Wish vs Reality: A Trans Perspective Having a gap, a big difference, between wish and reality, is a constant feature of life for many people. This is especially true for people who suffer from gender dysphoria. While the goal of transition is to alleviate gender dysphoria, the key word here is 'alleviate'. In many cases, it doesn't make the dysphoria disappear completely, but it makes it easier to deal with, so we can go on with our lives. In other words, there is still a big difference between wish and reality in many areas, both physical and social. The reality is that, trans women can't become exactly the same as genetic women, and trans men can't become exactly the same as genetic men. Eventually, to achieve long term stability, we just need to deal with this fact. Many trans people who have transitioned for at least several years would agree that, at some point, you just need to accept this wish vs reality gap, and deal with it. Trust me, it is needed for our long term psychological health.
Which brings me onto the next issue: the difference between how people perceive us, vs how we perceive ourselves. The fact is, we can't control how others perceive us. It's another fact of life that we need to get used to. Of course, as trans people suffering from gender dysphoria, it is totally reasonable that we don't want to have our dysphoria exacerbated. Therefore, we might not want to hang out with people who constantly try to find opportunities to invalidate our gender identity, for example. We certainly have the 129
