Fear of Failure By: Sensei Todd C. Jonas
Todd Jonas - 1999 Seattle Sabaki Champion In 1996 a series of events unfolded that set-in motion a trajectory of changes in my martial arts journey. My instructor informed me that being a black belt opens countless doors and opportunities. I should find a goal and work diligently towards it. Become singularly devoted in pursuit of that charge. I deliberated his comments for months, internalizing a challenge that would be admirable and worthy. After watching a full contact, no pads, bareknuckle tournament I knew what I wanted to do. This was my challenge. Like Julius Caesar crossing the Rubicon river in 49 BC, I too, felt irrevocably committed to this course of action. Over the course of a year, I hardened my body, mind, and spirit. I trained with several men that were superior athletes and fighters. The bond between us grew as the training intensified. I always find it thought-provoking how fighters connect through contact. Much like soldiers’ bond in times of war. An extraordinary and primal relationship develops when we are exposed to intense and raw situations with others. Eventually, I felt like I wasn’t just fighting for myself, I was fighting for my training partners as well. Their sacrifice for my pursuit was virtuous and I didn’t want to disappoint them. As the bare-knuckle tournament approached, so did the excitement in my school and community. It was apparent that this tournament was much bigger than me. The gravity and pressure started to build as the date approached. The day before the tournament the pre-fight meeting was held. The weigh-in, rules overview, and bracketing were completed. I looked at the tournament bracket with troubling disbelief as I discovered my first fight was against the reigning champion. At that moment, the weight of the Universe descended upon my shoulders. A glaring 16 January 2021 / taekwondotimes.com
realization overcame me. I was more afraid of my failure in front of others than actually fighting the champion. In the darkest margins of my mind, I started to doubt my decision to compete in the tournament. Fear of Failure was slipping into my mind-set and questioning my confidence. Fear of Failure is powerful, and more often than not, can sabotage the thoughts and performance of a martial artist. Fear of Failure manifests itself on the foundation of self-doubt. This doubt predominately comes in the form of what others think, or what a martial artist thinks of their performance. They worry about disappointing their instructor, friends, family, and ultimately, themselves. Unfortunately, competitors worry about things that are often not under their direct or immediate control. This is the genesis of the mental breakdown of a karateka before a competition. I have compiled three strategies for coping with the Fear of Failure. These strategies will not come to a martial artist immediately. They take patience and practice to be effective. First, respect the view of others, but do not let it dictate your self-worth. It is paramount to take advice and constructive criticism from your instructor and close training partners. These are the individuals that have your best interest in mind. You have a bond with them, and your performance is an extension of their efforts. If people outside your inner training circle are giving too much advice and it is weighing you down, be forward with them. Let them know you appreciate their perspective, but you have a distinct plan. Be firm in telling them you will ask for help if you need it. Another method is to ask them to train with you. I have found about 95% of those I asked would never commit. Of the 5% that did, they normally quit after one or two sessions and you never hear from them again. It solves the problem fairly quickly.
