the Cascade Volume 4 Issue 7 1997-01-17

Vol. 4No. 7/Jan

17,

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In This Issue: News - Page 3

Sports- Pages 4 The University

College of the Fraser Valley Student Newspaper

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A2 The Cascade

Volume 4 Issue No. 7

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• Brave New World Sowe're all back at the insti-

UCFV Student Newspaper RoomA219a 33844 King Rd. Abbotsford,

B.C. V2S 7M9 854-4529 853-4076 (fax) Email: Cascade@ucfv.bc.ca Staff: Paul Becker, Editor in Chief Christ Clarke, Managing Editor

Contributors: Nolan Webb Ron Dart Simon Langeler Len Catling Teresa Hampel Steve Tait Jacob Curley Ian Lusher David Wyatt Lisa Chew NaelaAslam Shawn Stetsko Mark Schuster Greg Mohart Chris Terepocki Rob Clarke Donna Lovett

Centre. Or as I like to call it "The tution for a second semester of high- Money Pit Of Ignorance, Inefficiency priced texts (for some classes), and all and Bureaucracy". Here we have a the rest of the culture that comes with highly used valuable room full of com. post-secondary mstitutions.

Let ,s en- puters, complete with internet access ter the world of positive and negative and all those other goodies. Oh yeah, commentary; I have some things to say. note the first line of CPU's with the Issue l: Employees Of the Univer- signsreadingOUTOFORDER. These sity College are the MacIntosh's that UCFV, not I have to salute the majority of First Heritage Credit Union (thanks for the faculty and staff at UCFV for their the help Mr. Warawa), paid for. I esticontinued approach to teaching. When mate the cost of those unused computI say teaching I don't specifically re- ers at being somewhere in the neighfer to simple lecturing or simple mark- bourhood of$ 15,000.00. Since I have ing, or helping with student loan in- used this figure before without being formation, or fulfillment of degree re- corrected, I would assume it is underquirements, but that overall approach estimated. This conspiracy concept to helping student's time at University- would make sense, as we have been College involve a real sense of com- corrected by everyone on the names of munity. the lab but never once in this whole It seems to me that the lives that fiasco have the prices been quoted. It we all lead are becoming more and is quite plausible that the damn Macs more self-involved and specific. Un- cost even more! familiarity breeds fear, unstablity and Imagine this conversation: self-loathing. Most professors and staff Authority 1: Holy Shit! That idiot treat students like the adults we all are, Becker thinks the Macs only cost 15 and thus, we should treat them with grand. Man if he only knew, heh, heh equal respect. We are lucky enough to (looks out on the horizon). be able to know each other on a first- Authority 2: What the hell will we do name basis while bigger institutions if he asks? become increasing individualistic, and Authority 1: Are you kidding? Have you ever read his other stuff? That guy breed introversion.

Issue 2: The Institute For The Sloth- does little to no research into his facts?

Authority 2: Wicked! We can get away ful Flip the switch, polarization in with this nonsense for over a year. the negative now and guess what the Authority 1: Damn rights, now what is topic of discussion is? The First Herit- some lame authoritative gesture we age Credit Union Computer Access --could intiate to control even more of the lab?

Photographers: Shannon Watt Nolan Wbb

Dear Editor, I have had enough!!! Ever since the First Herit_agelab has opened, there has been a bias in regards to the effort and support the staff of this institution has put forth in respect to the operating systems being used. I am, of course, referring to the availability of functional Macintosh computers in a practical application. While the Mac's are in fact quite useful in some regards, faster than the Pentiums to surf the net, and validate email accounts... there still remains no practical applications for the use of students for word-processing.

Having first raised the questions of the commitment of the staff to provide software for the Macs, and then enduring Terry Cox's remarks as to the integrity of my actions in trying to obtain some sort of reliable and viable answers ... I find myself needing to ask the same questions again, a full year later!

Where is the software, Mr. Cox? Why haven't the Macintosh's received the support they require in order to remain a functional and useful part of an otherwise fine computer lab? How long has your supplier kept feeding you tentative dates for this process to be complete? Have you considered ever using the student newspaper, through the posting of news releases, to keep

I could answer that one. Anybody notice the new convenience store mirrors at the far wall? This is presumably to keep an eye on the wouldbe-voyeurs who access the more graphic-heavy area of the Internet. Or it is also to keep an eye on those damn bastards who play doom with each other ....they are a serious threat to the integrity of the lab.

In any event, whether the: is a secret cabal or we are experiencing a great amount of ignorance, the matter remains that six computers are unusable and nothing is being done about it. Previous explanations have said that software was on order and would soon be installed. Reliable sources said that the software hadn't been ordered until just before Steve Tait's article appeared in Issue 2 Vol 4 of the Cascade. Someone isn't doing their job, and I don't think that it is the Computer Monitors.

So who is in charge?

It is getting quite close to the time that radical action will be required in order for this matter to come to a close. And that is all we would like for those in charge of the lab to give us--closure. Get the Macs up and running! If they came out of the UCFV budget you are wasting our money and we grow tired of your monopoly on inefficiency..... , With my arms crossed, . Paul Becker Editor In Chief

Letters to the Editor the student body informed ... and if so, why have you not?

These questions need answers, and can no longer be hidden behind rhetoric ... the time has come for serious inquiry. Hopefully, other members of the student body and faculty of this institution are as tired this situation as lam.

Kudos, to the Cascade for it's constant failing grades to said department for the lack of commitment to addressing and correcting the concerns of the student body. Regardless of how small our voice may seem, there is always the chance that someone who CAN and WILL do something about this matter, who will hear the rumble of thunder from the storm approaching on the horizon.

"Boy, you better check your list... for

guerrillas in the mist" - Consolidated Back and on the attack, Douglas Bull

Dear editor, I am writing in regard to a series of posters which I recently noticed throughout the campus. These posters presented statistics which address the topic of violence against women.

While on the surface the posters in question appeared informative, they seemed to suggest that the issue was not the fact that violence is unacceptable but rather that violence against women was unacceptable. I found such an inferred message to be troubling and I felt compelled to speak out.

I hold the position that violence by one individual towards another is

intolerable, period. The race, sexual orientation, gender, or age of the victim are inconsequential.

This is not to say that, with respect to gender, women are not at greater risk of becoming victims of violence. Nor is it meant, in any way, to condone or justify that violence.

It is far and away time for us, both as individuals and as a collective society, to take a stand on violence. It is a universal problem that affects all of us. While the motives of those responsible for the posters may have been well meaning, they only serve to undermine efforts to achieve a united front for equality and progressive social change.

Mike Anderson

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CascadeReportCard To Donna Lovett for fixing the filing cabinet in the Cascade office

A To IMS; I'm not even sure what to say anymore. A shipping order that has taken a year and a half?

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The Cascade

Jan 17, 1996A3

D1llfl

Curlywack Meets The President "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go along!"

-Indianalones, (Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark)

£ There is an unavoidable rarefaction of authority figures, I guess.

Having been around the college almost three years, I remember asking the chief, "Who's Peter Jones?" Sometimes, rarefaction goes over into obscurity. Heck, I didn't even know, till recently, that a college would have a president. Anyway, he seemed like he was worth talking to. So since I had a couple of questions, and he keeps hours in room I 02 in the motel of the Chilliwack campus on Thursday mornings, I sought him out.

I asked immediately about the Macs in the First Heritage great computer hall in the Abbotsford library building, he didn't know what I was talking about, but he said he'd look into why they're "out of order." I asked him

about the last year, and what he thought was memorable about it. He told me that he was really quite pleased with the progress being made in certain departments of UCFV. This is one of the only schools on this side of the country that offers a bachelor's of aviation, and adult education (nursing and sociology are of particular pride to him as well). This sort of thing is what makes a school a mainstay in the university network, we are becoming the most attractive conduit for certain areas of education on a national scale. Uniqueness and specialization are key words in UCFV's development. Good stuff. Maybe we don't have to feel all sheepish about going to just a little old university college, and not a beer-swilling sorority city like UBC, or Acadia University.

Then Dr. Jones told me all about the budget cuts.

There is also a freeze on the phase 3 of development of the Chilliwack campus. It seems that the college is only being allotted the same amount of money this year as last year, even though costs have risen by about 4%.

Because of collective bargaining for instructors being basically forced on the schools by the government side, the salary ladder for university instructors has been pushed upwards throughout the province by 1.8%; at the same time, teachers that were here last year are automatically being given a raise of 2% out of a kind of seniority system. The way I understand it, then: my favorite teachers from last year are getting a 3.8% increase in salary. Plus there's a bit of inflation going on right now. On top of all this, guys like me are trying to figure out ways to swindle $50.00 out of Student Activities, say it's for a History Discussion Club, and buy beer with the money (this will be in Chilliwack, watch for posters). The new Chilliwack building is delayed because the Clark Government messed up the budget.

If anyone can remember B.C. having a premier that didn't get promptly despised as a screw up, let me know about it, it would hearten me greatly.

You can contact me through the Cascade office in Abbotsford, or find me doing lunges, 100 meter dashes, and

Ron Dart Speaks Out On Christianity ~

RonDart's presentation

~ on "Liberal Christianity," the third in UCFV's series on "Reli-~ gious Experience-B.C. Style," Q was as much a comment on Evan£ gelical Christianity as a description of its "opposite."

Speaking at Trinity Western University the evening of December 4, Dart pointed out the "button issues" which divide Christians, including the Bible vs. the church tradition, "'sj

family values vs. global issues, and Evangelism vs. building a community of religions.

However, Dart rejected the notion of two warring tribes, each claiming to be true Christians, and the popularlabel-slinging which demonizes all Evangelical Christians as "Fundamentalists" and all liberal Christians as "secular humanists" or "New Agers."

He noted the conservative parts of Christian liberalism and the liberal nature of Evangelical Christianity.

Liberal Christians are conserva-

tive, says Dart, in that they wish to preserve tradition. They've been called "mainstream," and Dart feels there is a stream of tradition which can nourish Christians and has neither dried up nor been tainted. A member of St. Mattew's parish, he sees tradition continuing in the "cosmic drama" of Angelican services, as "swimming in history." Unfortunately, he says, Evangelicals sometimes look back to the past more than they continue it, and their memories may be faulty. They've forgotten Christians like Bonaventure

forward rolls at the Chilliwack campus. Another little problem we have is the leaky library in Chilliwack. We've got plastic tarps over all the bookcases, making it look like the Anthropology department is reserving books again, all of them this time. So, thinking "This is what Charlton Heston would do," I said to Dr. Jones that I would raise pledges and do a "Run for the Roof," much like my "Run for the CBC," which was foiled by weather, a cold, exams, and the fact that hardly anybody other that myself and Chris Teripocki cared about the CBC. Dr. Jones smiled benignly like you smile when you see your baby cousin probing the soft part of the top of her newly born head. Roof repairs are going to cost about a million dollars. Okay, never mind. I hope this one sorts itself out. He's in the process of finding money to patch it up. I've got an idea for him though. It's funny how you never think of these things 'till later!

Why don't we dip lightly into the school's coffers and buy a couple hundred rolls of Saran Wrap? We could probably get it cheap through Foresters.

and Hildegaard of Bingen, while 16th century Puritanism has become so much a part of Evangelicals forget they remember it!

While Evangelicals believe themselves to be rebuilding the original church, Dart says they've embraced the liberal values which have shaped the modern world: individual autonomy, free enterprise in the market and the pulpit, history as progress.

Evangelicals recognize that these values can become obsessions-a parent's

Continued on Page 9

Students Will Pay More In So~e English 105 Sections :... J

~

n a time of economic ~ hardship- like today's average :':: university situation can be ~ called-any outrageous exCl... penses can throw up alarm sig£ nals in students. The economic burden of post-secondary has reached a point that must have made Glen Clarke and his inner team recognize one simple fact: "we aren't looking like the good guys here."

Hence, the tuition freeze. Our savings accounts relaxed slightly, content with the knowledge that we only had to pay the same amount we paid the previous year.

So one morning this week I was sitting in the Great Han and I caught half a conversation concerning the costsofbooksforanEnglish 105class.

The professor, Allan McNeil! (Head Of The English Department), was listing five books for the course. The total for these required texts: $138.40. The cost of the course: $127 .02. It seemed strange to me that the books were more expensive than the course, so I did a little research.

Of all the English 105 sections offered in Abbotsford, McNeill's is the most expensive course by at least $50.00. John Carroll's English 105 costs $65.45, while another professor's (Cawker) calls for a total of $55.00 worth of books. I was unable to find Cawker's last required text, so we should add an additional $15.oo to stay safe, it was after all, a reader. Alan McNeil! pointed out that he is asking students to buy a dictionary (worth $24.50), which will be useful in future classes. Granted, a dictionary is useful to students in the future, but to all students? As English 105 is basically mandatory to all that enter UCFV, it is logical to assume that it may be the first and last English course taken by those not in the Liberal Arts. That is not to say that Science students don't need dictionaries, but when I was in Chemistry, Dr. Martin gave me a periodic table of the elements ... and if I bought one, I didn't have to get the same table as everyone else. But, maybe I am being unfair...

This situation does not simply represent one professor not paying at-

tention to the needs of students but the ignorance involved in Department planning for courses. English 105 is not a course that changes drastically between professors, and thus it seems a little ridiculous that because you happen to be in Allan McNeill's English 105, you are paying an markedly extra amount. I noticed that one of the textbooks used by McNeill was his own.

This is perfectly understandable, but I wonder if it becomes redundant when utilized with two other texts with titles that border on semantics. This situation is uncalled for.

What makes the matter worse is that there seems to be new texts for the same bland course every semester, with a few exceptions. I noted that Lisa Storozynsky is still using the same texts that she had me purchase two years ago, which means I could potentially re-sell those texts to new students saving them even more money. Meanwhile, other professors keep switching, granting the general student body with texts that will go unopened after they fulfill the English requirement.

McNeill was receptive enough to my inquiry but declined to leave me a quote. In the end, students are left holding the bill in a lack of consideration of their needs. Let's face facts: English 105 is not the most enlightening course and it is generally treated with the same enthusiasm as a visit to the Grade 9 health nurse for inoculation for measles or some other strange thing. Is it really necessary for each and every section to have radically different-priced textbooks or could we not see some standardization accomplished by the department? Maybe I'm getting a little out of my league but when I pay less in two semesters for textbooks for an upper-level Political Theory course, while my friend gets taken to the cleaners for a simple prerequisite to everything, thing's aren't being looked after properly.

But at least students will always be able to keep a few textbooks on their shelves at home, well after the lessons those books were aimed at have been learned. And it will only cost a little more than the actual course .....

A4 The Cascade

Volume 4 Issue No. 7

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Blues Pay Their Dues: UCFV Einerges Winner In Close Match :....

With some players not half. playing 100% the Cascade And that's how the game went. ~ WomenFightToothAndNailFor UCFV couldn't buy a bucket in the first A Well-Deserved Win. half, and it depended on the post play~ ers like Donna Lovett(6 pts/6 re~ Q._ ominous quiet of bounds), Sara Hambleton (5 pts) and £ the Capilano College gymna- Martha Craig to pick up the boards (8). sium was almost oppressive, and Martha Craig (17 pts)had an unusually I tried as best as possible not to weak game with many missed lay-ups laugh as the Capilano Blues completed . I was especially shocked, as I have their apparantly traditional pre-game seen this particular player take others scream. It suffices to say that I didn't to school in the past. But, everyone find it altogether motivating to see a has their bad games .... except for huddle of women screaming at the Gillian Kirk. "Jizz" was ferocious on floor; some of them were half-bent defense and came up with a few big over in an attempt to squeeze out as shots that were desperately needed at loud of a cry as possible. The Cascades certain moments (9 pts). in contrast were quietly encircled by Nicole Schubert is back on task their own arms in a last minute talk. with surgical jump shots and tough This provided a good example defense providing many steals ( 13 of the two teams different style. pts.). She secured the play of the night Capilano had a few incredibly strong by jumping out-of-bounds for a ball, post players with the remainder of the throwing it over her shoulders and team vying for back-up star status. A landing on the Capilano coach's lap. team of individuals that knew how to What was interesting was that Schubert pass, Capilano came out stronger than had the presence of mind to immediatly UCFV in the first half, with aggressive look back at the floor to find her deplay and bulky post-work. UCFV, in fensive match. Pure basketball playcontrast wasn't relying on any one ing. Plain and simple. player for this game and the work load Amber Mytting had some nice was spread out quite evenly. The arms shots although they made me stop around each other was quite symbolic breathing as Am"buehler" has a shot in that it demonstrated how the women that lacks arc but makes up for in actake up the slack for each other in times curacy (6 pts). Krista Harris was all of need. Coach Sandy Chambers has "style" in the second half, stealing the bred a high-grade team of survivors, ball numerous times and scoring when able to come back hard in the second

i

=::

The

the deed needed to be done (5 pts).

Harris has lightning fast no-look passes that have more than enough mustard on them, rather than the weaker Capilano guards who simply sucked. Other contributors to the Cascades scoring were Here's a strange incident: the quickest guard for the Blues was a small 5'2 women who started barking like a dog when one of the Cascades was shooting free throws. What the hell? Was that some stupid form of distraction? It was much to my liking when later that same player had to shoot crucial free-throws and she missed. Here's the best part: no one made a sound. She was that horrible.

'All bark, no bite', I muttered to myself causing other spectators to look at me with a bit of aversion.

In the last ten minutes of the game, the Cascades came on heavy, causing the clumsy Capilano posts to lose the ball many times while Doggirl and the rest of the Blues backcourt simply did not have the gumption to really challenge UCFV. The stealing and scoring increased leaving a large point margin for UCFV to sit back and rest on for the dying moments of the game.

Final Score 63-57.

Capilano College Blues return to their bench (or kennels), and UCFV chalks up another W. That leaves the team

BCCCCAA WeeJk 5 Standings

:....

Facing yet another league loss, the men found their game ~ and began the long uphill task of ~ securing a playoff berth ...

-~ £

If

the Capilano Blues

Men's team thought they were facing a team with the same wishy-washy record that they themselves possessed, they probably assumed that the Cascades weren't a team that could win big. True, the Cascades have a record that is less than pleasing, which will make the second half of the season a difficult undertaking, but the team had spent the winter break playing down South in Oregon and Washington, slowly but surely shedding off the remnants of individual ego and style to become a sleek and stream-lined team. Finally, I sighed to myself as I sat back and took in an excellent performance on all accounts.

The Capilano gym is peculiarly quiet, allowing alert geeks like myself the chance to hear what each coach told their respective team. I believe the Blues were discussing the height advantage the Cascades held over them as I remember "You can take the tall guy, there no way in hell I am .. ".

Which made me wonder as the Cascades have 5 qualifiably tall guys. It

seemed like they were referring to Jake the "Stretch Cadillac" Curley, but it also could be Neal Cranna, that damn pillow thief. On the other hand it also could have been Chad "The Block" Yarwood. In any event, the unlucky individual didn't do their job as Curley dunked (l lpts/12 rebs), Cranna rebounded and did the garbage work (8pts/7 rebs), and Yarwood .....well he did a lot (16 pts/9 rebs). "The Block" has been coming on undeniably strong each game, this one being no exception. Numerous Capilano shots were sent flying at their own bench, causing the bench boys to duck, as the shooter hung his head in shame at such a BIG block. Chad was also able to create many shots, like Cranna, by simply sailing around in the traditionally stiff post position. Curley played just plain nasty, dunking, shooting and posting the ball into the hoop.

These three big men provided serious problems for the Capilano Blues, thanks to improved passing by the Cascade backcourt. Dan Turner showed little hesitation in either dishing or driving in on the hoop, an area where he is dwarved by the taller players. "DDT" Turner got it done ( 12 pts/ 7 rebs), nevertheless, and we even got some glimpses of that oh-so-smooth

three point shot. Someone removed Mike Lee's chip from his shoulder and gave him a boy scout pin as he played like a real point guard passing when it was necessary, moving the ball around and taking a few of the points for himself. Lee has improved drastically in the past month and deserves a tip'o'the cap (9 pts/2 rebs). Although he sored the opening point and a couple nice jumpers, Steve "Moxy" Cavenaugh was relatively quiet this evening (9 pts/ 2rebs), along with Wade "Redneck" Tamblyn (5 pts/1 reb). Mark Neill (6 pts/3 rebs) didn't play as much as I would have liked, but as always he was the hardest worker.

Head Coach Pat Lee and Assistant Coach Tom Antil have shown a cool patience with this team that I thought unwise at the beginning of the season but seems to be actually the best thing , and so I give them the 'skillz' sticker this week. Overall, the Cascades have essentially clicked as a cohesive unit, able to search and destroy other teams.

The Capilano Blues were down by 9 at the half and never really recovered from such the defecit, not to say they didn't try. The Cascades simply squeezed the life out of them by dismantling the Blues paint crew, and scoring on the weak guards. It was

w

Team

L

WOMEN Malaspina 9 UCFV 8 Douglas 5 Okanagan 5 • Capilano 5 Trinity 4 Cariboo 4 Langara 4 New Caledonia 1

0 1 4 4 4 5 5 5

8

MEN Malaspina Trinity Langara Douglas Cariboo UCFV New Caledonia Okanagan Capilano

9

0

8

1

6 5 4

3

4 5 3 6 3 6 3 6 3 6 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • undefeated in league play since their match against Malaspina, who will be coming to Heritage Park for the rematch this coming Friday night. We as a student body need to be there to give our Women a strong following.

This game is going to be the shit , so book your day-planners, write it on your calenders or tie a string around your finger because if you think my write-ups encapsulate the game you have watched too much television and your sense ofrealjty is slowly slipping away from you ..... see-ya there.

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Cascades Find Their Groove: A Tail Of Blocks, Dunks, and Victory i

As Of Jan 12

fodlii.viidl1U121ll IPnayer Rejport

According to British Columbia Colleges' Athletic Association Individual Statistics as of Week 5, Jan 12, 1997 ..... .

: : • ••

The Basketball program at UCFV recieves little to no student support in the way of fan support. in case you are all wondering how our players measure up in the league I have brought a few stats to the table.

Martha Craig is sixth in the league for rebounding at 7 .63 per game. As well, Craig is fourth in the league for scoring at 14.75 pts per game.

Jake Curley continues to claw his way around the rebound chart, showing up at third in rebounds with an average 9.89 per game ...

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Cascades the rest of the ride-film at 11. Final Sacre 78-59.

This coming weekend will be crucial for the men's team and so I cannot stress the importance ofUCFV students coming out to Mission and showing their support for our team. Check the listings, bring your seatbelt and hold on to somebody-this team is taking off.

The Cascade

Jan 17, 1996 A5

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E.L.M.O More Than Meets The E e?! .... ~~ ::s

C hristmas

1996, was

~ most memorable, for more reasons than one. From the worst blizzard in 75 years, to all those pre-Oscar movie releases, it will soon not be forgotten. As per usual, this festive season brought out the true nature in people.

This Christmas spirit was demonstrated most strikingly by the mass of over exposure of that cute, cuddly orange blob. Elmo that is! This most unassuming puppet of Sesame Street created anxiousness, anger, and tons of moola for the lucky few. Who would have thought that an Elmo could fetch up to $10,000 and more? Most of the Elmo's who sold at these ridiculous prices were for a good cause (Charitable Organizations), so Elmo in some way was a positive for all those organizations that were lacking funds.

But when greedy people started to put ads in the classifieds and de-

"t: ~

£

Christmas was good for Elmo manding astronomical sums of money, this was a sign that Elmo was no longer a toy, but something bigger. Maybe there was a hidden quality about this puppet, and his abbreviated name really stood for: Enigmatic Large Money Oracle.

The enigmatic part of Elmo refers to his more mysterious side. I mean, how did Elmo become more popular than Big Bird and the rest of the Sesame Street gang? And, why does Elmo always giggle and say "That tickles!"? The L stands for large, be-

cause afterall Elmo is quite pudgy and has got quite a belly. A few trips to Jenny Craig would do him a world of good! The third letter M defiantly stands for money, money, money!

Mattel, Elmo's maker, has been raking in big sums of moo la and has even had to produce more. I wonder how much an Elmo will be worth by this time next year? And finally the 0 stands for oracle. Elmo has only catapulted to fame by the media blitzkrieg that was bestowed on him, because they undoubtedly had nothing better to report on. In some ways, Elmo's stature reflects everything that North American capitalism is about, and that's scary if a puppet can do that!

Without a doubt, when Elmo was featured all chewed up by a K-9 on the "David Letterman Show" earlier this month, it signaled the demise of Elmo's fame. it will be certainly interesting to see what toy is the flavour of Christmas '97?! So stock up now on the next great fad!

A Pen Edged With Neurosis -.. t

W

HEN I WAS small, ~ entering those great institutions ~ .....,. OF KNOWLEDGE, I swore a secret oath to myself: I would NEVER, ever deface a book.

Fancying myself as the next up and coming National Geographic journalist, I could never understand how anyope could deface a magazine, newspaper, or even textbook. Just the thought of folding the

comer pages of books instead of using a book mark tore at the heart of my literary soul. However it was the act of writing on pages which seemed a carnal sin, at which, the very indulging in, struck terror into whatever journalist blood coarsed through my veins.

This NEUROSIS carried through with me from elementary readers, the adventures of Tim and Mac, to highscool textbooks, already sorely defaced. I cringed when I discovered

someone had underlined and wrote naughty words. Once I broke down when I saw Farley Mowatt staring back at me out of my Canadian History textbook with freshly inked horns. I despised this literary graffiti and loathed those who indulged in this cruel and base activity to pass time in boring classes. Lets face it, I was a librarian's prayer. I delighted in new books, fresh clean, crisp pages of pure unadulterated thoughts.

My first semester of college I was extremely careful with my books (besides half of them were borrowed from an older brother), nonetheless I refused to let myself fall prey to the bad habits of my peers. By the third semester, I taunted rebellion, flirted with pencils.

Not much, just a check mark here and a circle there- what were erasers for anyway? Yet, sometimes I was still disgusted with those pencil shadows-

Continued on Page 9

Uncle Sam I Am ... Not! Its David

versus Goliath.

One man versus a nation large in nuIT\beryet generalizably low in IQ. Recently Donovan Bailey, AKA "The Fastest Man In the World", has embarked on giantkilling once again. This time the contest has taken the form of a war of words rather than a competition showcasing power, strength, and, above all, speed. No doubt this quarrel will last longer than 9.83 seconds and will once again leave Canadians, perhaps others from afar as well, pondering the nauseating facets of American ideology.

Bailey - gold-medal holder, recent Canadian Press appointed "Athlete of the Year", speed demon, star of bad deodorant commercials - reacted quite emphatically when he learned that the Associated Press (the US Press) had as a whole not given him a single vote in their version of the "Athlete of the Year" award. Bailey responded by saying that "that is just total American ignorance." He added that "they (the Americans) think they are the world" and that "they (the Americans) have no idea what is going on in the rest of society."

In typical shown that a horse, fashion, Sports IlCigar, and pro lustrated has now wrestling "superidentified Bailey star" Rick Flair, as a loud mouth did receive votes.

Another important who is jealous of item to note is that Michael Johnson Michael Johnson because Johnson did receive votes in won this particuJar award.

Canadian Press Once again "Athlete of the the American meYear" award baldia, in this inloting. stance Sports 11A f t e r lustrated, has unraveling the c o mp l et e 1 y mudslinging bemissed the boat. .,_ ______________________ iiiiiii.l tween Bailey and For the the American merecord, Bailey Bailey at the 1996 Olympics dia one is comwas simply pointpelled to conclude ing out that it is totally pathetic that that this trivial spat is a small part of a not one member of the Associated much larger problem.

Press voting for the "Athlete of the The specter of the American ideYear" award would choose him. Not ology rears its ugly head once again. one member. Obviously Bailey would Canada and the world has been not expect to win that particular award unable to escape the United States at given that it is based in the United its egocentric worst once again. One States just as Johnson in no way could would think it time that the Americans expect to win the Canadian Press' or those who present the voice of "Athlete of the Year" award over Bai- America realize that it is actually posley. It is insulting to Bailey and to Ca- sible for someone who is not an Amerinadians in general that he did not re- can to be great at something. This selfceive a single vote while results have absorbed attitude has given a nation of

no doubt nice and friendly individuals the appearance of being nauseatingly arrogant. To be put bluntly, the American ideology, in this context, is totally and completely screwed and will continue to be as long as the American media maintain this overly nationalistic and isolationist stance.

Bailey's outspokenness on this matter is to be commended. Perhaps if the Americans are told enough times that they are not "all that" they will begin to believe it. Any nation that will believe the existence of a "magic bullet" or that anyone can grow up to be President surely will sooner or later come to the conclusion that their superiority is in their own minds.

Its time to grow up America.

Y'all hear that. It is time for Americans and the American media to develop a new ideology which is more in tune to the global 90s. No doubt if the United States and its people were to implement such a change we would not be forced to analyze such a trivial matter as the debate between Bailey and the American media. Change will definitely take longer than the 9.83 seconds Bailey took to whoop the American's ass, but for Canada's sake and the sake of the global community, the sooner the better.

A6 The Cascade

Volume 4 Issue No. 7

0

Happy Ratnadan ~

L is back to school time

~ ~ again and while many students

are getting over their holiday season, some students have just begun theirs. For millions of Muslims around the world, Friday, January 9, marked the beginning of the holy month of Ramadan. Muslims follow the lunar calendar which is based upon the phases of the moon.

Ramadan is the last month of the Islamic calendar and the end of this month marks the beginning of the Is-

Jamie New Year.

During the month of Ramadan, all Muslims, who are in good health or not traveling, are required to fast from dawn until sunset. This means abstaining from food and drink with the explicit intention of doing so for Allah. ( The Arabic word for God).

The fast of Ramadan is obligatory as it is one of the five pillars of Islam. The other four pillars are: testifying that there is no God or gods except Allah and that Muhammed is His last Messenger, the giving of alms (Zakat), and making a

pilgrimage to Mecca (Hajj).

Ramadan is a very joyous month for the Muslims because this is the month that God first sent the angel Gabriel down to Earth to visit the prophet Muhammed, so that Gabriel could impart the message on Allah's behalf. A small portion of the holy book of the Muslims, the Qu 'ran, was first revealed to Muhammed in this month.

Fasting during Ramadan exercises one's patience and teaches one to be thankful for what they have. By fasting, Muslims are given a chance to thank God for the many

Jan6-22---

INTHEUCFV

CG AJLJLJEJFl 1!

This Month

blessings that they have received from Him. After thirty days of fasting, Muslims, upon sighting the crescent, declare that the last day of Ramadan has passed . This means that the next day is Eid - ul- fitr; the Muslim New Year. It is a time to celebrate and feast. People will attend a special prayer on Eid morning and visit with friends and family. Gifts and money are given and received. In Muslim countries people attend fairs and festivals and decorate their houses with lights.

To all Muslims, Happy Ramadan!!

Kenya Exhibition

Jan 23 - 28 ---

Painting

Jan 29 - Feb 4 --

Photography

Rm. B -136 Hours: 8:00 - 4:00 Mon. - Thurs.

Read The Writin On The Wall An .... ~~ subtly

of us, who seek, or

look for, what may be

~ termed truth, or wisdom perhaps, V)

£

must ask him or herself what Harlod Bloom (arguably the twentieth centuries best literary critic) calls, "the biblical ques-

"The first platitude she brought back was the poignant, "Don't save the hopeless". I thought to myself "fair enough; if they are hopeless then it seems almost paradoxical to help them for they are without hope and are therefore practically rendered incapable of being helped"." tion: where shall truth be found?" he encourages us to look to the canonical books of literature for the answer to the question. After all. Socrates tells us "the unexamined life is a life not worth living". I agree and I ask Harold's question too. I looked to find wisdom in the bathroom stalls of the Starfish Room. What that is God only knows.

I took a pen and paper into the men's washroom and my girlfriend (Helen is her name by the way. Who cares? I know, but she is all good and makes me beautiful and she helped with this piece) into the woman's washroom to •see what she could uncover.

The first platitude she brought back was the poignant, "Don't save the hopeless". I thought to myself "fair enough; if they are hopeless then it seems almost paradoxical to help them for they are without hope and are therefore practically rendered incapable of being helped". Sounds pretty circular does it not? I suppose that it is the way my mind works, or perhaps something got lost in the translation. I don't know; it was just a thought. You will obviously hear something different in those words and I warmly welcome your responses.

Next, we find the classic one word jot-type remark. I suppose they are for the individual who feels compelled to contribute to the traditions of western thought, but who does not possess the articulation requisite of a profound thinker. Here are the two Helen found: "Bonafly" and "Lanbfur". As suggested by my good friend Jason Sigurdson these may simply be the name of two bands who wished to indulge in some free widely read advertising. Who knows? "Bonafly" is a cheesy play on the word bonafied I assume. A little lacking in creativity, but an honest attempt nonetheless.

"Lambfur" I'll leave up to the individual. It could be a metaphor for the female pudenda; again, who knows for sure?

Here comes my favorite: "the revenge of metal is near". Cool. What, just out of curiosity, would metal be avenging? Perhaps it is a solemn lament to the days when the days of the Starfish Room used to be a little metal

club called Club Soda, who housed many classic eighties rockers like: Helix, Ratt, Great White, and even Motley Crue is said to have played there once. Perhaps whoever wrote this wishes for a revival of the riff-rock of the eighties. Not a bad idea. Remember what comes "Round and Round" goes "Round and Round".

Now for an example of what I might call an embittered feminist scratching her, or part of her unpleasant ideology on the wall for everyone to cherish. She write, "Downsett, we weren't born so much as we fell out".

To me, an odd perspective. I have never personally given birth myself, but all the accounts I have heard do not indicate that infants fall out of women so much as they are agonizingly pushed, pulled, and otherwise surgically removed from the womb. Now of course, our author here probably uses "fell" figuratively rather than literally. Perhaps w~ fall out so that we can be born. For me this feminist trope denigrates the beauty of childbirth and undermines the intense pain and struggle that must be endured by the mother in order that she may give birth. Again, I may be very wrong; please let me hear your thoughts; another perspective would be a welcome advance.

Let us tum now to the men's washroom. A wholly vile and repugnant place full of less than pleasant stenches and sounds. The men did not seem to be as prolific as the woman, and of course seemed to be more simpie than the women were. Surprised men? Me neither. The first esoteric

cogitation I spied was a little exclamation that went like this: "unclean wieners, yeah!" That guy is cool.

What kind of assanine individual would celebrate the fact that his penis is dirty? Not to mention he decided that it is dirty enough that others might want to hear about it too. Maybe, it is a sarcastic statement about someone else's penis. However, I think men like to talk about their own penises rather than the penises of other men. I don't know that for sure; it is just a thought.

Albeit not a great thought, but a thought nonetheless.

The next one is a classic, "Fuck shitup!" Ata boy, let's fight. Or, at least let's fuck some kind of shit up (we don't know what kind yet, but when we find it I promise we will fuck it up, not to worry). But, what we do know is that there is some shit which needs fucking up. So, c'mon boy's lets do some shit fucking up. Enough said?

With timing like Peter North the next platitude I found summed it all up, "fueled by ignorance". What else needs to be said?

I don't know if there is anything to be learned from all these tiny droplets of wisdom, but they are interesting to say the least. Any comments you may have ask me in the hall, or in class, or direct your observations to the Cascade office (Paul will be more than happy, perhaps even ecstatic, to help you). I'll leave you with the most enigmatic of all quotes. If you have any ideas as to what this means please help me to crack the code: coma crew U.S. 96 Altenessen R.P. Nazi Free Zone.

The Cascade

Jan 17

1996 A7 ~~n

Jacobs Matter: Blond Ambition 0 ne thousand,

nine-

hundred, and ninety-seven years have passed since a virgin screamed and dumped a heap of holy protoplasm on an unprepared world. No one had any time to plan for this. Thirty years later Pontius Pilate and his pack

"/' m not the new messiah, but I've got a pretty good handle on the apocalypse which is set to happen in just over one thousand days." of Roman pals nailed the same naked soul to a tree. Once again, few people gave a rat's ass what happened to a shepherd and his flock. It took years to get the information out. Still, when the martyr's heart gave its final thunk against his emaciated chest there was a tick in the mind and a tock on the tablet. Centuries later, one life became a reference point for the record books.

And what if the Romans had known?

What if the status quo had been privy to the prophecy? There would have been sentries at the stable doors. Herod would have defiled the virgin and fed

her fetus to the hounds.

Now, as we creep closer to a new age, the future becomes more and more predictable. I read the scriptures and I squeal with glee.

Jesus preached that he had come as the lamb and would return as the lion. Now hear me mew. I'm not the new messiah, but I've got a pretty good handie on the apoca- .,_""""""...,. ___________

lypse which is set to happen in just over one thousand days.

Yeats said that the second coming would occur at the turn of the millenium. If he read the cycle right, then judgment day is upon us. In three years the anti-christ will skim the cream off the top and leave the rest of us curdling in hell. So repent, oh repent ye cheeseheads!

The new Madonna is among us.

She is like ...a virgin, yet she has produced a child. A baby girl, feminine

The Principles Perfect Serial

and famous, like the sphinx. Has anybody even considered the significance of this? Wake up and smell the afterbirth. We are witnessing a precursor to the end of the world. The promised evidence for Christian faith. The pope's already poppin pills. He's really worried about Madonna.

Now he's going to _. have to offer some

kind of justification for all those doctrines. Her conception, immaculate or not, poses a serious threat to his neutered dogma. There are six hundred and sixty-six empty pepto bismol botties stacked against the walls of the Vatican halls.

The most powerful people in the world lack the confidence and support needed for action. Simply, Madonna is just more popular than those old, political fuddyduddys. We are living in a material world, and this time eve-

of the Murder

~ Victims

.St

When approaching this U situation one must keep in mind ....; their connection to the victim. ~ The most ideal situation would be ~ ..t:) no connection at all. The next 0 Cl:::step would be choosing someone ~ w~o would not be noticed as missing for a substantial period of time. This factor will aid in the eluding of the police or the natural destruction of evidence on the body, if any. Therefore one would find a great amount of success preying on types such as prostitutes, homeless or runaways.

Apprehension Site This location must be thoroughly investigated. Basing this abduction on the use of a vehicle, which will obviously work the best. Preferably the root of the site should be secluded, which will lead to a less possibility that one would be witnessed in the vehicle. The actual abduction must be quick and smooth. A forced abduction is the last resort, a volunteered entry to ones vehicle is recommended and less conspicuous. The victim should then be rendered unconscious, methods may vary. The root from the apprehension site should preferably differ from the root to the site to avoid being seen twice, if witnesses are present.

The Vehide

The vehicle should not belong to the perpetrator, but one must be obtained in some manner. Rental is a bad choice, as it can be traced back to the renter. If a vehicle is stolen, the murder must be committed directly after or as close to the theft as possible.

Using ones own car may also be a terrible mistake as it can be directly traced. The best car or vehicle would be a very common make . A helpful suggestion would be to remove a seat or to have a designated area to place the victim clearly out of site from out side the vehicle. Stolen license plates are also a useful item.

Murder Site and Body Dump Site This should generally be the

ryone's watching the lucky star. What are the wise men doing? Clinton: as soon as he hears this trumpet of a prophecy he will know what he needs to do, compromise. He and Rush Limbaugh will exchange unrecognized vows in a bipartisan union of homosexual love. Deliverance. The Queen of England: she'll be on the cordless in the star chamber barking orders at her subjects in the missile silos. Black leather stuck to her royal rump, tugging on her twenty-four carat nipple rings, screaming "NUKE ME! NUKE ME NAUGHTY!!" George Ferguson, newly re-elected mayor of Abbotsford: will check out of office and into the Vanderzalm home for the terminally lame.

What does all this mean to us?

I've spoken with a few people in the school. One non-believer said "January first 2000 will just be another day".

Another slurred "it'll be a big party man". Neither of them seemed to understand that the clocks are no longer adding up, they're counting down.

Instead of toasting in the new millennium with champagne and sparklers, grab you marshmallows and your flame retardant tuxedo. Then come over to my house. We 'II watch the world bum.

same place, limiting the amount of useless as well as dangers of excess driving. The murder may be conducted as one sees fit. The site as well must be heavily investigated where there is no chance of a witness. In preparation of the site one must locate a place where the body is to be disposed. If one is wanting the body to be found, a river is an ideal location. The presence of water will aid one with the washing of all physical evidence from the body.

If one wishes the body not to be found, it is recommended that it be buried.

The hole for the body must dug beforehand in order to make the time with the body as short as possible. Evidence such as tire tracks and foot prints should be covered up or be unable to

be processed for information .

The Body The body must be free of and physical evidence such as hair, fingerprints and fibers from anywhere that one has been. This evidence can then be associated between the victim and the murderer. The body is the area where the physical evidence can relate one to the crime. Care and perfection can rid one of these elements of burden. As well as leaving pieces of oneself with the body, one must make sure that they don't take pieces of the body with them. These items may readily show up in the transport vehicle, therefore the vehicle must thoroughly cleaned, then discarded or altered in some way.

Clothing The clothing from the body of the victim must be removed and put in a plastic bag. This bag should not leak, or be able to lose any bits of evidence from it. The best way to get rid of the clothes would be to bum them.

The clothing form the murderer should also be burnt. But one should not change their clothes somewhere they frequently visit. Somewhere outdoors is recommended. The clothes should be discarded in the same manner as the victims as mentioned above.

The murder weapons and restraining devices should be disposed of in an area with no relation and a great distance from the murderer.

AS The Cascade

Volume 4 Issue No. 7

Rants Raves and Assorted Reviews ...c ...c ~ ~

Welcome

back fellow

survivors of the Winter of '96.

S::: I'd like to recap the year in mu-

~

~

sic by listing my top -ten albums for the year. Here we go ...

I. Tool Aenima (Zoo/BMG) Their third album unleashes even more of Maynard's dark side with a much m_orediverse sound all throughout. Very liberating and empowering music.

2. V/A More of Our Stupid Noise (Squirtgun) This Ontario compilation rocks, pops, fuzzes, and slides right into your head with extremely catchy tunes from some of Canada's best art-

ists including Hayden, Treblecharger, Speedbuggy, Sloan, and Head. Over twenty songs with only the highest in quality- a steal.

3. Rose Chronicles Happily Ever After (Nettwerk) Vancouver's ownRose Chronicles defies radio formats and leaves fans breathless with their best album yet. Do I hear a second Juno?

4. Rage Against the Machine Evil Empire (Epic) We waited so long for this one that I wondered if it was coming at all. It did and I'm impressed as these masters of abrasive fusion once again peddled their respectable social messages to a new legion of hungry fans.

5. Jeremy Enigk Return of the Frog Queen (Sub Pop) Enigk surprised a lot of people by claiming to be born again after Sunny Day Real Estate fell apart, but he surprised even more by creating this wonderful solo effort featuring deeply-personal lyrics backed by a partial orchestra.

6. Sarah McLaughlin Rarities, BSides and Other Stuff (Nettwerk) What can you say? Even her b-sides album is heads andshoulders above most of her dismal solo-female competition.

7. Kevin Kane Neighborhood Watch (On and Off) Ex- Grapes man Kane bears all in downsizing his commercial fame to include his acoustic guitar

and his world.

8. Hayden Moving Careful (Sonic Unyon) The kids love him and so do I, and although he shows traces of repetitiveness here, he still m a k e s drinking a cup of coffee sound more magical thananyone around.

9. Original Soundtrack Trees Lounge (MCA) This soundtrack to an obscure movie directed by and starring Reservoir Dog Steve Buscemi is lounge at its best. Oh yah, and Hayden does the title track.

10. Duotang Smash the Ships and Raise the Beams (Mint) Read all about Winnipeg's dynamic duo in this weeks feature.

Irvine Welsh Comes Out On Top In Ecstasy :.... ~

~

~

-

AfterreadingAcademic commentary

for what seemed

Q:l like an eternity, I was happy to ~

crack open Irvine Welsh 's Ec-

i::::s o..,. stasy for a good dose of story

telling. Welsh is best known in popular circles for his critically acclaimed novel Trainspotting,

"As with Trainspotting, Ecstasy involves the evercool world of drugs, youth and sex. To my delight, Welsh added in a concept often forgotten about in the more 'cool and hip scenes I have read about-love." which was made into a film last year (awesome film by the way). As with Trainspotting, Ecstasy involves the ever-cool world of drugs, youth and sex. To my delight, Welsh added in a concept often forgotten about in the more 'cool and hip scenes' I have read

about-love.

The novel is actually three "tales of chemical romance" whose only real link is the character's use of MDMA, or Ecstasy. But Welsh's description is not simply about how high his characters like to get; an insight into a lifestyle many do not expenence.

I guess the biggest theme involved in Ecstasy is change. In the first story, "Lorraine Goes to Livingston", a middle-aged harlequin romance writer discovers her husband of many years is a leeching, perverted, panderer who has secretly been having 'fun' with other women. This rliscovery causes the writer to re-invent herself and her looks, with the aid of a young nurse who happens to enjoy "raving and E's". Eventually the writer sheds off her parasitic husband for the new youthful culture of raving and love.

Which moves us into the second story:Fortunes Always Hiding . This "Corporate Drug Romance" offers an account of one man's love for a social outcast. Jumping forward and backward in time, Welsh unravels a dan-

gerous pain reliever's release into the consumer market and its subsequent results. One of the victims of this irresponsible marketing is Samantha, who is born with flippers for arms. Fortunes Always Hiding depicts her lust for revenge and how that vindicating desire affects all whom she meets. As I mentioned before, one man falls in love with her-with detrimental results.

The last tale is called The Undefeated featuring Lloyd and his search for true love. In contrast, Heather reveals her growing desire to leave her once-a-rebel-now-a-yuppy husband.

At 26, Heather feels the abyss of maturity slowly creeping towards her, which she wants to face with someone she can love, not simply live with. Subtitled An Acid House Romance and filled with insight into the problems of mis-communication in relationships, the story is a good read and finishes the book off on a positive note.

Overall Ecstasy is worthwhile reading as a break from the normal routine involved in student life. Irvine Welsh demonstrates his ability to not

only offer a good story, but to weave in parables and lessons about human existence that I found interesting. He is definitely a clever writer who also understands what Generation X'ers want to read about; that sleek, sexy, sometimes grimy and always cool world. But to limit his appeal to Generation X is a disservice to his work, and I would easily recommend it to all with a interest for modem literature.

Smash The Ships And Raise The Duotang Flag S

...c porting custom-made ...c ~ suits and brandishing their instrus::: ments with sheer finesse Winni-

~ peg's Duotang set themselves

~

apart from the Canadian indie scene at a single glance. And then you look again and you realise that there are only two members in this band- and no guitars!

With only base and drums (like the Inbreds and God Head Silo) , Rod Slaughter and drummer Sean Allum manage to entertain better than most five-piece bands and their sound is far more minimalistic. Allum explains, "We decided we'd go back to the kind of bands we admired from the sixties.

They were really good at what we did, but thay were entertainers too, and they wanted to look good up there." And the suits? "We decided it would be kind of neat idea to put on the suit and dress up. We got them made really cheaply by a friend who is a designer

£

in Toronto."

Smash

Vancouver if ever they decide to leave Ships and Raise the their prairie homeBeams, Duotang's land. "Now, more first album, is rethan ever Rod and leased on VancouI find ourselves ver's Mint Records asking 'what the with whom they hell are we doing signed with last here?' But on the year. "Mint are a road there's one small label, but they day a week where are so professional. we break down and Grant (Lawrence, almost start crying label head and because we just Smugglers singer) want to be in our is also such a great own beds." guy." Allum felt One of the obligated to menbands lowest points tion Lawrence's beon tours was a nevolence as the band found them- show in Moncton last fall on the night selves sleeping on his floor for a weeks of the final Canada-USA game of the time during a tour in Vancouver last world cup. "It was basically like a year. it is this Mint family that makes rock/cowboy bar and the only applause Vancouver feel like a second home, and came when it happened to end a song the band says that they would move to when Canada scored." As a band that the

is fairly new to touring though, they still enjoy everywhere they go and why not, they've toured with some indie's best in The Smugglers, Zumpano, and Cub. And how does Duotang answer the mumbles of "sellout" that is sometimes heard just underbreath? Allum remarks quickly, "How have we sold out when we're making less money than we used to?" Honesty, integrety and great, pop know-how.

Who wouldn't like that? Raise the flag!

MORE FREE STUFF!!!!!

Be the first person to come to the Cascade office and tell an editor the answer to our skill testing question.

QUESTION: Where are Duotang from?

The lucky winner will receive a fabulous prize package including a Mint Records compilation CD (Featuring Duotang, Cub, Heuvous Rancheros, Gob and more), a poster, a pin, a postcard, and so much more ...

The Cascade

Jan 17 1996 A9

. ..

The Minister Of Information Disseminates ...

-11t·I

1999- The Swines Cease To Dine At Nine: The Conse uences Of Fortified Illusions Part I-Smoke

In the Eyes

~

·~ The timeline begins ... ";:; Dec 5/ 1998

G

:.:: ~

Despite

~

a crumbling in-

..S frastructure

and plummeting standard of living statistics, media outlets in the United States focus their coverage on human rights violations committed by the government of Panama. to the average viewer it was another sad story from a far off land, however those with the political intuition to know better feared a "spot check" on the pipeline of the Grand Area was imminent.

Dec 12/1998 6:35 AM/EST- An Associated Press bulletin out of Panama City reports of a "large explosion" inside the walls of the U.S. embassy. Less than an hour later the story is confirmed by the major American networks.

I :35 PM/EST- U.S. Secretary of Defense Colin Powell wastes no time in addressing the nation to tell of the consequences of this "most disturbing occurence". The following is an excerpt from his speech given to the house of representatives ....

"This atrocity will not be overlooked.

With this great nation of ours not only comes prosperity but responsibility.

The responsibility to act as the big brother to the fellowship of humanity.

We cannot tolerate chaos which puts American citizens at risk .... " 6:00 PM/EST- A news bulletin out of Los Angeles reports of twelve deaths in a conflict between police and local gang members. Although the gang-related incident is one of the most bloody in recent memory, news coverage is minimal.

Dec 30/ 1998- The Washington Post reports that covert CJ.A. satellites have discovered military training exercises being conducted in La Chorrea, Panama, by Panamanian soldiers. The information was rumored to be leaked to journalists after an episode of bureaucratic conflict within the Pentagon.

The Pentagon refuses comment.

Jan 7/ 1999- Two high ranking C.I.A> officials are found in an dumpster in Oklahoma City. Although they appear to have been murdered in the fashion used by local Mafia, Pentagon officials describe the homicides as "a spontaneous incident in which the agents quarreled in a state of intoxication and murdered one another." When asked if they quarreled in the dumpster in which they found Pentagon officials replied "this is an extremely delicate matter for the families of the agents.

Anymore discourse on the subject will only hinder their grieving process."

Autopsies were not released, while Pentagon officials described rumors that the men were fleeing Military Police at the time of their death as "hogwash".

To be continued ..... .

The previous material is a story I will continue to create over the following issues of the Cascade. I invite readers to write in and give their opinions on the piece as it unfolds. Prophetic or paranoid? Which side are you on?

teemed reactionist Ryan Warawa calling both Bill Clinton and Glen Clarke left-wing. Credentials for recognitionif you can't see that these two posing liberalists are more centralized than the Equator then you must have put your asshole where your mouth is .

Advice For The Recipient- It isn't about right and left, it's about writers and frauds, blindness and vision, and non-tolerance to bitch-ass hacks like you who get off seeing their name in print. I'm, laughing at you right now?

Can you see me?

The Year In Review-1996 Left-Wing Hitler Of The Year- Mark Embery, curator and owner of Hemp B.C. Credentials for recognition- Great orator and propagonist for marijuana cause, commercialized the beautiful art of "mokin' dank", came third in Vancouver civic elections proving that smoking weed can effect judgment.

Advice for recipient- It's a beautiful substance in moderation Mr. Embery, but a great portion of the population still find it offensive. Let them have their scotch, and let us keep our ganja.

Legalization will merely drive up costs and lower quality. And of course we would have to deal with re-makes of "Reefer Madness".

Stupidest Statement Of The Year- Es-

A special thanks for everyone who puts time into the Cascade. Never underestimate the power of your voice.

Props to Paul Becker for his talent and hard work in giving us the medium to express our voices. Much love to all my family. Thank you Greg and Meaghan for giving me my first nephew, Dominic. High fives to the Herbal Football Militia, The Pharoahs (Quis and The Cello), Riggs, Spleen Posse, Nate Dogg, Olson Oat Crazy D, Rupy, The Horsemen, Scotty And Ken, The Chiller Posse at Darrels, Paul-E, Reefer, all you beautiful ladies, that special female soul mate I haven't met yet, and anyone else who I have encountered througout '96. I promise to be at my lyrical best for all my readers in '97.

How to write for the Cascade Letters must be typed, double-spaced, submitted in the form of a computer disk compatible with the Cascade's Macintosh computer format, or sent via e-mail.

All letters submitted from the Student Body must include the name, phone number, and Student Number of the author(s).

Letters from persons and/or groups not affiliated with UCFV's Student Body must include name, phone number, and address of the authors(s) or group.

The Cascade accepts and publishes all letters verbatim with the full name of the author(s).

I

Ron Dart Speaks Out Cont'-----------------------------------Ioneiy search for Tickle Me Elmo becomes the story of Christmas-and distort our lives. However, Dart says, when the world is bent out of shape and the rich are set against the poor, Evangelicals seem more concerned with family than famine, or call for

charity not change. He quoted BrazilianArchbishop Helder Camera: "When I feed the poor I'm called a saint, but when I ask why the poor are poor I'm called a communist."

Ron Dart's comments were sometimes controversial, but I believed

his audience-including my TWU students-regarded him not as a emissary of a foreign tribe, but as a Christian grappling with issues which confront both Evangelicals and Liberals. Both Dart and Bob Burkinshaw (in theseries' second lecture-on Evangelical Christianity) have spoken frankly and

directly about the divisions, real and imagined, between Christians. With events at the Surrey Temple setting Sikh against Sikh, the series' next presentation, on Sikhism by Simon Fraser University's Hugh Johnstone (February 12 at UCFV) will be particularly timely.

ings as to AVOID marking in the book. (what a square, I cackled to myself).

You know who you are, you and your "fresh and clean" book troupe. May one thousand dog-eared paged books befall you. My liberated (bic) id has taken me to new heights of insight. I now have intimate pencil discussions with Wolfe and Camille and whatever else !acquire. (I don't abuse anything that isn't mine). In fact, given the choice between a used book rich with personality (pencil markings!) or a new, sterile, untouched one-you know which one I'd buy. Such discussions take place in the margins but are in no way marginal. Print has finally become an interactive medium. I am so happy, I have the gay knowing-

AMAGNORASIS ! or whatever that word was. More of my friends borrowing my books feel freer to comment within the pages. I like that. It takes guts to leave your thoughts out like that. Once, I got a book back from a friend, reread it and delighted in seeing her carefully penciled response to the questions I had raised. My respect for her has soared. Thus, my friends, fellow commentators, let's raise a pen in celebration of our minds and our opinions. My books are far from ABUSED, au contraire mon frere, they are well loved.

(The subliminal impromptu poetry is: When I was of knowledge, never neurosis, the system is madness, to avoid amagnorisis.)

Pen Charged With Neurosis Cont'--------------------------------un-erasable imprints. However, I still refused to underline. "Highlighting," heralding those mammoth neon markers, also seemed heinous: such grotesque colors seemed garrish overtones on THE works of learned scholars. (besides, I could sell! those books of my brother's and the less higlighting, the better the sell). Thus, if you will, I became an occasional book defacer in less than one year of university.

Alas! Last year, a remarkable final step. I finally rejected my neurosis in its entirety-if you will, I unleashed my Bic(tm) id. I still recall that brilIiant epiphany, my glorious revolt. I remember it was in a History class. A stroke of madness, a blur of red ink. I underlined a passage about Marxism

with RED. Karl Marx! In all his bold Bic(tm) ness! ! Some kind of revolution, nonetheless, and I was addicted.

Soon I craved more chances to deface my books. Now Wordsworth laments in green underlines and Mannered rages in soothing blue circles of pen ink. Of course, (now that I've got the hang of it) I have a SYSTEM. Yes, different neon colors separate anything photocopied and well, there IS a method to my new MADNESS. I cherish writing in my books, having been for so many years being restrained.

Now a certain English professor has advised our class, upon cracking upon our spiffy Norton Anthologies, to photocopy the selected read-

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You can make a difference!!

The views expressed in The Cascade are the views of students, mainly people just like yourself. Get the point?

SUS Report Welcome back all UCFV students. Your student's union board is busy already working on a number of projects. If you are interested in getting involved or have any concerns or questions remember to drop by our office (beside student lounge in Chilli, Room A2 l 3 in Abby) or call (795-2825 in Chilli, 864-4613 in Abby). Also elections for a new board are only a couple of months away so start thinking about nominations.

At the end of last semester we

were involved a telephone conference which discussed the impact of BC Benefits on post secondary students and took steps to work towards solutions.

If you would like more information about this issue or if you have questions, concerns, or comments about the new social assistance please drop by the office or give us a call.

The policy which will govern the future Ombuds office at UCFV is complete and hiring for this position will begin soon. A special thanks to

Amy Kheong for all the hours she put in helping us develop this important position. If you are not quite sure what an Ombud is, here is a short description: An Ombud is an objective, neutral resource person, who seeks to inform students about what to do when they have a complaint and also helps mediate resolutions informally and fairly. An Ombuds makes reports and recommendations on how UCFV can improve policy to make itself more "student friendly". Questions? Drop

by. A more detailed description will follow when the Ombuds office opens.

If you have any comments about the registration process (what you like and what could be improved), we need your imput please drop by and fill out a short survey.

Next month will feature some very important issues so keep updated by reading the SUS Report or come to a meeting of the Board (times posted).

Jamie Hellewell, SUS President

share?!? ... No! Not there!!! ... What was the number called. I hate having to wait in line for the bathroom .... That one was so easy!!! I can't believe you didn't get it ... Hey! That's mine. . .

But, what if we're not sitting at a table ... He's so hard but, you have to take him ... I was one or two from being done and she took it away ... That was soooo much fun ... We should do this more often! Two times a year isn't enough for me."

Some pictures of the party may be posted on the BASA board outside room A334. (The best one will be held with their negatives, purchasable in non-sequential unmarked bills).

Now on to 1997 ... Fweeeeee . .. HAPPY NEW YEAR (fill in appro-

priate party here).

Well we've regrouped the BASA council and we have some great upcoming events in store for you.

-A movie night, sometime this month. We were thinking of a couple of action flicks such as the latest Bond "Golden Eye" and possibly "Mission Impossible".

-We're also organizing a couple of broom ball teams to participate in activities January 24th, Broomhall tourney.

-And finally we've confirmed a BOEING Field trip on February 20th.

(Mark it in your calendars). Open to all Business students. We are only able to fit a maximum of 45 people on the tour. Classes are NOT in session for

the February 20th date and DEMAND is HIGH for this trip so keep listening for more information.

Keep checking the BASA board, outside room A334 for more information.

Further we've recently had some graduations on the BASA Council. Congratulations are in order for Blanca, Stacy, Darcy, and Brent.

Which means, that BASA is looking for more people to offer their time and input in the planning of future events.

Meetings are tentatively set for Wednesday from 2:30 to 3:30 in the afternoon. Stop by and visit, we'd love to here from you.

Tyson Nicholas, President

ity? B.C. increased it's greenhouse gas contributions by 15% last year (Van. Sun, Dec. 30/96). The local proliferation of car travel adds to this. Ms. Ross must be aware that over 40% of Abbotsford workers commute to jobs to the west of us.

Lobbying of the provincial government and offering creative options

are the job of our municipal politicians.

Richmond's Halsey - Brandt continues to pressure Victoria for better transit for his constituents. And former West Van Mayor Derrick Humphries suggested a bond issue specifically for transit (The Province, July 7/93). We need some of this dedication to the issue locally.

Regina Dalton

BASA Brief Welcome back! It seems as though we just finished finals yesterday, and we are back at it again. So let's get to it.

I want to start the year off with a HUGE thank you to everyone that came out to this season's Christmas Party. Again it was a huge success because of the participation of all the enthusiastic revelers. In fact, I was able to save some snipp[ ets of conversation that you may find interesting. Bear in mind that I tried not to take them out of context, but, it was a rather raucous scene and some of the conversation may have blended together.

"Oh, is that yours .. sorry I don't want to start anything ... Oooo yeah, it was so hard ... Would you like to

Letter to the Editor Cont'------------------------------------Dear editor, After written communication with Patricia Ross, I cannot agree with Teresa Hampel 's c<2nclusion in her article "Defying Apathy: A Pioneer in the Green Frontier" (Dec. 2/96): The response I received from Ms. Ross (when requesting Abbotsford council encourage park - and - ride

options for Valley commuters) was that Abbotsford's hands are tied until the provincial government does something with the Mt. Lehman interchange.

Excuses and buck - passing abound, but who on Abbotsford 's council is insisting on positive change?

Where is the evidence that Ms. Ross is making a difference for our municipal-

Ellllo has his copy of the latest Cascade!

Do you have yours?

The History and Criminal Justice Departments Invite all to Join us at the follo1Ning event in celebration of

Martin

Luther

King,

Jr.

Martin Luther King the Continuing Struggle Racial Justice

and

UCFV

Panel

Day

for

Lecture Theatre (B 1 O 1 ) January 20, 1 997 7:00 • 9:30 p.n,.

Discussion

"Standing up for the best In the American Dream King and the African-American Struggle for Freedom Dr. Sylvie Murray, History Department, UCFV 0

:

King's Relevance to 1 eeo•s Youth: A Personal Reflection Paul Becker, Student, UCFV, and editor of the Cascade Racism In the Criminal Justice John Martin, Criminal Justice Department,

System UCFV

Filn, Ethnic

Open-n,ike

Notions

(56

discussion

minutes,

1 987)