Practice the Pause

PRACTICE THE PAUSE PRACTICE THE PAUSE Learn how mindfulness can help your family

Written by Christina Dalton

In my last article, we began a conversation about mindfulness. The responses I received were amazing and you wanted to know more. In this second installment, I am going to focus on how you can practice mindfulness daily, which can be anywhere and anytime. Let’s jump in!

First let’s take a look back at the definition of mindfulness from last time. According to the “godfather of modern mindfulness,” Jon KabatZinn, mindfulness is “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” Our lives present so many opportunities to practice this at any given moment. When I am teaching mindfulness to children, I use the term, “practicing the pause.” When you practice mindfulness, you can learn how to “pause” and gain the ability to be present in the current moment, absent of judgment for ourselves and others. The more you practice, the stronger your skills will become and the more wellness benefits you will receive.

Picture this scenario: it’s early on a Monday and you are rushing to get yourself and kids out the door and off to school on time. Do you think that your stress levels are getting tested? Do you remember what you talked about on the way to school? Did you get in a fight because you were in such a hurry? And now you’re headed to work and someone cuts you off in traffic. Did they even look to see you there? You’re now filled with road rage. When you get to work, Becky from accounting starts asking way too many questions and you’re quick to snap at her. You sit down and think what just happened?

Instead of pausing for a moment, we react to events and interactions with others. We become a slave to life’s stressors. But with mindfulness, you can decide to ditch the stress, be aware of the present moment, and take charge of your life. Learning to be in the moment can be a way of living with intention

and purpose. Mindfulness takes practice and with help you can be present in all the moments you experience.

Here are three easy steps to “practice the pause.”

Be present in your interactions with others.

Oftentimes we try to do more than one task at a time. Multitasking can actually lead to less efficiency. When we try to do multiple things we end up doing none of them to the best of our ability. We can practice mindfulness with our children when we are present with them. When you are with your children, try to be fully present and engage with them. The more you practice being present, your brain will start to develop new pathways of thinking and this will eventually be your default setting.

Be intentional with your listening and pay attention to what others are trying to say to you.

The mind naturally wanders. When you notice your thoughts focusing on what happened last night or what you have to do the rest of the day, try to bring your attention back to the present moment. Be engaged and interactive. This means with your children, spouse, family, co-workers and everyone you interact with on a daily basis.

Your empathetic skills will increase, allowing you more opportunities to see other people’s perspectives. Oftentimes, you don’t have the entire story of why your kids were combative before school, or why a car moved suddenly into your lane, or why accounting needed some information.

Be intentional throughout your day. Practice the pause multiple times during your day. You can be intentional with your mindfulness when you are eating or when you are commuting to and from home. You can also set aside specific times that you are practicing mindfulness through yoga or deep breathing exercises. These mindful practices are very grounding and have many wellness benefits to your overall health.

Mindfulness begins with us. We know that through our actions we are modeling behavior for our children. The opportunities to practice mindfulness with your children are endless. You can be mindful in everything you do. Whether you are listening to music, eating dinner, or even doing homework, you can practice mindfulness.

A great mindfulness exercise to practice with your children is the 5,4,3,2,1 Grounding Technique. This exercise can be done anywhere. This practice grounds us along with helping us to pay attention to the world around us.

›› What are 5 things you can see? ›› What are 4 things you can feel? ›› What are 3 things you can hear? ›› What are 2 things you can smell? ›› What is 1 thing you can taste?

One of the most difficult parts of practicing mindfulness is remembering to do it. Living a mindful life takes practice and effort. Reading this article could be your first step towards a more mindful lifestyle. One guarantee I can offer is the more you practice the better you will become. You will have enriched relationships with everyone around you, improved mental wellness, decreased stress, and a happier existence.

In the final installment of this series, you will hear from specific individuals about how living mindfully has changed their lives. My challenge to you in the meantime is to practice the pause and be present for all the ups and downs that life has to offer. The key to better parenting and mental wellness might just be practicing a mindful life. OP

CHRISTINA DALTON, MSSW, CSW is a Family Resource Center Coordinator for Daviess County Public Schools.