Empowered Finding Your Success in Life
By Tavius Southard
Š 2013 Tavius Southard No part of this book may be copied or distributed without the express permission of the author.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this publication is given to assist you in your own achievements with your business. By no means is this a gaurantee that you will make any money at all. Any endeavor requires actual effort for success. While I can't guarantee your success, I do wish you the best and hope that you use the steps in this book to get your dreams!
Up front I just wanted to take a few at the beginning of this book to talk to you, one on one. Bear with me, I want to be as open and honest as I can here. I started this book a while back, got some messages together from my blog and quotes from other people. Then I thought, is this really how I would want to see this? Then I threw the whole thing out and decided to start over. I don't mean to come to you as someone with a white board, in front of a classroom. Instead, I want to have you consider it is just you and I, sitting by the fire, drinking tea and getting to know each other. What I am writing in this book is a compilation of information that I have gathered from a lot of different sources. Really it is a bunch of mentors: Assorted authors, different books, videos, success coaches, people who have what I want, and from life. You are going to recognize some of what I am putting in here, because you may have read some of the books. Other things are from my own experiences, as well. I don't have everything in my life, yet. I don't claim to be an expert.
To be honest, I am writing this book as much for me, as I am for you. It can help to clarify your thoughts when you talk to someone else about it, and that is what this book is about. I can tell you, I have had some great successes with this information. I have my health, even after cancer. I have the most amazing woman in the world, to me. I have made some money using the information - maybe not as much as I want, yet... but working at it. I am not really writing this so much to make money though - I wouldn't be giving this book away for free if that was what was important here. I hope, as you read this book, that some of it resonates for you. I know if you are reading it, you are probably someone like me, who is looking for all the answers to make life suddenly click into place. I don't know if it will, or not, with what you are getting from me... But I hope it helps. As you go through the book, I don't promise perfection. My intent is the message, not grammar. I have no idea how long it is going to be, and I am kind of shooting from the hip instead of an outline. I don't expect anything from you... I hope to help.
I invite you to come down the rabbit hole with me, and let me share what I have learned.
Chapter 1 I originally thought about making catchy titles for the chapters, but then realized that the title of it didn't matter. What I say here matters more. Let me start with what I think is the basic of all of this. Communication. If you want to learn something, or share it, you need to be able to talk to someone. It could be writing, it could be listening. If you are in front of them, it could be gestures. The only way you are going to get to know someone is by communicating. If you want to get to know someone, to become their friend, or come to understand them, you need to talk to the. When I thought about this one, it really came down to me that my life failures and successes have all come to this one thing. I have failed at a lot of relationships. I have failed at businesses. I have nearly failed some classes in school. Why? Because I didn't communicate.
Sometimes I didn't say what was on my mind, other times I didn't listen. I think that listening is as important as talking - probably more so. I would like to hear what your thoughts are, and at the end of the book I will have some information about how you can share them with me. Meanwhile, I write this with what I know. When I was a kid, I got picked on a lot. I know it was ultimately my own fault, because of how I communicated. I was, to be blunt, a smartass. I had moved so many times, I knew it didn't matter how I treated other people...I would be gone again in a month. That worked for me pretty well, for a while. Then all of a sudden my mother decided to stay in one place. It was third grade, and like any other place, I was still a smartass. What the hell - I will be gone again next month... But it didn't happen! All of a sudden, I was having to live with the consequences. I learned a lot from that. Later, when I had learned to talk to others and realize that they mattered, that is when life got to be better. I know that my relationship that is so good now is because of how we are
completely open with one another, and how we listen to each other. The reason I got sales, when I worked retail, was because I listened to other people and helped them find what they wanted. The point is, if you want to get somewhere, learn to listen to the other person more than you talk. It will do wonders! The communication you have leads to something else... Understanding. This is more than just understanding what you read, or what they try and teach you in school. You want to understand the person you are talking to. You understand where your best friend is coming from, right? It is the same thing, if you want a good relationship, or a good business. If you understand your customer, you bond with them. When you bond with someone, you have more influence. If someone likes you, they will be more likely to buy from you, or help you out if you need it. Think about it... Let me paint a picture for you. You want to get a new cell phone.
You know the company you want to get it from, because they have the best deals. As you go to the store to get it, the person who comes up to you and snaps at you, "What do you want?" You immediately don't trust him, because of how he comes at you. You know he doesn't understand you, doesn't care about you, and doesn't really want to be there anyway. If you walk into another store, looking for the same thing, the salesman who comes up to you asks, "How can I help you?" That kind of breaks the ice, but it is how he comes to you with it that builds the trust. If he listens, makes suggestions, and genuinely comes to you in a way that shows he actually cares, you start to understand each other. You feel you can trust this person, and you probably buy from him. What it comes down to is that the first person didn't show any interest in learning about you, and really didn't want to understand you. The second one did. It is the same in any relationship, whether it is personal or professional. Remember that as you go along, it will help you a lot.
Chapter 2 If you are like me, you have picked up book after book, read articles online, watched videos, and seen a lot about the law of attraction. If you aren't familiar, let me give a short description. In essence, it says that what you think about positively is what you get. I will give you my take on it - you may feel this way, or not. In essence, what is true for you is what is true... I do agree that how you think is going to make a difference in what you get. If you are spending a lot of time thinking that you will never get what you want, you won't. The reason is that you will give up easily, and will do things that stop you from getting it. If you feel you can get it, know that you can get it... That is when you are going to keep going and make it happen. I think it is something unconcious - if you believe it can happen, things are going to fall in place more easily. There is one big thing that is left out in books like the secret though. The law of attraction is only half the battle. You still need to do something! If you don't get up and work at it, you aren't going to get it.
Are you going to win the lottery without a ticket? It is the same in a relationship - if you see that man, or that woman, that you want in your life. If you don't get up and break the ice, talk to them, you aren't going to have it happen. You see it time and time again. Maybe it has been you. The same goes for a business. Unless you step out on a limb and at least try, there is absolutely NO way it will happen! So here is my own recommendation on how to use the law of attraction. Decide what you want. Start to have confidence that it can happen. Do something toward it happening. Notice if it happened or not. Rinse and repeat until it does.
Chapter 3 I want to expand on that bit of what you want. You want something. Do you know what it is, really? Think about that. Your business dream may be to make more money. How much? If you leave it at that, you may find that you make an extra $10. By when? It could take you a year to make it. One of the books I read talked about a man on the street corner. He wanted enough money to get a meal and a place to sleep. He got that. Looking back, he realized that if he had asked for more, he could have gotten it. You need to be specific. Consider carefully... Do you want to make an additional $20,000 a year? Or in a relationship, are you looking for that person who agrees with your way
of thinking? Write it out. Make a goal, with specifics. "I want a brunette mate, healthy, in shape, and willing to help me get there too. This person will stand by me, dance with me, be honest and supportive. I want to find this person by June 22, 2014." "I want to make $5,000 in the month of March, 2014." Rewrite it now, as if you already have it. "It is March 30, 2014. I am looking at my bank account and I am excited to see that I just made another deposit. With this deposit I am happy to see that I have made $5,000 this month! To celebrate, I am going to eat at The Chateau and have the best meal I have ever had." It doesn't matter. You need to write it down. Be sure that you reward yourself, and write it as if it has already happened. Then you need to believe it. Believe you can get it. Even if you aren't sure how, you need to have some kind of goal that you think is at least possible for you. Now you want to get even more specific. What exactly are you going to do to get there?
"It was amazing to see how many people just decided to buy from me when I presented my product." Actually you want to be even more specific, and actually write out a full plan, step by step. "Steps to get there: 1. Find the product I really can believe in. 2. Advertise the product. 3. Talk to people who want to know more. 4. Sell the product to X number of people." You get the idea. So the steps for it again are: 1. Decide what you want. 2. Make it more specific, and write it down in present tense, as if it just happened. 3. Make plan to get there. 4. Believe you can do it. 5. Follow your plan to get there.
Chapter 4 Falling down. You've done it. I've done it. So has everyone else. Watch a baby. They fall down all the time. They want to walk, but it keeps escaping them. One day, they get it right. What did they do? They persisted! Over the years, our parents tell us... "You are too young to do that." "You can't do that." "That person is special, that is why they did it." Later on, other people tell us... "You are too old for that." "It is too late for that to happen." "You will never make it work."
Guess what... It is all BS!!! Because you hear it so much, you start to believe that it can never happen for you... That you can never make it... That it is impossible... The fact is, you CAN do it, if you believe you can. Take your lessons from that baby. Nobody told them they can't do it. Even if somebody did, they didn't understand or listen and kept going until they walked. It is the same for everything. Follow the leadership of that baby - never give up. Keep working to make it happen, and know that it can. So you fell down again. Get back up. What did you learn? You fell down AGAIN! Get back up. Keep doing that until it works.
The most quoted case is Edison and the light bulb. Yes, I will quote it again, because it is relevant. He failed, again and again. And again. And again. Suddenly, he didn't! Every failure wasn't a failure. It was a lesson. It is the same for you, no matter what you do. You want to find a date? She said no. You find out why. You ask again, in a different way. She says no. You get to know her better (not STALKING her, mind you!)... You ask again... Suddenly, she says YES! You tried to close the sale. The customer says no.
You ask them what their concern is. You answer their questions and explain why this is the best thing for them. You ask again if they want it. They say yes! It is persistence, and faith that will get you there. Use the stuff I mentioned before - communicate, listen, understand them, build a relationship, get their trust, and let them see how you care what is good for them. There is one little trick that I learned that can help immensely... It is called the assumptive close. It can work in anything, if you have done the above. If you understand them, get their trust, actually CARE about them, and want the best thing for them. How does it work? You are asking her for the date. Rather than saying, "do you want to go out?", change it to, "What time should I pick you up?" or "Which restaurant should we go to?" If you are selling a car, and they are looking at two different models, you ask them, "Do you want the red one, or the white one? Let's go do the paperwork." As you can see, you are assuming that the answer is yes, you are asking them to decide between A or B.
This can be used for anything. It may be that it doesn't work, but if you have the rapport, and the trust, you will be surprised how often it DOES work. I want to stress here, when you are building the relationship, you need to be honest about it. Don't lead them to think something that isn't true. Don't make them think you care if you don't. When they see it, they will never trust you again. Very probably, they would never buy from you in the first place, because they can tell. Would you? Make sure you believe in what you are selling as well. If you don't believe in it, it is hard to show them why they should. The moral of the story is, if you fall down, get back up and keep doing it till you get there!
Chapter 5 Pay attention. If you don't pay attention, you will miss something. Sometimes there are little things that show you that you are almost there. Other times you will see that you need to change tracks. Watch the girl (or guy) when you see them. Do they smile at you? Do they avoid you? Maybe you are in the backyard digging for gold. Not necessarily a likely place, unless you buried it there... but... If you see a little bit of a glint, maybe it is a sign. The same goes for anything. Notice the little things, and you may find the big things. In sales, if you notice the customer doing something - maybe looking at the product a lot... it can be a sign. Sometimes it can help, if you want to persuade a person to do something, to show them. Paint the mental picture of it. You are selling a car. Talking to the customer, you paint the picture for them...
"It stops on a dime, and when you see the green light, it really takes off! Isn't it nice that there is enough room in it when you take your kids to the park?" It can be the same for a date. It doesn't matter what the situation is, you can do this. When you talked to Joe, and explained to him how great this car was... how wonderful it handled on the corners... and you saw that little glint in his eyes... wasn't it amazing when you said, "So do you want it in blue or black?" and he just immediately, without even thinking, said "I'll take the black one!" Thinking back, you realize how much value you got from reading that one little book... (You see what I did there??) You get the point - I am bundling a few ideas together here, because that is how my mind is rolling with it. So by now, you have worked out your goal, written it out, decided you believe in it, decided that come hell or high water you are going to persist and get back up, and build rapport with others to make it happen... With this little step, a lot can happen.
Chapter 6 So you want to do it but you are afraid they will say no... You are afraid that it won't work for you... You are afraid of a dozen different things, right? I know what it is like. We have all been there. Want to know the secret in getting past it? Get a little closer... Listening? Just do it! I know I am quoting Nike here, but really is that simple. When you just jump in, head first, you are going to be doing it before you can even think about it. Maybe you want to do that speech, but are afraid that you will mess it up... Maybe you are wanting to ask her out, but afraid she will say no... Maybe any of a hundred different things. Fear is a big part of what causes procrastination. Because you are afraid it won't do what you want it to, you decide you will do it later.
Maybe you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes... I can do it next week... Next week comes, and you say, never mind! I admit - fear is not the ONLY thing that can put you off. Sometimes it is something you just don't like to do. My biggest drawback is doing dishes. I just don't like to do it. The thing is, when you just do it, suddenly it is done. Doesn't that feel better? When you have cleared it off your plate, you can know that you don't have to do it again. If it is a speech, when it is done, you can feel accomplished in having it done. When you are afraid of something, you will notice that once you get started, it just seems to flow for you. Kind of like when you just jump into the pool... Once you are in there and see you can handle it, suddenly it comes and works for you! (A little secret here - I have always had a deep water phobia. I know I can swim, but just getting terrified of that deep water. Sometimes it is hard to get past it, if you are terrified, but you just need to push through. If you can't do it, then maybe you need to get counseling. I am looking that way myself, for this one
thing.) Generally, once you get going, you will see that it goes by really fast, then it is done!
Chapter 7 How bad do you want it? A lot of people talk about persistence, but they miss one thing. I was listening to a call this morning from one of my mentors, and he mentioned how he quit smoking. He found a woman who he loved. She knew he smoked, and he had tried a couple of times to quit smoking. She told him, one day, that she could never marry a smoker. She had grown up in a home with smokers in it, and was determined to not get her own kids in that kind of environment (when she had them). This man, who had tried and failed to stop smoking, even went a month without smoking but ended up doing it again... Suddenly, overnight, he had stopped smoking. How did he do it? He found the resolve to do it! He wanted to be with this woman, and was determined that he would do anything that he needed to to make this happen with her. Instead of deciding that, "I am going to quit smoking," his message changed to, "I am a nonsmoker." With that, he did.
Why? Because he wanted something so much that he was determined to make it happen! I looked at myself in the mirror one day, a few years back. I saw my stomach, and how it was sticking out. I decided, right then, that I would fix it. The next day, I joined a gym and hired a trainer. I followed what he said religiously. I lifted weights 3 days a week, and did other exercises 3 days a week. I ate right. Eventually I started yoga and stretches for my non-weight days. Then later I picked up ballroom dancing - which is an awesome workout in itself, by the way. A couple of months later, I saw my abs. I had muscles... I felt great! Why? Because I didn't think - I am going to lose weight. My thought was - I am going to be fit! If you were diagnosed with cancer - like I was - and told that the only way you are going to live is to have brain surgery... what would you do? I did.
I didn't think twice about it... I didn't even consider the possibility of failure. I didn't have the ability to do that, because my determination was to survive. Yes, it caused other problems, BUT I am in good health, overall. My point is - if you really want something - you need to have the resolve - the personal commitment - to do whatever it takes to make it happen! Let's take a look at that goal again. Don't just think, "I am going to do it." Make preparations. Set up the reservations, do the steps that you wrote down. If you are really resolved - you don't have to worry about willpower. When I worked out, I didn't doubt my ability to get there. I just did it. There was no willpower involved - I decided it was happening, that is it, period. I went all into it, didn't give myself any excuses... There was NO reason to not do it. It wasn't even an option. THAT is how serious you have to be to make your goals. Are you ready for it? When you get that determined - that certain that there is no other option - there is NO other option and it WILL happen for you!
The universe will get out of your way and things will start falling together for you, because you have decided that it is!
Chapter 8 Passion! Do you love what you do? What is your drive? You need to have a love of what you do, if you truly want to be effective. When you love your business, love your job, people will recognize it. Just like losing weight or gaining muscle. If you find great things about it, you find more and more that you can love it. Sometimes it may not be simple to love your work. It may be that you need to find something else to do. Or, if it is something you DO want to do, find things about it that you enjoy! The more you see that is good, the more you will see that is good. The same thing goes in anything. When you first start something, you have a new love for it. It may be something that has your passion. Lets take losing weight, as an example. You start out, you love what you are doing because you know your goal. People start to quit though, when the initial love affair wears off. If you look for the little results, though, you will find more and more that it
grows on you. The same thing happens in some relationships. You are amazed at how beautiful your partner is, and you get this fascination for them. The reason so many relationships fall apart is that there is nothing else there. When you lose the love, the passion for what you found, it will eventually fall apart. When you are selling, you need to convey that passion to your customer as well. Even if you don't think you are selling, you ARE! For instance, if you want to have that relationship, you need to sell the other person on you. If you do well at it, then it happens. If you don't, it doesn't. But it is all sales. My point, though, is that you need to feel it to your bones that what you are doing is right. If it is something that you don't feel is right, or that you can't get the passion for, you need to find something else to do. If you are selling cigarettes and don't believe that people should smoke - then find something else!
That is a very dramatic example, since most people see how bad it is, but you get the point. You want your emotions involved, and the emotions of your prospect as well. When you have a salesman that shows you a new TV, and you can feel it that you want it, that it is exciting to have it... You usually buy it, right? Excitement and passion go hand in hand. If you have a passion, it is easy to be excited. When you are excited, it is easy to let a customer see that. When they see how much it matters to you, they want to feel that way too. And so they buy.
Chapter 9 Be yourself... I needed to point this one out, because it is a failure that a lot of people have. Be sure that you are you, and authentic. If you are trying to be someone you aren't, you won't make it very far. When you are trying to emulate someone else, to be what they are, you spend a lot of attention on that. When you instead choose to be who you are, and never mind anyone else, that is a lot of energy that you free up. Being someone else requires training, and a lot of focus on the details.... Talking right... Holding the right pose... Using the same phrasing... You name it, it is all a distraction! Be yourself. Talk like you, and people will get it. So what if you have a habit of something. You can break the habit, but you want to still be you when all is said and done. The worst part of being someone else, aside from feeling horrible about yourself because you aren't there...
The people you are dealing with are going to get annoyed with you, and expect from you things that just aren't you. You lose respect for yourself, and others do to. When you are being someone else, it is telling yourself, unconsciously, that you have no faith in who you are. You are insecure, and you are frightened that someone else won't like you. THAT is what you get being someone else. The person you are trying to be is usually being themselves - they don't have to pretend. If you can be yourself as well, you will find a LOT of power back in your hands!
Chapter 10 Focus. When you can focus on what you are doing, you are more likely to get it. If you lose focus, you can often lose the game. Let's take tennis. You are playing, doing great. You want to win. You have the drive to win. Suddenly someone walks by that catches your eye. You keep looking at them when you should be hitting the ball. Suddenly, you lost! It doesn't matter what it is that you want to see. Do you want that relationship? Focus on the one that matters, not a dozen others. Do you want that promotion? Do your job better than anyone else, keep aiming at being the best. What is it you want? Keep your eye on the ball and you can get there! Some of the biggest distractions to success are things like the news.
When you let someone else get you all upset, how can you keep excited? You want that excitement, the focus and drive to make it happen... and you want to keep it! Whatever you want, set aside the things that distract you, that take your attention from it, and work at making it happen. I am not saying that you should neglect your family if you want a better job. These are two different things. But you should encourage those around you in their own drive for success, and they should do the same for you!
Chapter 11 Karma. When I talk about Karma, I am not talking about the girl I used to work with. What I am talking about is the idea that what you give out, you will get back. If you want to see something, or have something, you should give out what you want. If you are mean to someone, they will be mean back to you. Those people will not trust you, and probably stab you in the back. If you want a simple example of how things are, with things coming back to you, here is a simple example that can easily show you. When you walk through the store, or down the street, smile at everyone you meet. Notice how many smile back. Sure, not everyone will... but there will be quite a few! It is the same with money, with anything at all, actually. Put out something of value, and you will get money back. Put out sincere feelings for your partner, and you will get them back. When you see things like infidelity in a relationship, it is usually because of a lack of attention, or a lot of negative attention. Positive attention to someone - to anyone - will get you the same back.
Now you will see some people who are determined to be mean, no matter how positive you are to them. It could be that they are having a rough day... But it could be that they are just negative type people. You should watch your friends, and who you hang out with. If you are surrounding yourself with mean people, you will get to be mean too. They may also tell you that you can never make it... that you are looking at a scam... any number of things to discourage you. Your best action, in that case, is to hang out with other people. If it is your family, you may have to deal with them. If that is the case, you should keep your conversations with them on little things, like the weather. Don't let them draw you into their drama, and don't let them make drama out of what you are doing!
Chapter 12 Make yourself known. Let people know you are there. Anything in life that you want, you are - to the other person - nobody. You can walk by on the street, and they would never notice you among the hundreds of others they see that day. This is the same whether you are talking about a relationship or a job. The other person needs to know that you are there before they can react to you. Go up to them, introduce yourself! If you are online, make yourself known some other way. This is why marketing is such a big thing. A company needs to let other people know what they have to offer, or they will be out of business. If you have a company which sells thingiebobbers, other people need to know it. If it is a product, you need to let them know what it is, and what it is good for. If you just tell them your company sells thingiebobbers, and they don't know what it is, they will just wander off on their own way. This is where passion comes in again, as well. In marketing, show your excitement.
Watch some commercials. Watch which ones catch your eye. A lot of times it is because of the excitement in it. Sometimes it is just that it is funny, or cute. A popular one right now is with an adult sitting at a table with several kids. Generally the commercial gets a laugh. The point is, it is something different, to get yourself noticed.
Chapter 13 Learning. Any successful person, who is REALLY successful, studies. Life can teach you a lot... School is just the beginning to teach you. If you want to get better at something, you need to learn from those who know how. If you want to learn chinese, you need to study it. If you want to learn to play a guitar, you need to study it. If you want a better relationship, you need to study people who have made it work. The same goes for business. Those who make money, when you ask them how they did it, will usually say they studied others who were there. I remember a while back, I was talking to a gentleman on Facebook. I had run across something that I thought was interesting, very educational and informative to help with business building. His answer to me, when I told him about it, was, "I am already getting what I want in my business. I don't need to learn anything new." That is the SUREST way to failure!
Why is that? Lets take the example of computers. You may have been one of those people who started using one ten years ago. You got to be really good at using it. You knew it inside and out, because you used it every day. You learned all about it. But you didn't study anything else, because you knew you had already what you needed. One day, your computer blows up. You take it to the repair shop, and they read the last rites on it. Suddenly, you need a new computer. What should you get? What happened to what you were using? Why isn't it available anymore? Suddenly you have to learn all over again, and could lose a lot of time doing it, because you didn't keep up with what was going on. It can be the same in business, or in relationships. By continuing to learn, you can find more and more that things seem to come together for you. You may find that things have changed in such a way that it is a lot better and
easier. Maybe that one thing you just read is the one thing that makes the difference for you between success and failure! Are you going to be one of those people who get stuck in the same rut, limiting yourself, and letting yourself get set for failure? If you play chess, and you don't study those who were successful, you will lose. New strategies may come out, or you may just forget something because you haven't used it in a long time. Keep that in mind, no matter what it is you are doing. Learn, and keep learning!
Chapter 14 Think outside of the box. Be creative. If you want to do something, especially if it is something that a lot of other people are doing, you need to be different. If you were one of a thousand people on the internet doing the same thing, in front of the same audience, what makes someone want to buy from you? You all have the same widget, and it is the same cost everywhere, and the ads are all the same. Why you? Maybe you can offer a special bonus for buyers... Maybe a totally different kind of ad... Maybe it is a different way of packaging. It is all up to you, but you need to be different from everyone else, if you want to get their attention. This comes back to my prior statements on getting yourself noticed. Take the time to study the competition, find out what they are doing, or not doing. Think about what you can do to make a better deal. Find ways to get seen that others don't.
Play with the ideas, and find something that fits your personality, and also gets the attention of others, in a positive way. When you can stand out, people WILL buy from you. It may be the same with a dozen guys asking the same girl out. Maybe when you check, you find out that her favorite flower is the tiger lily. Come to her with that flower, and she will be impressed that you went out of your way to learn about her. Maybe you are that person who can dance, or can sing, or something else. Again, it comes down to you using your skills and your creativity to make what you want happen. It doesn't matter what it is, you CAN make it happen.
Chapter 15 Plan backwards. A lot of people decide that they are going to do something to get something else. When you want a lot of money, you think about what is the next thing to do to get there. Step back and look at it differently. Most people don't think this way, and most people fail. So what do I mean? I mean, you have your goal. You know, without a doubt, what you want to have. What outcome would you need to have to get to the goal? What results along the way are necessary? THEN think about what you need to get those results. As you can see, it is about outcome based thinking. A comedian who just sprouts out old jokes is not going to get much in way of audience response... Except maybe tomatoes flying at him! Maybe the comedian wants to get a major gig in Vegas. He is currently working at a bar there.
So how does he get his goal? He needs to have his crowd cheering him on, and telling their friends about him. How does he do that? By getting the crowd to laugh like they have never laughed before. And how does he do that? By telling new jokes, that are hilarious. How does he come up with them? He thinks about what would make him laugh, and comes up with jokes and actions that do that! THIS is what I mean by outcome based thinking. It is about starting at the end, and working your way to the actions you need. If you are looking for a relationship, you can do the same.... It is the same thing with any business. Do this, and you can make a HUGE difference!
Chapter 16 Ask for the sale. Again, whether you are looking for a relationship or a sale, this is a huge part of it. You need to offer a "call to action." If you can make the greatest friend of your prospect, and get them to like you, trust you, and want to be around you... If you don't ask for a sale you will never get one! Just like the girl or guy that you knew, such a great friend, you thought of them a lot and wanted to get a relationship... Got them to really know you, and everything that would get you there... But forgot to ask them to go on a date! Suddenly they end up with someone else, because they didn't know you were interested. It is the same in business. You want to sell someone a 55 inch TV. You tell them all about it. You get them to know how to use it, why it is best... Build a great relationship, and trust with the prospect. Then you tell them to have a great day.
They walk out the door, go to the store down the street, and buy it there. Why? You did everything else... But you forgot to ask for the sale! No matter what you are trying to sell, unless you have the call to action in there, you will not get the results you want. Sure if you are selling something, you may get one or two sales. But if someone didn't ask you to actually buy something from them, would you?
Chapter 17 Take care of yourself. This may seem to be a bit of a side track, but it is actually very important. I don't just mean the obvious things like showering and dressing well. I am talking about what you put into your body. If you really want to see something scary, pay attention some time to the side effects of some drugs. It seems that a lot of them have a possible side effect of death. If you need drugs for your health, that is one thing. If it is something you don't really need I would suggest caution. A lot of the issues that cause problems for people is what they put in their body. Aside from things like MSG, and issues that have been shown with soy, you should watch what you use for sweeteners. Diet sodas have been shown to be very toxic... Just one example of the kinds of things they put out on the unsuspecting public. Side effects of diet soda include kidney damage, INCREASE in body fat, high cholesterol, bad hangovers for alcohol drinks that have diet drinks, tooth rot, reproduction issues, and a few others. It is suspected that a big part of that is the sweeteners, as regular soda doesn't seem to have the same effects.
Truvia and splenda are both bad for you. Stevia, honey, and real sugar are better options. The point is - take a few to find out the side effects of what you are putting in your body. It is generally recommended to go organic, but if you can't do that, at least go for less processed foods. I would go a step further and suggest that you also pay attention to how and where you use your cell phone. There are some tests that show the radiation can cause damage. From my own experience, I recommend that you be careful. My brain tumor was right where I used to hold my cell phone. Since then I use the speakerphone when I can. My sister and two other women I know who have had breast cancer have carried their phones in their bras. Girls that carry their phones in their back pocket seem to have a lot of reproduction problems. Is that proof? Maybe not... But why risk it?
Chapter 18 Reward yourself. One thing I really want to touch on is about rewards. So many people in business, especially self-owned businesses or entrepreneurs, tend to keep working and working to get their goal, but forget to reward themselves. When you hit a goal, make SOME kind of reward. It may be a night out on the town, a trip to your dream destination, or something else. Only you can decide what is the reward that works for you, but you need to do it. When you keep working and don't reward yourself, you will eventually get burned out. Over time, you forget why you did what you did in the first place, because it just added stress to you with no major benefit. It doesn't matter whether the success was in a relationship, a job, a physical achievement... Just make sure to take the time to celebrate getting there!
Chapter 19 A note on leadership. When you are wanting to do anything, you need to be a leader. That doesn't mean that you have a big team of people working for you. It could, but it really starts with you. If you lead yourself, you will be able to get your goals. Unless you lead yourself - hold yourself to the standards in this book - you won't get where you want. You can apply these books for a while, and if you then decide one day that you can skip it... Eventually one day becomes a week... Becomes a month... And suddenly you aren't doing anything at all. If you do end up having people you are leading, whether it is a household or a business, your leadership of yourself will be an inspiring action for them. When those who you follow see you leading yourself, then they are more inclined to follow you. If you go a step further and teach them to lead themselves, you don't have to babysit them!
After words I hope that the information in this book has helped you see how to get your own life where you want it to be. As I said at the beginning, my whole purpose of this book is to share wisdom I have learned from successful people, and guide you toward your own dreams. If you are truly motivated to move forward, sometimes you need the tool to make it happen. A lot of times, what you need is to get money. How would you like to wake up with a fresh $100 bill in your bank account?* *Results vary - for full income disclosure click here. You need to move forward. Click here and get started to be the difference you need in your life: http://bit.ly/taviuss The biggest thing you can do for yourself right now is to TAKE MASSIVE ACTION!
I have faith in you I know whatever you do you WILL succeed... if you keep at it!
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