Chapter 7. The Journey That Brought Me To Embrace Positivity

Chapter 7. The Journey That Brought Me To Embrace Positivity

On The Benefits Of Relentless Positivity

One thing I have become quite concerned about is the recent trend towards more negative thinking in the LGBT community. As I have described elsewhere, I believe this is due to the mainstreaming of certain academic theories. I strongly believe that this change is very unhelpful for us. Let me explain.

Countless books, from The Power Of Positive Thinking in the 1950s, to The Secret much more recently, have highlighted how important positive thinking is for people who want to achieve their life goals. This is also consistent with what we know from cognitive psychology. It is clear that having a generally negative view of the society around you, or having a persistent victim mentality, is only going to be selfdefeating. Furthermore, the benefits of positive

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thinking are not limited to the personal. History has shown that, LGBT people and other minorities have won the most progress towards acceptance during times when we presented a positive face to the world. One of the reasons why the marriage equality movement was so successful was because its positivity resonated with people. On the other hand, the recent turn towards negativity has brought considerable backlash to LGBT reforms. It is a clear sign that we should turn back to positivity. As the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey.

Given the overwhelming evidence in favor of positivity being good for both personal and social goals, I am unapologetically for positive thinking, and against negative thinking. I am for being relentlessly positive. It doesn't mean that I am always capable of living up to this ideal. I do have moments of doubt and negativity from time to time. But I consciously try to embrace the positive, and reject the negative. This is why I sometimes call myself a 'popstar'. Not because

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I am shallow or highly commercialized or anything like that. But because I try to be relentlessly positive as much as possible, just like pop music. 'Pop' in this sense is like the musical genre, and is sugary sweet and positive. Think of the 'pop trolls' in the recent Trolls movie, if you like. (I sometimes think in terms of musical genres because I am a musician. You might like to substitute other metaphors, if music is not your thing.) I believe that it is precisely this kind of unapologetic positivity that will lead us to a better future, in the end.

To be trans in 2021 is to be surrounded by endless negativity. According to some of our activist 'leaders', many people out there are 'transphobic' and should be boycotted or even deplatformed. Furthermore, refusing to use our preferred pronouns is seen as an 'act of violence' against trans people. Now, I honestly feel disappointed when I hear that people don't support certain trans rights reforms, and I certainly feel a bit hurt if I am being deliberately

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misgendered. But I rather choose not to focus on these things, or let them color my view of the society around me. I'd rather stay positive, because I know it's better for me, and it's better for our future too.

Ultimately, deep down inside, I also know that positivity works because of the journey that I have been on, the things that I have seen, and the truths that I have learned. I know that the 'enemy' is not that different. I know that differences are often a product of misunderstanding, and that creating mutual understanding, as well as having the patience to see it happen, is the key. I know that new opportunities open up all the time for people who are positive and open minded enough to embrace them. I know that the heart of humanity is ultimately good, which means that the long arc of history will ultimately bend towards justice, given enough exploration, dialogue and debate. Given what I have learned about people and societies, I am very confident

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that positivity will work wonders for us. Therefore, while some academic theories may paint an overly negative picture of the world, I know that ultimately, we who embrace positive thinking are more correct than them.

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