Invention starts with “I”
With special thanks to, Sue Auty of Whalley Range All Stars and Darnhill Festival Association.
Introduction
This project was facilitated by two great artists who engaged young people from Heap Bridge Primary School, Our Lady and St Paul’s RC Primary School, St Margaret’s CE Primary School, Holy Family RC and CE College, and Siddal Moor Sports College, in creative writing and designing and building inventions and contraptions. Tony Walsh, also known as Longfella, is one of the UK’s most renowned performance poets and a respected writer, workshop leader and community organiser, and Mike Green, also known as Artmikanic, is an artist and sculptor who works with various metals to make his work fun, larger than life and accessible to all.
(This project has been produced by Darnhill Festival Association in partnership with Tell Us Another One at Cartwheel Arts.)
Invention starts with “I” If it’s “impossible” I’m immediately interested I’m incredibly intellectually inquisitive I’m impulsively impelled into investigating it intensely Ignoring insistent idiots, I’ll implement initial inspections I’ll involve innately impressive individuals I’ll introduce intrepid international innovators I’ll invest in illuminating independent inquiries into it I’ll inject inspiration! I invariably instil infectious ideologies I implant intriguing ideas I incubate inklings I improvise incessantly I incisively interrogate important information I input iconic images into itemised indexed inventories
I’m immersed in it! I identify interesting improvements I instigate impactful inroads into infamously intractable issues I instinctively imagine initiating instantly ingenious interventions into illogical impediments including infuriatingly interminable inertia I ignite infernos! I’m infinitely industrious I’m infinitely industrious I’m infinitely industrious If inconsequential idle idiots insist it’s inherently impossible I interject immediately; insisting instead… “It isn’t impossible – I’ve invented it!”
© Tony Walsh | 2014 | @LongfellaPoet
Our Winner is... The Violyn Player Thing by ANTONY MASON Year 8, Holy Family
The makeyourmorning-atron 3.14 by Thomas Sullivan,Year 5, Our Lady and St Paul’s
My machine is simply for helping you to do nearly everything you need to do in the morning (with the exception of brushing your teeth and having a shower) without getting out of bed. Basically you just press a button to activate colossal, robotic arms that bring you breakfast, a cup of tea, milk, fresh clothes and a washing basket to put your pyjamas in.
Tree House Magic
by Molly Finn,Year 4, Our Lady and St Paul’s The lights on my machine are neon pink. There are some buttons on the machine that make a swing and a slide pop out. My machine looks like a play house for anyone, if you press 6 it will fold up. It is like a real house, it is pink and purple. On my machine there is a security camera and it protects everything.
CLOTHES 2000
by Lily Irwin,Year 5, St Margaret’s
SUPER BROLLEY
by Josh Warrener,Year 5, St. Margaret’s
Chiller mobile!
by Jamie Blundell,Year 5, Our Lady and St Paul’s The chiller mobile is a magnificent car that has a big leather red relaxing chair with all-round music speakers. Beside it is a cup holder linked with a stilt that holds up the chair. Hanging over the chair is a portable green canopy to either block the rain or give some shade on a hot day (even take it off). The engine on my machine is similar to a Porsche and the bonnet on my machine is red. The window is thin and strong with a light on top for night. The steering wheel is metal and has a horn next to it. The keys only unlock the car. The 3 wheels are car wheels painted red, yellow, blue. At the top of the back is a light again for the night. From the front to the back there is a big orange pipe for safety.
The Robotic Litter Picker by Sophie Cooney,Year 5, Our Lady and St Paul’s
The Robotic Litter Picker has a metallic, metal body, with an enormous squared litter box drilled in the centre of its frame. Its large, metal head is ridged like an old fashioned dust bin. On my machine it has got a circular shape thumped onto its forehead, it is a clever tracking system flashing different colours. Once the system has tracked some rubbish, the Robotic Litter Picker automatically sweep’s the trash up. The robot’s arms are made from ash wood, making a vibrating sound every time it moves. Springy chains inside join up those large magnetic hands and pulls in gallons of rubbish ABRACADABRA! The rubbish has magically disappeared in the system! In this robot’s frame it’s bulky springs (legs) make it bounce up and down to its litter so this magnificent robot can collect its litter in no time!
THE CUPCAKE AND ICE CREAM MACHINE by Isabella Clegg,Year 4, Our Lady and St Paul’s
SENSORY AREA
by Olivia Butcher,Year 7, Holy Family
Selfie Photo Booth X123
by Harvey Ferris,Year 7, Siddal Moor This is a selfie photo booth. It is portable and can move on its two tracks. It has two feet holes to stand in when you have a selfie. It has speakers to play Top 40 of that year.
The Take Me Back
by Megan Leebetter,Year 7, Siddal Moor My invention is a photo machine. All you do for my invention is place a photo into my invention and it instantly takes you back to that moment. This is good for people who have had family or friends who have died. This is also good as you can go back to the best moment of your life, it is a medium sized item, with lots of buttons to scan, or print and has a button with a camera on it.
BATH
by Charley Hughes,Year 8, Holy Family
ROBO EMOTIONAL DINOSAUR by Holly Trippier,Year 8, Holy Family
Ball Life Saver
by Ryan Atkinson,Year 7, Siddal Moor This is a bouncy ball, made out of rubber and glows in the dark, it is for boats, when they are stuck or sinking you can bounce it and it will charge up the flares from the springs. If that does not work jump start them and throw it up into the air. Help will be en route.
The Time Machine
by Ronnie Kay,Year 3, Our Lady and St Paul’s First type what time you want to go to, then it will send you into a grey pipe, into the green and red pipe, down the spring, into the blue wire and then pull the lever and it will go down the purple wire into the blue pipe and then through the red wire and into the weather machine.You can choose any weather you want to have then it will go in the blue and red socket, it will connect to the disappear wires and you will press the red and blue button and then you will disappear.
The Cake Defender lol 3000
by Amber Jones, Ashlee Ward, Kian Pakes & Joshua Brooks,Year 6, Heap Bridge The Cake Defender lol 3000 is an all in one cake maker, decorator and defender for the ultimate baker with a first class security system. It has top of the line gadgets to create taste sensations which will leave you wanting more. It comes with a marvellous array of decorations and flavours to tickle your taste buds. The first line of defence against intruders is the elite, silicone finger print scanner designed to admit specified people. If there is an intruder, a red flashing light will appear and followed by firey pepper spray at the speed of light. The next stage to your delicious cake is the mixing station. This includes mechanical whisking arms to mix the blend of ingredients at 75mph, with an invisible forcefield to intercept any flying cake batter. The conveyor belt then takes the cake to the most supreme and technical oven known to man. Here it is baked at 1000oC, making the process 2.5 seconds. Next the cake travels to the fabulous fan, to cool the boiling cake. From this, the cake moves into the decorating area where you have a variety of toppings, icing flavours and decorations. This includes sprinkles, chocolate, millions, sweets, candles, and marshmallows. Now your cake is complete, the cake will be more appealing to intruders. This is why we have the Tongue Ripper 3000! Activated when an intruder tries to take the cake, slicing their tongue off and making them eat it instead.
The Double Web X472
by Daniel Bamford,Year 5, Heap Bridge Clicking the shiny pink and blue button on my machine which is as tiny as a baby pea growing in a glowing pod. Switching the shiny purple handle which is as shiny as a polished sun. The gargantuan string on my machine is as gigantic as the universe spaced out 1, 000, 000, 000 times. Roaring, the whirling white and red motor is as giant as gargantua mixed 1, 000, 000 times. My machine has a gingerbread head and wheels, and it runs on batteries. My machine also has a Spiderman head and a muscular Spiderman arm. It clones people to do things for them. It grabs people and puts them on the other side of the road.
THE SNACKATRON 3000
by Cordelia Slaughter, Year 5, St. Margaret’s
BRUSH BOT 2000
by Billy Denby, Year 5, St. Margaret’s
The Super Sweeper 1.1! by Lily Pullan,Year 5, Our Lady and St Paul’s
The cogs on my machine are made from thick, strong wood. The two huge buttons that are bright red and shiny are made from plastic. The drum on my machine spins faster than the speed of sound and when it spins it spins the sweeping brush around so it sweeps the floor. The wheels on my machine are made from metal and are trolley size. When you push it it glides along the floor. There are eight wheels. The handle on my machine is made from tough wood. There is a dirt collector to put the rubbish in. There is a plank of tough wood on top of the wheels to protect the things on top. There is a plastic box to put the brush in. A metallic hand comes out and pushes it for you and it brings out chocolate brownies.
The Cupcake Shooter QX2000
by Sophie Clark,Year 4, Our Lady and St Paul’s
The code on my machine only works for me and my best friends. The escape pod on my machine is made of aluminium and only works if you say the pass-code. The shoots on my machine are faster than Willy Wonka on roller blades. The sounds on my machine are louder than a rocket going to the Ancient tomb of loo loo the lion on Mars. The springs on my machine are bouncier than the bounciest trampoline in the world. The remote that comes with my machine is more clever than the cleverest person in the universe. The wheels on my machine are smoother than the smoothest rubber on Earth.
DON’T SPEND A LOT 8002x8 by Dylan Russell,Year 5, Heap Bridge
Roaring, the screaming, gargantuan motor is as loud as a lion annoyed by a pack of hyenas. The strong forcefield on my machine is made from the strongest metal in the world. Clicking, the lever on my machine you push the right hand side it shoots money. My machine moves by guinea pigs in a wheel scurrying around the old streets of Darnhill. My machine benefits adults from spending money and does your shopping and buys a new car also gets you a new home and new furniture. The cloner on my machine clones you if you don’t want to play out.
THE PERSONAL ASSISTANT 10.679 by Ellie Skorzewski, Amy Bird, Danaé Grizzle, Kaysha Haughton,Year 5, Heap Bridge
Our marvellous, magnificent machine has been designed to assist you with your everyday routines. It washes, dries and irons your clothes quicker than your usual working machine. It helps you get dressed at just the touch of a button. Using the ultra HD screen it can select the most suitable for any occasion. The trusty engineering is so reliable that if it breaks down we’ll give you your money back, and a brand new machine. The qualities of our machine: The sparkling red seat is comfier than the cushion on the Queen’s throne. The touch screen is more high tech than the security for the Crown Jewels. Our pads to stand on are comfier than £1,000,000 memory foam matresses. Our laundry ramps can clean and dry clothes faster than Usain Bolt sprinting 100m! The high tech dressing arms are as warm as a sauna.
The Walker Runner Flyer 6000 by Joshua Johnston,Year 4, Our Lady and St Paul’s
The levers on my incredible machine are as manoeuvrable as a remote control car. It can move forward, backward, side to side, and can run and fly. It is 12 foot and is black and blue. The sponge is on the foot to protect the roads. The wires on my machine are as stretchy as an elastic band. The sound of the stomps can be heard from China and it looks like a transformer.
HAPPY
by Hannah Petrie,Year 5, Heap Bridge Rolling, the pinball is as shiny as a gold medal, glimmering in the moonlight. My pinball dances to the cute Baby monkeys, playing the piano. It runs off gorgeous green mint choc chip Ice-cream and has to be fed every day and every night. The Ice-cream is as cold as a freezer top on Snowflake falls. The lights on my machine are as bright and as powerful as the tiny northern star, shining over the pitch black tarmac road. The savoury sweets on my machine are as tasty as Chinese, reflecting off the monkeys eyes, hoping not to be eaten. The butterfly on my machine controls the band of monkeys, telling them what keys to press and making the pinball dance quicker and quicker. The wheels on my machine are footballs, and they are pink like fluffy candyfloss. It makes people happy. My machine is battery powered and will race down Darnhill as fast as a race car. My machine is connected with wires and spits out sweets.
SWEET MACHINE
by Jessie Kilcourse,Year 5, Heap Bridge Kaboom, the powerful, ferious, tools are as fierce as a rolling thunderstorm on a horrible January’s day. The flying, colourful, amazing paintballs splat out on the residents of Darnhill and spits paint on the crumbled, grey streets of Darnhill. Ding, the blue bell with green spot’s roars out music (Happy music) which means gummybears, Strawberry laces, blue bomboms and starburst are going to shoot out the machine. The shiny spookes on the wheel are multi-coloured and whenever it moves it looks like a firework. My machine works and moves on blue water power. My machine helps poor people when they’re hungry, whilst feeding them sweets.
Rain Watcher
by Josh Ennis,Year 7, Siddal Moor No-one likes the rain so every time it rains people aren’t as happy as when it is 20 degrees. Someone would have a switch to toggle rain, sun or even snow. Sometimes you would need to have the rain turned on because there could be a bush fire in Australia and that would help the fire fighters get the fire out.
BLISSFUL DREAMS
by Maha Hafeez, Year 8, Holy Family
CAMPING COAT
by Leah Pomfret,Year 8, Holy Family
THE BRUSH MOP 360
by Acacia Barron,Year 5, St Margaret’s
KEY FINDERMATIC 3000
by Rebecca Freeman,Year 5, St. Margaret’s
Feed The People by Charles Almond, Year 7, Siddal Moor The tomatoes are from a sourced farm on Mars. The dough is from a pizzeria on the fanciest planet ever. The furnace is powered by an extract of a lava monster. The reds are the blood of a time traveller’s dragon. Its 10 jets are heavier than an uber-elephant
Happy Exciting 9000 Super Food Making Machine!
by Harry James, Kyra Jackson, Cody Clark and Kayden Cunningham,Year 6, Heap Bridge It has been designed to make any kind of food or drink you could wish for. This machine will change yours and others lives for the better. It will save you money as you can make anything at the touch of a button or the flick of a switch. It runs on a solar powered battery giving out enough power for ever. The machine will start by pulling a lever that is the size of a pen. This powers the cogs which are matte black and as sharp as a tiger sharks teeth. While the machine is making something, there will be a piano playing music and the piano is powered by the razor sharp cogs. The string is attached to the chain. It is as long as the perimeter of the sun and is tied to it is impossible to undo. The chain on our machine powers the cogs to make the piano play. As the cogs turn this sounds a bell the size of a pencil and is as loud as trucks from the planet ZogBerg. The pad to put the code into, to select the type of food is on top of the cooking pod. The code is 1234, it will be printed onto it so everyone can try out this amazing new machine.
THE CHOREOMATIC MODEL 3D55
by Isaac Howarth, Ralph Fletcher, Luke Harrison & Kate Perrin,Year 6, Heap Bridge Do you find chores boring? Then why not buy the Chore-o-matic model 3DS5. This brand new exciting machine has been designed to help you with your everyday needs. Not only does it help you with your chores, there are many exclusive features which cannot be found anywhere else on the planet. The chore-o-matic has four amazing functions that can change your life for the better. All of the functions are unique like the time travel, cloning, chore and the Homework function, there are endless possibilities and benefits that this machine could bring to your life.
Time travel is only one of the designs on our machine. The clearing zone is used to clear up the rubbish of anything you need to tidy up. Once you place it in the clearing zone, press a dial and it vanishes to either: past, future, BC, AD, Space, another dimension, vortex, parallel space, pocket universe or paradox, but be careful you don’t press the self destruct button! Another feature of the chore-o-matic is cloning. This design is helpful in many ways, such as: going to school, going to meetings and being grounded. The homework feature is an exceedingly good design; it can get you out of doing boring homework. It has an efficient knowledge of maths; it has a good mind with literacy and all the other supjects too! Another feature of the Chore-o-Matic is Chores (of course). It can make your bed, clean, iron, and wash anything at the speed you require. Each function is equipped with the ejector seat.
THE FOOTBALLINATOR
by Elicia Kennedy,Year 8, Holy Family
MOBILE HAIRDRESSERMATIC 600 by Destiny Gunning,Year 5, St Margaret’s
www.tellusanotherone.org www.cartwheelarts.org.uk
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