I decided to write you a letter after a year which has spurred so much reflection both internally and externally for all of us. I know with great certainty who I love the most in this world and that is my family. To that end, there is no stronger pillar in our family than you. It is through you that so many of my most cherished family memories are constructed: chasing balloons down the stairs with Curb, pesto and cheese from the microwave... hey, I didn’t say they were all good memories! Or, meeting Alex when she was just a baby and seeing the joy in all of the mothers at that time. You have done so much to shape each of our lives. I asked everyone to take the time to write down some of the ways you have impacted them. I’m up first..
My Dearest Grandma, There is not an era of my life that is not filled with so many amazing times with you. From all of the sports, to skateboarding and art school I could always count on you to be there for me and you always have been. I’m so frustrated with the current state of the world because it has been so hard to be there for you as you have entered into a new era in your life. I’m sorry for this and I hope you know how often I think of you and how eager I am to see you soon and have face to face conversations. I love you so much grandma, you have been a best friend, a mentor and a helping hand to me always. There are a few stories that I constantly look back at in my life that come from you and I want to share how they have influenced me. A little discipline goes a long way I will never forget the way you quit smoking after picking me up from school one day and hearing me say “if you don’t quit smoking you wont be able to come to my soccer games anymore”. You dropped a 40 year habit cold turkey so you could be there for your family. You put all of us before yourself and I think of this everyday. You also never missed a game. As I have worked to improve my health through diet I used this moment as motivation whenever facing a craving. I have lost 50 pounds and have never felt better. I owe so much of this to you for the discipline you taught me through this action so many years ago. Be curios and follow your passion I remember you telling the story of arriving at college and wanting to study architecture only to be told women were to be nurses and teachers. Though the times were such that you followed suit and became a teacher I think it was bad ass that you wanted to study architecture and truly believe that your asking the question helped pave the way for the brilliant women I work with today. You have always had a curiosity to learn about the world, see new things and be inspired. You taught me to not take no for an answer and to keep pushing the boundaries when I am passionate about something. This mindset has brought me everything, it allowed me to follow skateboarding when my parents would have preferred football, it allowed me to change directions in college and find a career I love, and I still think of this daily as I work on improving at poker. Find joy in bringing others happiness Maybe the most valuable lesson you’ve taught me over the years is how doing for others enriches ones own life. There are too many instances of you doing this to narrow it down to one story but one recurring action sticks out. Soooo many skateboards, so so many. I can’t begin to explain the joy these boards gave me over the years. It was the one thing that kept me sane no matter what was going on in my life and you never let me go without one. I now serve on the board of directors for the Access Gallery, a non-profit that helps young people with disabilities find economic opportunity through art. Each time I donate supplies I see their faces light up the way mine used to when you would get me a board and I’m so grateful you taught how giving to others feels so incredible. I will continue to learn from you and grow, these examples are just a few of thousands of examples that show how you helped shape my life and I can’t thank you enough. You are the best. Love, Brooks
Grandma, This past year has presented a ton of challenges, but not being able to see you has been by far the hardest one. I love you so much, and we have spent so much time together over the years I never I realized how much I took it for granted. I have been fortunate to have you so close and involved my entire life. I look back, and I think how you never missed a school or sporting event, the endless hours chauffeuring me around town hunting down baseball cards and CD’s, working on little projects you would create to help me out at your old house, you have always been constant in my life. You have helped and supported me through every endeavor and crazy idea I ever had. You offer unwavering support, and I can’t thank you enough for it. Your thoughtful and selfless, kind and generous and I’m lucky your my Grandma. I can’t wait to wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug I can. I love and miss you. Travis
Dear Mom, Now is the perfect opportunity to thank you for the endless things you have done for us over the years from running our errands, buying baseball cards, carpooling our kids around, and all of the endless acts of kindness. You were always there for our children, and for us. We could never repay you. We share a love of history, Treasure of Oak Island, old movies, and old music. Remember the Glenn Miller Band? And you have always been my biggest cheerleader when it comes to racing. It’s not every motherin-law that would feel that way. I have always been so grateful for your support. Just like my mom has been to Jo, you have been like a mother to me for over 40 years!! I love you and I miss you. We are looking forward to swapping some stories again soon. Love, Jim
Dear Mom, Words cannot describe how tumultuous this last year has been for you. And while we have had a few rough moments, I am so grateful that you seem to be at a good place. I pray that you have found peace in your new home and can enjoy the assistance that it provides, so that you may now spend time relaxing, which you so richly deserve. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. You will be able to get out more, you will be able to spend time with your family. You, as well as the rest of the world, have been robbed of those moments. While it is a sad time in our history, you have heroically adjusted to life in your new home and life with COVID. I am so looking forward to the time when we can share our lives again. I hope you know how much we love you. I pray that you understand how hard we are trying to do the right things by you. While your health and safety are important, your happiness is so much more critical. I hope you realize that all of those things are at the forefront of our thoughts. I am so grateful that you are my mother. You have always been there for me, not matter what, and that is so comforting. I am a very blessed daughter. Thank you. I love you so much, Mom. Jo
Grammy, First off, I love & miss you. Second, I want to thank you for everything you have ever done for me. Something that has always stood out to me Grandma, is that you always seem to put others before yourself. You’re selflessness and generosity is something that I truly admire. You have impacted my life in so many positive ways and for that, I thank you. You raised two incredible women, both kind, compassionate, honest, hard-working, intelligent and beautiful. I wonder where they got it from? I can only hope to become a person like you. Merry Christmas Grandma, you are truly one of a kind. I love you, Michael
Grandma, This year especially, as we’ve watched the world change so much and so quickly, I’ve learned the importance of an open mind and a big heart. There is a great value in being willing to love and accept anyone. As I get older, it is something I appreciate so much in people, and especially in my mother. She has always been so selfless and caring, and steadfast in her response that she “learned it from her mother.” My mom’s penchant for hard work, persistence and refusal to give up on the one’s she loves are qualities she has always told us come straight from you. They are qualities that make her a wonderful mother and extraordinary woman; and qualities [I hope] she’s passing down to me. Without my mom, and without you, I would not be the person I am today. There is so much about myself that I know I have you to thank for, Grammy. I have a great role model, because you were the original. Thank you for being the most unconditionally loving and supportive grandma out there. I love you and Merry Christmas!! Love, Alex
Mom, Merry Christmas to the best mother-in-law around. You have made me feel like a part of the family since day one. We are a reflection of our parents, and you raised two tremendous daughters. I have appreciated all the love and attention you have bestowed on our children. You never miss an opportunity to spoil them, and let them know how much you love them. You have always been the favorite ‘Grammy’. And I must note, you are one of my favorite clients! You always go with the program, and let me do my thing. I appreciate it! Merry Christmas! Mike
Dearest Mom, Merry Christmas! The current state of the world has afforded us a great deal of time to reflect on what we appreciate, what we have taken for granted, and what we are grateful for. This is an opportunity for us to focus on what is truly important, and tell those that mean the most to us, that we love them. I love you Mom. I have missed seeing you. I have missed being able to hug my Mom. Yet, there has been a silver lining. I have spoken with you almost every day, and many times, multiple times a day. I have loved our conversations, we have chatted about everything and nothing, and it is all meaningful to me. Our lives have been reconnected as if I am still sitting at the kitchen table and the comfort of our words makes the distance seem less so. Mom, you have supported me in ways I did not always recognize, yet have such a deep appreciation for, now. You didn’t watch me follow my dreams, you followed them with me. You sacrificed, time and time again, without complaint, you gave so much of your own life, to help me pursue mine. How often did you give up your own needs to make sure mine were fulfilled? Countless times. You guided me with an abundance of patience and a quiet fortitude I have tried to emulate. I deeply believe in the power of unconditional love, and I learned that from you. I am grateful. As I reflect on my journey as a mother, I am forever reminded of your influence. You taught me not settle for anything, and that failures are fine, sometimes more important than successes; the real tragedy is never trying. You were my biggest fan, regardless of outcome, you always believed in me. You taught me to know my worth, regardless of whether it was recognized or not, as the value is not in the recognition. I have tried to teach my children the values I learned from you. I hope my legacy is that I loved my family dearly and in return was loved by them, that it is certainly yours. It is a bit of an epiphany when you come to terms with the fact that your mother understands you better than anyone, and that regardless of where you are in your life, you still crave a bit of approval and understanding. To this day, I can recite your value system, even if it has to be decoded. “Take a nap, it cures all.” Or, get some rest, allow yourself time to rejuvenate, you give, allow yourself to take, even for a moment. “Close counts”. Or, don’t get caught up in arbitrary perfection, let yourself off the hook, the sentiment is the same, the execution isn’t nearly as important as you think.”. I heard you Mom, I heard you then, and I hear you now. You did your job so effectively, all you have to do is raise an eyebrow or change your tone for me to know. I appreciate all the subtleties, and the constant care. Again, I am grateful. It’s an odd evolutionary lapse that even the most powerful of human emotions (love) can, in any given moment, be trumped by irritation. But really, perhaps that is the ultimate compliment. I can push back and be prickly, safe in the warm belief that all my feelings, grand and small, are real, and that you Mom, always make me feel better. You are special. You are appreciated. It is nice to be reminded of how much you are loved, and Mom, you are loved. Please know that while we cannot be together, you are always in my heart, and I plan on keeping you there. I love you. Cannot wait to see you, but until then, Merry Christmas! Love, Robin