You would still have Me... (Sent 13/5/2010)
July 2nd 1999 was a starry Friday night amidst the usual hustle and bustle of the University campus, and the boy sat at his desk with his books open in front of him. Looking out the student hall reading room he watched the regular scene as girls, guys and cars shoved together for attention amidst the dazzle of lights, cacophony of horns and music players... but he could barely see or hear all this... His mind was far removed... He saw a group of people with their Bibles rushing where he knew was fellowship for the Friday night vigil and he looked away quickly, biting his lip and struggling to hold back the tears, he looked into his books trying to read but could barely see the words... they were all a jumbled blur to him... Gosh, it’s only a week and a half left to tests and I barely know what these courses are all about he thought... He looked again at the scene outside but instead could see a seemingly far away time when it seemed all had come together for him... God cared about him... He spent all the time he had with God and he gave all and served at fellowship even to the detriment of his studies... Maybe my past is catching up on me he thought... it all seemed too good to be true anyway... How could God forgive me all that... Perhaps the Lord has shown them my past... what I really am instead of who they thought I was... Amidst these thoughts he remembered the Presence of God welling over him in great big waves... he remembered the love and the intense peace when he said yes Jesus, come into my heart you are now Lord over my life... he remembered the smiles and fellowship of the believers as they worshipped God together, evangelized together and studied the Word together and the tears came streaming down uncontrollably as with an embarrassed look he gathered up his books, walked out of the reading room and the short distance to his car.
He sat in it for a while looking around, switched on the ignition and drove around for a while when he remembered the past... He thought about this for a while and finally decided... no one cares about me anyway what is the point... he took the left turn away from the hustle and bustle unto Access Road and steered the car towards the University back gate and then began to think... What if they aren’t there anymore... I’ve got to get my mind away somehow...
He parked, got out the car and rapped on the door softly thinking “Is the code word still the same?” Someone answered and he mentioned Mo fe ra ewa (Yoruba language meaning I want to buy beans)... Without a word, the man delivered two wraps of marijuana and the boy smiled gosh some things never change, after all this time it even still costs the same... Cradling these wraps like some long lost child he walked back to the car and began the drive back to the University, took the turn into the Health Centre and parked... everywhere looks deserted enough... He sat for a while looking at the Nursery school he attended and shook his head... If they knew how I would turn out they would never have even bothered... He remembered the day he played so hard at break time, he forgot his classroom and had to be re-assigned to another one... He remembered how he showed off to the other kids he could eat lots of hibiscus flowers and laughed softly to himself forgetting his pain for a moment... Reality came rushing back when he took one of the wraps lit it and began to inhale deeply... Now they have something to talk about he thought as the occasional car would drive by and little reservations crept up about someone recognizing his car and coming for a closer inspection... he thought about all the fun they would get out of this, how they would tear him down further and preach against him from the pulpit... Shaking the thoughts out, he inhaled deeply and then the effects began to weave into his body slowly... his eyes dimmed into slits and his mind wandered away as he began to smile... he looked up at the tree above his car and could see funny shapes that amused him... I don’t need them he thought... but thinking further he then said softly, but I need Him... between drags he apologised to God, thanked Him for the weed and lit the other one when suddenly an intense peace and Presence with a wave of emotion coursed over him and he cried out loud “Who else will I have in the world?”, and that still small Voice that said follow me, said “You would still have Me Temisan...”.
He spoke to me even though I was a Christian high on Marijuana!! His words of love carried the power within them to deliver me from the feelings of rejection and depression the enemy tried to use to rope me back into the past... That guy is long gone now glory to God!!! This guy doesn’t need to get high on weed anymore or anything else at all in order to get rid of worry, doubts, fears or depression because he is connected to the Most High! ....and so are you....
“There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of
the Most High”.
–
Psalm 46:4 AMP
“So
now
there
is
no for
condemnation those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit
has freed you from the power
of sin that leads to death... And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to
become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, He called them to come to Him. And having called them, He gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He gave them His glory. What shall we say about such wonderful things
If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since He did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for His own? No onefor God Himself has given us right standing with Himself. as these?
Who then will condemn us? No one- for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and He is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep”.) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that
nothing
can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death
nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.
nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:1, 2, 28 -39 NLT No power in the sky above or in the earth below- indeed,
God loves you regardless of everything you have been through or ever will... Pick yourself up... Get into His Word... Don’t give up now, you are better than this... your best days are ahead of you!
Keep strife far away from you... Don't be offended at anybody for any reason or wait for someone else to walk in love towards you but ensure your heart is clear before God and we can all always count on you to do right by us all the time, because Jesus promised that He and the Father would come and make their abode with you when you abide in Him and His Words abide in you like this...
The promise that you can have what you say when you pray is conditional on our forgiving others if we have anything against them as we see in the next verses after Mark 11:22 – 24... when we forgive, what we are actually doing is letting ourselves out of a prison of fear, and allowing the Power of God to go into operation in our lives... every single one of us needed forgiveness from God... and the reality of un-forgiveness is you allow those people to hurt you all over again, even if you haven’t seen or heard anything about them in years... this requirement to have an instantly forgiving heart finds expression particularly in marriage relationships and in your family, because it is very easy to just avoid work colleagues or strangers that offend you, but you cannot avoid your family...
Please reconcile, and if they won’t be reconciled then leave them to Jesus, only put in a good word before the Father for them on a regular basis because trust me, they need it much more than you can realise... and you will be blessed in your deed.
Your brother In Christ, Temisan
“...You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavour? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. You are the light of the world-like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father...” – Jesus Christ (Matthew 5:13 – 16) New Living Translation