LEGAL WRITES: DANA BROOKS

From the desk of

Dana Brooks

DANA@FASIGBROOKS.COM

GIRL, CAN WE TALK?

Ah, is there anything better than being in the love bubble? That phase of a relationship right at the beginning when you’re certain you’ve found “the one” and you can’t wait to start your life together. But ardor cools over time and it’s easy to find yourself feeling stuck. Other times you start to observe changes in your partner’s behavior that concern or downright scare you. You find yourself wondering how you ever got into this mess.

When you love someone, you want to help them. But something as simple as loaning them your car or renting one for them in your name can turn into a liability nightmare should they injure someone or get caught committing a crime while operating the vehicle. If they get caught dealing drugs out of your vehicle, for instance, you could have to forfeit your vehicle and property, even if you ultimately are not convicted. It’s nothing to mess around with.

Everyone knows one home is less expensive than two, so it’s common for partners to start cohabiting to cut down on expenses. But be very careful here. Once someone moves into your home, it’s not so easy to kick them out, even with a written lease agreement. There is a strict process in Florida for evicting someone. Even if you see it as an act of kindness on your part, the law may see your partner as having rights as a resident. This can make for a very unpleasant home and uncoupling process. Similarly, if you own a home prior to marriage and you and your spouse live there during the marriage, you cannot simply assume that s/ he has no rights to anything associated with the home. Without a prenuptial agreement, any appreciation in the home between the date of the marriage and the date of divorce may be considered marital property. In a housing market like we’re experiencing right now, that could be a significant amount of money you have to pay in the divorce. If you don’t have the funds, you may have to sell your home to pay your partner’s share or take out a loan.

Worst case scenario, you realize this person is truly dangerous and involved in some bad stuff. You may be afraid to leave because s/he’s made credible threats to you and your family. Maybe they’ve gotten violent with you or begun to psychologically abuse and terrorize you. You may exhaust your friends and family by continuing to take this person back, despite their abusive behavior. You may find yourself alone and even more dependent on your abuser because they’ve removed you from your entire support system. S/he might be into criminal behavior that puts you and your children in real danger. Or maybe they’ve done something truly horrible and are asking you to cover for them or hide them from authorities. Before you go down that dark road alone and let your love for someone else ruin your future, get help. Refuge House is an excellent resource but there are others as well. Help is out there. Never, ever give up.