WEATHER Partly Cloudy / Wind High: 38 Low: 26
Serving the Rutgers community since 1869. Independent since 1980.
RUTGERS UNIVERSITY—NEW BRUNSWICK
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2014
ONLINE AT DAILYTARGUM.COM
Valentine’s Day survey reveals U. perceptions BY VAISHALI GAUBA, SABRINA SZTEINBAUM AND ERIN PETENKO FROM THE NEWS DESK
“A hot date with Ben and Jerry” was one among the many plans for Valentine’s Day that students listed in The Daily Targum Valentine’s Day survey. Comprising of approximately 230 undergraduate students’ responses, the survey aimed to get a better understanding of students’ perspectives on relationships and dating in college. The Targum compiled the results of the survey that started on Monday and asked Mary Kelly, lead psychologist at the Counseling, ADAP and Psychiatric Services at Rutgers, for her opinion. Fifty-eight percent of students who took the survey were female and 42 percent male. Out of approximately 230 participants, 189 identified as straight, with nine identifying as bisexual and six as homosexual. Eighty-one sophomores took the survey, followed by 70 first-year students, 51 juniors and 28 seniors. Kelly said the survey targeted a variety of students and thus, the results consisted of a lot of variations. It was not a fully objective survey, because people in relationships were more inclined to answer the survey. When asked about relationship statuses, 51 percent identified as single, 40 percent said they were in a relationship, and 9 percent responded with, “it’s complicated.” Of the students who responded that they were in a relationship, 59 percent said their significant other attends Rutgers, 19 percent said they are in a long-distance relationship, 14 percent said their significant other attends another university and 5 percent responded they are dating a high school student. When posed the question of how serious they take college romantic relationships, 51 students answered “eight” on a scale of one to 10. (One signified “not serious: just here to have fun,” and 10 signified: “very serious: looking for a marriage partner.”) Thirty-three students responded to that question with a “five,” while 13 responded with a one. The majority of students responded with a number between five and 10. When asked how students perceive how serious other college students consider their romantic relationships, 48 students responded with a “five.” Most students gave responses between three and six, with nine students responding with “one” and five students responding with “10.” Eighty-six percent of students said they would like to be in a relationship in college, and 14 percent of students said they are not interested. As far as whether or not students are looking to meet their future spouse in college, 112 responded that they are, and 105 are not. A small percentage of students responded with “maybe.” In response to the question of “Do you consider your relationship status to be connected with your mental health?” 59 percent of respondents said “yes” and 41 percent said that they do not consider the two to be con-
nected. Kelly said she found the connection between relationships and mental health to be the most interesting part of the survey. “We are social animals, and we like to be in relationships, so the connection is not surprising,” Kelly said. “But, I would like to see how well they are connected and how strong the connection between relationships and mental health is.” She also said the mental connection does not hold true for only romantic relationships but for any kind of relationships with family and friends. “Relationships don’t always have to be romantic but any relationship just being a part of the community is good for your mental and physical health,” she said. Students said they had a variety of Valentine’s Day plans. While many responded with “nothing” and “eating chocolate,” others said they plan to go out and or take their significant other out to dinner. Other notable answers included watching Netflix, doing homework and hanging out with friends. Lin Lan, a School of Arts and Sciences first-year student, said she is single because she does not find dating in college serious enough. She said most people here are not ready to commit. “In college, you haven’t really figured out what you want for yourself,” she said. Lan, a member of the debate team, said she knew others in serious relationships. Many of her friends’ emotional stability depend on their relationship status. She said students’ relationships relate more to who they are than whom they meet. Stephen Hackler, a School of Arts and Sciences sophomore, said he has been dating his girlfriend for five years and seven days. Although she now attends Ramapo College, the two manage to see each other at least every other week. His friends range in their dating perspectives, from hooking up, to friends with benefits, to serious relationships. He said any option is fine as long as the couple is clear on their expectations and communicates their feelings. “I think communication’s the most important thing in any relationship,” he said. “With enough communication, you may be able to get through anything.” Barring any unforeseen circumstances, he plans to move in with his girlfriend and marry her after they get their college degrees. He recognizes many would criticize his path. Valentine’s Day may bring expectations to be with a romantic partner, Kelly said. But the day can be celebrated in many other ways. “[Valentine’s Day] is a day to be kind to yourself, engaging in self-care, reminding yourself that there may be expectations, but it’s an opportunity to be with family and friends and do activities that make you feel good about yourself,” Kelly said. Numbers may not add to 230 because not every participant answered every question.
Rumor has it that when a Douglass girl and Cook boy ciricle Passion Puddle, located on Douglass campus, three times, they are destined to fall in love. MICHELLE KLEJMONT / PHOTO EDITOR
Romantic retreats reside at Rutgers BY CONNIE CAPONE STAFF WRITER
Kirkpatrick Chapel and Passion Puddle are two places University students note for their romance and enchantment. Passion Puddle is a small, tree-shaded pond on Douglass campus. According to legend, if one circles the pond three times with their romantic interest, they will be married within a year. Traditionally, if a Douglass College girl and a Cook College boy circle it three times, they are meant to live happily ever after. Shoshana Benjamin, a School of Arts and Sciences first-year student, said Passion Puddle provides a nice setting to study in nice weather and is a pretty feature of the campus. “I always see couples there, so I can understand how it is seen as a romantic spot, even now when the pond is frozen over,” she said. The Kirkpatrick Chapel, a 140-year-old landmark of the College Avenue campus, is another location known for its beauty as an
ideal wedding location, said operations manager Patrick Cogan. The chapel is intrinsic to the history of Rutgers, he said. It hosts about 120 weddings a year, the busiest period being in September, October and November. Cogan said it is cooler outside during those months and the chapel is not air-conditioned. “It was built 30 years before air conditioning was even invented,” he said. “Also, wedding pictures come out really well this time of year when the campus is sporting its autumnal finery.” Cogan said because Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this year, the holiday would not be a busy wedding day because the University uses the chapel and its parking lot. “We take reservations up to two years in advance,” he said. “So I have reservations scheduled two years from now. We also have possible time slots on any given Saturday or Sunday, so there’s plenty of opportunity.” Cogan said Henry Janeway Hardenbergh, the same person who designed the Plaza Hotel in New
The Kissing Bridge, located on Douglass campus, provides lovers with a secret smooching sanctuary. MICHELLE KLEJMONT / PHOTO EDITOR
York City, Carnegie Hall, the Dakota apartment buildings on Central Park West and more, designed and helped build the chapel in 1873. Hardenbergh was the premier architect of his day. He built a number of beautiful and trend-setting edifices throughout the country, from the Hotel Oakland in California to the Fairmount Copley Plaza Hotel in Boston. Cogan said a lot of the beautiful buildings that we still enjoy today are the result of Hardenbergh’s handiwork, and he started off here in New Brunswick. “First, he designed an extension to Johnson Hall, which is a building on College Avenue, and then he designed and built Geology Hall, and the third building he did for Rutgers was the chapel,” he said. Cogan said Kirkpatrick was a great place to get married for anybody who has any kind of history with Rutgers. Another popular location for weddings is the Rutgers Gardens, said Mary Ann Schrum, manager of programs and development. Schrum said the Gardens hosts wedding ceremonies and receptions, held at the alumni pavilion in a log cabin. “The log cabin is a historic building built by the University in 1935,” she said. “It’s a really neat area.” Schrum said because Rutgers Gardens is an outdoor venue, the facility is only available for rent from April through October, and they host about 75 weddings a year. “It’s a different and unique place for weddings,” she said. “We have an evergreen garden, a lilac garden, a bamboo forest, a rain garden, ex cetera.” According to the Rutgers Gardens website, they have an Ornamental Tree Collection, including small trees like the India Quassia Wood, Persian Ironwood and the Chinese Dogwood. Schrum said they also plant annuals in a display garden, which has most of the vibrant colors this time of year. For weddings, many couples take their photos here or have their ceremonies in the display garden.
Page 2
February 14, 2014
VALENTINE’S DAY
Thank you for sharing your Valentines with The Daily Targum
@ANDREIA
@RAYVANILLA93: “Valentine’s Day will be lonely without you. Have fun in Punta Cana!.” INSTAGRAM
@ALISON LESKO: “[This] is my Valentine for the past 33 years!” INSTAGRAM
@GARDENSTATESMAN: “I love this little guy: as the offspring of two Targum alums, he’s a true Mugrat.” TWITTER
@KAY ASHLEY MANUEL
Page 3
February 14, 2014
Dating on a dime: Dining in New Brunswick this V-day GEORGE STREET ALE HOUSE
ERIN WALSH STAFF WRITER
When living on a budget as a college student you might not be able to take that special some one out as often as you would like, but this is the one time of year that budget should not limit you from having the romantic dinner you have been waiting for. Luckily, you will not have to go far from campus to do this.
“New Brunswick restaurants are offering plenty of deals for couples trying to have a night on the town this Valentine’s Day.” New Br unswick restaurants are of fering plenty of deals for couples tr ying to have a night on the town this Valentine’s Day. If you do not live on the College Avenue Campus, just hop on the bus to any of the College Ave stops and these holiday packages are but walking distance away.
TULA
Located at 378 George St., the George Street Ale House is just a few feet away from an EE bus stop. A gastropub with a number of drink specials offered every night, the restaurant is offering a $70 couples special for Valentine’s Day. This deal includes a glass of champagne, a small salad, an appetizer, an entrée and dessert. Salad choices are house or Caesar plus an appetizer. The appetizers include bacon-wrapped scallops, a short rib crostini or half shell oysters. For the main course, couples can order a petit filet with butter poached lobster, stuffed chicken breast with brioche chestnut stuffing or pan seared salmon. For dessert, bartender Mailey Sumida said Ale House is offering what they call “chocolate covered favorites,” which is the diner’s choice of chocolate-covered marshmallows, strawberries, pound cake or pretzel bites.
A different atmosphere can be found at Tula Restaurant and Lounge, located at 47 Easton Ave. Tula boasts romantic vibes in their laid back lounge with a live jazz band playing all throughout dinner. For $45 per person, Tula is offering a three-course meal this Valentine’s Day. For an appetizer, diners have the option of cabbage soup, baby spinach salad, an artisan cheese sampler, a crispy vegetable wonton or the basa ceviche, which Tula server Eric Laff described as “raw fish with lemon, avocado, cilantro and onion.” Choices for the main course include oven-roasted organic chicken, poached Scottish salmon, truffle mushroom risotto, crab cake or Montreal hanger steak. Couples also get a complimentary glass of champagne at Tula. Couples must make a reservation at Tula to take advantage of their Valentine’s Day special.
STEAKHOUSE 85
MAKEDA
For couples in search of a steak dinner, Steakhouse 85, located at 85 Church St., is offering a three course special at $99 per couple, a special they offer every Friday night. This special includes a choice of three different appetizers, such as calamari, baby spinach salad and the soup of the day. For the entree, couples have the option of filet mignon, crab-encrusted grouper, pan-roasted chicken breast or free-range pork chop. For dessert, Steakhouse 85 is offering crème brulee or a caramel apple tart. Unlike Tula or George Street Ale House, this special includes one whole bottle of wine off of the restaurant’s short list as opposed to a single glass. Along with dinner, a live jazz band will be playing. Manager Chris Tobia said the openings for reservations are limited.
For couples who want to try something adventurous and different this Valentine’s Day, Makeda Ethiopian Restaurant offers foreign food and live music. Makeda, located at 338 George St., does not offer Valentine’s Day specials, but their usual dinner menu is being served. Starting at 10 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, artists perform reggae, R&B, salsa and African music.
What do Rutgers students think about dating in college? What is Rutgers’ relationship status?
How many Rutgers students what a relationship in college?
8.7%
co m It’s pl ica ted
38.3%
Total
In a relationship
Interested
230
48.7%
189
31
Not Interested
Single
112 want to meet their future spouse in college 105 do not want to meet their future spouse in college *Do to rounding, percentages may not add up to 100
Not so serious, just having fun
2
20%
30%
40%
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
How seriously do Rutgers students p perceive OTHER STUDENTS’ romantic relationships?
48
2
3
4
5
50%
Very serious, looking for a marriage partner
51
33
9
1
10%
How seriously do Rutgers students perceive THEIR romantic relationships?
13
1
0
10 5
6
7
8
9
10
GRAPHICS BY ALEXANDRA R. MEIER / EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Page 4
February 14 2014
OPINIONS
A PSA to college-aged men this Valentine’s Day FRONTLINES MARY ELLEN CAGNASSOLA
T
he beast has reared its ugly head once again — and no, I’m not referring to the snow or the unloved dog with two noses making its way around the Internet. Valentine’s Day is upon us, and I know this because I walked into a dr ug store recently and had my eyes assaulted by the heinous tokens of American commercialism Hallmark would call “gifts for your valentine.” These purported “gifts” range from made-in-China stuffed animals to crappy, and naturally heart-shaped, boxes of chocolate that I’m sure you think will get you laid. They will not, because they are lame. If you give your girlfriend a stuffed animal, you should be dumped immediately and forced to eat its stuffing. Your girlfriend is not 6 years old, and she will not like the teddy bear stitched together by some Bangladeshi child laborer — who, by the way, would be a much more appropriate recipi-
ent of such a gift. For the record, all stuffed animals of nightmarishly large proportions are not only horrible gifts, but they should be burned at the stake until they are nothing more than a pile of ash with two beady plastic eyes on top. Do not get her chocolate. She already has a hoard of chocolate, which she will subsequently cry into if you do not heed my warnings. Don’t get her some piece-of-garbage tchotchke or a balloon that plays “Bad
very different. Follow me, I will show you the way. The female anatomy is a cave of wonders, and to do anything less than explore it would be a gross injustice. Don’t rush downstairs right away. Most women, generally speaking, take a few minutes to achieve a lady boner. Here is where the aforementioned vibrator comes in handy. I recommend something with multiple settings and a strong motor. It’s not too hard to figure
“If you give your girlfriend a stuffed animal, you should be dumped immediately and forced to eat its stuffing. Your girlfriend is not 6 years old, and she will not like the teddy bear stitched together by some Bangladeshi child laborer.” Case of Loving You” every time something brushes against it. The latter is rather disconcerting in the middle of the night — and once again, it will not get you laid. What your girlfriend wants is a sturdy vibrator and for you to give her well-researched and skillful oral sex. This is not the same as the rushed, halfhearted mouth-to-snatch slobbering you perform every other day of the year. This is
out what to do with this magic pleasure machine, but if you’re really that clueless or have never thought to Google this sort of thing, I will help you. There’s this thing — it’s called a clitoris. Perhaps you’ve heard of it before. It’s located at the very top of her whispering eye and when you touch it, it feels good. Keep touching it, especially with your tongue or the handy-dandy vibrator you have so
thoughtfully gifted to her because I told you so. Don’t be shy with the fingers. Your fingers have the potential to feel even better than your favorite appendage. Do not just poke around in there like you’re picking a nose. That is very bad. Consistency is key, and there are several “strokes” you can try. Move your phalanges in a come-hither motion, or up and down or in and out. You will know when you have found the right one. You must not, however, neglect the clitoris. Good head requires multitasking, so perhaps you can train for your romantic evening by patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. Moreover, boob touching, butt grabbing and dirty talk are most likely appreciated. Of course, I cannot speak on behalf of all women, but these things are known to be awesome for both parties. For more advice, please consult the Internet, and do not “friend” me on Facebook. Mary Ellen Cagnassola is a School of Arts and Sciences first-year student and the copy editor of The Daily Targum.
This V-Day don’t forget the importance of self-love WALKING ON EGGSHELLS DANIEL MUNOZ
O
n Valentine’s Day, our lives will, in one way or another, revolve around the topic of love. Some might be buying gifts for their romantic par tner, or taking them to some lovely dinner. Some might champion the “strong and single” spiel, and others might be using this occasion to drown out their single-life sorrows with chocolate. All of this, of course, centers on the cliché and long-debated topic of love. As the old wisdom goes, one cannot love another without first loving themselves, which can apply to romantic, family and platonic relationships. Self-love, also known as self-care, checking in with yourself and self-attention, simply means putting your needs first. It means acknowledging that you are a person, that you have needs and that you deser ve to focus on those needs. The semester is now well underway. Peo-
“
ple I know have already begun studying for their second exams or are working on tedious non-academic projects. Some are waiting to hear back from jobs or graduate school. The weather has been an obnoxious, non-stop burden for everybody. Add this to the individual struggles students might be experiencing, and it all can lead to a heaping mess of trouble. While the advice to check in with yourself every once in
and should be done at any point in the year. Straight to the point, Valentine’s Day is about love, and this should ultimately serve as a reminder to give yourself the love you need at the time you need it — not just on Valentine’s Day. There are a near-endless number of ways in which you can give yourself that love and much-needed attention. This really depends on who you are and what you need. No doubt, that is a vague bit
“Ultimately, I hope that Valentine’s Day can serve as a reminder for us all to give ourselves that much needed self-love ... tell yourself that things will work out.”
awhile seems rather obvious, it is still quite easy to forget. Worse, some might even forget how they can go about with this feat of self-care. There is no “best time” to check in with yourself, except the time that works for you. Self-love should be done whenever you feel is best. Paying attention to yourself can
of advice, but this should serve as a reminder rather than a how-to process. At least for me, self-attention means giving myself some much-needed solitude. In the fall 2013 semester, I would spend an excess of 10 to 12 hours a day out in public, going to classes, meeting friends, using public transportation, going to food places
and seeing to extracurricular matters. After this, I would go back to my apartment, which does not grant me much in the way of privacy. Through experience, I saw that I was neglecting my own needs, and gradually burned out as time progressed. I was an introvert, I learned, and forcing myself to be extroverted simply tired me out. I try now, at the very least, to take some opportunity to give myself a break, by myself and for myself. Ultimately, I hope that Valentine’s Day can serve as a reminder for us all to give ourselves that much needed self-love. I hope that today will allow for you to take a break from the flow of things, just for a few minutes, and tell yourself that things will work out. Take time during the semester to give yourself whatever it is that you need the most. Pay attention to yourself, your needs and what makes you happy. Daniel Munoz is a School of Arts and Sciences junior majoring in political science with a minor in Spanish. His column, “Walking on Eggshells,” normally runs on alternate Tuesdays.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
[Valentine’s Day] is a day to be kind to yourself, engaging in self-care ... but it’s an opportunity to be with family and friends and do activities that make you feel good about yourself. -Mary Kelly, lead psychologist at the Counseling, ADAP and Psychiatric Services at Rutgers, on Valentine’s Day
”
YOUR VOICE The Daily Targum welcomes submissions from all readers. Due to space limitations, letters to the editor must not exceed 400 words. Guest columns and commentaries should be between 500 and 700 words. All authors must include name, phone number, class year and college affiliation or department to be considered for publication. Anonymous letters will not be considered. All submissions are subject to editing for length and clarity. A submission does not guarantee publication. Please submit via email to oped@dailytargum.com by 4 p.m. to be considered for the following day’s publication.