Dear Diary

Join intrepid Content Editor Elizabeth Phillips as she narrates the wild antics of the BGQ staff

September 16: Dear Diary...

Sam wheels around the room, questioning if other staffers had ever direct messaged Drake before. Sadly, his quest was unsuccessful. Meanwhile, Aiden says, “Why don’t we just DM Pampers?” Minutes later, Sam and Aiden have crafted the so-called “perfect” DM to send to Kanye West while the rest of the staffers are cleaning up. Ted gets halfway through reading the DM and forces the phone back into Sam’s hand. Aiden, who has been working on the Drake DM, accidentally sends it unfinished. The bell rings and we are all forced to leave, meaning Aiden will have to wait to fix his mistake.

October 8: Dear Diary...

Aiden wheels around the room, asking the three editors if we wanted to try a barbeque chip. After being rejected two out of three times, he stole a Jimmy John’s free sandwich card, saying “Finders keepers, losers weepers.” As soon as he said that, his airpods fell out of his pocket, and Ted eagerly grabbed them, saying once again, “Finders keepers, losers weepers.” Jesse told us he was named after a song. Sam questions what song it is and wrongfully looks up the theme song to the Disney Channel show “Jessie.” We then find out he meant “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield. He then reassured us that his full name isn’t actually Jessie’s Girl - just Jesse. October 19: Dear Diary...

As we’re trying to figure out Issue Two, Aiden and Sam are throwing out absurd ideas, and no surprise here - they want to bring Drake v. Kanye back. Ted is upset because the bus story has been turned down yet again, despite Sam’s multiple attempts to persuade Mallory. Lucy has let a giggle escape today, which is a rare sighting in this class.

September 30: Dear Diary...

Aiden is currently upset with Mallory for helping him rewrite a sentence of his draft with more detail. After dragging her away from laying out the first issue and asking why she rewrote his sentence, he simply growled at her for the second time this week. Unsure of whether to be scared or annoyed, Mallory sent Aiden down to the library with the camera to get pictures for Lucy’s story. Roughly fifteen minutes later, Aiden had still not returned, which was quite concerning to most of us in the Pub. So Mallory set off on a search and rescue mission to the library. Upon finding Aiden in the fiction section, Mallory discovered that he had been lying on the floor to get the best angles of the books. Needless to say, Mallory was impressed yet severely concerned for Aiden’s well-being and sent him back to the Pub immediately.

November 10: Dear Diary...

The hour remained pretty uneventful until the topic of the Pub printer came up. Ms. Roskelley held up a black and white, 8x10 printed picture of Ted, who looked distraught. A note from another teacher is stuck to it, reading: “Please don’t let Pub classes use the Business printer. I have a small toner budget.” Sam frantically ran up to Ms. Roskelley’s desk, in pure disbelief that the photo was actually printed. The whole class erupted into laughter. Ms. Roskelley put her head in her hands and then reminded the class not to use other teacher’s supplies as she started looking for a new career path.

October 27: Dear Diary...

Today, a yearbook staffer came in on his third attempt to take a group photo of the entire BGQ staff. Only 12 of the 14 staffers showed up today. It’s the best we can do at this point. Mallory was asked if a picture of her working could be taken, and while I was laughing and making fun of her, I found out that a picture was being taken of the two of us. Karma strikes yet again. Aiden and Sam have been throwing out the “best” dad jokes they can. However, once Aiden presents his joke, Ms. Roskelley finishes it before he can.

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Photo: M. Swope