Waking Moments

The day after burying her mother, Andrea King made a wish and blew out a number seven candle on her birthday cake. Despite, or perhaps, because of the circumstance, her father, Walter King, wanted to make sure they celebrated his youngest child’s birthday. His wife, Camilla, was central to their family. Now with her gone, life as they knew it, will never be the same. He was responsible for defining their new normal and in it, his children would have stability and love.

“He spent quality time with us. The weekends were great, and I have fond memories of movies, beach outings and playing games. Even though he had an at least 45-minute commute both ways to work, he always felt present. We grew up in the same house that he lives in now. We did not move around, so I would cherish that part of my childhood. And to this day, I am still friends with people I met in the third grade. This is because my dad made sure we all felt like family.” Andrea, a very outgoing and active child, would be involved in clubs, cheerleading and even student government from as early as third grade.

Fast forward more than 40 years later, and today Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare’s Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Andrea Friall, reflects upon how that precious time in her life helps balance her family and career. Her dad’s deliberate effort to be there for her and her siblings is the reason she takes what she calls a “waking hours approach” to being mother and wife.

“There are, but so many hours in the day that our family is awake. We have to make the most of them – make them as meaningful as possible. Even when I was delivering babies and taking in-house overnight call four to six times a month, I tried to make sure that I balanced that time. I made the adjustments I needed to make in order to be available when my daughter and husband were awake.” As did her dad, she puts so much emphasis on quality over quantity.

“My daddy showed me that all we really need is love.” She knows that there are so many men out there raising their kids alone, and she would love to support an organization that supports them.

Despite her dad’s efforts, navigating adolescence without her mother was still tough at times. Andrea took to journaling to help her sort through her feelings. “Growing up in Central Florida, I was often the “only”...only girl or only black. It could feel very lonely, but as I grew up and reflected and read my journals, I realized how alone I felt. But the reality is that you are not alone. We create those barriers which isolate and cause self doubt.”

Writing became her refuge. So did reading, and she became enamored with Toni Morrison and Zora Neale Hurston. Over time, her taste in literature varied. On her bed stand right now are books, Jay Asher, Kristin Hannah, Harriet Washington, Jacqueline Woodson and of course, Morrison and Hurston. The subject matter ranges from African American culture to effective leadership and medical apartheid.

Having those avenues to express herself and escape is one of the reasons Andrea has such a passion for the arts. “Art is such a beautiful way to express yourself. I don’t have a single lick of talent,” she admits. “But my daughter does. She can count through her feelings on the piano or dance them out in ballet. I love that she has the ability to express herself through her talent.”

While she did not inherit a gift for performing arts, Andrea did develop a penchant for science and math. Those skills would prove foundational for her decision to pursue a medical degree. Years later, when she’d be in medical school at Howard University, she’d see how combining compassion and surgical talent could make a difference in the lives of others.

Raison D’etre

Andrea would enroll at Florida State University because she was familiar with Tallahassee. It was her dad’s hometown. They travelled there on weekends, holidays and for family gatherings. She would have a village there and her sister, Audrey, had gone to FSU a few years before.

Audrey was and still is Andrea’s biggest cheerleader. In fact, when she learned that TWM wanted to share her sister’s story, she brought out a faded newspaper article announcing Andrea’s arrival to Tallahassee and the position she took at North Florida Women’s Care in 2001. She even had the essay Andrea wrote to apply for her OB/ GYN residency. Perusing those artifacts, reminded Andrea how she did not deviate far from the path and purpose. “As I read through the essay I wrote in 1996, not much about me has really changed internally. I feel I have stayed true to my path of caring for people, helping the vulnerable have a voice, and finding strength in working with others, especially women and mothers.”

At FSU Andrea excelled academically. She developed life-long friendships and an unbreakable bond with her sisters in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. The organization would reinforce her commitment to community service. She recalls helping mentor youth and organizing baby showers for teen mothers.

During her senior year at FSU, while in the process of submitting applications to medical school, tragedy hit their family again. She received news that one of her brothers passed away. She contemplated not going to medical school after that. True to form, her dad intervened. “My father reminded me of how proud my brother was about my plan for medical school and that I should go no matter what.”

She continued her pursuit, and family, friends, and sorority sisters helped her through the grieving process. So did “a mature, respectful and driven” guy named Eric Friall. They met in summer 1989. She really liked him, but figured he was not going to remember her in the fall. “I knew I liked him. We had common goals. He was very respectful. Being nice came so natural to him.” Needless to say, when the fall semester rolled around, he remembered her and he has been a main part of her life ever since. “He has known my 18-year-old me, 30-year-old me, 40-year old me. And now the almost 50-year-old me.”

Eric would be the key witness to Andrea’s journey of finding her purpose and raison d’etre. Howard University’s medical school was one of the most significant stops. Tulane University, where she did her residency, would be another.

At Howard, she became active in leadership and in the community, where she began working with patients with HIV/AIDS. During this time doctors were getting their first effective treatments and were gaining an understanding of the disease. She saw the full spectrum of life - people dying and moms bringing new life into the world. She has also saw how science and hope in humanity make a difference. “Watching kids die of AIDS left an indelible imprint on my soul. But now we are able to counsel HIV positive moms that they could have a successful delivery of an unaffected child with proper treatment. Teens can see adulthood and live a productive life. Believing in the ways science and technology can bring about change and having hope in humanity are my “why.”

Breaking Barriers

When she finished her residency, it was an easy decision to determine where she would live out her calling - Tallahassee. As a new professional, she appreciated the community in ways she did not know as an undergraduate student. It is a small, big town with a diverse and educated community. She would have access to all the rich cultural experiences that Florida A&M University, FSU and Tallahassee Community College have to offer. FSU was starting its medical school, and she was excited to be a part of it. With Tallahassee being the capital city, she would have access to legislators and policy makers daily and could advocate for women’s health. It was close to family as well. Her dad was in Orlando, and Eric’s parents were in Jacksonville.

Andrea joined North Florida Women’s Care as its first African American woman obstetrician and gynecologist. By now, she was used to being a first and overcoming the barriers that come with it. Growing up, hers was one of the first black families in their neighborhood. She was one of the first black cheerleaders on her high school squad. She became the first black Homecoming queen.

By now, she knew all too well how preconceived notions on race and gender can play themselves out – like when a group of parents bombarded the school with phones calls in protests against her winning high school Homecoming Queen. By now, she’d encountered personal and work-related crises. Despite or perhaps because of the adversities on her journey, she developed a life philosophy around hard work, honesty and humanism that chipped away at boundaries. “Breaking the barriers to get there is the challenge we face. You must acknowledge the existence of racial disparities and inherent biases. Then allow yourself to be open enough to recognize and respect someone’s talent and differences. That is a part of the journey.”

Three Hurricanes, a Tropical Storm and a Pandemic

That was in 2001. In 2016, after delivering thousands of babies, performing hundreds of medical procedures and receiving awards and recognitions too numerous to name here, she would advance to becoming the Chief Medical Officer.

She took on the helm of this leadership with a storm - literally. When she started her new duties in a part-time capacity in October, hurricane Matthew slammed the coast of Florida. It would become a harbinger of how each of her work anniversaries would start. Around the same time the next year, Irma hammered the city. Then came Michael in 2018. In 2019, Nestor threatened to become a hurricane, but it dwarfed into a tropical storm. During that year she closed the obstetrics arm of her practice and transitioned to a full-time administrative role.

Now, in 2020, she is dealing with a different kind of disaster - a pandemic called COVID-19. It would test her in ways she had not been challenged before. It gave a feeling that was strangely familiar to the one she had the day after she blew out that number seven candle. Life, as she knew it, would never be the same.

I asked Dr. Friall specific questions about how she is dealing with COVID-19 as a doctor and leader. I’ll end here, with her own profound words.

How have your experiences prepared you for this pandemic?

Nothing can truly prepare you. Crisis management however is not new to me. As an OB/GYN we are trained for split second decisions and realize the impact that you may be having on not just the mother but the baby and loved ones. Few outside of what we fondly call “ob/ gyn world” truly understand. I can function for over 24 hours at a time because that was how I was trained. I was trained to not leave until all the work is done and truly respect that there is no “I” in team. So the hurricanes and storms were not new to me or the organization. The devastation is heart wrenching. It is at that time that everyone should roll up their sleeves and just get to work. No time to look around and see who is doing more. We simply support one another and get through the crisis. With a storm you may know it is coming, brace for it, get through its wrath and then rebuild.

During this crisis, what leadership skills have you used that women can learn from?

Accept your vulnerability. As physicians we are expected to be perfect; however, the practice of medicine is not perfect. Even when you rely on your training and evidenced-based medicine, you cannot always manage the outcome. We go to work everyday to do a perfect job, not a great job. We have to set realistic expectations and find ways to channel energy. For me I try to exercise (emphasis on try), try to cook (my family would say emphasis on try), and try to enjoy time with my family. Live in the moment and let the past stay there. Only bring the lessons learned forward.

How has this crisis changed your perspective on the way health care will be delivered from now on?

The Coronavirus Pandemic does not care what processes we have in place for public safety. It does not have a timeline. The virus is here to stay, and we are learning as we go. We have to trust the science, but it is science that is evolving. This is a time where we have to realize more than ever that the actions of an individual can negatively impact the lives of hundreds.

I also see a change in the way we will be using technology. Because of the current pandemic, doctors had to find a way to “see” patients without putting themselves or the community in harm’s way. By simply connecting with patients through telemedicine, we are touching lives without “touching” lives. The usefulness of telemedicine has never been more prevalent than now and hopefully our legislators will continue to support this important healthcare delivery tool.

What advice would you give the community about handling the pandemic?

Be prepared and accepting of the new normal. Tallahassee is in an isolated part of the state. We are going to have to really depend on each other’s strengths. I have learned that in this community people do step up. Everyone’s strengths make for the collective success. As a community, we will only be as successful as the people around us (who) are willing to change and be accepting of new things.

I have been blessed to work with my TMH family and other outstanding community leadership who understand that together we can make an impact on how this virus strikes our community. One of the biggest challenges is making sure the truth is shared with the community, which is challenging when what was a fact yesterday may no longer be a fact in a week. This is where using your voice in elections is imperative. We trust our elected officials to build knowledgeable teams to get us through a crisis like this one. No one is perfect and true leaders know when to ask for and accept help.

Tallahassee Woman Magazine uplifts women and girls like your daughter, Camille. When you reflect upon all you have experienced, including now during this pandemic, what is important for them to know?

Always cheer for the girl and uplift one another. Believing in yourself will inspire others to believe in you also. Simply being kind can mean the difference between someone else moving forward with their dreams or stopping short of them coming to fruition.

Finally, what do you want to be when you grow up?

I love how former First Lady Michelle Obama attacks this question when she suggests we should not ask kids what they want to be when they grow up as if they only get one chance to get it right. I believe that life should not be wasted. I realize it is truly easier said than done to step out into the unknown and follow a dream. But it brings me back to what my dad would say to us growing up...make it mean something. So, as I continue to grow, I am not sure where my journey will lead me, but I plan to make it mean something.