How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series
Receiving Feedback
So why is it so difficult for us when we
Hello there friend!
know we have an upcoming review?
I'm excited to share the next article in my series, How to Lead as a Woman Physician…! I thought we’d talk about receiving feedback today – as this is one of the toughest and most challenging experiences for so many of us. If you are human, feedback – especially negative feedback – can be hard. And if you are a woman, and a woman physician, even harder.
Why are we filled with so many challenging emotions? (i.e. dread, anxiety, and fear) It goes back to the very beginning, to how we were raised, socialized, and expected to act and behave as young girls. What was the role of feedback and approval, in your own childhood experience? If you’re anything like me, then you may have been a total pleaser, a
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series “goody goody,” always seeking and
Medicine to me is interesting to reflect
trying to receive the approval of
on. Think back on your years of
teachers, parents, and adults around
medical training. How often did you
you. I was the perfect little girl and
receive positive feedback? Negative
teenager – obedient, didn’t talk back,
feedback?
always followed directions, did my homework and chores without a word,
Our culture of Medicine is rigorous and
practiced my instruments on my own
biased toward making us the best
for hours, and always the “teacher’s
doctors we can be – absolutely a good
pet.” My Taiwanese upbringing further
thing as we are caring for people and
compounded this – Asian girls are
their lives. But feedback in our
expected to always be “a good girl.”
medical culture is rarely done in a way
And of course, a straight A student (A
that is positive or constructive. The
plus, obviously!). Extra credit? Always!
delivery of the feedback is critical, and if the person sharing the feedback is
How about you?
not skilled – and if there is power distance between you and the person
It’s no wonder that the role of
sharing the feedback which is usually
feedback and approval is so
the case – then feedback can come
emotionally charged for us as adults.
across as punitive.
We’ve spent decades of our lives seeking the approval of others. And
Morbidity and Mortality (M&M)
when we don’t get this approval, it’s
conferences historically are the
more than deeply personal, it
strongest, most public display of
threatens our internal sense of our
feedback we experience in Medicine.
own worth. Our safety and value are
M&Ms are supposed to be a learning
threatened.
opportunity for all of us when cases go wrong, instead they are a cautionary
Then we go through our medical
tale of “don’t you dare mess up or you
training. The role of feedback in
will be next,” and publicly humiliated
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series and shamed for your mistakes in front
1) Feedback only tells you about the
of everyone to see.
perspective of the person giving the feedback.
So, no wonder, feedback is so scary for
“Feedback doesn’t tell you any facts
us!!
about you; it tells you something about the perspective of the person
What can we do to begin to change
giving the feedback.” – Tara Mohr
this? Tara Mohr writes an excellent chapter The reality is that feedback – positive
in Playing Big – my favorite chapter –
or negative – is invaluable information
titled “Unhooking for Praise and
for us. It tells us the preferences and
Criticism.” I highly recommend this
perspectives of others and can help us
chapter (and book) to all of you!
to identify blind spots and become better versions of ourselves. Receiving
Remember that feedback is merely
feedback is critically essential to our
someone’s perspective and
development as leaders.
preference. Positive or negative.
Ultimately, no one has the power to
Unconscious bias may absolutely be
determine our worth – other than
part of this feedback, as we all have
ourselves. And this is the key to
biases and blind spots that we are
receiving feedback and emotionally
unaware of as human beings.
unhooking from both praise and
Feedback may feel personal – but
criticism.
remember that it is merely someone else’s opinion.
Here is a process I would like to share with you to consider:
2) What is the Learning for Me? What in this feedback is relevant to you? What is the learning here for you? Even when we may completely Tammie Chang, MD, LLC
How to Lead as a Woman Physician Series disagree with feedback we receive,
I want to leave you with one final
there is usually a shred of truth, or a
quote. It was one of my favorites long
small nugget we can takeaway that is
before it became popular on the
important learning for us.
Netflix show Ted Lasso (also one of my all-time favorite TV shows)!
I challenge you to find the small (or larger) piece of truth in the feedback
“Be curious, not judgmental.” – Walt
you receive. What can you do to
Whitman
improve? As you prepare for a review or meeting 3) Retake Your Pen.
where you are likely to receive
Remember that the preferences and
feedback, remember this quote. How
opinions of others have nothing to do
can you approach this meeting with
with your worth. You are an adult now.
curiosity?
You are not a five-year-old girl anymore. You, get to hold onto your
We will continue with how to give
pen – your power to write your own
feedback (with curiosity, empathy,
story and worth – not someone else.
and compassion – and not judgment)
This goes for both positive and
next time!
negative feedback. When you find yourself feeling triggered emotionally
You can earn up to 1.0 AMA PRA
in the setting of feedback, take 3 deep
Category 1 CMEs credits for reflecting
breaths, pause, and retake your pen.
on this article here:
It’s ok for you to share your story, and
https://earnc.me/uxEpxE
your own perspective, here too. And, in a way that is not defensive. Remember, only you hold the power to determine your own worth. No one else.
Tammie Chang, MD, LLC