Ask Alfred and Charles

Alfred and Charles are retired professors of life. They have done it all and seen it all. Though they may be decrepit in age, they are all too eager to give advice, be it for better or worse, to you. They may not agree on everything, but they do always have something to say. If you have an inquiry for our distinguished wise men, please send an email to opinion@ufvcascade.ca or drop by The Cascade office when it is open to leave a handwritten note for them.

by Washington Reimer

Dear Alfred and Charles, I’m looking to move out of my family’s home. I’ve never lived on my own and don’t know if I should find roommates or not. If I look for roommates, where do I even find them? Please help! I need advice to help me move out.

Sincerely,

Anywhere But Home

Dear Anywhere But Home, First of all, thanks for writing to these two old coots! My first roommate was actually Charles. I remember moving out of my childhood home and into a tiny apartment with Charles. I hear it’s quite expensive to be living on your own these days, so perhaps you should start by finding a good mate of yours to live with.

~Alfred

Learn from my mistakes kid. If you're going to get a flatmate, be sure to really question them first. Also short term lease is key! That way if you have the tragic misfortune to get a mate that never does the dishes, leaves their laundry about, or decides they want to learn to yodel at two in the morning, then you're not stuck with them for a year, or in my case life. Just be smart, and consider what could go wrong. Lastly, reevaluate if your parents are so bad that you're willing to risk the aforementioned.

~Charles

I’m not sure why you are confessing to never doing the dishes, laundry, or your peculiar yodeling hobby, but go right ahead, Charles. However, Charles is right, do be careful about who you choose to room with as it can always be an adventure if you weren’t previously pals. I got lucky since despite Charles’ flaws, he is quite entertaining and the yodeling got better over the years.

~Alfred know the identity of writers; some wrote under pseudonyms.

In regards to teaching poetry and prose, Hart does not have a preference. She said that she loves surprising students and introducing them to literary things they may have not seen or thought about before. She loves the challenge embedded in poetry teaching, as lots of students lack confidence in writing about poetry.

Hart too remembers moments when she was a student and she read something that blew her away. She feels lucky to be in a job where she can see that happening to the students, when they get blown away themselves, whether it is in response to poetry or prose. opinion@ufvcascade.ca

When asked what advice she would give to students who are hoping to get a master’s or PhD in English, Hart says that these students should find something to study that they are genuinely interested in learning about.

Emmaline Spencer — Opinion Editor

The world’s best flatmates, Alfred and Charles

Dear Alfred and Charles,

It’s been about a month since classes started and I already find myself losing motivation. I feel like seasonal depression is still lingering on my brain and can’t quite seem to break free of it. Do you have any tips to help me keep focused on studying?

Sincerely, Look A Squirrel

Dear Look A Squirrel, You know what? That really salts my cucumber when I hear young folks such as yourself complain about these things. Back in my day we didn’t have seasonal-whad-ya-call-its. But I’ll tell you how to break free from most bad headspaces. The trick is to distract my friend. Anything fun that’ll make you forget your woes. As the young folks say “Netflix and chips.” Nothing better for cheering up I hear. As for studying, maybe try to watch academic themed stuff when you're eating those chips and doing the Netflix.

~Charles

Distraction isn’t always the best policy. If you find yourself getting overly distracted, try setting a timer on your phone and setting it aside, don’t look or use the phone until the timer goes off.

Working in small intervals without your phone will make it easier to stay focused on the task at hand. Try to aim to study for 15-30 minutes at a time rather than do long haul study periods. Remember to take breaks for food and water!

~Alfred

You sound sensible, my dear Alfred. If I remember correctly you always were a good study. You used to put chocolate squares or cookies on your desk, only allowing yourself the reward after reading a page or two. Never understood treating yourself like a dog this way but it must have worked since you always did better than me. And what was that pavlovian method you tried with that horrid egg timer? You know. The one where you would study for 40 minutes then it would ring, and then you’d pace around the flat, or turn on the telly, or whatever else for 20 minutes until it would ring again. It used to drive me nuts!

~Charles

Was it really that obnoxious, Charles? It worked well though. Also, I think you meant the pomodoro method. Maybe I should have made you do it with me back then… I also did the pavlovian technique of giving myself a little reward when I did well in my studies. The combined effort worked swell!

~Alfred

Happy exams, Alfred and Charles

Emmaline Spencer — Opinion Editor