Public displays of affection is going too far for society

have a hand on theirs or holding onto their arm makes sense, people shouldn’t feel bad for that.

But in extreme cases that just brush the penal code, it is a matter of decency and respect for the people existing.

While it’s not a person’s job to cater to everyone else around them, it takes no effort to save certain things for anywhere that isn’t a public setting.

actually a comma and love is hard, rewarding work.

Unfortunately, relationships don’t start at the drop of a book in a high school hallway after crashing into someone. There is time that goes into starting the journey. The “talking stage” as we know it is compressed into 20-ish minutes on screen that really should translate to maybe three months of getting to know someone before bigger decisions are made.

Trust and communication are arguably the foundations of a relationship. Love is not instantaneous. There is no cheat code to immediately unlock the “partner” achievement. Media is borderline lackluster showing the mechanisms of a relationship because it is not easy. It is earned. There is responsibility, consistency, honesty, words that have actual meanings and genuinely affect a relationship and may be a lot to grapple with, but relationships are a team. And when you love someone, the team isn’t a chore. Because love in the real world makes the hard work worth every second. Because at the end of every hard day, there is support and devotion to the person you love because of the way they are, their unique traits and the trust you put in them.

That is real, and sometimes real life is scary. Sometimes, people want to resort to an option that is safe, that changes the person in front of them so it soothes a desire inside to find that perfect person that will come without the work. Growing up is realizing that life is no Disney movie, and loving someone is no longer about the next world-ending event but how to grow with someone and foster a love that is enriched.

Extreme public displays of affection are a hop, skip and a jump away from being so weird it could encroach on certain federal laws given the right grounds.

It’s an extreme statement, but there’s only so many times one can simply exist in public and get hit with a blatant, wound up gut punch of PDA before a viewpoint has to be written. It’s been enough times – truth be told.

Call this the statement of an unreasonably angry hater, but if that’s what it has to be then this ball will roll regardless because the hate train departs soon and there’s no getting off once becoming a witness to a couple in the middle of a library with a weird issue with PDA.

It’s not even that they are in a relationship. It’s that people with PDA problems are in a relationship, and it’s become everyone else’s problem.

Because it should be said, people don’t need to be policed. Hold hands with people, that’s fine! Hug, highfive, kiss someone— probably someone you have kissed before— it is a free country, or free enough to where loving someone publicly is within a person’s right.

The love language of physical touch is valid. Wanting to just be near a person and

Sometimes all it takes is putting oneself into another’s shoes and ask, “Is this considered to be extreme for a public setting?” Or “Would I want to see other people doing this in a public setting?” Or even, “Should this be done where people and children read books?”—just to name a few things.

There is always a time and place. It’s not reasonable to force every other unconsenting party to just be okay with it because it’s in the moment. Why is the moment happening in public at all? Wouldn’t it be better if the moment were in a private place that would make it more personal and individual?

Also, it’s just awkward.

Standing in lines shouldn’t induce these certain reactions—one would think—and the fact that it would for some couples brings up a lot of awkward questions nobody wants to ask. Living in your own world isn’t so bad until others are standing maybe a foot away from said world. It’s got a distance-decay effect because now everyone in the vicinity has to acknowledge what’s going on.

In short, couples don’t need to feel like they are in a PG-13 rated movie but at the very least should respect the spaces around them because it’s everyone’s world to live in. It’s a little more bearable when everyone has enough respect for each other to the point where some things can just wait.

Finding a partner has its ups and downs. For Black women, it’s especially challenging.

According to Pew Research Center, Black women are the least likely to get married when it comes to demographics. With Eurocentric beauty standards influencing those who live in the western world’s view on attraction, this can leave women of color, and specifically Black women, feeling undesirable.

Darker skin and kinkier hair have been seen in a negative light for decades, but what does this mean for Black people, and Black women when it comes to finding a partner?

In an age where those who are seeking connection can just download a dating app on their phones and swipe right, the disparities can be even more apparent.

Black women not only have to learn how to love their features and embrace their true selves, but they also have to face stereotypes that may hurt their chances of romance.

The “angry Black woman” stereotype may negatively influence potential love interests into thinking that Black girls are just difficult or confrontational.

Also, they don’t tend to be associated with some of the hallmarks of femininity, such as being seen as delicate, gentle, and frail. Oftentimes in the media Black women are portrayed as being manly, aggressive or even animalistic. Cartoons drawn of Serena Williams are an example of this. Racism plays a part in every facet of a Black person’s life. Romance is no exception. While it’s natural to wonder if a partner’s family and friends will be accepting of a new relationship, Black women have to consider whether or not that person’s family and friends will be willing to actually understand them. This is a reality for those dating outside of their race. Just because a partner makes them feel seen or heard, doesn’t mean their family will. What if they aren’t as accepting? What do you do?

On top of the friction that already tends to be created when two people are building such an intimate relationship with one another, now the couple has to consider how race affects their relationship. Connections tend to be built off of common interests, relatability, and familiarity. However, when it comes to dating, Black women may already have a disadvantage if they’re in a predominantly white space. Colorism is also a reality that Black women face. A woman’s proximity to whiteness may equate to her desirability in regards to romance, adding another layer to consider. Being the “pretty Black girl.” The one who may have lighter skin, lighter color hair and eyes, as well as a looser curl pattern. All of these factors create hurdles for Black women to do mental gymnastics when it comes to trying to attract a partner.

It’s important for Black women to know that they are pretty and desirable, just the way that they are. The right partner for them will not only know this, but be there to remind their Black wife, girlfriend, or partner when they’re not feeling confident in their own skin one day.

TCC CHAIR MEMBER SHEWANDA RILEY SHARES HER EXPERIENCES AS A BLACK WOMAN IN EDUCATION

Teaching and sharing people’s stories, including her own, is an important part of best selling author, podcaster, associate English professor and TCC chair member Shewanda Riley’s life.

Riley didn’t know it at the time, but experiencing heartbreak after the end of a relationship put her on a course to not only grow as an individual, but progress in her career as a writer.

“I kept a journal, because I didn’t want to throw a brick through his car window and get arrested, or slash his tires,” Riley said. “You do a lot of things when you’re in love. You get devastated and hurt. It’s about what I ended up doing – which is turning those journals into a book.”

She never thought she’d write “Love Hangover: Moving From Pain to Purpose After a Relationship Ends”, but when the opportunity presented itself she told her story, became involved in educating others and ended up helping those interested in telling their own stories.

“I would answer the phones, help them with a little bit of coffee, as well as writing and editing,” Riley said. “I was only in high school, so they would never give me a big story, but I remember that experience led me to really thinking, ‘Okay, I think I want to do this professionally.’”

Along with her teaching and writing career, Riley also utilizes her radio background in her podcast, The Chocolate Auntie.

“I love my nieces and nephews,” Riley said. “I did research to see that there aren’t a lot of podcasts that deal with the experience of the African American aunt.”

With her experiences and desire to share her love of being an aunt, she developed a podcast focused on the importance of the role.

“My hope with the podcast is for people to see the value that aunts bring to the family structure,” Riley said. “I especially want African American aunts to be seen as the pivotal figures and roles that we play within the African American community.”

Learning how to exist and thrive in predominantly white spaces taught Riley how to show up authentically and passionately, greatly impacting her relationship with herself and her future projects, like The Chocolate Auntie.

“It could be challenging because there were times when your opinion wasn’t valued,” Riley said. “There were times when your abilities were not appreciated. Even though the space itself may have been uncomfortable, it was very important for me to be authentic. Even if the people around me didn’t get it, that was okay. I’ve learned that you just have to be authentic and true to yourself.”

Riley’s involvement at TCC is important to her as well. Her love for working with students has been the foundation of her time on campus.

“My first ten years at TCC, I was just teaching because I love dealing with students,” Riley said.

“That experience of getting dumped led me to do something I never thought I’d do –write a book. Which then led me to do other things like teach college English,” Riley said. “I wasn’t teaching English at the time, even though I wanted to, I was doing radio fulltime, but that one experience led me to being a writer now for a newspaper in Dallas that I’ve done for over 20 years – Dallas Weekly. I do writing workshops and I’ve helped other people get books published by coaching them through the process.”

Sharing her story with others was important to her and felt like the right thing to do.

“I really felt led by God to put my story out there, because it would then help other people, so that’s what I did,” Riley said.

Riley, the product of a military household, was able to experience the vastness of the world, and develop important parts of who she is today. It helped her to develop a love for travel, and created a sense of curiosity for the world around her.

“It was interesting being able to travel to different countries, and then hear my father talk about his experiences, because it allowed me to see how big and wonderful the world is,” she said.

Editor of her high school newspaper and yearbook staff, Riley wanted to gain experience in what she calls “the real world”.

Asst. English professor Annette Cole said Riley incorporates the skills she’s gained in her journalism career in her teaching at TCC.

“She’s innovative and seeks ways to engage her students,” Cole said. “Her teaching composition classes affords her the best opportunity to bring in her journalistic experience and her awareness of issues that face our students.”

Aside from the knowledge Riley is able to share, Cole said her influence is of great value as well.

“Dr. Riley has encouraged me to be more positive and accept that the challenges in our lives are there to strengthen and refine us,” she said.

Riley also serves as a TCC chair member. She’s a member of the JCC, joint consultation committee, where she is able to do something she loves – helping others.

“I’ve learned a lot about myself in terms of my own leadership, vision, and my leadership values, it’s a lot of fun,” she said.

Riley’s book also led her to an important realization about her service to others.

“In the end, the book helped and continues to help people deal with the devastation and disappointment of a romantic heartbreak, but then it also allowed me to realize that there’s a legacy that I leave behind with words that I write,” she said.