Borderline hypochondriac

Last week, I woke up in the middle of the night to a single sharp achy-pain and I thought it was going to be the death of me. That's it_ it’s cancer!

As human beings, we are afraid of death and prone to health-related hysteria. We often exaggerate single minor situations into things that aren’t remotely true. I am guilty. Totally and utterly guilty. I am a total scary-cat and borderline hypochondriac.

Every time there is a slight outbreak on the news, we go bonkers! We have a tendency to overreact and conclude the worst is near. The Americans started to pack their bags and fled to the wilderness after one American contracted Ebola. With the Coronavirus outbreak, we lined up at gas stations for hours to buy petrol, panic-bought toilet rolls and purchased every canned and dry food we could lay our hands on.

We panic way too much and when our own life is questioned: it is multiplied. I stopped searching for my illnesses on

BY DAVIDSON LOUIS

Rachel Wolchin once said: “If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have had roots instead of feet.” On this quest to self-discovery, TC Islander Davidson Louis vowed to travel, write, paint, laugh and forgive. Subsequently, he hopes to find himself and or, leave behind a few pieces of himself. Contact him at hello. octopen@tcinews.tc

Google because when I do, I tend to self-diagnose with the worst conditions and sometimes with just days to live. If you are like me, know that you are not alone. Severe or mild, we all want to cling on to our health: our utmost prerogative. But to what extent? When does self-care turn into a series of unhealthy scars? Probably when you think your stomach pain was cancerous, when in fact, I just rolled on my jeans with the metal zipper pointing up.

I took it upon myself to find some real-life situations on Twitter to prove that we could be too pedantic when it comes to our health.

MARK S

I went to the ER because “my legs have turned blue and The Web MD says I have deep vein Thrombosis.” Was this it? The big one? No! I have the “idiotic who doesn’t wash his new jeans before wearing them” disease and I would like to be executed immediately.

STEPHANIE H

I went through a phase where I was seriously concerned I had a brain tumor or something because everything I ateincluding things like pasta with marinara sauce- tasted like peppermint. Finally, I realised a bottle of peppermint extract had spilled all over my pots and pans.

KIM F

I had a complete panic on the new-born maternity ward in the hospital, frantically pressing the emergency button to summon nurses, because my baby had turned blue. Turned out it was just my blue dressing gown reflecting on her face. She has survived my appalling mothering and is now 26.

ADJE S

I once went to an Urgent Care for what I swore was Strep Throat, because it looked like my tonsils were covered in white mucus. After swabbing my tonsils, the doctor told me it was bread. Bread from a sandwich I ate earlier that day!

IZZYK

Suddenly I started seeing double when outside the house talking to my wife. Quite disoriented I came inside to check the internet for a diagnosis. I was closely followed by my wife who was holding a lens from one side of my glasses which she picked up where I had been standing.

KATE

I went to Mexico and floated around a lazy river for a week enjoying some margaritas. When I got home I had large brown spots on my abdomen. That was it. I overdid it. I had skin cancer. Turns out lemons, sun and water, stain your skin. My doctor called it ‘margaritavitis’.

JOEM

I thought I had diabetes one time. Every time I peed it would smell sweet. Excess sugar in the urine! Turns out my wife put an air freshener in our toilet…

KARAN

When I was in middle school I sat my parents down to tell them I have cancer because I had mysterious bruises all over my body. When they finally stopped laughing at me they explained that I sleepwalk into a table every night.

And you, what is your funny story? Where do you sit on the hypochondriac scale? Make me laugh, I am dying to hear them. Share at louisedens@gmail.com