A COMPLETE GUIDE TO COUPLES COUNSELING We all like to believe that we are in perfect relationships. Our love stories, in our heads at least, are flawless and filled with nothing but happiness and sunshine. But as any couple can attest, this is not true in the least. The reality is that every relationship is filled with all kinds of issues and problems and conflicts arise with troubling regularity between every couple. But this does not mean that the relationship is an unsuccessful one. Rather, a relationship that faces issues and powers through them is in fact a strong one. However, ever so often, problems in relationships worsen to the point where a therapist needs to step in. In situations like these, marriage counseling and relationship counseling become very important. So, what exactly is relationship counseling? Simply put, it is a place for couples to meet at a neutral ground and rebuild their relationship from the ground up, albeit in the presence of a skilled therapist. It usually involves a series of sessions that a counsellor would have with the couple in question. Things start off by both the parties telling their sides of the story while the therapist listens, observes and takes notes. Here, the therapist is not looking to judge who is right or who is wrong, his or her main task at this stage is to read the subtext and get deeper into your issues to understand the core areas of conflict. Next, the therapist will deliberate over their notes and then talk to you in detail about what they feel your relationship lacks. This is where your active participation begins. The next few sessions will be focused on constructive conversations between you and your partner about the issues you face while the therapist will coach both of you on how to communicate in a non-threatening way. A popular myth about marriage counseling and couples’ therapy is that most people feel it will go on forever while in fact it all depends on you and your partner. You need to talk to your therapist and figure out what you are trying to achieve from therapy. You can then chalk out a plan and set deadlines for the goals you wish to achieve out of therapy. Sadly, in a country like India, therapy is still considered as a taboo topic. Many people are of the opinion that family counseling and marriage counseling means that the relationship is past the point of no return. On the contrary, family counselling is something that could benefit even the happiest of families. It is simply a matured way for families and couples to seek professional help for their relationships. More and more couples in cities like Mumbai are benefitting immensely from couples’ therapy. What's more, you also have therapists who specialize in these things, so they know exactly how to help you out as well. Do give it a try before forming your opinion, you might end up building a stronger bond with your family in the process.
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