6 • ISSUE May 2010
Life of the Party
Volume 16, No. 8
PAULA ‘TORCHY’ SALTER, DOYEN OF THE LOCAL ARTS, SOCIAL SCENE, REMEMBERED WHEN I FIRST MET Paula all I could think of was, “I’ve never seen anyone like this girl before!” I was born and raised in Beaumont in an Italian Catholic home with relatives and friends of pretty much the same ilk as me. Then I met Paula. She looked different, but not just looked different, she was different. She was a powerhouse of energy; her hair was a wild red tone and those baby blues shown through her big spectacles like the sky through a picture window. She had a life force that made me hover around her like so many people; her brother Donovan used to say, “like moths to the flame,” but the end result was not the end of any life but the beginning of a new view of life. Paula’s attitude insisted that God and she were in charge and that any other plan was probably just foolishness. She used to tell me that when we met she fell in love with me. Now that was not really unusual for her. She loved every creature under God’s sun. Stray dogs, homeless folks, strangers who looked down on their luck, she loved everyone. Even the people she didn’t really get along with she loved. That was almost thirty years ago. I got to know Paula best after the 2005 Hurricane Rita. She was on a fairly mundane visit to her friend and GP Mark Wilson to get treatment for a pretty nasty cut she acquired while trying to fix her downed wooden fence so her dogs wouldn’t run loose. He noticed a knot behind her ear and from that it was determined she had Lymphoma. Just like one would expect, Paula didn’t have time for cancer treatment right then; she other things to do. When she finally decided that she had to do something about the cancer she submitted to treatment. It was then that I became involved with the woman who would take the person I was, add her special blessings and philosophies, and like a flower with sunshine and rain in just the right amounts she led me into her world and changed mine forever. Paula could do stuff like that. She seldom touched any thing or person that didn’t change just a bit. I really had intended to get in line to assist the girl who, over the years, had always been so nice to me. Maybe bring her some meals, feed the dogs while she was in treatment, I really didn’t now what. I just knew that I was moved to do something for her. When I showed up at her door she was, I think, a little surprised. Keep in mind I’m talking about “the Torch.” Torchy, the most independent female I had ever met. She was glad to see me and, of course, I got one of those monster hugs that was a delightful gift she gave to her friends. We started to talk and reminisce about times past and one particular date we had enjoyed twenty five years earlier. A date that I had never forgotten and surprisingly neither had she. New Years Eve, 1985; I pick her up in a cab, knowing full well we would imbibe the fruit of the vine to the max. So off we went to five or six different parties and gatherings, visiting, talking and laughing from one cab ride to the next party, then cab ride and party and cab ride — and so it went into the wee hours
Comment by Carlo Busceme III
Paula “Torchy” Salter and Carlo Busceme III of the morning. She was magnificent. The conversation never waned and the laughter never subsided. I tell you all of this to say that though the parties were “fabulous,” the cab rides were magic. The world would dissolve into an array of colors and blurred images, except for those blue eyes and that wonderfully delightful smile. She remembered it just like I did. As the treatments continued, my friend and I had deeper and deeper conversations. Although we never gave thought to death or dying we would speak of God and the oneness of the universe, about her father and mother, about high school and her retail career. What we were doing was finding each other and realizing that we had a soul connection. She called me her soul mate. At first I was leery of such connections, but it wasn’t too long until I understood what she meant. I never had to guess at what she was saying. The meaning was always clear. She never seemed to misunderstand me. We could have debates about almost any subject and then laugh at the energy that was spent and the delight we had in our mind
expansion. I had never had this type of relationship before; a person who loved me and understood me. Being with Paula was like having someone hold a mirror up to your face and point out the loveliness of your being. She taught me how to love who I am. That was the beautiful thing about this Torchy girl; she could teach you how to love…even yourself. She made it through the treatments with the help of many friends, but mostly because she relied on God and in that she found strength. The social life that she had developed over the years has expanded a great deal since 1985 and she was determined to continue it even through the cancer treatments. We must have gone to a dozen affairs through the whole thing. Bald headed (both of us) — she because of cancer treatments and me because of a bad toupee experience, we made the events that were so
See TORCHY on page 10
