you exactly how to do it. On Physical Clutter: Are you hoarding something in your home? Did you know some people are born hoarders? They’re not lazy or stubbornly All of that advice and guidance can quickly become confusing and even attached to their possessions; they may actually be genetically pre- overwhelming – so much for simplifying your life! Emotional clutter disposed to live the life of a pack rat. The impact of possessions on comes in all shapes and sizes. someone’s ability to live comfortably plays a large role in differentiating Your ‘mess’ does not make you a bad person. Organizing is about hoarders from collectors. It’s not the number of possessions, or the creating an environment that helps you be your best. It is all about possessions themselves that differentiates hoarders from collectors but freeing up some space. We all collect “stuff” along the way - it is three cognitive and behavioral attributes – perception of value, ability inevitable. Eventually space runs out, though, and our stuff turns into to maintain functionality in living spaces, and expression of pride in clutter that has an impact on our lives – consciously or unconsciously. one’s possessions. Revamp Your Closet: Get rid of anything you haven’t worn in three Simplify your space by getting rid of one or two things each month that no longer make sense to keep. You’ll be surprised at just how refreshing years. The purging of clothing can be one of the most difficult but one it is to reclaim even a little bit of space. of the most rewarding processes to experience. I make it a rule that when I invest in new items for my wardrobe that the same number of Ring out the old. Invite in the new. As we say goodbye to one year, we unworn items need to be removed from my closet. Consign, donate can look forward to the hope and possibilities of another one. Every day holds the possibility of a miracle! and re-purpose will make the process more rewarding. Our collection of clothing and the components of our wardrobe can become staggering if we don’t keep it in control. Our style, lifestyle and

2013

EDITORIAL CALENDAR

January February THE HEART March WOMEN’S HISTORY April ENTREPRENEURS May HEALTH & WELLNESS June HOME & GARDEN July WINE & FOOD August EDUCATION September FASHION October THINK PINK November & December HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE NEW YEAR, NEW YOU

For A Limited Time Only TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS SPECIAL PRICING TODAY! DAVID TYLER I 315.434.8889 EXT. 315 I DTYLER@EAGLENEWSONLINE.COM WWW.SYRACUSEWOMANMAG.COM

::wise women

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We can help find a degree that fits your talents and goals.

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We can help with financial aid—finding it, applying for it, and making your degree affordable. We can help with academic support, including one-on-one advising, workshops and all the resources the University has to offer.

Call 315-443-9378. We’ll help you get started. Classes begin January 14.

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Rose Gold and Diamonds

Kenn Kushner Designs 186 Walton Street, Armory Square 475 -7510

Photo: Cindy Bell

n help .

::special feature 14

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

When we first moved to the Syracuse area two years ago, one of the many questions I asked myself was whether I would ever find a cup of coffee in my new hometown that I liked as much as in my old hometown. Namely the coffee I would purchase on my way to work each morning at a gas station-convenience store. A trivial dilemma, yes, but not for a coffee lover who needs one small cup o’ Joe to get going in her early morning hours. So, as we started to get used to our new home, I began sampling the different coffees available in this area and soon noticed that many diners and restaurants were serving something called Paul de Lima coffee, and I really liked it. When we just happened to stumble upon their outlet store and museum, located in Cicero, I liked it even more; here was a hometown product to be proud of, a great coffee at a great price, plus a store and little museum to boot! You may have already seen the Paul de Lima general offices and distribution center located on Morgan Road in Liverpool, but have you made the turn onto Pardee Road in Cicero? Heading north past Cracker Barrel, the Holiday Inn Express, Gander Mountain, Comfort Suites, and Clintons Ditch Cooperative Company, look for the huge white wind turbine and turn right into the Paul de Lima roasting and packaging plant that also houses a terrific store and museum. Now that I’m retired and much more frugal than when I was working full time, those early-morning coffee runs seem wasteful. I prefer to perk a small pot of coffee at home each day, and have found a way to save a little money (always a good thing) with Paul de Lima.You can purchase a 12-ounce bag of Paul de Lima high-quality coffee at their factory store for $5.97. But it’s not just about saving a little money. There is an interesting story behind this Syracuse phenomenon, that being an empire started by a woman in her kitchen, with a desire to serve a good cup of coffee to her friends. You can read all about it at their museum but to sum up, the Paul de Lima story began with a woman by the name of Ella Barber de Lima, Paul’s mother, who visited her in-laws in Brazil, returning home to Syracuse with a few bags of green coffee beans. Friends and family loved the taste and quite an idea grew out of that 1902 South American foray. At the urging of these friends, Ella began to roast coffee beans in her kitchen using bicycle power, and then bring the finished product to nearby Syracuse stores. By 1916 Paul, Ella’s oldest son, began a coffee company with his mother. The company was incorporated and word quickly spread; Teddy Roosevelt, for example, was said to have highly praised the quality of the coffee as he passed through Central New York. This became a family affair; Paul de Lima and his sister Marie remained active in the running of the company well into their 80s, even

as the actual leadership of the firm passed from one relative to another.

::Special feature

BY LYNN CUDA

In 1944 Paul de Lima’s oldest son, Paul W., joined the family company and probably would’ve gone on to lead it, had he not enlisted in the armed services and sadly been killed in combat during World War II. In 1945, Paul’s youngest son, David, signed on and he later became the president of Paul de Lima Coffee. Grandson Peter Miller joined the business in 1967 and it was he who was responsible for the building of the huge warehouse and distribution center in Rochester. Their territory was expanding but Syracuse was still at its core. By 1973, Grandson Paul de Lima, Jr., also signed on and helped bring the family business to a new peak of fame as an independent coffee roaster. By 1981, when the president of the company, David, died, Paul de Lima, Jr., became its CEO and Peter Miller the president. In Syracuse, the labor is divided between the two locations, the receiving, roasting, packaging, and processing plant in Cicero and the general offices and distribution center in Liverpool. Back to the store and museum, a favorite place of mine. The well-stocked store is neat and clean, and a great place to find a gift for a special occasion. With plenty of coffee and teas, of all varieties, you are sure to find something you’ll like. There are also the related gift items in vast supply: canisters, logo mugs and travel mugs, cookie mixes, coffee scoops, hot chocolate packets, stirrers and assorted “sweets” such as chocolatedipped graham crackers. You can buy a decorated themed basket of goodies, or fill a basket of your own. When you first enter the store, there is a granite-topped island offering visitors free samples of the coffees that are being highlighted that day, usually including one regular, one decaf, and one or two flavors. It’s always a good idea to try one before purchasing. For example, I learned that there is a tremendous taste difference, at least to me, between arabica and robusta coffees, with the latter having a much stronger and “woodier” flavor, like the espresso coffees in Europe. Off to the side of the store is the “cupping” room where you might see an employee (an official coffee taster) testing the quality of the coffee beans. Further down the hallway is the museum, which can accommodate around 55 people. Here, educational tours can be arranged for groups that might want to learn more about the growing, processing, and roasting of the beans, and they can even include a classroom session if scheduled beforehand. To set up a visit or for more information, call 457-3725, ext. 200. The Paul de Lima slogan is, as I learned at the store, “The best days begin with the best coffee,” and, happily, that coffee is a true Syracuse original. syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

::fab finds

fab

CREATIONS BY NELLA Nella Joseph has placed her passion in her own hands with her unique glassware. She has numerous styles, patterns and pictures she’s handpainted onto such glassware as wine and martini glasses, bowls, bottles, shakers and switch covers. Nella’s designs are always evolving so it’s key to always check on what’s new. Her work is sold in retail outlets such as The Wine House and Gallery 54, and also online. (315) 440.9197 WWW.CREATIONSBYNELLA.COM

THE CHANGING ROOM

Looking for new looks in the New Year? Try one, or two, at The Changing Room. The styles are unique and there are so many pieces to mix and match. Sometimes buying that one great fashion piece is what makes a wardrobe. Hats, purses, scarves, jewelry and clothing items are all in order, so make a “change” into something new for you or a friend. (315) 638.1955 I 25 SYRACUSE ST., BALDWINSVILLE

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

SALLYEANDER

::fab finds

Sallyeander started making soaps 28 years ago to create recipes that were less harsh than mainstream bath products and only pure and natural. The selection of products has grown out of a need to help those with specific problems. The soaps and cremes are hypoallergenic and still created with only edible ingredients so they can be safely used on newborns. (315) 343.0793 I MINETTO, NY I WWW.SALLYEANDER.COM

CHOCOLATE PIZZa COMPANY

Looking for unique, delicious and impressive gifts? Chocolate Towers, Gift Baskets, Super Combos and more make the perfect gift for someone’s birthday or special occasions. The Chocolate Pizza Company might just be the “new treat” you want featured at your next party, or even your wedding! (800) 280.9381 I MANLIUS & MARCELLUS LOCATIONS I WWW.CHOCOLATEPIZZA.COM

ALL THAT GLITTERS

If you’re looking for unique jewelry, it won’t be hard to find here. All That Glitters has many pieces that may very well be a conversation starter! Wrap-around bracelets are one way to make a fashion statement and what better way to make that statement than with something that sparkles! No matter what style you choose, your new look will be changed with a simple touch. All That Glitters show dates are available via email requests. PATRICIA KARRAT I (315) 317.8260 PATKARRAT44@GMAIL.COM

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

::healthy woman STORY & PHOTO BY CAROLYN JANNETTI

with the patients after they are seen by the surgeons.

The new year brings fresh and exciting news for Upstate University Hospital at Community General. A new state of the art Breast Care Center is to open on Jan. 17, 2013. It will be conveniently located directly across the hall from the Wellspring Breast Center on the first floor of the Physicians’ Office-Building South.

The Community General campus is ideal for such a center. There already is an extremely reputable imaging facility in place. Patients can take comfort in the fact that they never even need to enter the hospital. It is also set in a suburban location away from any hustle and bustle that might cause unneeded nervous tension.The tranquil environment is designed to calm anxiety in a relaxed waiting area offering plush bathrobes to wear instead of hospital gowns, and providing coffee and herbal teas. The facility has consultation rooms and features four exam rooms in addition to one procedure room equipped with ultrasound capabilities.

I was able to sit down with the center’s two exceptional breast surgeons, Dr Kristine Keeney and Dr. Mary Ellen Greco to talk about what the new center has to offer. The two doctors moved from a private practice affiliated with St. Joseph’s to work on breast care and surgery full time at the new facility. The new center is a place for asymptomatic patients, as well as people who might be experiencing pain or signs such as lumps, masses, or cysts. They provide initial diagnosis, surgery, and referrals. Other services include ultrasound guided and stereo-tactic biopsies, as well as balloon catheter radiation. “We also provide genetic screening for patients who, because of family history, might be more prone to have a breast disease,” Dr. Kenney says. The center has an extremely unique advantage that no other center in the area can claim. It is the only facility that does imaging and surgery in the same location. “We can take care of everything for the patient. This type of care takes the burden from the primary care doctors.” Timing is everything. Their goal is to provide top medical care in a timely fashion. “If a person calls for an appointment, we will see her within 48 hours,” says Kenney. The time delay is reduced to a matter of days instead of weeks, which improves efficiency and accessibility for the patients. This makes life easier for someone who might be coming from out of town and only has an allotted amount of time. Other specialists also are involved in the patient care process. A Nurse Navigator is on site to educate and support patients through cancer diagnosis. Under Dr. Greco and Dr. Keeney’s supervision, the center provides follow-ups

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

And the center is not just for women. Although the majority of the clientele are women, men can also suffer from breast pathology including breast cancer and the facility welcomes them as well. Leading mammography specialist, Katherine Willer, stresses how well the new group works together. “This is a team effort all the way. From the receptionist to the highly specialized doctors, we all work closely together for the patient to have the best experience possible. We are dedicated to give the best comprehensive treatment around.” The center also offers same day readings of online results. The center realizes the benefits and importance of a multidisciplinary approach to treating and diagnosing breast disease. Having a nationally accredited program for breast cancer (NAPBC) is critical in this regard. Because the new Breast Care Center is an NAPBC accredited program, it can provide services such as pathology, imaging, research, rehabilitation, plastic surgery consultation and treatment, a survivorship program, and much more all maintained in the same high level of vital care. Hours of operation for the Upstate Breast Care Center at Community are from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. For more information, visit www.upstate.edu/hospital/providers.

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syracuseWomanMag.com :: november 2012

BY CATHERINE WILDE

For those committed individuals who make New Year’s resolutions, sticking to them is sometimes quite the challenge, especially if it comes to a new routine that involves diet and exercise in an attempt to trim the tummy. After the holidays, the tempting treats that were too good to turn down are a distant memory, often only evident in the newly snug pants and nowtoo-tight tops that you put on after the days of indulgence have passed.

::fitness

In sticking to New Year’s resolutions, it is important to remember your goals and find a way to accommodate your new healthy lifestyle in your schedule in a way that is realistic to maintain. Sometimes it helps to let the experts “weigh in” — pun intended. Senior Program Director at the East Area YMCA, Jason Patti, says the Y offers ongoing fitness classes that also incorporate lifestyle discussions to help people stick to their commitments. Patti said people often burn themselves out because they go “gung-ho” about a plan to lose weight for the first few weeks of the new year. The YMCA offers a nutritionist and wellness coaches who ensure people do everything in moderation, the key to success. Once a new routine becomes part of one’s lifestyle, it is not a chore to stick to but rather just part of your everyday schedule. The “Move it to lose it” program is free to members and people can join anytime. There are also similar program offerings for teens and adolescents, with the goal of making exercise and fitness fun and part of one’s lifestyle, Patti said. Like with any lifestyle decision, the key is to make your change in habits the new normal. Make getting up early for a workout part of a daily routine so that it is something you will not want to miss. Or make family sit-down dinners and breakfasts become a routine in the household, encouraging healthy eating over on-the-go meals. Jessica DesRosiers, senior healthy living director at the Downtown YMCA, says the center offers a “Biggest Winner” program for people set on losing weight. The 12-week challenge helps participants lose weight in a supportive and competitive environment through weekly workouts and meetings with trainers. DesRosiers says the key to losing weight and sticking to a new regime is to find something you like to do. “If you don’t enjoy it you won’t do it. Find a program or class or exercise you like and stick with it,” DesRosiers said. Using a “buddy system” also works, she said. “If you know your friend is going to meet you at five o’clock for that Zumba class then you’re more apt to go,” she said. DesRosiers said the YMCA sees an increase in membership in the beginning of the year but there is about a seven-week window and then members drop off. She says to counter that, people can get involved in a wide variety of programs that are offered at the YMCA, whether it be the pool or family programs. For those who choose to undergo a fitness plan independent of a gym or other structured environment, the same tips can apply: find something you like to do and try to find a way to fit it into your schedule so that it becomes a regular routine. Try to set realistic goals so you don’t get discouraged. If you absolutely adore a chocolate dessert every now and then, just cut back on how often you indulge rather than eliminating them completely. And don’t let a weight loss or fitness goal stop you from enjoying the holidays! A sweet or two won’t hurt, since the key in all things is moderation. Catherine Wilde is a 30-something professional and regular Syracuse Woman Magazine contributor who competes in local triathlons and open swim competitions. She’s an avid runner, cyclist and swimmer.

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

::wboc’s leading woman

“When I hit 40, I decided I wanted to do something better with my life,” confessed Sheila Ohstrom. “I really had to do some soul searching to determine what it is I have a passion for.”

BY ALYSSA LAFARO I PHOTO BY CINDY BELL

After having worked for Agway, Lord & Taylor, MCI, a pharmaceuticals company, and BOCES as a part-time culinary instructor, she knew none of those were the profession she wanted to be in for the rest of her life. She spent time reflecting on the past, thinking about her time in college — less on her business management degree, and more on what was happening in her personal life at the time. “My mom was terminally ill when I was finishing up classes,” she admitted. “That time is what impacted me in the present.” Today, Sheila owns and operates Senior Home Care Solutions, which provides non-medical care to seniors in and around the greater Syracuse areas. “We do everything we can to keep someone in their own home,” she explained. “We cook, clean, fold laundry, run errands, drive, and scrape gutters — you name it, we do it.” And sometimes, Sheila and her employees simply go to client’s homes for company. “Companion care is something we specialize in. For a lot of these people it’s about social interaction, so we make sure they have someone to talk to as well.” Sheila first dipped her hand into the world of entrepreneurship in 2009, one of Women Business Opportunities Connections’ past presidents, Nicole Samolis, told her she should check out a meeting. “And I’ve been a member ever since,” admitted Sheila. For many, WBOC meetings are about gaining insight into both the working and personal lives of other female entrepreneurs. How do I start my own business and continue to raise my family? Where can I find an accountant? How do I survive my first year? Sheila got the answers to all of these questions here, but also something else — a base for her business. “WBOC helped me find my team,” she explained. “I found everyone from my lawyer to my accountant to my payroll company through attending WBOC meetings. I actually met some employees I ended up hiring through them, and even clients — people’s mothers, fathers, grandmothers. WBOC has been great for me on many different levels.” On top of all the wonderful ways WBOC has helped her, Sheila can’t get over the fact that attending meetings is not just about work and networking — it’s fun. “I think that’s why so many women do so much for it. It’s a place to obtain information, and gain friends.” Because of the impact WBOC has had on Sheila’s business and life, she wants to see it continue to grow and continue to offer great programming that female entrepreneurs really need. Eventually, she hopes she can do much more for the organization. Currently, however, she’s involved with an overload of organizations — the Fayetteville Senior Center, the Manlius Senior Center, the Fayetteville-Manlius Chamber of Commerce, and her church. She added: “I also go out and speak to different senior groups in assisted living facilities on different topics — safety in the home, 100 ways to reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s, and more. “After looking at all that I do and all the jobs I’ve had, it’s clear I’m a good multi-tasker,” she laughed, “so I know I’ll always find a way to fit in WBOC.” The WBOC is a local non-profit organization that has been providing support to women and access to innovative events and workshops for 20 years. Whether running our own business, working for an employer or launching a new endeavor, women are connected through their entrepreneurial mindset. Syracuse Woman Magazine is a WBOC signature sponsor that aims to promote a common mission. For information on how to become a member, visit www.wboconnection.org.

::cover story

We’re never going to know what each generation wants or likes in the realm of technology. In general, everyone has a tech toy they enjoy. Be it a Droid, a Mac Book, an iPhone or a Kindle, we all have our favorites and kids are no exception. With an ever-evolving world of technology and opportunities to interact online, there’s no way of telling what site a child might end up seeing. But maybe there is a way. This way of “ensuring” your peace of mind as a parent or guardian in this ever-changing technology evolution now has a leader, a name and a Web address ready for login. Meet Hilary DeCesare, a digital child and parenting expert, who also is the co-founder and CEO of Everloop. Everloop Three businesswomen founded Everloop: Hilary DeCesare, CEO; Kim Bruce, vice president of partnerships and Paige McCullough, vice president of content production. They were concerned that their kids were feeling pressured to lie about their ages and join social media sites intended for older users. They took action, and brought in a team of experts in technology, social networks, entertainment and children’s education. Together they developed a safer place for kids to create, collaborate, communicate and learn to navigate the sometimes-treacherous ins-andouts of the Internet. With powerful technology and safety controls, Everloop provides kids all the opportunities of the online experience without the dangers. Among the founders, Hilary shared her great passion for kid-friendly digital world with Syracuse Woman Magazine as Central New York is home to many Everloop investors. “We’re creating a platform that’s safe,” Hilary said. “We’re allowing kids to get involved in it and make it fun and make it relevant to them.” According to Hilary, the most important aspect of creating the “perfect and safe” digital world for youth is to always remember “you don’t know what kids want so don’t pretend that you do.” Because of this understanding, Hilary says Everloop keeps kids involved in the process of molding the social media site. This is a primary interest because kids are always changing their likes and interests. “One week they could be into a certain game and the next, it could be something else,” Hilary explained. Plus, “what they want” is also changing. For example, Hilary said Everloop recently created its version of picture sharing that would be comparable to Instagram; with safeguards in place for a younger audience. In addition to wanting picture-sharing abilities, the kids using Everloop wanted a way to upload and share videos. This picture and video sharing Everloop component also is equipped with “selective publishing,” Hilary said. This part (which might seem minute) was added with the idea of being able to share photos form a birthday party, a gathering that might not have included everyone in your “Loop.” Hilary says this simple selective publishing option makes the users mindful of not hurting anyone’s feelings or having anyone feel like they’re left out because they weren’t at the party too. “We’re not claiming as the executive team or the [Everloop] company that we are in the mind of kids,” Hilary said. “Rather, we allow them to have a voice. They share on posts with what they want us to do.”

Everloop has become the leading online social media site for kids and tweens to connect with friends, play games, discover new talents, create and have fun in a safer environment. Created specifically for kids, “loops” are the central features of the site. Loops are small communities centered around interests in such categories as music, sports, hobbies, movies, nature, story writing, photo sharing and more. Patent-pending technology allows kids to start loops of their own or join loops that match their interests and the breadth of content on Everloop supports development of core skills including creativity, collaboration and communication. Above all, safety is the top priority and Everloop employs the most comprehensive privacy protection and 24/7-moderation technology of any social networking site built for kids to guard young users against bullying, bad language and inappropriate sharing of information. Because kids and tweens are constantly trying new things and realizing new interests, Everloop has created a few avenues for them to facilitate this. They’re also breaking down barriers and dispelling a few misconceptions about the interests of young boys and girls, according to Hilary. The interests that Everloop creators are exploring also include educational interests such as math and reading. “[Everloop] has all of the technology to bring different things to the kids,” Hilary said. “Whether it’s reading or math, Everloop provides them with a platform they like” She added that using the e-Reader function has been just about equal among boy and girl users. Another way Everloop has focused on youth interests is by having professional sports teams such as the Buffalo Bills provide an avenue for interaction both online and in real life. Everloop found this partnership as a great way to engage boys and girls interested in sports. The collaboration bore a contest that encouraged kids to write a sportscast for a Bills’ game that would eventually be aired in the TV studio. “This is a perfect way for their virtual world to cross over to the real world.” The site also has gotten kids involved in community service. The recent implementation of the “Be the Change Challenge” encouraged kids to donate their time to create, change and give back to their communities. Everloop’s goal was to have the kids donate 1,000 hours of their time to others, and as of early December, the community pledged 701 hours. From picking up trash, to visiting people in the hospital to donating outgrown clothes and old toys, Everloop users have volunteered their efforts. One young volunteer offered to “take out the trash for my 85-yearold neighbor,” while another “will donate my time gathering socks for homeless.” Through Everloop, children are giving back. . Hilary says this way of engaging with the site’s users has been rewarding. “You engage by asking them and listening to them.” When sites or products read, “parent approved” for kids, Hilary says she immediately asks, “How do you know this is what your kids want or something they want to do?” Instead of guessing or pretending they know what kids like, Everloop invites the demographic to tell them. “We’re not claiming to have all the answers or to know everything,” she says. However, thanks to the site, Everloop sees what’s hot and what’s not according to the comments on pages. For example, if a new kids movie just premiered, Everloop would know immediately if it was successful or not, according to the reactions on the message threads. In a way, Hilary says Everloop is somewhat equipped to “let brands know what they’re doing wrong.”

::cover story

BY FARAH F. JADRAN I PHOTOGRAPHY BY CINDY BELL

::cover story 26

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

Hilary’s Tech Passion Grows “I’ve always been interested in technology. I love it and think it’s absolutely fantastic.”

Hilary became more and more passionate about the Everloop mission because she has three kids of her own — three kids who are in the prime stages of adolescent socialization. “Kids don’t learn about technology in school, they learn on their own.” Hilary says that Everloop’s goal to always provide a safe Web environment is crucial since kids are learning from one another and finding ways to browse whenever they can because it’s “the cool thing to do.” Hilary’s Web savvy kids include her twins Derek and Dani, 15, and Rosie, 11 (turning 12 this January). Derek is the gamer and Dani’s the queen of communication who loves to chat, text and talk. Then, young Rosie is in the “sweet stage” in which she’s still figuring things out, according to Hilary. Because each of her three kids has such different interests when it comes to social media apps, Hilary says it’s interesting to see how they each utilize Everloop. Having Derek, Dani and Rosie all using Everloop simultaneously has given Hilary the opportunity to view their online choices. What comments are they making? What games are they playing? What photos are they posting? “[Everloop] gives you a chance to parent,” Hilary said, and this is without coming off as invasive to kids’ growing desire to have privacy. “Ultimately it’s your decision,” she said. “You decide what you want them to be able to do. We’re not saying Everloop is the almighty, we’re just the tool.” Hilary says she has had great conversations with her kids about how to appropriately use social media. She spoke with her son Derek about how a personal page on a social media site such as Everloop is a representation of who he is as a person. In particular, they discussed how a photo on an Everloop user’s splash page can be a quick and simple way for others to make a judgment about that person. “Is that the first thing you want them to notice and know about you?” she asked. Something that might seem harmless, like a videogame’s cover design, can be seen as a negative, Hilary explained. “So I made my point and now he will think about it next time. Got my parenting tip in for the day!” What it comes down to is this: Kids are texting at least 100 times a day. There is no way any parent can track that, but there is a way to track their social media usage and still give them room to grow. “A lot of families have too many things going on right now and it’s scary to think you’re losing touch,” Hilary said. “You can’t keep kids off (social media) until they’re older.” She says that when she was young, parents that didn’t allow kids to watch TV didn’t win the battle. The kids would just go to a friend’s house and watch TV there. But today, there’s a new wave, or a new “loop” in this case. “With Everloop, you’re giving kids an introduction to technology with your approval.” Hilary says she can easily view her kids’ dashboards on Everloop and ask questions about kids they communicate with and have well-meaning discussions. “I’m giving them freedom, they’re not bullying [online] and I know what’s going on.” With 300,000 users and counting on www.everloop.com, kids are finding out what they like and how they want to communicate with their peers. They’re setting up custom loops with backgrounds, colors and stickers. It’s each child’s own unique homebase in cyberspace. Just like the homepage says, it’s just for kids, it’s safe; and there’s no grownups, no swearing and no bullying allowed.

::cover story

Technology is constantly evolving, and so are the ways younger generations view it, use it and want it. Hilary said this constant change is why some people fear technology advancement or don’t like it in general. “It’s not the death of all of us,” she says. “[Technology] advances us in so many ways.”

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This year, a community fundraiser (now in its second year) has been reinvented to benefit more than one Central New York organization. “All About the Animals” is set for 6 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 12, at East Syracuse Minoa High School and its goal is to spread awareness and benefit a few organizations all while providing a fun family event. Last year the charity basketball game was launched as a fundraiser for Helping Hounds Dog Rescue in DeWitt. Its creators, two ESM faculty members, Michael Ferris and Sean McGlynn and CNYCentral sports anchor Niko Tamurian, an ESM alumnus, have come together to make this basketball game even bigger. It will now benefit Helping Hounds Dog Rescue, the Shamrock Animal Fund and ESM’s Three Steps Forward program, a student run charitable organization that helps people in need, mainly in the ESM community.

::for a good cause

BY CARMEN E. ZAFAR

Coordinator of Three Steps Forward, McGlynn, says the program has provided both targeted and general assistance to ESM community organizations, families and individuals. The Jan.12 basketball game will be the beginning of this year’s campaign. McGlynn added that there will be a Three Steps Forward Walk at the ESM High School Spartan on May 19 with a “5000 Meters that Matter” theme. More details on this event will be released in a few months. The program has made donations to food pantries, children’s funds for families who have lost a loved one and the purchase of goods or services for students or families who do not have the means. “Additionally, we have also donated to charitable causes championed by other ESM student groups,” McGlynn said. “We have had tremendous support from the community, students, faculty, staff and administration at ESM.” Tamurian said the fundraising ideas started because of his appreciation for his alma mater and wanting to assist Helping Hounds as more than just a dog-walking volunteer. “Helping them [Helping Hounds] out with exposure and financial donations has been a goal of mine,” Tamurian said. “Also, what the Shamrock Animal Fund does for animals in Central New York is just phenomenal. Anything and everything I can do to help [Shamrock founders] Matt and Jamie Mulcahy in their mission, I will gladly do.” Tamurian says that a basketball (and now a volleyball game as well) is just something everyone can play and it’s entertaining. Mulcahy, CNYCentral news anchor and co-founder of the Shamrock Animal Fund says the organization is proud to be included in what has become an annual fundraising basketball game. “The community support for our efforts to help the animals in Central New York means so much,” Mulcahy said. “I am personally excited to be on the CNYCentral roster for the big game. Our station’s participation in fundraising basketball games dates back some 20 years.” He says he’s proud Tamurian has carried on this leadership tradition. Attendees, specifically those in the ESM district get to watch their favorite teachers take on some recognizable news personalities from CNYCentral as well as many important members of the CNY Central News Team. On-air roster members include Tamurian, Mulcahy, Peter Hall, Tom Eschen and there’s a possibility for more to be added before game day. Last year’s game ended in a tie (after Tamurian’s game-tying jump shot, he happened to mention) so the rematch is expected to be just as exciting. New, this year, Helping Hounds will have some dogs on site that are available for adoption. Tamurian says this event is a “great way to escape the blues of our CNY winters with some fun” while helping several community organizations. Entry to the event will be $3 and the concession stand will be open as well. Attendees are welcomed to make additional donations at the door if they so choose.

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

::dollars and sense

ALLISON G. HASLAM - Regional Vice President Primerica Financial Services ahaslam@primerica.com I (315) 200-1510 6319 Fly Road, Suite 105 I East Syracuse, NY It’s all about taking control in the new year! Taking control of your financial future is a step-by-step process of education, understanding, strategy and implementation. Work with a financial professional to complete a Financial Needs Analysis, which will help you to develop methods and systems: • Learn to manage your own financial future. • Pay yourself first – this should be set up to happen automatically so you don’t have to think about it. • Have a written plan to control and eliminate debt. • Protect yourself and your dependents with term life insurance. • Build ownership, freedom and fabulous career. MICHAEL J. TISDELL - Financial Consultant Benefit Consulting Group mtisdell@bcgcny.com I (315) 413-4491 5232 Witz Drive I North Syracuse, NY Here’s a New Year’s resolution that can help small business owners save money for their retirement: A 401(k) plan. Most New Year’s resolutions prove difficult to follow through on; establishing a 401(k) plan is not. Small business owners can easily set up a 401(k) plan, and jump-start their savings. In 2013, a small business owner can save up to $51,000 a year in a 401(k) tax-deferred ($17,500 in employee contributions and the rest via employer matching and/or profit sharing).

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

Employees will like and appreciate it too. According to an Employee Benefit Research Institute analysis of the 2010 Survey of Consumer Finances, individuals who have access to a retirement plan at work participate at a rate of 71.5 percent, while just 4.6 percent of individuals who do not have access to a plan save through IRAs. ‘Tis the season to start fresh and begin saving more for a relaxing retirement! LAUREN CROSSETT - Registered Representative MML Investors Services, LLC Member SIPC lcrossett@financialguide.com I (315) 449-3000 432 North Franklin St., Suite 50 I Syracuse NY As women, our instinct is to put the needs of others before our own. When it comes to planning for our financial well being, we never seem to find the time or guidance we need. The first step toward any orderly financial life is the decision to have one. Begin With The Things That Matter Most: Protecting your family. Making sure your family’s financial stability is rudimentarily protected every step of the way. Saving For College: Explore strategies that can make financing college education a reality for someone you love. Planning For Retirement: Look forward to your future with confidence by creating a retirement strategy you can live with. Leaving A Legacy: Take steps today to provide your family and loved ones with more than just memories.

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::queen of arts

W;t

By Margaret Edsen

A brilliant and brutally demanding professor (specializing in the life-and-death themes of John Donne’s Holy Sonnets) suddenly finds herself the subject of a cancer research study designed to save her from Ovarian Cancer. According to Margaret Edsen, it’s a play about love and knowledge. And it’s about a person who has built up a lot of skills during her life who finds herself in a new situation where those skills and those great capacities don’t serve her very well. So she has to disarm, and then she has to become a student. She has to become someone who learns new things. Edsen wanted her to be someone very powerful and I thought she could be a senator or a judge or a doctor even. But then I wanted her to be someone who was skilled in the use of words and skilled in the acquisition of knowledge but very inept and very clumsy in her relations with people on a more simple level. So the play is about simplicity and complications. See this production at the Red House: Half-price preview on Jan. 16. Regular dates: 8 p.m. Jan. 18; 2 p.m. Jan 19; 8 p.m. Jan. 24; 8 p.m. Jan. 26; 8 p.m. Jan. 30; 8 p.m. Feb 1; 2 p.m. Feb. 2. $25 public/$15 members. To purchase tickets, visit www.theredhouse.org.

Baltimore Waltz By Paula Vogel

The Baltimore Waltz follows a brother and sister who flee a frightening medical diagnosis by embarking on a fantastical trip across Europe. A third actor plays the quirky characters they encounter, including the Little Dutch Boy (at age 50) and Harry Lime, from the classic movie The Third Man. This is a play about processing grief. It’s about the love between brothers and sisters. “People who are grieving when they come to see the play, tell me that it’s a way to get in touch with their joy. And there’s a lot of joy in grief, there’s a lot of celebration to grief, there’s a lot of comedy in grief.” – Paul Vogel See this production at the Red House: Half-price preview on Jan. 17. Regular dates: 8 p.m. Jan. 19; 8 p.m. Jan 23; 8 p.m. Jan. 25; 2 p.m. Jan. 26; 8 p.m. Jan. 31; 8 p.m. Feb. 2. $25 public/$15 members. To purchase tickets, visit www.theredhouse.org.

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

::in her own words

BY LAUREN GREUTMAN

It’s a new year with new goals and many people set the goal to get out of debt or spend less money. Six years ago I was struggling and debt to the tune of $40,000 with no way out. Then my husband and I started thinking about how to cut down on the money we were spending. Now I am debt-free and wanting to share my tips with you on how I found my way to financial freedom. The first step to setting financial goals is figuring out where you are currently spending your money, and where you can cut back your spending. My husband and I sat down one night and took a look at our finances and realized that the main place that we could cut back our spending was on food. We were spending roughly $1,000 per month on groceries and eating out. We threw out a lot of food and also went out to eat a lot because we didn’t have a plan with the food that we bought. We knew that the first place that we could cut back our spending was at the grocery store, so I learned the art of meal planning and couponing. At my website, www.iamthatlady.com, I teach people daily how to save 50 percent or more off their grocery bills with a few simple steps: 1.) Shop based on what is on sale and pair coupons with those sale items. Don’t let the coupon dictate what you buy, only use it if you can find the matching item on sale. Many people fail at using coupons because of this one simple step, don’t use a coupon just because you have it. 2.) Make a meal plan around the sale items and those items that you can get for free or cheap with coupons. Avoid single ingredient shopping trips; you spend an extra $1.75 for every extra minute to spend in the grocery store. Shop once per week, and go in prepared so you spend less money. Have a plan for the food that you purchase — making a meal plan is crucial!

3.) Set a budget and shop with cash. By shopping with cash you avoid overspending and buy healthier foods. By following those three simple tips, you can save almost 50 percent off your grocery bill every week. Once I decided to follow these steps in the grocery store, my spending at other places started coming into control as well. Couponing helped me learn how to prioritize my spending and helped me spend less money in all areas of my life. Another area that people set goals for is to become debt-free. I have been through this journey and it was challenging, but also rewarding! It all starts with a budget and patience. It takes 21 days to develop or change a habit; so changing your money spending habits is going to take a few weeks. The first step I would recommend is to look at the past three months of your spending, and then figure out what items you can do without. My husband and I have gone without cable for six years, we drive older model cars so we don’t have to have car payments, and we only have cell phones. After you have figured out how much you have been spending and where to cut back, put together a budget of what you can spend weekly. Take that money out of your bank account as cash and only use cash for 21 days, this will help you visualize where you money is going and help you keep your budget and develop that habit or knowing where you money is going. At the end of the day a goal is just a goal until you put some effort into it, and by changing just a few things in your daily life you can start to take control of your finances again. Be patient with yourself because couponing and budgeting can be hard work, but the results are totally worth it! Lauren Greutman is the owner of THAT Lady Media LLC. Visit her site, www.iamthatlady.com and follow her online: www.facebook.com/ iamthatlady; @iamthatlady.

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

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::special feature BY FARAH F. JADRAN I PHOTOGRAPHY BY JUSSARA POTTER

Before you throw away the box the new office printer came in, consider this: A sleek purple racing stripe down the side of it after it’s been wrapped in numerous strips of all white electrical tape. A steering wheel made out of more cardboard and tape along with a sidecar you fashioned out of a computer monitor’s old box. Now, the wind is breezing over you and the snow on the slopes of the Four Seasons Golf & Ski Center is blinding you through your race goggles. That’s right, you’ve got the vision – now go build it. You’ve got until Feb. 9! I can tell you’re either intrigued or maybe you’re already well immersed in your own sled building mission. Either way, that’s the goal AIDS Community Resources in Syracuse aims to reach. ACR is a notfor-profit, community-based organization providing prevention, education and support services to those infected with and affected by HIV/AIDS in the Central, Northern, and Mohawk Valley regions of New York state. Within its mission to raise awareness, Sled For RED is yet another opportunity to reach families and help commence conversations about safe sex, AIDS or other tough topics. First and foremost, ACR Development Director Carrie Large says the event is “focused on fun” because of its live music, food and even some wine and beer tastings for the adults. “We think it’s a fun way to embrace the snow we have and we all love,” Carrie said. “It’s a family event for everyone.”

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

Carrie added that because many registered teams are companies, the team-building aspect is a bonus. Both local and chain businesses, family teams and even some one-man bands will come together Saturday, Feb. 9, to compete for many different Sled For RED awards, bragging rights and badges of honor. As you and your team make your way to the top of the hill, you’ll see signs with stats about AIDS and throughout the community tent area. ACR Development Associate Jacki Coe says the messages are there as conversation starters. Plus, there will be a few short speeches made at the event to let everybody know what they’re supporting and why it’s important to the community. “While these families are building their sleds it could very well open the door to start a conversation about making healthy decisions,” Jacki said. And with this somewhat mild Central New York winter, snow or no snow, Four Seasons Golf & Ski Center will ensure there’s plenty of it on the ground come race day! Also, if you’ve attended in years past, you may have sought cover in the heated community tent. Do not fear, the tent isn’t going anywhere! But Carrie and Jacki mentioned it will be “even warmer this year” in the tent. This might be the best place to be while you think winning thoughts for your team. Past Sleds of Honor

On the day of the Sled For RED photo shoot, we were in the presence of royalty.

For two years running, the Ben Rabin Law Firm sled claimed the award for “Most Creative” and it also won for being the “Fastest Sled” in its debut race back in 2011. Ben said the “fast year” was won with the team’s version of a Pro Street V Rod sled. The 2012 model was that of a Dodge Dualy Diesel – all very technical terms. Also, Ben mentioned that the sled did not win as the fastest last year because it was “extra” creative.

readers know that Carrie [Large] has a mission of redemption for 2013. Last year, the “Livin’ Large” sled won a different, less auspicious, award: slowest sled. Before John and Ben headed out, John noticed a small piece of cardboard in Jacki’s waste bin. He had one last tip for her: “Better save that cardboard, you’re gonna need it!”

::special feature

Christina Hodges, John Hodges and Ben Rabin (of the Rabin Law Firm) were all in attendance to show off their efforts from Sled For RED competitions past. The crew is of a unique breed as it consists of many friends with many talents. In addition to those featured in our photo shoot, William Long, Bob Danquer, Joe Cannon and Todd Foster (who donated the much-needed cardboard), were all a part of the team. Also, we should mention that it was in fact Christina’s generosity that allowed the crew to set up camp in the Hodges’ living room for sled assembly.

For sled assembly rules and restrictions and for more information on entering your sled into the big race, visit www.aidscommunityresources.com/content. cfm/EventsNews/sled-2013. After the derby, enjoy a fun-filled night of winter tubing at a great discounted price of $10.

And this year’s sled? “There might be lights, there might be smoke…,” said John Hodges. “But this year the caliber will be that of a helicopter entrance.” (Insert some nerves and anxiety here for the grounds crew at Four Seasons!) Why does Ben and the crew keep coming back to Sled For RED? “John told me to, because Jacki [Coe] told him to tell me,” Ben said jokingly, but on a more serious note, he said, “Christina told John about it and then he got me excited about it. We had a couple guys get together and we got the creative juices flowing. It’s a fun way to support the community.” Also, because ACR is such a strong part of Central New York, Ben said he feels that fundraising with the sled race is his chance to help give back to the community too. This is something he felt he hasn’t been able to do since he was a public defender. Finally, while this is a fundraiser and an event to raise awareness for a cause, we must mention that there was indeed some “trash talking” happening throughout the interview. Also, now is a good time to let our

Sled For Red In A Bottle Thanks to Lakeland Winery, this year’s event will not only have a wine tasting but it will have a signature wine all to itself. Sled For RED is a blend of Lakeland’s Diamond In The Rough and Pinot Noir. Christina Hodges, Lakeland marketing manager and event coordinator, says this is the winery’s way of giving back. “We’re paying attention to the community,” she said. “And I have kids of my own. I like that ACR is educating the community and helping start a conversation.”

Are You A Daredevil?

Form a team (no more than 5 members); craft a homemade sled (cardboard, tape and paint only); fundraise $250 or more to compete in the third annual cardboard sledding derby. Each team member receives free snow tubing and free food, beer and wine sampling.

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

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syracuse women

SUSAN BERTRAND

Founder, Maureen’s Hope Foundation BY JENNA SCHIFFERLE I PHOTO BY KELLY KANE

Though Jan. 19 will mark 10 years since her sister passed away, Susan Bertrand can still remember Maureen’s sense of humor. Maureen was strong-willed and charismatic with few regrets in life. She took everything in stride and was constantly making Susan laugh. The sisters were lifelong friends. But on June 5, 2001, that laughter quieted when their lives took an unexpected turn. Maureen was diagnosed with clear cell adenocarcinoma , a form of cervical cancer. She was pregnant, and the baby would not survive treatment. That didn’t stop Maureen from fighting until the very end. Toward the end of Maureen’s battle, Susan and her family organized a benefit for Maureen to help cover her medical costs. It raised a significant amount of money, but Maureen passed away a few weeks before the benefit was held. Susan and her family contemplated what to do. They finally decided to take the money and give it back to the community. They used the money to help build a playground for Ronald McDonald House, and Susan decided to make baskets. She filled each basket with small tokens such as lip balm and soft blankets — things that helped Maureen during her struggle. She then made them available to people who were struggling with cancer. She was inspired by the small difference she made with these baskets and during her grieving process, she sought a way to honor Maureen. She decided to take her efforts and turn them into a non-profit organization called Maureen’s Hope. Because of the name, people often make the mistake of calling Susan by her sister’s name. It doesn’t upset her by any means, because it’s a beautiful way to remember her sister, Susan said. The foundation has evolved since its creation and now has several major programs for cancer patients and their families. The baskets they make are meant to inspire and promote healing, and each one is made specifically for the recipient. “I put my heart and soul into each basket. I try to make them all special,” Susan said. In addition to the baskets, Maureen’s Hope sponsors the Beads of Courage program for children who are going through cancer treatments. Each child who signs up for the program receives a string of beads that spells out his or her name. After each treatment or procedure, the health care provider gives another bead to add to the string. This promotes perseverance and gives each child something to strive for during their difficult times. The foundation also gives You and Me Bears to children at hospitals so that they can share them with family and friends when they are apart. Susan’s work gives her a way to honor the memory of her sister, while helping other people who are going through similar experiences. In 2010, Susan decided to go one step further and signed up for the Livestrong Challenge in Philadelphia, a 100mile bike race. She had always been a devoted cyclist and thought that this would be the perfect way to combine her passion for raising money for cancer research with cycling. (continued on page 42)

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

::sw inspire

“ I have been very, very lucky in my life.”” JO BETH DELLINGER President, Artist Pianos, Ltd.

BY ALYSSA LAFARO I PHOTO BY JUSSARA POTTER

“I’m a real nerd,” admitted Jo Beth Dellinger. The owner of two Artist Pianos stores — one in Syracuse and one in Albany — thinks her strong work ethic to constantly do her best, as well as her vast piano knowledge, awards her such a title. Or perhaps she believes herself a nerd because not only is the piano sales business a unique profession, but a female piano storeowner is even more so. “It’s not like there are lots of young female college graduates with a degree in music who all of a sudden say, ‘Gee, I think I’ll open a piano store,’” Jo Beth chuckled. A little more seriously, she added: “You need a big space and money because pianos are a large, expensive product. That’s probably why there aren’t as many women in the profession.” When asked how she then broke into the piano industry, Jo Beth responded: “By accident, actually.” She began working as the part-time bookkeeper for the store 25 years ago. An avid piano player herself, she was drawn to it. Although, she admitted it wasn’t her life plan. “I played the piano, and I taught kids how to play, but selling one was never something I dreamed of. Ever. But I slowly bought into the company, and I have always really enjoyed doing what I do.” Most would think Jo Beth’s ability to play the piano would help her sell one. She disagrees. “Being able to play the piano has absolutely nothing to do with helping someone select a piano. When you know how to play, you know what you like — what your personal taste is. But what you really need is a blank slate.” And a good business philosophy. Jo Beth gets hers from literature’s “kingliest” amphibian — Dr. Seuss’ Yertle the Turtle. “Yertle was the king of Sala-ma-Sond. While sitting upon his stone for a throne, he decided he couldn’t see enough of the kingdom. He said: ‘I’m ruler of all that I see. But I don’t see enough. That’s the trouble with me.’ He gets his buddy Mack to let him crawl on his back so he can see more. He continues to stack more and more turtles, until Mack burps and Yertle falls down to the ground and becomes ‘King of the Mud.’ So often I see businesses that have become successful and start swiftly stacking their turtles. I don’t believe in doing anything fast. Slow, measured steps are how you can stack up anything, and for every step you take, you want to make sure your foot rests on something solid.” This attitude has helped Jo Beth build her business and gain much success in her profession. The proof is in the pudding. For 10 consecutive years, she’s received the Touchstone Award from the Yamaha Corporation, given for excellence in customer relations and service. She has also been honored with the VIP Dealer Award — given in recognition of overall excellence and community service — the past three years in a row. “I am nerdy enough to want to get the prize at the end of the day,” she joked. “But I also recognize that it’s not just about me when I make a decision and get rewarded for it, it’s about everyone who works for me. I have to stay on my game because I am responsible for tuners, movers, subcontractors, employees and more.”

(continued on page 42) january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com rochesterWomanMag.com

::sw inspire

“ The key is to live the life you were created for, not the one you thought you had…” MARY SORRENDINO

Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor & Author BY CATHERINE WILDE I PHOTO BY JUSSARA POTTER

Years ago, when Mary Sorrendino hit rock bottom in her despair, she turned to God and heard him answer her. Her life was forever changed. Mary, now 56, was 25 years old when she says the spirit of God first entered her and she says it has never left. Mary recalls at the time feeling unloved and bitter, having suffered sexual, physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her parents early in life. But that night on Sept. 29, 1981, changed her life forever. Mary recalls feeling frustrated and sorry for herself, overwhelmed with life and wanting her sister-in-law, Tina, to help her clear off the table. She was asking God how she could summon the help when she heard God’s simple response, that Tina would help her if she loved her. This simple revelation awakened in Mary her true feelings about herself. “It was like I had this heart so hardened from all the abuse, and I felt so unloved and didn’t even know I felt that,” said Mary, adding she still gets emotional remembering that night. Mary also recalls a spiritual presence in the room, and she was so completely taken with it that she vowed to turn her life over to God right at that moment. “I said, ‘God, I know you love me and you sent your son to die for me. Jesus come into my heart, take over my life and I will not live, not breathe one minute, except for you,’” Mary explained. Gradually this surrender took over all aspects of Mary’s life. She eventually learned to forego drugs and alcohol and to forgive her parents. Mary still had to fight flashbacks of abuse, however, and feelings of unworthiness, but she listened to the love she now felt was within her and to messages God sent her along the way. One day she was watching a show about a Christian counseling program available on college campuses. She heard a tale of abuse and heard God speak to her once more. “He said, ‘You will help those who have suffered as you have,’” Mary said. She knew then, that although she was a high school drop-out, she would one day be a therapist. Mary went on to complete her GED and then graduated with an associate’s degree in social work from Onondaga Community College before graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology from SUNY Oswego. Later she earned a master’s degree in counseling with an emphasis on chemical dependency, also at Oswego. Mary is now a licensed mental health counselor and certified drug and alcohol counselor. She also is a motivational speaker and speaks on mental health issues. She says certain things still trigger painful responses in her, such as feeling berated. But instead of going to drugs for a temporary elixir of the flesh, she turns to the spirit of God within her, allowing answers to come to her mind and spirit. The benefits have permeated her life, she says. “I have gone from a drug addict, bitter, hard resentful person to a person filled with peace.” Mary now helps others get to that place of peace, whether it be through 12step programs or other counseling services. She learned to let go of (continued on page 42)

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013 rochesterWomanMag.com

SUSAN BERTRAND

JO BETH DELLINGER

MARY SORRENDINO

Her life took another unexpected turn when she hit the 43-mile marker during the race. The weather was poor and the roads were slick and slippery. Susan was in the zone, and very focused, but she lost control of her bike and was launched into a cement boulder. Her friends realized that she was not with them and went back to find her unconscious. She was rushed to the hospital and expected not to survive. “Literally when I got to the hospital, it came down to a matter of minutes.”

The real reward, however, admitted Jo Beth, is having a satisfied customer. “When I get an email from a customer or community arts organization saying we satisfied their needs, thanking us for our help in the store, that tells me that every day when my guys go out there they are doing their jobs. I know it sounds corny, but that’s more gratifying to me than any award.”

anger and find compassion by seeing people as “broken and hurt,” the way God sees them. She urges people not to listen to negative thoughts about themselves. She has had to overcome feelings of low self-esteem, since she was raised in an environment where family members were constantly putting one another down.

::sw inspire

(cont)

Susan was bleeding internally and was put into a medically-induced coma for two weeks. With her fighting spirit, she pulled through and slowly recovered, despite cracked teeth and difficulty speaking and walking. During her recovery, Susan said she found herself at the receiving end of people’s good will, a place she was not accustomed to being. This inspired her even more in her later efforts with Maureen’s Hope. Now, she personally understood the power of giving. The accident threatened to scare Susan away from cycling, but she didn’t let it. After her recovery, she got back on her bicycle and slowly started riding again. The fear was still there, but she wouldn’t let it discourage her. “I had my health, and I told myself, how can I not do something I love?” This past September she took part in another 100-mile ride. “Fear can be paralyzing and I think you have to face it to fully overcome it.”

(cont)

Thus far, Jo Beth is happy where she is, and simply hopes that doesn’t change. “I have been very, very lucky in my life. I have had a wonderful business with a great reputation, and we have been successful for a very long time. “I feel I have been a successful mother, and I have a successful child who seems devoted to me and me to her. In going forward, I would really like to see that unchanged. Ten years from now I want to be able to say the same things.”

(cont)

“The key is to live the life you were created for, not the one you thought you had, the one filled with the lies,” Mary said. She urges people to seek help for abuse, saying that victims often feel ashamed and blame themselves, feelings that can be conquered through therapy. Mary thinks everyone can benefit from a 12step program. “It brings you to that point of self discovery and self growth,” Mary said, which allows people to see situations more fully. She recently published her memoir “Misery to Ministry,” a tale of her voyage from self-loathing to fullness in Christ. She also is involved in “The Clean Slate Diaries,” an organization that helps victims of sexual abuse and domestic violence. Mary’s work in the field of addiction includes inpatient and outpatient treatment centers before she opened her private practice in August of 2011. She also is “grateful” to have a successful marriage of 38 years and counting. A good marriage is one thing she always wanted and is happy to say she has one.

Heart disease is still the No. 1 killer of women, taking the life of 1 in 3 women each year. This means women just like you — mothers, sisters, friends — are dying at the rate of one per minute. At the American Heart Association, we work every day to fund research and fight this killer so that more people can be saved. But we need your help. This 10th annual National Wear Red Day,® join our mission to ensure we never have to deny research that could save a life. On February 1, 2013, Make It Your Mission to Save Lives. Together we can make a difference.

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

BY ALLISON GRIMES I PHOTO BY CINDY BELL

For Bea Gonzalez, it all started at the dining room table of her childhood home in Syracuse, where she watched her parents build a non-profit organization from scratch. Although Bea jokes that community involvement and outreach is part of her family’s DNA, being raised in such an active and entrepreneurial environment prepared her for a promising future. Early on, her busy career comprised of being a volunteer peer advisor in higher education while also volunteering with the running mayor (at the time), Thomas Young. And of course she did all of this while raising her then-infant son. Much to her surprise, she would develop this volunteer work into a lifelong profession. Now, 38 years and many promotions later, Bea serves as the dean of Syracuse University’s University College. “You have to work at the community you want, the same way you work on the ‘you’ that you want,” is the simple concept that has kept her dedicated to the community over the years. She has paralleled this with a political spotlight, as the first Latina woman to be elected to the Syracuse School Board in 1991, Common Council in 2001, and candidate for mayor of Syracuse in 2009. While in the political spotlight, much of the community was unaware of her simultaneous and full-time work at University College. For as far as she can recall, she always has been busy, which is why she used to encourage her only son to fill out “mommy report” cards. Eventually, faced with the need to step down from politics to tend to her parents, who have Alzheimer’s disease, she also needed to tend to her own health. Throughout it all, Bea was honored to be involved in supporting the community while having lasting effects on second generations. At the latest Meet the Dean Dinner at Syracuse University, for example, she was abruptly rewarded by a student comment, “You don’t know this, but you convinced my mother not to drop out of college.” Such sentiments remind Bea of the large Syracuse population that is faced with a number of challenges in the pursuit of their own dreams. Bea feeds off this reality as inspiration to accomplish her work and looks forward to the challenges she is presented with in life. In Bea’s life, each challenge and opportunity she faced connected her to the next. It’s reminiscent of a quote from Apple Inc. founder Steve Jobs: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards…believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.” Bea is a nominee for two national volunteer board positions, expanding online courses and developing an international component for the summer program of University College, while maintaining close ties with friends and family. And her dedication to her values and community truly have and will continue to make all the difference as she looks forward to the challenges of the new year. The Latina feature was brought to you by the CNY Latino newspaper, where you can find this article in “Spanish”, in this month’s edition. CNY Latino is the only Hispanic oriented newspaper in Central New York and the most direct and effective way to reach the Hispanic population locally. For more information go to www.cnylatino.com or call (315) 415-8593

syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

::special feature

Every resolution, new year, and beginning gives birth to miraculous change, whether we like it or not. With every change or new beginning, we are faced with unexpected responsibilities, challenges, and opportunities for development in ways that you would never imagine.

events

::swm events

Syracuse Woman Magazine

SYRACUSE SANDY RELIEF I PHOTOS BY WILLSON CUMMER On Friday, October 5th, we entertained over 300 of our friends, clients, and new neighbors as we celebrated the Syracuse runners and friends raised more than $9,000 on Sunday, Dec. 2, to help Staten Island residents recover from Superstorm Sandy. The Syracuse Sandy Relief (@SyrSandyRelief) included a 5K run that started at the Spa at 500, went partially up the city creek walk and ended in Armory Square at Benjamin’s on Franklin. Runners made a donation instead of a registration fee for the informal run. Hundreds of runners, friends and family members came together for the cause, even in pouring rain, and enjoyed music, food and a raffle at Benjamin’s. More than 50 people volunteered to make it happen under the guidance of Jeanne Albanese and Ed Griffin-Nolan, who were raised on Staten Island and now live in Central New York.

WBOC HOLIDAY AUCTION The members of the Women Business Opportunities Connections and their friends, family and colleagues came out to the Crowne Plaza in Syracuse for an evening of food, fun, dancing (music by Liverpool DJs) and a spectacular holiday auction! Many WBOC (@WBOConnection) members and local businesses donated items for the silent auction. This year’s event helped raise more than $3,400 for the WBOC’s philanthropic missions and to facilitate scholarships for local youth and women entrepreneurs.

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

::events

VERA HOUSE NEW BEGINNINGS GALA I PHOTOS BY ALTERIMAGE PHOTOGRAPHY The Vera House Foundation presented its 21st annual “New Beginnings” Gala on Saturday, Dec. 1 at the SRC Arena on the campus of Onondaga Community College. Special tribute was paid to Gala Honorary Chairs Margie and Alan Burstein for their commitment and support of Vera House. “New Beginnings” is the annual gala sponsored by the Vera House Foundation Board of Trustees to benefit the programs services of Vera House, Inc. The gala brought together more than 500 guests to celebrate the season and support the agency’s mission to end domestic and sexual violence.

January

CEO ECONOMIC FORECAST BREAKFAST TIME: 7:30 to 10 AM WHAT: Join hundreds of fellow CenterState CEO members, business leaders and executives for the presentation of the 2013 Economic Forecast. WHERE: The Oncenter, 800 S. State St., Syracuse COST: $30 for members; $40 for non-members or a table of 10 for $275. Register by Jan. 4. For more information, contact Lisa Metot at (315) 470-1870.

ICE SKATING IN CLINTON SQUARE TIME: 10 AM to 8:30 PM WHAT: More than 20,000 skaters enjoy the open-air facility each year. All youth 12 and under must be accompanied by a parent/guardian. WHERE: Clinton Square, W. Genesee & S. Clinton streets, Syracuse INFO: The rink is open weather permitting, so please call in advance- 423-0129. Daily hours are available at www.visitsyracuse.org in the events calendar.

SWM NIGHT AT KOTO TIME: 6 to 8 PM WHAT: Come enjoy Koto cuisine fusion, happy hour drink specials and as always, the best netowrking crowd in town! WHERE: Koto Japanese Steakhouse, 2841 Erie Boulevard East, Syracuse AFRICAN-STYLE MARIMBA ENSEMBLE TIME: 2 PM WHAT: The Kambuyu Marimba Ensemble is based in the Westcott neighborhood, the group showcases seven marimba players with musical roots in traditional Shona songs from South Africa and the rhythms of Zimbabwe. WHERE: Liverpool Public Library, 310 Tulip St., Liverpool COST: Free syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013

::special feature 46

january 2013 :: syracuseWomanMag.com

BY FARAH F. JADRAN

Whether you know a lot about adoption or not, you probably have an opinion about it.

The Journey Begins

“My view on adoption has not changed since I’ve always been open to it,” said Jennifer Bulmahn, a Central New York resident. “But my view of the depth of the bond that adoptive parents and children share has changed.” Jennifer and her husband Jeff recently adopted their son Conner as a baby. Conner was born in Syracuse and was matched with the Bulmahns with the help of Hillside Children’s Center. “Our son is ours, not only in name but in our hearts and thoughts,” Jennifer said. “We have a deep bond that will always be strong.” The Bulmahns said they have always wanted to adopt. Many of Jennifer’s childhood friends were adopted when they were small children. “I loved watching them bond with their families,” she said. Jeff was already trying to adopt a child out of foster care when he was single but had not been matched yet when he met Jennifer. So when the Bulmahns found out they couldn’t have children, they were both “eager and excited” to start the adoption process. “We wanted to be parents more than anything and began planning and talking about our baby long before we even met him [Conner],” Jeff said. The Bulmahns started working on the adoption process by going to the Hillside Children’s Center. “I am incredibly grateful for the supportive, nonjudgmental staff at Hillside,” Jennifer said. “They let me share my feelings and helped me through the waiting period. They encouraged me and kept me updated and encouraged me to do things that I enjoy to keep my spirits up. Jennifer also said the Hillside staff answered her phone calls promptly and her husband’s emails. When any of the Bulmahns’ friends ask about adoption, they always suggest looking into the services at Hillside. “They kept assuring us that we would be matched with a healthy baby even when we were feeling anxious,” Jeff said.

Being A Mom

“I am much more relaxed and much happier now that I am a mom,” Jennifer said. “I have dreamed of being a mom my entire life so holidays and the birthdays and milestones of others’ children were hard for me.” While she was thrilled for my siblings and friends, she still “felt empty and incomplete inside.” So when the Bulmahns were matched with their son Conner, they felt “a wholeness and a sense of completion.” “I am in love with our son and with being a mom,” Jennifer said. The Bulmahns everyday life has changed in “sweet ways,” Jennifer said. “We have a house full of toys and as soon as I get home I can hear our son throw his toy on the floor and start crawling across the floor to greet me,” Jennifer said. “He says ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ now and hugs us back. There’s nothing sweeter than leaving work behind and cuddling up with your baby.”

While watching Conner grow, the Bulmahns are able to see each other growth as individual parents. “I always knew [Jeff] would be a great dad, but it still touches me to see him hold our son and play with him,” Jennifer said. “I’m amazed at his selflessness and incredible patience and love for our baby.”

How Will Conner Learn About Adoption

“We have bought three children’s books to help us,” Jennifer said Two of the books are written from the perspective of the adoptive mother and one is written from the perspective of the birth mother. The Bulmahns also plan to share his birth family’s story and pictures. They also are open to a family reunion one day, if everyone is interested.

::Special feature

For many it can be a light of hope when having children is not an option. For others, the whole process may appear so daunting that they may never move forward to learn more. However, when a person or a couple finally makes a definitive decision, the process will be out and the journey is not intimidating. Instead, it’s a hopeful journey.

Conner’s impressionable mind has made errands and housework fun, Jennifer said. “He sees everything as new and interesting so he makes even mundane tasks fun,” Jennifer said. “As a couple we enjoy watching him grow and learn, and I appreciate my husband even more.”

“Basically we will tell him that he is lucky to have two mommies, the one who gave him life and the one who raised him,” Jennifer said, “He is lucky to have so much love in his life and two mommies who pray for him and love him. And we will tell him that he is our dream come true.”

Misconceptions About The Adoption Process

For 25 years, Lisa Maynard has been working in the adoption field, and for seven years she has been the director of Family Finding and Adoption Services at Hillside Children’s Center. Maynard says Hillside has revamped many of its services and programs over the last two to three years to further help families in the area. “I’m very confident in the way we have re-energized it [Hillside],” Maynard said. “We have seen a lot of growth in it.”

As Hillside recently celebrated its 175th anniversary, Maynard says the center is looking to help people learn more about adoption and diminish any misconceptions they might have about the process. “There used to be a lot of fear in the adoption process, especially because families want a baby so badly,” she said. However, the fear of having an adoption fall through has become a thing of the past, according to Maynard. There’s a better sense of openness throughout the whole process, she said. For instance, Maynard is most excited about Family Chronicles (www.adoptionchronicles.com); a website designed to further adoption outreach across the country. “It’s a nice tool we’ve been using to do outreach across the country to pregnant women interested in adoption,” Maynard said. “It’s a way for families who wouldn’t have meant one another, to actually do so.” At the same time, Maynard says the website takes a lot of pressure off everyone involved. “It’s a very emotional process for everybody,” Maynard said. As well, Maynard says she wants people to understand that many children put up from adoption are not from teen pregnancies. She says many women in their 20s, 30s and 40s, realize that adoption is the right choice for their baby. “They just want the best for their baby,” Maynard said. Both Jennifer and Jeff Bulmahn understand this part of the process as well. “Birth mothers love their children and want the best for them,” Jennifer said. They choose adoption plans and they never give them up in their hearts. And then they do what all mothers do: they worry, they pray, they look at pictures and videos, and they love their children even though they can’t parent them.” syracuseWomanMag.com :: january 2013