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Letters Sponsorship for the Highland Games
The Royal Canadian Legion is seeking sponsorship in funding the BC Legion Highland Gathering on June 17, 18, and 19. We would appreciate any cash donations or gifts for the silent auction. Kindly respond to the Royal Canadian Legion, Branch 171, PO Box 219, Ladysmith, BC, V9G 1A2 or drop off at 621 First Avenue, Ladysmith. Thanks for your support. - Darrel Byron Chairman, BCLHG, Ladysmith, RCL Br 171
Controversial building
Through a Freedom of Information Request I gained access to the building file for the controversial structure located at 410 3rd Ave (driveway on Roberts). The information was so disturbing to me that I felt duty bound to bring the matter to the attention of the Mayor and Council, which I did last November. These are the facts on file at City Hall: 1). The applicant did not prepare his own application for a building permit. It was prepared by the Building Inspector. On the application (Schedule A) the Building Inspector indicated the intended use to be Residential, not accessory. He (the Building Inspector) did not complete the application which requires such details as number of bedrooms, storeys etc. The form was never signed or dated by the owner/applicant, which is a requirement ensuring a legal agreement regarding indemnification. 2). The Permit (Schedule B) was for a 900 sq. ft. garage. On the Calculation of Fees and Charges form, however, fees were applied to both a 900 sq ft. garage and a 900 sq. ft. second floor. The Jennish Home Design plan was for a Loft Dwelling with a two bay garage, a lavatory and utility room on the entry level. The second storey has a separate entrance, 10 x 30 ft sundeck, 2 bedrooms w/ doors and closets, full bathroom, full kitchen w/ pantry and a living room. The owner installed phone, internet, cable, a heat pump, infloor heating, a separate hydro pole, appliances, window treatments, a washer/dryer and furniture. The Bylaw states that there can be only one residence per lot in this zone and the project meets all criteria under the Bylaw Definition of a Dwelling Unit. 3). The maximum height for this zone was 7.5 m. This structure is 7.5 m (as indicted on the plans) plus the cement slab. The site plan did not show the height of the buildings on the land, as required.
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4). No Driveway Access Permit was obtained, yet is a requirement under the Rules and Regulations. This ensures a legal agreement around damage to public property and indemnification. 5). The structure violated the Setback Bylaw under 5.1 under the Zone specific regulations:”No building or structure located on a parcel within this Zone shall be close than: (c) 7.5 meters to the rear parcel line where the parcel slopes up to the rear parcel line.” 6). It has been reported to Staff repeatedly that the owner is occupying the premises in violation of the Bylaw which states that no person shall occupy a building contrary to the permit. Despite an assurance in an email dated Nov 10, 2010 from the Mayor that this matter would be brought forward on a future agenda and that I would be notified, I have received only a written response. It appears that Council has discussed this entire issue In Camera and has deemed the matter now closed. It will not appear on the Public Record because Council has never included my letters under Correspondence on the Public Agenda The response I received is nothing more than a load of excuses, plenty of “interpretations” of the Bylaws and Regulations, and my personal favourite: past practice (it’s just how things are done). There is no justification for this. How and why did this happen? Theories abound. Two things are certain, however: This Mayor and Council will not direct Staff to enforce the Bylaws, and this Mayor and Council are convinced that this structure is a 900 sq. ft. garage. The absurdity of all of this has been beyond belief. It would be comical if no one had been hurt. However harm has been done: This has negatively impacted the neighbour through loss of privacy, shade, viewscape and decreased property values and it should never have happened because this neighbourhood is not zoned for this type of structure. - Cathy Gilroy
Town of Ladysmith responds:
Thank you for an opportunity to provide another perspective on the structure located at 410 3rd Ave. I would like to thank Ms. Gilroy for her keen interest in this matter and for bringing her concerns to Council’s attention. Any time concerns are raised about past practice, Council and staff look into the issue and see if there is an opportunity for improvement. This issue is no different. Firstly, the building cannot be occupied as a residence or a suite. This was clearly written on the building plans at the time of the application. Secondly, the structure and current use of the structure conform to the present bylaw. Although Ms. Gilroy’s interpretation of the bylaw is not that of the Town’s nor our solicitors, the Town’s interpretation of the bylaw has been consistent since 1996 and applies to dozens of accessory buildings built since that time. The zoning bylaw itself is out of date and needs to be updated to minimize the opportunity for misinterpretation. In response to concerns brought forward by citizens and after a review of neighbouring communities, last September Council amended the bylaw such that any new accessory buildings are limited in both size (45 square metres) and height (5 metres). It is Council’s intention to review such restrictions for acces-
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sory buildings when the community has completed its review of secondary suites which is currently underway. There are three neighbourhood forums, a telephone survey and a public open house scheduled on this topic and I encourage all citizens to participate. - Rob Hutchins, Mayor
Kudos for writer
I think that TAKE 5 and all the readers are lucky to have a writer the likes of Rob Pinkerton. His reply to the rat haters was classic and delivered with the right sense of humor. He did a great job of clarifying the salaries debate by getting the facts and giving us unbiased information without any alterior motive, other than to clear the air. Great job Rob, keep it up. - George Creek
Community Services Building
Thanks very much for the great article and support for the Community Service Centre project. - Len Manuel, Director of Resource Development, Boys and Girls Clubs of Central Vancouver Island A very good job on the article. Boy, there sure were a lot of smiles. A good sign. - Cora Maier, Ladysmith Seniors Centre Society
Freighters at Large
My wife is over at our beach property on Vancouver Island and she tells me that there are several very large container ships at anchor in the area of Chemainus & Ladysmith Harbour. Do you know if anyone can say what that is all about as it is a sight never seen before? Is it related to the ongoing triple disaster in Japan or something else? - (sent via website take5.ca) Ed. Note: We asked and here is the answer: When the Port of Vancouver’s berths are full ships will anchor in English Bay, and when it is full the ships go to island anchorages to wait their turn. The area over here between Chemainus and Ladysmith is one of the island safe anchorage sites. That why the ships are here.
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TAKE 5 News TV
(via website. ) Absolutely Fabulous dahling!!! I totally enjoyed it, and big kudos to whoever thought of the out Takes 1-5! – Laurie Gourlay The video is great and the ending was too funny. Haven’t laughed at myself that hard in a long time. Ken at Cutlass Film did a great job. – Jill Collins
Readers have been checking out our new TAKE 5 News TV channel on YouTube or http://www.take5.ca/take5-tv/. In Episode three we visit the Holland Creek Trail with writer Jill Collins. Viewers respond: TAKE 5 News TV Holland Creek visit with Jill Collins This is good!!!!I love the out takes at the end. Since she mentioned Transfer Beach, it is a natural for her next episode! The bear adds some humor and that is good. Congratulations to TAKE 5 and Cutlass Films! - Verna Hastings Great job Jill - loved your description of the Holland Creek Trail! I want to be there - whatever time of the year!!! Loved the out takes as well - kept me in stitches! Looking forward to your next adventure - keep the VIDS coming!!!
TAKE 5 would love to hear your comments and ideas for future episodes. http://www.take5.ca/take5-tv/ Letters to the Editor are welcome but subject to space and editing. Letters may also be used on the take5.ca website. Write PO Box 59, Ladysmith, BC, V9G 1A1, editor@take5.ca, or post your comments directly at www.take5.ca
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““in the year 2525, if man is still alive...” - Zager & Evans
Local Imperatives
I was just getting into my groove, listening to the old rock classics, when my Earth Day promise popped into my head. And the imminent deadline brought me down to, well, Earth. I pretty much knew things ain’t what they used to be. And thinking any further pretty much put me on edge - since I really didn’t want to think about it. So Plan B it was. Ignore the problem and it will go away. I opted for a road trip. Which gave me good excuse to put off reading that stupid 2010 CVRD State of the Environment report, and the RDN’s stupid Official Community Plan for Area A, and the not-so stupid VIU Water Vulnerability report for Cassidy/Cedar/Yellowpoint. And what the heck, I stuffed all those other darn endangered spaces and species reports, hot spot maps, Coastal Douglas Fir assessments and ecological inventories back into the box they’d been stored in. Bad karma, man, not cool. Get thee away. Then just for good measure, and maybe a little revenge for wrecking my headspace, I threw the old carbon/climate change/global warming report into the
wood stove, fire starter for the evening. Local warming for my home. I was back in the groove. And I deserve it, right. R&R- rock’n roll, rest n’ relaxation, a little time out so’s I could put the world in my town in perspective. Maybe I’d stop at that ice cream parlour on my way to find the hitherto undiscovered secrets of the ancient forests of Green Mountain? Nirvana in mind, and ready to go in the cassette, a nice relaxing drive ahead, I didn’t pay much attention to the for sale sign, and condo re-development application of the neighbour’s farm down the road. And I turned off the radio news, decreasing number of owls living in the Yellowpoint area as their habitat disappears. I needed grunge, not bad news. Nirvana it was as the Island Highway loomed. Dodged some heavy traffic, caught the turnoff, and pointed the old belching blue VW camper up the mountain. Looked away as the forest clearcut neared, up by Nanaimo Lakes, and didn’t get overly panicked when the ATV flashed past my front bumper doing 90. Up the dirt barrier ramp it went, airborne and away, noisy rattle and smoke disappearing into the multinational semi-sovereign territory of the E&N land grant, where old forests were being turned into residential property faster than you could say windfall. A shake of the head erased bad thoughts that were creeping in. Twenty miles and I’d be in the old haunt, my green haven. The no trespassing sign ominously riddled with bullet holes, and a new, caged video camera staring at me from above, gave reason to reconsider. For a change of pace I popped in Johnny Cash, Don’t Go Near the Water, and headed back down the mountain, stopping at the good ‘ole look-off. Resting my eyes on the green lands and blue waters of the coastal communities below I squinted away all the dots and pock marks, ignoring, almost, all the new houses tucked into corners that used to belong to the critters and wee beasties. Slid to a stop a few miles down the road, just missing one of those dang deer that seem to be everywhere these days. Ever since the carnivore food chain got disrupted seems there’s been more and more introduced species invading the area, taking over from the natural flora
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and fauna. And they like to eat my garden too. Shook that thought away, Noticed the path at roadside, and remembered the fishing hole and salmon creek that used to be a neighbourhood secret. Stretching my legs found me the high-flood mark, through the brush, to a debris-filled gravel pit. No steelhead there no more, so I jumped back in the old beater, and headed for the estuary. Ozzy’s ‘Dreamer’, from his Down to Earth album, told me the sun was going down, and I had to go for it! I was on a mission. Everyone used to head there about this time of day, drift out onto the Strait around five o’clock, catch a salmon or two for supper. And when there’s a party crowd just get down and roast a few over the coals of a big beachfire. Mmmm mmm, that sounded right. Until I got there. Stop - restricted access. Can’t go to that beach no more. Nice big houses though. Shook my head a coupl’a more times. Listened to the pounding beat of the Who, Won’t Get Fooled Again’, and decided to head back. But the gas guzzler needed filling first - and wow, big downer. When did gas start costing so much? I remember 29 cents a gallon when I was a kid. But, shake, shake, shake. Good vibrations only this trip. I pumped up the volume with REM, ‘It’s the End of the World’, and I felt fine. What the heck it wasn’t my problem, the government would take care of it, or the oil companies, somebody else anyway. Not me, that’s for sure. Annndddd... home again, ahhh. Light that fire and put my feet on the couch. A special on David Suzuki on the tube. And that article I had to write could wait. I had my theme now, a focus on what a beautiful place we live in, and how lucky we are on Vancouver Island. Too bad everyone couldn’t have it so good. In 2525 this area is going to be thriving, if I have anything to say about it! Right? Laurie Gourlay has worked with environmental groups for thirty years, farms 20 acres organically on Vancouver Island with life-partner Jackie Moad, and takes regular road trips that cause climate change and other environmental problems while running Thistle Consulting Services – actively seeking local solutions to global challenges.
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New modular home park in a field of dreams BY MARINA SACHT The street is a beehive of activity. Sundecks are in the process of being built. Gardeners are busy putting in their rockwork and landscaping. A man surveys his newly transplanted palm tree. It has survived the winter. A bobcat buzzes down the street and everywhere the hum of power tools and there is the chorus of hammers.
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Welcome to Parkside Estates, Ladysmith’s new modular home park with a unique history. Its 40 sites are more than half occuppied by the previous tenants of Ivy Green Park. “There are only 17 sites left,” says Ron Currie of Home Front Modular, the home provider for park owners LMF Development and the Parkside Estates community. Currie takes me through the display show home. It’s a single wide but surprisingly spacious. Large windows and an open floor concept, rich cabinetry in the kitchen and sophisticated colours are a nice surprise. The split design features a bedroom and bath at either end, offering privacy while increasing the livable space by omitting the hallway. Built to Canadian Mortgage Housing Standards, the homes feel like a regular house. “You will find 2x6 construction, low volatile windows, and generous insulation, making them efficient to heat. Sizes range from 924 to 1400 sq ft. A
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Shirley and John Kolompar former Ivy Green tenants with their new modular home in the Parkside Estates Park Photos: Marina Sacht
single is 14’ wide by 66’. The lots are generous 35 to 45 wide by 100 deep backing onto a wooded area with walking trails and the sport field close by yet still private. “We want this to feel like home for them,” says Currie, pointing out the walking trails and the fringe of tall trees that are parkland. “People have been under a lot of pressure, it’s been a traumatic experience for them,” says Currie. It takes us 10 minutes to walk to the end of the short street; we are stopped with hellos, friendly waves and everywhere people are exchanging greetings and news. There’s a good feeling on the street. It’s the feeling of a community reconnecting its bonds. A new home starts at $129,000 and with pad rents at $365, they are an af-
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(above) Ron Currie of HomeFront Modulars. (right) Interior of single wide show home at Parkside Estates. Photos: Marina Sacht
fordable housing option. But better yet, the Park is offering residents security and peace of mind with a 25 year lease. The story of how this community came to be here is unique . Back in early 2009 the residents of Ivy Green Modular Home Park were given eviction notice that they would have to relocate as owners Oak Bay Marina Group had plans to develop the ocean view property. For many of the elderly long term residents it was a devastating blow. Not only would they be faced with the almost impossible task of relocating their older modulars – aging restrictions on modulars would prevent them from entering many parks but the tight knit community would also be lost. In the first of its kind move the Town of Ladysmith led by Mayor Rob Hutchins, and various community groups came forward to help with finding a new home and facilitating the move. A portion of the parkland of Lot 108 where the new sports field is located was rezoned. In 2010 LMF Development, made up of David Stalker, Jag Basi and Chris Kaelbe took on the challenge as owners. “If it wasn’t for Rob Hutchins we wouldn’t be here. We’d be out on the street.” says Shirley Kolompar. The Kolompars moved to Ivy Green in 2006 where they bought a double wide for $60,000. They had heard rumours that the park could be closing but when it came it still surprised them. Shirley estimates that the average cost to relocate a home is around $20,000. That includes the move, setting up, and because the park is new, there was the additional expense of bringing service, and cementing the driveway. Residents will be able to recoup that cost when they sell their homes but for some it was too costly and they didn’t make the move. “We only got $1500 from Oak Bay Marine Group,” she says. Although they really liked their doublewide they sold it. Between the cost of moving it and its age, they decided to purchase a new singlewide from HomeFront. “We’re really happy that we went that route.” The Kolompars were the first to move in on Jan. 27, 2011. Shirley remembers being awakened one night shortly after moving in. “It was very dark, the streetlights hadn’t been installed and suddenly we were awakened with these bright lights in our windows. “ It wasn’t an alien invasion. It was Nickel Bros bringing in a modular. Their permit required night moves.” The exodus had begun. Volunteers came to the rescue. Lady-
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smith Rotary assisted in moving some of the seniors. Families and friends came to the rescue. “Volunteers helped move the shrubs and landscaping. In times like this you have to pull together with family and friends,” Shirley says she has no hard feelings over the eviction. “We can see both sides of the coin.” The hardest part was waiting and living in limbo. “When people were given a time for their move, everyone goes “ahhh”, the waiting is passed. Now we could start planning and living again.” Shirley loves being close to the new sport field. “It’s fun to watch the games, people walking with their dogs, everyone stops and chats. The community has been great to us.” Today, the sun is shining, offering a promise for a brighter future for this new community in its field of dreams.
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Green builders GNB Builders is Ladysmith’s Built Green Builder. In the last three years we have certified all our custom homes either Platinum or Gold Built Green certified with all homes achieving higher than an 80 Energuide rating. We concentrate on staying current with today’s building trends so we can provide clients with cutting edge technology and endless choices. This year we attended our third International Builders Show in Florida
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The 5 biggest trends we noted were: 1. Everything was green focused 2. Recycled materials were promoted, such as roofing, decking and insulation 3. Home automation - call home from your iPhone and turn the lights on before you get home or adjust the temperature. 4. Aging in place products - home elevators, showers and tubs 5. Solar - we even saw solar collectors that were built into window blinds! My favourite exhibits were Kohlers kitchen and bath display, Electrolux appliances, Milgard windows and doors, and the very many kitchen displays, including outdoor kitchens and of course seeing all the paint companies claim to the “new colours” for 2011. Greg Bianchini, as always, focused on building materials and the latest in advanced building technology. www.gnbbuilders. ca - submitted by Heidi Derhousoff Heidi Derhousoff and Greg Bianchini of GNB Builders at the International
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and encourage both businesses and individuals to become involved and support this worthwhile community project. If you are interested in supporting this project please contact Terri-Lynne Campbell (Terrilynne@the49th.com) or Theressa Klein at tklein@westernforest.com. A bank account has been set up at Ladysmith & District Credit Union (250245-2247) under ‘Ladysmith Skate Park’ for anyone interested in donating to the project. If you would like a tax receipt for amounts of $100 and over you need to go to Town Hall (250-245-6400) to make your donation. Our event will take place May 28, 2011. For the most up to date information on the project please visit our blog at http:// ladysmithskate.tumblr.com.
Ladysmith Skatepark to get makeover
Ladysmith will soon have an upgraded skatepark thanks to a newly formed partnership between the Town of Ladysmith, Ladysmith Secondary School and Leadership Vancouver Island’s group, Team Board Members. This community project includes a built in amphitheatre seating area, benches, irrigation, landscaping and skate park apparatus. Some of the existing apparatus will be modified as well as new apparatus being added. One of the Team’s goals is to challenge skateboarders’ abilities in a recreational setting instead of on public streets as well as improve the aesthetic appearance of the current skatepark. The Team is continuing to approach
LSS Improv
Ladysmith Secondary School Improv Team is off to Ottawa to compete in the Canadian Improv Games’ National Tournament April 19 to 23. They are looking for donations to help them defray the cost of the trip. For more information on how you can help, contact William Taylor wtaylor@sd68.bc.ca or 250-245-3043.
Seniors Advisory
The Ladysmith Resources Centre Association recently received funding from the New Horizons for Seniors Program to plan, establish, and implement a Seniors Advisory Council in Ladysmith.
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This Seniors Advisory Council will increase and strengthen seniors’ connections with each other, increase participation in the broader community, increase feelings of community belongingness, and empower seniors as leaders in the community. A planning committee comprised of seniors is being set up to provide information to the Ladysmith community on the Seniors Advisory Council, and to solicit input from the community its nature and role. For more information contact Ladysmith Resources Centre Association, 250-245-3079
Wildwood workshops
Public events at Wildwood April 2: Nancy Turner is leading an ethnobotany workshop. April 9 and 10 there are edible wildplant workshops. For more information:.http://blog.conservancy. bc.ca/properties/vancouver-island-region/wildwood/wildwood-events/
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Florence Foster turns 105!
Isabel Florence Michie was born in Ladysmith in 1906 to parents Jennet and Henry Michie. Florence’s grandfather Harry Blair was one the of the first alderman on Town Council. She spent a happy childhood attending school and enjoying a very active social life. She met her future husband, Bert Foster, in Stanley Park, while on vacation in Vancouver. They raised two girls, June and Jackie. Flo and Bert lived for many years on the corner of Symonds and 2nd Avenue. They had a wonderful garden and every Christmas their decorations were admired by many. They enjoyed travel and visited many countries such as Mexico, the U.K. and Panama. Florence was very much involved in the community through her work with the Eastern Star, the Eagles, Native Daughters, the Cancer Society, not to mention the hundreds of babies she weighed at the Public Health Unit. Many Ladysmith girls enjoyed her flower arrangements and decorations at their weddings. Florence is the oldest Ladysmith citizen (born and raised), and is a resident
Florence Foster, Ladysmith’s oldest resident
of the Lodge on Fourth. She will be celebrating her 105th Birthday with friends and family. -submitted by Cathy Gilroy
Community Litter Cleanups
Community cleanups are slated for Saturday April 9 in the South Wellington and Cedar Yellow Point area. The litter on back roads, trails, and
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forested areas is reaching mammoth proportions. Littering and illegal dumping is making a huge mess of our rural neighborhoods, and community members are taking a stand to clean up our roads and backwoods. Volunteers will be gathering at the fire hall in South Wellington and Cassidy at 9am on April 9, where garbage bags and plastic gloves will be supplied, courtesy of Planet Clean. Personal safety wear such as leather gloves or the equivalent would be a good idea, as well as high vis wear if you are planning on working roadside. If you have any questions or can supply a pick up to transport litter to the Cedar Landfill please call Krista at 250-245-0440. Residents in the Yellow Point, Cedar, Boat Harbour and Cedar By the Sea areas of RDN Area ‘A’ can support their community also on Saturday April 9. Please gather at the North Cedar Improvement District’s Fire Hall on Yellow Point Road at 9:30 am. or as soon as possible. The roads and highways contractor EmCon will provide the garbage bags and will pick up the full garbage bags left
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along the roadsides. But, there is still a need for some pickup trucks and small garbage bags etc. Have you noticed the beautiful, newly planted entrance to the Morden Colliery Trail in Cedar? Volunteers are needed to keep this area in good condition by watering and weeding. Please come out to the first work party on Saturday and sign up. Further, to this clean up project there is hope that a Community Beautification Committee could be formed. There are many small communities throughout British Columbia that have undertaken to beautify the centre of their communities and their main thoroughfares. At this time we are too small to consider “Communities in Bloom” support but we could get started with their guidelines. The specifics will be discussed once the committee is formed. Thank you for taking pride in your neighbourhoods and community at large. For further information please contact Marlies @ 250-722-3399.
Discovering South Wellington (April 6-May 14)
Nanaimo Museum is proud to work with and showcase historic South Wellington, an enterprising community in a valley south of Nanaimo where coal mines, railways, farming and families once created a bustling community. The exhibit is based on Clare Singleton’s book ‘Treasures of South Wellington’. Clare’s art is the centre of the exhibit which includes a variety of photographs, artifacts and stories provided by the community that complement the original works by the artist. Join the Nanaimo Museum also for the series of
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Sue Kodric and Kate Bond will be holding a garage sale on April 2 to raise funds for the Ride to Conquer Cancer
Saturday lectures and walking tours of the community organized by the South Wellington Historical Committee. All presentations are 2-4 pm. For more information and to book, contact Nanaimo Museum 250-753-1821.
Garage Sale Fundraiser
Sue Kodric and Kate Bond will be holding a garage sale on April 2 to raise funds for the Ride to Conquer Cancer, a 260 km ride from Vancouver to Seattle, over the weekend of June 18 and 19. The garage sale will be at 618 Oakwood Road in Ladysmith, 8am until 4pm. All proceeds will go toward their fundraising goal of $5,000.
Ladysmith rocker
Ryan McMahon and the Company Damn, Waking Up Canada this Spring
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Ladysmith rocker Ryan McMahon lost his friend and fellow singer, Megan McNeil this January and is determined to continue to share her story and fight with cancer with anyone who will listen. McMahon and McNeil recorded the song “Wake Up” in November 2010. It was the last time Megan McNeil saw the inside of a recording studio. McMahon will be taking “Wake Up” along with the rest of his collection of songs to audiences across Canada throughout 2011, this first set of dates being the kick off to what he and the band hopes is a growing voice that will continue to bring Megan’s dream of ending childhood cancer to a reality. www.youtube.com/jointhedamnclub Video channel link: www. youtube.com/gotthewilltosurvive
Stz’uminus First Nation news
On April 7, Stz’uminus First Nation will be electing 11 seats for Chief and Council. The election is held every two years. Chief Councilor John Elliott is seeking reelection. Herman Seymour and Spencer Seymour are also running for Chief. Twenty-four candidates are running for councilors, with nine recumbent.
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Stz’uminus Sings
A new CD Stz’uminus Sings, 12 Songs of Our Nation is being launched April 15 at the Stz’uminus Community Centre.This recording was made by the Hul’qumi’num language program of the Education Department at Stz’uminus First Nation.
Play premiers
Ladysmith Players presents the premiere of Visit from the President April 28 to May 15, written and directed by Brian March. A Visit from the President is a love letter to the age of radio plays and the people who created them. Ladysmith Little Theatre, 4985 Christie Road, Box office number: 250-924-0658 www.ladysmiththeatre.com
Cowichan Valley Arts Show
The 41st annual Cowichan Valley Fine Arts Show take place from April 6 to 10 at the Quw’utsun’ Cultural and Conference Centre. One of Vancouver Island’s largest non-juried art exhibitions and sale, where featured daily are art demonstrations, musical entertainment and children’s activities. Adlt admission is $5, children are free.
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For information, cowichanartist@ gmail.com or the CVAC office at (250) 746-1633. www.cowichanvalleyartscouncil.ca.
Zodiac zoo
Ladysmith writer Penelope Allen has released a book of poetry and art. Zodiac Zoo features poems written in the villanelle format and feature the animals of the Chinese Zodiac. Allen, a retired postal worker, says the idea came from her dealing with the yearly issue of Chinese Zodiac postal stamps and how delightful they are. The book is available for sale at Amazon, Barnes & Noble plus other sites or call her directly at 250-245-7456 The book’s illustrations by Stephen Cassidy of Manitoba are available framed through Bayview Framing in Ladysmith.
Ladysmith Poet Penelope Allen released her first book Zodiac Zoo based on the Chinese New Year.
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Waterfall and sea lions Many of you may already know about my family’s year long challenge of finding life in adventure, to seek out and discover five living things each time we set off on one of our outdoor adventures. So far we have discovered exciting marine life like moon jellyfish, high cockscomb eel, and tide pool sculpins. Two types of ducks; Mallard and Lessor Scaup, a variety of trees; Arbutus, Western Red Cedar and giant Sitka Spruce, and more moss than I care to identify. But the list lacks substance in the mammal department. A little red squirrel is all we have found. My jaw suddenly dropped when I came across an online article
about California Sea Lions. The author lives on Vancouver Island and was writing about a recent trip to Fanny Bay, a place these fascinating marine mammals gather while awaiting the annual herring run feast. Knowing a 300+ pound mammal could be added to the list alongside the barely one pound squirrel was all the motivation I needed to plan an adventure to Fanny Bay. The California sea lions are visible from the government wharf alongside Hwy19 but just driving there and checking them out was not going to take all day nor was it very adventurous. So to fill up the day a family hike in the area was in the works after picking my jaw up off the floor. Approximately 3 km south of Fanny Bay is Rosewall Creek Provincial Park. A 54 hectare day use only park with a short wheelchair accessible trail that loops along each side of Rosewall Creek. There is another trail, leading under the highway bridge, 4 km upstream to a scenic waterfall which is where we headed. Knowing there would be spectacular views of the creek and a waterfall ahead was not enough to get the sea lions off my mind. All I could think about was getting an up close, personal view of these intelligent playful creatures in their natural environment. Until then, it was up to Rosewall Creek and its surroundings to entertain me. We chose this hike solely on its close proximity to Fanny
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Bay with no expectations of what we would see. It certainly delivered. Immediately the trial had us walking under the highway and through a tunnel. Bridges and tunnels are always an instant hit with the children and I was happy that we did not have to play Frogger crossing highway 19. As we continued on, traffic noise from the highway could be heard for awhile, making the outdoor experience feel less adventurous, but soon takes a back seat to water flowing in the creek. The path leading to the waterfall is within a second growth forest of Douglas Fir, Western Red Cedar, Sitka Spruce, grand fir and Western Hemlock. Mixed in between fallen trees or where sunlight reached are maple trees, red alder and a mix of forest floor fauna. Just about every tree trunk, rock and stump had some type of moss or lichen growing on it creating beautiful scenery. There were times the water running could barely be heard and then just up the trail the volume was turned up. I was tricked many times thinking it was the waterfall, only to see small rapids in the creek. We hiked past numerous mini pools formed by the creek. Perfect swimming spots except it was March, had snowed a few days earlier, and was now raining. An hour had passed and the children began to doubt our story of a waterfall and wondered where the sea lions were. It’s just around the next corner, (and hill, and stump, and corner again). How long are they going to buy that line for? Rosewall Creek waterfall did not disappoint. We admired it, snapped some pictures but now it was time to see what we came here for…right after we trek 4km back on a snow covered trail with two starting to get cold children. Hearing the traffic noise was now a welcome sound. The drive from Rosewall Creek to Fanny Bay was short, the rain started to fall harder and I just about drove right past the government wharf. Pulling into the parking lot I immediately saw a colony of 25 California Sea Lions resting on the breakwater booms around the wharf. Floating on a log boom farther out were another 60 sea lions closely packed together. The kids, needing no help in spotting them, were excited and anxious to get a closer look. So was I but before getting out of the vehicle, we had a quick chat about being quiet and moving slowly so we would not disturb the
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sea lions. As soon as we opened the vehicle door, sounds of playful barking and water splashing could be heard from the log boom floating farther out. We slowly approached the edge of the wharf and the breakwater boom where the sleepy heads gathered. Our presence was noted with firm loud barks. We were close enough and stopped to respect their space. Within a few minutes the California Sea Lions relaxed and returned to their afternoon naps. We witnessed a few sea lions pop out the water and hop onto the boom effortlessly and jostle for position. Further out, the seal lions were more active with loud barking and water slapping continuously. For twenty minutes we watched these marvellous marine mammals in their own environment, ending a perfect day of hiking and discovering life in adventure. Follow the adventures of Jill Collins (who hopes not to find a 300+ pound land mammal) and her family in their year long challenge to find five living things on every adventure. Check out the living things they found while hiking Rosewall Creek at www.wix. com/onthebeatenpath/on-the-beaten-path or Facebook fan page On the beaten path.
California Sea lions Opposite page: Rosewall Creek Falls Photos: Jill Collins
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Ladysmith Mayor Report
Living Green in Ladysmith BY ROB HUTCHINS, LADYSMITH MAYOR In North America the call for sustainable Rob Hutchins practices in community development first occurred in the 1970’s. Unfortunately, most citizens and most communities did not pay heed to the rising concerns about our collective impact on the environment until this last decade. We have begun to take some steps, big and small, but far more has to be done if we are going ensure our children and grandchildren inherit the world and quality of life that we have the privilege of enjoying. Towards Zero Solid Waste Until 1998 the Cowichan communities either burned our garbage in highly polluting incinerators or dumped our waste in the unlined Koksilah Landfill. In 1995, Ladysmith was the first community in the Cowichan Valley Regional District to begin community-wide curb side recycling pick-up and in 2005 the first in Western Canada to institute door to door collection of organics (compostable waste). These two measures keep over 60 per cent of Ladysmith’s waste stream out of the landfill (now located in Washington State). While driving up a hillside alley last week it was a delight to see the roadway lined with green organics cans and yellow/ blue recycling containers. The compost material made from our household organic waste can be purchased by the truck load at the International Compost Group (ICG) site in Duke Point. Water Use Reduction Canadians (per capita) are the second largest consumers of water in the world. The citizens of B.C. are the largest consumers of water in Canada, and until 2001 Ladysmith (per capita) was in the top ten percentile of users in B.C. In 2001 Ladysmith was the first community in the Cowichan Valley Regional District (CVRD) to install universal water meters. From 2002 to 2008 water usage dropped by 23 per cent, even with a population increase of 17% during the same period. Sewage Treatment From 1902 to 1966, untreated sewage was dumped into the inner harbour just south of the Fisherman’s Wharf. In 1966, the Town built a Primary Treatment Plant at the mouth of Holland Creek with a 2700 foot outfall. During the 1990’s, over a three year period, and at a cost of $3 million, we upgraded the sewer lines in most of the old town which reduced rainwater infiltration into our sewer system. Less rainwater meant the sewer plant could handle inflows 360 days a year rather than just 210 days a year. In 1996, the Town began to compost our sewer sludge with our yard and garden waste program. We stopped buying topsoil for Town parks and gardens and created our own. In recent years we have spent over $3.5 million on upgrades to the sewer plant. This year we will be completing our Liquid Waste Management Plan, which will lead the way to the installation of secondary treatment; a key ingredient for a healthy harbour.
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The Built Form of our Community From 2003 to 2007 the dramatic increase in housing developments caused concern among many residents that the face of Ladysmith was changing. Our own situation and the growing worldwide concern about greenhouse gas emissions, climate change, population growth, and energy and food supply led to the Ladysmith Sustainability Visioning Process in 2008. The many attendees at the seven workshops provided clear direction that our citizens wanted to move Ladysmith towards a sustainable future, and the Town is listening. Our communities need to be more compact, more dense, and higher if we are going to reach our goal. Energy Close to Home Finding clean energy close to home and reducing our carbon emissions is critical for the future of our community. We have just begun to experiment with alternative sources of energy. Solar-heated hot water was installed at City Hall. Council recently passed a Bylaw requiring that new buildings built in Ladysmith are ‘solar hot water ready’. We are exploring options for the installation of district heating (centralized heating for multiple buildings) along Sixth Avenue, our “Institutional Row”, which may use geo-thermal or wood waste as an energy source. Over the next 18 months, we hope to install a micro-hydro generation plant in the new water pipeline from Stocking Lake. Growing Food Close to Home It is my understanding that fifty years ago Vancouver Island produced some 60 per cent of its food supply; today we produce less than 10 per cent. The price of a basket of food is
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at an all time high and expected to climb. To encourage local food production, the Town turned many of our flower beds into vegetable gardens two years ago. Hundreds of pounds of fresh produced has been delivered to the food bank. Last year, the Community Gardens on High Street was initiated to foster backyard gardening. We have begun to take steps, but much more has to be done individually and collectively to ensure we leave our children a world fit to live in. Please visit the CVRD site www.12things. ca to find out how you can help. Town employees Karen Cousins, Tamie Nohr and Beverley Taschuk, pitch in to help plant vegetables in the former flower beds at City Hall.
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How Green Are We?
Water Concerns BY MARINA SACHT On April 22, we celebrate Earth Day. And as a billion people around the world celebrate our unique planet it’s a good time to reflect on the state of the environment. The Arlington Institution, a non profit research institute that specializes in thinking about global futures and trying to influence rapid, positive change has identified the world’s biggest problems facing humanity: Economic Collapse, Peak Oil, Species Extinction, Rapid Climate Change, and not surprisingly is a Global Water Crisis. “Over the last 50 years world population has nearly tripled, while industrial pollution, unsustainable agriculture, and poor civic planning have decreased the water supply.” That’s globally but what about locally? In the CVRD Environment Commission’s 2010 State Of The Environment Report Card the areas needing attention now are Overall Environmental Footprint (less than 8 per cent of the CVRD is protected), Biodiversity (coho, chinook, Garry Oaks, Douglas Fir and wetland ecosystems are at risk), and Population and Growth (low density increases reliance on vehicles and threatens waterways) Water is a concern in many areas. A Residents Committee on Water covering South Nanaimo
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to Ladysmith recently formed following a meeting held by Mid Island Sustainability & Stewardship Initiative (MISSI) in midMarch to meet requests following the public meeting of Feb. 24 that focused on the Yellowpoint and Cassidy aquifers - identified as being threatened by both quality and quantity issues in the recent Regional District of Nanaimo Snapshot Report on ‘Drinking Water & Watershed Protection’. The Nanaimo River watershed has the potential for significant growth in the future. The two main concerns in the area are groundwater supply in the Yellowpoint aquifer, and groundwater quality in the Cassidy aquifer. The Yellowpoint aquifer was ranked as the second highest priority aquifer on Vancouver Island by the Ministry of the Environment due to its low productivity, increasing population, and significantly dropping groundwater elevations. The Yellowpoint aquifer, which extends from Duke Point to the Ladysmith Harbour has dropped 13 meters since 2000. Residents expressed worry about water shortages, and recounted how local wells were going dry as well as some salination occurring. The Cassidy aquifer is a large aquifer but is highly vulnerable to contamination. The need for the regional governments of the RDN and CVRD to hold public meetings and to work together across jurisdictions to address these concerns was strongly noted. The Residents Committee on Water will be seeking funds to undertake public education efforts, while requesting local governments to undertake a survey of water issues, as well as wellmonitoring programs that will provide data on the state of local water supplies. The group welcomes your input. Meeting are monthly on the third Tuesday of each month, at the Cedar Heritage Centre. The next meeting will be April 19, 7-8:30pm. MISSI is serving as the interim contact, while the Committee is in process of firming up its structure and Board. For local reports on water, along with the minutes and summaries of recent local public meetings visit www.missimidisland.com. Above: Laurie Gourlay, president of MISSI. Photo: Marina Sacht Opposite page: Nanaimo River. Photo courtesy of MISSI
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Putting Special Places on the Map
Coastal Communities Biosphere Reserve project BY LAURIE GOURLAY Do you have a feel for the unique and special places around our homes and work here in the green lands between Ladysmith Harbour and Nanaimo Harbour? Are there overlooked points of interest, important historical, cultural and natural places? Or nooks and crannies tucked away in the corners of our neighbourhoods that offer interesting opportunities for an afternoon stroll or family picnic? Perhaps a winding, romantic drive through the countryside or along a backroad, or maybe a hike to an interesting
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site? We’d like to hear from you - and please send photos too. We’re looking to put a simple map and guide together that would offer everyone a chance to enjoy and learn about our home and communities in this mid-island region. This region’s special places offer exceptional outings, places to go and to learn about the history and culture, as well as quiet getaways and secluded beaches - an Island paradise just waiting to be discovered! Just as the Cowichan Land Trust (CLT) has done to the south we’d like to see a community mapping project take shape here - and we’d like you to help us identify the places that are important to you. CLT found that community mapping boosts the pride people take in their communities, and puts a perspective on their sense of place. And local government, developers and business like it too - letting them know what’s important to residents, and helping to shape planning for the region. Mapping special places helps everyone appreciate the diversity in their communities, as well as the local
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assets that are often overlooked. So, please let us know what’s special in your neighbourhood and across the region. Have a look on your road map, and explore...and let us know what you find. Late in September, just before BC Rivers Day, we’ll be pulling all the suggestions together, and holding a public meeting to show the results. We’d like to share the knowledge, protect our special places, and support efforts for community renewal and stewardship. We will be looking to partner on this project with local organizations and businesses, as well as government … TAKE 5 has already expressed interest in working with us on this project. Stay tuned for more to come. For more information midislandcommunities@shaw.ca, att’n Laurie Gourlay, on behalf of the Coastal Communities Biosphere Reserve project.
RDN’s Green Building Incentives
Starting on April 1, the Regional District of Nanaimo is introducing a $30,000 pilot Green Building Incentive program available to residents of the RDN’s Electoral Areas. Half of the funding will be distributed through an action specific incentive program, which encourages more green buildings and renewable energy systems. The remaining $15,000 provides incentives for new residential construction or major renovations through use of a sustainable development checklist. “The RDN Board has recognized that we have a great opportunity to encourage homeowners and owner-builders to invest in energy efficiency, emissions reductions and green buildings,” said RDN Board Chairperson Joe Stanhope.” Opportunities include $250 incentives for woodstove exchange, solar hot water system installation and graded site-cut timber, as well as a $60 incentive available to residents who complete a home energy assessment that results in an EnerGuide rating for that home. Funds are limited and incentives will be provided on a first come, first-serve basis. For more information sustainability@rdn. bc.ca or phone 250-390-6510 or 1-877607-4111. See www.rdn.bc.ca under Development Services—Sustainability.
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RDN - Area A BY JOE BURNETT Update Area ‘A’ Official Community Plan Review A community information meeting was held on March 7 at the Cranberry Hall, South Wellington. Approximately 30 people attended. No one spoke against the draft. The OCP Review Committee held their last meeting March 17 to review proposed amendments to the draft at third reading. A Public Hearing was held on March 28 at the Cedar Community Hall. A public hearing gives the community an opportunity to provide comments and concerns on the draft. This is important because the RDN Board can not consider
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any further comments or suggestions on the draft after a Public Hearing. To view the draft OCP please visit the project website @ www.asharedcommunityvision.ca . The draft OCP is scheduled to be submitted to the RDN Board for third reading on April 26. RDN Sustainable Development Checklist and Guide At the regular RDN Board meeting held March 22, the Board approved the revised Sustainable Check List and Sustainable Development Guide. The purpose of the checklist is to encourage and accelerate sustainable development in the RDN. It is hoped that applicants for new construction and renovations of residential, commercial and institutional development will take concrete
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steps to implementing the sustainable development practices. It is important to note that questions in the checklist are designed to encourage applicants to pursue sustainability measures that are above and beyond minimum regulatory requirements. The checklist should be included in development permits, development variance permits, temporary use permits, Board of Variance, and the building inspection process. This revised checklist is anticipated to streamline and simplify the development approval process in the RDN by reducing the amount of paperwork to be completed by an applicant. This checklist has been designed to work in tandem with a Green Building incentive program which the RDN Board also approved. The purpose of the
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program is to encourage more green buildings and renewable energy systems in the region’s Electoral Areas. The RDN will take an incremental approach to developing a green building incentive program to encourage the construction of new green buildings and the renovation of existing buildings to a green building standard. The incentive program is structured along two parallel paths: 1. a checklist incentive program and 2. an action specific incentive program. Under the checklist program applicants will score points for various items on the checklist. Applicants who complete the checklist would be eligible to receive financial incentives depending on the score. Action specific program applies rebates that assist owners of existing homes to upgrade energy systems including upgrading old wood stoves, installing domestic solar hot water systems, grading site cut timber for use in construction and conducting home energy assessments. April 9 is a community wide clean up day for Area ‘A’ If you live in Area ‘A’ and have noticed the ever increasing litter on the roads, trails and forested areas is reaching unacceptable proportions please come out and take part in the community litter pick up. Littering and illegal dumping is making a huge mess of our neighbourhoods and community members are taking a stand to clean up roads and back woods and to make a statement that they are not going to put up with it any more. Volunteers will be gathering at the Cranberry Fire Hall, South Wellington and at the Hallberg Road Fire Hall, Cassidy at 9:00 am April 9 where garbage bags and plastic gloves will be supplied. Personal safety wear, such as leather gloves would be a
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good idea as well as high visibility vests if you are planning to work roadside. If you have any questions or can supply a pick up to transport litter to the dump please call Krista at 250-2450440 asap. Cedar, Cedar by the Sea, Boat Harbour and Yellow Point residents who would like to volunteer to clean up these areas should gather at the NCID Fire Hall on Yellow Point Road @ 9:30 am on Saturday April 9 and bring gloves. Thanks to Emcon who is assisting with the project by supplying garbage bags as well they will be picking up the full bags after cleanup day. Please show your pride for our community by volunteering for the clean up projects. Contact Marlies at 250-722-3399 asap. Stay safe and have a Happy Easter. Joe Burnett, 250-722-2656; email: quaillanding@shaw.ca
CVRD - Area H BY MARY MARCOTTE Public Hearing Results: You may recall that on Nov. 4, 2010 two separate formal Public Hearings were held at the North Oyster Community Center. After consideration of the minutes from those hearings the following actions were taken by the Regional Board: • Bylaw No. 3421 – Climate, Land, Resources and Energy Efficiency (Bill 27): The purpose of this Official Community Plan Amendment Bylaw is to bring the North Oyster/Diamond Plan into compliance with Bill 27 of the Province of BC. Bill 27 requires that all OCPs contain greenhouse gas reduction tar-
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gets and the objectives and policies in Bylaw No. 3427 have been designed to move towards compliance with the Provincial requirements. The hearing minutes reflect that the attendees expressed concerns with issues that were not directly related to the bylaw under consideration as well as some concerns with wording in the bylaw. However, no one spoke in opposition to the bylaw; Bylaw No. 3421 was given first, second and third readings at the March 9 Board Meeting. • Bylaw 3405 – Habitat Protection Development Permit Area: The purpose of this amending bylaw is to amend the North Oyster/Diamond Official Community Plan by establishing the Habitat Protection Development Permit Area in order to protect Great Blue Heron habitat in the vicinity of Christie Road in the Diamond area of Area H. The hearing minutes reflect that the attendees expressed a number of concerns which include the following: the circle defining the development permit area is not correct and does not include the actual location of the rookery; history has shown that activity contrary to a development permit bylaw can take place with no consequences to the perpetrator of that activity; this bylaw offers some protection to the habitat but restricts the owner’s use with no reduction in taxes; there is another way to protect the herons that may be more effective, and most importantly, the owner of the affected property does not support the bylaw. Only two of the attendees – both of whom do not reside in Area H – spoke in favour of the bylaw. Bylaw 3405 was also considered for first, second and third reading at the March Board meeting. Only the nine Electoral Area Directors voted on this matter; four of them voted in favour of passing the bylaw exactly as it was drafted while five Directors voted to defeat the readings. One of the Directors who voted in favour of the bylaw went so far as to claim that he was “speaking for the herons”. It seems that the actions taken at the Board meeting has caused some consternation. Apparently, the foreign press (papers from the Duncan area) printed letters to the editor and articles chastising Area H residents for their lack of concern for the herons. The CVRD Environmental Commission even jumped into the fray with some stern comments. What these people fail to realize is that the residents of North Oyster/Diamond initiated the drive for protection of the Great Blue Herons. We understand and fully support the need to protect this blue listed species. What was not supported was the wording of this specific bylaw and the fact that it unreasonably
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restricted the property owner rights. To me, the Board vote indicates a great lack of understanding of fundamental North Oyster/Diamond principles and ideals. The fact is, the property owner has proven to be a great steward for the heron rookery, and the habitat is not at risk for the foreseeable future. In spite of knowing that there may be other ways of providing protection, four out of nine Directors were willing to force unreasonable restrictions on a property owner. That utterly amazes me. And it leads me to believe that democracy in the Cowichan Valley is in danger, and should be blue listed; it is in grave danger of becoming extinct.
CVRD - Area G BY MEL DOREY In recent months there has been an increasing number of ships anchored in Stuart Channel off Saltair’s shores. Apparently it is because there is a back up on wheat shipments coming in from the snowy prairies and points east. Also the ships are unable to load in rainy weather because it will ruin the wheat. One of the loading cranes at Roberts Point was disabled for a while which backed up the coal shipments as well. And to add to that there are some ships waiting for shipment to the Japanese disaster area. All told there is backlog of about 45 days to get loaded in Vancouver. Residents have complained about the noise of generators and lights shining brightly during the night. These are like factories that must keep running 24 hrs a day with lights on for safety reasons. We have asked the Ministry of Transport and the Shipping Agent to see if they can get the ships to anchor further off the shoreline and use the furthest anchor spots first. The Federal Ministry of Transport governs the placing of these ships in their anchor positions and are guided there by pilots that hop on the ships off Victoria for safe passage. The Island Shipping Agent out of Nanaimo places the ships in their designated areas. Inspectors from the Ministry of Transport also go aboard to inspect for safety issues. Agriculture Canada inspectors board as well to check for insects and diseases as grain is involved. Three years ago we had gypsy moths in Saltair that probably came from one of these ships. Agriculture
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Anchored ships in Stuart Channel. Photo: Mel Dorey
Canada sprayed the infected neighbourhood and we are rid of them now. Ag Canada is still monitoring the situation, but so far so good. Saltair has an unofficial dark skies policy where we don’t install street lights. So we are not used to bright lights. The only street lights we have are down by the foot of the lagoon hill on Chemainus Road which the Ministry of Transportation installed because of traffic accidents. The Highways paid for the installation of the lights and the operating costs as well. Recently the CVRD Planning and Development Department released their annual report for development activity in Saltair. There were 16 new houses built and 37 building permits issued in 2010. These permits were valued at $4,271,410. This is a record for Saltair as it is usually about one to two million dollars a year. There was only one new building lot created by subdivision in 2010 though. In theory this new development should help to reduce taxes next year. On the negative tax side Saltair gets about 15per cent of its tax revenue from forest lands and some of the forest lands are depreciated this year. The property next Byron’s store has another developer and partners interested in doing something with the property. They have made application for seven residential lots and one commercial building on the Chemainus Road side. They seem willing to give up 55 per cent of their property to Stocking Creek Park for community use. It will require some rezoning so there will be public hearing to review the application when it comes forward. Stay tuned.
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Prolonged Foot Trodden Maceration I have a confession to make. I don’t know how to operate my own TV. I can usually turn it on, but not always turn it off. Sometimes I can watch a video, but not always. Profanity is often employed. This lack of technical ability is not because I am extremely stupid. Not at all. I have been tested and deemed only moderately stupid. Part of the problem is that TV has never been my bailiwick. Even as a kid I didn’t watch much, my time instead was spent on more manly pursuits like napping and repeatedly asking, “When’s dinner?” Oh sure, there are men out there, all of whom receive pensions from Radio Shack who are in control of their home electronics. Unfortunately these men are not taken seriously because they all sport bristling pocket protectors and are always speaking about ‘hard drive’ this, or ‘gigahertz’ that. Trying to find someone over 55, this side of NASA, who can drop by their adult children’s homes and unattended watch the news is next to impossible. The first thing you notice when visiting your kids is that they can’t read any more. That’s because there’s no room on the coffee table for books or newspapers. Instead you’re faced with a towering stack of remotes, any of which can create audio visual havoc. The last time at our daughter’s I activated the garage door, caused the ice
machine to spit cubes across the kitchen floor, and got the adult entertainment channel blazing at the neighbours’ two doors over. This resulted in a family intervention where I was stripped of all remotes and put on the bus and sent home. Though you seldom read about it, economists are worried because 90 per cent of North American manufacturing capability is now occupied making audio visual remotes. If this worries you as much as it does me, you’ll be glad to know there’s a country out there taking a firm stand against modern technology. This country is Portugal where the time honoured practice of ‘prolonged foot trodden maceration’ still takes place. This is the ancient process of stomping the grapes in the initial stages of wine making. It is also a term used by marriage counselors to describe a marriage that has gone sour. This process takes place in stone largares, either an open fermenting container or the little known name of Spain’s Bruce Willis counterpart. “Okay Stone, put the gun down and get your grape stained hand off that woman’s breast!” In Portugal, there are no treadmills or
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gyms. When the need for exercise strikes, the locals head down to the corner stone largares, roll up their pants, and stomp on Touriga Nacional, the indigenous grape. This makes for healthy quads but very purple feet. This ancient process seems to be revered by the traditional port manufacturers as well as Portuguese producers of table wine. It’s also used in France as well as South American wineries although they’re not too big on it in California where athlete’s foot is more predominant. (Okay, so I made that last part up.) If Portugal can rebel against modern technology, so can I. While the rest of you sit on your spreading fannies, cursing at your remotes, I plan to do something about it. My first initiative will be FREE AMERICA OF REMOTES bumper stickers, followed by remote free zones and remote free communities. Next we’ll establish checkpoints on all the major roads where cars will be searched and stiff penalties enforced for those trafficking in remotes. Helping me in this endeavour will be none other than Stone Lagares who will be placed in charge of security. Stone will be responsible for rounding up all the community’s remotes which will be taken to the village square where all the heavier members of society will gather to have us a little old fashioned remote stomping. Only then will I have a chance of watching the news over at my daughter’s without adult supervision. After the remotes are stomped into a
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fine powder and made into a poultice which will be applied to all Future Shop sales people, we will have a big celebration where we will eat too much and wash it down with a little, inexpensive, Portuguese red, Vinha do Alqueve, 08, $11.00. Yes, the Vinha is made by the traditional prolonged foot maceration technique and if your liquor store doesn’t have some, tell them to order it, as one dollar off every bottle goes to my bumper sticker fund. Please be advised that this wine is European, leaner and drier than most produced in Australian or Argentina. When you’re at the liquor store, tell them Stone sent you. Delbert Horrocks is co-proprietor at the Mahle House Restaurant in Cedar.
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Avian Antics Sometimes there seems to be nothing to write about. Eric Nicol, a humourist and the late columnist with the Vancouver Province said “If all you have is garbage, give them your best garbage”. We also know that sex sells so sprinkle some of that in the garbage and you have a column. Perhaps it would be wise to rip this page from the magazine right now and don’t let your mother see it. The rites of spring are upon us. They are being observed by birds and animals all around us. What did you think I was going to write about? People have decided to be “civilized” and no longer observe these rites in public. Our ancestors did. The ancient Brits use to roll around together in the fields to promote crop fertility. Then along came Queen Victoria and other institutions and spoiled everybody’s fun. Birds especially were not influenced by the Queen and perform their rituals for all to see. The first to get started are the flickers. In early March they start drumming with their beaks on anything that makes a sat-
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isfying noise such as various parts of your house. Then they will wake you at dawn with their long cackling cry. Is this racket-that will go on for months-to establish territory or to attract chicks? The starlings are already thinking of nesting and are poking around in my flicker box. I have given up trying to keep them out. They move in way before the flickers have formalized their relationships and are ready to get down Varied thrush. to business. Photo Rob Pinkerton I have noticed that the varied thrushes do not whistle their clear single note to each other until early March. There are two pairs that come to our feeder and they got along fine all winter. Now they chase each other whenever they meet. The house sparrow or English sparrow was introduced by colonists in the New York area and they have spread over most of North and South America. One of the reasons for their success is that they behave in a very un-English like manner and breed a lot. The males decide very early in the year that the nest should be built and starts to harass the females. He is permitted to do the grunt work, like carrying the nest material. Then the missus takes over and does the decorating. Mr. Sparrow then follows his mate everywhere, doing a silly dance that is supposed to turn her on. He spreads his tail, pirouettes and chirps incessantly. She will get exasperated and turn on him, pull his tail and
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give him a severe thrashing. Eventually she gives in and they mate. After the kids are out of the nest, he immediately starts his routine again. This way they can get three nests done in a season. You have probably seen pigeons doing much the same thing...the male puffing up his chest and dancing all around a disinterested female. Men eh! It is all they think about? Have you ever seen two pileated woodpeckers chase each other around the trunk of a tree? This “getting to know you” ritual is very funny to watch. Bald eagles clenching and spiraling down from the sky are spectacular. I don’t know if they are mating or fighting. It looks like fighting but who knows. Have you ever wondered how hummingbirds manage? It is easy to anthropomorphize (there’s that word again) about crows. They will sit on a wire or branch and rub beaks and nuzzle like a couple of teenagers who have discovered what fun it is. The common loon lives up to its name this time of year. There is great deal of strutting and dancing which is fascinating to watch as it is done on the water. Then they chase each other (probably males chasing off other males) for hours. I have never seen the grebes do their mating dance except on TV but I imagine that those who live on the waterfront in Saltair can get a good look with binoculars. It is a spectacular and bizarre ritual. The boys rear up with outstretched wings, long necks and heads pointed skyward and run on the water. The girls seem to be impressed. Pheromones are in the air. Please try to be civilized. But then to heck with the Queen. Go for it.
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Apr 6, 6:30pm, N.C.I.D. Annual General Meeting, 2100 Yellow Point Rd., Cedar
Apr 17, 2 pm, Spring Choral Choir, Chemainus Seniors Centre
Apr 6-10, The Cowichan Valley Arts Council’s 41st Annual Fine Arts Show, Quw’utsun’ Cultural & Conference Centre 250-709-9927
Apr 17, 8am & 10am, Palm Sunday, St. John’s Anglican Church 250-245-5512
Apr 6-May 14, Speaker series “Discovering South Wellington”, Nanaimo Museum 250-753-1821
Apr 17,10am, Palm Sunday, Oceanview Community Church, www.oceanviewchurch.ca Apr 17, 5-7pm,Passover Supper, Oceanview Community Church, www.oceanviewchurch.ca
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Apr 6-20, Tumbleweeds (ages 2.5-5 yrs), Cedar Community Hall to register call 250-722-0123
Apr 1-23, Explorations - VIU Grad Art Exhibit and Sale, downtown Nanaimo Art Gallery
Apr 6-20, Girls Get Going(Ages 6-12 yrs), Cedar Community Hall to register call 250-722-0123
Apr 1-May 27, Zumba, Cedar Heritage Centre to register please call 250-722-0123
Apr 7,8,9, 7:30pm, Oliver!, Shawnigan Lake School, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529
Apr 1- 9, 8pm, 2pm (Sun), Over the River and Through the Woods, Bailey Studio 250-758-7224
Apr 9-10, 5:30pm, St. Joseph’s Barn Dance & Auction, Chemainus, 250-246 3191
Apr 1, 7:30pm, International Guitar Night XI, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529
Apr 9, 9am, Volunteer Cleanup of local areas call Krista 250-245-0440 ASAP
Apr 20, 8:30am-1pm, The Nanaimo Glad and Dahlia Society Annual Tuber Sale, Country Club Centre, 250-245-4231
Apr 1, Ryan McMahon and the Company Damn Tour Announcement In Honour of Megan McNeil, Duncan Garage www.ryanmcmahon.com
Apr 9, 8pm, Celtic Chaos, Dancing Bean, Chemainus 250-246-5050
Apr 20, 7pm, Town of Ladysmith Secondary Suites Forum #3, Aggie Hall 250-245-6405
Apr 9, 7:30pm, Nanaimo Sings! Gala Concert, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550
Apr 20, Easter Fun (Ages 2-5 years) Cedar Community Hall to register call 250-722-0123
Apr 9, 7pm, “Ed Peekeekoot” live music, Chemainus Seniors Centre
Apr 20, 11:30am, Soup & Sandwich, Chemainus Seniors Centre
Apr 9,9-1, Ladysmith Preschool Garage Sale, United Church Hall (High St)
Apr 20, 9:30am, Probus Club of Ladysmith, St John’s Anglican Church Hall, 314 Buller St. 250-245-5965
Apr 12, 7:30pm, April Wine, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529
Apr 21, 7pm, Maundy Thursday, Cedar United Church 250-740-5775
Apr 12, 7pm, Febe Dobson with guests- These Kids Wear Crowns, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550
Apr 21, 7pm, Maundy Thursday Service, St Philip’s Anglican Church 250-722-3455
Apr 1, 7pm, April Fool’s Talent Show, Cedar Community Hall 250-722-0052 Apr 2, 8am-1pm, Eagles 2102 Rummage Sale, Eagles Hall 921 1st Ave., 250-245-2447 Apr 2, 8am-4pm, Ride to Conquer Cancer Garage Sale, 618 Oakwood Road 250-245-3193 Apr 2, 7pm, Tommy Hunter, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 Apr 2, 7:30pm, Victoria Symphony Colin Tilney, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529 Apr 2, 7pm, Open Mic Song Writers Nite, Dancing Bean, Chemainus 250-246-5050 Apr 3, 2:30pm, Old Thomas & The Little Fairy, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 Apr 3, 1:30 to 4pm, What Can Ladysmith Do To Help Japan? Donate and participate in the dedication of donations received that day, Ladysmith Secondary School Apr 4, 7:30pm, Herman’s Hermits, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 Apr 4-Jun 6, Boot Camps Co-Ed Cardio and Core, Cedar Community Hall-register 250-722-0123 Apr 5, 4:30 to 6pm, Reception for “Discovering South Wellington”, Nanaimo Museum. Call 250753-1821 to RSVP Apr 5, 7pm, The Nanaimo Glad and Dahlia Society meeting, Paine Horticulture Center on E. Wellington Rd., 250-245-4231 Apr 5, Navigation with GPS, FJCC, Mount Brenton Power & Sail Squadron 250-245-6424 Apr 5, Boat Pro Course, Fuller Lake Arena, Mount Brenton Power & Sail Squadron 250-246-3811 Apr 6, Navigation with GPS, FJCC, Mount Brenton Power & Sail Squadron 250-245-6424 Apr 6, 7pm, Town of Ladysmith Secondary Suites Forum #1, Ecole Davis Road School 250-245-6405
Apr 13, 7:30pm, Classic Albums Live: Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529 Apr 13, 7pm,Town of Ladysmith Secondary Suites Forum #2, FJCC 250-245-6405 Apr 14-17, Aboriginal Film Festival, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529 Apr 14, 7pm, Benefit for Japan- Spring Musical, St. Joseph’s School Gym 250 246 3191
Apr 17, 2:30pm, Nanaimo Concert Band, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 Apr 18-20, 7pm, Evening Prayer, St Philip’s Anglican Church 250-722-3455 Apr 19, 7pm, Voices of Nature, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550
Apr 21, 7:30pm, Maundy Thursday, St. John’s Anglican Church 250-245-5512 Apr 21, Ryan McMahon and the Company Damn Tour- In Honour of Megan McNeil, The Queens Nanaimo, www.ryanmcmahon.com Apr 21, 7:30pm, Ladysmith Saltair Garden Club Meeting, First United Church Hall 250-245-5080 Apr 22, 7pm, Brent Butt, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550
Apr 14, 1:30pm, Vision Care, Ladysmith Resources Centre 250-245-3079
Apr 22, 3pm, Good Friday (The Celebration Of Our Lord’s Passion), St. John’s Anglican Church 250-245-5512
Apr 14, 7:30pm, April Wine, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550
Apr 22, 12-3pm, Meditation on the Cross of Jesus, St Philip’s Anglican Church 250-722-3455
Apr 15, 3-8pm, Ladysmith Home, Garden & Business Show, Aggie Hall 250-245-2112
Apr 22, 7pm,Good Friday Service, Oceanview Community Church, www.oceanviewchurch.ca
Apr 15, 6:30-9pm, Dive in Cinema Tangled, FJCC 250-245-6424
Apr 22-25, 10am-5pm, Cowichan Valley Artisans “all studios open” tour, CowichanValleyArtisans.com
Apr 16, 10am-4pm, Ladysmith Home, Garden & Business Show, Aggie Hall 250-245-2112
Apr 23, 11am, Ladysmith Lions Easter Egg Hunt, Transfer Beach 250-245-7977
Apr 16, 8pm, Aunty Kate and the Uncles of Funk, Dancing Bean Chemainus 250-246-5050
Apr 23, 10am, Music in the Park, Chemainus Water Wheel Park
Apr 16, 7pm, Upper Island Music Festival: Dance Gala 2011, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550
Apr 23, 8pm, The Great Vigil of Easter, St. John’s Anglican Church 250-245-5512
Apr 16-17,10am-4pm, Jonanco Hobby Workshop, 2745 White Rapids Rd.
Apr 23, 8pm Easter Vigil at St. Paul’s, Nanaimo, St Philip’s Anglican Church 250-722-3455
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Apr 23, 10am, Capriccio, Live at the Met in HD, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529 Apr 23, 7pm, “Happy Hans”, live music, Chemainus Seniors Centre Apr 23, 8pm, Paul Black Blues Band, Dancing Bean, Chemainus 250-246-5050 Apr 24, 7am, Easter Sunrise by the water at Blue Heron Park, Cedar United Church Apr 24, 7am Sunrise Service, 9:30am Holy Eucharist, St Philip’s Anglican Church 250-722-3455 Apr 24, 7:30am, Sunrise Service (Transfer Beach), Oceanview Community Church, www.oceanviewchurch.ca 250-740-5775 Apr 24,10am, Easter Service, Oceanview Community Church, www. oceanviewchurch.ca Apr 24, 8am & 10am, Easter Sunday, St. John’s Anglican Church 250-245-5512 Apr 24, 9am, Easter Sunday Service, Cedar United Church 250-740-5775 Apr 24, 10am, Holy Communion, St Michael Church 2858 Mill St. Chemainus Apr 24, 10am, Sunrise Service, Calvary Baptist Church 3318 River Road Chemainus Apr 24-Jun4, Steel Magnolias, Chemainus Theatre Festival 250-246-9820 Apr 25-May15, Brian March’s A Visit from the President, Ladysmith Little Theatre 250-924-065 Apr 26, 7:30pm, Houston Person, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 Apr 26, 7pm, Ladysmith Camera Club- benefits of RAW files, Hardwick Hall, info@LadysmithCameraClub.com Apr 26-29, May 2, Town of Ladysmith, Spring Clean-Up Week Apr 29, 30, 7pm, The Elves and the Shoemaker, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529 Apr 29-30, Island Celtic Festival, workshops, community concert, 250-245-5080 Apr 30, 7:30pm, Vancouver Island Symphony- Water, The Port Theatre, Nanaimo 250-754-8550 Apr 30, 10am, Il Trovatore, Live at the Met in HD, Cowichan Theatre 250-748-7529 Apr 30, Ryan McMahon and the Company Damn Tour- In Honour of Megan McNeil, Crofton Pub www.ryanmcmahon.com Apr 30, 8pm, Diana Braithwaite and Chris Whiteley, Dancing Bean Chemainus 250-246-5050 Apr 30- May 1, Freisens Annual Garage Sale, Cedar 250-722-2737 Apr 30, 1pm, Mother’s Day Tea, Brechin United Church, 1998 Estevan admission $ 6.50
For more events or to submit an event please visit our events calendar at www.take5.ca
TAKE 5
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CLASSIFIED ADS
TRADE: NECKY FIBERGLASS KAYAK 14’ 1” Elaho Sport 43 lbs like new for 16’ - 18’ fiberglass kayak also in good condition. 250-245-3103
PAINT & SAVE OPTION: Do it yourself, with a little help from a pro. Together we can make your job more affordable and accomplish a great look. Making the world a brighter place over 25 years. Call Harvey 250-245-2174
HIRE AFFORDABLE PROPERTY SECURITY An insured, bondable retired police officer will check your home and property when you’re away. Reasonable rates and free estimates. Call Tubbs Brothers today. 250- 751-9415
DRIVING LESSONS: Approaching Road Test time? Need an evaluation of your driving skills? Available: Emergency Maneuvers/Collision Avoidance Training. Car has Michelin winter tires. 49th Parallel Driving School 250-4161606 or 250-619-2713
AJ’S PLUMBING AND GASFITTING - Licensed - Bonded - Insured, Journeyman with over ten years experience. New construction, renovations, repairs and installs. Seniors’ rates, no travel charges. Call Aeron Jensen for a free estimate. 250-802-7123
DATA ENTRY Volunteer needed, preferably with library experience, at the Ladysmith & District Historical Society. Contact the office at 250 245 0100
PROFESSIONAL PET CARE SERVICE: leash em & walk em with Marlena. Insured & bonded. Animal First Aid and CPR. Service for all pets including dog walking, home care visits, overnight with pet in your home and much more. As my love is yours! 250-246-3394.
SERGE’S DRIVING SCHOOL has gone “GREEN to save you “GREEN”. Packages for all, road test service, STAY LOCAL, high success rate, do not settle for less, than the best. ICBC certified TRUSTED with over 10 years EXPERIENCE. Call Serge250-245-0600 GOT GRANITE? Have your Granite and Marble Countertops professionally sealed and buffed. Kitchens starting at $75. We do tile as well! SealTech Specialties Call Stuart at 250-734-2681 www.sealtechspecialties.com
HOME BUDDIES PET & HOUSE CARE since 1994. Licensed, Bonded, Insured. Professional, kindhearted, experienced & reliable care for all pets. Pet First Aid and CPR Certified. Certified Security Professional through Westguard Security. When loving care & security are essential, Peggy Wildsmith 250-245-0151 How is your Driveway? Have those
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concrete and asphalt areas patched. Seal your driveway professionally to prepare for the summer heat! Enhance your homes “Curb Appeal”. SealTech Specialties call Stuart 250-734-2681. LIGHTWORKS WINDOW WASHING and gutter cleaning. Careful and considerate. Call David 250-722-3599 BOBBY S MINIHOE & CLEANUP Landscaping, lot clearing, debris removal, excavating, small deliveries with dump trailer, mulch, lawn soil, garden soil, driveway chip, serving Nanaimo, Cedar, Ladysmith and area. Call Bobby 250-713-4970 OFFICE SPACES -Downtown Ladysmith, modern, ac, renovated, wired, reasonable rent or lease. 250-245-3395 THE HAPPY GARDENER, weeding, digging, raking, etc. Cheerful and conscientious. Call David 250-722-3599 BOWEN TECHNIQUE is a gentle soft tissue remedial therapy that resets the body to heal itself. Useful for joint, back and neck pain, frozen shoulder, asthma, chronic fatigue and many other problems. For information and appointments call 250-245-7738. Lilja Hardy FMBAC in practice since 1994. www. bowtech.com F/T OR P/T HAIRSTYLIST needed for busy downtown hair salon call 250924-3400
THINKING OF SELLING YOUR HOME? Perhaps ready for a fresher look in your existing home? The affordable design services provided by Rooms n Blooms can help. Call Shar at 250245-0548 or email shar@roomsnblooms. ca SPRING CLEANING! Walkways, Driveways, Gutters, Decks Moss, Algae and Dirt. We clean it all and then we seal it well. Be proud of your home. Technology is what we do. www.seicoat.com 250-816-5002 CEDAR HERITAGE BRIDGE GROUP CONTINUES PLAYING Tuesdays 1:30 - 4:30pm until further notice at Cedar Heritage Centre. 1644 MacMillan Rd. Cedar. Tea/coffee/laughs//fun. Information (250) 722-2656, 722-3546, 722-2813. EMERGENCY FIRST AID SERVICES is Ladysmith owned and operated. Red Cross First Aid and Worksafe BC first aid courses available. Check out our April schedules at www.efas.ca or call 250-893-3418 SEMI RETIRED MASSAGE THERAPIST working in Cedar By The Sea $60 an hour session. 8am to 3pm Wednesday to Saturday. 250-722-2669 LEARN A LANGUAGE : Sign up now for classes in French, Italian, Spanish, German, Japanese and Mandarin. Other languages available upon request. Small classes. Wentworth Court Language Centre, downtown Nanaimo. 250-716-1603 KAREN’S INDUSTRIAL SEWING, alterations and repairs, from Grad and Wedding to heavy work clothes and accessories. Can also do Manufacturing and Prototypes. 2nd Ave. Ladysmith. For appointment call Karen 250-2457945 ARE YOU CONCERNED? Hot flashes, sweats. Arthritis, colitis, bursitis, migraines, constipation, blood pressure, shingles, gout and tumors? Over 90% of diseases originate in our colons. Call Mavis for information re: Canaid & Yuccan 250-245-3054 mavis.clark14@ gmail.com
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TAKE 5
OVERCOAT Professional - Reliable - Reasonable. Operating 6 years in Ladysmith. No job too small. Will do minor repairs. Special senior rates. Call Heather McIntosh for a free estimate. 250-245-5557 SEASONAL GARDENING SERVICES now available. Pruning fruit trees and shrubs, waste removal. Lawn care and spring clean ups are coming soon. Call for estimates. Dunn Lawn & Garden. Fully Insured 250-618-6660 SUITE FOR RENT Bright oceanview basement suite, 1 bedroom, all utilities included. No smoking, no pets. $750/ month. 250-245-8388 COTTONWOOD GOLF COURSE is now hiring for golf operations, food and beverage, and administration. 250-2455157 12’ FG BOAT with TRAILER, needs work, but a great project. $350 obo. 250756-8892 for details and photos. 33’ ALUMINUM BOAT, commercial gillnetter, Tons of power, fast and ready to go. $35,000 obo. 250-756-8892 for details and photos. WANTED: ISLAND MADE Products for new online e-store. Arts, jewellery, clothing, books, foods. Email editor@ take5.ca for details. Include your website (if applicable) in your query. CLASSIFIED ADS work. Get them working for you. Next edition May. ads@take5.ca or 250-245-7015.
take5.ca
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From the book of rules Now, over here on the Other Side, we fully realize that rules are a necessity for a functioning and civil society to thrive and survive. For example, driving in one direction on the right hand side of the road and the opposite direction on the left side is a pretty good rule. Putting people in jail for murder or other violent crimes is another fine regulation. Shaking hands upon greeting someone rather than coco-bonking each other is another great custom. This isn’t to say, though, that all rules and regulations society heeds to are perfect. Protesters, activists, and even those of us here on the Other Side have taken delight in giving our smug society a tweak on the nose from time to
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time. It’s a good way to keep said society honest. It’s not the rules themselves that cause us problems, it’s when the rules change without us knowing they’ve changed that is more than a little irksome. Can someone please shine some light on the following examples of our rules changing? 1.) Now, we may be getting a little older here, but we distinctly recall this rule. When you are in a lighted intersection and wanting to turn left, it is okay to wait in the middle of the intersection and make your turn when it is safe to do so. If it’s busy and there’s no break in traffic, you wait for the light to turn yellow and when you see the oncoming traffic slow down, you make the turn. That rule has worked for many years. But just a couple weeks ago, we were driving south and there was a line-up of northbound vehicles waiting to make a left hand turn. Our light turned yellow, so we and the driver beside us began to slow down. The car in the intersection made their left, which was great, but what happened next had us scratching our heads. Not only did the second vehicle make the turn, but the third did, too. Three vehicles turning on
APRIL 2011
a yellow light? We started paying attention to this and noticed our experience wasn’t a one time thing. On a regular basis we noticed two and three of our fellow vehicles turning on a yellow light. Did we miss the memo that surely came out when this rule changed? 2.) Rock n Roll bands are supposed to break up. Fifty per cent of the time it’s because bands get popular and egos swell to the point that the lead singer and lead guitarist realize that they actually hated each other’s guts since the band’s inception. The other 50 per cent of the time bands go their separate ways because of death, drugs, or women, and not necessarily in that order. Imagine our surprise then, when we heard the rock band Paramore split up because of this: “Hayley Williams, lead singer of Paramore lyrics were blasphemous. For example, her lyric ‘the truth never set me free’ contradicts what the Bible says in John 8:32,” the drummer and lead guitarist who quit the band wrote on their blog as to why they left the band. Blasphemous lyrics? Really? If Ozzy Osbourne was dead right now, he’d be rolling in his grave. 3.) Speaking of music, when did the ‘F’ word begin to be allowed in popular song titles? We’re thinking of Cee Lo Green and Ricky Williams’ chart topping songs here and....actually, you know what? We really don’t have an issue with this one. We’re still pretty bugged about the turning left on a yellow light and the reasons for rock bands splitting up, though. Let’s right that ship, okay? If we allow our rules to be changed all willy nilly like this, there’s no saying where our supposed civilized and functioning society is headed.