2 minute read
Insight from an Ordinary
Child-ing
By Beau May (with help from Luke)
Iknowchild-ingisnotaword, but my dad says when he writes Insight From an Ordinary Dad hewritesaboutwhathe’s learned from parenting. Well thisiswhatI’velearnedfrom child-ing. These are the two things I’velearnedmyparentsmostly don’t like. Don’t mess with mom’scoffee. Don’tthreatento pouritoutorthrowthecoffee away.Shedoesnotthinkthat’s funny.Whendadisasleep,do notcreepuptohimandwhisper inhisear“Dad!Dad!”rightin hisface.Hewilljump-scareand probablyscream. Thesearesomebasicrules I’ve learned to follow in my youth.Dowhatyou’resupposed todo,bekind,andyou’remost likely going to be able to do whatyou want to do. In our house there’s only two rules: takecareofyourbusinessand speak respectfully. If you do those things, you will have a successfullife.90%guaranteed. Alotofthingsarecool,but someofthemareliked by some and unliked by others.For example:
DudePerfectisawesome, butdon’ttryitinthebackyard. (It’snotaseasyasitlooks;you willprobablybreaksomething. Let’shopeyoudon’thavetopay forit!)
Adults don’t think “It’s RainingTacos”andothersilly songsarefunnyonrepeat.
I think Five Below and Goodwill are two ofthe best stores becauseyoucanspend yourwholeallowancethere.
Being a kid is fun, but I knowthatsometimesyouhave togrowup.Mybrothermade merealizethiswhenIwanted to play something somebody my age would want to play. Mybrother,Luke,isabouttwo yearsolderthanme,sohelikes differentthingsthanI do. So, I’mgoingtolivetherestofmy youthatthespeedofmyage! ThankyouforreadingInsight FromanOrdinaryDad.Wait,I meanInsightFromanOrdinary Kid.Yes,Kid.ByKidImeanme, Beau.Anyways,don’tforgetto readthesidebar!
WHAT’S COOL ABOUT GROWING UP IN OBKY These are some things I like about Owensboro.
Wegettohave4seasons.
It’snottoobiglikeChicago,with 3millionpeople,butit’snottoosmall likeLostSprings,Wyoming,with4 people.
It’sgotplentyofdifferenttypesof restaurants.Especiallypizzaandfast food.
IthastheBluegrassHallofFame andMuseumwhereyoucantake bluegrassinstrumentlessons.
Finally,IlikeOBKYbecausemy familyliveshereandit’stheperfect placeforafamilylikeminetolive.
LUKE, 12, is a future confectioner (which means chocolate maker) and BEAU, 10, is a future paleontologist (dinosaur digger). They are the sons of DANNY MAY, who is the Director of Marriage & Family for the Catholic Diocese of Owensboro and a regular contributor to Owensboro Parent.
If My Boys Could Take Over for the Day
Becausemyboysareonly2and 5 years old, they aren’t old enoughtotakeovermycolumn. Thankgoodnessforthat! Ididaskthemwhattheywoulddo iftheycouldtakeoverasthemomfor adayandbetheonewhomakesallthe decisions. Theythoughtthiswaspretty exciting.Henry,whois5,toldme thathewouldwanttogotowork andtypeonacomputerandprint out important things onwhite piecesofpaper.Andhewouldn’t wearpants.Thatkidhasnever beenafanofpants.Itoldhim thatmightbecomeanHRissue andhelaughed. Thenhesaidthathewould makelotsofyummyfood,which isfunnybecauseIonlyexcelat sandwiches and microwavable items. After working for 25 cents, he would play Minecraft and watch YouTube videos about playing Minecraft that he is currently not allowedtowatch.Hewouldthentake hisscootertoWendy’sandorderakid’s meal with chocolate milk, not white milk.Hewouldalsochopdownatreein thebackyardwithanax. He would end the day with a sleepoverwithhiscousinRossanda gameofFightClub.Don’task. Andhewouldjumponallthebeds.
By Jamie Johnson
Yes, hewatchedHomeAlone forthe firsttimeafewmonthsago. Simonisonly2yearsoldandisn’t thebestatverbalizinghisthoughts.So Ijustmadeupwhathewoulddobased onhissunnyoutlookonlifeandfavorite thingssofar.
Firstoff,hewouldwakeupat5:30a.m. andyell“MMMMOOOOMMMMMYYY” untilIcametogethim.Hewouldwear hisfootedpajamasorgototallynaked allday,dependingontheweather.He wouldnotletmechangehisdiaper. Hewouldsettleontothecouchwith SleepyBearandwatchMickeyMouse Clubhouse or Toy Story for an hour orso.Hewouldeatasmuchcandyas humanlypossiblewhilewatchingTV. Thenhewouldgo outside, inhis footedpajamasornaked,andrun.He would run around the backyard in
in circles. He would pick up every
single stick and rock he could find andexamineit,thenthrowit somewhereitdoesn’tbelong, likethelivingroomfloor. Hewouldyellatthe dogalldayto“sit”andmaybe in his world the dogwould actuallysit.
He would continue
to eat candy and maybe a
Lunchable ifthe sugar high
wastoomuch.Hewouldgo visit his biggest fans, Gigi andGrandma,andwouldnot walkonestepalldaylong.He wouldbecarriedeverywhere. He would end his daybythrowingeverysingle ballintheentirehouseatthedogand
running around the living room in
circles.Hewouldplaywithhistoycars
and make airplane noises. He might
fitinonemoreshowingofToyStory
beforeeatingmorecandyandgoingto bedforthenight.
If only I could see into their
imaginativelittlebrains.Itwouldmake lifesointeresting! UntilNextTime,Jamie OP
