The Daily Singal 867-5309 ... Call us, maybe?
Snappin’ necks and cashin’ checks since 1885
fuckityfuck.net
May 27, 2010
TUNJ and Git being sued for ‘Drunk Stuff’ Officials stay classy as students get wasted
Ice - T / Eye of the Tiger
Students have been found passed out from excessive drinking in various places throughout TUNJ following ‘Drunk Stuff.’
By Kujo Jehovah Certifiable Editor
The subpoena landed in the Git’s mailbox late last week with the devastating news — The University of New Jersey is being sued for $5.5 million. Following The Singal’s St. Patrick’s Day “Drunk Stuff,” which featured a full page of drinking games and recipes, came a wave of complaints from parents and Spewing Township residents about the sudden increase in drunken activity. A large group of parents and
Spewing residents, including Mayor Cheeseburger, joined together to file the lawsuit, citing the column as illegal because of its encouragement of underage drinking. Sophomore rainbow chemistry major Jack Lew had never heard of an Irish trash can before reading the column. The drink combines shots of six different liquors and a can of Red Bull, which slowly turns the drink green. “I was intrigued that it changed colors,” he said. “When I couldn’t figure out how it was happening, I just drank it.”
According to police, Lew was found on the basketball court screaming, “I wanna be an airborne ranger!” When officers tried to apprehend him, Lew frantically exclaimed that he could not leave because he is thinking about trying out for a scholarship. The Singal’s “Cop Shopalypse” has also doubled in length following the column, featuring more and more shitfaced amateurs forgetting their names and doing dumb shit. Representing the mayor and residents is Cefilia Legging Gremlin, an attorney known for being an over-the-hill goody-goody. TUNJ and the Git do not have legal representation yet, but are accepting applicants and are holding auditions. Experience is optional. Singal reporters reached out for comment from the Git, who then proceeded to go all Eminem on their asses responding, “I JUST DON’T GIVE A FUUUUUCK!” She then cut a line of coke with the envelope from the subpoena, sniffed and then screamed, “I’m fucking alive!” before slamming the door. Mayor Cheeseburger, on the other hand, had plenty to say on the matter. “The Git has found herself in a lot of hot cooking oil this time, and we have mad beef with that ho,” he said. “Lettuce monitor the content of Singal so that the university can ketchup to the level of Spewing Township.” A few bad puns later, the mayor cut a rail of coke with his American Express Black Card, snorted it, rubbed the remaining residue on his
gums and said, “Keepin’ it classy, bitches.” Cheeseburger then got into his stretch Hummer limousine, stuck his head out of the sun roof and proceeded to motorboat a scantily clad woman before exclaiming, “I’m rich, beeyotch!” Aside from the lawsuit against TUNJ, a number of private domestic violence lawsuits have been filed among students as a result of the game “fisty kisses,” which ultimately results in the loser getting punched in the mouth, which up until this point has been all females. “Let’s face it, girls never win drinking games,” the Git said in regards to the lawsuits. “Maybe if they weren’t bitches they could keep up with the boys.”
Hall&Oats / Private Eye
Kirsten Dunst refused to be a bitch and play regular ‘quarters,’ but suffered a busted lip from ‘fisty kisses.’
Balls stolen, cockfighting and more By Moe, Larry and Curly bitchass comedians
Two sophomore males were found drunkenly pissing off of the roof of Forchina Hall. When questioned, they stated that they were simply trying to protect the campus from knife wielders. They were deemed successful and awarded with gold and riches. … An artist was arrested for placing four giant sparkly balls in the area between M&M building and the Bullshit Building. In further news, the same artist has been accused of stealing $100,000 from TUNJ. … Two caucasian males were arrested on Friday when they were found with two of the University’s “Big Ass Shiny Balls” outside of local bar Fastcum’s. Their only comment:
“We just wanted the bad-assiest giant bowling balls ever.” … A female was found drunk and incoherent outside of Chupacabrae Hall. When asked her name, she replied, “December 21, 2012.” She has since been transported to the Vatican for immediate execution. … University President The Git was found outside of the prison with a spade shovel, a flashlight and a pocketful of nail files on Tuesday morning at approximately 2 a.m. The Git was apprehended, and after drug testing was found to have large amounts of cocaine in her system. She could be heard shouting one thing as she was forced into the police car: “I gotta free mah bitches!!!” …
A student was reprimanded after putting large amounts of bubble bath in the fountain outside of the AIMMNFGJKL Building. As the student was taken away in handcuffs, he could be heard shouting “I just wanted to clean the campus, bitches!” before spitting in a police officer’s face. … A student was arrested for a cockfighting competition. There were no chickens found. Clothes were found all over the immediate area. Officers wrote them a citation for not using protection and then joined in with their “nightsticks.” … Jerry Sandusky, who was at the aforementioned cockfight, was found in the shower with approximately 30 young roosters. He said the cockfight was “boring.” He received a slap on the wrist and was allowed to finish. The End ... for now
Photo courtesy of Heywood Jablome
Drunk editors: ‘Piss off’
Two Singal editors were found drinking and being merry while writing two ‘Things to Do’ columns for different holidays. A. Lax Wolf and B. Sizzle McGrizzle, the Sprots and Creatures Editors, respectively, were found passed out in the Singal basement with BACs well over .25. Some lame professors made their way down upon hearing the news and proceeded to kick the two editors while they were down. One of them then farted on their faces. The Singal should probably write something more about this or fire the two editors, but what the fuck would that accomplish? It would just mean the rest of us need to pick up their slack. Fuck that shit.
Snow storm called for end of week It was the hottest March in history, but meteorologists announce a blizzardsized storm by the end of the week.
Snooki supports women The preggo star will speak for Women’s History Month... she hasn’t gotten the memo that it was last month.
See End of the World page 2012
See Anti-Christ page 300
INSIDE? Go Fuck Yourselves Mother Fuckers!
69 69 69 69 69
page that you’re on The Singal May 27, 2010
Creatures! =0
Invading Britan
Campus Fashion By Cubst Udchair Pain-in-the-butt
Dear Singal, So I’ve been in England for about two-and-a -half months now, and the one topic that keeps coming up is the Revolutionary War. And by “keeps coming up,” I mean “I keep getting drunk and starting fights over it.” For some reason, many of the British refuse to admit that they did indeed lose the war. Usually the conversation ends with some dirty looks and the agreement to disagree (with the understanding that, as an American, I’m right), but this past weekend the argument escalated from “drunken yelling” to “full out bar brawl with Shaun attempting to claim Newcastle upon Tyne for America.” I’m a little fuzzy on all of the details, but the parts I can’t remember I’ve either found out from others or have totally made up. It started out as a normal Friday night. The other American students and I went out with a few of our British friends, looking forward to a night of booze-soaked clubbing debauchery. We went to pre-drink at a popular local trebles bar because, as everyone knows, no one likes clubbing unless they’re being fueled with enough vodka to down a young elephant. After about the second treble, we began talking about our favorite topic: America is the best country in the whole goddamn world. “America is the best country in the whole goddamn world,” I said, slamming my drink on the table for emphasis. Bleary-eyed, my American companions nodded in agreement. The British, however, were less complimentary. “The best? How much debt are you in? How insane are your Republican candidates? You even needed the French to help you beat us.” Their smugness was as pronounced as their accents. How dare they bring up the French. “HOW DARE YOU BRING UP THE FRENCH. WE DIDN’T NEED ANY BAGUETTE MUNCHERS TO HELP US KICK YOUR RED-COATED ASSES,” I shouted, because at this stage of the night I chose to ignore all historical evidence that might contradict whatever I said. “IN FACT, IF WE WANTED TO, WE COULD TAKE OVER THIS WHOLE FUCKING CITY. HOW’D YOU LIKE TO BE AMERICA’S BITCHES?” Things are a little fuzzy after that point, but from what I’ve been told I attempted to rile the other Americans into joining me in my crusade to claim Newcastle for America. I’m not sure that I had a plan, exactly. It was really more of a vodka-and-patriotism driven idea. As far as I know no blood was shed, but plenty of drinks were spilled and I’m sure I made somebody cry. I was also told that I called everyone in the bar “a bunch of tea-drinkin’ motherfuckers,” but I refuse to believe that I could be that crude. Similarly, I find it unlikely that, before I was kicked out, I flipped every table in the bar while shouting, “This is what we do in ‘Merica, bitches.” In my defense, I was really just showing pride in my country. Because really, what’s more American than drinking and insulting people from other cultures? Cheers, Shaun FitzPatriot Revolutionist
Forget fitted jeans, blazers and button-downs. Disregard the idea of looking “put together.” There is a new trend in fashion hitting stores in the coming months, straight from the Paris runways. The lucky part about this new trend is that it’s based on simplicity, and many people have been dressing this was for years, being fashion-forward even when it wasn’t fashionable. Sweatpants that barely hit the ankle, solid T-shirts, flannels and the messy look are in. Although many fashionistas are up in arms because this will completely reshape fashion’s future, the trend is here to stay. In this trend, simplicity meets the lumber jack look, which then meets wannabe gang member, and it has been practiced for years by numerous lazy men on campus. Sloppiness is in again like it was in the ’90s. Just ask the Singal’s very own Creatures editor, Brilliantand Witty. How did you know that your fashion sense would actually be fashion sense someday? I just know these things. I wasn’t going to bother buying a well-kept wardrobe if I knew I didn’t need to impress anyone. I’m a bum and I don’t need to put on a front that I actually care about my appearance. Can you tell us about your wardrobe today? I typically wear this specific outfit twice a week. Today I’m wearing sweatpants, New Balance black sneakers, white ribbed socks that are easily visible, a white shirt from Express that I hope I don’t get grease on and a black and white flannel. I’m comfy in this outfit. “Comfort over fashion” has always been my motto.
Julia is a bad bad person
Going off this, why is comfort so important? Who wants to be stuck in a button-down all day? When I graduate, I’ll be doing that all the time. Why should I let that future professional attire filter into my personal style? I’m a nonconformist. I never understood why people absolutely had to dress like they always had some special place to go. What is your favorite store? I really like K-Mart. They have a lot of great finds. How do you feel about people copying your style? I knew it would happen someday. I happen to be really awesome. Plus, it was only a matter of time before people got tired of having blisters and other injuries from clothes — I find it ridiculous that people actually walk in pain all day to break-in shoes. These are things to dress in— you don’t need battle wounds to complete your outfit.
Ickhoff: edible, but in the worst way By Latrell Sprewell Drunkstuff Editor
In this week’s food review, I decided to take on our very own Ickhoff Hall. I was in a pizza mood (although I guess they serve everything?) so I decided to order a pepperoni pizza. I couldn’t find them on Grub Hub, so I got ambitious and searched all over the University’s website until I found it. I was unimpressed by the customer service to start with. I finally got someone on the phone and started placing my order until the person on the other end yelled, “The fuck you think this is, Dominos, motherfucker?” and hung up on me. It was then that I realized I would probably have to head to this place in person and do this the old school way. I normally don’t get off my ass for anything less than a nationally recognized eatery, but since I heard such great things about Ick I had to go.
I stepped foot into the dining hall and was greeted with a wonderland of food stations, circle-shaped booths and the tantalizing aroma of every food I’ve ever had rolled into one. Those smells were most likely all coming from the pizza station. My hopes of getting a large pepperoni pie were dashed when I saw only strange pies staring back at me. Pies included a cupcake and ground beef pie; a bacon, cauliflower, chocolate chip and hummus pie; a “cow pie,” which appeared to have grass, dandelions and clovers on the pie and lastly one titled the “E. Col Pie” which had corn and what appeared to be fecal matter on it. I was tempted by the “E. Col Pie,” but I ended up taking the cupcake and ground beef pie, since not only is beef “what’s for dinner,” but cupcakes are what’s for dessert. It fucking sucked. The end. Never go there if you appreciate your intestines.
The author has actually never been to Eick
Ickhoff has come a long way, but there is still great room for improvement as we move toward a new age of pizza. Ickhoff Where: The Twilight Zone When: Always open
Why: To cause students intestinal pain
Overall: Booooooo!
Women’s Lacrosse defeats no. 1 See
gettysburg
sports page
YouTube sensation Alex Goot performed cover songs in the Rat
24
See A & E page 15
Vol. CXXXVI, No. 11
April 4, 2012
Serving The College of New Jersey community since 1885
Autism Awareness Week prompts serious discussion
Faculty instructor questions proposed changes to disorder’s definition By Amy Reynolds Features Assistant
In one year, more children will be diagnosed with autism than with childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes and pediatric AIDS combined, according to a statistic from autismspeaks.org. Events on Monday, March 19 kicked off Autism Awareness Week at the College, a tradition started last year by senior special education and psychology double major, Alyssa SooHoo. In addition to fundraising for Autism N.J., an agency comitted to ensuring safe and fulfilling lives for individuals with autism, “The main purpose of Autism Awareness Week is to spread awareness across TCNJ’s campus,” SooHoo said. On Monday, a Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of psychiatric disorders panel discussed “What is Autism?,” including signs and symptoms of the neurological disorder. “A person can qualify for an (Autism
Spectrum Disorder) diagnosis by exhibiting at least six of 12 behaviors that include deficits in social interaction, communication or repetitive behaviors,” said Jennifer Nolte, a school counselor and adjunct faculty instructor in the Graduate Counseling Program at the College. She also discussed proposed changes to the definition of a person with autism, ultimately changing the criteria for diagnosing ASD. “The impact (of the new proposal) can result in discrimination against people who are more cognitively capable but still have autism,” Nolte said. Because of these changes, children who need intervention would not qualify to receive it, which would create a multitude of new problems resulting from the lack of care and treatment given to those in need. see AUTISM page 13
Photo courtesy of Alyssa SooHoo
Alyssa SooHoo, right, poses for photos with author David Finch, left, who visited Thursday to talk about his experience with Asperger syndrome. SooHoo started the tradition of the College’s Autism Awareness Week last year.
Students don hoodies in protest Internet crashes, recovers hours later By Tom Ciccone News Editor
The College experienced an Internet outage this Sunday, April 1 from early in the morning to the middle of the afternoon. According to the Vice President for College Advancement Matthew Golden, the outage occurred when a NJEDge.Net Camden facility went through a network outage, affecting the College’s internet access. NJEDge.Net provides Internet access to the College through a statewide network service. Referred to as a high-speed regional optical network, the College is part of an system that connects to other colleges in N.J., as well as grade schools, libraries, teaching hospitals and research agencies, according to NJEDge.Net’s website. Golden said that other colleges were likely affected by the internet crash, although the College’s Information Technology department did not divulge this information. Ashley Long / Photo Editor
In response to the recent shooting of Florida teenager Trayvon Martin, Joseph Camiolo — a sociology professor at the College — and his Introduction to Sociology class are engaging in a form of protest against Martin’s death that has gained national recognition in recent weeks. Students, public figures and even athletes are wearing hoodies, symbolizing the last clothes that Martin was wearing when he was shot and killed by volunteer neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman in Sanford, Fla. on Feb. 26. The entire Miami Heat NBA team publicly wore hoodies in a team photo on March 22, while various public figures such as Illinois House Representative Bobby Rush have also engaged in the trending movement. INDEX: Nation & World / Page 7 The Signal @TCNJsignal
Editorial / Page 9
Opinions / Page 11
Features / Page 13
Sorry, no Cop Shop in this issue. Tune in next week...
Arts & Entertainment / Page 15
Mixed Signals Softball team dominates ‘Rock’ out Kendall Hall Lions win Improv groups showcase three straight. comedic talents. See A&E page 15 See Sports page 21
Funstuff / Page 17
Sports / Page 24
Author looks to stop violent crime David Kennedy visited the College. See News Page 5
page 2 The Signal April 4, 2012
Premier Dedicated Off-campus Housing Serving TCNJ
iPad Giveaway OPEN HOUSE
APRIL 12TH | 5-7PM Visit: www.ClubTCNJ.com for Details
Assigned Parking Only 1.9 Miles from Campus 208 Sullivan Way | Ewing, NJ 08628
4.3 Acres of Wi-Fi Access Tranquil Setting - Safe Area Laundry Room On-Site Fire Pit - BBQ Sites
DEVON c: 516-236-0269 e: Rentals@ClubTCNJ.com
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 3
SFB funds Haitian celebration, tables SG requests By Tom Ciccone News Editor
Vicki Wang / Photo Assistant
SFB motioned to fund a number of events at its last meeting, including the ‘Seventh Annual Ambiance’ event.
Student Finance Board funded $5,835 for the Haitian Student Association’s ‘Seventh Annual Ambiance’ event which is designed to raise awareness on Haitian culture, featuring live music, food and a DJ. SFB also granted $2,400 for the Inter Greek Council’s (IGC) Air Band event. The funding was exclusively for renting a new stage because there had been complaints the previous year of the quality of the Brower Student Center stage that was used. “We used the student center stage last year and it came apart,” Claire Huynh, sophomore history major and French and Spanish minor and IGC VP of programming, said. SFB passed a resolution to fund $3,500 for Inter-Greek Council’s
other event having speaker and dancer Rick Daniels come to the College. SFB motioned to fund $2,094 for The Mars Hill Christian Ministry’s benefit concert that will be held as part of their “Love Centered Week,” which will also include a poetry slam, coffeehouse and movie screening. MHCM originally requested $2,314 but SFB decided that the extra money for catering wasn’t necessary. SFB also motioned to fully fund a requested $1,137 for the College’s Muslim Student Association’s Islam Awareness Week, which is scheduled to be in the Decker Hall Lounge featuring Mediterranean food and a keynote speaker. SFB approved funding for $1,000 for the Spanish Club’s film screening of “The Other Side
of Immigration,” a documentary about illegal immigration. The funding was requested because Roy Germano, the director of the film, will make an appearance at the event. Student Government made a request of $3,825 that was eventually tabled after much discussion about the cost of food for the event. Titled, “Student Government Meat’n’Greet,” the event planned to offer food to students in the College’s Alumni Grove, where they could ask questions and submit concerns to SG representatives. SFB denied funding $6,268.10 for Freshman Class Council’s planned trip to take freshman students of the College to Six Flags Great Adventure. The decision was reached after a six-to-seven vote prompted SFB to suggest that a different idea be proposed for funding.
SG approves new Libertarian club, denies Net Impact
Ashley Long / Photo Editor
SG granted permission for a new club to form. The Student Liberty Front is based on Libertarian ideals. By Kelly Johnson News Editor Libertarians at the College now have a club of their own after Student Government approved Student Liberty Front during its meeting on Wednesday, March 29.
The club plans to discuss Libertarian theory during its regular meetings, including free market, international free trade and open immigration among other nations. According to its representatives, the group also plans to hold events and feature speakers in order to “justify our
Wait, don’t leave!
position philosophically.” SG voted not to approve new club Net Impact, a group designed to use business skills in order to tackle relevant social and environmental issues in the College community. Representatives of the organization said it would not just be a club for business students, but that they would work to bring all of the schools together for projects. Many SG members, however, expressed concern that the club was not original in comparison to other community groups at the College, like the Bonner Center. Some also thought that the club needed to be more organized. “They have a lot of stuff to do,” said Joseph Dicarlo, freshman political science major. “They need to plan more.” SG vice president of advancement and junior marketing and Spanish double major Christina Kopka announced the Drink Responsibly Campaign to raise awareness about the amount of waste that the College produces when using disposable coffee cups and encourage students to reuse mugs. The campaign will include a “make-
your-own trail mix” in Eickhoff, a cupcake stand in Alumni Grove and more. Sadia Mansoor Tahir, junior biology major and SG vice president of equity and diversity, announced the annual Writings on the Wall. The wall was built outside of the Brower Student Center and will remain erect until Friday. All students are encouraged to write words or phrases of discrimination that they have ever been called. The wall will then be torn down and broken into pieces, which will be handed out to students. Tahir also announced that a hoodie will be hung from the wall before it is torn down, symbolizing the ongoing Trayvon Martin case in Florida and ending racial profiling and injustice. Cosponsoring with Colleges Against Cancer and Phi Kappa Psi, SG announced again that Relay for Life will take place on April 13. Several clubs at the College are forming teams for the event, but students are also encouraged to make their own teams with friends. Teams can sign up at relayforlife.org.
Evangelist preaching at the College
There’s more news online! Don’t forget to comment — we want to hear your feedback!
tcnjsignal.net Check out our website for exclusive content, including video interviews, interactive polls and much more !
Ashley Long / Photo Editor
Once again, the College had a taste of fire and brimstone outside the Brower Student Center. Shawn Holes of the Luke 10:2 Ministry paid another visit on Wednesday, March 28. His last visit was in early February. Calling out his Evangelist beliefs, Holes held some heated discussions with students as Campus Police officers cautiously monitored his demonstration.
page 4 The Signal April 4, 2012
Classifieds
Country Club Apts - TCNJ Premier Off-Campus Housing Complex Mix of 2, 3, 4 bedrooms suites. Heat, Hot Water, Assigned Parking included! 5 Acres of Wireless Internet, Fire and BBQ areas, 1.9 miles from campus www.clubtcnj.com rentals@clubtcnj.com 516 236 - 0269 Devon
… Want to advertise with us? Email signalad@tcnj.edu.
DEFINE YOUR FUTURE AT STEVENS. High-Impact, Applied Graduate Education. Minutes from Manhattan. Choose from more than 40 nationally recognized, market-driven master’s programs and 22 Ph.D. programs including: #VTJOFTT *OUFMMJHFODF BOE "OBMZUJDT #JPNFEJDBM &OHJOFFSJOH $PNQVUFS 4DJFODF $ZCFSTFDVSJUZ &OWJSPONFOUBM &OHJOFFSJOH 'JOBODJBM &OHJOFFSJOH *OGPSNBUJPO 4ZTUFNT
.#" JO 5FDIOPMPHZ .BOBHFNFOU .FDIBOJDBM &OHJOFFSJOH 4PGUXBSF &OHJOFFSJOH 4ZTUFNT &OHJOFFSJOH 5FDIOPMPHZ 1PMJDZ BOE &UIJDT $IFNJDBM &OHJOFFSJOH &MFDUSJDBM &OHJOFFSJOH
Ranked in the top 3 percent of U.S. schools for return on investment for students (Bloomberg Businessweek)
APPLY NOW FOR SUMMER & FALL
Attend Our Graduate Open House t April 28 or July 28 t 10 a.m. t Hoboken, NJ
A NEW MUSICAL
Visit stevens.edu/conj to learn more.
Raul Esparza
LEAP OF FAITH in
Based on the motion picture, “Leap of Faith”, produced by Paramount Pictures Corporation and written by Janus Cercone
Music by
Alan Menken Janus Cercone
Book by and Warren Leight
Lyrics by
Glenn Slater
Choreography by
Sergio Trujillo Directed by
Christopher Ashley Photo: Chris Callis
Must purchase by 4/26 for performances through 5/13
LEAPOFFAITHBROADWAY.COM TELECHARGE.COM or 212.239.6200
ST. JAMES THEATRE BOX OFFICE, 246 WEST 44TH
Like Us on Facebook: Facebook.com/LeapOfFaithBway
Follow us on Twitter: @LeapofFaithBway
Kennedy: Communication to end violence April 4, 2012 The Signal page 5
By Natalie Kouba Staff Writer
Simple communication can put a violent city on the right track, according to David Kennedy, criminal justice professor and director of the Center for Crime Prevention and Control at John Jay College. Kennedy lectured in the College’s Library Auditorium on Tuesday, March 27. Celia Chazelle, department chair and professor of history at the College, briefly introduced Kennedy and his new book, “Don’t Shoot: One Man, A Street Fellowship, and the End of Violence in Inner-City America.” Kennedy was first inspired to take action against inner-city violence after experiencing the crime in Nickerson Gardens, Los Angeles. “I have never been so scared in my life, before or since,” Kennedy read aloud from his book. After traveling across the U.S. to numerous cities, he shared his experiences, many of which were shocking. On his latest trip to Kalamazoo, M.I., he explained how three pastors who served as his guides saw their city affected by gang violence. To them, he said, “Corners are not just corners. They are where my brother got shot.”
Ashley Long / Staff Photo Editor
Author and professor David Kennedy spoke at the College about how to end inner-city violence.
While having conversations with people in the city, Kennedy was stricken that “people can’t even remember their own dead.” In order to change the atmosphere in inner-cities, Kennedy works with various communities of the neighborhood — gang members, officers and officials
and the other citizens affected by the crime. He ventures from city to city bringing these three very different groups together, in hopes of putting an end to innercity violence. For one hour, these three communities are brought together in a room to talk, share stories and change opinions. The reason this works, Kennedy said, is because “everybody involved wants what’s going on to stop.” “Communication is the answer. It’s so simple,” said Jessica Lee, freshman biology major, following the lecture. “They just need to talk.” In 1994, Kennedy worked with the Boston authorities to hold these open hour-long sessions in their own city. It became known as Operation Ceasefire, as crime was greatly reduced. “Youth homicide went down two-thirds. Homicides across the city went down 50 percent,” he said. Once seeing the successful results in Boston, he continued helping other cities change to become more peaceful places. The results of these sessions have proven to be quite effective, according to Kennedy, and are therefore being implemented throughout the country. Following the lecture, Kennedy held a book signing for the attendees.
Harm may not be as harmful as it seems By Andrew Miller Nation & World Editor
Ashley Long / Photo Editor
Professor Ben Bradley analyzed whether good always follows harm.
Is there such thing as harm? Ben Bradley, a professor at Syracuse University, attempted to answer the controversial question on Thursday, March 29 in the Library Auditorium. Bradley analyzed conventional accounts of what harm is, and then proceeded to discount them all. For example, the counterfactual theory of harm is defined to be an act that causes something bad to happen to someone or cause something good to not happen. Bradley countered this claim, saying, “My failure to send all my money to OXFAM right now counts as harmful to those who would have been benefited by me sending the money.”
Also, Bradley used the example of two assassins: If the two were to shoot a bullet at someone at the same time — and both bullets were sufficient enough to kill — it would be impossible to assign blame to one of the individuals, according to the counterfactual theory of harm. This is because it is not known which person caused the death. Each bullet may not have actually killed the person because the other bullet could have killed the person first. It is this kind of moral problem inherent in the definition of overall harm that makes it difficult to actually employ the word in moral frameworks. Therefore, Bradley rejected the idea of overall harm because of its impracticality. Bradley also raised the question of overall harm. Bradley illustrated this
with an example: Person One punches Person Two. Because of this, Person Two goes to the hospital, and doctors find a pre-existing tumor in Person’s Two brain. Relatively, Person Two is not harmed overall, for his life is saved. “We can have very little certainty about the moral wrongness of anything anyone actually does, since, for all we know, there could be some distant consequence that is good enough to outweigh the immediate bad consequence,” Bradley said. Bradley focuses primarily on ethical theory and the philosophy of death in his work, according to the Syracuse website. His book, “Well-Being and Death” was published in 2009 and he is currently working on “Oxford Handbook of Philosophy of Death.”
Privacy promised in new app Bait bikes nabbing
By Kelly Johnson News Editor
Social media users have a new platform for event planning, interaction and photo sharing that may give Facebook a run for its money. “Our main competitor is not Facebook ‘per se,’ rather, our main competitor is Facebook Events,” said Capsule’s community manager Saul Artiga. Capsule, a web and mobile app, is a new competitor of Facebook Events, according to Artiga, offering the same capabilities of Facebook — creating an event page, inviting people, posting on a wall and sharing photos — as well as adding a few more features. The program includes a mobile camera app called CapsuleCam, which connects the user’s camera to the capsule, or event space, and allows
trycapsule.com
Capsule, a new event-planning app, promises more features and privacy than Facebook.
them to instantly upload photos taken at the event into the capsule. Each capsule, or event, is also given a phone number, and with that number one person can send a text message to everyone in the group. Artiga explained this in an email interview — if an event is canceled, one person can send a message to the given number and everyone in the group will receive it. Capsule also features a TV Mode, where the user can connect a laptop to a television in a setting where everyone can see it. When people at an event take photos with CapsuleCam and share them, the photos will be displayed on the television. The feature is “kind of like those ‘text this number to have your message on the screen’ type of deals, except ours is free and it uses photos,” Artiga said. Capsule began in February 2011 and was founded by Cyrus Farudi and Omri Cohen, who attended 14 weddings and nine bachelor parties in one year and felt that other event planning apps were lacking in features. The app is still very new, but its popularity is growing steadily. “In our two months from launch, we have grown faster than Twitter did in six months,” Artiga said, although exact numbers of users are not yet available. One of the greatest features of Capsule over Facebook and other event planning apps, according to its founders, is that Capsule is completely private and only the members of the capsule can see what is posted. Artiga is confident that Capsule is a better product than Facebook Events and anticipates the program taking over their dominion very soon. “I could see this becoming the next powerhouse in the event planning space,” Artiga said. Users can sign up for free at trycapsule.com.
thieves on campuses By Alex Wolfe Sports Editor Infractors looking for a free ride should beware, because a new online series is looking to expose bike thieves. “To Catch a Bike Thief,” a new online series being put out by Sweet Currant Productions and web producer Ingo Lou, will be targeting bike bandits by placing “bait bikes” on college campuses. “I think on the whole the web series is meant to be part education, part entertainment, part documentary,” Lou said. The show premiered on Monday, April 2, and the studio held a premiere party that included a lock-cutting contest in which participants raced to be the first to cut a bike lock and win the bike it was attached to. Lou said this was to raise awareness for just how easy it is to cut a bike lock. While the first few episodes are taking place in Canada, Lou hinted that next might be the west coast and the show is looking to broaden its horizons. “We’ve talked to a couple of colleges in Canada, but we found that our show, at least the trailer for our show, became quite popular in California and in particular San Francisco because there’s a very strong and very vibrant bike culture,” Lou said. The first season will consist of six webisodes, but according to Lou the show has already been inquired about by TV big shots. “We’ve had some really early and unexpected interest from a production company that specializes in creating reality TV,” Lou said. Last summer served as a test period for the show’s creators, when they placed DIY bait bikes in different locations to test their concept out. Those interested in checking out the premiere episode can check it out on tocatchabikethief.com.
page 6 The Signal April 4, 2012
$18.50
4/30/12
4/30/12
Join our VIP Club! Text 91944 “Mamma” for discounts and specials. Holding an event soon? Ask about our catering!
Nation & W rld
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 7
7 dead, 3 hurt in Christian school shooting N.J. News OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) — A gunman opened fire at a Christian university in California Monday. Police in California say seven people have died. Spokeswoman Cynthia Perkins confirmed the death count Monday afternoon. She did not release any other details about the victims, but said city officials planned a news conference later. Earlier in the day, police detained a person believed to be responsible in the shooting at Oikos University. They have not released the person’s identity or discussed a possible motive. The shooting erupted around midmorning at Oikos University in Oakland and left seven dead, according to City Council President Larry Reid, who said he was told the count by the police chief. Police believe the shooter acted alone, Reid said. The suspect was taken into custody in the neighboring city of Alameda, according to law enforcement officials who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to release information regarding the shooting. Officer Johnna Watson did not give any other details about the suspect. Authorities earlier described him as a heavyset Korean man in his 40s wearing khaki clothing. “I can confirm that we do have one person who has been detained that we believe is possibly responsible for this shooting,” Watson said. KTVU-TV reported that the shooter was a student and opened fire in one of the classrooms. Earlier, television news footage showed a chaotic and terrifying scene as heavily
Muslim monitoring approved
NEWARK, N.J. (AP) — A new poll finds most N.J. residents support the secret monitoring of Muslim groups by the New York Police Department. The Rutgers-Eagleton Poll released Friday found 47 percent of N.J. felt the monitoring was necessary, while 32 percent were against it, saying it violated civil liberties. Twelve percent said it was necessary even though it violated civil liberties.
Christie: Lautenberg should retire
AP Photo
An Oakland police officer approaches the entrance to Oikos University in Oakland, Calif. on Monday after reports of a school shooting. armed officers swarmed into the building, located in a large industrial park near the Oakland airport. The footage also showed bloodied victims on stretchers being loaded into ambulances. Several bodies covered in sheets were laid out on a patch of grass. Pastor Jong Kim, who founded the school about 10 years ago, told the Oakland Tribune that the shooter was a nursing student who was no longer enrolled. He did not know if the shooter was expelled or dropped out. Kim said he heard about 30 rapid-fire gunshots in the building. “I stayed in my office,” he said. Deborah Lee, who was in an English language class, said she heard five to six gunshots at first. “The teacher said, `Run,’ and we ran,” she said. “I was OK, because
News Bits
Lucy, a common name for the skeletal remains of a human-like organism that was believed to live around three million years ago, seems to have had company — another prehuman that also walked but spent more of its time in trees. Until now, there was no proof of another human relative living around the same time as Lucy. The discovery gives insight into the evolution of a key human trait: walking on two legs. ... The media is taking on an increasingly policelike role in the Trayvon Martin slaying by using modern forensic techniques to analyze evidence. Some legal experts say this may distort the case, for key evidence is still unknown. ... President Barack Obama’s administration launched a multi-pronged assault on Mitt Romney’s values and foreign policy credentials Sunday, while a fresh set of prominent Republicans rallied behind the GOP front-runner as the odds-on nominee — further signs the general election is overtaking the primary season. ... The U.K. government is preparing proposals for a nationwide electronic surveillance network that could potentially keep track of every message sent by any Brit to anyone at any time, an industry official briefed on the government’s moves said Sunday. Courtesy of the Associated Press
I know God protects me. I’m not afraid of him.” Angie Johnson told the San Francisco Chronicle that she saw a young woman leave the building with blood coming from her arm and crying: “I’ve been shot. I’ve been shot.” The injured woman said the shooter was a man in her nursing class who got up and shot one person at point-blank range in the chest before spraying the room with bullets, Johnson said. “She said he looked crazy all the time,” she said the victim told her, “but they never knew how far he would go.” According to its website, Oikos University offers studies in theology, music, nursing and Asian medicine. A telephone message left on the university’s voicemail was not immediately returned.
MANCHESTER, N.J. (AP) — Gov. Chris Christie suggested Thursday that U.S. Sen. Frank Lautenberg should retire, saying the 88-year-old statesman should be ashamed for opposing a plan to merge two South Jersey universities. Earlier this week, Lautenberg wrote to the U.S. education secretary requesting a federal review of a plan to merge Rutgers-Camden with Rowan University, suggesting it was meant as a power grab by South Jersey political power broker George Norcross in order boost the credit rating of Rowan. The Republican governor is pushing a plan that would merge Rowan University and Rutgers University’s Camden campus into one school to make it N.J.’s second most comprehensive public research university. The merger is part of a broader reorganization of the state university’s system in order to boost medical education opportunities. Lautenberg said the plan was “crafted to benefit political interests without regard for the impact on students.”
Legal semantics in Obama’s mandate WASHINGTON (AP) — The individual insurance requirement that the Supreme Court is reviewing isn’t the first federal mandate involving health care. There’s a Medicare payroll tax on workers and employers, for example, and a requirement that hospitals provide free emergency services to indigents. It’s a wrinkle that has caught the attention of the justices. Most of the mandates apply to providers such as hospitals and insurers. But, one mandate affects just about everybody: Workers must pay a tax to finance Medicare, which collects about $200 billion a year. It’s right on your W-2 form, “Medicare tax withheld.” Workers must pay it even if they don’t have health insurance. Lindsey Donner, a small-business owner from San Diego, pays the Medicare tax although she and her husband are uninsured. Donner, 27, says she doesn’t see much difference between the mandate that workers help finance Medicare and the health care law’s requirement that nearly everyone has to have some sort of health insurance. “My understanding of what is going on in the Supreme Court is that it seems to be something of a semantics issue,” she said. “If I am paying for Medicare, why can’t I also be paying into something that would help me right now or in five years if I want to have children?” Under the law, people such as Donner and her husband would have to get insurance or pay a fine. But they may qualify for federal subsidies to help pay premiums for policies that would be more comprehensive. Preventive care would
AP Photo
Justice Anthony Kennedy presides over the health insurance mandate debate. The decision to pass the mandate may depend on him. be covered with no co-payments. Mark Hayes, former chief health counsel for the Republican staff of the Senate Finance Committee, makes a distinction between the payroll tax and the individual health insurance mandate in Obama’s health care law. Congress used more clearly defined constitutional powers when it created Medicare. “The power to tax and the power to spend,” Hayes said. “Here, with the individual mandate, it’s a different question — regulating interstate commerce. This is a novel question from a legal standpoint.” Obama’s law makes health insurance both a right and a responsibility for most. It would provide coverage to more than 90 percent of the population, subsidizing private insurance for millions. But it also requires most to have health insurance. Supreme Court justices are trying to determine the distinction between
Obama’s law and other mandates. Justice Anthony Kennedy mused that Congress could have created a Medicarestyle program for the uninsured, run exclusively by the government without the involvement of private insurers. “Let’s assume that (Congress) could use the tax power to raise revenue and to just have a national health service, single payer,” said Kennedy. “How does that factor into our analysis? In one sense, it can be argued that this is what the government is doing; it ought to be honest about the power that it’s using and use the correct power. “On the other hand, it means that since ... Congress can do it anyway, we give a certain amount of latitude,” Kennedy continued. “I’m not sure which way the argument goes.” Social Security and Medicare are no longer controversial because they are part of the social fabric, said Hayes.
page 8 The Signal April 4, 2012
FALL 2012 REGISTRATION APPOINTMENT PERIOD Initial i Registration s Period e for Under U gradduate and Graduatte Studentts
Tuesday, Appril 3 through Friday, April 13 �
Your�enrollment�appointment�reflecting�the�first�time�you�will�be�eligible�to�register�for�Fall�2012�semester� can�be�accessed�via�your�PAWS�account.�To�view�your�scheeduled�enrollment�appointment,�visit�the� Enrollment�Appointment�section�in�the�PAWS�Student�Cen ter.�Once�eligible,�students�remain�eligible� throughout�the�registration�period.�Undergraduate�Studen ts�who�do�not�register�by�11:59pm�on�Sunday,� April�15th�will�be�subject�to�a�late�registration�fine.�Graduate�students�have�until�11:59pm�on�July�15th:��� Undergraduate:�$150��Graduate:�$125
�
The�Fall�2012�Schedule�of�Classes�is�available�on�PAWS�and �can�be�viewed�by�using�the������������������ ������������������������� Search�for�Classes�button.�
�
Visit�the�PAWS�HELP�website�for�complete�information�onn�how�to�log�in�to�PAWS,�search�for�classes,� browse�the�Course� e Catalog,�view�your�Holds,�add�courses�to�your�Shoppping�Cart,�and�register�for� classes:�����http://pawshelp.pages.tcnj.edu/�
�
�
Use�the�Validate�feature�directl a y y�from�your�P AWS�Shopping�Cart�to�check�for�potential�pre�requisite�issues� before�registration!�For�more�information�on�the�Validate��feature,�visit:� http://pawshelp.pages.tcnj.edu/files/2011/07/validate.pdf�
�
�
Check�PAWS�for�Holds�that�will� o p prevent�you� f from�register iing.�All�Hold�Flag�information�can�be�viewed� under�the�Holds�section�in�the�PAWS�Student�Center.��
�
�
Access�your�Academic�Requirements�Report on�PAWS�to�view�your�degree�requirements�via�the�� Advising�Tools�link.�
�
�
Make�an�appointment�to�see�your�advisor�to�discuss�your�Academic�Requirements�Report.��Your�advisor’s� name�and�email�address�can�be�located�in�your�PAWS�Student�Center.
�
� �
�
Double�check�call�numbers�and�course�sections�prior�to�your�registration�appointment�for�schedule� changes�and�periodic�updates.� �
Graduate�Students:��If�you�are�a�non�matriculant�who�is�applying�for�Fall�matriculation,�you�should�not� register�during�this�timeframe.�If�accepted�for�matriculation,�you�will�be�invited�to��register�during�one�of� the�Graduate�Studies�summer�orientation�sessions.�
THE�OFFICE�OF�RECORDS�AND�REGISTRAATION� EXTENDED�HOURS�DURING�THIS�REGISTRATION�PERIOD� Tuesday, April 3 through Friday, April 13 7:30 A.M. – 5:00 P.M. �
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 9
Editorial Pranksters’ Paradise Though it’s a little bit late, Signal editors share their personal favorite pranks for April Fool’s Day. Who cares if it’s after the holiday? No one will expect any of these things coming their way. Years ago, a good friend of mine wrapped her arm up in bandages and put it in a sling. She went through the entire school day getting pity and not doing any written AP Photo work (because it was her writing arm in the sling). She A few of The Signal’s editors share April Fool’s Day pranks that can be performed even got out of gym class. Needless to say, everyone on friends and relatives right in your very own bathroom. was shocked when she tore it off at the end of the day and shouted “April Fools!” Of course, the best part was that April Fool’s was a month away.
The Weekly Poll:
– Brianna Gunter, Editor-in-Chief I would go ahead and place Saran wrap delicately about the toilet bowl very early in the morning, when your roommate goes to relieve themself they will be mindblown by the forcefield deflecting their urine back at them. – Brendan McGrath, Features Editor For April Fool’s Day this year, I kept my prank simple yet effective. After visiting several jewelry stores and quickly learning that trying on engagement rings and taking pictures of them is not allowed, I settled with a cheap cubic zirconia ring. On the morning of April Fool’s Day, I placed the fake ring on my ring finger, took a picture with my phone, uploaded it to Facebook with the caption, “!!!” and let the comments fly. 21 comments, 25 likes and countless calls and texts later, I would say that my prank was a success.
Were you affected by Sunday morning’s Internet outage on campus? • Yes, I couldn’t check my email or do homework. • No, I just used my smartphone instead. • No, I was sleeping in and didn’t even notice. • What is the Internet?
cast your vote @ tcnjsignal.net !
Previous poll’s results In honor of CUB’s North vs. South Jersey T-Shirts, what do you call a certain processed pork item? • Pork roll. 49% • What’s that? 30% • Taylor Ham. 21%
– Kelly Johnson, News Editor Every year I would stick a bandage horizontally across the faucet in the bathroom, so that when it turned on, the water would shoot out of the sides and splash whoever used it. Almost everytime my dad would forget the prank from the year before, and water would land right on the front of his pants. – Jamie Primeau, Managing Editor I think a great prank would be starting one of those celebrity death rumors on Twitter. I mean, the world could do without Miley Cyrus, right? Or maybe make it more believable and kill off Lindsay Lohan. – Alex Wolfe, Sports Editor
Editorial Content Unsigned editorial opinions are those of the Editorial Board, which consists of the Editor-in-Chief, the Managing, News, Features, Arts & Entertainment, Opinions, Photo and Sports editors and the Business Manager, unless otherwise noted. Opinions expressed in signed editorials and letters to the editor are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Signal.
tcnjsignal.net Telephone:
Production Rm - (609) 771-2424 Business Office - (609) 771-2499 Fax: (609) 771-3433 Email: signal@tcnj.edu Ad Email: signalad@tcnj.edu
Editorial Staff Brianna Gunter Editor-in-Chief gunter2@tcnj.edu Jamie Primeau Managing Editor primeau2@tcnj.edu Tom Ciccone News Editor tomcasey@live.com Kelly Johnson News Editor johns244@tcnj.edu Alex Wolfe Sports Editor wolfea1@tcnj.edu Brendan McGrath Features Editor mcgrat28@tcnj.edu Julia Corbett Arts & Entertainment Editor corbetj3@tcnj.edu Frank Orlich Opinions Editor orlichf1@tcnj.edu Ashley Long Photo Editor longa1@tcnj.edu
Mailing Address:
The Signal c/o Brower Student Center The College of New Jersey P.O. Box 7718 Ewing, NJ 08628-0718
Sydnee Weinbaum Production Manager Andrew Miller Nation & World Editor Melissa Easaw Copy Editor Chris Molicki Sports Assistant Chris Rightmire News Assistant Amy Reynolds Features Assistant Thalia Ortiz Arts & Entertainment Assistant Matthew Mance Vicki Wang Photo Assistants Emilie Lounsberry Advisor Business Staff Dan Lisi Business/Ad Manager Natalie Schiavi Business Assitant
Quotes of the Week
“You just can’t make this kind of stuff up.” — junior psychology major Melanie Giosia at the Mixed Signals’ comedy improvisation festival
“It’s easier to understand what a person is feeling and how to help them from a firsthand account rather than the definition from a textbook.” — freshman history and special education double major Diane Iannacone
“It was an indescribable feeling. We have been working so hard toward this game and the feeling of all the work paying off was amazing.” — lacrosse junior attacker Alex Spark
page 10 The Signal April 4, 2012
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 11
Opinions The Signal says ... Stop: staying up so late, cursing so much, snoozing the alarm clock, putting off the laundry, getting into fights with your friends, biting your nails. Caution: class scheduling, baseball opening day, Greek Week. Go: nail that interview, get ahead in your school work, get that thing off your chest, enjoy the last month of the school year.
Policies
The Signal is published weekly during the academic year and is financed by the Student Activities Fee (SAF) and advertising revenue. Any student may submit articles to The Signal. Publication of submitted articles is at the discretion of the editors. The letters section is an open forum for opinions. Submissions that announce events or advertise in any way will not be printed. All letters should be sent via e-mail to signal@tcnj.edu. Handwritten letters should be sent to The Signal, c/o The Brower Student Center, The College of New Jersey, PO Box 7718 Ewing, N.J. 08628 or placed in our mailbox in the Student Life Office. Letters must be received by the Friday before publication and should not exceed 300 words. The Signal reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. All letters must be signed, with a phone number and address of the author. Requests to withhold the author’s name will be honored only if there is a legitimate reason. All materials submitted become the sole property of The Signal. The editors reserve the right to edit or withhold all articles, letters & photographs. The Signal willingly corrects factual mistakes. If you think we have made an error, please contact The Signal at (609) 771-2424, write to the address listed above or e-mail us at signal@tcnj.edu.
Speak for yourselves, TCNJ By John A. MacDonald
I was shocked to read The Signal‘s Editorin-Chief Brianna Gunter’s Feb. 1 editorial exposing the unwillingness of many, perhaps most, TCNJ faculty and employees to exercise their free speech rights and speak to Signal, reporters, instead referring the reporters to College Relations. I say shocked because my own experience as the news editor of the Bucks County Community College, only a relatively few miles and months away, was so completely different. Never was I, in the course of dozens of interviews of faculty, staff or students referred to a college relations or other administrative office. Gunter suggests that the College’s administration permits few employees (including faculty) to speak freely and “does not seem to trust its own employees.” I would need more facts before judging that to be the case, but the fact that Gunter found that there is a widespread unwillingness for members of the College community to speak freely clearly strikes at the very heart of that for which the College professes to stand: “The College of New Jersey affirms the following Core Beliefs as fundamental to its Mission: … the College provides a seamless, engaging educational environment characterized by academic freedom, creative expressions, critical thinking, intellectual inquiry, and service learning.” One would be hard put to describe a campus atmosphere where faculty and staff are afraid to talk to the student press and where “All Roads Lead to College Relations,’” as Gunter puts it, as being characterized by academic freedom, creative expressions, critical thinking or intellectual inquiry. Appropriately and as freely admitted on its webpage, the priority of the Department of College Relations is “the potential impact on the College’s institutional image.” Its job is marketing and image control. It is completely unsuited to meeting the needs of inquiring student minds, most particularly on the
controversial issues of the day. We seek to be a world-class academic institution. World-class journalism students aren’t created by denying them the opportunity to conduct first-party interview and restricting their reporting to public relations department press releases. If it truly was the intent of the administration to have all information about campus life as perceived by faculty and staff managed through College Relations, then it would be more honest to give up the pretense of having a free student press and replace it with the latest press releases extolling the College’s virtues, of which there are many. I, for one, am not convinced that the administration is engaged in a cynical attempt to suppress the student press and, along with it, the free flow of information on the campus. Yet Gunter’s experiences suggest that for some reason a significant number of faculty and other employees are unwilling or afraid to speak freely to the student body. President R. Barbara Gitenstein has a proven record of fostering the involvement of the entire college community in the governance and planned direction of the College. I know from own personal experience her willingness and ability to quickly tackle and solve problems. On October 31, 2007 Gitenstein issued a major address, “An Exceptional Path: Five Strategies to Support The College of New Jersey in its Integrated Transformation,” in which she discussed the ongoing transformation of the College and stressed the College’s mission of “courageously addressing the tough issues of the day.” These issues included, as she so eloquently phrased it, “the rights and responsibilities of free speech and academic freedom, the valuing of democratic principles which require our hearing what we do not like.” Sadly, Gunter’s experience is that in many instances there is a lack of courageousness to address issues raised by students, a failure to exercise the responsibilities of free speech and avoidance of articulating anything that the administration might not like. What she has encountered, and what her student body
By Harley Monk Last Monday, March 26, 2012, I encountered yet another problem with TCNJ Parking Services. After a miserable, snot-filled weekend with a fever, sore throat and congestive nose failure, I attempted to start my old truck this morning. My old Ranger wouldn’t start so I had to instead whip my mother’s spongebob-mobile to campus. I’ve had plenty of run-ins with TCNJ parking before, so I knew I couldn’t just transfer the pass on my current vehicle to my mother’s. Instead, I would have to be troubled with going to parking services to obtain a proper permit. Hoping for the best, I walked in and inquired about receiving a one-week visitor’s pass for Lot 9 to use on my mother’s vehicle, you know, the lot I pay $315 a year to park in (Outrageous compared to other schools that don’t charge). The miserable face before me was one I had recognized all too well. It was the same face that had denied me from obtaining a visitor’s parking pass for Norsworthy’s “Visitor Parking Permit Required” allotted spaces, so my girlfriend that was visiting me for lunch wouldn’t have to walk from Lot 6. When I questioned whom the spaces were for, I received the following: “It’s for important visitors, like professors,” yet, there are faculty spaces directly next to these Norsworthy ones. When I emailed parking services about this I received a response stating that giving out passes for those spots was at the parking official’s discretion. Perhaps if my girlfriend were Miley Cyrus, the attendant would have given me one. (Discrimination?). Anyway, back to the recent encounter, I asked the official for a week long parking pass and explained to him my situation. He said a 48-hour pass was all he could give. He jotted down my license and wrote “6” under the lot space. I asked him if I could park in Lot 9, seeing how I pay $315 to park in Lot 9 and clearly my mother’s vehicle was going to replace the spot my truck would have taken up. He miserably reponded that I would have to park in Lot 6 because,“ It’s a visitors’ car.” I then proceeded to walk, still ill and coughing, from Lot 6 to Norsworthy because of another senseless rule TCNJ’s parking services has in place. Don’t we have enough parking problems in Lot 6 already? How about instead I use the space I pay for. Also, how hard is it to find a worker here that appreciates their job?
Tom O’Dell / Staff Photographer
President Gitenstein needs to stand behind her promise of transparency.
readership has suffered, is no less than the very problem that President Gitenstein was addressing 2007, “higher education’s perceived lack of flexibility and transparency.” As a student journalist, I would have relished the role of discovering the source of the problem that Gunter has exposed; but, as a mental health-counselor-in-training, I am more interested in finding a solution. I humbly suggest that the administration must once again affirm its Core Belief of providing “a seamless, engaging educational environment characterized by academic freedom, creative expressions, critical thinking, intellectual inquiry, and service learning” by making it clear that faculty and staff can speak candidly to the student press without fear of retribution and that requests from the student press are no longer to be referred to College Relations.
John A. MacDonald is a graduate student in the Department of Counselor Education and graduate student member of the Committee on Faculty Affairs, as well as a former N.J. Deputy Attorney General and an Assistant Director of the NJDEP. Any statements or opinions expressed herein are solely his own.
By Sara Stammer Unless you have already liked the Facebook page “Body Image on the College Campus” than you may not realize “known as the most potent carcinogen ever studied, dioxin in an amount the size of a fist is toxic enough to kill every person on Earth” and can be found in some deodorants and antibacterial soaps, commercially bleached cotton balls and tissues, and more according to Kim Erickson’s book “Drop Dead Gorgeous.” In addition to not being aware of the previous fact, not many people are aware that in April, the 19th to be exact, The Feminist Forum will be presenting in the STUD from 11-2. This event is a chance for some of the women and gender studies classes to make their peers aware of issues they feel strongly about. At the forum, my group will be presenting on the impact of body image on the college campus. It is our job to get you, our peers, involved. So when you are walking through the STUD for meal equiv or to stop at the book store, be sure to stop by our table to see some of the healthy alternatives to your daily routine. And to take action now and learn information prior to the event, like our Facebook page: facebook. com/BodyImageOnTheCollegeCampus?notif_t=page_new_likes There will be facts, videos and polls, the more you participate the more you can learn. Help us out and like the page today, and if you can or like what you see, have your friends like it too. The more people that know about Body Image on the College Campus the better! Answer a pole or two, take the survey that will be launched within the next few weeks, show your concern. Help us in “Taking the Image Away from Body Image.” And keep an eye out for the next article to come within the next few weeks.
Email your opinions to Orlichf1@tcnj.edu
page 12 The Signal April 4, 2012
!
!
6& )!7
77 )!-0
+)!
!
23)
!+,
4)!5
!"#$%&$'()*"#+$,-./0$1$ 2/34$56".6$789)6:;")*090/<=6$>/</0$"6$56?*$,6./?@$"6$A-@$
!"#$I&$B=?.C*"#+$,-./0$N$ J(89$H(.4C=(-$"6$J/O.".#$,?*/6(./?@$"6$A-@$ !"#$N&$P./*"#+$,-./0$A$ E"#$Q6$P(.R".*$'(8/9$O9=/)*$,S7$"6$T-@$ $ !"#$A&$5"6?.*"#+$,-./0$G$ J(89%IA$;(KK99=(?C9$"6$56?*$P((*$;(?.6$"6$A-@$
+, )!-. / '(()! * $%!& "#
!"#$D&$H9*)9C*"#+$,-./0$I$ J(891F(34$;()39.6$K9"6?./)<$56989$'("409.$"6$'"#($ GLDM-@$
! 01
!"#$1&$B?9C*"#+$,-./0$D$ E(96.#$50"@$"6$6=9$F"6$"6$G-@$
89:'#(! ;<%3':1
!-'=1>$ 9
<2)!8?
!2$1%1
@3!
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 13
Features
Autism / Another piece of the puzzle continued from page 1
In addition, Nolte is also the parent of a child with autism, and her daily struggles are innumerable. “Daily life with a child who has autism is often challenging and exhausting,” Nolte said. “We have to be with him at all times. He is unaware of many
cleveland.com
Finch’s book explores the challenges of Asperger’s.
common dangers and needs constant supervision.” Difficulties also include securing the right and appropriate education for her son. She and her family have spent significant resources in order to convince others of her son’s rights. Nolte stated that, as a parent, the main goal of Autism Awareness Week is to increase awareness, educate the community and foster advocacy. “On a positive note,” she said, “We have grown so much as a family thanks to our son. He has taught us more about what is meaningful in life and we are in awe of his hard work and progress every day.” On Thursday evening New York Times best-selling author David Finch discussed his memoir “Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be a Better Husband.” In the early years of their marriage, Finch and his wife struggled with Finch’s growing list of quirks and compulsions, without understanding why. However, five years into their
AP Photo; Amy Sachs / Staff Photographer
As part of Autism Awareness Week at the College, New York Times best-selling author David Finch, pictured with his wife on the left, shared his struggles with Asperger Syndrome. Jerry Petroff, right, facilitated a ‘What is Autism?’ panel. marriage, Finch was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. At the discussion, Finch told the story of how he had seemed different all his life and how his diagnosis changed him for the better. “When you’re not wired for social interactions and you’re living in a social world, you may have your concerns. But it
is possible,” Finch said. In addition, the audience was inspired by his story and found the lecture intriguing. “As a future teacher, it was really insightful to hear Asperger Syndrome explained by someone who actually has it,” said Diane Iannacone, freshman history and special education double major. “It’s
The good, the bad and the truth about carbs By Katie Occhipinti Columnist Carbohydrates, one of the three macronutrients in food, have become the enemy of many fad diets, making it difficult for us to determine whether or not we should be consuming them. A better question to ask is what kind of carbohydrates we should be consuming. The fact is that not all carbohydrates can be grouped into one category and while some should be avoided, the right carbohydrates can be and should be a healthy part to our diet. Many of us associate “no-carb diets” with weight loss, however this dietary approach is shortlived and sacrifices our health for a lower number on the scale. The right kind of carbohydrates play the following crucial roles in our body: *Serve as fuel for the central nervous system and the brain. *Serve as a “primer” for the body’s breakdown and burning of fat. *Prevent the breakdown of muscle tissue. *Serve as the main fuel source for intense, strenuous exercise. Many of us overly consume carbohydrates, which is easy to do in the form of pizza, Girl Scout cookies and bagels. A lower carbohydrate diet, which is low in bad carbohydrate and sprinkled with good carbohydrates, is an efficient and healthy way to lose weight. Whole Grains According to the government issued “Dietary Guidelines for Americans,” at least half of the carbohydrates in our diet should be from whole grains. But what exactly is a whole grain? Whole grain means that the entire grain (bran, germ
and endosperm) is intact. The outer shell, comprised of the bran and the germ are typically darker in color, which explains where brown rice and real whole grain bread get their coloring. The bran and the germ are the key, healthy components, which contain fiber and nutrients such as potassium, selenium and magnesium. The complex structure of a whole grain make it digested and processed slowly in the body. This creates a small, steady increase in blood sugar. According to the American Institute of Cancer research, specific substances in whole grains may lead to a lower cancer risk. This type of carbohydrate is much needed fuel in order to have the energy for a hard workout. Complex Carbohydrates — Good Carbs A good way to classify carbohydrates is by how they behave in the body. Good carbs, also known as “complex carbohydrates” are processed slowly in the body. Other than whole grains, vegetables and beans are considered complex. These have a high nutrient value. Simple Carbohydrates — Bad Carbs If you want to limit your carbohydrate intake “simple carbohydrates” are the area to limit. These are processed very quickly in the body, spiking blood sugar. They bring very little nutrient value to the table. Although fruit can be
considered a simple carbohydrate because it causes a quick release of insulin into the blood stream, it is still a high fiber, high vitamin nutrient-rich choice (opt for a piece of fruit as oppose to fruit choice). Assess Your Plate for Weight loss At the end of the day — good carbs or bad carbs — overeating this food group can make weight loss difficult. Although the exact amount of calories that should be consumed through carbohydrates depends on age, sex and physical activity level, the common school of thought is about 50 percent of your daily calories should come from carbs. Rather than making whole grain pasta or brown rice the star of your meal, measure out one serving size and add a protein (chicken, fish, etc…) and a vegetable to fill the rest of your plate. Tip of the week: Swap your simple carbohydrates for complex carbohydrates. * Try a new whole grain (quinoa, millet, buckwheat, amaranth, barley). * Order brown rice instead of white rice. * Look for pasta made with brown rice or quinoa. * Look for products that have “whole grain” as the first ingredient listed. *Crowd out simple ones (any “refined or enriched” flour products) with high fiber carbohydrates (beans, vegetables, fruits, whole grains). References *cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/basics/ carbs.html *mayoclinic.com/health/whole-grains/ NU00204
easier to understand what a person is feeling and how to help them from a first-hand account rather than the definition from a textbook.” In all, Finch left his audience with a sense of hope, saying a person can live a normal life with Asperger’s — “It just takes love, understanding, guidance and adaptability.”
Students aid young friend with leukemia Wilmaris, a Ewing fifth-grader, was recently diagnosed with leukemia and has been spending a lot of time in treatment at the Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia, according to a recent press release. Courage for Kids, a nonprofit that seeks to support and improve the health of at risk urban youth, is partnering with a group at the College to raise money through events on campus. A three-on-three basketball tournament will be held on Wednesday, April 11, in which players pay a five dollar buyin, followed by a Rita’s fundraiser, with proceeds going to Wilmaris. Also, there will be bracelets with the phrase “Nobody Fights Alone” written on them on sale, to benefit her cause. “This is our attempt to show Wilmaris that nobody fights alone,” stated the press release.
page 14 The Signal April 4, 2012
Graduate Studies & Summer Term
Fo r m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n v i s i t :
rowa n .e d u /cg ce R owa n U n i ve r s it y â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s
C o l l e g e o f G ra d u a t e & C o n t i n u i n g E d u c a t i o n of f e r s a c a d e m i c p ro g r a m s a n d co u r s e s u s i n g d e l i ve r y o pti o n s , l o c a ti o n s , a n d ti m e f r a m e s th a t m a ke it co nve n i e nt to a c h i eve yo u r e d u c ati o n a l g o a l s a n d c a re e r s u cce s s .
G ra d u a t e S t u d i e s P ro g r a m s a re ava i l a b l e i n th e f o l l ow i n g Â&#x2019; B u s i n e s s Ad m i n i s tr a ti o n Â&#x2019; C o u n s e l i n g / B e h av i o r a l A n a l ys i s Â&#x2019; C r i m i n a l J u s ti ce Â&#x2019; Engineering Â&#x2019; Music
a re a s of s t u d y : Â&#x2019; C o m m u n i c a ti o n Â&#x2019; C o m p u te r S c i e n ce Â&#x2019; Ed u c a ti o n Â&#x2019; M a th e m a ti c s
S u m m e r Te r m I n te re s te d i n a c l a s s o r t wo? R e g i s te r fo r c l a s s e s d u r i n g o n e of o u r 3 to 8 -we e k s u m m e r s e s s i o n s .
! *58!95%&5)!4#%+&"+(*!:5;;38&#+<! ! ! ! ! 5*43$*"5%!>3'=!5*43$*"5%!3*5!(*3"#5%=! !
5*43$*"5%=! !
! "#$%&'()!*+,#"&!-!./01! 23&435!65&"!717!
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 15
Arts & Entertainment
Want more?
Check out tcnjsignal.net for our coverage of the Frank O’Hara close reading!
Collaborative improv show rocks the house By Michelle Frett Correspondent
Who’s Charlie? This question was a source of much amusement on the night of Saturday, March 31 in Kendall Hall at the fourth annual Mixed Signals’ comedy improvisation festival — ROCK, a.k.a. Rather Outrageous Comedy Kickout. The festival consisted of four different troupes — A4Effort from Rutgers University, The Mixed Signals, TCNJ Alumni of Mixed Signals and the professionals, Upright Citizens Brigade Touring Company. In a favorite act of the evening, senior psychology major John Eldis played the role of Charlie, a man who was injured from a car accident resulting with his arms permanently frozen above his head. Underscored by the hearty laughter of those in the audience, Charlie repeatedly twisted his body into outlandish positions attempting to pet the dog “Scruffy” played by a fellow improv performer. The “Charlie game” epitomized a show of surprising events and uninhibited commitment by college and professional actors completely based on audience suggestions. As the website for the festival says, “No scripts. No skits.” “You just can’t make this kind of stuff up,” said Melanie Gioisia, junior psychology
major. The Rutgers troupe, A4Effort, started off the festival lead with the animated Alex Puhalla. The first game was promising with the prompt by the audience for a “Transformers” themed scene. Rather than going down the expected path with alien robots, the troupe played off the idea of ordinary people “transforming” into someone else. Later in the troupe’s line of games, Bryton McGrath of Rutgers University was particularly funny in his portrayal of a mystical creature from Narnia trying to attract the attention of a centaur. Following A4Effort, the College veterans of the Mixed Signals took the stage incorporating a series of bank themed games, such as one titled “Wachovia” referencing the recent name change of the chain to “Wells Fargo.” A hit with the audience was their portrayal of two grandmothers discovering the Internet for the first time. “The trick is to start with http: slashy-line slashy-line,” one of the grandmothers explained. The current Mixed Signals took the stage after the alumni. Sophomore nursing major Nina Shulgach made a strong impression on the crowd with her rendition of a Star Wars jedi knight who wants to switch allegiance to Star Trek. Seniro women’s and gender studies
Photo by Colleen Duncan
The Mixed Signals and other local comedy troupes drew plenty of laughs at the fourth annual ROCK improvisation festival.
major Liz So, a member of the troupe as well as the festival’s emcee, also was charming as a jedi knight who could not stop dancing. After a brief intermission, which was shortened from 15 to 10 minutes after Eldis’ comment that 15 seemed “excessive,” the headlining UCB Tour Company took over the stage. UCB Touring Company is based in New York City and Los Angeles. According to its online profile, “This is the home of the best touring company in America. Mainstream comedy is for jerks.” The company runs a number of improv shows, including “Improv Idol” which searches for the best amateur improv actor at schools across the country. Hannah Adamy, junior music major, was called onstage from the audience by
the three men of the UCB Touring Co, for a personal interview reminiscent of the acts of ABC Family’s Whose Line is it Anyway? Flying off her encounter with bats in Centennial Hall, the actors cleverly formed a scenario in which there was a rampant “Batman” infestation that had to be resolved. The UCB Touring Company put on an inspiring performance for the younger troupes to enjoy and learn from. Regardless, the image that remained in many of the audience’s minds was of Charlie trying desperately to pet the sad dog “Scruffy.” As Sarah Joila, sophomore English major, said, “The scenes turn out so clever sometimes you wonder how it’s possible it isn’t scripted.”
Cover songs and instruments switch it up at the Rat Goot brings good tunes
Blended sounds
By Kevin Schlittenhardt Staff Writer
By Thalia Ortiz Arts & Entertainment Assistant
YouTube enthusiasts filled the Rathskeller on Tuesday, March 27 as they listened to the sweet melodies of Alex Goot and his covers of famous songs. Currently on the 2012 DigiTour, Goot and guitar player/ wingman, Chad Sugg, decided to make a stop at the College after canceling his previously scheduled appearance earlier in February. “I reached out to them over the summer and got in contact with their new agent in February,” said senior psychology major and College Union Board Rat coordinator Alison Sotolongo. “They had to cancel when they were picked up for the Digitour. They were both really apologetic about the whole situation.” Sugg opened for Goot with some love songs that he wrote as well as a cover of a song by Postal Service. “I haven’t been here in like two years,” Sugg said during his opening set. “But when I come back, no offense, I hate the roads a little bit more.” Despite feeling under the weather, Goot later joined Sugg on stage. “I’m very sick but I’ve never canceled a show so hopefully my voice doesn’t crack and I won’t sound like Bieber,” Goot said. The duo played all of their hits, including “We Could Love,” “Pretty Eyes,”
Mikey Wax rocked the house at the Rathskeller on Friday, March 30 with an interesting blend of blues and rock. Wax and his band were able to entertain the crowd with a number of upbeat, funky tunes. Many of the songs performed dealt with the common theme of relationships. One of their songs, “Memory,” was about an average guy trying to woo and win over a beautiful curly-haired girl. The fusion between electric guitar and saxophone melded together to create a cool, smooth vibe. However, the tune that really showcased the band’s talent as musicians was called “Real Love,” a song which Wax explained, all about love but doesn’t actually have any words. For this entirely instrumental melody, the main instrument used was a clarinet, which accompanied the guitar and drums with a classic jazzy sound. The band was even able to switch it up by playing a romantic ballad called “Dear Hannah,” adding variety and the sweet sounds of a flute to their set. This added to Wax’s efforts to create a diverse array of sounds. Overall Wax brought a special performance to the Rat by fusing together a number of wind and electric rock instruments, making for an impressive show.
Vicki Wang / Photo Assistant
Goot and Wax brought a unique musical twist to the Rathskeller during their sets.
the unreleased “Lightning” as well as some covers — Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles,” Bruno Mars’ “Grenade” and a medley of Katy Perry, Taio Cruz and Gotye in between their original song, “Sensitivity.” “I feel like a lot of people on YouTube are autotuned,” said Anthony Judilla, senior chemistry major. “But then you hear him sing and you’re like ‘Wow, he sounds just like he does online.’” After their set, the duo obliged a line of fans with photos and autographs. Goot posed for pictures, exchanged in playful jokes and explained the origins of his tattoos — he had just gotten the Triforce tattooed on his arm for his birthday two weeks ago. “I’m a huge Zelda fan,” he said. “Only ‘Ocarina of Time’ though, none of the other games.”
Author creates musical and technological innovations By Sydnee Weinbaum Production Manager
As Marvin Minsky took the stage at the Brown Bag Series on Friday, March 30, he was described as the “most human and humane of computer science.” After learning more about Minsky, however, it became evident that there was so much more to him. Minsky received his Bachelor of Arts from Harvard in 1950 and later that on to receive a PhD in mathematics from Princeton University in 1954. It was in 1951 when he built the first neural network simulator. He has also invented mechanical arms, hands,
the Confocal Scanning Microscope and the “Muse” synthesizer. Minsky’s awards include the Association for Computing Machinery Turning Award and the MIT Killian Award, among others. However Minsky’s litany of activities and honors do not truly represent his undergraduate years at Harvard. “I didn’t care about grades,” he admitted to the crowd. But it was when he had the opportunity of taking a music class at Harvard that he found an interest. Minsky said, “The phenomenon of music is pretty remarkable.” His music class began as a lecture but by his third year it was just Minsky and two others taking
the class. Minsky described the class size as “big enough to sit on a piano bench.” It was with this individual attention that he began to find his passion in music. “(Music) helps us think in realms where time fold over itself,” he said. Minsky also expressed fascination with how people think. It was at Harvard where he first encountered formal theories of psychology. He explained that he ran into psychologists that no one had any interest in, and therefore he listened to their theories. In fact in the early 1970s Minsky and Seymour Papert developed at the MIT Artificial Intelligence
Lab, the Society of Mind Theory. This theory explained how “what we call intelligence could be a product of the interaction of nonintelligent parts.” In 1986 Minsky published the book “The Society of Mind” for a general audience. More recently though, Minsky published “The Emotion Machine.” In this book he critiques popular theories of how the human mind works. “He was very knowledgeable, and his connection between music and mind is logical,” said Tyra Bonner, freshman communication studies major. Marvin Minsky was a part of the Music Mind Invention
Photo by Armando Ayala
Minsky was spotlighted for his connection between music and psychology. Workshop Program, which, according to its website, was a two-day program that addressed different ways of thinking about music and connecting music to computation.
page 16 The Signal April 4, 2012
Try something new next semester! Work for The Signal! Editorial board positions include: Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor News Editors (2) Sports Editor Arts & Entertainment Editor Features Editor Opinions Editor Nation & World Editor Production Manager Photo Editor Email signal@tcnj.edu by Wednesday April 11 by 5 p.m. expressing which position you would like. Elections will be on Sunday, April 15 at 2 p.m. in our office in the Student Center.
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 17
Fun Stuff
Easter word find!
Basket Bunny Cadbury Candy
Chocolate Easter Eggs Flowers
Grass Peeps Peter Cottontail
This cat represents basically every girl ever.
Easter Sudoku? Why not.
page 18 The Signal April 4, 2012
Att
n o i t n e
GRADUATE & PROFESSIONAL STUDENT APPRECIATION WEEK APRIL 2–6
TUESDAY, APRIL 3
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4
THURSDAY, APRIL 5
Graduate Student Drop-In Session for Resume Review and Career Tips
Cupcakes and Conversation with Faculty, SOXV UDIÁH SUL]HV
Discussion on Stress, Healthy Eating, and Brain Foods with a Registered Dietician
4–6 P.M.
4–5 P.M.
4–5 P.M.
Roscoe L. West Hall 102
Forcina Hall 227 Education/Counseling
Brower Student Center 210
Paul Loser Hall 201 Nursing/English
For more information or to RSVP, see www.tcnj.edu/graduate
TCNJ Student Giving 2012
Tuition and state funding provide less than a third of TCNJ's revenue. State aid to the College has declined dramatically over the past decade. Currently, less than 30 percent of the College's operating budget is supported by state appropriation. Help maintain the quality of education at TCNJ and show your support for the College with a gift of any size today!
www.tcnj.edu/studentgiving
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 21
Lions fight the elements, start outdoor play strong Track and Field
Courtesy of the Sports Information Desk
D’Aiutulo won NJAC Rookie of the Year. By Brandon Gould Staff Writer Despite some inclement weather, the College’s track and field teams recorded strong performances in their start to the outdoor season. The men were led by junior Steven D’Aiutolo, who picked up right where he left off from his monster indoor season. D’Aiutolo won the triple jump with a jump of 46’ 8.25”, a program record. He was also fifth in the 400-meter event with a time of 50.48 seconds. “The main thing that I focused on is my goal of competing at nationals,” D’Aiutolo said. “I narrowly missed qualifying for indoor nationals and knowing that I can always improve, I tried to keep that momentum going into outdoor season.” Sophomore Dominic Tasco, who had just been named 2011
NJAC Rookie of the Year, placed fourth in the 800-meter race with a time of 1:55.87. Freshman Erik Moutenot was not far behind him, finishing in seventh at 1:57.10. The 10,000 meters was the best team effort for the Lions. Three runners finished in the top 12. Junior Mark Sidebottom was sixth with a 32:35.39 mark, junior Alex Matteson was ninth with a time of 32:56.26 and sophomore Dylan Lynch was 12th at 34:26.54. The pole vault was yet another even where the Lions proved themselves against the competition, getting two finishes in the top five. Senior Colin Gold cleared a height of 14’ 9”, while junior Julio Alorro hopped over a mark of 14’ 3.25”. Other notable performances included senior Shaun McGeever having an impressive finish in the 5,000 meters with an ECAC qualifying time of 15:14.58. Junior Kyle Magliaro was eight in the 200-meters at 23.04. Finally, the College’s 4X400 relay team consisted of senior Christopher Medina, D’Aituolo, Tasco, and Moutenot and grabbed second place in the event at a time of 3:23.52. “Our performances shows that we are a well rounded team in distance, sprints, and the field,” D’Aiutolo said. “Having that depth and getting scoring from so many different areas will help the team successfully defend the NJAC conference championship.” For the women, sophomore Erica Roberts was the shining star. Roberts was third in the triple jump, and first among Division III jumpers, with a distance of 35’ 11.25”. Roberts was also fifth in the 100-meter dash with a time of 13.15. Not far behind her was freshman teammate Michelle Cascio, who came in ninth with 13.26. Freshman Jillian Manzo had a stellar outdoor track debut, already qualifying for ECAC’s and coming in second in the 5,000 meters in a time of 18:37.04. Senior Danielle Aran took
eighth place in the event at 18:56.90. Several other runners finished in the top ten in their respective events. Sophomore Emily Kulyck was sixth in the 400-meter hurdles with a time of 1:06.83. Senior Katie Nestor nabbed fourth in the 800-meters at 2:17.07. Junior Cathy Goncalves was the fourth Division III runner to cross the line in the 1500meter run with a time of 4:47.95. The team of Cascio, Kulcyk, freshman Katie Johnston and junior Brielle Doremus managed to capture a second place finish and an ECAC qualifying time in the 4X400 relay with a time of 4:04.84. In the field, graduate student Brianna Brennan was fifth in the javelin with a throw of 119’ 6”, while her teammate, junior Julianne Grandal, rounded out the top 10, hurling the javelin 111’ 2”. Senior Mary Chismar was a beast in both the shot put and the hammer throw. She was fourth in the shot with a throw of 37’ 4” and sixth in the hammer with a toss of 121’ 9”. Senior Amanda To grabbed seventh in the hammer at 121’ 4”. “This meet was a good opener to the outdoor season for myself and the team as a whole,” D’Aiutolo said. “As training progresses and the weather improves, I’m confident that I can set bigger marks as the season continues.”
Courtesy of the Sports Information Desk
The women took many top-five finishes.
Softball
Softball dominates doubleheader with Messiah
Ashley Long / Photo Editor
The Lions won three straight.
By Mike Pietroforte Staff Writer
The Messiah College softball team came to
the College Wednesday riding a seven-game winning streak. After a double header with the Lions softball team, they left with a two-game losing streak. In game one of the doubleheader, the Lions jumped out to an early lead when senior outfielder Crystal Lee scored after reaching on a walk. The Lions solidified their lead late in the game, scoring four runs in the last two innings. Senior Lauren Fitzsimmons commanded the game on the mound, striking out five while holding Messiah scoreless through seven innings. Fitzsimmons improved her record to 7-2 on the hill. Lee went one-fortwo at the plate with a triple, two walks, and two stolen bases. The Lions exploded offensively in the second game of the series, winning with a decisive 10-2 final score. Junior second basemen Ashley Sogluizzo had a big day, going two-for-three at the plate with a double and a home run, along with a run and three RBI. Sogluizzo attributed her
success at the dish to the hard work she’s been putting in at practice. “I made a couple small adjustments with my coach and they seem to be working out pretty well,” she said. “Now I feel very confident at the plate.” Lee continued her stellar season, going fourfor-four with a triple and three stolen bases and junior rightfielder Michelle Casale chipped in with two hits, two runs batted in, and a stolen base. Sophomore Alex Carisone got the job done on the mound, pitching five innings and allowing only two runs in the win. On Sunday conference play began. The Lions were only able to squeeze in the first game of their doubleheader with Rutgers University-Newark before the skies opened up, but the Lions continued their winning ways with a big 11-0 win, taking their streak to three games. Fitzsimmons hurled another shutout, striking out five batters in five innings. “I have an aggressive approach on the mound,” Fitzsimmons said. “(Senior catcher) Michelle Kent and I call the game together so
we have really been working together in order to figure out hitters’ strengths and weaknesses and attack them with our strengths. She has a key role in the approach that is taken on the mound.” Junior center fielder Liz Huttner led the offensive assault, going three-for-four with two runs scored and three RBI. Sogluizzo and senior designated hitter Nicole Broadbeck also chipped in two hits each. “Every NJAC game we play is going to be tough. They are all very good hitting teams so all of our upcoming games will be challenging,” Fitzsimmons said. “We have played many tough teams in the preseason so I feel that we are extremely prepared for these games, we just have to keep doing what we have been doing offensively and defensively.” The softball team will continue its run of New Jersey Athletic Conference games when it play its next two games in a doubleheader on Tuesday, March 3 at Rutgers University-Camden.
Baseball
Baseball goes 1-2, grabs first NJAC win vs. No. 4 Kean By Alex Wolfe Sports Editor
The baseball team took one of three games last week, but their 1-1 split with No. 4-ranked Kean University helped them get off to a good start against NJAC competition for the season. The first game was a 10-inning 2-1 win for the College, with the winning run being plated by freshman third baseman Jacob DeWitt. Junior pitcher Bobby Graber shut out the Cougars until the ninth inning, when he gave up the lone run of the game. “It’s about believing and having the heart,” junior second baseman Scott Kelly said. “We have talked about our ability and the strength of our team, and we showed it on Saturday.” Hitting was scarce in the game — so there weren’t really any superstars there — but senior first baseman Jimmy Ruzich was a stud in the field, with nine put-outs for the game. He also went 1-4.
The second game didn’t go quite as well for the Lions, as they were held scoreless by the Cougars in a 1-0 loss. Regardless of the loss, senior pitcher Eric Lewis put the hurt on Kean, holding them to eight hits. Kelly believes the team brought its A-game against one of the best pitchers in the NJAC in Kean’s Kevin Herget in the first game. “Our arousal level was not there the second game but we faced one of the best pitchers in the conference and beat him (in the first game),” Kelly said. “We also had the best pitchers in the conference, Bobby Graber and Eric Lewis, and they both pitched phenomenal games. We finally showed the potential we have in this team.” The team has another tough NJAC slate this week, with a home-and-home against Rowan and a doubleheader against Rutgers University-Newark (which currently sits tied for No. 1 in the NJAC). “It’s only the first week and teams haven’t separated themselves, but we know we are one of the top teams in the conference,” Kelly said. “What’s going
to separate us is quality pitching and timely hitting. We have had great pitching outings from a lot of our pitchers such as Graber, Lewis and (senior) Mike Ham, and now the hitters have to showcase their aggressiveness by having productive at-bats. If we do that, we will be successful in the conference.”
Ashley Long / Photo Editor
Graber tossed a strong outing vs. Kean.
page 20 The Signal April 4, 2012
4 6
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 21
LIONS
AROUND THE
DORM 5 3
Chris Molicki “The Ref”
Brandon Gould Staff Writer
Alex Wolfe Sports Editor
Bryan Bellanca Correspondent
In this week’s Around the Dorm, the “Ref,” Chris Molicki, challenges Sports Editor Alex Wolfe, Staff Writer Brandon Gould and Correspondent Bryan Bellanca to answer questions about how the Knicks will fare the rest of the season, who will win the suddenly very strong American League, and who should win the famous (or infamous) spot on the cover of Madden 2013.
AP Photo
1. With March Madness over, the basketball world turns its focus to the NBA. One of the primary focuses of the league this year has been the roller coaster ride of the New York Knicks. The Knicks are currently on a roll after Mike Woodson took over as head coach. Do you think they can keep up this play? And even if they get an eight seed, where do you think they rank in the Eastern Conference as a team? AW: This question has had me puzzled since the beginning of the season. The Knicks were so bad (pre-Lin), so good (Linsanity), so bad again (Melo returned) and now so good again (post-D’Antoni). This team hasn’t really had a middle ground this year where they’ve been consistently good or bad. Unfortunately, because it was just reported that Jeremy Lin tore his meniscus (Liniscus?), I don’t think the Knicks will be able to take the jump to the next level to end the season. With Lin and the way they’ve been playing under Woodson, I would place them at about third best, below the Heat and Bulls. However, without Lin, they’re now lacking depth at two positions (point guard and power forward, where Amar’e Stoudemire is out indefinitely). Baron Davis and Mike Bibby are not nearly the one-two punch that LinDavis was, and Josh Harrellson and Jared Jeffries are not close to a replacement for Stoudemire (at least not offensively). With those two major injuries, I rank the Knicks at about sixth best overall. Better than Philly, Milwaukee and even Atlanta, but not quite good enough to touch the top tier. Ironically, if these Knicks make it far this year, it’ll have to be because of their defense. BG: The New York Knicks are just a mess this season. It looked like they had everything figured out when Jeremy Lin stole the show, but then Carmelo Anthony came back. What ensued was a return to mediocrity, which led to the firing of head coach Mike D’Antoni. Things have been on the upswing since then, but can we really trust anything that happens in New York this year? Amar’e Stoudemire is out with back issues, and Lin is dealing with injuries as well. Anthony is a very good player, but he can’t carry this team alone. The Knicks will make the playoffs, but it’ll be short-lived since they’ll most likely match up with the Chicago Bulls. The pieces are there for the future, but for now they are what we thought they were, the eighth best team in the Eastern Conference. BB: With the recent injuries to Jeremy Lin and Amar’e Stoudemire, and the fact that both will most likely be done until the playoffs if not lon-
ger, I believe it will be hard for the Knicks to continue the 9-2 pace they have been on since Woodson took over as head coach. I still think the Knicks will make the playoffs, and the old saying of defense wins championships means if the Knicks continue to buy into Woodson’s system they certainly can make a run. Since Woodson has taken over, Knicks opponents have only averaged 86 points and are shooting 40 percent from the field compared to the 96 points and 45 percent under D’Antoni. The two big problems with the Knicks are consistency and injuries. The Knicks are the most inconsistent team in the NBA this season, but in the playoffs all it takes is a hot streak to make some noise, so if they can get healthy and stay healthy they’re probably the third best team in the East behind Chicago and Miami. CM: Alex gets 3 points for pointing out how injuries at multiple positions have hurt the depth of the Knicks. Bryan gets 2 points for saying that the key for the Knicks is defense. Brandon gets 1 point for saying that Melo can’t do it all by himself. 2. Last week we had a question about the NL, and this week, it’s the AL. The Yankees, Red Sox, Rays, Angels and Tigers all have championship aspirations. Who’s your favorite and why? AW: I hate to jump on the spend-a-lot, wina-lot bandwagon (God knows it killed my Mets for years), but I think I give the Angels the edge this year. Last year they were right on the verge of making the playoffs at 86-76, but I think their additions from this offseason should put them over the top. They made the splashiest move by snagging Albert Pujols from the Cardinals, and then proceeded to take the division-rival Rangers’ best pitcher in C.J. Wilson. I’m tempted to say the Tigers could take the AL with their new one-two punch of Prince Fielder and Miguel Cabrera, but I think the Angels can top that with the combination of Pujols, Torii Hunter, Vernon Wells and others in the middle of the lineup. Pujols also brings a huge postseason presence to the team, which is just one of those intangible things that the great players have and that teams yearn for. Also, the Angels’ pitching looks to be the strongest it has ever been, with arguably the best top-four pitchers in the majors (yes, even better than the Phillies) with Jered Weaver, Wilson, Dan Haren and Ervin Santana at the head of the rotation. Basically, they have all of the fixings for a deep postseason run. BG: We live in a society where we judge things by the recent past, and that’s exactly how I am going to answer this question. I think the Angels — who didn’t just make a splash, but dove into the deep end of free agency — have the best team in the American League right now. First baseman Albert Pujols may be on the decline, but I’ll take a bad day from Pujols over a great day for most first basemen in the league. The Angels’ offense did not catch anyone’s eye last year, but with Pujols in the middle of the lineup, everyone just got a little bit better. Then there’s the defensive side of things. Free agent signee C.J. Wilson will join a staff that already included Jared Weaver, Dan Haren and Ervin Santana. With those guys in the front end and Jordan Walden closing things out, the Angels will be hard to score on. BB: When it comes to the American League, if you want to win you have to be able to pitch. All of the teams competing to represent the American League can hit,
AP Photo
so to pick a team based purely on hitting wouldn’t work out to well come October when it’s all about pitching. Out of all of the teams in the American League the team with the best pitching staff from starter to closer is the New York Yankees. When looking at the starting pitching staff, they might not have the best starting five in the American League, but when you add the fact that they have the greatest closer in the history of baseball along with a very solid bullpen, the Yankees will be very tough to beat come October. Besides having great pitching, the Yankees also have the best lineup from one to nine, which will help the pitching a little bit in October. The biggest competition to the Yankees in October is themselves, but as long as the hitters don’t go ice cold they’ll have a great chance to win another World Series. CM: Alex gets 3 points by saying how the Angels’ lineup is just a bit better than that of the Tigers. Brandon gets 2 points for saying how the Angels’ pitching staff is going to be dominant. Bryan gets 1 point because I have trouble agreeing that the Yankees are both the best hitting and best pitching team in the American League. 3. The voting continues for who will be placed on the cover of Madden ’13. Of the remaining players in the voting, who would you like to see on the cover and why? AW: This is really tough, because I don’t know whether to say the player I like the least or the player I like the most, because of the infamous Madden cover jinx. Pretty much every player that has been on the cover of Madden has suffered either an injury-plagued season or one of the worst statistical seasons of their career (the exception being Drew Brees on Madden ’11). That being said, I’m going to say I want either Rob Gronkowski or Patrick Willis on the cover. Gronkowski is just a douche, and he plays for the Patriots (who I’m still bitter at for
the ‘01 Super Bowl). So a bad season for him would be great. As for Willis, the 49ers are the biggest threat to my Rams maybe, MAYBE making the playoffs next year, and so to have him stink it up this year would be very helpful. As for who I think most deserves the cover, that has to be either Victor Cruz or Calvin “Megatron” Johnson. Those two really broke out in a big way last year. But I’m going to pull the spite card this year and say Gronk or Willis (hoping more for a bad season than an injury, since injuries are bad to wish on anyone). BG: All I know is that it better not be Darrelle Revis because if he gets hurt I will burn every single copy of Madden that I can find. With that said, I think Calvin Johnson should be on the cover of Madden. I will never wish injury upon any player — although it’d be nice to not have to deal with Rob Gronkowski — so my pick is not based on that aspect. I just think that right now Calvin Johnson is on top of his game and on top of the league in terms of elite talent. The cover should be reserved for one of the game’s most elite and consistent players, and Johnson fits right into that category. BB: When trying to decide who I want to win the Madden cover vote, it comes down to whether I want to choose based on someone I don’t like and hope the Madden curse lives on, or someone I like and hope the Madden curse doesn’t hit that person. I’m going to go with the latter and choose Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers is the best player in the NFL right now, and as much as I would like to pick Gronkowski and hope he gets hurt for the year so the Jets don’t have to worry about him, I think it’s about time to put someone on the cover who should be able to break the curse. Rodgers has no history of injuries and just genuinely seems like a nice guy. You never saw him complain when he was waiting behind Favre to get his chance, and since taking over has emerged as the best QB in football right now. I think Rodgers being put on the cover will finally break the Madden curse. CM: Brandon gets 3 points for pointing out how Calvin Johnson is at the top of the league. Bryan gets 2 points for saying how Rodgers could break the curse. Alex gets 1 point for letting his hatred of Gronk and his division rivals get the best of him.
Alex wins this week’s AtD, 7 - 6 - 5.
“I’m a boss.” — Alex
espn.com
page 22 The Signal April 4, 2012
Get your â&#x20AC;&#x153;groove on!â&#x20AC;?
googleimages
Write for The Signal! signal@tcnj.edu Like us on Facebook!
April 4, 2012 The Signal page 23
LIONS ROUNDUP This Week’s Picks Chris Molicki (17-23)
Yankees vs. Rays Series
Lakers vs. Clippers
Thunder vs. Heat
Red Wings vs. Blues
Lion of the Week Lauren Pigott
Alex Wolfe (16-24)
Women’s Lacrosse
Brandon Gould (15-25) Joe Caputo (17-23)
Lauren Pigott, sophomore midfielder for the College’s women’s lacrosse team, propelled the Lions to two big wins this past week. The College knocked off Eastern and top ranked Gettysburg College. Pigott led the team with six goals and seven points in the two games. The loss for Gettysburg was their first of the season.
Baseball
—Chris Molicki, Sports Assistant
This Week In Sports Baseball Apr. 5 vs. Rowan University, 3:30 p.m. Apr. 6 @ Rowan University, 3:30 p.m.
Countdown to History Senior midfielder Leigh Mitchell is on her way to breaking the College’s alltime points record in women’s lacrosse. Track her journey with The Signal!
Points 344
Record 365
(Ali Jaeger)
Trivia Question
Last Week’s Answer: #12 Missouri Tigers, 2002
Baseball is finally here! While your team probably won’t have opening day until this week, the season already started in Japan, as the Oakland Athletics and the Seattle Mariners played a three-game series in Japan. When was the first time an MLB game was played overseas, and what teams were in it?
Apr. 7 vs. Rutgers-Newark (DH), 11:30 a.m. Apr. 10 @ St. Joseph’s College (NY), 3:30 p.m. Softball Apr. 6 vs. Montclair State University (DH), 3 p.m. Apr. 10 vs. Richard Stockton College (DH), 3 p.m. Men’s Tennis Apr. 7 @ Villanova University, 12 p.m. Apr. 10 @ Drew University, 4:30 p.m. Lacrosse Apr. 6 vs. Franklin and Marshall College, 6 p.m Apr. 10 @ Montclair State University, 7 p.m. Track & Field Apr. 6-7 @ Sam Howell Invitational (hosted by Princeton University), TBD
AP Photo
Signal
Sports
Lacrosse takes down No. 1 Gettysburg
Lions win a thriller against top team in the nation
Lisa Nitzsche / Staff Photographer
Alex Spark led the team in the second half. By Brandon Gould Staff Writer
Senior midfielder Leigh Mitchell snatched up the ground ball, sent it off to sophomore Lauren Pigott and watched as Pigott hot-potatoed the ball to sophomore attacker Jen Garavente, who held onto the ball as the final seconds evaporated in the College’s 17-15 upset over No.1-ranked Gettysburg College. “It was such a high to watch the clock go down to zero at the end of the game, beating the No. 1 team,” Mitchell said. “There was so much excitement all game and it was great to end the game on top.” Mitchell played an integral part in the Lions’ victory, picking up five assists, but it was junior attacker Alex Spark who stole the show. Spark had a season-high six goals against the Bullets, leading the Lions offense, but her contributions didn’t stop there. Spark was a Swiss Army knife for the Lions as she grabbed two draw controls, picked up three ground balls and caused a turnover. After taking a 2-1 lead early on, the Lions were ambushed by a Bullets attack that scored five straight goals. The Bullets grabbed three draw controls in a row after going up 3-2 and all those possessions led to scores. Spark kick started the Lions’ comeback by snatching up the first two draw controls in a slew of five that gave the Lions possession and the advantage as they rallied back.
On the offensive end of that run senior midfielder Kathleen Notos was the Lions anchor, scoring three straight goals as the Lions cut the lead to one. “For us, it was the game changing performance where we realized that we can score as many goals as we want to and they can’t stop us,” Spark said. “We thrived off of going on a three-goal run and once we got ahead we wouldn’t let ourselves lose the lead.” That lead would come soon after Notos’ eruption with junior attacker Trenna Hill tying things up at six with 11:36 left in the first half and Pigott putting the Lions back on top with one of her four goals on the day. Although the Bullets grabbed the ensuing draw control, the Lions netted the next goal when Spark continued the barrage. A turnover by sophomore defender Claire Engelman induced a score by Bullets midfielder Kelsey Markiewicz, but the Lions went into halftime up 8-7 on last year’s National Champions. Pigott scored the Lions first goal of the second half, but it was another Lion who came out of the break on fire. Hill, who took 10 shots in the game, followed Pigott’s initial goal with three of her own, propelling the Lions to a 12-7 advantage. “(Hill and Pigott) both had amazing games,” Spark said. “I think everyone played so well because the whole day was spent pumping each other up for the big game, and we all got into the game with such adrenaline.” The game seemed to be completely in the Lions’ favor, but the Bullets would not back down, getting a trio of scores past sophomore goalkeeper Kelsey Zinck. Spark countered for the Lions though by recording four of the game’s next five goals and getting the Lions back out by five. Just when it looked like the Lions would be able to glide to victory through the last seven minutes, the Bullets showed why they were ranked as the nation’s top team. After stopping an attack by the Lions, the Bullets inched closer when freshman midfielder Bridget Kenny beat Zinck for her fourth goal of the game. However, the bigger blow came before the score when sophomore defender Nicole Pineda was taken off the field with an injury. With Pineda on the sidelines, the Lions received enormous pressure from the Bullets attack, who scored again after a turnover by Pineda’s replacement and then again 24 seconds later to close the Lions lead to a lone goal.
The Bullets looked to be in great shape after they won the next draw control, but Spark was there for the Lions yet again. Pigott knocked the ball free from the Bullets goalkeeper and Spark was there to pick up the loose ball. The Bullets fought back with their unblemished record on the line and forced Pigott into a turnover, taking back control of the ball. That possession didn’t last long though as Mitchell responded with a caused turnover of her own. The ball rolled along the ground until it was scooped up by Pigott, who fired a shot into the back of the net and put the Lions up 17-15. “It was so exciting to see Pigott be able to score off of that caused turnover and definitely gave the team a sense of relief knowing we now had a two-goal cushion,” Mitchell said. The last minute and a half were full of excitement with a Gettysburg shot ricocheting off the post and a tossup play following, but it was ultimately Mitchell who secured the possession for the Lions that ended the contest — a moment Spark won’t forget. “It was an indescribable feeling, we have been working so hard toward this game and the feeling of all the work paying off was amazing,” Spark said. “It makes all the hard work for those 60 minutes completely worth it.” The Lions won’t be able to celebrate for too long though, with No. 8-ranked Franklin and Marshall College slated on the schedule for Friday, April 6.
Lisa Nitzsche / Staff Photographer
The Lions sit at 9-1 after the besting the Bullets.
Both tennis teams boast dominating weeks By Peter Fiorilla Staff Writer
Both tennis teams enjoyed positive transitions into April, as the men’s team sandwiched a loss to No. 22 Skidmore College with a pair of wins last week while the women’s team made a strong bid to move up the national rankings by triumphing at No. 21 University of Mary Washington. The men’s team first earned a dominant 8-1 win over Kutztown University (Division II), fell 6-3 to Skidmore, and closed out the week with a 5-4 victory over Franklin and Marshall College that showcased the renaissance week senior Stewart Fernandez had. Fernandez clinched the win against Franklin and Marshall with a late win in singles, 7-5, 6-1, and has been perfect in the first doubles position with sophomore Howard Telson since being moved there against Kutztown. “Stew pulled through big time in our match
Lions’ Lineup April 4, 2012
I n s i d e
today against (Franklin and Marshall). He did what he knew he could do from the start and he played smart tennis, which is the key for him,” junior T.J. Riley said. On the 7-0 Fernandez-Telson pairing, Riley said that “Stew and Howie are tough. They hit big penetrating shots that cause issues for their opponents and they also serve huge consistently, which is a big advantage in doubles because it sets up the net man to cross and put a ball away. They are a very formidable team that attacks with power and intensity and they ride both of those the whole match until it is over.” Riley added two points in singles and earned a doubles win over the course of the week, junior Marc Nichols picked up four points across singles and doubles with senior Bill Carrig, and freshman Gabe Allen picked up his fifth and sixth wins to continue a fine debut season in the sixth singles position. Meanwhile, the women rode a combination
of strong doubles and singles play to win 6-3 at Mary Washington, staking their claim to a higher ranking in Division III. The Lions, ranked 23rd in Division III and still undefeated against Division II and III teams, took two doubles and four singles matches to improve to 12-1. Seniors Felice Trinh and Emily Petersack combined for another win in the second doubles position with a score of 8-4, while the partnership of juniors Paige Aiello and Lauren Balsamo won 8-3 in the third position to give the Lions an early 2-1 lead. In singles, Trinh (second singles position) won a marathon set 2-6, 6-1, 6-4, junior Allison Tierney (third) won 6-2, 6-4, Aiello (fourth) won 6-4, 6-4 and freshman Deborah Wu (sixth) improved to 11-0 in dual meets to secure the road victory. The women will return to the court when they host SUNY New Paltz and Salisbury University on Saturday, April 14, while the men
travel to Villanova this Saturday and then to Drew University on Tuesday.
Ashley Long / Photo Editor
The men’s team bested D-II Kutztown.
46 53 Around the Dorm page 21
Softball wins three straight page 19
Baseball goes 2-1 page 19
Track begins outdoor play page 19
Farts & Entertainment
May 27, 2010 The Singal page 333
Wiz returns to produce his number two By Jesus Cornelius Farts & Entertainment Editor After an explosive concert last weekend — complete with hospital transports, public urination and overall sloppiness — Wiz Khalifa returned to the University for round two. During an encore appearance, Khalifa went from promoting partying, reckless behavior and marijuana to honoring an infamous student from the weekend before. The rapper performed his latest hit “Brown and Yellow” — inspired by his last concert — and a reworded version of “Get Your S**t” to a packed Reck Center on Friday, March 30. Although this concert — aptly named “Khalifa: Number Two” — entertained 2,500 people, Khalifa was specifically singing to one lucky student who had the opportunity to stay on stage the entire time. Khalifa sang to Francine du Kaka, junior polygamy and sexual education double major, who defecated on the Rec. Center floor just a week earlier. “Shit,” Khalifa said, likely pondering du Kaka’s drunken alleviation methods after the concert was over last week. It also touched on the discreteness of the defecation process. The clean-up crew last weekend discovered the droppings after concertgoers had vacated the premise. Kaka came clean about the incident after The Singal wrote an editorial about “getting your shit together.” After hearing about the event through social media — someone had even tweeted a picture of the poop — the
Ash Ketchum / Photo Breeder
After learning that someone pooped in public at his concert, Wiz Khalifa had to come back for more.
rapper wanted to come back to the University. He was amazed that someone was able to pop a squat — in the most literal sense of the phrase — without anyone noticing while it was happening. Consequently, he rewrote several songs on his album “Rolling Papers.” Immediately after coming on stage, Khalifa — armed with a small roll of toilet paper and a stash of Depends adult diapers — called out to the crowd for du Kaka. “Yeah, uh huh, you know what it is, Everything I poo, I poo it big,” rapped Khalifa during his first song “Brown and Yellow.” It was evident that the incident had resonated
with Khalifa and the college campus. Students dressed up with adult diapers over their pants to honor the event. Many had even purchased T-shirts with the lyrics to “Brown and Yellow.” The color of the shirts was, of course, brown. “Khalifa: Number Two” brought some serious hits, especially for a last-minute concert. The Talent United Board (TUB), who sponsored last week’s concert, received word from his agent that Khalifa wanted an encore on Monday, March 26. This time, with the help of several other organizations, TUB was able to pull together the concert in a week — a feat next to impossible in most instances. Everyone wanted a part in producing “Khalifa: Number Two.” As for du Kaka, the event was bittersweet. “Yeah, I pooped on the Reck Center floor and I was embarrassed,” she said after the concert during an interview. “But look where it got me. I have a whole concert devoted to me.” Clearly, this once shameful act had a positive result for du Kaka. At the end of the concert, numerous students ran to the rear of the Reck Center and made their own marks. Though disgusting to clean up, this was the most popular, interactive concert in the University’s history. “Who would have thought poop would lead to this,” said du Kaka. “I didn’t mean to do this, I promise.” Motive or not, du Kaka was singlehandedly able to bring the funk back to the University with an entirely new theme.
Starving artists do lunch with plastic bags
Harsh realizations of the real world became necessary to Judd. “Students can’t keep living in lala land,” she said. The realistic speaking series has already received positive feedback from the College In response to the popularity of the weekly Brown Bag Series sponsored by those community. artsy people, a newly-formed club on campus, the Starving Artists, “I think this is actually a good idea,” said an anonymous art have created the Plastic Bag Series. professor. “They need to know their options when their dreams This new series is anti-Brown Bag and its motto is “When brown “I was able to use my art don’t work out.” bags break, plastic bags stretch and adapt.” This motto is a reference Featured speakers will include store managers from the Quaker knowledge and apply it to the truth behind graduating with a degree in the arts. Bridge Mall, receptionists and dental assistants. The assortment of to putting mannequins “We don’t have jobs and we aren’t getting them,” said Starving speakers will show current students where their futures lie. together.” Artists founding president and senior basket weaving major Cynthia “I was able to use my art knowledge and apply it to putting Judd. “Why bother inspiring students with empty hope?” mannequins together,” said Paula Marks, store manager at The Plastic Bag Series will occur weekly and will deal with how PackedSun. students should adapt to the world as perpetually poor citizens of The Plastic Bag Series’ first installment will be on Friday, — Paula Marks, April society with talent that will probably go unnoticed. 9 from 11:30-12:20 p.m. — the same time as the Brown Bag store manager Series. “One of our most popular events will be a feature on selling your art on the street,” Judd said. “We will get a sense of who is a realist by scheduling it at this The creation of the event was in response to the Brown Bag Series. time,” Judd said. Judd said, “I kept going to them and kept thinking I would eventually find an internship The kickoff lecture will feature Marks, along with a homeless street performer or someone would notice me. That didn’t happen.” from nearby Trenton. By Pick Asso Farts & Entertainment Junkie
I’ll call you definitely mmm-mag.com
Carly Rae Jepsen’s song trumps this featured YouTube Critic’s hit. By Rebekka Black YouTube Critic Last week, my ears had the great fortune of being graced with the most beautiful and intelligent music every created — “Call Me Maybe” by foreigner Carly Rae Jepsen (I’ve heard she comes from some place called Canada, or “America’s Hat”). After listening to the song on repeat for three days straight and making sure my friends did the same, I decided it was time to put what I’d learned into practice. Our campus doesn’t have a “well” per se, so I headed over to the fountain in the Science center. I wasn’t sure how exactly I was supposed to throw in a wish, much less trade my soul for it, so I just waded around in the water for a bit before moving on.
Unfortunately, there were no guys there in ripped jeans with their skin showing. Attempting to remedy this I ran over to the nearest guy and promptly tried to tear holes in his jeans. He must not have been familiar with Jepsen’s lyrics, because he did not stop running away when I sang out: “Where you think you’re going, baby?” I was a bit discouraged after that, but then I realized that I’d forgotten an important step! Excited, I immediately began fishing around in my pockets for some pennies and dimes. Spotting some sexy physics students on a bench, I sauntered over and offered to pay them for a kiss. To sweeten the deal, I informed them that all other boys try to chase me and looked around frantically as though it were happening right that second. Sadly, the guys were un-phased by my charms and got up to leave. Not one to give up easily, I called out for them to maybe give me a call and repeatedly told them how badly I missed them. Oddly, it didn’t work. At that moment I spotted a police officer heading in my direction. I thought at first that he could help me out, but then I realized it was the same officer who stopped me from setting fire to the rain earlier this semester. Oh well, I guess Campus Police just doesn’t get today’s music.
No more ‘fun’ and fame for teen pop sensation Rebecca Black
By Jesus Cornelius Farts & Entertainment Editor
In a last-ditch attempt to maintain fans, Rebecca Black performed her one-hit wonder track “Friday” at the Cathskeller, appropriately on Friday, March 30. After the performance, Black announced her retirement from the music industry — Jay-Z style — at the old age of 14. Black got on stage to cheers from approximately two audience members and six members of the Talent United Board — who were all obligated to be there. “It’s Friday, so let’s have some fun,” Black said. After performing her once charttopping “Friday,” Black received little applause and then attempted to perform Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” to prove her singing chops. “She made Celine Dion sound like a dying cat,” said Robert Dillon, sophomore music major. After her performance, Black discussed her journey from being a normal teenager to being a fame-obsessed yet still normal teenager. Black then went on to discuss her
AP Photo
After her final performance, Black bid farewell to the music industry.
successor Carly Rae Jepsen, who sings “Call Me Maybe.” “I never thought that she would be popular,” she admitted. “But then I realized that her song was catchier than mine.” Black then told the audience that she decided to go into retirement based off the success of “Call Me Maybe.” Black’s current depleting fame was apparent throughout the entire night. “It was a pretty bad Cat show,” said Dillon. “But at least I got to see Rebecca Black announce her retirement.” Black then left the stage like a faded video on YouTube — enter Jepsen.
Singal
Sprots
Tebow to Tebow all over everyone’s face
By @lucifer666 Tries to get Tebow to participate in intercourse
The roller coaster ride for quarterback Tim Tebow continues, as the former Denver Bronco, and now former New York Jet, was recently traded again — this time to the University for quarterback Jay Donoghue, in a shocking turn of events. Lions head coach Eric Hamilton heard the Jets were upset with the amount of money they would have to pay Tebow, and subsequently had a meeting with New York head coach Rex Ryan to set up a deal. Donoghue, being a senior, was acquired in a sign-and-trade, in which he was given a one-year, $500,000 contract to be the Jets’ backup. Ryan sees Donoghue as “being able to do a lot of things Tebow was expected to do, but at a lower cost.” “We scouted Jay this past season, and seeing him run the spread option got us to thinking,” Ryan said. “We figured he could easily produce as much as Tebow at the NFL level.” Ryan wants to use Donoghue to run the wildcat because he, like Tebow, is a mobile quarterback. He will also come to the Jets at a much lower price. The Jets organization reportedly feels that this is a good move because there are many other holes to fill on the team and not enough money to do so with Tebow on the roster. “I think there are many other places we could spend a couple million dollars better than Tim Tebow,” Ryan said. “And besides, we hadn’t been the top story on SportsCenter or the Daily News for a couple weeks now, so this move should keep our news whore quota up. Just in case it doesn’t, I plan on dressing like a lady for my next press conference. With open-toed shoes. Mmm, toes.” While it’s strange to think that Tebow will be allowed to play in college again, Hamilton found out that Tebow was actually three credits short from graduating, therefore still making him eligible to play at the college level.
Photo courtesy of Jesus motherfucking Christ
The University will serve Tebow’s sweat in Ick. Hamilton was ecstatic when he found this loophole. Not only does the University get an (allegedly) NFLcaliber quarterback, but one who could easily be considered as the greatest Division III quarterback of all time without even playing a game. Above all of this, Tebow is a winner.
“Tebow is a winner,” ESPN First Take analyst Skip Bayless said. “A baller. A gamer. All he does is win.” The University plans to dip into scholarship money for prospective students so that they can pay for Tebow’s contract, as well as raising tuition by $20,000 per year. While that may not please many people, the school has deemed that it absolutely could not pass up on this oncein-a-lifetime chance. “While I regret having to raise tuition, I think the student population will agree that this is a move in the right direction for the University,” President The Git said. “I mean, he’s Tim Motherfuckin’ Tebow.” The Lions’ offense figures to run through Tebow, whether he is throwing the ball or running with it. At Florida, Tebow threw for a total of 9,285 yards and 88 touchdowns, while he also rushed for 2,947 yards and 57 touchdowns. Looking at those numbers, Tebow is expected to crush the Division III competition. “I’m thinking of scheduling Alabama next year, just to make things interesting,” Hamilton said. “I know it’s unorthodox, but with Tebow on our side there’s no way we can lose.” While many may criticize the Jets for this insane move, Ryan and general manager Mike Tannenbaum truly feel they made out well in this trade, getting a player in Donoghue who can do what Tebow does, just for less money. “Let’s be honest here, Tebow fucking sucked in the NFL,” Tannenbaum said. “We only got him as trade bait for Donoghue.” As for Hamilton and the Lions, they probably feel like they just won the most recent Mega Millions, because the program has certainly hit the jackpot with Tebow. Hamilton may have put it best, in his most convincing Hulk Hogan impression drawn straight from his mustache. “Whatcha gonna do TUNJ brother, when Tebowmania runs wild on you?!”
Boscoe the Lion gets wild E X P O S E D ! ! ! Tennis team on ’roids
By Hank Haney Bitch-ass golf rat Three weeks ago, Student Gubernatorial Decision Making Board International voted not to acknowledge the TUNJ Golf Club, a move which didn’t sit well with its members. “We showed up with a bulletproof proposal, spilled our hearts out and all we got back was a gallon of haterade,” said senior Adam Sandler major and team captain Nietsnetig Arabrab. The club was told that they “would not utilize or benefit facilities at the University,” according to an article in The Singal. In response to these comments, Arabrab devised a plan to prove SG wrong by playing a round of 18 holes on the College’s campus this past Sunday. “They said we wouldn’t use the facilities, well they were dead wrong,” Arabrab said. “This campus has everything we need — water hazards, sand traps, woods and plenty of green.” The day’s round kicked off when Arabrab launched a tee shot off one of the University’s infamous Balls. The inaugural shot flew toward Ickhoff Hall, landing smack dab in the middle of one student’s vegetarian chili. “I was just sitting there minding my own damn business man, when all of a sudden I hear this
clang and felt a steaming bowl of chili on my chest,” said senior bowling major Jeffrey Lebowski. “The splash ruined my shirt, and it really tied the outfit together man.” Things got interesting again on the ninth green when sophomore business major Ty Webb sent a well-struck putt toward the hole. The shot was on its way when all a sudden it was snatched up by Dean Rufkin’s dog. “The shot was a beaut. I had the perfect form and a nice smooth, gentle stroke. I treated that ball like the finest of ladies” said Webb. “Then I see this dog take God’s gift, my perfect putt, and take off with it. All I have to say is, that dog can suck on these nuts.” The club’s coach, former NFL
quarterback Ryan Leaf – formerly the coach of the Western Texas A & M’s and the Texas State Penitentiary’s golf teams — determined that Webb would get to reattempt his shot. Webb responded by shanking the putt after an unknown heckler screamed out, “You will not make this putt, jackass!” The day was otherwise uneventful until it ended with a bang as Arabrab finished the day with some poetic justice. Arabrab shot an honorary 19th hole, the conclusion of the round going straight up the ass of Boscoe the Lion. “Now that’s what I call a hole-in-one,” shouted Arabrab. “Maybe they’ll think twice before fucking with the future Happy Gilmores of the world. Yeah, buddy.”
Photo courtesy of the alligator who ate Chubbs Peterson’s hand
The famous 19th hole at the University’s course.
By Spark McFlyer Resident steroids expert
Scandal hit the University this past week when star tennis players Allie Benny and Karisse Tierdijo were indicated in the O’Patrick Report, an investigation launched by the federal government to investigate the University’s athletes on accusations of performance enhancing drugs. “We were out of batshit stupid ideas to waste taxpayer money on, so we decided we would investigate TUNJ’s sports teams,” a federal investigator whose name ryhmes with Larry Blondes who asked to remain unnamed said. “I — I mean we — needed something to take the attention from my — I mean our — steroids scandal of the past. That, and my — I mean, the government’s? — overly large head.” Tierdijo was alleged to have used the cream and the clear, a compound combination that was famously used by baseball player Barry Bonds. Benny was accused of taking human growth hormone. ’Roids are now suspected to have been the cause of the University’s nearly 20-year New Jersey Athletic Sporty Society (NJASS) win streak. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Tierdijo said. “Have you seen me? I’m five-foot-nothing and I weigh like 90 fucking pounds. Get out of my face with this bullshit.”
Blondes insists that he “knows a steroid user when he sees one,” and that Benny and Tierdijo definitely got too good too fast. “Look at what happened to me — I mean, all of those MLB players,” Blondes said. “I kicked so much ass — I had home runs, bitches, accolades, MVPs, bitches, Hank Aaron’s home run record, and oh yeah, bitches. Oh, I mean, those players did that. Not me.” The investigation is continuing as see ROIDS!!!! page 762
Photo courtesy of the FBI
This mystery FBI agent apprehended the University’s tennis players for ’roid use.