Expectation vs. Reality: Heading off to College

Graphic: T. Whiteford

Expectation vs. Reality: Heading Off to College

Starting over after high school is never easy. Current and former Central graduates reflect on learning how to relax despite the anxiety of starting a new chapter in life.

by ELIZABETH PHILLIPS staff writer

Amelia Shotwell ‘21 has always had high expectations of what college would look like. As early as fifth grade, she knew what she wanted to study, and by eighth grade she had already laid out her career. Now, as a senior, her dreams are quickly coming together. Shotwell plans to attend Georgetown, where she’ll study history and eventually become a history professor. But, like many seniors, Shotwell has her fears about leaving. “I think the hardest thing will be adjusting to becoming completely self-sustainable. I will have to take care of every aspect of my life while balancing a heavy workload, which I have never had to do without at least a little support. I have lived my entire life with my family and my friends, and it’s scary to adjust to a new setting and schedule without them.” Lindsey Dickinson, a college advisor at NMC, sees losing the normality and comfort of home as a frequent fear when working with incoming freshmen. “It’s stepping into the unknown, in a way. Even though you’ve been in school for the last 13 years, this is a different type of school where you are sort of driving the bus. You’re the one in charge and you’re the one who’s kind of charting your own path. I think that can be a scary thing for some students.” No matter how confident one is, anxiety tends to affect everybody. “My experiences with all freshmen, regardless of age, is that everybody has fears and anxiety about going to college. Whether it be the decision making or committing to something that just feels so big or trying something new,” Dickinson says. This can be considered difficult, but Dickinson assures that there are multiple support systems when away at college that aren’t the usual friends or family. “[It’s] hard because it feels different, but easy because there is so much help out there. And we know that our most successful students are not the ones with the highest GPA; it’s the ones that learn how to ask for help.” Hayley Scollard ‘18 experienced the same sort of fear once she left for Hope College. “The change was a huge difference, which was a lot at first. It’s a lot of fun, but it’s also a lot more difficult than a lot of people realize. You’re on your own for the first time, you’re trying to make new friends and find your group, and you’re also trying to kind of find what you value.” During Scollard’s freshman year of college, she spent most of her time studying, and fully dedicated herself to her grades. While she had good grades, she lost a year of potentially making new friends or gaining that social life she had always dreamed of. “As hard as it is, to find that balance [between schoolwork and social work] is so important. College isn’t just about getting the grades and finishing your classes and all your schoolwork, it’s also about making memories, meeting people and hanging out with friends.” Friendships that were made in high school can change once leaving for college. “I have three best friends that I kept from high school. I think as you go through college, you lose some friendships, and that’s normal. You just grow out of some friendships,” Scollard says. She has made many new friends at college, ranging from her housemates to her track friends. Scollard says it’s important to focus on both old and new friendships while away. “Make sure you’re present in college and try to make friends. My friends are at Hope, which makes it harder for me to leave. But whenever I go home, my friends from high school pick up right where we left off. I think it’s important to let the old friendships become new again or focus on letting new ones grow.” Despite the difficulties of starting over/starting new, college is an opportunity to bloom and flourish as a young adult and create a new reality for yourself. Growth through change is inevitable. Going away to college and starting anew is a perfect opportunity to grow. Scollard faced this sort of growth head on once leaving her high school friends behind. “[I think it’s important to] let the old friendships become new again or focus on letting new ones grow.” Everyone will face some sort of change when leaving for college, but the best way to handle said change is to grow from it. //