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This month we are bringing you the hottest, most determined, most driven artists and individuals from the underground. We have Yung Crusay, Kryz Starr, Kendra Spencer, The Artist The Series, and more!
12 Trans-Nation 16 Playing Games - A Novel 22 The Artist The Series 26 Life Plan 38 Young Crusay
Lyrical Genius Young Crusay in her unending road to success.
Kryz Starr takes us along with him on his transgender journey.
Author Kendra Spencer takes us inside of her latest novel!
A hot new scripted series showcasing lesbians in present day Houston, Texas.
The steps needed to make an even better you!
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Author Kendra “Prince” Spencer provides insight into her journey to completing her first novel: ‘Playing Games - A Lesbian Love Triangle.
CONTENT
Lez Underground is the official publication of Team Lesbians. It is an online magazine that will focus on the underground talent found deep within the lesbian community. We will focus on musicians, writers, poets, dancers, fashion designers, etc. The lesbian community is rich in culture and talents and we look forward to showcasing all that we can. There has never been a magazine such as Lez Underground focusing on the gritty under layers of starving artists, hungry for success. We promise to be no holds barred providing only the best of the best in each article. We will work hard to bring you what you want to read...so good, that you just can’t set the magazine down.
Questions & Answers We take your questions on life, love, and relationships!
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a n y a l r a M What is one thing that you want the world to know about you? I work hard. I play hard. Dance is my life and I love Candy.
Dance is a rhythmic language of the soul, an intense compilation of movement, passion, and rhythm. Dance is a true form of expression to a melodic flow without words. Dance just is. Marlayna, a dancer living in Dayton, Ohio gave us an insightful view into the world of dance and choreography, and why dance is important. So in her words, this is her story. Twitter: @cetrine_noel || Instagram: @cetrine_noel
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Marlayna is seen doing what she does best, dancing and performing on stage.
How old were you when you began dancing? I love dance. I started dancing when I was 12 years old which is often considered late for a girl. I was never a big talker and I loved that I could express myself What acknowledgements have you received through dance without having to speak. for dancing? I received an awesome review in the NY Times which was a huge accomplishment for me. HowWhat type of dances do you perform and choreo- ever, there aren’t too many ways to get awards graph? in the dance world unless you are a choreograThe form of dancing that I do is concert dance, it’s pher; and that’s typically a male dominated field different from what you see on TV which is comso it’s hard for women to get recognized, but not mercial dancing (music videos, commercials, awards impossible. shows) and competition dancing (So You Think You Can Dance, Dance Moms, and America’s Best Dance Crew).
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Do you have any regrets? Of course there are challenges, but it’s very much worth it! Since I am still dancing professionally and offering advice to my students this all serves as a reminder to me that I am truly doing what I love to do.
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When did you decide to begin teaching? I started teaching a class here or there in high school but I didn’t really get into it until I moved to Ohio. I now teach 5-6 days a week! I dance for Dayton Contemporary Dance Company (www.dcdc. org), one of the 6 major black dance companies in the United States alongside: Philadanco, Dallas Black Dance Theatre, Cleo Parker Robinson Dance Ensemble, Lula Washington Dance Theatre, and the most well-known Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre. I’ve danced with everyone except Philadanco and Alvin Ailey.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I still want to be dancing! I want to dance until I’m 45 or 50. I will always and forever find myself teaching and choreographing dances after my time on the stage is done. PBS just completed a documentary on our company called sparkle. Our oldest dancer is Sheri “Sparkle” Williams. She is 50 years old and is still doing it full out. I’ve been deemed the next Sheri and it is such an honor. In the near future, I hope to be teaching dance majors at a college or university, being happily married to my girlfriend, and having 1 to 2 kids.
What enjoyment do you find in teaching your students? I love my students and being able to teach them. The crazy thing is that the students end up teaching me while I’m teaching them. It is great to see them grow and to see the ideas and concepts click in. I teach mostly at dance competition studios so I’m able to create many dances like those you see on dance moms for example. In fact one of my studios just had their first competition and my duo received platinum, a specialty award for intensity and 7th place overall for their division!
What advice would you have for someone that was interested in dancing? Anyone can dance. It is a lot of hard work, so it depends on whether you want to do the work or not. It truly is a physical job; you will get tired and there will be injuries, but if you have a love or a joy for dancing, just keep pushing through when the times get tough. It will definitely be worth it in the end.
Besides dance, is there anything else that you can see yourself doing? I’ve had other side jobs in retail and serving but nothing compared to dance for me. I need to be up and about, active & dancing. I like to do things that are “arts” related so most everything that I do involves a creative process whether it be dancing, teaching, designing costumes, choreographing etc. I also am able to travel around the world (we recently went to China and Chile).
Have you faced any hardships due to being a lesbian in your industry? I haven’t really faced any hardships because I just recently came out last year. It was hard for me because the people I work with are my family. When we aren’t at the studio, we are at the movies together, going out dancing, watching football, and going to music festivals, etc. Coming out has made me feel more free and more comfortable with life in general because I am truly happy now.
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Do you plan on opening your own dance company one day? I absolutely love what I do. Although my field gets paid the least, I know that I could go to Las Vegas and make 5 times more than I make now, but that isn’t where my heart is. I have no desire to open my own dance studio or have my own company. I’d rather be on the artistic side and not on the business side of dance.
TIME FOR
2013 is going to be full of pride events across the nation! We picked out some of the most popular destinations and included their dates! Happy Pride!
PRIDE
PRIDE DATES FOR 2013
New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Baltimore, Houston, Atlanta, Columbus, Toronto, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and more to come in future issues of Lez Underground!
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ride 2013 will be one to remember in several cities across the nation as well as in Canada and abroad! No matter where you are, there will be a pride celebration going on somewhere around you. Many pride festivals have awesome entertainers booked for various events, and as more information is released, we’ll be sure to bring it your way!
Keep in mind that the dates of pride festivities may change or be updated, so be sure to check around the internet to stay up to date with pride events. Also, be sure to remember that many cities have more than one pride event. For example, Philadelphia has their pride festival in June, and also has the “OutFest� in early October. We have not listed all of the dates for cities with multiple pride events; however you find these dates and times online via official pride committees. Regardless of which pride festival you plan on attending, we hope to see you celebrating! Happy Pride!
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June 30 Pridefest, The March
San Francisco
June 29 Pride Celebration June 30 Pride Celebration, Pride Parade
Los Angeles
June 07 Pride Celebration June 08 Pride Celebration June 09 Pride Celebration, Pride Parade
June 21 Pride Festival
Toronto
June 29 VIP Rooftop Party, Rapture/River
October 12 Pride Festival
Columbus
June 28 The Rally
Atlanta
New York City
June 26 Family Night
June 21-30 Pride Week
Philadelphia
Baltimore
June 14 Twilight on the Terrace June 15 Pride Parade, Pride Block Party June 16 Pride Festival
October 13 Pride Parade
June 22 Pride Parade June 23 Pride Brunch
June 28-29 Pride Community Street Fair June 30 Pride Festival, Pride Parade
June 09 Pride Festival, Pride Parade October 6 OutFest
e d i r P f o s e d a c e d g n i t a r b e Cel 3 Festivals 201
d u o r P e B
Events &
Pittsburgh
Houston
June 21-30 Pride Week June 26 Rock the Runway June 27 Pride Superstar Finale June 29 Pride Festival, Pride Parade
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June 07-16 Pride Week June 07 Pride Advocacy Rally June 15 Pride in the Steet June 16 Pride March, Pridefest
Inette, 28 Chicago My name is Inette and I’m a pretty laid-back, friendly, open-minded, optimistic, quiet person who loves motorcycles and will soon learn how to ride. I’m also into nature, sports, fitness and all mediums of art. One of my favorite artists right now is Tasya van Ree.
Drell, 20 Phiadelphia My name is Drell. I’m 20 years old, & I live in philadelphia, PA. I’m a skateboarder & college student pursuing my dream of making it to the pros & getting a college degree. I’m athletic, ambitious but also educated and will be in school soon for biology/pre-medical.
Adonnica, 23 Cleveland I’m a sarcastic sweetheart, and a proud Jamaican & AfroCuban. I have my BA in Business Management with a concentration in Retail Management. I received my minor in Elementary education. I’m currently a personal shopper for a few department stores as well as starting up my own event planning company. I love to shop, travel, paint, and just enjoy life. I’m something like an adrenaline junkie so I’ll try any dare devil activity at least once, maybe twice to make sure I like it.
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This month we bring you Inette, Drell, and Adonnica! Click on their names for more information! Read below for information on how to submit yourself for our monthly singles!
Single Ladies: March 11
Each month we will feature the top single members from our community, showcasing our most determined, driven, and focused individuals. To be considered in next month’s featured singles, send your information to teamlesbians@ gmail.com
yUNG CRUSAY
NO HEARTNO HUSTLE
#NOheartNOhustle2. Its my real tape. Its my chance to be raw and go in for once. I feel comfortable on the #NHNH series more than any tape. The motivation behind this mixtape is the motto in which I live by “If your heart isn’t in it, your hustle will NEVER be right.”
In Houston, Texas, amongst the loud screams and ever growing crowds, Yung Crusay lights up the stage at Divaz for her Unpopular mixtape release. She spits her blatantly true rhymes and her fans take it all in. After the grand finale, amidst the cries of support, and the numerous requests for pictures, she takes a moment to reflect on her success and the constant struggle to reach the top in a male dominated industry. Momentarily, Cru clears her head and agrees to a few photo op’s in appreciation of her fans. Crusay, the young lyrical genius, stands tall knowing that not one person standing before her
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can touch her skills. After a few drinks and a couple of conversations, she decides to end the night knowing that this evening was a complete success. She says her goodbyes and heads home for some long overdue rest, knowing that soon, she will have to do it all over again. Born in Huntsville, Texas, Crusay made the decision to move to Houston, Texas in order to fulfill her dreams. Since she stepped on the stage, she has never once slowed down. In 2012 alone, she dropped a total of 5 mixtapes which is a feat for even a well-established artist. Not only did she have a pleth-
Follow Crusay Twitter: @Yung_Crusay Facebook: Dirty Bizness Ent YouTube: DirtyBiznessTV
-ora of mixtapes that year, each mixtape was well received on a national scale. Not one flop. The latest mixtape released by Yung Crusay is entitled #NOheartNOhustle2. What’s the meaning of this release? “If your heart isn’t in it, your hustle will NEVER be right.” As if the time she spends on creating music is not enough, Crusay will also star in two separate shows in 2013. To say that she is doing big things is probably the understatement of the year!
When asked what keeps her going, Cru replied “I don’t have a plan B. I dropped out of college and although I’m going back, I still won’t have a plan B. My motivation is that if I fail or if I quit, that’s it for me.” She’s original; and her music does a great job of telling her story. You may wonder what makes Crusay unique, “Everything about me. My hustle, my flow, my look, my sound...I’m just trying to be Yung Crusay at the end of the day.”
Bo$$ Ladies of Texas, a reality show showcasing lesbians and small businesses trying to make it in Texas is one of the shows that Cru will be featured in followed by The Artist The Series, a scripted lesbian drama. The Artist The Series spotlights different types of artists (photographers, promoters, tattoo artists, etc.) and how they juggle life and love. With a very diverse cast, the show slated for release in 2013 is expected to be a bit hit.
Crusay mentioned that one of her greatest struggles in the rap game is getting out of Houston, “It’s truly a jungle out here and unfortunately no one is excelling due to the separation.” Through her ups and downs, Yung Crusay’s musical passion is constant and we enjoy watching the journey on her road to success. I mean really, who are we kidding? Yung Crusay is one of the
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best in her genre. Her melodic flows, passionate rhymes, and her one of a kind personality are just a few things that make this artist stick out. We can’t stop bumping her Unpopular and No Heart No Hustle mixtapes, she has us all addicted and it’s unlikely that this will falter any time soon. We leave you now with Crusay’s Dirty Bizness Ent. “Dirty Bizness is not only a label, but a movement, one that is a force to be reckoned with. Dirty Bizness Entertainment is a company based in Houston, Texas and was founded by Crusay in 2006. After leaving an independent label and deciding that she didn’t want to be signed, Cru decided to create her own label, and put out artists that she feels deserve to be out. Although Dirty Bizness is headed by a lesbian, it is not an LGBT only company. Through the years, Dirty Bizness Entertainment has grown from a music label to an entertainment label. It’s also home to Dirty Girl Modeling Group, which is an all lesbian modeling group, and Speak Up, which is an organization against same-sex domestic violence. The basis of the company is to motivate and move the people. This company is here to show that no matter where you’re from or who you are if you are serious about your dream, you can make it.”
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tRANSGENDER IN
aMERICA
A raw and insightful look into the life of a trans guy. Kryz Starr brings you his truth along his journey through transitioning.
Transgender: Identified with a gender other than the biological one. FTM: A female-to-male (FTM) transgender or transsexual person. A trans man is assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. Bottom Surgery: Bottom surgery is surgery done for sex reassignment that focuses on altering the genital system (external genitalia and internal reproductive organs). For female-to-male transitions, these procedures include removal of the uterus and ovaries and creation of a penis and scrotum. Gender identity disorder (GID): The formal diagnosis used by psychologists and physicians to describe persons who experience significant gender dysphoria (discontent with the sex they were assigned at birth and/or the gender roles associated with that sex).
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Often times being transgender is viewed as a taboo subject within the LGBT community; the big elephant in the room that many are afraid to acknowledge for one reason or another. Until recently, transgender people were viewed as being mentally ill with Gender Identity Disorder, which will be replaced by Gender Dysphoria in the updated Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Although there are many great organizations that serve to assist and represent the transgender community; throughout the years, throughout many personal struggles, the transgender community has been largely put off or ignored within the masses. No one can speak of nor tell the story of being transgender in America, better than a transgender individual. Team Lesbians is happy to share the story of a trans guy living in America. We happily introduce you to Kryz Starr. I was 21 when I started to think about transitioning. It was hard for me because I was torn between doing what would make me feel complete and what would make my family happy. I fell into a deep depression because of this. Not only did I feel like an outcast but with no one that understood me and with no one to talk to I felt like a lonely outcast. It was the worst feeling ever. As far back as I can remember I’ve always felt like a stranger in my own body, but I could never really pin point why. It’s not like
there was a poster child for the trans community. You see growing up in a Christian household you’re taught that we’re all born the way we are for a reason, God makes no mistakes. So I lived on that for many years hoping that maybe as I grew older my body would change or how I felt would change. It was a rude awaking when reality set in. I never told my family about me not feeling comfortable in my own skin because when I finally got up the courage to tell them that I was into girls I got bad reactions from them. My older
brother just couldn’t wrap his head around it and my aunts seemed to find any reason to beat me, perhaps hoping that I would change my mind. I’m 26 now and it was after I got my top surgery that I came clean about how I’ve always felt. My mom says she’s okay with it but no one in my family can bring themselves to call me he which is a big problem to me and that is why I keep my distance. I was 2 years into a relationship when I finally confessed to the girl that I was seeing that I wanted to make the transition.
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Kryz
Kryz Starr, a 26 year old trans guy, shares his story wthout holding back and offers advice for the many individuals within the LGBT community that find themselves in the same position: Living in Trans-America.
Transgender in America Transitioning & Relationships
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She told me she had an idea that I felt like that because when we got together I asked her to refer to me as “he”. She didn’t know exactly how serious I was about transitioning but said that she would still stay with me, however the more serious she saw me becoming about transitioning, the more distant we became. Three years later we broke up for good although for her, my transition was said to not be the problem. In reality, my transition was the problem. Because I was miserable with myself and didn’t love myself at the time, I couldn’t love her and made myself a miserable person to be around.
Kryz Starr is a trans guy that has faced adversity and hardships throughout his transition. Kryz shares his story via Lez Underground.
TRANSITION One Step at a Time I haven’t taken too many steps in terms of my transition. I still face a long road ahead, but my main focus was the deformities on my chest. I knew I could easily pass as a male had these things not been so noticeable so I started to ask my doctor questions about reductions and chest reconfigurations. I knew I didn’t have the funds for this kind of surgery but I was lucky enough to have health insurance, so I figured maybe there was some kind of help that I can get through my insurance. This was a long shot but I had to try. After talking with my doctor I found out that my insurance would only cover a reduction, I knew this was not what I wanted but
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at the same time I figured anything smaller than what I had would bring me one step closer to feeling better about myself not to mention if they were smaller at least it would be easier to bind. So I agreed to see the surgeon and we talked about it. The first surgeon I met was a man that obviously believed it wouldn’t be a good idea to get a reduction if I knew I would be getting a chest reconfiguration later on, he said I should just wait till I had the money to do it in one shot. I personally just felt like he didn’t like the whole transgendered thing but that’s my opinion. Anyways it doesn’t matter because he had mentioned that maybe I should go see a surgeon in my area that was known for working with people like me (transgender) so I asked for her name. I didn’t know it then but she would be the surgeon that I would forever be in debt to. After a lot of paper work
and referrals I finally got a visit with Melissa Johnson at valley plastic surgery. When we met it was like she saw the misery in my eyes, like she felt the sadness and indeed wanted to help me. What was only supposed to be a reduction turned out to be a full chest reconfiguration and the
I finally got a visit with Melissa Johnson at valley plastic surgery. When we met it was like she saw the misery in my eyes, like she felt the sadness and indeed wanted to help me.
“It’s not like there was a poster child for the trans community”
beginning of my transformation. With my top surgery complete, I’m now in the process of talking to my doctors about starting testosterone treatment and also working on my name change. While I do wish to fully complete my transformation with bottom surgery, it will be a while due to money issues. Any transgender FTM knows that the process for bottom surgery costs around $15,000 - $20,000 and at that the process is not perfected at all. In the meantime I would be very content with starting testosterone, changing my name and my
sex on my license. There are other alternatives to feeling complete down below like packing with packers or STP devices. My family is really reluctant about my journey. To this day they try to convince me that it’s a phase and continue to ask me if I’m really going to get a “dick”, as if they’ve never seen one. They are very naïve. I would have to say they are the only ones that give me hell about my transition because honestly no one else does. The hardest part about transitioning for me is by far the fact that my family is not excepting or understanding.
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I really wish I had their genuine blessing. Since coming out about my transition my family still doesn’t take it seriously and my brothers really don’t want me to continue, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t care. I’m tired of living for my family; it’s time I make me happy. My friends on the other hand are very excepting and they are trying their best to oblige by my wish and use only male pronouns and the name I go by. I feel a lot better than I did before. I feel like little by little I am finally
Kryz Starr Transitioning & Children becoming the man I know I am. Like I stated before my journey is still in the beginning stages but just with what I’ve accomplished so far, I am very happy with the progress that I have made. I do consider myself straight and while I don’t consider myself a part of the lesbian community, I am and always will be a part the L.G.B.(T) community. I love children and yes I would like to have a child someday soon, but I do not plan on having the child myself. My girlfriend and I have been talking about it and we decided she would carry our child. I would like to utilize the eggs god gave me and have them inserted in her, but I guess we will have
to wait and see how that pans out. I don’t think us having a child would pose any difficulty to friends or family however I’m sure society may have its share of opinions. I personally won’t tell my child about anything regarding my transition, he or she will come to know me as daddy and that’s all there is to it. I would tell other transgender people that they are not alone. At times they may feel like they are weird or abnormal but this is not true. We are not weird and what we are feeling is very normal just not as publicized as other things are. The process is a long and hard one; you will lose friends and possibly family but you must always follow your heart and be true to thy self. Also having a therapist might not be such a bad idea, they will prove useful.
CONTACT: Facebook Kryz Starr
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Have any organizations supported you along your journey? As for any organizations supporting me through my decision, No! But that may be because I haven’t really sought any support. This is a journey I have started by myself and because of how hard it is I will continue by myself. However, 3 years ago I met a woman that has been there for me since day one and has showed me that she would stick around no matter what. I do have a favorite site that I use to buy my basic essentials. www.Urimate.com is a site where trans guys can go to purchase everything from binders to packers and the owner himself is a trans guy. This site is a great site for beginners.
I would tell other transgender people that they are not alone. At times they may feel like they are weird or abnormal but this is not true. We are not weird .
Facebook::Tumblr::Email
Tumblr
Starr-Quality
Transguy2k12@gmail.com
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Playing Games
a
K
endra Spencer grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio playing basketball, writing poetry and living her life. In 2004, at the young age of 15, Kendra “Prince” Spencer began writing a novel entitled “Playing Games.” The more she threw herself into this novel, the more it began to take on a life of its own. The characters came to life at the tip of her pen as she scribbled down line after line of the story. Albeit a long process, once Kendra finished the novel at 16 years of age, she edited it in 2008 and published in 2010. Being a perfectionist, and not wanting to rush, Kendra went in one last time to have the book reedited prior to last year’s release.
Kendra “Prince” Spencer brings us Playing Games: A Lesbian Love Triangle with characters Ronnie, Kenni, & Shyna. What do you do when you are caught between love & lust?
love Now, we can all sit back and enjoy the novel Playing Games – A Lesbian Love Triangle. The story encompasses main characters Ronnie, Kenni, and Shyna as they find themselves enveloped in an unhealthy love triangle in which a valuable lesson is learned: There is no equal between love and lust. Ronnie is a stud that finds herself caught in between love and lust. Though she loves Kenni, a feisty feminine character, she finds herself caught in the allure of an attractive older woman by the name of Shyna. The story follows Ronnie on her journey bouncing back and forth between both Kenni & Shyna, but as everyone knows, those that play with fire eventually get burned.
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triangle Playing Games is currently available on Create Space and Amazon in both print and kindle e-book versions. Playing Games Part II is currently in the works and will be released in 2013. Catch up with Kendra as she rolls into March madness with unbelievable sales on both her print and electronic versions of Playing Games. The Kindle version will be available for $.99 while the print version will be available for $10.
Kendra spencer Twitter: @PrinceDat1Stud Facebook: Author Kendra Spencer
Our Favorite
COMPANIES #LGBT
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THE ARTIST
THE SERIES
Aprill Renee
W
women on their journeys, striving to obtain their goals and aspirations amidst the drama, clashes, and conflicts of life. You may ask, what makes The Artist The Series different from other scripted shows, and the answer is surprisingly raw: the show provides insight that is not often enough portrayed in other drama series. Although the show may be scripted, the scenarios, issues, and circumstances that the characters face all stem from real life. It’s a reality that we can all relate to in one fashion or another. Let’s keep it real, at times a little drama can tickle all of our fancies. So we ask, are you ready for the ride? Soon we’ll all sit back and watch life, passion, love, and drama drive these women of The The Artist The Series is an online scripted web series showcasing lesbian Artist The Series! & bisexual women in present day Houston, Texas. The characters of diverse backgrounds all have artistic passion @TATSTheArtist and skills ranging from modeling to The Artist The Series photography. The story follows these hen Aprill Renee began writing The Artist The Series in January of 2011, she had no idea that the project would take on a life of its own. The original story mirrored Aprill’s life and encompassed a lone a female filmmaker; however as she continued on in the piece, she began incorporating various characters and the story slowly began evolving into something that was much more than she had expected. Giving the piece an edge, all of the characters were artists in their own right, hence The Artist The Series. Together, Aprill Renee & Storm Diosa, the series co-writer and producer have put together quite a masterpiece.
Follow Tats:
Coming soon 26
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Catch Team Lesbian’s on Blog Talk Radio. You will catch us discussing any and everything LGBT. We have interviews, contests, games, news, & more! Shows begin at midnight EST. March 2013 Schedule
The
BLOG TALK Schedule
MARCH
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Please note that for the month of March, we will only be live once a week! Stay tuned for updates!
Please note: Show times & dates may change. Please 28 check www.teamlesbians.com to stay updated.
March 6 Mental & Mood Disorders: How to remain supportive
March 13 Fetishes/ Phone Sex
March 20 Interview with Unecc
March 27 Dating women with kids when an ex is in the picture.
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ometimes, in life we find ourselves lost or out of place be it because of something major or something small. We believe that in life, we will all need some help at one time or another. And our motto at Team Lesbians is “a little advice can go a very long way.” Whether you find yourself facing your current circumstance due to love, life in general, professions, schooling, or relationships, we are here to help. We’ve picked the top questions submitted to us via e-mail and
placed them in our Q&A section. We hope that the answers that we provide, are not only a help to the individuals that reached out to us by way of email, but also to our readers. If you find yourself in the same situations, you may find help in the answers that we have provided. To have your questions included in the next issue of Lez Underground, please send us an email at teamlesbians@gmail. com. Thank you!
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LIFE
I’m 27 years old and I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months now which is a big deal for me because I tend to get “bored” fast. I feel like I am beginning to lose steam in my relationship. I love my girlfriend so much and I don’t ever want to feel like I just gave up, what do I do? - NB, Tampa
Q
In all honesty, at some point we all have to grow up. You cannot want a long-term relationship, yet refuse to put in the work for it. If your girlfriend has not failed you in one way or another, then find ways to spice things back up, but don’t allow walking away to become your first thought when boredom creeps into the relationship.
I’m a recent college grad, struggling to find a job. This may seem normal, but the thing is I’m 30 years old. I went back to school when I was 26, and had a full-time job but with the current economy, it’s been hard. My question is, how can I find a relationship given my current circumstance? KJ, Atlanta
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Congratulations on obtaining your degree, that’s a big deal. Not every woman will understand your circumstance, but the ones that are worth it, will. Your degree is more than just a degree; it’s a sign of being determined, independent and wanting more out of life. Surround yourself with like minds!
Q
Long distance relationships can be hard and often times bring about issues that may not be so common in physical relationships. At this point you have to decide how important she is to you and if she is worth the effort. If so then try to think of ideas to minimize the impact of distance such as visiting more. Want to see her more? There’s always Skype! :)
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I met someone online and we have totally hit it off. I live in PA and she lives in NC. I have been in 1 real long distance relationship before but I don’t know if I have it in me to be in another one, but I’ve already started falling for her. What do I do? Please help me!!! AM, Philly
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QUESTIONS &
The staff behind Team Lesbians takes your questions about love, life, & happiness!
ANSWERS Regardless of your circumstance, at some point you must decide what is important to you, and what you’re willing to sacrifice to get there. It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it!
I have been on a diet for the last 3 months and it has been working out really well, however, I still can’t find someone to just love me for me, what else can I do to find true love, to find someone who thinks that I am great just the way that I am? I’m already insecure, and feeling like I turn off everyone with my size/weight doesn’t help at all! DE, Houston
Q
A
As cliché as it may sound, you have to love you & appreciate yourself before you can expect anyone else to. You’ve got to gain confidence in yourself. It’s likely that others sense your insecurities & lack of confidence in the way that you carry yourself. Realize your beauty. Realize your worth. The best advice I can give you is don’t go looking for love, let love come looking for you! You will gain love when you least expect it.
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bridging the 32
Bridging the Gap By. Mala
On November 6, 2012, President Barack Obama won his second-term in the White House, and on January 21, 2013 he made history yet again by addressing gay rights in his inaugural speech. “Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well,” Never before during a presidential swearing in, had a president ever cited gay rights and equality. Needless to say, this was a great and meaningful day within the LGBT community.
major opponent of gay marriage and when asked about gay marriage, responded that he agreed with the president “that all people are created equal by God and all people should be treated equally under the law... But the president is implying that some people are created or born gay and I do not believe the evidence supports.” In February the Obama administration said that federal law denying financial benefits to legally wed gay and lesbian couples is unconstitutional. In March, the high court begins hearing arguments regarding the Defence of Marriage Act (DOMA). DOMA is a congressional law that states, marriage is defined as only between one man and one woman.
With one small win in our pockets, the fight does not stop there. While there has been an increase in terms of supporting gay marriage and equality, there has also been an increase in gay marriage opponents. Peter Sprigg, Senior Fellow for Policy Studies of the Family Research Council is a
e gap
Although the fight for equality is in its infancy in regards to legislation, it is a fight continually gaining momentum. There is a long road ahead, one that will surely make history and we hope that everyone will pay close attention to this matter, because if one thing is for certain, it will take all of us coming together in order to make a difference.
Tackling the Divide:
2013 President Barack Obama As the fight for equality begins to gain momentum, more focus is being placed on the issue, more so now than ever. As the groups and individuals that support the cause begin to increase, the groups and individuals that oppose gay marriage will also increase. In March, the high court will begin hearing arguments on the issue. Though it’s very unlikely that we will immediately see a change on a grand scale, this court hearing will be one of the first important steps taken.
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dENALERIE
Johnson-Faniel ph.d. son-Faniel’s book, Making Herstory: Womyn Working it Out!
WOMYN
The National Black Justice Coalition advocates around the need for federal legislation and even though President Obama is supportive of equal rights, we need action. Racism, homophobia and transphobia create disproportionate job bias against LGBT people of color. Everyone should be able to work without being concerned that they will be fired for personal qualities and characteristics that they have little to no control over. Unfortunately, little work has been done to examine the effect of employment discrimination on the career development paths of African American lesbians considered as a triple-threat minority: Black, gay, and female. Dr. Faniel’s work explores the lived experiences of African American self-identified lesbian managers with a specific focus on their career paths and professional development. It is hoped that her findings will show a need for further research in the area of vocational counseling relative to African American lesbians and expand on the social, cultural, and psychological literature to address federal policy protection in cases of employment discrimination, career hindrances, including denial of promotions, lack of role models and mentors, etc.
WORKING IT
OUT
P
eople do not get fired for being straight! There is no federal law that consistently protects LGBT individuals from employment discrimination; based on research provided by the Human Rights Campaign, it remains legal in 29 states to discriminate based on sexual orientation, and in 34 states to do so based on gender identity or expression. As a result, LGBT people face serious discrimination in employment, including being fired, being denied a promotion, and experiencing harassment on the job. Specifically, homophobic discrimination and hate crimes might have an even greater impact on those African Americans lesbians and women of authority on the job. This issue is explored in Dr. Denalerie John-
Fear is real, albeit a social construct to an extent; it is only recently that people have begun to hold candid discussions about homosexuality and workforce development issues. Some individuals who self-identify as lesbian have historically been reluctant to talk about their sexual identity. Black community,
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“LGBT people face serious discrimination in employ ment, including being fired, being denied a promotion, and experiencing harassment on the job.“
discussions of homosexuality are even less prevalent, lending to many feeling silence would somehow alleviate the negative stigma attached to their sexual orientation. The book’s research points to this need for more scientific attention to these areas of concern in an effort to understand the career advancement of African American lesbians and the effects of homophobia and heterosexism. Making Herstory: Womyn Working it Out! explores African American lesbians life experiences and how they manage their racial and sexual identity within their communities, families and workplaces. Based on the research, heterosexism, or discrimination against gay men and lesbian women, can result in harassment, loss, lack of promotion and advancement, lack of same-sex domestic partner benefits, social isolation, and many other factors. There is no secret that African American women, in general, have been overlooked when it comes to career advancement and impediments to their success, Dr. Faniel’s book provides insight around employment, professional development advocacy,
practical and supportive practices, resources and tips that are a part of a toolkit that can help African American lesbians, and all women of color, succeed on the job. To learn more, please visit: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/ djohnsonatgbfresearchdotcom
About Denalerie Johnson-Faniel, Ph.D. Dr. Faniel, holds multiple awards, degrees and certifications and attended CUNY, Capella University and is graduate of Howard University and Columbia University. She is the former president & CEO of a National Urban League NJ affiliate
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and is an adjunct professor of Black History & Contemporary Social Problems and provides non-profit management & human services consultation services as the founder and principal of 3D Management, Consulting, LLC. She is workforce and organizational development executive with a global background focused on persons with disabilities and womens’ self-sufficiency and she has volunteered with www. TruthInReality.org, the YWCA, etc. Dr. Faniel is also the NJ social action and partnerships coordinator for Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. and serves as on the advisory board of directors for the NAACP-MEB and the New Leaders Council of NJ. Dr. Faniel is a Top 40 Under 40 Network Journal Honoree and a NJ State Global Woman of the Year. She and her wife live near Princeton, NJ; she is proud Texas native and her www. YOURAVON.com/DFANIEL proceeds benefit breast cancer research. Follow her via social media @ PhDivaStyleZeta. Her book can be purchased at http://www.lulu.com/ spotlight/djohnsonatgbfresearchdotcom.
A TIME
Judgement runs rampant in the LGBT community at times. Although at first glance it may seem to be nothing major, it is indeed a major setback to the equality that we fight for on a daily basis. If we cannot feel safe within our own community, all hope just may be lost for the future.
FOR CHANGE
T
he internet has bridged many gaps, paving the way for people of all walks of life to cross paths. As with many things in life, with the good, comes the bad. As easy as it has become for gays and lesbians to meet and socialize, it has also become easier for those that oppose us to meet and socialize. Everyone has a right to their opinion, but there is a thin line between what is acceptable and what is not. Throughout the years, the LGBT community has been largely opposed, but what’s surprising, or maybe not, is the amount of judgment that we place on our own. The same stereotypes that we refuse to allow to define us are the same stereotypes that we place on others and expect them to live by. Is this crazy or completely expected?
1. In order to be a real lesbian, you must be a manhater. 2. Masculine identified women can’t wear makeup or have hopes of carrying children. 3. Bisexuals are just confused. 4. Masculine identified women that may be bisexual; they’re ideally non-existent. 5. Masculine identified women are not supposed to date other masculine identified women The list goes on. These lesbians are laughed at and taunted for what they believe in and for whom they choose to love. It is baffling really how many of “us” have these viewpoints and see absolutely nothing wrong in having them. Wrong is wrong
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regardless of the flip of the coin. Many individuals in the LGBT community take part in marches for equality; sign petitions for marriage, petitions to obtain the same rights as any straight couple yet, they return home and place the same judgments that they’re fighting against. Ironic. How could any one of us expect others to take us seriously, to accept that we are equals, to accept that we should have the same rights as any other American citizen, while placing judgments on those that do not live up to our own personal standards. It’s ludicrous, hypocrisy at its finest.
“Many individuals in the LGBT community take part in marches for equality; sign petitions for marriage, petitions to obtain the same rights as any straight couple yet, they return home and place the same judgments that they’re fighting against”
To the masculine woman that rocks their lipstick & eyeliner, keep doing so. To the masculine woman that has or wants to have children, become the greatest mothers that you can be. To the bisexuals, love who you love. To anyone else constantly judged and stereotyped for being who they are, keep being you because no one can do it any better. But to those who are reluctant to change and easy to judge, please do not whine in regards to not being accepted in America. You may wonder what the lesson of this article is, well it is simple really: Love is love. Those that live in glass houses shouldn’t be so quick to throw stones.
You are never alone
The Rainbow Flag Gilbert Baker, an artist from San Francisco, designed the first rainbow flag in 1978. Originally consisting of eight stripes, the colors symbolized sexuality, life, healing, sunlight, nature, magic/art, serenity/ harmony, and spirit. In later years, the pink and turquoise stripes were removed forming the flag with six stripes that is largely recognized by most today as the “Rainbow Flag”. Though there have been many assumptions as to why the flag was first made, today it tends to mostly signify pride and unity.
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If at any time you need advice, direction, or just someone to listen to you, you can feel free to contact Team Lesbians via the website, email, voicemail, or our Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr pages. Website: www.teamlesbians.com Email: teamlesbians@gmail.com) Voicemail: (347) 333-1815.
LIFE PLAN
Celebrating a New You! We can always be better than what we are today. We can always obtain our goals regardless of our age or current circumstances. Sometimes we all just need a little push to get us there. With a sense of direction and a clear plan, your potential is great!
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One of the greatest tools in reaching your goals is motivation. There is no better way to stay motivated than by having a clear understanding of what you want out of life. An important factor in long-term success is long-term planning. Step one is to first clear your mind of your current circumstances. Where you are now is not important in regards to your life plan. It’s likely that focusing on your current circumstance is a contributing factor in not being motivated to tackle your goals. It’s a new day; begin to pave a path to your future!
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Grab a piece of paper, preferably a journal or notebook that you can use solely for your life plan. Many people focus on the here and now, and completely neglect their futures. It may seem as though planning for 10 or more years down the road is unrealistic and unattainable, but the truth is that planning for your future is the key to your success. Write down all of your needs, wants, and goals both for now and the future. If you want a brand new car, write it down. If you want to move, write it down. You get the point! Anything that you want to have in your life needs to find its way onto your piece of paper no matter how ridiculous it may seem for the moment. Be sure to leave a few lines free after each entry. Remember, this is YOUR plan and doesn’t have to be shared with anyone else, so whatever you do, do not hold back! After all, it is okay to be selfish every once and a while!
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Think about what steps you need to take to obtain the items that you’ve just listed, and be sure to be realistic because there is no need of setting yourself up for failure. For instance, if you want a new car, the steps you may need to take to get your new ride may be receiving your license, finding a new job, saving 15% of each pay check, etc. Write down these steps for each entry in your life plan. Also write down how long you expect the process to last in order to reach your end goal. This will help put things into perspective. You will begin to see which goals are the most easily attainable, and which goals are going to take more effort and more time.
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Remember, motivation will be your driving force. For starters pick one of your easiest goals, or goals that aren’t expected to take an overwhelming amount of time and effort and begin to pick away at the steps that are needed to get there. Back to our car example, if the first step to getting a new car is receiving your driver’s license, then set up a time to practice driving or a time to study for the driving exam. As crazy and pointless as this may seem now, you will be surprised by how much better you feel about yourself after you have begun being proactive about being successful. Keep completing the various steps you have listed one by one.
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After a few weeks, begin to review the steps and goals that you have completed thus far and are currently in the process of completing. The awesome part of this life plan is that most likely some of the steps that you are required to complete are used for more than one goal! Check off each goal as it’s completed and this will motivate you to keep going. In no time at all, you will find yourself better off than you were before! You’ll be more focused, better disciplined, motivated, and happier than ever!
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