STOP Looking for Love Tips for Online Dating Newbies in Making Meaningful Connections
TaLisa Sheppard
PMG Publishing House Gahanna, Ohio
DEDICATION To all hoping to find the one, may you have a blast on your online dating journey, learn more about yourself along the way, and experience a meaningful connection that leads to a lasting friendship.
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Stop Looking for Love
Love. We all want it. After you’ve been single for a while - you miss it. I’m not talking about intense infatuation or that TV kind of make-up break-up love that comes and goes with the wind, but true love. A love that’s romantic, unconditional, soulful, non-judgmental, a foundational rock, kind-of-love that’s hard and smooth at the same time. Hard, because you have to get out of its way, and smooth because with the right person – loving them just works. It’s the kind of love that’s mutual, genuine, committed and lasting. It doesn’t require perfection. It’s selfless, freely gives without keeping tabs and has a special way of boomeranging back, - touching your entire being.
Yep, that’s what I’m telling you to stop looking for. The key word is looking for – not longing for, not hoping for, not secretly dreaming of – just stop looking for it online. This could seem like a death sentence to the confidence of the eager romantic, who’s hoping to stroke a few keys and find their beautiful sweet princess or prince charming within the first few profiles views. A simple re-focusing of your energy away from love to something that leads to true friendship is the key to a successful online dating experience. If you are single (again) – then I hope that you have tasted of the goodness of real love. Many of us know that it’s not easy to experience this type of love mutually. I use to think I wasted precious time in previous relationships loving the wrong person. I’ve since grown to understand there is no waste in love. Now, I choose to take those experiences and let the wisdom I’ve gained from those relationships, be my path to peace in future friendships. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in love, to get married, or to be in a long-term partnership. I am encouraging you to not allow this to be your sole focus as you join the online dating community. Instead, I challenge you to let your focus be much simpler and your effort to be two-fold. First, simply aim to meet new people and secondly, try to establish a meaningful connection with a chosen few.
If finding love is your deepest wish, then establishing a meaningful connection is the means to that end. The best way to achieve this is by knowing your compatibility needs and learning how to effectively communicate.
Tip: Aim to Make a Meaningful Connection Expectation can be everything when you start this journey. Misplaced expectations can lead to hurt feelings and a bad experience. Going online to find love is too much pressure and can often cloud your judgment. If you are the type of person that has an active imagination and “falls in and out of love” easily, I would hold your horses and take a more practical approach to your online pursuits. A meaningful connection happens after you’ve passed the phase of fluffy introductory conversations, gazed at their photos, discussed your deal breakers, verified the chemistry, and have shared a significant amount of time developing a friendship. A true friendship – not the superficial associations that we make on Facebook and other social networks, but one that can lead to a relationship. Connections like this stand out from your other matches and rise above the rest of the fillers. You are going to meet a lot of people online. This type of connection may be far and few between – but they’re completely worth it.