4Aiden Magazine

The Note To Self Issuu featuring Anita Chikodili

Anita Chikodili

The Takeover

Anita Chikodili

LETTER FROM THE FOUNDER AND CREATOR OF 4AIDEN

I started 4Aiden because I knew something was wrong. I felt empty knowing that I was sitting underneath a rug with all these ideas and temporary solutions on top of me. To start something that seems near to impossible gives you the desire to start it anyway. To perfect your craft is an out of the world possibility which fuels me to go on this journey with a collective of young, gifted aspiring teenagers. We live in a world where imperfections have been dubbed as weak but for how long? For how long are we going to surpass the fact that imperfections make us who we are. I know how it feels to go through the motions of who you are, to feel so shallow that you yourself don’t know what’s wrong.

At a young age, you are not really certain what triggers your behaviour other than the fact that maybe something is bothering you at that moment but when it becomes embroidered in your life, you begin to notice the discomfort in your behaviour. You think, maybe its anxiety or “oh, there shouldn’t be a problem conforming to society” because that’s all you’ve ever known or heard of but do you really know the definition to the on going action, do you really know what’s happening in your life or body. Just recently I was reading a book by James Dobson called preparing for adolescence. I have come to terms of how important it is to invest in his books at such a young age because trauma doesn’t stop, it grows with you and evolves, taking up space as a priority in your life. One of the notes I took from his book is that, as teenagers, young adults and whoever is reading this we are always growing and from a young age, we don’t really investigate ourselves in such a way that we can understand why we act the way we do.

We tend to put so much pressure on ourselves, trying to conform to the norm of our actions, meanwhile it’s really uncomfortable to come to terms with what sets you apart from the world, that the reality of it is, something really is wrong with you. During my quest of starting 4Aiden, it was a difficult journey for me because I too was being introduced to certain topics that I wasn’t familiar or comfortable with.I felt conflicted at heart. All these big words and terms that label our behaviour can be very terrifying. You tend to think you’ll get better quicker than the usual but meanwhile you're not. There’s a stigma that I hope to address, a stigma that we are not allowed to talk about situations troubling us or else we are just weak which is like silencing a person with a gunshot wound to the leg. This is what I suppose happens to humans. I really hope this will be the platform where you are able to devour yourself, after all, we're all humans facing some crazy shit on a daily basis.

Love Chelsea

CONTENTS

4 Picture Collage

8 Emotional Health Signs & Causes

12

Mental Health Illustrations

16 The woman behind Carmel Nsita

20 Wrapping up with Carmel

24 Closing up with Portio Mokgotho

28 The rough draft with Sanchez

32 Black Creatives and Entrepreneurs

36 Dominic Kazadi dubbed as “The Future”

40 Anita – The Takeover Article

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Emotional Health...

Emotional Health

Emotional Wellness is defined as coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships.

Emotional health can also be known as a person’s ability to accept and manage feelings through challenges and change. Someone who is emotionally healthy can allow their emotions to be digestible. The mundane hassles of daily life offer opportunities to practice responses, rather than reactions to allow emotional health to flourish.

The symptoms of poor emotional health are: � Feeling sad or down. � Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate. � Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt. � Extreme mood changes of highs and lows. � Withdrawal from friends and activities. � Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping.

Emotional health contributes to physical health concerns such as digestive disorders, sleep disturbances and general lack of energy.

By far, the two most common emotional disorders are depression and anxiety disorders. Depression has two main symptoms that can occur alone or together. These are sadness (feeling down or blue), and difficulty feeling pleasure or having little interest in doing the things you typically enjoy.Whether you have anxiety, depression or stress, looking after your emotional health is a vital part of your overall health. People who are emotionally healthy are in control of their moods and behaviors.

� Get help when you need it. Mental health conditions can be harder to treat if you wait until symptoms get bad. Long-term maintenance treatment also may help prevent relapse of symptoms.

� Take good care of yourself. Sufficient sleep, healthy eating and regular physical activity are important. Try to maintain a regular schedule. Talk to your primary care provider if you have questions about a healthy intake of food and physical activity.

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IT IS IMPORTANT TO PUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ABOVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. PUT YOUR CROWN ON....

“For me, the most confident thing Carmel can do is come here on my platform and share her experience with us. That’s bravery at it’s finest because as young ladies, we often tear each other down which causes us to shield our stories from the world out of shame and embarrasement but this girl right here is a warrior. My wonder woman!!!”

When I stress, I don’t eat, so you can probably imagine the amount of stress I started to feel after hearing someone tell me I’m thin. Being me, hearing “you getting fat/gaining weight” is the sweetest thing you could ever say to me. Social media also played a big role to my insecurities because there was a time where “thick” girls were trending and it made slim girls such as I, feel ugly. Looking back, I find it so hilarious because the tables turned at some point. An artist called Trey Songz released a hit song titled “Na Na” in 2014. In the song Trey Songz and his accompany are acting as a couple who are training at an underground workout room. The same song also featured the famous wrestling divas “The Bella Twins” and they are seen working out and showing off their toned bodies. Everywhere you went, that song was played. Then all

of a sudden, a lot of females became obsessed with wanting to look fit and working out and then I realized that my body starting being admired. That’s when the terms “body goals”, “I want me a fit girl “and “#fitcouplesstaytogether” started trending. The first thing I learnt in this, is that no matter how you look - thick or thin, short or tall - there will ALWAYS be people who will break you down and make you feel bad about your physical appearance. There will always be comparisons or someone or a certain group of people that will make you feel insecure about who you are. Secondly, the world is all about trends. One day everyone will hate on girls with their natural hair and then the next day everyone will find them beautiful saying “rock that crown baby girl”. One day everyone will laugh at you because you’re dark skinned, the next day they be like “oh my gosh you’re dripping in melanin”.Thirdly, if you don’t stand for something then you’ll fall for anything.

“Real hotgirl shit= being free and unapologetically you, showing off your confidence, hyping up your friends, not taking shit from NOBODY etc” Meg Thee Stallion

Sanchez Bandowa Benoit

Hello, Mr BenoitWelcome to 4Aiden

I had the pleasure of finding out about Sanchez is story when a friend referred his experience as a great piece. Sanchez is story really gets to me time and time again and perhaps it will do the same to you. One of the greatest things you can take from this article is that even the inevitable can happen but sooner or later, you will find your niche.

Everyone, meet Sanchez Bandowa Benoit….

Coolest Republic

I wanted to find one local brand to write about and use the same questions or maybe at a slightly different angle to actually find out how it feels working as a collective. I’ve known the creators before the brand even started and watched it blossom right before my eyes. I believe Coolest Republic is a growing brand and I really love how unified they are. Working with a lot of people is very difficult especially when you have a different vision but the cofounder Emkae Blackson comes forward and explains to us how he came about Coolest Republic and how he feels creating this platform for the youth.

What came about the brand Coolest Republic?

Coolest Republic is a Brand that started at Maitland High School, an idea that just came up innerspring of the streets. We have members from different countries in Africa but as a whole we are from Cape Town representing the Western Cape.

What made you make the decision to work as a collective?

What made us work together is mostly our goal for this brand and also because we have a common hidden agenda which is our love for fashion that brings us together and creates a positive energy for lifelong healthy partnerships.

Have you ever suffered from any chronic illness/disorders in the mental, emotional, physical and emotional health factors or anything closely related to it and what was the reason for it?

I think during my high school, I was a little depressed from a few things, i felt small & sometimes neglected. I felt a little misunderstood especially by my parents. One of the reason was I was going to a school I didn’t love, we had quite hard conditions at my high school which was a military school. I was also doing nothing creatively which I think caused my depression. I always came home and isolated myself when I could. And for some odd reason I just felt like I wanted to break free. When I finally broke free and came to Cape Town South Africa, which was an uplifting moment for me, when I got here there was also a throwback. It was like me constantly trying to fit in and prove myself. And the fact that after a long day of who knows what, all I had some times was my bed and pillow to comfort me. I felt so alone for such a long time.

I had gastric ulcer from not eating right. I was constantly stressed from working and studying and crazy part is I was still trying to fit in. I needed a social life, these brought about influences, alcohol drugs & boys the need of wanting to be seen and appreciated was really bad for me even when I came to posting on social media became tormenting. I would have anxiety attacks just playing all the things that could possibly go wrong. I didn’t go to church often, but I tried to here and there. My personal relationship with God is what has been keeping me sane these past couple of months. Knowing that all I need is God’s love and approval is the greatest peace I’ve felt in a while. Suicide wasn’t an option for me even through my worst and most embarrassing moments. I felt like my purpose in life was bigger than me.

The Coming of Age

When I walk into a room, I want to be able to evoke confidence in it. I want to shake gravity and catch everyone before they fall. Is that too much to ask for? Perhaps some assistance would be great however they are all wants and what exactly am I supposed to do with a want? Crave for it until I get it? I don’t think so. That seems a bit far fetched don’t you think.What is your need exactly? To feel loved? So many questions that ponder in my head that I unfortunately don’t have the answer to. We can learn to love ourselves so effortlessly or we can help one another try to understand the fundamental value behind the word love. Maybe then we can understand the depths to our stories. At any moment, any coming of age moment, comes with a trial of misleading thoughts, we bring about a baggage of anxiety, depression, body shaming, negative energy and whatever else that has hidden itself in my luggage. I am like a drainage full of sewage of bad luck that needs to be flushed away into another origin. More like a lonely lady who carries a trunk fold of luggage with childhood trauma, it relocates with me wherever I go and sets itself apart from me underneath my bed, finding a way to warm itself and trigger the evoked emotions. Am I calm or am I the wind.